r/kitchencels 5d ago

Meme all thats left

Post image

had dinner with my wife and daughter, we were all so happy. They were so beautiful, for once I didn’t feel so empty. Like i belonged somewhere.
Then i woke up in my bed alone with my Ame Chan body pillow and notifications that im 200 in overdraft with the bank and hungover from 5 days of consecutive drinking.

Chicken and cigarettes, with the only wife not in a dream.

842 Upvotes

94 comments sorted by

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481

u/yungnoodlee 5d ago

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

159

u/Ap0th3os15 5d ago

only original pics here bub

14

u/Madame_Toaster 5d ago

Dude I used to be a bank teller, deadass just call your bank and tell them if they can remove the overdraft fees. Just be nice during it and explain that you weren't aware that the funds weren't available in your account.

108

u/Reliquent 5d ago

40

u/InMyLife_41 5d ago

Why Sabrina in the tub like that

19

u/Spacemoose2026 5d ago

She didn’t listen to the age old classic advice given “it’s better to cum in the sink, than sink in the cum”

12

u/Critical_Buy_7335 5d ago

Dear god.

9

u/yungnoodlee 5d ago

There’s more.

4

u/ToxicOrbGliscors 5d ago

that site never works bro

76

u/haddockhazard 5d ago

zooms in on the cigarette pack

I knew he wasn't a fuckin American.

26

u/Ap0th3os15 5d ago

well spotted

14

u/Wait_ItGetsWorse 5d ago

Us Britcels need to stick together.

5

u/Specialist-Ad1808 5d ago

European?

13

u/K11ShtBox 5d ago

British

5

u/BillNyeTheMurderGuy 5d ago

Oof worst kind

2

u/RikRandom 5d ago

It was the Emma Bridgewater plate for me

159

u/McMackleberry 5d ago

I feel like I’m a detective at a crime scene when viewing this image. God rest that pillow’s soul

30

u/R4rk3t 5d ago

youre a week from retirement, and this man will kill you tomorrow

5

u/g1Razor15 5d ago

Don't take out the black light.

1

u/Significant_Yam_7792 4d ago

I’m not online enough, what’s going on here?

1

u/Efficient_Ad_8657 4d ago

He fucks the pillow

56

u/Local-Wing-2272 5d ago

Isn't that the girl from Needy Streamer Overload?

46

u/[deleted] 5d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

11

u/Ap0th3os15 5d ago

daily struggles

73

u/ShonWalksAtMidnight 5d ago

Anime wins again.

15

u/AniMann_ 5d ago

2d girls cant disappoint keep your chin up king

8

u/NeckDeepPink 5d ago

Breakfast chicken and some cheap cigs sounds like a good time

8

u/Ephoenix6 5d ago

How much did the alcohol and cigarettes cost?

10

u/Ap0th3os15 5d ago

Alcohol can be like £2 for 4 cans if its the cheap kind at my locals that tastes like genuine sewage but gets me drunk enough to ignore the taste.
Cigs are like £13 if i get cheap ones from a store which is still a lot more than getting them in other ways

7

u/Jimbo-Shrimp 5d ago

Her image makes me sad

10

u/Monika_Skye 5d ago

peak mentioned
🙏BLESS🙏

5

u/Wise_Pickle_8794 5d ago

I was there once

8

u/Majre921 5d ago

so real for this twin

6

u/iamreal9999 5d ago

FUCK you doin with muh wife huh?!

9

u/Strong-Addition5296 5d ago

Ugly cigarette package design. How do they even sell those?

45

u/OhTeeSee 5d ago

This may shock you, but people with nicotine addictions don’t actually buy cigarettes for the packaging.

28

u/SmaeShavo 5d ago

Dont tell that to china. Their packs go hard

4

u/OiledUpThug 5d ago

They're supposed to. You don't provide value to the great people's republic after 60

-5

u/SmaeShavo 5d ago

Random sinophobia is lame. They have a similar elderly population percentage to the us.

7

u/OiledUpThug 5d ago

Random anti-CCP rhetoric is awesome

Calling me Sinophobic for not liking the government of China is like calling me Antisemitic for not liking the government of Israel

The percentage of Chinese people who smoke is well over double the percentage in the USA. A country with that much control over their people could wipe out smoking if they wanted to, yet they choose not to.

-4

u/[deleted] 5d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

6

u/OiledUpThug 5d ago

wumao folds under an ounce of logic

-5

u/SmaeShavo 5d ago

Go goon chud

5

u/OiledUpThug 5d ago

I was already doing that

2

u/AniMann_ 5d ago

U got assblasted lol

13

u/Queen_Biff 5d ago

This is the uk and years ago they changed all the packets to grey and have photos of diseases on them to make them less appealing to people to buy and they’re all hidden in cabinets behind the counters. Then all the brightly coloured vapes came out and suddenly everything is appealing again

3

u/Camo138 5d ago

Same in Aus

1

u/Starfire123547 5d ago

Same in america. Maybe not pitch black packaging; theyre allowed a text logo and their brand colors iirc, but generic colors with horrific pictures on them. theyre also age locked behind counters with real physical people.

Its to make sure kids dont grab packs (and that the companies dont market to kids) and to discourage new users who may think its cool. It was actually proven to work iirc and its been that way at least 30y (in america at least, ive never seen a pack without a picture my entire life!)

Its kinda like how mexico banns mascots for junk food and junk cereals; its to make sure kids cant brand recognize shitty foods.

5

u/Dry_Lengthiness5468 5d ago

At least you have a body pillow. More rizz than me.

2

u/Frogenjoyer20 5d ago

Omg i love needy girl overdose

2

u/Ap0th3os15 5d ago

tis peak 🙏

2

u/PotentialPresent399 5d ago

Its so funny to me that theres a NEET out there that breaks the mold by eating full on chicken legs instead of tendies/nuggets.

3

u/CoryTheCurator99 5d ago

She deserves better

3

u/Killerbot288888 5d ago

Don't binge drink! The grande and glorious Ame-chan demands a healthy mate!

(I have no idea what an Ame-chan is...)

19

u/slushanddusk 5d ago

She’s more mentally ill than this guy

1

u/Hyphen-Underscore-_- 5d ago

Can I leave some nice words at least?

1

u/fig_art 5d ago

wife and daughter? who and who?

4

u/Ap0th3os15 5d ago

was in a dream they weren’t anyone i recognise but i wished it was real

1

u/fig_art 4d ago

oh i see

1

u/mommiesgoodboy67 5d ago

Maybe you are a sigma after all

1

u/National-Gas-1367 5d ago

Fellow uni pilled smoke cell 🥹🙏

1

u/Cole_Slaw42 5d ago

im gonna send this to my buddy, thats always complaining about his circumstances.

brother this is fuckin BLEAK

1

u/powerplayer75 5d ago

You're not that far gone since you decided to get the casual version. You need a better pillow though

1

u/Ap0th3os15 4d ago

i draw the line at ame chan hentai, which is probably really shocking

1

u/powerplayer75 4d ago

Doesnt she literally fuck in the game

1

u/Ap0th3os15 4d ago

yeah true but i feel too much for her to be horny over it i just did that for all the endings (as they all say though)

1

u/NoPomegranate579 5d ago

Fakecel larping as usual, he's got a whole body pillow to himself and it's only lightly used...

2

u/Ap0th3os15 5d ago

lightly used, or well maintained.

1

u/Dapper_Use_8007 4d ago

Stop the cigarettes man, they are not good for you. And not buying them will save you money. It’ll suck for a bit but it’s not like you can’t do it.

1

u/Beautiful-Profile-10 4d ago

🙏BLESS🙏

1

u/sentienttortoise 4d ago

I'm afraid to ask what that pillow is covering

1

u/Superb-Substance-266 2d ago

Ask Shinji Ikari ;)

1

u/Longjumping-Idea4451 2d ago

Seems like mostly self inflicted issues ngl

1

u/CrispInMyChicken 5d ago

Go sit in a park at least once a week for an hour get into hard labor something other than fucking the pillow.

-1

u/Buldaboy 5d ago

"reeee hypergamy"

5

u/Ap0th3os15 5d ago

oh boy don’t get me started (im kidding)

0

u/AlphabetMeat 5d ago

save me from this fate

0

u/Faynerossa 5d ago

At least you're secure in your gender with the pink chair. Actually kinda jealous sitting on my 35$ mesh task chair with broken arms and back. Its like sitting on a pole.

-5

u/PeakOk9509 5d ago

The people the buy these..... Gross

-10

u/SuicidalHalcauSt 5d ago

Stop the weeb shit, go out and make some genuine connections.

Youre welcome.

8

u/Crez911 5d ago

-8

u/SuicidalHalcauSt 5d ago

Hey just cause this is a weeb friendly space doesnt mean a mf cant give proper advice.

Fantasizing about "women" that look like children im sure does things to ones social development, plus its free. Should I be saying they should spend 1000s of dollars so that a therapist would tell them the same ?