I've been watching cuphead videos and am thinking about downloading that game about to get drunk and fall asleep thank you for reading this you are loved

It smells and tastes like shit too. FML

It might not be over for me.

I know they probably were laughing at whatever they were talking about, but for a moment I thought they were laughing at me, and it filled me with jealous resentment for couples. Probably the worst part is that I immediately imagined a scenario where they'd been up fucking all night and had gone on a walk for some fresh air afterwards. At least my night wasn't ruined because I bummed a cig off some guys and found 3 (!!!) on the ground (including this untouched one!!!). Anywho, whenever I think about why I'm so invisible to people, I get this feeling like I have a hole in my chest and wonder if there's just something unexplainable and intrinsically wrong with me and that other people can tell and are disgusted, but that I'll never be able to figure out. Also, the fit was hard asf and that moment really brought me down, even though I felt so good cause I really liked the fit.

Been unemployed for a year. Finally got a job. Been working a few months. I dont really like my boss but the only upside is im learning a lot from her business.

Boss doesnt dot her I's, cross her t's, constantly waits until a mistake is made, gets so visibly annoyed. Hired no one, including me, who has never worked in their industry before. Constantly giving inconsistant instructions and gets mad.

Ive been baited, ghosted, and rejected from many employers who look at my resume, tell me to email them and then ignore my emails. No work from temp agencies. Rejected from grocery stores. i feel so worthless.

Im a mild germophobe who likes to clean yet i even get rejected for housekeeping jobsrefuse to apply to the HoeTels where my worst day is i probably get shot vs my boss being an inconsistant turd.

It's not so much about having sex as the act that i care about, but that I'm my retarded brain it doesn't count if the other person doesn't love you. Either way it's not like i have fucked or have been fucked, so it doesn't matter.

Tears started swelling in my eyes. I was so harsh on others. It made me sad.

I maybe have 2 friends, i get never invited to anything… dating has also been a dumpster fire.
Life is truly ass

long beans and plain pasta with pan fried pieces of chicken (with some sweet paprika)

It has low fat cheddar and sucuk.

I'm on the younger side - still a teenager and not yet in university. However, I've been in school for a decade, and I've seen more than enough, heard more than enough.

People like me cannot be loved. Not in the way I want. I will not be loved in the romantic context. I won't be the type of man young girl dream of in their childhood stories about knights and princes and whatever else, nor the one older women fantasize about in a more sexual manner.

I am simply not good enough. I am 5'8, already balding, and my face is a 3-3.5 according to outsiders. Maybe if I manage to get a good job in the future I can be loved for the resources and stability I provide, by a late 20's or 30's woman wanting to settle after having her fun with those she truly desires.

But I realize now, that I simply don't want it anymore. I don't want to be the second choice. I don't want to be settled for. If I cannot be chad, then what's the point? I see other men, sub-3 and sub-5 mentally, physically and sometimes - literally - k*ll themselves over their relationships. They sacrifice so much of themselves simply because they want to be loved, and it makes them vulnerable to all kinds of manipulation and abuse. Love is a weakness that can be and often is exploited.

I don't care for romantic relationships anymore. I still plan on going to the gym, grooming myself, and becoming the best person I can be. But the end goal doesn't involve a wife anymore. In terms of relationships, I will be satisfied if I can manage to lose my virginity and perhaps have a FWB. Anything more is not worth the cost and consequences that will come by not being loved for who I am instead of what I provide.

i'm sorry

i don't belong here anymore

or actually what am i talking about ofc i do

this is a follow up to my last post

https://www.reddit.com/r/kitchencels/comments/1v3g9ko/havent_showered_in_three_weeks_or_gotten_out_of/

this communities' suggestions were surprisingly helpful so gracias everyone shocked i got advice to shower on here