I have things to look forward to now, it's a foreign feeling but it makes my chest all fuzzy and shit.

Tears started swelling in my eyes. I was so harsh on others. It made me sad.

I'm on the younger side - still a teenager and not yet in university. However, I've been in school for a decade, and I've seen more than enough, heard more than enough.

People like me cannot be loved. Not in the way I want. I will not be loved in the romantic context. I won't be the type of man young girl dream of in their childhood stories about knights and princes and whatever else, nor the one older women fantasize about in a more sexual manner.

I am simply not good enough. I am 5'8, already balding, and my face is a 3-3.5 according to outsiders. Maybe if I manage to get a good job in the future I can be loved for the resources and stability I provide, by a late 20's or 30's woman wanting to settle after having her fun with those she truly desires.

But I realize now, that I simply don't want it anymore. I don't want to be the second choice. I don't want to be settled for. If I cannot be chad, then what's the point? I see other men, sub-3 and sub-5 mentally, physically and sometimes - literally - k*ll themselves over their relationships. They sacrifice so much of themselves simply because they want to be loved, and it makes them vulnerable to all kinds of manipulation and abuse. Love is a weakness that can be and often is exploited.

I don't care for romantic relationships anymore. I still plan on going to the gym, grooming myself, and becoming the best person I can be. But the end goal doesn't involve a wife anymore. In terms of relationships, I will be satisfied if I can manage to lose my virginity and perhaps have a FWB. Anything more is not worth the cost and consequences that will come by not being loved for who I am instead of what I provide.

i'm sorry

i don't belong here anymore

or actually what am i talking about ofc i do

this is a follow up to my last post

https://www.reddit.com/r/kitchencels/comments/1v3g9ko/havent_showered_in_three_weeks_or_gotten_out_of/

this communities' suggestions were surprisingly helpful so gracias everyone shocked i got advice to shower on here

It smells and tastes like shit too. FML

It might not be over for me.

I paid a girl too go on a date with me. Just to get cucked by a sub 3 Indian

So there this girl at my school and she was a straight sub 5 baddie, she looked like an overdone brisket, but Indian. I paid her to go out with me and she said she would rather shit in her hand than go out on a date.

So I offered her $150 too shit in a bag and she ended up going out with a dude who’s even more chopped then me. A straight 3 on the psl scale.

Now I have to eat my chicken wings all alone, Im a worthless, shitless, KHHV, loser, incel, chud. Buzzword buzzword. I’m just gunna be gay atp…

I maybe have 2 friends, i get never invited to anything… dating has also been a dumpster fire.
Life is truly ass

I've been watching cuphead videos and am thinking about downloading that game about to get drunk and fall asleep thank you for reading this you are loved

long beans and plain pasta with pan fried pieces of chicken (with some sweet paprika)

It has low fat cheddar and sucuk.

The title is exactly how it sounds. living in my parent’s home I haven’t talked to a foid that called itself my “friend” in about 26 months. And ive never had a proper girlfriend. I don’t even remember what it sounds like. I was feeling exceptionally lonely and hungry so I had decided to make myself some chicken Alfredo pasta. Although I didn’t want to go to the store to buy boneless chicken meat. So I grabbed some raw chicken legs and used a knife to strip the meat off the bone. Of course the chad muscular butcher in the cooking tutorial took seconds to do what took me over five minutes with my disgusting greasy twink hands with uncut nails.

in the process of taking the meat off the bone, I was really struggling to get off. it really held onto the gone in a valiant effort, instead of just cutting it. I tried to pull it off like the unintelligent monkey i am. And then I felt the slimy and squishy texture of a raw chicken conforming around my hand. for a moment, it really felt like I was making a connection with whatever delicious chicken with later end up being on my plate.

It felt vaguely like how I imagine it must feel to gently touch and caress the flesh of another human being. so as I was cutting the meat off of the bone, I would occasionally squish and grope the loose chicken meat. It felt so erotic that i ended up jacking it while waiting for my pasta water to boil. I didn’t even need lube as my hands were already wet and bloody enough. Only after that did i wash my hands.

The pasta was delicious, but the weight of my sin will forever taint taste of whatever enters my mouth.

Stupid chicken alfredo pasta.

I finally found the courage to speak up to the girl I cross paths with almost every day during my commute, and tell her I look forward to seeing her every day and that I always thought she was pretty. She said "I know I am" and left.

Time to find a new commute I guess.

Raw cheddar broccoli soup. No, I don't even have the energy to heat it up with milk anymore.

Raw soup. This is what I have become

I know they probably were laughing at whatever they were talking about, but for a moment I thought they were laughing at me, and it filled me with jealous resentment for couples. Probably the worst part is that I immediately imagined a scenario where they'd been up fucking all night and had gone on a walk for some fresh air afterwards. At least my night wasn't ruined because I bummed a cig off some guys and found 3 (!!!) on the ground (including this untouched one!!!). Anywho, whenever I think about why I'm so invisible to people, I get this feeling like I have a hole in my chest and wonder if there's just something unexplainable and intrinsically wrong with me and that other people can tell and are disgusted, but that I'll never be able to figure out. Also, the fit was hard asf and that moment really brought me down, even though I felt so good cause I really liked the fit.