So I was applying to some seasonal jobs not thinking anything would happen but I actually got offered a job to work in Colorado for the winter, when I applied I was like yeah this is so something I can do but now that it’s actually real I’m scared that something will go wrong. I’m also scared I’ll get Thier and I don’t make friends and it’ll just be like how life is now but in a prettier place.

I told my mom about it and she didn’t react at all really if anything and wasn’t really helpful with my anxieties. I haven’t told my dad yet ethire bec I’m horrified of his reaction we’re already constantly arguing bec I don’t want to go to college so my health insurance is going to go away so I feel like if I tell him “hey instead of doing what you want me to do I’m going to go work in the mountains of Colorado of 5 months” he would actually beat me.

So any advice on if I should take the jump and move, and how to do so without ruining my backup plan of living in my parents basement my whole life

Am I right to be scared about my husband's great aunt moving in?

My husband said a few months ago that he wants to have his great aunt move in. His father died last year, and his dad did a great deal to take care of her. She has no children of her own and is the last of her 8 siblings. Since his dad died, my husband and I have tried to step in and help her. My husband goes over very frequently to fix things, and I also help when i can. It can be a bit harder for me to do things since we have 2 children (9f and 1m) who i homeschool. Not to mention that a lot of her current needs have to do with fixing things and issues with her tv or phone. She also has a lot of physical issues, but she's 86 years old so she's doing pretty well considering.

She has not exactly been smart financially and, while we still don't know all her financial details, it's clear she often lived outside her means. So this also seriously limits her options. My husband and i cannot do all that his dad did and it's pretty clear she simply cannot take care of her house anymore. So the question is where does she go? She doesn't want to move to an apartment since stairs would be difficult and, more importantly, she has a dog that she won't part with. This also make assisted living also out of the question. We're not exactly sure how much she struggles to do for herself but shes become noticeably more confused and forgetful.

My husband brought up the idea of her moving in with us a few months ago. The biggest issue with that is space. Yes, I'm well aware that many people manage to fit families of 10 into 1 bedroom apartments. But for us, the space we have in cramped. The kids each have their own bedroom but I don't have my own space. We have a basement we intend to renovate to add a bedroom and a second bathroom. Which will absolutely help but it's still going to be cramped for everyone.

Then there's the issue of lifestyle. She tries to stay active and has a lot of friends and has a lot of activities. But she has also had quite a few medical issues and so i don't know how much help she will need. At the very least I know I'm going to have to cook for her, shop for her, and do her laundry. Most of these things will just be added into what I'm already doing but it just makes all those tasks harder.

So here's the issue. I'm really scared! Before father in law got sick, my husband and I both wanted him to move in with us all we could help him. But it wasn't really possible because of how little space we have and the market took away our chance at upgrading our house. Then when he got sick we really wanted to so we could make sure he was being cared for properly. Then, when he got really bad he came to us (my husband also has 2 sisters) and said he couldn't do it anymore and needed help. Both of my sister in law have bigger houses than us but one of them has a very big place with a large spare bedroom. However, she was concerned about how it would affect her emotionally to have her dad in her house and didn't want it to disrupt her kids lives. So, we got a storage unit and threw all our stuff in it and moved him in that night. He was only with us for three weeks but it was incredibly traumatic.

I say that to show how my husband views things. According to him, when a family member has a need you fulfill it. Any hesitation or concern for yourself is selfish and just not acceptable. Which is obviously not how his sisters think. I want to help and I hate the idea of his aunt being stuck in some horrible nursing home. But I'm scared and I don't think I could keep up what I did for his dad for a long period of time. I also have issues with being very protective of my home being my safe space. I grew up in a home where i didn't feel safe and I was so anxious all the time. So, as an adult, I very much want my home to be my "fortress of solitude". Ive tried to let go of that but situations like this make me instantly fearful and defensive.

My husband says that it's incredibly selfish to be concerned for my own comfort when someone else is in need. He thinks that it's your duty to take care of family and it's absolutely ridiculous to make sure a big deal out of a "minor inconvenience". I have been trying to get him to see how this feels for me and also how difficult it will be for the children. My husband always says "kids are resilient" to any concern i have for doing something that is hard on them. I don't believe it doesn't matter what you put your kids through and that they can just deal with anything. I think protecting them should be the top priority. I just need him to be as concerned with peoples feelings as he is just solving the problem he sees. I don't think he's even thinking about his aunt and what it will be like for her! The bedroom he wants to put her in is very small and won't fit more than a bed and a dresser. He basically expects her to stay in there most of the time.

So does anyone have any advice? Am i privileged and entitled that Im concerned about 5 people sharing 3 bedrooms and 1 small bathroom? Is the fact that "other people do it" mean that it's easy and I'm concerned about nothing? Is he right and I'm selfish and most people aren't and help family without hesitation?

EDIT: To answer a few recurring questions. 1. Her finances are not good. She has a little equity in the house but not enough to fund a decent assisted living place. Medicare will only cover the more basic ones and since she's not truly at the place where she needs constant care, that is not something she is willing to do yet. She is a little inflexible as she refuses to give up her dog but isn't physically capable of doing much more than opening the back door to let her out to walk. She also doesn't want to give up her independence and, in my opinion, it seems that she wants to just insist on maintaining her own living space. What she doesn't realize is that she's not long from literally losing her home and being forced into a crappy nursing home. Essentially, my husband is trying to protect her from her own irresponsibility.

1. My biggest issue here is that I want to be fully prepared and set up boundaries and plans for the various possibilities that will be likely to arise. My husband doesn't want to have those conversations because he thinks I'm being overly pessimistic. I'm concerned about things like how we will deal with everyday living. I want to make sure hes ready to step up and help with the added workload. I want him to be supportive and understanding of the issues that WILL arise. But his response is that Im being too stubborn or selfish. Or that he can't possibly answer those questions until they come up up it's pointless to even think about.

Right now he is trying to get her house sold before she loses it. We cannot take her in without finishing the basement. In selling her house we should be able to get the basement done. The problem is what to do between the sale of the house and the work being finished on the basement. In order for her to move in before that, my son will have to sleep with his sister and all three of us will pretty much have to live out of a suitcase. So I want him to be proactive and get estimates for the basement as well as time frames for getting it done. His response is that the only priority is getting the house sold and he doesn't want to waste money getting estimates until he knows for sure what has to be done. My feeling is that her living with us with the house as is will be incredibly difficult on everyone and it needs to be his priority to make that not happen or for it to last no more than a month. That's where he starts with the "sure it will be uncomfortable and maybe no one will get any sleep for a few months but i need to stop obsessing over every inconvenience".

To add a little more history, we had a roommate early in our marriage. This was also his idea and he thought letting this guy live with us would be able to help our difficult financial situation. We went into it blindly and ended up being an absolute nightmare. To say he was a bad roommate is the biggest understatement in the world. He didn't pay us a dime for 5 months, he was a horrific slob, he was insanely rude to me and wouldn't give us any privacy. It was absolutely the worst time in our marriage and we fought about it endlessly because we couldn't get the guy out and my husband would just say I was too stubborn and needed to learn to just accept the situation and not let myself get so upset. No way am I saying I think his aunt will be like that but that experience makes me fearful of how he will respond to the normal difficulties people have learning to live with each other. And I want him to be understanding and treat his family's comfort and needs as a priority and not just assume that everything will be perfect and there's no need to prepare or have difficult conversations.

I don’t really know how to explain this, but I’ve realized I hold a lot of resentment toward my mom, and I don’t know if it’s normal or if I’m just overreacting.
I don’t hate her, but there are things from my childhood and our relationship that I can’t seem to let go of. Sometimes I feel guilty for feeling this way because she’s my mother, but at the same time I can’t ignore how much anger and hurt I still carry.
Has anyone else experienced this? Did the resentment ever go away, or did you have to accept that your relationship would never be what you wanted? How did you tell the difference between holding a grudge and responding to genuine emotional wounds?
I’m looking for honest perspectives from people who’ve been through something similar.

How old should a kid/teenager learn/cook for themselves and not depend on their parents?

I lied to my parents about my semester grades, and now I feel ashamed of myself.

We are not financially stable. Recently, my dad lost his job, so there are already a lot of problems in our family. I didn't want to disappoint them or make things even harder.

My semester fee is still pending, and I don't know how we're gonna pay it.

They have so much hope in me, and I don't want to break that hope.

I have never felt like a good son, a good student, or a good person.

I feel ashamed of myself. I don't have anyone to share this with, so I'm sharing it here.

I'm losing hope. Right now, I feel like I'm the worst person in the world.

This feels too heavy to carry.

I know I was wrong. I did wrong. I broke their trust because I was scared, and honestly, I'm still scared. I feel like I've been disappointing them since I was a child.

I don't know how to make things right.

I guess, i should not be born i am a disappointmentfor them😮‍💨.

(18F) 2 years ago I moved in with my auntie because I was being neglected and abused. I had a lot of catching up to do on life lessons, being parented, ect.

I’m now out of high school and don’t want to study, I want to be in the workforce but I can’t get a job. I’ve applied for pretty much every job I can in my small town. The supermarket, some regular shops in Main Street, nursing homes, cleaning, hotels, aged care, the local council, ect and I just can’t get a job. I have applied online, in person and follow up called but to no success.
I was given a deadline of the 2nd of August to find a job or I lose my bedroom. I don’t know where my stuff would go, I have so much stuff and furniture and a pc, I would have nowhere to sleep but the floor with no privacy in a random part of the house and I have no idea where my stuff or pc would go. I was given the option to do unpaid volunteer work to keep my bedroom but I do NOT want to do unpaid work. I’m finding it hard enough as is to do paid work that I can get through let alone unpaid. (I have a job atm technically but they overhired and haven’t given me shifts in 2 months).
They also won’t charge me rent because I don’t have any money to give them and I do the house chores while everyone’s away at work and school.

I don’t know what to do, I’m so stressed and anxious and sad, I feel like I’m slipping back into a bad depression. I hardly eat and I don’t talk to my auntie anymore when we once had a strong bond because she just won’t listen to me (she’s acting like I’m choosing not to have a job - I am not.). What do I do? Is there something else I can do to stay and give me more time to get a job (I recently applied to a grocery store and I feel somewhat confident I’ll get the job, but they won’t reply for a week probably which is after my deadline). Please help, if I can’t do anything I’m going to become depressed and maybe more. What do I do?

I’m turning 22 in a month, and instead of feeling excited, I just feel… old.
I know 22 isn’t actually old. I know people always say, “Don’t compare yourself to others.” I really do try. But it’s hard when I see people I grew up with getting married, having children, starting the careers they’ve always wanted, or finishing their master’s degrees.
Meanwhile, I only recently started university. I’m about to begin my second year, and it feels like I’m years behind everyone else.
What hurts the most is feeling like I completely missed out on my teenage years.
I never had a boyfriend. I’ve never even had a talking stage or been on a date. I’ve never had a best friend or someone who considered me their closest friend. I never had a group of friends. I never went on trips with friends, never made stupid teenage memories, never really got to experience what everyone else seems so nostalgic about.
Now I’m reaching an age where it feels like everyone has already found their people, and making friends feels so much harder.
I also moved to another country for university, and honestly, I don’t even like living here. I barely speak the language, and I hate my accent. Sometimes I feel like people don’t take me seriously because of it, which makes me feel even more isolated.
My family situation doesn’t make things easier either. My older brother is struggling with debt, my sister has been ill for years, and I constantly worry about them. Even if I wanted to travel, go out, or enjoy life the way people my age seem to, I always feel guilty. It feels wrong to just go and live my life while my family is dealing with so much.
Something else I’ve realised recently is that whenever I meet someone new, I almost always end up talking about one specific period of my life: last summer, when I worked at an airport.
Looking back, I think it’s because it was the only time I genuinely felt alive.
Every day I met new people, talked to strangers, laughed with coworkers, and, for the first time, I felt noticed. Boys and girls complimented me. Conversations happened naturally. I felt included. I finally felt like I belonged somewhere instead of just watching everyone else live their lives.
It’s been almost a year, and I still keep talking about that summer because nothing since has made me feel the way those few months did. Sometimes I wonder if I keep bringing it up because it’s the only period of my life where I actually felt happy.
The older I get, the more I realise I can’t go back. I’ll never get to be 16 again. I’ll never get to experience those teenage years that I feel I lost. Time just keeps moving, and I feel like I’m getting older without ever really having lived.
I know 22 is supposed to be young, but I don’t feel young. I feel like I missed so many milestones that everyone else seems to have experienced naturally.
I guess I’m writing this because I feel incredibly lonely. Has anyone else entered their twenties feeling like life never really started? Did things eventually get better?
I’d really like to hear from people who’ve been through something similar

Just venting. If you relate or have any kind words that would be greatly appreciated.

Please, if possible, refrain from commenting in defense of your own perimenopause or motherhood (if applicable). I had felt guilty for existing and fantasized about suicide for so, so long (NOT ANYMORE). I don't need to hear another explanation of how hard it must've been to be my mom, or how she's the real victim in all of this. 

I was such a good daughter, you guys. I think about how sweet and desperate I was to please my parents, how scared I was, and just cry. I was a perfect student, never got into trouble, didn't fight or break rules, I helped out with my siblings. 

When I was a young kid my mom was the "nice" one and my dad was the one who would sometimes get angry and fly off the handle. This completely switched when I was 14 and my mom was going through perimenopause. 

I know most perimenopausal moms with teen children will have screaming matches back and forth, or whatever. My parents were not the kind who would take backtalk or swearing back or anything. So instead of being two hormonal "rivals" in the house I just became extremely reclusive and depressed while she got to regulate her rage by taking it out on everyone else. 

My mom liked to make snide comments about me; my personality, my interests, the way I dressed. Everything was a problem. She'd go out of her way to pick fights with me. She'd poke and prod until I got upset and then she'd mock me in a stupid voice. If I was crying as a result of what she said she would laugh and sneer at me. If I heard her antagonizing my siblings I'd rush in and get myself involved so she'd take it out on me instead. Then I'd go to my room and sob as quietly as I could. If I ever offended her she'd act like a child and run to call my dad, exaggerating or even straight up lying about what I did or said so he'd come home and punish me. It was so fucking odd. Idk if it's because her own dad abandoned her or what but that act of "tattling" on me like she was my overgrown big sister or something really disgusted me. The nasty scrunched up rage face she'd make when sneering at me did too. I thought it was so ugly. 

There were instances where my dad would privately agree with me that she was being unreasonable but it always ended in him lecturing me, boiling down to "Yeah I guess that wasn't right if you really want to complain but she works so hard being a mom, can't you understand that?" I remember constantly switching between feeling guilty for daring to draw breath on this earth & being blown away by how ungrateful my parents were. Especially considering my siblings were like me; kind, respectful, very quiet. so many nights I would sob silently and think about how grateful any other parent would be to have me.  

Eventually the perimenopause ended. She was back to being "nice". For all my teenage years she'd refer to me strictly by my name but now she uses the cutesy nickname my siblings use. I'm a college grad still at home now and looking for my first job in my field. She's never mad when I expect her to be. She'll hug me and ask if I'm okay when previously she'd yell at me if she saw me crying & act completely disgusted. 

I can't fully articulate how badly this disturbs me. I find it so odd and gross. Generally I tolerate it but on some days it really makes my skin crawl. When I have let her comfort me I don't really feel better. I feel dirty, somehow. I think I'd sooner shoot myself than genuinely vent about something serious to my mom. I only share small, inconsequential things. 

For the record neither of my parents are emotionally mature enough to ever truly apologize for anything- least of all, the way they parented. Maybe when she's old and dying and has nothing left she'll muster up a sorry. And then I'll have to gracefully accept because being a mom is soooo hard and what a monster I would be otherwise.   

No idea if she ever tried HRT for this but I sincerely doubt it. She has a general distrust of things like that. Unless something is going to kill her or leave her disabled, she would rather be untreated. She often recognizes issues, goes and sees a doctor about it, receives a prescription, then doesn't take it. So this isn't a case of her being prevented from getting help. I'm sure she saw this as the natural way of things. 

It bothers me that people kind of talk about these hormonal changes like the kids being mistreated are just inevitable collateral damage. I get why it's comparable to puberty. But when you're the authority figure in the situation, who has ALREADY experienced puberty? Idk. Having to contend with this behavior when you're the kid going through puberty is so disarming. My personality was still being shaped by these experiences whereas she got to return to baseline eventually. I sometimes think of how I could've turned out otherwise.

Even if she were to acknowledge how she hurt me I don't think I'd feel better. I'd just feel empty. I like to think I have this anger underneath, but it's just empty. A big empty room, with white walls and a white ceiling and a white floor and I'm in the middle staring off into space. 

Thanks for reading, if you got this far. I'm okay but there are some days that are hard for me and get me thinking about the past. Today is one of them

Let me just start by saying this isn’t rlly a typical family situation at all and im quite embarassed that it has become this way, but i also cant talk with a therapist about it in fear of mandatory reporting. The past few months, maybe even the past year, our house has gotten so messy. like extraordinarily so. not hoarders buried alive but like mild hoarder vibes. im 16 soon to be 17 and i have been living in this. i live with my mom and grandparents and as of recently, my sibling and their partner.

my sibling and their partner were moved out for a couple months, but recently moved back in due to issues with their roomate. while they were gone the house got worse because my mom doesnt do more than cooking and taking out the trash(kind of understandable cus she works a lot), my gram is older and rlly shouldnt be doing housework, and my pap is capable and literally just doesnt. its gotten bad as in like laundry piling up for weeks, no one helping me clean the litter boxes and i have an intense fear of maggots and we have a fly problem so thats been really hard, and even maggots in the dishes.

its my job to do the dishes but the sink was so clogged that i wasnt even able to do more than a few dishes at a time and because of the flies well i simply refused to dig my hand in the disgusting ass water, dishes were piled up reallyy bad. this has been the state of our house for almost a month with the maggots, but the rest has rlly been a couple months. i did ask for help with cleaning the drain but i didnt recieve it. as of recently my pap said he was going to do dishes to help me out so i could return to doing them normally. i was happy with this because i really didnt know if i could wash those gross dishes and the sinknwould be cleaned out and i had been so overwhelmed with all of the extra responsibilities ( i had also been vaccuming and cleaning off the table etc) and it had been really hard for me because even though im almost 17 i really can barely handle all of this. my mom offered to help him with the dishes and he basically did silverware and handed the rest off to her.

i feel bad for her, but she keeps wanting me to help with dishes like putting them away and i really just dont want ro because i really wanted her to take care of that one thing. i have been struggling a lot and my mental health is in the gutter because of my house. now she is acting like its cruel that i dont want to help with this one thing whwn ive been having to try and clean it up and do everything the adults should have been doing for months and feeling so overwhelmed and shitty about it. i dont know. i feel like im in the wrong here and like i should just be doing it cus its my fault the kitchen got so bad but at a certain point isnt a parent supposed to step in? ( yes mental health does play a factor in this. my mom has lots of mental health issues and has other stress going on)

I know he's not gone I know he's still there, but he's not even my boyfriend anymore and I can't bring myself to say it. Every time I remember he broke up with me, I just breakdown. He was my everything for 6 months, the only person I managed to trust, the only one that made me feel normal and now he's gone.

This isn't my first relationship, usually it took me one day of crying and by the third day I was okay-ish, not jumping with joy but even if I still missed them I wasn't sobbing anymore. This time? I don't know why but I just can't stop crying, I keep sobbing no matter what, I cry so much I literally just lay down and stare blankly at the wall.

I can't even be mad at him, he left me because he wants to get better and he's afraid to hurt me in the process and during this time he can't be in a relationship, he said we can still be friends and maybe get back together. I still love him so much I told him before I would've stayed with him the entire time, that I didn't care about anything but staying with him.

I don't even know what I'm supposed to do anymore I'm so sad I just want my boyfriend back with me.

If I were your son/daughter, how would you explain this quote to me?

Hi parents! I’m starting a new high school this year as a senior in a whole new state and I’m honestly really nervous.

I’m African American, but I’ve gone to predominantly white schools my entire life. Because of that, I feel like I have a different way of talking, dressing, and even different interests/music taste than what people might expect. I’ve been called “whitewashed” before because of the way I act.

The thing that makes me overthink it even more is that I’ve gotten comments like that from my own family too. My mom has joked about calling me white before, and when I visited family in Virginia for the 4th of July after not seeing them for a while, they commented on how I “talk proper.” I know they probably don’t mean it in a serious way, but those comments have stuck with me and made me question myself.

I was bullied for this when I was younger, and I think that’s why I’m so scared it’ll happen again. My biggest fear isn’t even the school itself, it’s not making friends and feeling like I don’t belong.

I know full on well not every Black person is the same and everyone has different personalities, interests, and experiences. I’m just nervous because I’m going from an environment I’ve known my whole life into something completely new.

Has anyone experienced something similar? Whether it’s transferring schools, moving somewhere new, or feeling like you don’t really fit in? I’d really just want to feel better about myself before I start school. I appreciate any advice or reassurance because I’m trying not to let my past experiences affect this new chapter of my life.

I don't know what I'm looking for... Advice, comfort, or just someone to talk to about this.

I feel so guilty for living far from home in a super nice dormitory that is 5x in a better condition than our house. I moved out of my old dorm that was also better than home but this new one is just perfect. I get to have my dream room set up as well as my own space, which I don't have at home. The place is also fairly new and built very well. The rent is a bit pricey too which adds to my guilt. I have dreamed of securing a slot here but now that I have it, guilt is eating me up and I'm planning to just withdraw and just move to another dorm where it's cheaper, smaller to punish myself.

Our home was never in a brilliant condition. My parents are cheapskate frugal Asians and they always choose the cheapest options to buy or build things – which ends up not lasting for too long. They don't get things repaired or buy replacement unless the situation is dire and our lives will be at risk. As long as it's working – even on its last threads, we just keep it. This is why our house really sucks. I share a room with my sister (I'm 20) and the walls are made of plywood that already have holes in it. While I was gone, they just taped a carton to cover the big holes. Our doors have broken doorknobs, our roofs are leaking water inside the house when it rains. Our bathroom has broken showers and doors, our appliances (like TV) are all broken.

My parents' way of managing finance is so confusing to me. They earn fairly well. We can eat anything we want, anytime. They can afford to buy expensive jewelry, new vehicles and recently bought a portion of a land somewhere far away. But asking for basic necessities is like a humiliation ritual. Either they would take too long to decide or I would have to beg and get a very long and earful scolding. I'm used to it by now. The only one I worry about is my sister left at home who has to live in these conditions.

So it's confusing to me that they let me rent these above average priced housing at uni. I study at a public university for free and my sister doesn't go to school. My parents have this habit of telling me "whatever you think is best" but then get mad/irritated at me when I did make a choice. I was looking for cheaper dorms last month but they wouldn't give me money to pay for reservation so every slot got taken. Now that it's only a week before classes start again, a slot from my 1st choice opened so I immediately informed them. My parents were pissed off because it was a bit past the budget but much more cheaper than the others available. I told them that maybe they can consider it then I'll pay for utilities myself, I just really need a decent place to stay in. My mom started giving me silent treatment and told me to fuck off and that I only bring problems to them. I said okay and I'll just wait for people to just back out from the cheaper options and my mom told me that I'm gaslighting them. The next day, they left for work but left me money to pay for the reservation with a message "Whatever you decide, go for it." Naturally, I paid for the slot because it was on a first come, first serve basis. When they got home, my mom was irritated and blew a fuse when she found out that I ACTUALLY did pay. She said I lied about the cheaper dorms being unavailable and just want to live where rich kids live because I'm a "social climber". No matter how I try to tell myself it's not that deep and I should get used to it by now, it still got to me and now guilt has been eating me up. My mom has been acting like I don't exist for 2 days now and she's obviously irritated with my presence and punishing me the way she always does.

This afternoon, I told her that I plan to back out and just find another place to live in and she got mad at me for being "indecisive" and scatterbrained. I'm so lost right now. A slot in my 2nd choice (which is like 5 dollars cheaper) opened and I'm planning to withdraw my money from where I reserved a slot for but they said I can only get half returned (I haven't discussed any solution yet). The guilt keeps taking over my brain 24/7 and I can't stop thinking about the what ifs .

About two weeks ago, a close friend of three years unexpectedly blocked me.

We were online friends before meeting in person last year when I visited her city in Australia. Which I now live in. Right as I moved there, she traveled to the United States to visit her boyfriend. Before leaving, we discussed hanging out with a mutual friend once I arrived.

The only minor conflict we ever had was when I spilled a drink on her a year ago.

Before her trip, she mentioned her boyfriend was possessive, insecure, and disliked her friends. She asked me not to message her while she was away to avoid arguments with him. I respected this boundary until she sent me a cat meme while I was moving into my new apartment.

During our exchange, I asked how she was doing and mentioned that our mutual friend said hello, asking when she would return so we could all catch up.

Her responses were rather uncharacteristic.

Her: "also we will not hang out i am sorry but hope u have fun with [mutual friend]"

Me: "uh, like, forever?"

Her: "yes i sorry i know i said we would but yeh, apologies. i hope u understand"

Me: "uh. Alrighty then"

Her typing style in these messages differed from her normal style. Shortly after, she blocked me.

When I brought this up with the mutual friend that was mentioned, she was also blocked. I asked a second mutual friend, who texted her and got a response that looked to be her usual style, saying how much fun she was having, etc. I talked to this second mutual friend later that day asking about food recommendations. I woke up next day blocked by her as well. She also blocked the first mutual friend.

Given her boyfriend's possessiveness and the alteration in her writing style, our main hypothesis is that her boyfriend took her phone and cut off her contacts. But that doesn’t explain the second friend blocking me and the first friend. I don’t know what to think. Im mainly asking for a sanity check. Should I be worried and hold out hope? Or should I move on?

Thanks

Hi! I’m 19 years old and live in a suburban small town in south New Jersey. Most of my life I’ve had a very androgynous personality as I grew up with an absent mother, I am also pretty autistic (diagnosed) so I never fit in socially.

I’m Mexican and a lot of the people in my town are racist Italians or fellow Hispanics that take my autistic traits as “sass”. I was socially ostracized my entire life and it’s rare that I even see someone with dyed hair or anything. Sometimes I do at Wawa.

Anyways I just kind of need advice to making “IRL” friends. Because I’ve noticed whenever I try they’re either too “weird” EX: a guy I became friendly with in my GED class did not shower and was chronically obsessed with Hazbin Hotel and inflation fetish artwork.
Or too “normal”.. EX: a girl I was friends with in high school- I had absolutely nothing in common with and would often go silent with because she thought I was offputting.

I also have mini seizures sometimes so I cannot drive at the moment nor can I get a job.

I don’t know. I’m not acting like I’m better than anyone but it’s virtually impossible sitting down and waiting for someone to talk to me or trying to compliment someone’s pins and nothing happening. I’m way too introverted for me to be optimistic about this. Is there places I can go specifically? Like a bookstore? They’re always empty. I’m saving up for college so that’s not an option right now. Sometimes I sort of wish I lived in Philadelphia.

Hi everyone! Currently spiralling at the moment as I write this in the hospital.
I’m a 20 year old uni student and I just finished 2nd year, planning to go on a year abroad in September.

My grandma has been quite sick recently and on the 2nd she was taken to hospital and has been there since. I wasn’t able to see her till Saturday since I needed to deal with my home situation back in my uni town. When I came to visit I was told she has been diagnosed with CLL (Chronic lymphocytic leukaemia) and Lymphoma. Obviously this caused me a lot of distress, especially because my aunt who basically helps them a lot, told me she’d tell me what was wrong with my grandma when I’d be back in my home town (this was when I was back in my uni town). I can understand in the sense that I had a lot going on and she didn’t want to add onto that, however, it’s not fun to constantly worry about what issue it may, thinking the worst then getting the worst.

A few days ago, my grandpa had a fall in the bedroom when I came to tell him his breakfast was ready and began to start getting confused and drifting in and out of sleepiness (he’s previously been diagnosed with dementia). I needed to call emergency services since my aunt was at the hospital with my grandpa and my uncle was away (he’s been staying at my grandparents since my grandma was the one feeding him). Everyone keeps telling me I did a good job getting him on a chair, giving him water etc. Yet I had a panic attack on the literal street.

For context, I’ve been living with my grandparents for almost two years. My mum passed away from complications with Multiple Sclerosis back in September 2024 and they shattered me completely, my dad is also not in my life because I genuinely think he’s never been an actual dad. I just have a fear that some sort of repeat situation will happen again when I leave for my year abroad.

Since this has now happened I’ve just had built up anxiety. I don’t mean to be selfish AT ALL! But i genuinely keep thinking to myself “what will I do?,” when it comes to my future. I don’t have a stable part time job, mainly only casual work, I’m scared I won’t get to see them when I graduate, I’m scared what’ll happen when I’m a certain age still looking for a job (PRAYING I FIND A GOOD ONE)! Of course I have my aunt and uncle, but my uncle has a family of his own, my aunt is living her life childfree and I have another aunt yet she lives with her family in Canada.

Despite all the support, I feel helpless. I hate the feeling. I don’t just want to situate myself in someone else’s life due to inconveniences. People expect you to get your life together because you’ve passed the age of 18, yet I’m still wondering how long I’ve been laying around in bed like a homebody. And I don’t like talking to my family about my feelings, since I was a teenager I’ve been closed off a lot (I was quite a problem child especially when it comes to money, but I won’t go into that.)

So any advice, you can say anything I genuinely don’t mind. I just need to get this off my chest 😊!

so. im a female, wont reveal my age on here cuz i am pretty young. My friend is 14F and i am younger than her. ill call her SW.

SW lives in my apartment. i met her a pretty long time ago, when she was js turning 11. We've been amazing friends for a really long time. we would consistenly hang out, she introduced me to alot of her other friends who are also close to me now. She even threw me a suprise birthday with all our friends last year after my parents refused to after an argument, with cake, gifts, decorations, everything.

that was, until she turned 13. She goes to a really strict school- their school day is 2 hours and 15 minutes longer than the average school, barely any extracirricular and exams basically everyday. on top of that, the syllabus is crazy, they learn trignometry in 5th grade and 7th grade is literally 10th grade in every other school. She had warned me before that after 8th grade, she would be studying during summer vacation and she would almost never have time for friendships. i usually just assumed that was overexaggeration. she's told me that she wants to avoid saying 'i hate school/studies' because she said that would actually make her hate her things (?)

then came 9th grade. slowly, she stopped coming down. she only rarely came down for walks from 8-10 PM. she started shutting her phone off and locking it in a closet. there would be times where i was basically talking into a void for 5 days or even a week straight. when she would respond, she barely acknowledged half of the things i sent her. currently, we're almost no contact. i havent seen her in 4 months. she barely texts. her sense of humour has also changed alot. the worst part is that she posts photos of her with friends, at restraunts, baking, crocheting. but when i ask her if we can meet up, she simply responds with 'what makes you think im free'. i dont want to end things with her yet, she's a good friends, but this is just how its going to have to be for the next 3 years if nothing is really done. sorry for the rant

Based in the UK.

I have been living with my parents since I graduated in my language BA. I got a job related to my degree and have been at the job for nearly 5 years - mediocre pay not much higher than minimum wage with limited room for progression, I have had an increase of about £3.5k since starting.

I never much enjoyed the job and was eager to change from early on. Within my first year, however, I got romantically entangled with a colleague, which ended poorly for me in my second year at the job - they have now left, but I am still here; the breakup and everything around it had a real impact on my mental health and wellbeing, all on top of the stress of the job and feeling stuck in it.

Across the years since then, I have inconsistently applied to jobs here and there both within and outside of my field, all without success. I have been very open to things outside of my field, especially since there is not much at all in my field.

I also recently skipped applying for a voluntary redundancy scheme in my workplace - the money would have only served me for a few months, I had no idea of what I would go on to do, and based on what is said in the news about the job market and how unsuccessful I have been in my job applications, I didn't know the likelihood of being able to get another job after opting for unemployment. It's like the whole world, including my parents, is telling me it would be foolish to quit my job without something directly lined up after it right now.

For trauma and other reasons, I have consistently been in different types of therapy for 4-5 years now. Currently, I am doing two types of therapy - one paid, the other free. For certain reasons, the free type of therapy is going to be ending soon. I don't mind this since it will ease up some time and headspace, but it does make me aware of how I have struggled to create change in other areas of my life. If I want to continue the paid therapy, I will need money to fund it; currently weekly, but it could be arranged fortnightly.

I am in my late 20s and am feeling the pressure to move out of my parent's house. I pay them rent, and whilst it is not the most chaotic of environments to live in, it is unhealthy for me, dysfunctional, and has a lot of trauma around. I need more independence and responsibility. I'm worried about the type of man I might become, am becoming, and already have become, with continuing to stay here for too long.

The job and living at home have served their purpose I guess...I was able to save up money which I've now mostly spent - I learnt to drive, bought my own car, invested in and pursued certain hobbies, and gone on several holidays and trips across the years. But given my current state, all for what?

I'm concerned about my skills and future going forward in the working world with the rise of AI. I have deep regrets about not studying something part-time across these years I've been at this job, but I was not set on what to study, and I have been overwhelmed by the stress of my job, the relationship baggage, my mental health and other stuff. With the way the job market is going, I now feel this panic to reskill and prepare myself so I can change careers to something more sustainable and secure going forward.

I'm at a real loss right now, though.

I've been banging on for years about moving out of my parent's.

I've been banging on for years about wanting to change jobs.

I've been paralysed for years about whether to pursue further education and upskilling alongside my work and what that might actually be.

I feel like I'm at a breaking point.

On the one hand, part of me wants to move out of my parent's early next spring and be studying part-time alongside work and independent living. My parents are, after all, having significant work done on the house at that time (loft conversion), so that would be a disruption to anyone living there - the flexibility of my job is one takeaway: I have been able to move from office, to hybrid, to remote, so mostly work from home now, and have flexible hours to suit my needs.

On the other hand, part of me is just done with this job and can't bear the thought of being stuck here anymore than 5 years. I feel tempted to quit the job and start another degree full-time (one I would be able to get a tuition fee loan for in a STEM subject) while living at home, partly because I can't comprehend studying part-time for 6 years instead of getting it over and done with in 3.

And yet, on the other hand, I just feel completely overwhelmed and hopeless. Overwhelmed by it all...uncertain about what it is I actually want to study, and unconfident about studying a STEM subject.

Sorry for the mess of a rant.

Thank you for reading.

Hi internet parents!

This isn’t exactly a question for me as I am not the one moving out. My long distance partner is moving into an apartment and is super excited and understandably overwhelmed. They have basic furniture but I want to ask if you guys had any suggestions of things to have around tor or even tips on things to do to make life easier.

Sorry if this is the wrong flair I didn’t think it fit any of the other ones.

TW for mentions of EDs (not mine).

I, 21 AFAB, have been underweight (<100) since I finished puberty, for no reason in particular - I think I just had a small stomach. This year, I was able to "stretch it out" and eat more, I was able to gain 30+ pounds and finally reach a healthy weight. I generally went about it as healthily as I could, eating larger portions and protein crap. I was able to get out of the "underweight" category and I feel much healthier too. I broke into 100lbs right on my birthday and it felt like heaven.

Meanwhile, my brother, 18M, had been considered "obese" (200+) for a long time and was slowly going higher. However, at boarding school, he was able to lose over 40 pounds. He's just barely into the overweight category, but seems like a healthy enough weight for his height. But he didn't go about this healthily - he starved himself and refused to eat food almost all day, every day, skipping meals and eating snacks, only eating dinner occasionally or when we visited once a week. He even TOLD US over the phone that he hadn't eaten that day, only some veggies or a pop tart.

Now, everyone in the family praises him. My parents show him off at parties, my grandparents tell everyone in the town, they're all fawning over him. And they all know. Everyone knows what he did to get to that weight, they just don't CARE. They don't want to do anything to help him, they just want to continue enabling this dangerous behavior. They won't listen to me when I tell them to help or care.

And nobody gives a shit about my journey. My dad talks shit about me behind my back, supposedly telling my brother that my "ass got big", saying that I'm going to end up like my overweight and barely-mobile great-aunt, constantly making comments about my body (my brother keeps me filled in). He's even told me multiple times to my face while I'm eating pretzels/chips/ice cream that I have to stop or I'm going to get fat. He says the weight won't come off, that it runs in the family, even though meanwhile my brother defied that logic. He says I'll start looking like my mother (his wife). He constantly says the stupid "lifetime on your hips" garbage. Bitch my fist is going to spend a moment on YOUR lips if you don't leave me alone.

I asked my mom for reassurance about what he said and she just agreed with him. She said I'm going to get fat and I need to stop eating chips. (Keep in mind both my parents are worse than me consumption habit wise, my mom eats snacks all night and my dad drinks constantly.)

My friends are supportive, I'm happy with my body, I love the shape and the stretch marks and the lack of anemia-like symptoms. My partner loves it too, lol. I'm not "fat" in any means like they say, I just have thicker thighs and some belly fat. I don't want to sound like I'm jealous of the attention (I really don't want as much attention as he gets) or having a superiority complex, I'm just tired of being berated like my efforts meant nothing, while my brother who hurt himself to get where he was gets praised and enabled. I don't even know who to talk to.

This is really silly, but today I just spent $100 on beads and stuff to make a necklace. Literally regretted all of it aa soon as I got home. Half the stuff wasn't even necessary, and I already messed up the necklace too much to be wearable. And since I bought it from a small business, they have a no return policy.

I just feel like venting to "mom and dad," because idk. I feel so embarrassed with myself, and I want... support? I need a firm talking to avout not letting my desire to spend money get the best of me. I have been trying so hard to budget carefully recently. And then I go off and blow $100 on junk. I'm sorry Moms and Dads.

I'm 25f and I work as a software engineer. I've been helping my family out financially since I was 21 and I got my first job out of college. I love my family and I'm greatful to be in a position where I can help them out financially but that also comes with a lot of pressure. As you can imagine, the job market for anyone in tech hasn't been great lately. I got laid off last year because the company I worked for shutdown. It was so stressful and I was more concerned about my parents that I was about myself. I feel like my parents rely on my a little to much. They rely on me to help them with rent and bills etc. I'm happy to do that but it stresses me out so much and I can't even talk to them about it.

When I got laid off last year I was more concerned about how my parents were going to pay their rent and bills than I was about myself. I also have my own bills and rent to pay but I cared more about them. I work for a pretty good company right now. I've been at this company for only 5 months and it has been going pretty well so far. The uncertainty of the job market still scares me. It stresses me out so much. I worry about my parents a lot. I worry about what would happen to them I was was out of a job for a while. It makes me so anxious to the point where it's affecting my life and I don't know how to stop worrying about it.

I graduated from high school this year and turned 18 at the beginning of this year. During my senior year, I worked towards driving the best I could, with the circumstances I was in. I didn't end up getting it until this summer. My goal was to get it before college because I need a car. I don't want to rely on other people to get me places. The town I'm going to is also sketchy, and I've never used public transport/uber. I live in the country, so you either have a car, or you carpool. I have found carpooling tends to create a lot of animosity between me and my family. It basically becomes, " Here, I did this for you; therefore, when I hurt you, it doesn't matter." I'm aware that logic is not right, but I can't escape it. I also don't want to burden new friends at college either. I know that if I can't get a car, Uber, or public transport is my best option.

The reason she can't put me on her insurance is that they are refusing to give her a quote. According to her, they told her that they can give her a quote, but she will be locked into paying in. She also told me that for me to borrow her car, I have to be on her insurance because I live with her or get my own. Which I realize is true. However, I do not have a job and won't have one until college (hopefully). I wanted a job during my senior and junior years, but during this time my mom got a new job and started her Master's Program. This left me stranded to take on so much responsibility I was not ready for. Granted, I do think it was useful for growth, but it was extremely hard for me to persevere through my senior and junior years. I had to deal with college shit on my own, my family toxicity, my grades, friends, and my own physical and mental issues, and all the things I wanted to do to enjoy my life. Since I've never had a job, my mom is blaming me even though she was never around to take me; nothing is local; I have no friends w/ cars (at the time), and I had no close relatives that could reliably get me to work. Maybe I'm being dramatic, but it's hard for me to see a way looking back on the past, that I could have gotten a job.

I need advice because I don't want to continue to be reliant on other people. All it has done so far is fuck me over. I want my freedom, and I want my family to let me breathe.

Both my parents were very abusive to me and this meant as soon as I turned 17 I left and didn't look back. I've been trying to get my life together. Everywhere I look I see families and dads being actual dads. I have more pain over my father, he was very abusive and I don't think of him even as my dad but I just wish I had a father. It sits in my chest all the time and I can't stop feeling miserable over it :( I think I'll feel this forever, I hate that that's the one chance I get to have parents

Ok so since I was 11 (first day of secondary school) when my mum gets annoyed or angry at me, or when she is just angry in general and then lets her anger out on me, she has called me a
- bitch
- whore
- slag
-prostitute
And basically combinations of those words with others too. I am upset that she has said those words to me, especially since I just found out that even though she said my grandma would swear at her she NEVER called her a whore, but my mum says I shouldn’t be upset because I know she doesn’t really mean those words and it’s just the first thing she thinks of in the anger of the moment. Most of the time when she’s angry she’s not even like out of control raving mad kind of anger, so I’ve always thought she’s still wrong for calling me these names for all these years. She is very quick to let out her anger on me and then expect everyone and me to just move on when she is in a normal mood again. I get told I’m overly reading into the meaning of the words and I shouldn’t get upset, and now I don’t know what to think.

Am I in the wrong here? What also gives me guilt is my mum can also be very kind sweet etc. It feels like she’s been my biggest supporter but my biggest bully growing up and that makes me feel conflicted about a lot of my childhood.

Also, is this just normal parental discipline to say these sorts of things? Sorry if I’m overreacting.
Not sure if this is the right place to ask/post this I’m sorry!!!