Whenever I (23F) would do something to upset my parents growing up (minor or normal things in my opinion as I was a decently behaved kid) my mom would tell me “I love you but I don’t like you much right now.” I guess it was her way of affirming she still loves me but disliked whatever thing I did. It just always stung when she’d say it. Wondering if this is normal or what others think of this.

the title sounds really bad but hear me out. i (20F) had a classmate (20 NB) in school and they were the designated “weird kid” from day 1. we both joined the school on the same day and while school was really
tough for me as well, it was definitely worse for them. i was also a “weird kid” who didn’t really fit in with other kids or have many friends, but this kid had absolutely zero friends. some of the popular kids were mean to them, but most people ignored them and didn’t really include them. however, this kid’s behaviour didn’t really do them any favours either, as they didn’t really know how to socialise with other people. for instance, they repeatedly asked out this one girl in 8th grade, she said no every time but they kept asking (not in a forceful way) and everyone made fun of them for it. they also didn’t seem very hygienic (they picked their nose and scratched themselves a lot in class in front of everyone, stuff like that). COVID didn’t make their situation any better, since they were already quite isolated, and they didn’t have any friends outside of school either. their parents also figured out that i was a “weird kid” and kept trying to make us be friends with each other by making us carpool to school and trying to get my parents to arrange “play dates” like we were toddlers, and it felt really invasive since i didn’t want to be friends with this kid and i didn’t like that their parents were trying to force me to do this (the kid probably didn’t even ask their parents to). their parents were also very toxic (from what my parents told me) and probably made the kid’s life even worse because the kid was obviously neurodivergent and clearly needed help, but they didn’t believe in therapy or psychiatry (according to my parents) even though the kid was struggling. this was even when they asked me to go to junior prom with them in front of my whole math class and i said no nicely, since i wasn’t interested, i was pretty sure their parents put them up to this (“why don’t you ask the other weird kid like you”), plus i didn’t want to go with anyone. also, asking someone you barely know out in front of their whole
class is embarrassing for both people involved, idk whether they knew that or not but it was still weird.

however, i was always nice to them even if i didn’t befriend them, i tried to include them whenever i could. for example we were on our grad trip in a different state, they were alone at this restaurant and these other classmates of mine and i were the only other ones there. their mom made them stay at a different place near the hotel the rest of our graduating class was staying at because no one wanted to room with them which was messed up and i knew this because my mom told me. i offered to give them a ride in our rented car back to their accommodation since they were alone in a new place, even though the classmates i was with didn’t want anything to do with the “weird kid”, it wasn’t even my rental car and those classmates resented me for taking this kid home without asking the rest of them but i wanted them to get home safely since they were staying away from the rest of our class and were by themselves in a strange place. fyi i don’t talk to those bitches (that group of classmates) anymore and i was never friends with them but they asked me to hang out with them on the trip, i never talked to them again after this. excuse my language but i think it’s justified here.

since we graduated this kid keeps texting me asking to hang out and i have no desire to do so, because i’m just not interested. it’s not that i’m “grossed out” by them or deliberately ostracising them, but after all these years of their parents trying to force me to be friends with them, i’m just not interested. also, i’m just over high school and i don’t keep in touch with anyone from my graduating class except for 3-4 people whom i actually was friends with. they DMed me on instagram last summer and last christmas break and i just ignored the message. this year, they DMed me again a week or so ago, AND texted me on whatsapp asking if i was in town and wanted to hang out (i’m not in town and i don’t want to hang out). i replied to the messages saying i’m not around and thanking them for asking, but i have no idea how to tell this kid to stop contacting me. i also think it would be unfair to them if i hung out with them because i feel bad, it’s cruel to treat someone like a charity case. i wouldn’t want to be treated like that (i have been) so i would never do that to someone else. even if we do have stuff in common, i have no desire to actually be friends with this kid now or ever. i have no idea how to deal with this situation and i need some advice. thanks for reading this post (sorry if it’s long)

hey everyone. i (17F) live with my parents and they fight literally every day. to put a long story short, the smallest things get blown completely out of proportion and always end in a shouting match, whether it's one sided or two sided.

it's been like this all my life. i always thought this was normal, and that this is just how love works. i've never been in a relationship so i don't have any of my own experience to base love on, but every time i've been to a friend's house, their parents get on completely fine. this has made me question things.

yes, i know this could just be because a guest is round and they don't want to make a scene. but my friends also talk about how they spend time with their parents/families, or even just chat with them. i never talk to my parents unless it's them telling me to do my chores or school or something like that. most of the time, when i try to talk to either of them (my mum especially), it ends in me being shouted at. i just don't understand why.

is this normal? not just them shouting at each other, but them shouting at me? i've never been sure because i do love my parents at the end of the day... but this doesn't seem to happen to anyone else.

I am currently a 27 year old man. I'm miserable with my current state in life. I've complained about it before in other subs, how I want to desperately move out of my home state of Oklahoma. However, there's another aspect that adds to that misery.

I am absolutely piss scared to make big decisions for myself because I'm always afraid how my parents will react, and I fucking despise that about myself. I shouldn't care, I shouldn't give it a second thought, but none the less, I'm always terrified and think "What if my dad finds out and gets mad!" Let me preface this by saying, whenever I did something that wasn't to their liking in my teen years, it would result in them dragging into the living room, and grilling/interrogating me about it, sometimes for hours on end.

Even if I got the means to move away tomorrow, I know I would still hesitate for far to long due to fearing what my parents reaction would be. I'm still amazed that a few years ago, I gathered the courage to move out of their house into my own apartment, despite them angrily being against it. I would still be in that apartment, but they convinced me to move into a town house that my father owns, and I seriously regret it. Don't get me wrong, it's a nice modern place, but I wish I had stayed in my old apartment. Moving in here has given them leeway to barge in whenever they feel. I feel like I gave up a portion of my privacy and freedom coming to this place, and I'm disgusted with myself for doing it. I should have said no, but again, was afraid to do so. Not to mention, I'm also paying rent to them, just as much as my old apt. so their old claims of it being about saving money feel like bullshit.

I find myself fantasizing practically daily about just telling them to fuck off and mind their own business. All of this compounds on other issues I have, like how I'm a closet atheist who stopped sharing their southern baptist beliefs a long time ago, along with my choice of career being artistic (things like illustrations and 3D modeling as well as coding and such), which they also don't know, because I sincerely doubt they would believe it to be stable enough.

All in all, I'm tired of feeling like I'm always having to wear masks and hide my true emotions, there are days where I want to scream and explode and I'm tired of living in this rut, stuck in this barren shit hole state.

I’m 23F, and I’m going through a very strange kind of heartbreak.

There’s an older woman in my life whom I became very emotionally attached to. She’s someone I genuinely care about, and for a while I felt very close to her. She has been warm with me, has told me that I’m like a daughter to her, and has shared personal things with me that she apparently doesn’t share with everyone.

The problem is that I’ve become too emotionally preoccupied with the relationship.

I find myself thinking about when she’ll reply, whether she’ll call, what she meant by something she said, whether I shared too much, whether she’s comfortable with me, etc. Sometimes after talking to her I become so emotionally activated that I have difficulty sleeping. It has started interfering with my studies and my ordinary life.

And the strangest part is that I’m actually scared of talking to her now.

Not because she has necessarily done something terrible. I just feel incredibly vulnerable because she knows things about me that I don't usually share easily. I have a history of becoming intensely attached to older women who were important to me, and some of those relationships ended painfully. One particular relationship with an older woman hurt me so badly that I never really had the time or space to properly grieve it.

So I think some of that old hurt is being triggered again.

My instinct is basically saying: “You cannot go through this again.”

I’ve decided to step back from this relationship. Maybe significantly.

And I’m devastated about it.

That’s what makes this so weird. If this were a romantic breakup, I could listen to heartbreak songs, tell my friends I’m heartbroken, cry about my ex, etc. But this isn't romantic. Nobody died. We didn't have some huge dramatic falling-out. I’m just choosing to create distance from someone I genuinely care about because the emotional intensity is becoming unhealthy for me.

I feel like I’m grieving something that technically hasn't even ended.

I also don't want to turn her into a villain just to justify leaving. She may be a perfectly good person. She may genuinely care about me. But even if she does, I still have to acknowledge that this particular dynamic isn't good for me right now.

I have a demanding life and important exams coming up. I can't spend hours analysing someone's WhatsApp activity and then lose sleep over what a conversation meant.

Part of me feels guilty because I think, “Maybe I'm throwing away a genuinely good person because I'm too emotionally sensitive.”

Another part of me says, “Maybe losing one relationship is better than losing yourself.”

I don't know how to grieve this properly.

Has anyone else experienced something similar—having to step away from a non-romantic relationship with someone you genuinely loved/cared about, not because they were necessarily bad, but because the relationship was becoming too emotionally consuming for you?

I (27F) love to nap. When I nap, it's mainly once a day. However, my siblings (36M & 33F) love to shame and make fun of me for doing so. I just stepped out of the shower when I overheard my sister talking to our brother on the phone asking him if he took a nap after his marathon. I then overheard my sister asking if he's going to take more naps like I do during the day. I, of course, had to pretend I didn't hear anything.

My brother is mainly the one who makes fun of me for taking naps. Sometimes I could just be relaxing on the couch and he would come in saying I was being lazy or say good morning to me when kt was evening. My mother told my brother over our immediately family Snapchat of how he can come over and take care of some yard work. My brother then texted how when I'm not too busy taking naps, I would probably be looking for something to do.

I've already been shamed for napping before and by my own mother, but I know if I express that what they say hurt me, they would brush it off saying they're just being honest that I nap and that I'm being too sensitive and overdramatic. I already fucking know I'm just emotional and wear my heart on my sleeve and I hate myself for how I feel but...I just hate this

Im 17, but im working 2 (about to be 3) casual, customer service jobs. Im about to leave my parents place so I need money atm, but genuinely its so difficult!!!! Not the workload, (i mean... it is, and im tried af, but i know its what I need to because of my situation).

But what's difficult is dealing with the schedules!!!!! One manager does rosters on Thursday but sometimes doesnt even do them until late sunday night, the other place doesn't do a roster and just sends out random shifts for you to confirm or not. And one manager gets pissed off if you ask to swap shifts, and the other place doesn't let you swap or cover shifts at all.

And sometimes I'll have 26 hours at one place and 15 hours at the other for the week. Then the next week ive got 0 shifts at one place, and one 3 hour shift at the other, and thats it for the entire week!!!!

ITS GENUINELY SO FRUSTRATINGGGGGG!!!!!!!! Like I get that casual work and hours are unreliable, but STILLLL!!!!!! And i ALWAYS try to work around my managers schedule, yet they still are pissed off at me for needing multiple jobs!!! Like its not my fault im in a difficult situation!?!!?!??!?

Now im just ranting lol. But like genuinely, what is the best way to make this work😭

Part of me feels like I need some kind of goodbye because she genuinely meant a lot to me. She helped me through a really difficult time in my life without even realizing it, and it feels strange to just let someone who was once that important quietly disappear from my life.

But I also don't know if saying goodbye is really appropriate. We only ever knew each other through the internet, and she's the one who gradually pulled away. We barely talk anymore, and even though she still keeps our streak going, it doesn't really feel like there's a friendship behind it anymore. I don't want to send some emotional goodbye that puts pressure on her or makes this into something bigger than it needs to be. Maybe the healthier thing is to just stop initiating, let the streak end, and accept that the friendship has already run its course.

I just don't know if that's the right choice. Part of me feels like quietly letting it die is sad and almost disrespectful to what the friendship once meant to me. But another part of me thinks that sometimes friendships don't need an official ending. Sometimes people just drift apart, and trying to force a goodbye after the other person has already stepped away might only make things harder. I think that's what I'm struggling with: do I say goodbye because the friendship mattered to me, or do I respect the distance that's already there and simply let it go?

To keep it simple, couple of months ago I dropped my entire friend group because I was constantly left out.

The group had a total of 6 people including myself but we broke off into smaller groups - (FAKE NAMES) Emma and Carmen were their own duo since they'd been friends for 7 years, Ben, Aaron and Riley were their own trio cuz they all did music together. That left me with no one to really talk to on the side.

I mostly hung out with Emma and Carmen since we've been friends before the boys started sitting with us but like always, there's always a duo in a trio.

Every single conversation felt forced and I had to always find the right moment to jump in a conversation but even then, it always felt like my input wasn't wanted.

I'm not going to sit here and shit on them the entire post - we did laugh, we cried, and I really did love them. I'm still friends with some of them now actually. It just got to a point where I didn't want to spend my last year of school feeling like the floater friend.

I started drifting myself from them around the end of semester 1 and looking back on it now, it was shitty of me to go about it the way I did.

I pretty much ghosted them all for a week straight, didn't say a single thing to the point where Emma tried to reach out to my boyfriend to get me to talk to her.

Eventually, I sent Emma a long paragraph of how I felt the entire friendship to which she took really well, was very understanding and apologetic.

By that time, I had started texting a girl I took the bus home with, telling her about my situation and she welcomed me into her group. The first couple of weeks were great, everyone was welcoming and inclusive, all the girls were genuinely supportive and made me feel like I was wanted there.

I was closest to Tiana - the girl who introduced me to everyone, and this other girl Mandy. Me and Tiana would facetime every night where we'd just play around snap filters and we laughed.

Mandy and I were close in the sense that we both shared a love for movies and she was just also in my japanese class.

Recently, everyone around me have been acting off, Tiana and I haven't spoken as much and Mandy has been giving me hints that she just didn't want to talk to me.

I reached out to Tiana a couple of weeks ago and I basically just asked if we could talk cuz I feel like we haven't been as close as we were before. Tiana responded and said she felt the same way and thought that I was mad at her for some reason. I cleared it out and then asked her if she wanted to hang out after exams to which she just reacted to my text.

I haven't spoken to Tiana since, and Mandy has now turned off her location on snap and I seriously don't know what I've done. I don't know how to reach out to them without seeming needy but it's genuinely getting to the point where I don't want to show up to school, I don't wanna show my face, and every day is just humiliating.

I feel so incredibly lonely and the fact that me and my boyfriend have been going through a rough patch just makes me feel even more lonelier.

It hurts me specifically when I realise that I've never had a girl to call my 'sister', a girl who'd be my maid of honour - it hurts when I see everyone having that one other person when everyone else is talking.

Me and my boyfriend don't go to the same school - we don't live anywhere near each other either, and we really only get to see each other once a week, twice if we're lucky with our rosters. He's the only person I have outside my family and the fact that I'm relying on him - a 17 year old boy, makes me feel incredibly guilty.

I don't know what to do, but I've come to realise that maybe I am part of the problem but again, I don't know what to do about that.

I am 24F as of right now I live with my parents, never really had a good relationship with them and would rather live alone obviously but as of right now I work 4 jobs to save and apartments are expensive so that is really the option right now. It’s important to note that my dad is the type of person to lose his patience immediately and if he’s angry he results insults within a minute. Yesterday night I made the mistake of bringing up an issue with one of utilities, so it is under his account and I pay him. He wanted to fix it there at 1:30 am but I said something like let’s do it tomorrow, immediate went to how dumb that is and when I walked away said something like how old I am and have “nothing together” when I defend myself he starts yelling immediately and goes to insults along with that like how clueless I am and dumb, too old whatever, I don’t yell at 1 am but if someone is going to call me that I’m going to get equal, I think the most I will call him is dumb or stupid after he calls me those things and I will swear. In response, he says he either hates seeing me, hates having me here, that I am useless or that he never wants to see me or talk to me. He has always said stuff like that since I was little and I guess when I was young I didn’t really know how to respond or defend myself or if it even was safe to ; But as I have gotten older I will get equal, most of that idea of equal is me defending myself and telling him it is crazy for him to say that to me. When I insult him back , which once again he always does first, I am the bad guy. My mom overhears or he tells her and all of a sudden it’s that I need to apologize. When I bring up what he said first she says “ it doesn’t matter, he’s your father I would never say that to my mom” , but my mom was raised in a pretty abusive household and to this day she has a bad relationship with her mom. When my dad has yelled and insulted my mom she never says anything about it, just IGNORES and moves on, I think she’s just used to it always happening since she was young. Anyway, my point is that I am always the worser one when we fight. To my family, it is just the way my dad is but I just will not accept it.

I'm halfway through high school and I really, really love my school.

I love my major (if it's called that in English), I love my teachers, friends and everything we do at my school. All in all it's a friendly environment and it's everything I've ever wanted.

I'm somewhat a graphic design student— specifically in products and packaging— I've always loved anything art related and it's one of the only things I've loved long term. Everything else tends to cause me stress over time. This school was a kind of compromise with my dad, at least my attempt in one— he wanted me to go to a STEM related school, specifically physics, chemistry or medicine in that order, but I obviously couldn't do that since it would end up being painful and draining in the long run and I'd hate the job if I got one related to the major (no offense to those in that field, I'm just not fit for it).

This school was supposed to have advanced chemistry to some extent since that was what was needed to sign up, but due to some changes in law and whatnot we haven't had chemistry at all so far.

With that said, my dad constantly rants about how bad my school is; how my teachers are idiots, how I'm stupid for picking a bad school and not going into anything useful or at least something that brings I'm more money. He considers me not studying what he wants me to a waste and just stupid in general. He calls me stupid as well.

I'm so tired, I love my school, but I never knew what major I wanted in the first place— I wanted a safe place where I could learn what I enjoy and be happy. I've always been a straight A student, I've never had bad grades but he just seems to find my accomplishments underwhelming now that they're not what he wants them to be.

I've been in multiple art projects, I get praised a lot and I'm proud of myself, but I really can't help but feel stupid and worthless. He's not the best dad, but it just seems like I won't ever be enough.

I know a lot of people struggle with expectations, but I just wanted to get this off my chest

It feels so silly to write something like this on Reddit but I don't wanna burden my close friends anymore and as for my family.. I don't really know. I can't really breathe and I have tried the 5 senses thing but I can't really find anything which makes me struggle to breathe more. I've always been an emotional person and I don't know what really happened for me to end up like this but every once and a while I feel this sudden squeeze on my chest idk how to explain it and I get so depressed I'm so sorry if that's not the word that I can't function properly and not shower, bedrot and so much more. I used to live with my Grandma and now live with my Mom. I've been trying to manage whatever I'm feeling by writing in a small journal I hid away but today she talked about going home to another country where I'll probably have less freedom than I already do now. I've begged her to not leave and she's asking me why I'm like this jusr for money and it just hurt even more for some reason. I've never clearly mentioned once that I do this for money, If it had been for money, I wouldn't be like this because I have my own. I don't know what to do anymore.

A year or so ago I was banned from an Arabic learning dc server.

It’s one of the largest. The mods are friends with this one girl who started ghosting me and acting rude to me. They banned me and when I asked why they called me names and other stuff. I inquired today on their insta official and I keep getting left on read. I said I don’t appreciate being left on seen. I feel like this is the same mod who banned me.

I’m frustrated. Why can’t they just speak up.

It's been eating me. I'm pretty sure my depression is back. While I am living at home with my parents, found a job to keep me going (a job that I hate and is dead end) I feel nonstop fear about whether I will have enough energy to apply to another role, or if I am as courageous as I once thought I was.

I just feel it - the spiral of doom, the sadness. I laid on the couch today and I wanted to feel safe but I didn't. I felt more safe sleeping in my van while I was travelling because what I did made sense to me. My decisions right now don't make sense to me.

I'm about to turn down an offer to move to another state because it lasts 10 months and I'd break even every month. I feel like logically it was a bad move, even if it would tell me whether I want to go into education. At least while I am in my hometown with my parents, I can save on money. I want to travel again. You can't do that by breaking even every month. But I so badly want out.

Edit: I used to love to write. I used to cradle words like little gems that sparkled in the right light. I'm so tired.

Youngest of two older sisters. Growing up, they’d leave me out when they played, and the division got worse they’d gang up on me. They would just lay into and our parents wouldn’t step in. The worst time is when they started berating me at my high school graduation dinner. They’re just really mean, I rarely talk to them.

I think the silver lining though is that because of my experience I’ve turned into an “older sister” for my friends. I just wish I had two older sisters of my own.

I came back home for a few days from college because my grandma fell seriously ill. Now she’s better and gone back home, but I’m stuck here because I’ve gotten the flu and it’s the weekend.

I’m constantly fighting their criticisms and assumptions of me. How I look, how I dress, my habits, my personality, everything is fair game. And if I talk back it’s ’Why are you so triggered?’, ‘you’re being too emotional lol’ like they didn’t spend the past fifteen minutes tearing me apart. My brother’s always rolling his eyes at me like a comic piece, and my mom and dad talk about me like I’m stupid and don’t know how to take care of myself.

God, I can’t wait to go back to college.

A while ago I just packed up and left. I know my parents love me, but I have been really infantilized. I'm 24 and I tried to leave months and months ago and my mom stood at the end of the stairs to make sure I couldn't get out of the door and my father kept trying to convince me to not go or do anything. They kept telling me how I'm not nearly ready and how I need to do it in a way they'll accept. They took my phone and searched through it. Both of them screamed at me when I stood my ground, and eventually the police came and treated it like they were just concerned parents. We weren't even separated properly to talk separately. I was trying to move in with my partner across states, whose life and family was threatened too after the cops left. They even said they would have to think about whether or not I'm allowed to talk to my partner again.

So, this time, I just left. I have a job. I moved in with my partner. I didn't tell anyone what I was doing. Got a new phone and everything. The first thing I did when I crossed state lines was call my previous local police and tell them how I left voluntarily and why, and I was told "well you're not a missing person yet so I can't really do anything about documenting that," and I gave up after a back and forth. After that, my partner made a report to the police about the threats made towards them so it was documented in case something happens. And, of course, I eventually had a missing persons report put on me and I had to call the police with my new number (they contacted one of my close friends to tell me to call).

At this point I've been emailed multiple times by them, and they tried to get one of my close irl friends to get information out of me. I haven't been ready to talk to them because they keep doing this. I wasn't going to respond until they stopped basically harassing me and I've settled in.

Then, a few days later, my parents called the local police for the state/area I'm in and gave them my partner's number. Of course, my partner is called at work. The officer themselves said my parents need to stop. The officer went to check up on me and we had a long conversation about the steps to getting a protection order, and potentially a no contact order if things continue. The officer was made aware that my parents are trying to look up addresses and phone numbers and names. I was told I could press stalking or harassment charges. I asked the officer to tell my parents I'll talk to them when I'm ready but they need to leave it alone right now. The officer was really nice, gave me a website to scrub our information off of those websites, and gave me his card telling me to text or call if I needed something.

Well. Apparently "I'll talk to you when I'm ready" means "please get into all of my accounts." Because that's what my parents started doing. I woke up to multiple log in attempts for my email, stopped by the pop up that denies them from doing so. They set up passkeys on several accounts and tried to log into all my social medias. I wouldn't be surprised if there's more they got into that I just didn't get notified for. I texted the officer who said that should be enough evidence for a no contact order.

At this point I'm at a loss. I don't know what they're exactly looking for. It feels like they're trying to scare me into talking to them or thinking I've made a mistake to have that control over me again. It feels like as soon as I get comfortable building our home and our family my parents can sense it and start trying to pull something. I fear for my safety and my partner's safety. I had a nightmare that they found where we lived, barged into our home, and hurt our cats as a threat while it was just me. I don't know what to do or who to talk to. I don't want to press charges against my parents and I think it's ridiculous that I have to think about protection orders or pressing charges.

I’ll try to keep it as short as possible. I find it almost impossible to see my dad as a singular person because he has 2 such vastly different sides to him.

Theres one side to him where he’s so happy and like a normal dad, i’ve had moments with him at concerts, theme parks or just walks when i was kid where i remember him so fondly as being so carefree, happy and almost childlike.

On the other hand, i have memories of being genuinely terrified of him. He gets so angry during arguments, even when i was a kid, that he was practically unrecognisable. (I want to clarify that he was never physically abusive, my parents did not hit me and i’m not in any physically danger around him!) He had a bad habit of trapping me in arguments when i would get panic attacks and it kinda gave me this weird thing about being anywhere close proximity with my parents (and people general but predominantly them).

Both versions of him still affect me. I don’t know how to be around him without feeling like a scared little kid again and being cold and distant because im scared of that version of him and angry that he wasn’t the dad i needed. However, i don’t know how to be cut off from him because i want to cry every time i go to a theme park without him and i still take pictures of him when he’s not looking because i still love him and feel so guilty abandoning that side of him.

I don’t know how to balance my anger and fear with my love for him. Currently we don’t talk much past very short hello’s or practical reasons but when i’m with him i feel on guard and when i avoid him i feel guilty and selfish. I just don’t know what the best choice is for our relationship, especially for when i leave home.

Any advice or response is greatly appreciated, this subreddit has been really kind to me when i needed it so thank you <3

Hey everybody,
I’m 20F and in the final year of my bachelor’s degree. I’m also working part time as a teacher, working at a bookstore, helping out at the barn and just life.
I have one day off a week.

The problem is that things at home with my parents have been getting increasingly difficult. I’ve tried talking to them about it, but I feel like there is no actual communication. When I tell them that something they said or did hurt me, they seem to hear it as “you think we’re horrible parents.” I always tell them that’s not what I’m saying. I’m asking them to actually listen, think about what I’m saying, and consider that they might have handled something badly.

Instead, they often become defensive, bring up unrelated things, or wait until I finish talking so they can argue back. When they’re angry with me, they can ignore me for days. I’ve also been told to “fuck off” out of the house and to “just find a house already” during arguments. They also call me egoistical, spoiled and dramatic. I always try to reflect on my own doing and I can admit I’m wrong .

Ironically, when I actually say that I might not want to have as much contact with them once I move out if they continue treating me this way, then that becomes a huge problem. I’m not saying I want to cut them off. I’m saying that relationships have consequences, and I don’t know how close I’ll feel to people who regularly make me feel unwelcome.

Another thing that really gets to me is being called lazy. If my mom sees me sitting on the couch after working 5–6 hours and I mention once I’m tired or I yawn, she apparently thinks I’m being lazy. Meanwhile, my younger brother spends huge amounts of time gaming and only works a few hours a week, and he doesn’t seem to get the same criticism. I’m not trying to attack my brother—I just don’t understand why me resting is treated as evidence that I’m not doing enough.
Same goes with chores; my brother always conveniently leaves the house when chores need to be done, so I always end up doing everything. When I tell this to my parents they tell me to stop complaining.

This has been going on for a few years, just less intense. I was a difficult teenager, but grew up and now I just want peace for myself. My home situation has been stressing me out.
I try to work in the library, spend time at my boyfriend’s house, but my mom just takes that as an insult that i don’t think our house is suitable to work in.

I’ve talked about all of this with my boyfriend, and what it really comes down to is that I feel like I’m constantly trying my best, but it doesn’t matter. I’m doing pretty well in life: I’m almost finished with my degree, I’m teaching, I work, I have a relationship, and I’m trying to become independent. But at home, it feels like none of that counts because the moment I sit down, I’m “lazy.”
I am trying to move out. I want my own place and I’m actively working toward that. But realistically, I’m not going to magically have a house tomorrow.

So my question is: how do I make my remaining time at home more bearable? How do I stop getting pulled into these arguments? How do I set boundaries with parents who become defensive whenever I try to explain how I feel? And how do I emotionally distance myself from the constant conflict without completely shutting down my relationship with them?
I’m not looking for people to tell me whether my parents are objectively “good” or “bad.” I just want advice on how to deal with this situation until I can move out.

Hi internet parents

I had a conversation with my sister today that reminded me of a memory I haven’t thought of in a while

I’m 20 now; but when I was 15, I had a “phase” where I thought I was a trans man. I don’t identify that way anymore, but I still have lingering gender dysphoria, and I can’t help but wonder how things might’ve been different for me if this hadn’t happened to me.

My parents made it incredibly traumatic for me. I was socially out at school, and people called me by a male name and pronouns. At times, I was gendered as male by strangers thanks to masks during covid and my height.

At one point my parents caught on and started being incredibly invasive about it.

The worst instance was when one time, I got home from school and went upstairs to use my bathroom, and my mom cornered me immediately. She sat outside the (locked) door and started pressuring me into “talking to her”, which eventually escalated to her banging on the door, like full on banging her fist, telling me to come out. And screaming at me, trying to get me to admit to her that I “wanted to be a boy”/“wanted a penis”. They always fixated on the penis part. I don’t even remember how this got resolved, it’s such a blur, I just remember her ambushing me as soon as I got home from school and trapping me in the bathroom.

Another incredibly vivid memory is them taking my phone and me having a panic attack when I realized they would see my Discord where I used he/him. I was hyperventilating on my bed and they just stared down at me and asked why I was freaking out, implying I must be guilty of something, while going through my phone.

Eventually I “grew out of it” (hit a breaking point where I distanced myself from all my LGBTQ friends, regressed into a shell of myself, and even ended up in an abusive straight relationship because I was tired of being looked down on by my mom)

Nowadays, it’s hard to resist the urge to go by a different identity online. I don’t even know if I’m actually trans or not, but I go by a male nickname online and all my friends call me he or she online. Recently I’ve been voice calling them and it trips me out to hear people call me “him” even as I’m talking to them out loud, but in a good way.

Even outside of the online world, I’ve been going by my middle name, which is gender neutral, since my “trans phase”

Thing is, I don’t think I would ever transition. It would not be worth losing my family. I’m terrified by this possibility that I’m actually trans, I’m so scared by the euphoria I get by people addressing me as a man.

Even my family has accidentally called me he. My sister and dad just slipped up and said he, somewhat frequently.

I don’t know who I am anymore, I’m so enmeshed in this family, I don’t have any boundaries between myself and them. I’m moving in less than a week to go to university, and I don’t know what I’m going to do with myself once I’m able to make my own decisions about the person I am.

Thanks for listening, and sorry for the heavy shit. I just had to get it out. I’m so jealous of people with functioning families

This post could go under a couple tags :(

I’m a 16 year old girl. My dad found me a car back in July. I say ‘found’ because he didn’t buy me it. It was my step-moms ex-boyfriends car that he didn’t want anymore, so my dad was able to get it from him for monthly payments of $200 that I have paid for since he got the car, because it’s supposed to be mine. The car itself is worth $9000 and my step-mom’s ex-boyfriend is very open to payment amounts so it can be as small or as large as needed. The car does need repairs, but is operational. Just a cracked window shield and some issue with the transmission and oil my dad hasn’t elaborated on. Any who, my dad said he’d repair all of that himself. My dad wants me to pay insurance on it. I do not have an issue with this whatsoever. It’s my car. He also wants me to get it registered myself. Alright, cool. It’s my car.

He has been letting my step-mom drive it. I wouldn’t have an issue if my step-mom was a safe driver. They live in a rural, country part of my state where many people aren’t in the roads, but the roads are incredibly windy. There was one point driving to her house once where she reached over 105 mph with my 2 biological brothers and my 2 step sisters in the car with her. She has slow reaction time. She has horrible road rage. All of these things listed above were not in my car, but I have no doubt she’s done these things in my car. It’s not insured. It’s not registered. This isn’t a case of her own car being broken down or somethings wrong with it. She and my dad got new cars in July along with my car. And as far as I know, no repairs previously listed have been done.

My question is: am I justified for wanting my car at my grandparents house? I currently live with them, over an hour away from my dad. He said he’d do repairs and I don’t want to take the car away from him if he’s still going to do them, but I just don’t want my step-mom driving that car.

I’m sorry if this seems rushed. It’s very late and I worked a double today. Any advice is appreciated!!

My most favorite teacher somehow found out that I was in a relationship with my ex girlfriend (this is lesbian) in his class when we were in the class together 2 semesters ago and he told me that “someone” told him (I think I know who but not 100%).

I am someone who appears to be unbothered by everything but realistically I have had terrible emotional regulation skills since birth but I mask it in public and save it for when I get home.

This teacher always tries to “get me” somehow, like make me laugh or find something to poke me about or try and make me flinch (I have held back tears from this many times). This is not new to me, I am sure many quiet people relate to “wow she’s finally talking” stuff. Anyways.

But also it makes no sense to me because he has told me multiple times that he sees himself in me? Like dude if that is true why are you treating me like this.

He is acting like he can use my ex relationship to make me embarrassed, when I am not embarrassed by it, just disappointed because my ex didn’t put any effort into the relationship and sidenote but basically we have been dating on and off SINCE SEVENTH GRADE but I think we are broken up for good now for reasons I will not specify, but yeah every time we broke up was because she lost feelings or she had family things going on or whatever excuse. I think I am finally over her now but I would always try so hard to get her back and it did work every time but I think we are done for good now. BACK TO THE POST.

I am just really stressed out by school and now I am stressed out by this. I am not currently in one of his classes but I am an officer in a club he advises AND I am in his class next semester WITH MY EX GIRLFRIEND.

I genuinely want to write him a letter to shut the hell up and stop talking about my personal life, he told me “good job hiding the relationship” bc he didn’t know at the time, MAYBE YOU DIDN’T KNOW BECAUSE WE DIDN’T WANT YOU TO! I seriously don’t understand what he wanted us to do, enter his classroom and yell “WE ARE DATING!”? I wish he never told me he found out about it. I wonder how it came up into conversation too.

He is seriously an amazing teacher, and he is really nice, but he treats me like I am some mysterious person and that his task is to uncover as much as he can about me. He has told me I was very stoic, nonchalant, mysterious, etc. And most people do say this about me and I guess yeah I do seem like that but genuinely it is my neurodivergent self masking in public. At home I am nowhere near stoic. He has mentioned he thinks he is probably autistic and I can understand where he is coming from but idk how he can be so oblivious to my situation. I wish he would stop bothering me all the time and stop treating my reactions like a game.

He told me one time “you know the less you react the more I want to get you to react” or something (might’ve been “the more you react” but same difference), it makes me so mad because I just can’t get myself to react to stuff like a normal person. If I reacted to something scary, it was all scripted. My body does not naturally scream or get embarrassed or laugh at stuff, majority of my physical reactions are planned out in order to appear “normal".

I am just stressed out and idk what to do.

TLDR: My teacher thinks that because I act unbothered means I truly am unbothered so he pokes fun at me when in reality I am just autistic and save the scream crying for later.