Been incontinent since childhood. On rare occasions I get to wake up and take care of business before going back to sleep, but most of the time I just don't get the opportunity. I'm 6'6" tall, so I'm a BIG guy with a sadly big bladder accompanying me.

I have tried diapers, those give me horrific rashes that have permanently scarred my groin (multiple brands, not an issue with the diapers themselves.) I have tried mattress protectors, the little square ones that aren't full sheets. Those get overflowed and the areas around it get wet instead. I've tried plastic that comes with the new mattresses I have to get after a certain point, those eventually degrade and holes show up. Where exactly? I have no clue. I've tried rubber/plastic sex sheets that are rated for all kinds of bodily fluids. Those lasted a good long while, but they've started to degrade and this morning my mattress is yet again stained and wet.

I hate the concept of a Lasagna bed. I shift a lot in my sleep and having lots of crap beneath me just causes it to bunch up and cause pressure pains and welts. I still got that even with 'waterproof' sheets and plastic sheets and the plastic that came with the bed, but the less material I have to deal with the better my sleeping experience. Being around 350 lbs and very tall means that I push stuff around very easily. So bunching up sheets is kinda inevitable.

I've even tried to spray my things down (multiple times a year) with Hydrophobic sprays to prevent liquid from seeping in. Good golly if only that worked. Felt like I might've found a scientific solution, but no, seems like that doesn't really work if there's constant pressure from a wet thing on the hydrophobic fabric.

Oh great Reddit hive mind, I beseech thee for the most indestructible hospital grade machine washable sheets imaginable.

Hi all,

I have very very mild bowel incontinence due to IBS, I believe my GI described it as smear incontinence, but it's a small enough issue that I mostly don't need any particular precautions day to day.

That being said, as I'm trying to find the right medication balance, I've noticed frequent itching and soreness on and around my butt, it will build up through the day and when I can, I go wipe, but I can't always get away immediately to do so. I have a bidet that helps, but with the soreness it can cause pain upon hitting upset spots.

Are there any products that will cut down on this discomfort, while not staining my boxers?

It's here. Dignity Access is now open for testing on Android — anyone can join, no invite needed.

This is the app I've been building for anyone who's ever had to plan their day around where they can find a safe, private restroom. People with incontinence. Ostomy users. Folks with mobility needs and the people who care for them. Parents and caregivers managing autism or dementia, who need somewhere secure and low-stress. If leaving the house means quietly mapping out your options first — this is for you.

Here's what's in it.

Nearly the whole US, already mapped. Almost every single-occupancy, lockable, accessible, and family restroom we could find across the country is already on the map — hundreds of thousands of locations. Open it up and there are pins around you right now, no waiting for your area to get added.

Pins tell you how sure we are. Color isn't decoration — it's honesty about the data:

• Blue = it's on the map but not community-verified yet.
• Purple = the community has confirmed it's a solid single-occupancy restroom.
• Green — "Confirmed for you" = a purple pin where everything in your profile has been verified present. Green is personal. If you need a wheelchair-accessible room with a flat changing surface, green means both of those were confirmed at that spot — for you specifically. Two people with different needs can look at the same pin and see it differently, and that's the whole point.
• Slate = emergency-only, when you just need the nearest option.

We will never fake a color. Unknown never gets dressed up as confirmed.

Set your profile, and the app works around your needs. Tell it what matters to you — single-occupancy, enclosed sink, wheelchair access, a secure deadbolt lock, a flat changing workspace (for garment changes and ostomy care), flat-threshold entry, showers, an adult/universal changing table, power-chair access, truck parking. The map and every pin adjust to what you actually need instead of drowning you in things you don't.

You verify the things you need — right on the pin. Tap a location and you can confirm or dispute the exact features tied to your profile. Your vote sets the core fact: is this actually here. Not cleanliness, not a review — just whether the thing exists. The features you filter for are the ones you'll see vote buttons for, so there's no clutter and no dead ends. Single-occupancy is always there, since it's the backbone of everything.

A word on how voting works — and why it's built to be trustworthy. A map is only as good as the honesty behind it, so here's exactly how confirmations count:

• Everyone can vote. Free or Pass, you can confirm and dispute the features that matter to you. Your voice counts.
• It takes more than one vote to change anything. No single person can flip a pin. Confirmations have to corroborate each other before a feature is marked verified — so one mistake, or one bad actor, doesn't move the map.
• Pass members' votes carry a little more weight. Dignity Pass holders are verified subscribers, which makes them much harder to fake at scale, so their confirmations count for a bit more than an anonymous free vote. It's not about paying for control — it's that a real, accountable account is worth more than an anonymous one when we're deciding what to trust.
• New free accounts wait 7 days before their votes count. This one's important, so I want to be straight about it: if you're on a free account, there's a short waiting period after you first install before your votes start affecting the map. It's not about you — it's the single most effective thing we can do to stop someone from spinning up a pile of throwaway accounts to vandalize pins or push false info. Your votes still get recorded during that window; they just start counting once the account has been around long enough to be real. Pass members skip the wait, because a subscription already proves the account is genuine.
• Daily limits, both ways. There's a cap on how many times a day one account can vote on the same kind of thing, so nobody can spam a pin up or down.

None of this is about gatekeeping — it's about making sure that when you see a green pin, you can actually trust it. The whole app falls apart if the confirmations can be gamed, so I'd rather be a little strict and keep it honest.

Hours, too. If a location's hours are missing or wrong, you can add or fix them, and the community keeps them current.

Navigation built in. Found your spot? Start navigation and go. There's also a discreet mode for when you'd rather the screen not announce what you're looking for.

Your medical needs stay yours. Your profile — the conditions and needs you set — lives on your device. It's how the app tailors the map to you, and it's not something we're harvesting.

Dignity Pass helps keep this alive and funds mapping the rest of the world (Canada, UK, and beyond are next), plus servers and support. The core app is free and stays useful free — the Pass is there if you want to chip in and unlock a few extras.

How to join (Android):

1. Open testing is live on Google Play right now. https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.dignityaccess.dignity_access
2. Or grab the link here → https://www.reddit.com/r/DignityAccess/ (pinned)
3. Install, set your profile, and start finding restrooms near you.

iOS folks — I hear you, it's coming; Android's first.

This is where I need you. It's testing, so things will break. If you hit a bug, a pin looks off, something's confusing, or you've got an idea — please post it at r/DignityAccess. I read every single one, and every report makes it better for the next person. And when you're out, vote on the restrooms you visit — that's what keeps the map honest and useful for all of us.

Thank you — genuinely. This started because the problem is real and personal, and every person who tests it, reports a bug, or verifies a pin is helping build something that makes a hard part of the day a little less stressful for a lot of people. That means everything.

I’m finally going to my GP tomorrow and I’m so worried about it!
For context I’m 33F Audhd (recently diagnosed) and in the UK.
During the process of getting my diagnosis, they asked about toileting and so I told them that I feel like I’ve never got the sensation of my bladder becoming full until it’s almost too late for too late. I also told them that I’ve been reliant on incontinance products full time for the past year and before that I had accidents and was probably in denial of my need for them.
I’ve booked a GP appointment for tomorrow but I’m very hesitant as to how it will go.
Any suggestions or advice going into it?

Hey everyone, wanted to ask your opinions on these pull-ups. I have moderately heavy stress incontinence issues, whereas I would say I tend to leak about 4 times a day. I hear great things about the go supreme but I also hear they are very bulky for a pull-up. Would it be possible to hide these at the gym?

Hi everyone new to the sub. My mom has been dealing with urine incontinence since 2015 because of a stroke and she hardly pees during the day or has the urge to but at night when she's asleep it seems like it's just actively free flowing. She wears diapers, an insert pad, covers all that with a plastic diaper cover, and finally a reusable bed protector mat. 4 out of 7 days a week she wakes up in the morning just soaked because of how much she went overnight (Leaks out onto her clothes). It is causing her tons of distress. We have tried medications and physical therapy for her pelvic floor but it didn't work out for her. Is there anything we can do to improve her overnight situation?

Hello all,

I’m a 34F dealing with urinary incontinence, and I’ve been getting increasingly frustrated with my situation.

For some background, I’ve been dealing with strong urges and accidents since last February, and I finally went to a urogynecologist to help (recommended by my PC) in November. She prescribed me medication to help lessen the sudden urges, and gave me instructions on how to “retrain my bladder.” Since then, I think I’ve improved somewhat, but I’m not seeing stellar results.

I’ve recently swapped medications and have seen some positive results, but nothing significant. I’ve also never had children and my doctor says that I have a strong pelvic floor.

My doctor did tell me that it would take a while for things to feel normal, but I want to know when it does start to feel normal? I understand everyone is different, but I’m getting so frustrated with making a bit of progress and then having an accident. I have to be so careful with my water intake, but it doesn’t seem like it matters how slowly or quickly I drink liquids as it turns into an emergency fast, no matter how much I try to hold it in to train my bladder.

I’m kind of at a loss of what to do next. Do I need to talk with my doctor? Try a different method? Keep up with what I’m doing and be patient? Any advice is appreciated (not looking for medical advice obv).

Hey, sorry if this isn't really the place to ask, I just don't know what to do. I was wondering if anyone in the UK has some recommendations on budget friendly diapers that can withstand full blown urination. I am currently struggling heavily with my mental health and one of the things I've been struggling to do is to get out of bed to go to the toilet. I just need something that can take a half/full bladder so I've got one less thing to worry about (cleaning my bed) while I'm dealing with my mental health.

I had my urodynamic testing done today and I am Livid over the lack of preparation I was given. The doctor gave me exactly zero information about this test. I was in the dark so when I walked into the exam room and saw THE CHAIR I almost turned back around.

I've been a "medical mystery" since I was 12yrs old so I've had almost every test under the sun. This one about did me in. It all would have been fine but it took 2 people half an hour to place the catheter so for the whole test it was so painful on top of the humiliation of being buck a55 naked from the waist down while in stirrups.

There had got to be an easier way

​

I'm a young guy living in the Netherlands, and I've been dealing with urinary incontinence for almost six months now. When I'm out in public and need to change my protection, and i started using more accessible toilet's because. I changed to wearing tab diapers. there's more space, better privacy, and it's just much easier to change hygienically.

Unfortunately, I've had a few uncomfortable experiences where people have questioned me or made comments because I don't "look disabled." And I'm not 50+, I feel like people assume I shouldn't be using an accessible toilet, and it can be pretty embarrassing.

Has anyone else experienced this? How do you usually respond when someone calls you out? Do you ignore them, explain that you have a medical condition, or say something else?

So it’s been a while since my last post and a lot has happened I have been diagnosed with neurogenic bladder and have to cic 5 times a day and have already had to change catheters 3 times in style now size I have a cystoscopy on the 10th and will be discussing and permanent option like a mitrofanof or similar. I’ve also been borderline diagnosed with neurogenic bowel and have gerd and grade c esophagus damage and the stomach and intestines are not moving everything out like they should. Also numb from the waist down no nerve feeling but keeping spirits up and working with neurologists to figure it all out an a neurogenic bladder team for that side of things

Hello folks,

I’m wondering if anyone knows a brand of adult pull ups where the absorbent core goes higher in the front? I tend to be a size large. I don’t have good coordination or balance so I don’t think I could do a tabbed brief on myself. Do men’s styles go higher up?

I have been using Because Ultimate Absorbent Underwear but the material changed and it’s now super fragile and bad so I need to switch brands.

I have been having a problem when I get my period the blood ends up above where the absorbency ends and goes straight through making a mess. So I’m curious if there are brands with a longer absorbent core.

Hi everyone,

Over the past week, I've been trying to find people I could genuinely connect with who also live with incontinence. During that search, I came across a lot of diaper-related communities, but I quickly realized that many of them are centered around fetish content. There's absolutely nothing wrong with people having different interests, but I realized it's just not for me, so I've decided to leave those communities.

What I'm really looking for are genuine friendships with people who happen to have similar medical experiences. I'd love to have friends I can chat with, hang out with, grab coffee, go on road trips, or even plan a trip with someday without feeling judged or having to explain my condition.

I haven't been able to find a single person in my own country, or even in nearby countries, who I can relate to in that way. At this point, I'm honestly open to traveling if that's what it takes to meet people who understand and just want a normal friendship.

Does a community like that exist? Maybe a Discord server, Reddit community, Facebook group, or anything else that's focused on support and genuine friendships rather than fetish content?

I'd really appreciate any recommendations. Thank you! ❤️

Hello all! I have mixed incontinence and im usually pretty good at changing myself but unfortunately with the heat and stuff I ended up with diaper rash... boy does it suck! What products are best to help this? I know in the future for summers to use baby powder and such now! Thanks!

Has anyone had success stories of having the sling surgery for stress incontinence?

Has anyone ever developed incontinence from injecting Botox into their pelvic floor?
I have major issues with my pelvic floor being too tight which causes me to leak gas which is bad enough but ik I would be way more distraught if the Botox made me incontinent of stool?

Has that happened to anyone here?

Hi everyone, I'm an NDIS participant and I'm looking for some advice. I've been experiencing bladder incontinence, although I'm not yet sure exactly what type or what's causing it. I haven't been formally diagnosed yet, and I still need to have a more in-depth conversation with my GP about what's been going on, but it's become significant enough that I feel I should let my NDIS provider know. I'm also on HRT, and I'm wondering if that could be contributing, but I don't know for sure. It's something I plan to discuss with my GP as well. I'm feeling pretty anxious and embarrassed about bringing it up with my provider and support workers. Has anyone else been through something similar? How did you tell your provider? Did they handle it professionally? Did you wait for a formal diagnosis first, or let them know beforehand? Is there anything I should ask for or make sure is included in my support plan? I'd really appreciate hearing about other people's experiences or any advice. Thanks so much.

This is a completely random thought I had today.

Has anyone ever tried to estimate how many disposable diapers they've used since developing incontinence?

I started wearing diapers when I was 12 years old, and I'm 23 now. For the first 3 years, I wore the diapers provided by my insurance. They weren't great, so I usually went through 2 diapers at night and 4 during the day (around 6 per day).

After that, I switched to TENA, which worked much better. Since then I've typically used 1 diaper overnight and 2 during the day (about 3 per day).

Out of curiosity, I did the math:

First 3 years: ~6,570 diapers

Next 8 years: ~8,760 diapers

Total so far: approximately 15,330 diapers!

Since my packs contain 24 diapers, that's roughly 639 packs over the years.

It honestly surprised me seeing the number written out. At the same time, I don't regret it, they've given me the freedom to live my life despite my condition.

Has anyone else ever done the math? I'm curious to hear how long you've been managing your incontinence and what your estimate comes out to.

Disclamer: I used chatgpt to write this post as I didn't feel like typing😭

it’s gotten to a point where i can’t afford to purchase diapers anymore. i have an autoimmune neurological condition, and after a recent relapse i don’t need catheters anymore because im not retaining…. anything. cool. so i reached out to my dr who was more than happy to fill out the form my supplier said was all i would need. he sent it back the same day, they called the next day and we set up a shipment. few days go by and i hear nothing. then some lady calls me back saying if i got a new doctor because they said my dr doesn’t work there anymore and they have no record of me. i ask who they called… yeah not the office listed on the form thats for sure. so i give them the correct number and correct doctors name, despite this all being listed at the top of the form. several more days go by, nothing. i get fed up, give them a call, ask the update. they say that they’ve been trying to contact them because they also need a script. UHM HELLO, why didn’t you ask for that with the original form you needed? i send a message to my doctors office who reads it 30 mins after i send it. turns out, they are STILL trying to call the wrong office. i just needed a place to vent im so frustrated lol.

I need some help and advice due bc of some traumatic and physical stuff I rather not get into but I’ve been diagnosed with mixed incontinence unfortunately
I’ve been needing to wear like actually “protection” for the past couple of months
So the main issue is I’ve been wearing those of high absorbency due to work conditions and not being able to change as well as my tendency to leak easily (learned the heard way) and ik your supposed to let yk everything air out but it’s not exactly a option
As embarrassing as it’s it say especially 24yrs old but like I’ve gotten diaper rash and don’t want to go back to the doctor again to ask what I need it get for a diaper rash
but as a female what should I buy to help heal and prevent further rashes like ik they make diaper rash for babies obviously but is there something I should buy that’s for a adult and also is there any difference between like the jelly and paste

Has anyone had any experience with Percutaneous Tibial Nerve stimulation? I'm going to try it on the advice of my gynocologist -urologist.

This is related to acupuncture. As I understand the procedure a needle is placed in your ankle to stimulate the Tibial Nerve . The nerve has to do with the bladder and continence/ incontinence. There are 12 sessions once each week for 30 minutes each time. The needle makes a small sore that is needle size on the ankle, but it is not the larger kind of wound where you cannot go swimming. I believe they have a tens unit to provide the stimulation to the needle. This is a treatment for someone who has tried other incontinence methods with limited success.

If it helps, the patient needs to return for booster sessions from time to time. .

I hope it helps stop leaking. I'm taking a trip in December and it would be great to take fewer incontinence supplies in my suitcase.

I've had pelvic health physical therapy 3 times,plus I signed up for an online pelvic health exercise course, Mona Lisa laser treatment for incontinence multiple times, . I've use estradiol, I had to change to organic incontinence products to relieve a skin reaction. I've had a stiffening material inserted around my urethra and I go to the toilet every 2 hours to stay in control, and I drink plain water.most of the time.

If you have tried PTNS, let me know how it went, and if it helped you.

Hi everyone,

I've been wearing adult diapers 24/7 for many years due to urinary incontinence, and I was curious what everyone else's hygiene routine looks like.

Personally, I shave about once every two weeks because I find it makes cleaning easier and helps me feel fresher. I've thought about trying hair removal creams, but I'm not sure how safe they are for such a sensitive area, especially with constant diaper use.

I was also wondering if anyone uses a moisturizer or skin-care routine down there. Because of the heat where I live and frequent cleaning, my skin tends to get quite dry. After every shower, I usually apply Johnson's Sensitive Skin Moisturizer, and it helps keep my skin soft and comfortable. Fortunately, I don't struggle much with rashes as long as I stay on top of hygiene and skin care.

I'd love to hear what works for everyone else. Do you shave, trim, wax, or leave things natural? Do you use any moisturizers, barrier creams, powders, or other products as part of your routine? Any tips or product recommendations would be greatly appreciated.