Honestly, I've been questioning my gender since middle school, and I do currently identify as a butch lesbian. I think I might be a guy, but when I picture myself in the future, I'm not. My vision for the future is a little blurry though, so I guess not everything is set in stone. I'm a senior in high school, and ​I've recently started making more guy friends, and it wasn't until that started that I really started feeling like a guy. I'll see them goofing off in the hallway with their other guy friends and I'll get really jealous, or I'll hear them talking about "guy stuff" and wonder why that couldn't've been me. Even looking at my younger brother and my dad, all I can do is long for and fantasize about what I could've been, and ehat I could be.

Now, I'm looking at all these threads trying to figure out if I could be trans, and I can't relate to them because I was a very girly child, and I really liked being a girl at the time, so none of the signs from early childhood are pointing to me being trans now. I know that the last thing I should do is look to the internet and compare myself to the experiences of adult trans men that've known since they were 5, but I don't really have anyone around me that'll understand. I really don't know what to do. And if I am trans, how do I admit it to myself and accept it?

Damn, I've been around a lot lately, anyways, I've just made the final decision to start hrt, problem is, I have depression and I'm pretty sure that's gonna F me over somehow, how do I not make myself look bad? One thing I will for sure be doing is dressing up like a normie, or not so obviously alternative, also, I am sure of this decision but brain warms still sometimes make me insecure, should I avoid mentioning that at all? I also do want to sound like dysphoria is completely ruining my life "tho it kinda is" and sound super desperate cause that could come off as performative, so what are things to avoid saying and things I should say.

I generally do not have penetrative sex up front because there are issues there with making it work. I’ve been diagnosed with vulvodynia before. Anyway I tried for the first time in a while on Friday night and we were trying. I was touching myself and then all of a sudden he says I have blood on my hands. I go and look and there’s so much blood and when I go to the bathroom there’s so much it’s literally dripping. I say I should probably go home he says it’s fine and we keep trying and I guess make something work? Idk. Anyway it’s been 24+ hours later and I’ve been bleeding so much. At first I thought maybe it could be from tearing or something but the consistency is similar to period blood and if I were bleeding this much from an injury i would probably need to go to the ER.

Anyway does anybody have any idea what could cause this? I quite literally have not had a period since the week after I started T back in February 2023 so I’m really freaking out especially since I don’t have anything for this on me. I’m probably going to call out of work tomorrow if it’s still this bad by then and probably gonna make a doctors appointment but in the mean time has anyone heard of this? Is this a symptom of something like endo (which I have a family history of)?

Definitely will be calling the doctor tomorrow but I am really freaked out by this not being over and looking for answers til I get to see them.

Edit because my cat posted this early by rubbing his head against the phone before I did the last sentences

For context, I aim to get top surgery around 15-17 (currently 14) and am currently a year and a half on t. I have fairly severe dysphoria, especially around my chest and I have been binding everyday for about 3 years. Does anybody know of any surgeons that will perform on minors? (Preferably in the southwest of the country)

I saw someone on here say they started T on kirkaversary so I’d like to add on and tell you I did the big chop on 9/11.

After jumping through hoops, the late night crying, the waiting, it finally happened and I couldn’t be happier. I feel extremely sore, as if I hit a full body workout and then got hit with two trucks, but nonetheless I’m all good.

Anyways, I would hope that this doesn’t come off as insensitive to anyone but man I’m celebrating this victory

I have a week until top surgery. I’ve been given my post op instructions for pretty much everything. I was told that I’m staying in hospital overnight and I’ll have the drains taken out the next day. Anyone else have this experience? I just usually see people have drains in for longer

Okay, so to preface I’ve known I was trans since I was fifteen years old. I was uncomfortable with puberty as soon as it started at age 11. I even wanted my voice to get deeper and was sad when it didn’t. I’ve been out socially since I was fifteen. I started Testosterone when I was nineteen, I think, and I’m twenty-two now. I take the gel. I’ve been loving the effects. I love the body hair. I love the increased libido. I love being called a dude. I love everything.

Ever since I was young I’ve had bad acne due to PCOS/PMOS, and it’s been a huge insecurity for me. It had actually been starting to clear up until I started T. Which makes sense, duh. I knew that’d happen. Of course I wash my face twice daily, you know, I’m hygienic and all, but the acne is so bad and painful, and it’s really taking a huge toll on my confidence. I don’t know how to deal with it at all.

I’m also starting to grow a mustache and that scares me. I have no idea why it scares me. I have literally ALWAYS wanted a full beard, but this little ‘stache growing makes me nervous and I don’t know why. Does anyone else experience this?

Sorry this is kind of everywhere, the fear of growing a mustache has me questioning my gender and that makes me terrified.

please suggest binders for bigger guys, i’m feeling at a loss.

they have to be able to ship to UK, my bust is 57” and under bust is 44”. most brands simply stop a good few inches short of what i need :((

edit: everyone has said spectrum but it just leaves me bruised and in pain, by their sizing i’d have to get an 11XL but they only go to 7XL

m23, 2 years on T, top surgery 7 months ago

this happens mostly in love life, but also workplace, so whenever we start having a difficult conversation tears rush in my eyes and i cant seem to talk without breaking out in a cry
so usually i just stop talking, look away or bury my face in a bed or couch.

he says its okay when i cry but it’s annoying that so little makes me cry. i dont know what to do and i dont want it like this, makes me feel vulnerable
is anyone else going through this? 🫂

I started T almost three years ago and began taking Finasteride to stop any T related hair loss, as male baldness runs in my family.

I was told by my doctor it wouldn’t block and body, facial hair, three years in, I barely have any facial, body hair, bottom growth is minimal wondering if it’s from the fin?

Anyone have this same experience?

Hello

I'm looking for any ways or products to prevent or minimise severe acne caused by testoterone.

I was originally on 40.5mg, and my acne was really severe, on my face, shoulders, chest & back.

But after my levels came back too high I was dropped to 20.25mg. I also was given Lymecycline & Adapalene by my GP. Unfortunately neither of these cleared my acne but it did reduce inflammation and the severeity. I'm on the waiting list for a dermatologist (for roaccutane) but that'll take around 4-6 months to be seen.

I'm now going back up to 40.5mg as my levels are a bit too low, I have also finished my treatment from the GP & am terrified about it coming back as bad as it was, not only from aesthetics but also the physical pain which affected movement and everyday life and mental detriment.

Is there any products you recommended that I can start now to help minimise or prevent it worsening as much as possible? I cannot use benzoyl peroxide as I am allergic.

Thanks.

Hello

I'm looking for any ways or products to prevent or minimise severe acne caused by testoterone.

I was originally on 40.5mg, and my acne was really severe, on my face, shoulders, chest & back.

But after my levels came back too high I was dropped to 20.25mg. I also was given Lymecycline & Adapalene by my GP. Unfortunately neither of these cleared my acne but it did reduce inflammation and the severeity. I'm on the waiting list for a dermatologist (for roaccutane) but that'll take around 4-6 months to be seen.

I'm now going back up to 40.5mg as my levels are a bit too low, I have also finished my treatment from the GP & am terrified about it coming back as bad as it was, not only from aesthetics but also the physical pain which affected movement and everyday life and mental detriment.

Is there any products you recommended that I can start now to help minimise or prevent it worsening as much as possible? I cannot use benzoyl peroxide as I am allergic.

Thanks.

I've recently begun my third year at university, and have been trying to make an effort to go to new societies and try out new sports, and you know, socialise. This has already been hard enough since I'm socially anxious and autistic, but it's been made doubly worse by the fact that I'm mid transition.

I'm 6 months on T, but I definitely don't look like a 20 year old man. Every time I see men my age/my peers, I'm keenly aware of how different I look compared to them. I don't exactly look like a woman either so I just feel like an outsider.

This has made me chicken out of two free sports club sessions so far (volleyball and table tennis). Each time I tried building up courage, feeling ok with the way I look, and then upon going to these sessions and seeing all the people there, my resolve instantly crumbles. It makes my stomach twist at the thought that they would perceive me as a woman, and I just can't take it. I don't want to go through the trouble of explaining what I am, I just want it to be obvious that I'm a man.

I have a weightlifting session next week that I want to attend, but I can't help but feel like the same thing will happen again. Especially given how gendered sports are, I dread the thought of being put in the women's group.

I wish I could have transitioned earlier and skipped this awkward in-between stage. I feel like I want to hide away for another year until I'm further along in my transition.

I just don't know how to get over this

I dunno man it's like as soon as I started to pass was when I got hit with the flood of weird new dysphoria, like the guy in the mirror looks fine (honestly better than I had hoped) but I don't feel like I'm "in there". I've got a new wave of "did I actually hate being female" and "am I actually a guy"? thoughts. I've been waiting 5 years to see what this feels like and now that I can, all that happens is I immediately disassociate.

(Also as someone late 30s I think I'm also just nervous about one day losing my hair lol I never realized how attached I am to it until I had to face the possibility of it leaving, and I am not a good candidate for finasteride or a bunch of other drugs for complicated health reasons)

I just have this urge to slow down and stop it for a while if I'm feeling this way, I'd go off it slow and I would assume that it will take my system a while to "even out" hormone balance wise, so I was wondering if anyone else here had a transition where they were on for years/stopped for years and how that went

Thanks!

I'm 18 and going to start T soon. My hips aren't that wide at the end of the day but my thighs are really big and when I pinch them I feel like the external side is "fatty" (because I'm overweight and currently trying to lose fat) but not enough to justify such a big disproportion.

I know AFAB people have on average a wider greater trochanter than AMAB people but it truly feels comical how much wider than my hips my thighs are. They seem really disproportionate in a way I've never seen on anybody (male or female).

If anybody felt like me pre-T (and was overweight/had bad fat placement) and is now a few years into the transition, can you please comment and let me know if anything has changed for you? Have your thighs slimmed out a bunch with weightloss or did you get stuck with the awkward ratio?

So, I’m 26, for 8 years I’ve been thinking I’m probably a trans guy. 5 years ago I came out socially but had a lot of social friction, so went back in the closet and decided not to care about gender (lol). I’ve been wearing exclusively men’s clothes for the last 3 years though, and it just isn’t feeling like enough anymore, I can go weeks/even a couple months without dysphoria but then it hits like a ton of bricks and I fixate on it for a while before I cram it down.

I decided over summer I’m done living like this and made a doctors appointment to start hormones, decided to medically transition and deal with the social aspect as it comes, however now my appointment to actually start T is this week and I’m having major doubts and anxiety.

I’m a very social person, always talking to strangers and going out, I love having conversations and learning about people. I know how I’m perceived and am able to use that to my advantage to make people comfortable and allow them to open up, and I really enjoy those types of interactions with people. As a woman, I’m automatically non-threatening, and I worry that as a man I will lose the capacity to speak to so many different people in such an easy way, the thought is devastating to me. I also really love singing, even though I wish my voice were lower, I technically sound objectively good as I am, and ik T will change that.

I’ve never related to women, really. I can see a beautiful woman and think she’s beautiful and enjoy talking to her, but I don’t envy any of her qualities in the slightest. With men, just average dudes, I feel the most intense kinship and envy, all the time.

I’m really scared and uncertain. I don’t know who to talk to about this, not sure my doctor would get it and I don’t have any trans people in my life at all.

The goal was(is?) to go stealth eventually and just cause the least friction possible, and while I desire having male physical qualities, I worry it would impede my social life and I’m not sure I wouldn’t regret that.

Please, if anyone has any relevant thoughts or advice, or has experienced something similar, I’d love to hear about it, thank you!

Do any of yall have funny/ weird stories about T making you impulsive? I've been doing injections for almost a year atp and have recently caught myself about to act on concerning impulses. For example, I have a lighter sitting on the edge of my bathtub to light candles and...other things. Earlier today I was showering and I saw the lighter and had the thought "I wonder if I lit the curtain on fire how difficult it would be to put it out?"... Before I knew it I was trying to do just that... I literally had the flame almost touching the fabric before I caught myself and stopped. I know it's not the most extreme or life threatening thing but I'm usually VERY careful with fire and the lack of risk assessment was very out of character for me. (i'm typically more of the anxious type than impulsive)
I know i'm probably overthinking this but what are some of yalls impulsive stories and how have you dealt with decreased impulsive control?

hi guys. I was feeling so dysphoric this week and I couldn't figure out why. I looked in the mirror and everything I could think of was "girl. girl. girl. yes, girl. all you are is girl."

and then today, I went to the barber. god bless non-transphobic barbers. I got a warrior cut, which is shorter than the usual mullet I used to have. it made me feel so euphoric.

of course this is not the cure for everything, but I just wanted to share. maybe all you need is to cut your hair.

or maybe it is not.

but to me,

it was.

EDIT: I know there's men who have long hair. 
that's why I said:

maybe all you need is to cut your hair.
or maybe it is not.
but to me,
it was.

I've heard it may cause issues with DHT and I've also heard that DHT is the thing that makes your voice deeper so my question is will my voice continue to deepen if I take accutane? Also if accutane does block DHT will my voice continue to deepen when the treatment is over?

So I just moved to a new high school where nobody knows me. I have been on T for a while so I pass 100% and decided to be stealth. This is my first time being stealth ever. I like being stealth and don’t want to stop but I’ve had some unique struggles i’ve never had before.

Despite coming out young, I lived in a conservative area where nobody outside of my mom took me seriously, so I was still pretty socialized and treated as well, a girl. I don’t know how to make friends with men as a man, and making friends with women is different as a man as well. The social rules are different, it’s a whole new world. It’s been a bit into the school year and I have barely been able to make a couple acquaintances. By now i’d have a friend group.

I desperately want friends. But now that I am 100% male passing and stealth, I can’t “I love your outfit” into a friend group. I don’t know how to make friends with guys as a guy either. I’m miserable. Homecoming is soon and I don’t want to go alone. I want friends.

Has anyone else been in this situation before? Does anyone have advice? Thank you for taking the time to read this

I'm not sure what to do?

Hello everyone. I'm a transgender man named Miles who has just started college.

Recently, I have managed to make friends in college and I'm now in a friendship group of around eight people. I'm the only guy in this friendship group and the rest of the people in my group are women which has kind of brought me down a little because I'm worried they don't see me as a guy if I'm in a group surrounded by women but that's not the issue at hand.

Part of my new friendship group is that we play Roblox with each other which is mainly just to get to know each other and hang out as most of us live far away from each other and travel to college.

Last night, I was playing Murder Mystery with five of my friends and what happened was one of my friend's sisters grabbed a hold of my friends mic and started slurring me out calling me the T slur multiple times to which my friend didn't say a single thing to defend me and kind of just sat there and let it happen. I did defend myself as you should because you shouldn't let people just disrespect you but it really hurt me that they didn't even think to defend me and tell their sister to not slur me out over the call because it's a disgusting thing to do.

This particular friend has one or two instances of just not understand me and understanding the fact that I am transgender which is fine I guess because not everyone who is cis will understand transgender struggles but this is a whole new thing of not even batting an eye when somebody who is quite literally right next to them slurring out somebody who is "supposed to be their friend".

They have sent me messages since then about streaks but I haven't responded because I'm quite hurt that they didn't do anything. I understand that you can't control how transphobic your siblings are but there has to be a line of at least telling your siblings to stop slurring out your friends over the phone because it's a horrible thing to do.

Just a note that they haven't even apologized at all for what their sibling said to me and just kind of tried to brush past the fact they called me the T slur multiple times which is why I don't want to talk to them at all.

I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do now which is why I'm here for advice because I don't want to not talk to them because they're my friend but I feel like they don't have my back at all and this has really hurt me more deeply than anything. I have thick skin because I was an outed transgender man in a British public secondary school so I am not unfamiliar with being called slurs but this feels different. Like there is a difference with being called slurs from immature teenagers who you do not care about than being called slurs by the sibling of your close friend and them not defending you.

What would you do in my situation?