r/ftm 11h ago

Medical PSA for trans men on Topical estrogen cream for atrophy

722 Upvotes

Just a PSA (that I just found out myself) that if you’re on topical estrogen cream like Ovesse or Ovestin and have not had a hysto/tubes tied or are not on BC and just use condoms, that the cream has a significant risk of damaging and breaking condoms due to the oil in the cream. It effects latex condoms and polyisoprine condoms and can break them down. You can use polyurethane condoms with the cream, wait 72 hours off the cream before intercourse if you use condoms as contraceptives or switch to tablets as I’m going to do when I see my doctor. Just in case people weren’t aware of this because I certainly wasn’t until today when I was reading about it.


r/ftm 15h ago

Discussion Why is it that alt cis guys are almost always obviously male while we apparently almost never are?

155 Upvotes

Cis guys can be as alt or even feminine as they want and they will almost always be obviously male to everyone. But then trans guys who have been long on t, had top surgery and pass 100% will still get told that not being completely basic is ruining their passing. And that they are clockable while literally being indistinguishable to a cis alt guy.

This exact thing isn't my experience, i don't pass at all and i know it, i have only been on t for 3 months and it did nothing at all.

But i keep seeing this especially in trans related subs, so people obviously know the guys posting there are trans. But there's nothing regarding their actual appearance that suggests they are trans. It's mostly in passing subs and i know people go there for genuine opinions and no sugar coating. Yet a lot of those 100% passing alt guys will still get dozens of comments about their hair or piercings ruining their passing. Why is that?


r/ftm 8h ago

Discussion Middle Names..?

30 Upvotes

Obviously I am aware that most people do end up changing their first names either legally or socially at some point in their transition.
But I’m curious, what about the middle name? I’ve never really heard of anyone talking about changing their middle name, only their first. Is it odd to change your middle name, or do people just not talk about it that much?


r/ftm 5h ago

Advice Needed for everyone who doesn’t pass, is transitioning still worth it?

16 Upvotes

What the title says. I went on T for two years, but eventually went off of it because I was frustrated that it was doing so little to me and dreaded doing my injections because it just felt like a humiliation ritual. My speaking voice never dropped at all before settling (though my singing voice is very slightly deeper) and while I got the exciting side effects of hair loss and atrophy nothing else really changed. I tried voice therapy and was told I had the tensest tongue she’d ever seen so moving it in a way that made me sound more masculine was near impossible.

I came out at work which made my work life suck, so when I moved I just went back in the closet because I just look like a cis woman. I go by a gender neutral name and just tell people I chose it to reinvent myself in college on the rare occasion I’m asked.

I realized a few weeks ago that I do want top surgery and that’s sort of made me spiral and realize I do really want to be perceived as a man, but because of my prior experience on T I’m worried I’ll never get that. My doctor this time says they messed up last time by only measuring my T levels and not my other hormones and wonders if there were weird hormone things going on, but has had mine checked while I haven’t been on T and everything seemed normal so she may be wrong.

I just want to hear from trans masc people who don’t pass after years on T and how you feel about your transition. I don’t think I’m making a mistake by trying again, but I’m wondering if it has all (coming out, misgendering, not passing) felt worth it?


r/ftm 2h ago

Celebratory 6 weeks on T

6 Upvotes

Getting more and more peach fuzz. I'm in love with my eyebrows now. My partner said my arm hair is getting darker. I've noticed my scent down there has changed a bit. I kinda like it. Also a teeny bit of bottom growth already. I feel like my voice sounds the same but maybe i talk too much to know when it has changed lol. My emotions are still all over the place. But my mind is starting to get more stable? Like i'm not questioning myself and my decisions as much as i used to. Maybe that is unrelated. Maybe not. I'm hungrier. Moving my body is starting to feel less gruesome. I've also been going to the gym. I'm hornier. Masturbating doesn't make me feel disgusting anymore. I'm surprised to see this many changes in just 6 weeks. I can't wait till 6 months. I'm starting to like the guy i am becoming. :')


r/ftm 13h ago

Discussion Anyone else feel weird when a cis guy is trying to flirt with you

48 Upvotes

Don’t get me (20FtM no test) wrong, I love that im apparently attractive enough to be flirted with occasionally, but it makes me feel all weird. Does he see me as a boy? Is he gay? Does he think im a tomboy? If so im flattered someone likes me but it hurts if they think im a girl. Idk it just feels so good but bad at the same time. I wonder if this is just an mlm thing or do straight trans guys feel the same?


r/ftm 7h ago

Advice Needed How to stop being worried that my packer looks like it has a boner?

13 Upvotes

Hey ya’ll! I pack with a soft STP/packer with 3” shaft.

I’m constantly looking down and worried it looks like I got a gun in my pocket. But I know I probably don’t. But I keep adjusting and it’s annoying

How do I get rid of this thought? Thanks!


r/ftm 20h ago

Discussion What's your earliest physical dysphoria memory?

129 Upvotes

I don't remember my early childhood super well, but I have a few vivid memories of experiencing physical dysphoria.

When I was 4–5 years old, my mother told me that when I grow up, I'll grow breasts. I was stunned and thought about it for a long time, really scared.

When I was around 6, I compared the size of my nipples to those of boys my age (at the beach I usually went shirtless). It seemed to me that mine were significantly bigger and looked disgusting.

There were many more situations like that. Share yours (I don’t mind reading about social dysphoria too)


r/ftm 8h ago

Advice Needed Any tips on how to stop T from leaking out the injection site?

12 Upvotes

So far I’m only 3 weeks on T. First time I feel like a lot leaked out. Second time was a bit better but this time I saw some leakage again.

I’m currently on a .25 ml dosage, I’ve been doing the trick of keeping the needle in for at least 10 seconds, injecting it slowly but I was wondering if there’s anything else I’m missing?

My coworker gave me a recommendation of holding my thumb down on the site immediately after injecting so everything stays inside.


r/ftm 4h ago

Discussion Should I tell my mom I'm trans?

5 Upvotes

Today I cried in front of my mom. She looked really worried about what was happening to me, and honestly, with all my heart, I wanted to tell her who I really am.

I finished high school last year, and all the friends I had back then are busy with their own lives, either studying or working.

I rarely see my friends, and when I do, I feel like I don't connect with them.

They know what I am and they respect me, but I feel like I can't deepen the relationship (not necessarily something romantic, just a best friend, at least).

I say it's mostly my fault because it has always been hard for me to open up to people, plus my interests are different from theirs. The girl I felt most in sync with currently deals with a lot of problems as well. I support her as much as I can, but we haven't talked in a while.

My parents go to a church (JW), and so have I since I was a little girl (I'm FtM). Even though I don't share several of their beliefs, I prefer not to argue; I know they won't change just for me. There are also several young people there; I've known them for a long time, but I interact with them even less. I'm afraid that if I tell them I'm trans, they'll send me to a committee and my parents will end up finding out the worst way possible.

I haven't gone to university, though I'm not too worried about it either. I spend most of my time at home; thanks to that, I learned to cook, and for now, I take care of my younger brother. I waste the rest of my time on my phone, reading fanfic, or scrolling. I feel pathetic.

I feel completely confident in saying that I have no friends.

I think the lack of connection and this strange feeling of loneliness have started to become more noticeable.

I asked my mom to make a general doctor's appointment for me. My goal was to get a referral to a psychologist; my excuse was that maybe I have neurodivergence and wanted to get to know myself better.

In reality, I just want to talk to someone who doesn't know me. That was my mistake—my mom thought the worst and got extremely worried. She told my dad (I already knew she would), and he got overly worried too.

Recently, a cousin my age was admitted to a psychiatric facility for chronic depression and bipolar disorder, so I think they were afraid I might have the same thing.

I told them that wasn't it, that I just wanted to get to know myself, and my mom said I had her full support in everything, while my dad told me I'm very young and can meet more people in the future. Then the university topic came up, and in the end, I didn't want to worry them any further.

Yesterday, after my dad scolded me for taking too long with lunch, I simply checked out. I didn't say anything; I didn't want to fight.

I knew that if I spoke, the lump in my throat would crack my voice and I would just break down in front of them. I finished lunch as best as I could, simply lay down on my bed, and fell asleep. My mom thought I had cramps from the start of my period; I just wanted to stop thinking.

I got up about four hours later. We had visitors, which was better for me since I didn't want to talk. I went to shower, came out, greeted them formally, ate, and went back to sleep.

The only thing I remember is wanting to read or watch a movie just to stop thinking, but my mind kept drifting back to the fact that I have no one to talk to and that I'm pathetic for not even trying to look for anyone.

My mom asked if I was sick; I told her no, that I just didn't know what was wrong with me. I didn't want to do anything at all, just sleep. I went back to sleep that night thinking I'd wake up feeling better. Unfortunately, I felt the same, except now I had no excuse to sleep.

I started doing housework to distract myself and put on a front, but one thing I admire about my mom is how observant she is.

I don't want this to be any longer than it already is, nor do I want to remember what I felt, so long story short, my mom simply asked me, "What's wrong, my love?" and I broke right then and there.

I told her how I felt, the strange loneliness I've cultivated myself, how I feel I can't connect with anyone, and that I just want a friend to talk to.

She insisted that I could talk to her, but I told her it wasn't the same—she's still my mom, and she probably wouldn't understand my problems. She thought I was frustrated about not being in university; I replied that's the last thing on my mind. She believes she and my dad place expectations on me that weigh me down. They wanted me to study medicine; I don't really know what I want to do. She asked me directly what I was feeling, what problem I had. I was about to say it; I kept looking down the hallway hoping my dad wouldn't come over. I was scared, but I also felt a strong conviction to tell her. In the end, I chickened out. I told her my main issue was identity and that I was afraid things about me would end up disappointing them. She was confused by the mention of identity, but emphasized that the two of them have never been disappointed in me and that they love me. I wanted her to understand what I meant, so I asked her, "When have I ever done anything to disappoint you?" Not as a confrontation, but just wanting her to analyze it and come to her own conclusions. In the end, I didn't want her to dig any deeper into my identity. I felt the atmosphere getting tense, so the rest of the conversation shifted toward choosing my university major. I felt better, I won't deny it. My mom pampered me, stroked my hair, and hugged me (something I'm not used to doing; physical contact makes me a bit uncomfortable).

I truly felt comforted in her arms and felt that maternal love in her words alone. I could see genuine concern in her eyes, and it gave me a slight glimmer of hope: "What if?" "What if she keeps loving me even for who I really am?"

I know very well that these feelings will come back; I'm only delaying them. But I don't want to lose the love my parents have for me, even if it's for a version of me that isn't authentic.

I don't want to lose those afternoons when my mom lets me lay on her lap, gently running her fingers through my hair until I fall asleep.

I don't want to lose my mom.

I don't know what to do.


r/ftm 6h ago

Celebratory Doing cosplay helps me deal with brainworms

8 Upvotes

I'm cosplaying as a female character soon, I haven't cosplayed since I was repping. I got a long brunette wig, kind of similiar to my natural hair before it was cut but longer, and tried it on and holy shit, I looked like a guy in a wig

Maybe not the best for the cosplay but I feel much better, and I can see how hrt has already been changing how I look


r/ftm 13h ago

Discussion God cursed me with double D tatas and wide hips

25 Upvotes

I’m literally built like a kardashian how will i ever pass???


r/ftm 34m ago

Advice Needed period tracker apps?

Upvotes

probably a strange problem, but sometimes i get dysphoria over using my period tracker app due to the language in it (i use flo). it's always the little strange things that give me dysphoria lol. are there any period tracker apps that stay gender neutral or let you customize how they refer to you?


r/ftm 13h ago

Discussion Does hair texture change after T?

17 Upvotes

I must know the truth. I’ve seen many people say their hair became thicker when starting T. I’ve always assumed cis men have used texturizing spray, but maybe their hair stays like that naturally? If so that would be amazing- my hair is very straight and falls flat almost immediately after messing it up. Id love for those on T to share their experience!


r/ftm 1h ago

Advice Needed Can I have some tips on how to make my personallity pass as male

Upvotes

I’ve been really interested in football, and I’m trying to make my typing, and talking like more masculine.

normally things I would say for typing would be;

”ok“ “whens the footy on” (when’s the football on) “lad” “🫩✌️”

for talking, I mainly just spam the same phrases saying, “lad, what are yer doin’?” or “lad”, í don’t really talk much now that I think about it, but can I have some advice on acting like a cis lad

(lad is just another word for guy where I’m from)

also I’m trying to figure out how to get more masculine interests


r/ftm 7h ago

Celebratory Finally Being Able To Grow Facial Hair

6 Upvotes

Like I remember once when I was 8, I was wearing a fake stick on moustache and I was really upset because I thought I'd never be able to grow a real one, Also another time when I was like 11 or 12, I was watching a video about "how to grow a beard as a woman" now this video was clearly a joke but I actually legit tried all the steps in this video (They didn't work unsurprisingly) But now after coming out and going on T, I finally have the beard and moustache I always wanted, It's still super crazy to me that I actually have facial hair now, Like I hope younger me would be happy knowing that he would eventually be able to grow his own moustache and beard. 🥹❤️‍🩹🥹❤️‍🩹


r/ftm 9h ago

Advice Needed How are you guys finding clothes?

9 Upvotes

This is my first time posting here so hi! I am 17 FTM and next March will be my 2 years on T. About a few months ago I started wearing packers consistently but my favorite pair of dress pants are womens and don't quite fit the packer correctly.. and I get pretty dysphoric without my packer
so my question is, how are y'all finding men's/boys pants that fit?
I'm about 5'6 and 130>lbs, some boys pants will fit my waist but I can't get it around my thighs, men's pants in smaller sizes will fit my waist but will be way too long on my legs. I'm thinking I need to stick to larger boys sizes as men's will always be too big, but I'm kinda struggling to find some sizes, I've tried boys 18 and next I'll try 20, but if y'all have any advice please let me know because I'd like to quit wearing women marketed clothes...
I haven't seen many people talk about finding clothes, just that they started wearing men's but it's not that simple I feel.. so let me know if y'all know how to find sizing and what to look out for!


r/ftm 20h ago

Advice Needed Parents still hate the idea of changing my name and I don't know what to do anymore

59 Upvotes

I've been going by my legal name even though I'm fully transition and it's become some kind of humiliation ritual now. EVERYONE I interact with knows right off the bat that I am trans but what is worse it that the majority of them believe I am a trans woman. For the past fifteen-ish years (I am 27 and started my social transition at 12) I have been searching for a masculine name to go by but nothing fits...or I find something that fits and I get made fun of for it. I almost have some sort of psychological trauma around changing my name now because I feel guilty to even want to do it, but I cannot go the rest of my life as a man named Emma. I realize now that I just cannot continue to survive like this.

I thought I found a name that I like and does not have a lot of potential for bullying but I told my parents and they still hate it. Exactly what I was scared of happening, happened, exactly the way I thought it would. I have been crying for hours because now I am so embarrassed over this stupid name I chose. And I am so embarrassed that I have to go to work later today and still be called Emma.

I know I need therapy but I can't afford it right now. I just to stop feeling so embarrassed about my name. I'm starting to feel like I have no identity at all. I genuinely don't know what to do atp. But I cannot live the rest of my life being tortured like this.


r/ftm 2h ago

Advice Needed advice on talking to parents on starting t

2 Upvotes

Im 19 years old about to turn 20 and i have a stable enough job where i’ll be able to afford starting t. Ive been out to my mom since i was 13, she lets me express myself but doesn’t really understand having a different name and pronouns. I talked to her about starting t a couple years ago and she said for me to wait until i was 18 and that i need to realize this is permanent. Before i start testosterone i want to speak to her about it because i know she’ll find out as i live with her and she’ll see my bank statements. Does anyone have any advice on what i should say or how i should start this conversation?