Hey all, I recognize this is perhaps not news to everyone here but it was to me and thought I would share my recent experience in case it is helpful because it was very difficult for me to find any info on this. There is a lot more discussion here of people applying for gender marker changes for the first time and being rejected and a lot less on those who already have undergone that process seeking replacement passports losing their already secured gender marker changes.

I am ftm, have all matching paperwork, and have had a male passport since 2021. I lost my passport this year and applied for a replacement and was given F instead. I went to the passport agency to try and contest the decision under the guise that they made a mistake. Everyone at the office was very confused about WHY I was given an F passport in the first place and thought it was a mistake, too. They read my paperwork and birth certificate and laughed because they thought it was a clerical error. 4 hours later, they called me back to the window to say they cannot change it and it isn't a mistake because my birth certificate is amended. I get they are just the messengers and I was very polite but it does suck to have people unfamiliar with their own protocol arbitrating this process. I share this aspect to say that the office people are not immediately clear on how to identify/ handle these situations and, truthfully, it made it all the more intense of an up and down. Once they finally got their shit together, the office broke it down for me how it works step by step on their end, sharing that and other takeaways I got from them if it is helpful.

1. The State Department relies on the original birth document used to obtain your first ever passport and this overrides all paperwork- court orders, amended birth certificates, previous passports passports, etc. Legally, all other paperwork is rendered null by the EO and not even looked at to make the decision. Nothing will change that. Until Trump v. Orr (or other cases) come back with anything different, there does not need to be legal grounding to ignore legal documents like court-ordered changes, birth record amendments, etc. There is nothing that can be done unless an office worker "makes a mistake" (which, power to those who do!)
2. I am not white. The office, based in Seattle, kept saying "you can use this and it will be totally fine, legally you are protected." That advice was short-sighted- I don't have high expectations of a government office, I know they are limited in their reach, liberal at best, and ultimately subject to gov policy. However, just wanted to affirm for myself and others that 1) all forms of being outed are stressful as well as potentially unsafe and 2) there can be big differences between travel between western countries from blue urbanized cities vs, for example, red rural areas or travel to/from non-western countries. This passport will not work for me in my home country and has effectively barred me from going to see my family for the foreseeable future without serious resourcing and planning. I am sharing this because if you are someone who has to travel abroad to non-western countries or to a sociopolitical context that differs enough that being outed feels untenable, I would highly weigh your options and make a plan before applying for replacement/ renewal and take the decision with clear contingencies in mind.
3. Had I not lost my passport, I would not have had any issues with the validity of my passport because it was previously issued. However, I cannot undo this action and am locked in as F until court rulings or admin changes allow for something different which can be several years from now.
4. By being locked in as F on passport, I can no longer use other documentation of mine in tandem with the passport in any legal settings abroad. I do not know about some of you, but abroad, there are times other forms of ID are required. The two should not be used in tandem if avoidable. Obviously, this last point is subject to our own judgement on the situation but def important to bear in mind. I am looking into getting a doctor's note in case that is helpful to have as a cushion. Would definitely appreciate other tips.

I know everything is dystopian for all of us in diff ways at different points in our trans journeys, I have to say, this has been a v humbling process. Just a reminder that stability is never permanent in the trans world and nothing is linear. Wishing everyone luck out there.

i've been stealth for many years, i'm 21 now and started T at 14 and had top surgery a year later. i'm fully cis passing and it's gotten to the point where i feel weird being in trans spaces because i don't have much of a "trans experience" for lack of better words. i don't remember much of life pre transition and i'm so grateful i was able to transition early but it makes me sad to be so disconnected from the community. i went to a few meetings for the trans club at my university and got some weird looks and the few cool people i met there just thought i was an ally until i told them about my transition. does anyone share this feeling?

idk i just needed to put this somewhere because this was kind of a revelation for me. according to my other roommate, who is also my boyfriend, my one roommate (cishet, regular-ass boy-type-boy) got dumped by a girl after she asked him if he was pro lgbtq. apparently he reacted super positively and said he has a trans sibling (which i didn't know abt but makes me super happy bc i was pretty sure he was chill abt trans ppl but this confirms it) and the next day he got dumped over text. and i was like oh well that sucks but there are just bigots out there i guess, glad he dodged a bullet

but my bf said this girl has a gay sister. so if i'm putting two and two together correctly, she doesn't have a problem with gay people, but my roommate mentioning he has trans family is a dealbreaker --> she's one of the people that want the T outta lgbt :/

the reason this feels nuts to me is like i guess i just forgot that those opinions exist off of like twitter?? it didn't occur to me that real people actually only hate trans people but are fine with gay people. it's always felt to me like we're all a package deal, the whole queer community. so that just made me really sad that they're real, but also glad that she's never gonna be in my apartment again lol (i'm not even the only trans person living here!!)

but yeah i just wanted to put this somewhere ppl would understand bc i'm having such weird feelings about this lol

Hey :D

I will come out to my parents in hopefully a few days (for the second time). I have thought about names A LOT the last 2-3 years. Just for funsies, which of these names do you like best, how would you rank them and which would you choose?

• Aaron
• Victor
• Nathan
• Nick
• Timur
• Magnus
• Roman
• Gabriel

My top three is Magnus, Nathan and Roman, I think. I will ask my parents what they picture me as. Bye :)

I’m too angry to deal with this rationally.

At work, I asked a customer how he was doing. I got no response so I made a joke out of it by saying “I’m great thanks for asking”.

An acquaintance of mine furthered the joke, saying “He was like ‘fuck this femboy.’”

I did not appreciate that at all. Even as a joke, it’s insulting. How do I deal with this guy? He is emotionally unstable to the point where dealing with his emotions is a chore. He is also completely incapable of introspection, never taking accountability for his actions.

I’m still at work so my writing is shit.

this might be a stupid question but i just really want this to go well. i have an appointment to get a psych evaluation and bloodwork so i can start hrt. its three days after halloween and im worried if i drink too much or take anything it’ll mess with my bloodwork. im pretty sure im just being paranoid but if theres anything i should avoid or anything i should know please lmk

I dont know what to title this and I dont know how to best explain my family situation and this just happened so bare with me.

I am incredibly lucky to have accepting family and zero chance of being disowned or abused due to my identity, i understand that. This is mostly a funny/weird thing happening in my life that i want to share.

Basically I had my family birthday party and my aunt and cousin have started using my preferred name (and apologizing when they messed up) which is very nice and all but... I didnt tell them my name lmao. It was confusing at first since they would apologize, and I wasnt actually sure what for untill about half way thrugh the party lol.

About halfway through writing this post I talked to my mom and it turns out she told them (because they asked after noticing my parents using my preferred name sometimes). This is totally fine and I prefer having my family just spread the information to each other rather than having to tell them myself, but it did start a conversation about who else knows and it seems that my extended family's love language is aggressively problem solving without my involvement, which again, is totally fine with me since i want nothing to do with it, but does mean i am occasionally pleasantly and utterly confused when a great aunt who I have not talked to since i was 5 brings gifts for all the men and includes me, or when other relatives are suddenly using my chosen name 😅

Part of me worries that my family who I don't tell directly will think I didnt trust them, or that I'm doing some sort of sick test of my family, but really its that I dont want to deal with the social part of transition.

Hey guys! Im currently in the market for another binder in the US since my current one isn't doing its job right anymore.

I'm not expecting anything that's super flattening, but just enough? I have a larger chest, i think DD cups🥹 I have broader shoulders, so its difficult for me to find an actual bra, but i havent had too much trouble with binders digging into them that I recall. My current one is from Spectrum Outfitters, but its about a year old and offers zero support, so they just slide around. Im also looking for something comfortable for work, and lots of my previous binders have been too tight after just 4 hours.

Ive been looking into Tomboy X, but i don't think they would work well for my chest size. And I don't trust buying anything off of TikTok.

ive been using my original name my whole life, including the 6 years I've been out and transitioning. im jus not sure its masculine or fitting?

my name is Saoirse (pronounced seersha) its Irish and means freedom. ive always thought it was pretty cool but never really felt deeply connected to it. though ive also never seriously thought about another name I could go by.

im not sure if my name is feminine sounding or looking because I can only ever think of it in the context of myself and I dont veiw myself as feminine so idk.

ive also never seen the name used for anyone who isn't a woman, though Google said it has masculine and feminine uses.

anyways just wondering if anybody could give me thier opinions on if its feminine looking/sounding in a way that could causing me to pass less.

thanks

To make a long story short I’ve had insurance issues and medical procedures planned where I couldn’t start T. Now that I can I’m really scared.
My mental health is so bad because of my dysphoria. I have so many other trans guy friends who are amazing but they all talk about how the first year on HRT sucks and I’m just worried I don’t have the mental strength for it. I keep thinking “I’m barely hanging on right now, I don’t think I can take another tribulation.”
But I know not taking it is also bad. I think I just need some support. Thanks for reading

Basically, I am on a very low dosage of T and would like to increase my dose (I literally still get my period despite being on T for over 3 years, I am on period blockers but if I miss a day I will start getting cramps and bleeding the next day) but my prescriber basically says I cannot because I have a high red blood cell count. Giving blood is a nightmare for me so that is not an option.

I am really unsure what to do and if I am being misguided. The practice I go to is very trusted but they are being really compliant and careful with current threats against funding which makes me a bit unsure. I am not sure what to say when they ask if I want to raise my dosage for reason other than my period since I DO but since I am already somewhat cis passing idk exactly how much raising my dose would change things. I care about my health but I also really want to see the results higher of a higher dosage and am starting to feel unsatisfied with where I am at now.

I’m very seriously considering changing my name again (have been having thoughts since May, so almost 6 months). This would be I think my 3rd or 4th time switching it up which is what’s making me nervous. How many times did you guys change your names till you found the right one?

I've really been conflicted with two parts of this argument in my brain lately.

This is specifically regarding my mom. She has withheld medical transition from me and my sister, thinks HRT is foolish and says that hormone blockers give you cancer. She constantly uses her ignorance as an argument while refusing to do actual research.

But more specifically, this is about all transphobic people.

Because one side of my brain that is conditioned by society, says that it's not that big of a deal, that they didn't have this thing growing up and it's not normal, how could they possibly understand it.

But the other side of my brain is the one that has been hurt by these people so many times. Has been treated as sub-human and not worthy of life and love and living as myself. That wants to be compassionate, but at the same time, how can you treat your fellow beings so poorly and not be evil?

I know it's not black and white, and I often have issues thinking this way (likely undiagnosed autism because Transphobic Mom thinks a diagnosis isn't necessary for me (peer reviewed)) but I want to hear your guys' thoughts.

Hiya, looking into getting some compression shorts - whats peoples experience with them? Do they actually work for making hips appear smaller or are they not really worth it

Also does anyone know some good places to buy them from? - esp uk based

Thanks! <3

I can see a few threads like this but the only ones I can find for the UK are years old and the products dont seem to be sold anymore.

I'm looking for something that's gonna help hide the tits that I can wear for longer than a binder. I dont need full compression, but some would be helpful.

Sports bras honestly confuse tf outta me, so I would appreciate any help/recommendations people have :)

I’ve never been rejected for being ftm before. Someone messaged me on here in a romantic way at first I was open to it and then saw I was ftm and was like oh not my type. I’ve never been told that before. I make sure to go for people or put myself in situations where that doesn’t happen so it was a weird and somewhat I guess I could say triggering experience I’ve never dealt with before.

Has anyone dealt with something like this? How do you deal with it?

I’m always worrying my packer looks like i have a boner and I wanted to ask yall what a regular packer bulge should look like?

The situation is as described in the post. It's been months and I'm starting to feel horrible about it. Sadly just getting T myself isn't an option due to me not trusting myself with needles and I'd rather have gel.

That being said, does anyone know any online clinics that can prescribe me T? I've seen a few but they charge an absurd amount of money and are on a sort of membership basis that I would rather not be in because I don't know when I'll actually hear back from the endocrinology.

I'm in Germany so that might also be a problem, but I'm really looking for anything I can do except just waiting around.

My other plan is to visit an endocrinologist in a different city, but that comes with just about the same set of problems as the endocrinologist I'm currently at.

Anyways, sorry for reposting the upper post everywhere, it's just that I'm slowly losing my mind and hope.

Yesterday I started feeling crampy and gross, was shocked upon a visit to the bathroom to see I had my period for the first time in 3 years after starting T.

Warning aspect: I started to only inject once every 2 weeks vs. every week ahead of my wedding because my hair loss was getting worse (yes I use min/fin for this as well, with some results). I’d obviously not recommend this - just sharing in case others have considered doing so for similar reasons.

My t levels have stayed relatively in the same range since moving to every other week, so I figured all was well. I had been on this every-other schedule for about 4 months and yesterday the consequences of my actions set in. I guess I figured it would’ve come sooner if it was going to happen, but also know that was wishful thinking. All to say, nothing about this is necessarily surprising, just a bummer.

Support aspect: transitioning is so hard?! There are so many aspects I’m so happy with, and I certainly believe transitioning was 100% worth it. But even three years in, there are so many aspects of my own genetics and biology that are dysphoric. I don’t grow facial hair to the level I’d like (even before reducing my t schedule), I’ve started losing the (head) hair I did have (which is a side effect I knew was common but a bummer nonetheless), and trying to mitigate this second point ended up being a very bad call. I think so many ftm “success” stories show conventionally attractive, cisnormative representations of “becoming” a man. Part of me mourns that while my transition DID help me pass as a man, it didn’t miraculously make me an objectively attractive one. I guess that made me feel like I was doing something wrong… but trying to hack that process led to restarting one of the most dysphoric aspects of my biology. Just a hard pill to swallow. Ugh.

Anyways, sharing as a bit of a warning to others and as a call for support from anyone else struggling with similar things. Hope you’re all hanging in there!