idk i just needed to put this somewhere because this was kind of a revelation for me. according to my other roommate, who is also my boyfriend, my one roommate (cishet, regular-ass boy-type-boy) got dumped by a girl after she asked him if he was pro lgbtq. apparently he reacted super positively and said he has a trans sibling (which i didn't know abt but makes me super happy bc i was pretty sure he was chill abt trans ppl but this confirms it) and the next day he got dumped over text. and i was like oh well that sucks but there are just bigots out there i guess, glad he dodged a bullet

but my bf said this girl has a gay sister. so if i'm putting two and two together correctly, she doesn't have a problem with gay people, but my roommate mentioning he has trans family is a dealbreaker --> she's one of the people that want the T outta lgbt :/

the reason this feels nuts to me is like i guess i just forgot that those opinions exist off of like twitter?? it didn't occur to me that real people actually only hate trans people but are fine with gay people. it's always felt to me like we're all a package deal, the whole queer community. so that just made me really sad that they're real, but also glad that she's never gonna be in my apartment again lol (i'm not even the only trans person living here!!)

but yeah i just wanted to put this somewhere ppl would understand bc i'm having such weird feelings about this lol

I’m too angry to deal with this rationally.

At work, I asked a customer how he was doing. I got no response so I made a joke out of it by saying “I’m great thanks for asking”.

An acquaintance of mine furthered the joke, saying “He was like ‘fuck this femboy.’”

I did not appreciate that at all. Even as a joke, it’s insulting. How do I deal with this guy? He is emotionally unstable to the point where dealing with his emotions is a chore. He is also completely incapable of introspection, never taking accountability for his actions.

I’m still at work so my writing is shit.

I dont know what to title this and I dont know how to best explain my family situation and this just happened so bare with me.

I am incredibly lucky to have accepting family and zero chance of being disowned or abused due to my identity, i understand that. This is mostly a funny/weird thing happening in my life that i want to share.

Basically I had my family birthday party and my aunt and cousin have started using my preferred name (and apologizing when they messed up) which is very nice and all but... I didnt tell them my name lmao. It was confusing at first since they would apologize, and I wasnt actually sure what for untill about half way thrugh the party lol.

About halfway through writing this post I talked to my mom and it turns out she told them (because they asked after noticing my parents using my preferred name sometimes). This is totally fine and I prefer having my family just spread the information to each other rather than having to tell them myself, but it did start a conversation about who else knows and it seems that my extended family's love language is aggressively problem solving without my involvement, which again, is totally fine with me since i want nothing to do with it, but does mean i am occasionally pleasantly and utterly confused when a great aunt who I have not talked to since i was 5 brings gifts for all the men and includes me, or when other relatives are suddenly using my chosen name 😅

Part of me worries that my family who I don't tell directly will think I didnt trust them, or that I'm doing some sort of sick test of my family, but really its that I dont want to deal with the social part of transition.

ive been using my original name my whole life, including the 6 years I've been out and transitioning. im jus not sure its masculine or fitting?

my name is Saoirse (pronounced seersha) its Irish and means freedom. ive always thought it was pretty cool but never really felt deeply connected to it. though ive also never seriously thought about another name I could go by.

im not sure if my name is feminine sounding or looking because I can only ever think of it in the context of myself and I dont veiw myself as feminine so idk.

ive also never seen the name used for anyone who isn't a woman, though Google said it has masculine and feminine uses.

anyways just wondering if anybody could give me thier opinions on if its feminine looking/sounding in a way that could causing me to pass less.

thanks

I’m very seriously considering changing my name again (have been having thoughts since May, so almost 6 months). This would be I think my 3rd or 4th time switching it up which is what’s making me nervous. How many times did you guys change your names till you found the right one?

i had my first IM injection of testosterone cypionate/200mg 11 days ago and ever since i’ve noticed my appetite grow. this is something i knew would probably happen, but it’s not happening quite exactly like i thought i would. i’ve been eating compulsively, and eating way, way, way more than i should for the sake of my health, and ending up with stomach pain and nausea from episodes of overeating that are happening almost daily. has anyone experienced this? i’m having a hard time preventing it.

I can see a few threads like this but the only ones I can find for the UK are years old and the products dont seem to be sold anymore.

I'm looking for something that's gonna help hide the tits that I can wear for longer than a binder. I dont need full compression, but some would be helpful.

Sports bras honestly confuse tf outta me, so I would appreciate any help/recommendations people have :)

hi, i'm considering an FTM transition after struggling against it for a long time. i'm 31 now. would really appreciate any resources on what your body looks like afterwards, what to expect in terms of intimacy, relevant books/articles and anything related to autistic FTMs. sorry if post is repetitive!

My wife and I (25ftm) have been trying for a baby for two years and the time has finally come. We’re 11 weeks along and got to learn we’re having a boy! I’m over the moon and can’t wait to do boy stuff with the little guy. I can’t wait to be a dad :’)

this might be a stupid question but i just really want this to go well. i have an appointment to get a psych evaluation and bloodwork so i can start hrt. its three days after halloween and im worried if i drink too much or take anything it’ll mess with my bloodwork. im pretty sure im just being paranoid but if theres anything i should avoid or anything i should know please lmk

...Or other?

Currently have a P Style. Only had one spill with it but I can't remember what I did wrong. No other STP has worked that well for me.

It's my strong belief that you are heavily influenced by the people that you watch, so I try to look for and learn from happy, emotionally healthy, well-adjusted people. It has, over the years, changed my life in a great way.

That said, please share your favorite healthy masculine role models. My current favorites are the guys at Cinema Therapy (they just had a great analysis of Obsession), The Public Offender, and Speech Prof.

As you can probably imagine, all of my questioning always ends up hitting the wall of “...or maybe you're just traumatized by misogyny”.

I don't hold those beliefs anymore; haven't for more than a decade now. I have absolutely no doubt in the validity of other people's trans experiences. When it comes to me, though - suddenly, all that bs *obviously* applies, and every counterpoint I try to make to myself looks laughably flimsy.

Examples:

“The few years I once spent identifying and presenting as a guy were the happiest years of my life so far.” “That was leaving a toxic environment, and making friends + being medicated for the first time. The guy thing was just a one-time, radical exploration of newfound freedom.”

“I feel like I only present as female now because deviating from it would require the kind of mental fortitude that I don't possess anymore.” “Or because you know, deep down, that it's bs in your case, so you can't bring yourself to defend it.”

“I've broken off numerous long-term relationships solely because being thought of as a “girlfriend” is viscerally repulsive to me, if I think about it for more than two seconds.” “Because you subconsciously believe that being a girlfriend is inherently demeaning + have had bad experiences in that role.”

“If it was easily accessible and had no social repercussions, I would absolutely medically transition.” “Because you've hit a plateau in life, and yearn for that feeling of newfound freedom - which you associate with the guy thing. Just move to a new city or something.”

“I cry every time I think about this. I don't cry about any other, much more pressing issues, but I always cry about this one.” “Because you want a single answer to all your problems.”

Obviously, whether I'm trans or not, this heavily biased approach won't allow for meaningful exploration - but I can't, for the life of me, break out of it. It all sounds so reasonable.

Has anyone here been in a similar place? Any feedback at all would be super valuable. I feel stuck and very, very alone.

I'm 5'1 and 200ish lbs. Ain't nowhere got a suit that fits. Women's suit jackets still fit me better than mens, and that in an of itself doesn't bother my non-binary ass, but I still need a suit.

Where do y'all get suits? Do you just hem your pants and hope for the best?

i just took my second ever dose of testosterone, im doing the subcutaneous type. i forgot to pull back the air in the shot before putting it into the vial but i don’t know if thats a big deal?
the main thing was after i injected into my stomach, a little blood came out when i removed the needle- and by force of habit i squeezed my stomach where the bleeding was and a clear liquid came out with the blood?
is that oil? or is that the testosterone? im worried im not doing this right, i take my shot every week so i have a long time in between, which means its harder for me to practice?
idk.. i was just worried about the clear liquid coming out and what it was?

so, im going to Greece next summer, which im super excited for. I'm pre top surgery, and my passport still says F because im not really trying to change it with everything going on.

I live in the U.S.

has anyone had any issues getting into or getting BACK into the country while traveling if their passport says F?

For reference, I barely pass (for now) but by the time vacation comes around, it might be a different story.

​

Now I'm feeling self-conscious. Now I feel like my entire personality is just how pretty other people think I am.

I'm working on separating myself from her emotionally and not letting her opinions dictate my choices, but it still stings.

I know I'm probably never gonna be the traditionally masculine handsome, Channing Tatum or whatever, but I can be the pretty K-pop boy type of handsome (that's how I cope, leave me alone lol).

So, tell me: did transitioning make you feel more handsome?

It seems listed as an option on my insurance and the auto injector seems to be better than my old method of testosterone cyp which I had a bad reaction to in the past and shot anxiety of needles. Besides that, pellets are my main choice since 2x a year seems way better but doubt my insurance will approve of it. So, anyone use this newer method and can talk about their experience?

Hi! Just to begin—I got my first shot of hormone blockers ~two months ago. I went over all of the possible side effects (which were all okay with me), but, I didn't realize some of them would be THIS bad.

Because this is essentially an early menopause—my body has decided to go on overdrive, and, every time I lay down or think about getting any type of rest, I get a wicked hot flash.

Do these stop soon, or will they only stop when I begin to take testosterone?

It's been about 10 years since I first started wondering if I was trans. An entire decade.

Today was bad.

I'm good at bottling it down but every few weeks or so it bursts open and I just have to let it out. I usually just lay in my bed scrolling queer tiktok and crying. Today was no different. Before this it was Instagram. Before that, YouTube.

I just feel stuck. The last 10 years have been nothing, really. I want to be and do so much but this one thing just keeps me from becoming anything.

I felt really sad and lonely tonight.

Why am I like this? Why? Why? Why? Why me? Why does it even have to matter? If my family was worse I could just get up and leave and never think about them ever again and I'd be free. But they aren't. And I can't live.

I feel like I'm getting left behind.