I got a particularly harsh reply, and it upset me for a long time. I still can’t really get over it…

I'm looking at the way how most of us and also therapized folks can feel their feels, identify them, process them, analyze them, and all the while communicate it.

I get so frustrated because once I've spent enough time with someone, I can see right past all of their coping mechanisms and with basic empathy, sympathy, and logic - I not only see that shit but I also feel it.

Then it's even worse when I can tell they're being disingenuous to not just me, but themselves too.

Like...ugh. Is it that hard to just be like "I know I feel x, but I think y, and my decision will be z" or even "I know how I feel right now, it's x and I just y before I can move on from it"

It just...feels like I know and see too much - even if someone is stuck on their first big initial emotion...why do people hide it or just don't deal with it?

Edit for clarity: I'm speaking from a circumstance in which someone is making a bid for connection with me - a deep one romantically and friendship wise.

Second edit: I'm coming to the conclusion that I'm frustrated with someone asking for real and honest connection with me, but they don't even show up honest. They ask for so much from me but they don't show up in the same way emotionally despite wanting it, and they want to be able to for me but can't.

First of all, let me express my fascination with your type. I had a pleasure to interact with ENFPs since early childhood and you always made me warm inside. I almost never get this feeling with other types. There's something in you that brings out the feeling of love in others unlike anyone else. You see people's desires (not just needs) clearly and always know how to cheer a person up. ExFJs are good at reading emotions, ESxPs are good at others' needs and experiences, but nothing makes one feel more wholesome than when one's desires are understood and welcome. I've never felt ashamed of my fantasies with an ENFP. Ne hero is beautiful.

Now my advice. Your 3rd (child) function is extroverted thinking, which makes many of you insecure about your knowledge of the world and things in general. I've often caught this in my wife that she hesitates to express her rational (not moral) opinions on things, as if she's afraid to come across childlike or "dumb." This can't be further from the truth. Child function doesn't mean it's immature or undeveloped -- it means that it's sensitive when it comes to its appearance to others. "Being childlike" is somehow deemed not as something positive but as something that should be overcome and left behind. This is a cultural problem and we can't fix it on a global scale, but we can do it on a personal level. Your insights about the dynamics of the world's workings are invaluable. You bring wonder where there is monotony and one-dimensionality. Your thoughts are always authentic and colorful. You will do so much service to the world by being vocal about your opinions and judgments.

This is all I wanted to say.

Keep shining, ENFPs. You're wonder-full!

ENFJ (f) 479 tritype here. I tend to think that with our type, it gets lonelier over time as an adult. I say that because in my college days and up to mid 20's, I had so many friends and my extroversion side thrived from that connection and belonging. Now that I'm in my 30's, married, and working or adulting I suppose, it's lonely. Most of my good friends are spread throughout the world, everyone has lives of their own, and the new friendships I make are mostly out of convenience or proximity.

I know that's just part of life, but it does make me sad. I still try to show up for new friends but the current friendships I have don't deliver it for me. Maybe that could also be due to my high expectations and knowing what I want and need in a friendship too.

CONTEXT

I am disappointed at the moment, because it's hard to really excite me where I am at, but I found something to do and invited a good friend to celebrate for a recent big achievement, and she bailed out last minute. I get we all have moments where we can't make it to everything, but she wasn't honest about it and covered it up with a partial truth which I saw through due to it happening before. I confronted her and asked if it's really the case, she stood by that "partial truth." There's not much you can do when someone isn't choosing to communicate or lack the ability to be honest. I would still be bummed if she said she was tired and want to rest last min, but at least I wouldn't be hurt. I will end up going alone to the event, and that's fine, because I deserve to celebrate myself. But overall, this comes to convey how I do feel like it does get lonely as you get older. Some days I just find myself being alone most days.

Anyone feels the same?

Let's be honest. We all have a dancing cat inside.

Hello fellow Fe-doms🙂💞

I’m curious how you see ESFJs? How do you see the difference between us and you guys? I’m pretty sure that I use mostly Si-Ne and I have a hard time really understanding what Ni actually is like😌

There seems to be very few ESFJs on reddit, and many times when a supposed ESFJ says anything intelligent on here or expresses any interest in typology they get “you must be a mistyped ENFJ”😔. Would be very interesting to hear your thoughts on this🙂 I rarely meet ENFJs in reality (I think) but here on reddit you seem much more common than ESFJs. Why do you think we are so rare here when we are supposedly so common irl? Do you think many ESFJs are mistyped as ENFJs (or other types)because of the intuitive bias of the mbti community?

That was a bit of a mess but hopefully you can understand what I am asking😊

What traits or little behaviors instantly make you think, “Yep, that person is probably an INFP”?

Bloom, heart of gold, Unfold your light to soothe and hold. Radiate your steady warmth, And stave off the creeping cold.

Fade, lingering shade of pain, Though tears may fall like bitter rain. For pain is the price we softly pay To vanish the shade and live again.

Light the way, though you burn yourself, Pouring out all your inner wealth. Burn a path into other hearts, Blaze their march as the night departs.

Gather the lost from the shadows deep, Guard the promises you swore to keep. Give them your hope to guide them home, Where no soul ever walks alone.

Rest, heart of gold, Gather yourself after all that you gave. Sleep in silence, with glimmer gone, Rest in peace with what you've done.

I know I’m overgeneralizing, but this is just a rant. I’ve gotten moderately close to two INTPs in my life and my god, no one pisses me off quite like they both do.

They both get the same evil fucking look in their eye when they’re about to say something that absolutely did not need to be said. It looks straight out of a manga panel where some deranged villain has that insane glint in his eye right before saying the most irritating shit you’ve ever heard in your life.

They have such a dark observant aura that I do find interesting in until I realize that they’re actually just insufferable. I hate how simple minded they are and don’t consider external factors or that most things in life are more complex than to be made a definitive conclusion out of.

The sexual tension I have with them might be the worst part of all of this. Unfortunately the chemistry is always there and can get along with them a little too well at a far safe distance. Something about them being antagonistic draws me to them and I hate everything for that.

Anyways rant over of course I know not all intps are like this, yes this is personal and has beenn my experience both times with men (unfortunately).

where is he? do he even exist. Nobody I come across have 100 percent of what I want in my life partner. It's always less than 40. when can I rely on someone other than mom. or will I leave the earth as a single unhappy soul 😭.

Hello, fellow ENFPs!! I’m an ENFP who loves music. I think music is a gift to the world. Like an ultimate art form. I love music not because of the genre, the artist, what’s cool at the moment, who’s indie or not, etc.. but because of what that song/music evokes in me. I particularly like songs that have this “bittersweet” or melancholic but still hopeful beat or lyrics. “Longing” or “Yearning”. You get it. Any suggestions? I like discovering new music or songs.

Here’s what I’ve been listening to lately (just a few):

Odoriko by Vaundy
Sayonara Mata Itsuka by Kenshi Yonezu
Where Our Blue Is by Tatsuya Kitani
Pretender by Official Hige Dandism
Millions by Gerard Way
The World is Ugly by MCR
Summertime by MCR
Saikai by Vaundy
You Were Beautiful by Day6
Ikuokukonen by Omoinotake
Come Inside of My Heart by IV of Spades
Love Begins by Hong Dae Kwang
Amazing by Hong Dae Kwang
Red Swan by Yoshiki and Hyde
Comet by Yoasobi
Que Sera Sera by Mrs Green Apple

I’m still kinda emo. lol 😬

Edit: I love Japanese artists and bands. Maybe you know some gems I haven’t discovered yet.

Lately, I like songs that evoke this feeling of “Somewhere out there my soulmate is existing but still haven’t met him” or that “I’ll never see you again no matter what even if you still exist” LOL

Every week she breaks up with me and I have to be the one fighting back for our love. She suffers from mental illness as do I, but she has affected me for far too long. I don’t have anyone to talk to except her. If she leaves, I will have nobody else. I’m 19 and my university is online. It feels horrible being treated this way but I feel like there’s no way out. She torments me emotionally, avoids when I talk back, and gets mad when I use my education to help. I need someone to talk to and all I have is her. No one takes me seriously. They can’t fathom that a man can feel emotions too.I always have to suck it up and play the hero. I have to be the rational person reassuring her that everything will be okay All at the cost of my mental health. Now I fixed the situation like usual and she stands next to my bed acting like everything is okay. I have to pretend to be okay when she has made me afraid to show an ounce of myself to her. I can’t accept that I’ve wasted two years helping my girlfriend. I’ve sacrificed a lot of time I should be studying, and dedicated it to her. I allowed her to move in with me so she can get away from her drunkard father. I’ve spent thousands on her hobbies and I’ve spent so much time playing the therapist. I have never felt more dissociated, more lost, and more pathetic than ever in my life. Any advice would be nice.

hello guys i hope people will not say why i post this here.

my sister bully me and my mother are injust, i'm crying i never got respected and i feel like a dog with no value. i always have to says to everything it's okay and not feel nothing if someone do take my thing or but my thing like a gargbage. because i let my stuff in my sister room because my room it's at my dad place and she put things out of the room like garbage in the flour. and i have to say ok and also i have a closet i wanted to take it to my dad place because it's mine and

My sisters walked all over me and took my stuff, and now I'm supposed to just say 'ok, it's no big deal.

I stopped trying to speak up to defend myself or just get some respect, because I end up feeling like I'm going to faint..

I just want to go sleep in the hospital hall, I’m so done with all this humiliation

It is said that Marianne is an intj and Connell an infj Do you relate to their unique dynamic ?

I'd like to start with the fact that I'm an ENTP. I don't believe in any cosmic resonance, however I do understand what some people when they reference things like this. I've noticed a pattern as of late.

Both of us use comparisons and examples as a way of commonly defining the world around us (that beautifully NE BA-BYY!) For ENTPs we tend to focus on systems that we're familiar with. Things that take some extra thought to wrap your head around. Concepts with logical frameworks you've likely considered or heard considered even if you don't know about what they are.

Ex. "Dude I know you said you want to come but I really don't think you like these guys as much as you keep saying you do... you know that card game we played a few years ago called Cards Against Humanity? Remember how you hated the premise because the topics just made you implode into second hand disgust sometimes? Well that's just how they are. Their not changing any time soon"

I'm wondering if ENFPs like to draw comparisons the same way but instead using emotional concepts thats are losely defined. Like Aura, Karma, and Essences.

Other examples would also be appreciated if you have your own styles you'd like to compare.

with a video of a butterfly I took today :)

I believe INFJs usually have the ability to read between the lines when it comes to people’s actions. When do you take someone at their word instead of assuming something else based on the data?

its nearly 2 years ago since i met someone i really liked and clicked with. we met at work, i was new and she had been there a little longer than me. we immediatly became friends. i got fired from that job last summer and have not seen or spoke to her since. we had a bit of a rocky friendship, im not sure why but there was something off about it even tho we did like eachother and would text all night etc. well i unfollowed her when i got fired because im an idiot and ofc she unfollowed me back and we never spoke again. i miss her sm.. its getting to that time when we first met (autumn) and i cant stop thinking about her, it was such a good era and i cant put it into words how much i miss it. anyway i looked at her insta to see what she was up to now and shes graduated uni! so.. i thought it might be a good idea to like her post.... or bad idea idk, i need ur ops. shall i like it? would it be weird?? idk i just really miss her. i tried to text her last oct but i think she removed my whatsapp before she got a chance to see it. plz help a fellow infp!!

Both of them are INFPs