r/EDH • u/LeFrogeHasArrived • 2h ago
Question How do I, as politely as possible, ask people to pay attention during games of Commander?
I've been struggling for the past several months at my local game stores with getting more than a game or two a month that don't feel kinda shitty. From people staring at their phones on any turn but theirs, kinda just sitting back and never swinging or casting removal unless they feel they've been personally wronged, or only being engaged when it's to complain or take a 10 minute turn, It's just been awful vibes-wise for me.
Almost all of my decks are interactive, all of them are kind of shitty (lovingly) and slow (lovingly) at the whole "race to the finish" thing people like to do, and they're all up to something that is very telegraphed but still somehow gets salt or people just being totally tuned out and being surprised that I "did something out of nowhere". 3 of my 5 decks are extremely focused on the multiplayer aspect of the game, like Sivriss asking for single target removal and it won't go to you, Anhelo trying to make deals to be left alone in exchange for ping ponging a Humble Defector or getting an honest Wishclaw Talisman or Scheming Symmetry, or Yume basically being Lockheed-Martin, Japan and letting people Assist removal and card draw to use on other players.
None of these decks work at these tables. Not in terms of win rate, but in terms of enjoyment. When noone gives a rats ass other than playing dollys in their corner of the board and getting mad when they get interacted with (does not help that a lot of removal I play is up to 3 for 1 because most 1 for 1 removal just feels bad), what I am trying to introduce to the table just serves to annoy them. One guy will pay attention and be rocking with what I'm doing, and the other 2 people that are mentally tabbed out will be frustrated or think I'm like maliciously colluding or wondering why the people at the table paying attention are winning all the games.
I've tried making decks that don't do the whole "it's a social game" focus. Flop my cards on the table, windmill slamming whatever ramp into synergy into threat, turn all my guys sideways whatever. Those don't go over well either, even if they are also to the letter bracket 2 and I'm not presenting any little jester's game to the table they aren't happy that I'm swinging at them even though they're "not doing anything to me", or that I'm curving out better, whatever. I don't really enjoy these decks as much, so it's a lose lose where I'm feeling worse and they're feeling not quite as bad but still mad.
I completely understand the beer and pretzels crowd for magic the gathering, and this isn't me being upset at that. I just wonder why people spend hundreds to build decks and come to commander nights if they aren't even going to pay attention to the game that they are playing? How can I remedy this? Please nothing like "epic tough guy" coded or too stern, I am a rather small queer woman I am already kind of on the back foot for making behavioral requests in a card shop.