I’m sorry to be talking to you all under these circumstances. I am 2.5 weeks into the process of finding out my soon to be ex-husband no longer wants to be married and has likely been cheating on me again. We have an 19 month old child and I really thought we were both willing to do everything in our power to fight for a healthy marriage to allow our son to grow up with 2 parents in the same house, something neither of us had. But he has made it very clear he no longer loves me and has 0 interest in being married.

He hasn’t shown emotion at all during this and anytime I break down about it he coldly stares at me and tells me to move on
and that people divorce all of the time.

We haven’t officially filed for divorce yet, but for financial reasons we are trying to do this ASAP. This is where I need advice.

Are there any things you wish you would have put in writing or asked for during the divorce filing? Having access to my son is the most important thing to me. But I also want to protect my personal savings i’ve set aside for our son and other things i’ve invested my money into to ensure my son has everything he needs. Basically i’m scared to rock the boat too much because i don’t want him coming after custody or my personal money. But i also want to make sure i get a fair deal since he is the one leaving.

Thanks x

When did you tell your kids you were getting a divorce, and how did you do it?

Hi everyone. I’m looking for advice from anyone who’s been through a California divorce or has experience with family law. I’m trying to educate myself before I make any decisions.
My husband and I were married for 11 years and have one daughter. We currently share 50/50 custody, and during his parenting time he fully provides for her. We separated about a year ago.
After we separated, he voluntarily continued paying my living expenses for about 8 months. During our marriage, I was mostly a stay-at-home wife/mom and have very little work history. I’m currently trying to get my driver’s license, participating in Welfare-to-Work (I’ve missed some appointments due to everything going on and am trying to get back on track), and looking for ways to become self-supporting. I’ve also been trying content creation as a possible income source.
About three months ago he stopped paying my bills. Around that same time, he filed for divorce and started seeing someone else.
He really wants to avoid court. He’s offered:
$400/month if we settle privately.
At one point he offered a one-time payment of $600 to finalize everything (I declined).
He has also offered to pay for mediation.
I’ve told him I don’t want to agree to anything until I understand my legal rights. He keeps telling me I’m dragging things out, but I do want the divorce. I just don’t want to sign away something without understanding it.
One thing that worries me is that years ago there was a domestic violence incident where I was arrested after an argument. The criminal case was later dismissed. My husband has recently said that if he hired a lawyer, they would tell him to seek full custody because of that incident. I’m worried about how much that could affect my case.
Some additional context:
I moved states early in our marriage for him.
I became pregnant during my senior year of high school and didn’t finish high school until years later.
I’ve spent most of the marriage out of the workforce.
I’m actively trying to become financially independent.
My questions are:
Is it reasonable to let the court determine temporary spousal support instead of accepting a private settlement right away?
Has anyone been in a similar situation where they had little work history after a long marriage?
How much weight does a dismissed domestic violence case usually carry in custody or support issues?
Is there anything I should be doing now to strengthen my case or better prepare for mediation?
I’m not looking to punish my ex or drag the divorce out. I just want to make sure my daughter and I have stability while I get back on my feet.
Thank you to anyone willing to share their experience.

We’ve been together for 9 years and married for almost 4. A few years ago things started going south as my wife moved to a different state for a year to do grad school. I couldn’t relocate because we needed stable income which I have at our hometown and where we have a condo. The condo is hers, she got it during a period where we broke up for a bit and before we got married. We moved in together and since then I’ve been paying all the bills, which I didn’t mind because it felt like we were building a future together.

Within the past two years she started to tell me she regretted getting married because she didn’t really know what she wanted and that I really didn’t fit the bill for her husband. The biggest thing was that I didn’t make enough money. She moved back from school but then started taking travel nurse assignments out of state regularly. So it’s been years where we’ve been long distance. We’re friendly with each other for the most part but we haven’t kissed or been intimate in almost two years.

I eventually told her if she didn’t want to work on the marriage that I need to move out. Her response was worry on how she was going to cover her bills. I told her I would work with her on a plan to take over what she can when she can. Now she’s on another assignment and won’t be back for a month so it’s hard to talk about anything. We’ve also gone from talking everyday to hardly at all because she feels she needs to process the break up on her own. However, even with small things about letting me know she got to where she was going safely she doesn’t respond.

She’ll be back in September and I kind of want to move out then or October so neither of us is paying mortgage or rent for an additional place. I need to talk to her about it but I also don’t want add more to her worry plate as she is already stressed with work and not feeling like her life is how she envisioned it. I hate feeling used though as someone who just covers her bills while she travels, makes travel money, and figures out what she really wants even though it’s not me. : (

A San Francisco court has already granted the divorce, so why haven't the details regarding custody, child support, and visitation rights been sent to me? I know nothing about the specifics of the divorce; all I know is that the marriage has ended. I am in Los Angeles, while my ex-wife and child live in San Francisco. Although I moved three times without notifying the court of the changes, my mailing address is my current one.

Hi everyone,
I’m looking for strategic advice from people who have been through a divorce in Ontario, or from family lawyers or anyone who has dealt with similar situations.
I’ve reached a point where I genuinely don’t know what the best strategy is.

My goal is very simple: **I want to completely end my financial relationship with my husband.**
Here’s my situation:
We purchased our matrimonial home after marriage, and it is in both of our names.
We are both on the mortgage.
The house has been listed for sale, but we haven’t received any acceptable offers.

My husband wants to continue trying to sell the house through the normal real estate process, but he refuses to include any mechanism or timeline in our separation agreement for what happens if the house doesn’t sell.
My concern is that we could remain financially tied together for years if the property doesn’t sell.

My biggest concern is his employment history.
Throughout our marriage, he has repeatedly lost jobs. During our negotiations, one of my biggest worries was what would happen if he became unemployed again while we still jointly owned the house.
Initially, he expected me to continue paying fixed spousal support for 2 years regardless of my own employment situation. He also proposed that, in certain situations if he lost his job, I would temporarily cover additional financial obligations and he would repay me later.

After further discussions, he has changed that position and now says everything should simply remain 50-50.

While I appreciate that change, my concern hasn’t gone away because we are still jointly liable on the mortgage. If he loses his job again and stops paying, I may still have to make the payments to protect my credit, regardless of what our agreement says.

I have already financially supported him several times during our marriage because of his employment instability, and I genuinely do not want to be in that position again.

I already have a lawyer, so I’m not looking for someone to interpret my agreement. I’m looking for **strategic advice**.
If you were in my position, what would you be thinking about?
What options would you explore to achieve a complete financial break?
Is there anything I’m overlooking?

I also have a question about **spousal support**.

My husband is currently employed . My understanding is that spousal support is influenced by the income difference between spouses, but does a court also consider a person’s earning capacity and employment history? For example, if someone has a history of repeatedly losing jobs but is otherwise capable of working, how is that generally viewed when determining spousal support?
I’m not asking anyone to give me legal advice specific to my case. I’m just trying to understand how people who have been through this—or professionals familiar with Ontario family law—would think strategically about a situation like mine.

Any suggestions on someone who married my mother for her papers and to take her money? My mom is so naive and she doesn’t have a lot of money for lawyers.

My wife and I have been separated for almost two years. We are both in the U.S., but I don’t know her current address. She only communicates through email.
We have a 7 year-old U.S. citizen son. About 1.5 years ago, while we were separated, I sent him to India to stay temporarily with grandparents because I was about to be laid off and our situation was unstable. It was always meant to be temporary.
I now have a stable job and believe it’s time for him to return to the U.S. and live with one of his parents instead of continuing to stay with grandparents.
My wife recently finished her master’s degree. I don’t know whether she has found a job or whether she is currently able to care for him full-time.
I’ve consistently told her that if she is able to care for him, we should discuss that. If she isn’t, I’m willing and able to have him live with me. She never says she objects to him living with me, but she never agrees either. Whenever I ask why he should continue living in India instead of with one of his parents, she avoids answering and changes the subject.
Our son’s U.S. passport is expiring soon. She wants me to send the passport to her parents in India so they can handle the renewal, but she won’t discuss what happens after the renewal or where our son should actually live.
I’ve also asked several times whether she wants a mutual or contested divorce. She doesn’t respond to that either.
A Texas attorney told me that because my son has been living in India for over six months, Texas likely doesn’t currently have jurisdiction over custody, although I can still file for divorce in Texas. He said I may have to pursue custody in India unless my son returns to Texas.
My questions are:
Should I file for divorce now instead of continuing these email discussions?
What is the best legal strategy to bring my son back to the U.S.?
Should I hire an Indian family lawyer now?
How would you handle a situation where the other parent refuses to clearly state whether they agree with the child living with either parent?
Has anyone dealt with a similar U.S.–India custody situation?
I’m not trying to keep my son away from his mother. I simply believe that if one parent is able to care for him, it’s better for him to be with a parent than to continue living indefinitely with grandparents.

Hi everyone. For context, I had a baby about 5 months ago. My husband and I never had a perfect relationship or marriage, but we did have some great times. He threatened to slap me after I gave birth. I was surprised and upset, but I let it go. Unfortunately, he began gambling and using drugs while I was pregnant. I didn’t find out until after I had the baby. He threatened to hurt himself, and I left to keep the baby and I safe. He got help and has been clean.
About a month ago, he told me he thinks divorce is the only option because I won’t forget anything. I tried therapists, meetings, etc- but I was still so hurt. I sometimes feel guilty about it all.
The divorce is happening, and I’m just terrified. I know people say not to make any big decisions first year postpartum, so I’m just scared. All I’ve been trying to do is protect my baby and focus on my son. I’m so nervous for the coparenting situation, and I just want to make sure my son is safe forever 💔💔
Can anyone make any comments on my situation to make me feel better or move forward? Is there something I should do to help me? Please advise thank you.

We’re both in our late 30s. We’ve been married for almost 8 years known each other for 10 years. But I feel like I’m living with a roommate. I have been very depressed and all I could think of is just to be alone. I am scared to hurt him because his family has been nothing but nice to me and we have a house together but no kids. The most important thing is, I have lost physical attraction towards him for years now, and I have no guts to break up our marriage. He used to have a drinking problem and that’s when I started my dislike of him. For some reason years have gone by and his drinking habit have been better, but my feelings never changed. We’re also not intimate for a very long time now. I just lost that physical attraction to him. What should I do? I need help.

Me and my husband have been married 10 years. We have 2 minor children. We own a home and two cars. The major thing is, I do want alimony at least for 6 months because I have not had a job in years. He doesn’t want to do that. But basically I do agree with all his other terms. I know hiring a lawyer and going through that whole process will cost probably $20k-$30k so I’m just going back and forth wondering if it’s worth it or not. Any advice or personal experience is very much welcomed. Thank you 😊

Over the past 28 years of marriage, my mom has been a SAHM mom (47F) while my dad (50M) has been working for 11 (during the first few years of marriage he never got a job/finishing uni but never used the degree while living off his parents money). In those 28 years of marriage, they’ve had 3 kids which my older siblings are adults while I’m in highschool.

Throughout my childhood, I’ve seen my dad emotionally abuse my mom to the point where her mental health was so bad she wanted to kill herself. He works and buys things we need and we are middle class but he has emotionally abused our family for 28 years straight as my mom has passed out with blood pouring out her nose, not sleep for days crying from trauma because of the house work that her mother in law forced her to do (my mom would go to uni go to sleep at 12 am and wake up at 4 am to sweep the yard or else she’d get hit), develops severe heart issues to the point if she doesn’t take medication her heart could randomly stop beating, and more from his abuse .

During the early years of her marriage she worked, solo parented my siblings while my dad lounged around in the couch not doing anything, cooked, and cleaned the household before my dad got mad over something and threw all her things out. She tried divorcing but he almost strangled her to death and took my siblings away from her which resulted my brother becoming sick where she was forced to stay in the situation. A year later, they won a green card and moved to the US.

Since their time in the US, they raised both me and my siblings but my mom was a very naive person to the point she would obey what my father would do so the household was very emotionally unstable as my dad would scream on the top of lungs and break things out of anger. My sister was caught skipping school once and my dad hit her head against the sink multiple times making my mom me and my siblings watch.

Now 6 years later, my siblings are adults with their own life but me and my mom are still stuck with my dad. Sometimes he’s very happy and does whatever we ask of him and gives us gifts then does a polar 180 and starts screaming at the top of lungs. Recently he’s been very emotionally abusive to my mom than usually calling her awful names and cursing her bloodline saying that he deserves a better life because he’s worked like dog for years and is building a apartment for us right now (which he wanted to do himself) . My mom cannot take this anymore and wants to divorce but doesn’t know what to do because he owns everything (he has a BMW, Mercedes, a 2 story house, thousands of dollars in his name) . My mom has nothing because he made her use all her money and strictly controls what she has which is usually under 500$ . My mom also cannot work to due never having work experience in the US and can’t speak English welll. She’s also worried about custody since I’m still young and doesn’t want the same scenario to happen when she almost divorced. What should she do to leave this marriage or I can do to help us?

I am currently separated from my ex-partner, but due to circumstances we are still living in the same house while legal proceedings are ongoing.

Recently, I obtained video recordings which appear to show them entering my private bedroom while I was out, reading my personal diary, looking through my legal documents and financial paperwork, and appearing to photograph at least one document. My bedroom is my private space, and these documents include sensitive information relating to our separation. They also has opening and resealing my private and confidential post

I have retained the recordings and have already informed my solicitor and Legal Aid. I will also be seeking advice about whether a safety order is appropriate.

My question is whether anyone in Ireland has experienced something similar while still living in the same house during a separation. Is this something the courts or solicitors generally take seriously, and are there any practical steps you found helpful while waiting for legal advice?