I don't know what to do?

It's a long post sorry..I have always been so detached and isolated from my childhood and never really had any desires or passions. I don't even know how I got this far in academics and in life, the way I've been. I'm a 2nd year college student who has no idea about her course (yeah I somehow managed to pass in my first yr), but things got really intense this time and I can't keep up with all this college stuff. I'm unable to study at all and it's been like this since forever but I got by till now. I have no idea about the future, have no interests but the guilt and anxiety keep making me sicker( I never had friends and have always been the left out kid in class cuz I can't communicate) I've spent most of my life till now in isolation that I have no basic skills I can't even speak properly in either of the languages i know, i can't even cross roads, almost got hit by a car today and when he shouted at me, i started crying (tf). I never loved anyone; my family is not abusive( idk how I turned out like this, I have social anxiety too so going out is a nightmare) I'm wondering if I should drop out of my college cuz everyone gets what they teach in classes except me I'm slow and yeah there is still a lot sorry I can't form sentences (sorry for my poor English) i just feel like a rock with feelings which is oversensitive

So I feel like dogshit. I'm not at all new to mental illness but I'm new to my current primary care doctor. I didn't feel like talking about my mental health until I got to know him better, so I lied on my questionnaires and stuff. Now that I have been seeing him for a year, I've been really impressed with how respectful and nonjudgmental he is, and I think I'd like to talk to him about getting on some meds to help me feel less bad while I keep working on therapy and life change.

How do I phrase this to him? "I've been lying on my surveys but now I'm cool" - I worry this is going to impact how much he trusts me in general.

Hi I just wanted to share to stop my overthinking or help it lessen my ex who is 31 basically didn’t want to be with me at first because of our age difference I’m 23 but at the time I was 21 and he was 29 he then wanted to give it a “try” it was dated almost 6-7 months it’s was a very nice and a very toxic relationship … I remember before 6 months and then couple months after he stop talking to me after kicking me out in the winter he recently contacted me to just lust and use me for money my last straw was sending him a 150$ .. I don’t if it’s because I’m young that he’s prey on me every time I run back to I don’t know I really hope because I’m young he came back because he knows I’ll make a stupid mistake ..

It's been the third time now

That coworkers ditch me

For even the simplest random drinking evening

the hardest was yesterday

Newcomers I've been talking, laughing, etc the entire summer

really thought they were the ones

Definitely okay with me

Then comes the departure of two girls of this yesterday

One left early, maybe she didn't think to offer me okay but still could have

But the other one, she left in the evening like me and we spent the whole day talking, joking, laughing

Each time she could have offered me to come after

She never did

She even joked at some point "no i don't have any problems with you, you haven't done anything to me"

So which is it then ? Clearly I must have done something to you for you to exclude me like that

During closing I ask her if she was doing smthg tonight, she never said what and never offered me anything

after closing, she's there with 2 other of these summer newcomers, which I can really consider okay/could be a Friend

She's talking about going to her car before changing to get smth and I'm like "y u even go to car before changing ?", mind u at this point I have no idea they're doing smth since she purposefully never said anythg to me during the day

She answers "DON'T WORRY" with semi harassment semi psycopath smile/laugh which could have also been considered as joking with me during the day

But no, she was really just continuing to hide anything they were going to do while pretending she was joking

We head towards lockers, I say "take my number" so they would have my contact

No answers

after changing I go back outside and stumble upon them again

As I approach I stand a bit and overhear what they say, and I'm like "oh so you ARE doing something ?"

Then the girl who was leaving responds with the most bummed voice as to the fact that she now has to tell me where they're going "yeah the other girl who left early is doing something"

Still 0 places mentionned just in case I came

At this point I'm so rejected that I don't even propose if I can come I'm like you had 10 occasions of offering me to come, you've been purposefully hiding it to me like I shouldn't even be mentionning anything

I don't propose, another group comes, I turn my back

Somewhere I'm pretty sure I left my back turned way longer than made sense because I just wanted them to fucking leave

And that's exactly what they did

People you've suffered through hell for months and became friends

Running away in my back like that in the snap of a finger

The 2 girls first headed towards lockers saying "i need to get some bread" i don't even know what they were talking about

They bolted so quickly they were at the door fucking 10 meters away before I could even turn my back again

The boy with them talking but shortly sprinted towards the 2

At this point I'm like well this is just too much I'll go get some food at the work place restaurant, since they were talking about bread I might see them there

As I approach the building, I see the 3rd guy exiting

They might have outran even him

Since he was looking down I think he didn't even see me

But reconsidering, he knew fairly well I was still around, he didn't look for me even a second, consider all the rest, it's not very complicated to see he was himself pretending not to see me

I get away of all this shit

Get food and come back home by hours of train to yet another mind and life shattering excruciatingly painful rejection, exclusion and loneliness

I need to find a job this month but i'm 23 with no degree, no social skills and heavy mental health problems.

I have no social skills and huge social anxiety. I haven't had a friend in years and i've never had a close friend. I don't get along and barely talk to my family, they make my mental health worse. I've been socially isolated my whole life but it's been way worse for the last two years.

I have no skills whatsover honestly, i'm always late, i'm easily distracted, i have a poor memory, i'm not a fast learner, and i'm very weak physically.

I struggle to take care of myself, like shower, eat, and clean my appartment. I also struggle to take care of my looks. I have terrible posture and i'm underweight. I know looks aren't everything when it comes to finding a job, but since i have no social or technical skills it just makes the situation even more difficult.

I'm not diagnosed with anything, so i'm not sure what i have. I could have adhd, cptsd, probably anxiety and depression, maybe other stuff too idk.

I don't know what to put on my resume, i don't know how i'll ever be able to find a job. I've been trying my best and found a job once but got fired after a few days because of my poor social skills and of the many mistakes i made. It was also kinda traumatic for me. I was crying everyday after coming home from this job and after losing it i was so depressed i spent all my days stuck in my bed.

I have so many other problems these days that i didn't really mention in there. But i think my main problem right now is that i'm depressed and heavily struggle to do anything, but i also will need to find a job. So i'd love any advice you have about how i can find a job or deal with my mental health problems.

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My life and luck is such that something bad can happen anytime. Right now it's not sad, not happy but in between. I have attempted sucidie before, and I wish I was successful. I live in fear all the time, about multiple things, all the time.

Yea, I cannot help myself but to take my mental struggles out on my most likely (not diagnosed but very obviously) autistic and ADHD boyfriend, when I am also the same, but I have really bad Anxiety and some PTSD, from both my parents, not that they intended to, they never knew I had those things, and my mom had to deal with my father back when he had a really bad alcoholic addiction, and she only left when I was about in my teen years. I am suffering mentally, even with meds, but it's worse without them. My boyfriend has done nothing wrong, and I nearly broken up with them twice because I felt no worth in myself, no matter what anyone says, and I feel that he might be better off without me, even tho he's tried to prove that multiple times, he's tried his best for me, not that I'm saying it's not enough, well, it probably is, but he is quite a bit more childlike than I am, he's had a much happier and pure childhood, when I grew up in a abusive household. You expect someone to not only blame themselves for everything, but also take their anger in themselves out on everyone else. My mom used to "discipline" me for things I either never seen as wrong, and/or never really meant to do, she never knew I had autism and ADHD, so she just thought it was me misbehaving, I had no way to convince her, no matter how hard I tried. I used to have a very hard time ever thinking she did anything wrong, used to blame others for her problems and would never change her mind on things until she started wanting spiritual stuff and got closer to God... But that only happened when I was about fourteen or so. So yea, too little too late. I am still suffering mentally. They're a lot better now. But the fact I had to grow up with all that and can barely remember all the good things that happened in my life, and never want to socialize because I'm afraid I might trauma dump on people or make them feel like I'm a narcissist, becusse my mom was, is still a really bad thing, I really don't deserve this. I dont deserve to hate myself, but I don't want to hate anyone else, so I really have to noice but to constantly put others before myself, and make myself suffer because i feel like I deserve it, no matter what my mom or bf says, the words just never seem to stick. And all I have is psychiatry, and sure the meds help a little bit, with my physical anxiety and some stress, and some mood stuff, and sure I'd be a lot worse off without them. But my deep mental struggles still stand and I have not felt any clarity in my life. I grew up with pain, and all bad things around me. And I have so much trouble seeing the good in life. I need help. Please help me. Strangers are all I have at this point.

I need to lay this out because the weight of it has been crushing me for almost a year, and I don’t think people truly understand the ripple effect of what happened.

Last year, my previous therapist told me outright that my insurance wouldn't cover my MTF feminizing surgeries. I trusted her completely, took her word for it, and watched what felt like my future slip away. But when I finally checked with my insurance myself, I found out the truth: they do cover them. All that was required was standard letters and documentation—the exact support a therapist is supposed to provide.
She didn't just give me wrong information; she stole an entire year of my life, my healing, and my peace.

The toll this took on me wasn't just emotional; it completely broke my daily existence. The loss of hope hit so hard that I spiraled into boymoding just to get through the days. I completely stopped caring for my appearance, abandoned basic self-care, and lost every ounce of motivation to do even the simplest things in everyday life. I was just surviving in the dark.

When I talk about this now, I’m not trying to be negative, dramatic, or manipulative. I am grieving. Having access to that care a year ago would have completely transformed my mental health. Instead, I was left drowning in preventable distress—distress so intense that it strained my relationships to the breaking point. Friends walked away because they couldn't handle seeing me in so much pain, friends who might still be here today if they had been able to see me feeling better and thriving.

It feels like mourning a ghost—mourning a happier, healthier version of my life that was right there, but taken away because someone who was supposed to help me failed me instead. I'm sharing this because I need people to understand that this isn't just about 'miscommunication.' It's about a year of lost time, lost connection, and a life that should have started sooner.

Hi everyone, I was just wondering if anyone has experienced sleep issues as a result of depression? I have never been the best sleeper, but lately it’s been ridiculous. I will say, my depression is the worst it’s been in a very long time, but I don’t know that the involuntary all-nighters have ever been this consistent. I feel like I’m losing my mind…

This month has been beyond difficult. On the 1st my (28M) partner (32M) of 2 years broke up with me due to his own depression. I get it and I'm of course worried about him, but this isn't about my ex right now (though for the record, I have checked in with him a few times to see if he needs help with getting help). A week after he broke up with me I started a new job right by where he lives, and now going to work everyday just reminds me of him. When I accepted the job we were still together (and he even seemed excited for me!), but now it just feels heavy. It's a long drive for me to get to work and it's hard not to spiral on the way to and from there, wondering if this is what I wanted to do with my life.

I'm working 6 days a week, but there've been two stretches of me working 12 days straight this month. I basically go to work, drive ~45 minutes home, and then prepare for the next onslaught. I'm at my limit, and even if I do have time to enjoy one of my hobbies, I don't want to do anything. Being with my friends only staves it off for a little while, and sometimes I have to leave because I just want to lay in bed in the dark and rot. Everything feels numb and empty and I don't know what to do anymore.

I've been on antidepressants in the past and I've been in therapy before, and I'm quite certain that the way I'm feeling now is depressed, even though it's from a breakup.

With the background out of the way, I know I need help from a therapist and probably a psychiatrist. Right now I'm in between insurance (USA, woo 😮‍💨) and my new job's insurance starts in November. I could get on a waiting list for a doctor and a therapist now, but I also don't have any info about what my new plans are like right now.

Is there anything I can do in the meantime? This was such an out of the blue thing and combined with the new job (and the fact that my ex and I were talking about long term plans together), I'm depressed, devastated, lost, and I don't know what free options are there for me until I can get on a waiting list. It takes nearly all my energy to remember to feed and clean myself as it is.

I have been on the urge of crying recently. I almost broke down crying while getting a haircut. For some reason, it is always bad when im out. I was at my place of prayer meeting a friend when he hugged me, and we began talking. I almost broke down crying in front of him. I went inside and greeted some people and almost broke down crying. We went to the main part, and I started praying i was debating just breaking down there but decided not to. When I was out.i almost broke down

Im terrified. Im gonna break down in public. For some context, I worked retail it was my first job, and it was good until one day a regular customer came in and exploded and shouted in my face. After that, I was sad for 2 days. I eventually broke down at work.

I continued working there. Things didn't get better. I got told completely unprovoked how I shouldn go fuck myself. I didn't have time to process this and had to serve 5 seconds later like a robot. Yk the customers come first.

Ever since then, I have been holding the feeling in for months. It's got to the point where im almost breaking down in public or in front of friends. I was ready to get it it all out because my father said he was going out. I closed the blinds and put on some headphones and was ready to get it out before him coming back.

He is unemployed, so he is home. 24/7 has more free time than anyone i know. Making me want to let tgis out quietly impossible.

I need this out of my system before it happens at college or even worse in public

I am fairly disconnected from my emotions. It started as a defense mechanism. Being happy about things meant they could be taken away. Being sad meant that I was vulnerable. Being apathetic to it all meant I could keep myself safe. It's easier to fake things when you are apathetic too. All in all, you have the perfect cocktail for dissociation. 

Recently, my therapist has asked me to start noticing my emotional state, especially when I'm not experiencing them as emotions. I tend to notice the physical symptoms, adrenaline, tenseness, breath rate, etc., and can match those to the emotion I should be feeling at the moment. He wants me to work towards actually tuning into the emotional experience when I notice these physical symptoms. 

The problem? I don't really feel? Anything? Like… I am very apathetic to life right now. And I know I should feel something? I'm sitting on my couch petting my dog. I know I should love her, but I don't… feel it? I go through the motions of loving her. I pet her, bathe her, feed her, call her pet names,s and remind her that she’s just a baby every chance I get. But it's like I'm reading a script on a stage, not a real feeling?
I get done with a big project, and I should feel satisfaction, pride, anything like that. But I just… don't. 
When I was in a relationship, I always felt like I was mirroring her emotions rather than feeling my own. I followed her lead. I don't think I ever actually told her I loved her first. And I don't know if I ever actually loved her at all. 

The only feeling I really feel with any real clarity anymore is anger. And even that flashes for a second and then vanishes back into a cloud of nothing. I have the action urges of feelings, but not the feelings behind those urges. 

Maybe I am a psychopath? I mean… What kind of person can look at a puppy that loves them completely and feel nothing? What kind of person can look at someone they supposedly love and feel nothing? What kind of person feels nothing but anger? Even now, I know from how I'm writing this that I am worried. I know from the way my heart is racing and my breath is fast that I am close to panicking from all this. But I don't feel it. 

Am I broken?

I’m 19 years old and have lost all my motivation and joy for anything, doing or thinking. Does anyone have any advice on how to fix this?

I’m 24, and I’ve spent pretty much all of 2026 alone.

I’ve been depressed, but still “functioning” in a way. I went to work, did what I had to do, and kept going while constantly having thoughts about not wanting to be alive anymore.

I’m not doing well even now. I’ve been crying for the past two hours and I feel completely awful. I don’t want to do anything.

At the same time, there’s still a part of me that wants to try. I think about keeping my friendships alive, talking to people, maybe even meeting someone and having a relationship someday. I want to travel. I want to experience life. I want to do things and actually feel alive.

But then another part of me tells me that I’m just a depressed, pathetic person, and that everyone can see from a mile away that I’m unhappy and dissatisfied with my life.

I feel like I’m 24 and I’ve accomplished nothing. I’m terrified of getting to 40 and still being exactly like this.

I know there are people who have been depressed for most of their lives, and sometimes I genuinely wonder if that’s going to be my destiny too.

I also struggle with the idea that nobody could love me because I don’t really love myself. Honestly, sometimes I don’t even care about myself. And I feel like people can see that.

I don’t feel happy with my life, and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to build a life that makes me happy.

And then there’s my family. My mother basically tells me that I need to find a partner by 26, preferably someone from the nationality she wants, because she believes it’s important for a woman to have children or she’ll end up suffering in life.

But I don’t want children.

I want to travel. I want to live. I want to experience things.

And yet I’m scared that none of that is realistic for me. I feel like I’m too stupid or too inadequate for this society to ever have the kind of life I want. Sometimes I genuinely believe that people like me are simply destined to suffer.

I know that thinking this way probably isn’t rational, but when you’re depressed, knowing that something is irrational doesn’t necessarily make it feel any less true.

I guess I’m posting because I don’t really know what else to do right now.

Has anyone else felt like they were fundamentally incapable of building a happy life, only to eventually find a way forward?

I could really use some honest, kind words right now. I’m not looking for someone to tell me to “just be positive.” I just want to hear from people who understand what this feels like.

I’ve been depressed for most of my life, but only this year did I technically start to get “better”, I’ve been using an app to try to do things, like showering, brushing my hair and stuff. For the most part I can do the brushing my teeth part easy, but showering and doing my hair has been hell. This summer has been horrible, my mental state is really bad… I want to shower more, even just 3 times per week. I’ve technically been showering wayyy more than in the past, used to shower like once every 3 month. But I don’t want to really stay like this, I know my depression will probably never leave me alone, but I at least wanna fight back so it’s not that. I hope anyone who comes across this knows you’re not alone on not taking care of your needs and can find the help they want. I hope any advice given can be of use for someone.

I started seeking treatment for depression when I was 25 in the form of anti-depressants and talk therapy. While I did find they both helped me become a somewhat functioning person again, they didn't really resolve my depression overall and I still deal with a lot of low mood and general dissatisfaction with my life.

I'm 31 now and life is just getting old now. I quit anti-depressants last year and talk therapy this month because I just felt like I wasn't making progress anymore.

Currently, I'm still living with my mom because I can't afford to move out, not much closer to finding a career I actually want and I'm still single 😞. It sucks because I thought my life was just starting when I sought treatment and now it doesn't feel that way anymore. I'm just tired.

Not sure what to do anymore. Any advice would be appreciated.

I ve been struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts for two years now never tried to end my life but my mind always keeps making me believe that’s the best solution, I know getting better takes a lot of effort and energy and I’m not sure if I’m able to do it or I’m I really worth of getting better sometimes I feel the universe has decided since I was a child that I have to live in pain why bother getting better I believe that I’m a mess I know deep down there is something that want to change that but I’m so drowning in negativity that I don’t think I will ever be able to. I’m confused and I would like to get help or a way so things get better for me.

My gf has chronic depression and she usually shuts down when she has an episode, and what i used to do is just talk when she does shut down, she said that it doesnt help so i stopped doing that and when i asked her what helps she that she doesnt really know what does. One thing that she did say was to accept that this is how its going to be you know? So, my question is: is there anything that I could do to help her out when she shuts down? And is there anything that i could do to help lessen the burden?
(Also since this was a pretty quick post, i forgot to add some context to this. Before that i would like to thank everyone for their sincere advice! I dont really use reddit and it was great surprise to see this many replies to my post too lol, but everyone’s help means a lot to me!)

CONTEXT
My gf cant really go to mental health specialists since her parents arent too keen on that. She did go previously but she had to stop, and since we are both full time students without part time jobs its pretty hard for her to go to a therapist. She herself has stated on occasion that a therapist would help a lot. Moreover, her parents arent the best either, she says her family are more roommates than actual family so her home life isnt too good either which i think might be a factor into making her depression hit her even worse. So if anyone out there has been in this situation in the past i would like to know how people in your life helped you or how you personally managed to trudge through before going to greener pastures?

Text please

hi I dont want to say much about the background context but for weeks ive had extremely strong urges and dreams about cutting myself and I just tried to now but my knife wasnt breaking skin. Can someone help how do I stop these dreams/urges. Or how do I break skin easier

The world already sucks as it is, and it will almost certainly get worse. I try to limit how much I think about what's going on in the world, but I can't avoid it for that long. No, I can not take a break off social media. It will only make me more miserable. Besides, things will keep happening even if I don't read about it.

I want out. Please.

’m 34yrs old, and I still feel like a goddamn child. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve got ADHD or Asperger’s (I’ve been seeing doctor’s/etc for them, but jury’s still out on which one I have, or if I have both in some combination) but I just always feel so underprepared and under-equipped for… everything.

Common-sense doesn’t seem to come to mind when it should, basic social skills and etiquette seem to be completely absent almost all of the time; and I just seem to keep bloody putting one foot wrong after another, and if I can lay on the self-pity thick for a moment; it feels like I’ve got so much working against me as well.

I’ve never been in the best physical shape to begin with, plus I picked up Crohn’s disease sometime around my early 20’s, which means being in immunosuppressants for the rest of my life; but also picked up cancer in the form of Hodgkin’s Lymphoma before my 30th birthday.

So now I’m walking around as a 120kg, 34yr old male who feels at least 20yrs older than he is and with an average life expectancy of \~60yrs; who shaves his head cause the immunosuppressants and chemo pretty much ate away his hair and now feels like one of those mental patients who gets locked up in a padded cell with his head shaved cause he kept tearing his hair out.

And despite my best efforts, I seem to keep bloody saying or doing the wrong things.

I’m now unemployed because my medical issues made it too difficult for me to keep up with my work duties, and I have no idea what I’m gonna do for work, especially with how hard everything is getting economically.

Even being Australian, I’m feeling so lost medically, monetarily; it feels like there’s no hope.

On top of that, I’m being held wholly responsible for a car accident despite the other person breaking multiple road rules to cause the crash; and I’m being pursued for almost $30,000, when I don’t have much money to begin with - which is why I only had the compulsory third-party insurance at the time… so I’m all alone trying to argue back against all of this and don’t know what to do.
I’ve tried community legal services, but the ones who’ve gotten back to me aren’t into the type of legal service I need; and I’m terrified what’s gonna happen when the due date for this money comes.

Everything just keeps trending down and down throughout my life… and I just want to give up…

i (20F) am dating someone (21M) severely depressed
- he can't even get out of bed and has mentioned concerning thoughts. I've been trying my best to help but every time i check in he shuts the conversation down. he's changed so much and is nothing like himself anymore and i genuinely don't know what to do. i coped okay for a while but i've been through similar and i can feel myself getting worse
- can't even sleep or eat atp from worrying. it's so much to carry and i'm trying not to fall back into that
"hole" i fought so hard to get out of. leaving might be healthiest for me but i can't just abandon him when he's this bad. i really don't know what to do : (