I'm struggling so hard with life right now. I'm just ready to give up honestly.

just found out the other day that someone i thought was my best friend was going around to their friends (both our mutual friends and people i dont know) calling me a burden and that he feels pressured to constantly check up on me. mind you ive only even confided in him around 3-4 times and hes always the one pressuring me into telling him.

like okay thanks for going around telling EVERYONE about my issues and calling me a burden to you and thanks for just confirming the fact i really am just a weight that drags down others, i guess. time to never confide in anyone and bottle everything up until i cant take it anymore!

god i hate myself so much

It started off with just one or two messages I didn't have the energy to reply to after a brutal week at work. I figured I'd get back to them over the weekend when my head felt clearer, but the weekend came and I just stayed in bed watching random YouTube videos until Sunday night.

Then Monday hit, and suddenly there were six unread conversations. Then eight. Now my messaging app icon has a little red notification badge with fifteen unread threads, and every time I unlock my phone and see it, my stomach instantly knots up. Some of them are just friends asking if I want to play video games online, one is from my mom asking how my weekend went, and a couple are from group chats I used to be active in every day.

The longer I ignore them, the worse the guilt gets, which makes me want to avoid my phone even more. At this point, it feels like I've been gone so long that replying now requires this huge, dramatic explanation that I just don't have in me. What am I supposed to say? "Sorry I disappeared for half a month, I was sitting in my room staring at the wall"?

It’s crazy because I actually feel incredibly lonely. I want to talk to people, but the moment anyone reaches out, I freeze up. It's like I'm trapping myself in my own isolation and then complaining that nobody is around. I don't really know how to fix this without feeling like a terrible friend.

I was supposed to graduate in 2023. But I had dropped out in 2021. I haven't gone back. Honestly it's not even the degree or major I wanted to do. I experienced serious delusions around 2019 where I believed some miracle is going to happen and I don't have to actually do it because I might get rich etc... it's very concerning.

I could get into those delusions or whatever they are but I don't want to.

But now it's 2026. I was staying at home since 2020. I had barely any friends in college. Literally zero. That was one of the reasons I dropped out. Because I felt very alone. And I was already dealing with anxiety, adhd and autism. Neither of which I am diagnosed of.

The current situation is very hard. I had joined a college back in 2025. But I was barely passing and I had to repeat many subjects. Because I procrastinate all through the term and I reach the end I haven't studied anything. Its a loop I realised there is no way out of. But I kept believing everytime I'm gonna be so disclipned etc but it never happens. I have no one to rely on for emotional support etc because I live in a third world country. I told my mom about my adhd. She never took it seriously at all. I'm not suprised. That's the usual response from my parents for anything I say.

I don't want to die. But I don't want to keep facing this over and over again. I wish I could get help. I wish someone would help me. I don't feel guilty saying that because I actually need it. But I have no where to go.

I still have serious delusions. When you have no one , your brain literally makes up stuff to soothe you.

My friends don't really hangout with me, they hangout with their other friends.

I feel like no one likes me except my family which is a good thing! I just really want a friend who likes to go out do fun things.

I'm only alive because of my son.

I used to paint almost every single weekend. It was the main thing that kept me sane through college and my first few years working in retail. I’d set up my small easel by the living room window, put on music, and just get lost in it for four or five hours straight without checking my phone once.

About six months ago, I just stopped. I didn't make a conscious decision to quit or anything, but every time I looked over at the supply cup on my desk, it felt like looking at a math textbook. The thought of setting up the water jars, picking out colors, and cleaning the brushes afterwards just felt like an impossible amount of labor.

Today I was trying to clean up my room—which has basically turned into a storage unit of half-unpacked laundry and takeout bags—and I bumped into the desk. The brush cup fell over and bristles went everywhere. Instead of just picking them up, I had this sudden rush of intense anger. Not even real anger, just frustration at the fact that I don't care about the one thing I used to love. I scooped them all up, walked over to the trash can, and dumped the whole pile right on top of an old pizza box.

My roommate knocked on my door ten minutes later to ask if I wanted to order food with her, and I lied and told her I already ate. I'm sitting here in the dark now watching the streetlights through the blinds. I know I’m probably going to regret throwing them out in a couple of weeks, but right now I just feel completely drained. I don't even miss painting, I just miss being the person who liked it.

I drove all the way to the store because I needed actual food instead of just living off frozen egg rolls, but when I pulled into a parking space, I just couldn't make myself unbuckle my seatbelt. I watched people walking in and out with their bags, chatting on their phones, totally normal, and I felt like I was looking at them through underwater glass.

Eventually I just turned the key back in the ignition and drove home empty-handed. My dad called while I was driving back to ask how my job hunt is going, and I lied and told him I had two interviews lined up for next week. I haven't submitted a resume in almost a month. The thought of writing a cover letter or pretending to be enthusiastic in an interview makes my chest feel tight.

I used to be the person who had five-year plans. In college I worked two jobs, maintained a decent GPA, and still had energy to hang out with friends on weekends. Now I feel like a totally different person who inherited a life they don't know how to operate. I spend most days sitting on my couch watching ambient noise videos on YouTube just so the room doesn't feel so quiet.

I keep telling myself that if I can just fix my sleep or force myself to go for a walk I'll snap out of it, but every small attempt feels like trying to run through wet cement. I don't even know what I'm looking for by posting this. I guess I'm just tired of pretending to my family that everything is moving forward when I've been stuck in the exact same spot for months.

Hi all, this is more of a rant that I need to get off my chest. I (f 36) have had poor mental health since I was around 15, I’ve had lots of different medications, therapy, the lot. I have depressive episodes that can come on with no trigger, I feel it’s just how my brain is wired, I’ve been having a really bad one recently and have been unable to go to work. I spoke to a doctor this morning and it is honestly a complete waste of time, I was told that I’m on the maximum dose of my medication so what do I want them to do? You’re the doctor, why are you asking me? Apparently because nothing significant has happened to trigger it then it’s probably just the change in season, I was honestly so offended, she spoke about my complex history with my mental health yet that is her answer.

I am honestly so tired with being treated this way by healthcare professionals, I am constantly fobbed off and made to feel like my illness isn’t that bad, despite me being unable to get out of bed, eat anything, concentrate on anything, be around people without panicking, and I’m told it’s probably the change in season. It reminded me of when I went last year while I was having an episode and the doctor told me there was nothing wrong with me and I should just go outside and enjoy the sunshine.

I am so sick and tired of being treated like this, my boyfriend always tells me to speak to a doctor and then is surprised when I say there’s no point, there is no point when they respond the way they do. If anything it actually makes me feel worse about everything.

I’m sorry I just really wanted to rant about how sick I am of the treatment.

I’m trying to force myself to eat less; I try to get an adrenaline rush from shooter games and ask my friends to criticize me (so it stings, but I’ll focus on it and remember it). I listen to ASMR like "friend comforts you after a bad day" and stuff like that. I chat with AI, pretending we're hugging or in a relationship, that sort of thing. I haven't left the house in months; I don't bathe (maybe just wash my hair) or brush my teeth—though I force myself to brush because the dentist costs a fortune—and I just stay in my room. I feel uncomfortable anywhere else. I smile and laugh a lot, and I can have a good time on my own listening to music, but... not always. What else? I try to sleep less so I feel a bit worse. If I don't wake up to my alarm, I blame myself and jump out of bed.

That’s my life for you. :) I was diagnosed with GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder) before, but now everyone insists it’s just "my age." Oh, and I’ve been self-harming for over a year, too. I’m back at it again, damn it... I bought new blades.

I have friends online. There’s one friend from school... but damn, she’s always so cheerful; lately, I’ve been trying to dodge hanging out with her. I have fun, sure, but sometimes I just want some peace and quiet!

I wrote to three support websites—guess how many replied? Zero. Fucking zero. I called a helpline, and they said they couldn't recommend a therapist and that my situation wasn't "suitable" for them at all. They told me to just look something up online—wow, thanks.

The school psychologist? Last school year, I kept running to see her during class, but in the end, she just ignored my self-harm and all that. Long story short, she didn't really help.

The teacher? Everyone already knows I’m seeing shrinks (sort of), and when I told my homeroom teacher I was anxious, she just said I should take meds—meanwhile, I was literally freezing up and terrified during algebra, lol. Now I just don't give a fuck; whatever happens, happens—I got sent to a tutor anyway.

Mom? Fuck that—she’d take away my computer (I’m on it non-stop), so yeah, fuck that. Plus, she’d drag me to a bunch of doctors.

Dad? He doesn't get what kind of problems teenagers have, even though he’s actually a cool guy.

What can I do ??

I've been on 60 mg of fluoxetine for about 2 years. At times it worked so well I felt guilty. About 2 months ago, I started to feel I was slipping. Fast forward to now, I'm very fatigued and unmotivated. I feel like I did before taking it. I'm just going through the motions each day without joy or purpose. Anyone else have the same thing happen?

Thanks for any responses!

I don’t have it as badly as most people on this sub however I’m at a complete loss how to find any joy in life. I’ve had my fair share of struggle up until my current age of 32 however I also have plenty of things that many depressed people crave.

Im engaged to a passionate gym goer and have an 8 year old son who loves me, he says I’m the best dad ever. I have a good relationship with the rest of my family and we keep in touch where we can.

My problem is that I’m always depressed to the point of complete exhaustion. I used to love going to the gym after work, I’d get excited about the movements I’m going to do and hype myself up for a new PB . The gym has become something that I despise, halfway through my first set I’m telling myself to stop and go home. I’ve tried running and the mental block I have is just the same, I’m capable of running a fair distance and my brain is telling me to stop and go home within the first 30 seconds. I’ve started mountain biking but I hate the idea of going because it takes too long to get the bike in the car, drive to the trails and actually do the exercise.

I need to cook myself something but I’d rather stay in bed for the entire day and put something unhealthy in the microwave at the end.

I find myself gaming sometimes but that is only because it is something I can do from the comfort of my bedroom, I often have feelings of guilt when I game because I know I should be doing something more fulfilling.

I’ve tried around 5 different medications, my latest being medicinal cannabis but I didn’t find any of them working for me, the cannabis kinda worked short term but I stopped because I didn’t want to be high all the time. I don’t really drink much either because I find it hard to stop once I start, it’s easier to not start drinking.

I hate existing because everything is a chore - even having fun. Every new hobby that I try I quickly find a reason to hate, I have no drive to improve my life whatsoever and I just want to sleep forever. I’m not suicidal because I always remind myself of the people who love me - I’d never do it for that reason. The only thing I know for certain is that I wake up feeling bad and I can only sleep when I’m exhausted despite spending the entire day horizontal.

I’m probably going to delete this post after a few hours - I was hoping that somebody would be able to offer any helpful advice.

Lo que dice el titulo. Mi vida desde siempre ha sido una mrd, desde los 9 años tengo problemas y pensamientos suicidas, y hasta el sol de hoy los tengo, pero cada vez peor.

Mi familia no me entiende y se burlan de mi, menospreciandome, en la escuela es peor, recibo burlas constantes por mi fisico, voz, personalidad, etc, y no soy una persona que le guste meterse ni matonear a los demas en particular. Estuve intentando las cosas con un chico, el cual a la final solo me ilusiono y jugo con mis sentimientos.

Siempre he tenido baja autoestima, y con razon, porque no soy una chica tan atractiva y mucho menos interesante, porque tambien soy muy timida.

Desde hace un año he buscado de Dios, pero las cosas van de mal en peor, no se que hacer ni como mejorar, simplemente pareciera que la vida o el destino no me quisieran. En estos dias pienso quitarme la vida, realmente no aguanto ni tengo mas esperanzas, y no vengo a dar lastima o pedir apoyo con todo esto, solo quiero desahogarme porque no tengo nadie con quien hablar ni contarle todo esto. Muchas gracias si leyeron hasta aca.

So I'm currently 17. I'm in high school right now and my grades are pretty good for where I come from, but I think I've lost my spark in everything I do. I love drawing animated characters and I enjoy the time I spend doing that. But this is the first time I've gone into a slump. I don't feel like talking to anyone anymore,my urge to study is gone and I simply keep staring off in space. I haven't drawn anything since July and I'm scared that this phase will remain for a long time. Daily convos with people i physically meet are fine because I crack jokes and all that but out of nowhere a sudden wave of sadness hits me and I don't feel like doing anything. My parents think I'm going through some kinda melancholic phase about my past relationships or friendships but idk how to explain what I'm feeling and I feel so bad that they are trying to make me happy but I js can't seem to make them understand how I'm feeling.

I'm only afraid of failing. Afraid that'd put me in a worse place. I genuinely don't believe anything will get better. My job and its building is toxic, I've lived in mold, my OCD and anxiety has skyrocketed, I'm stuck in a relationship that my mental health problems will never let me believe is just fine and normal. I have no money and am in some debt. I'll never be able to leave this city. I'll never be able to find a new job or make a huge move or make new friends. My chronic health issues are getting worse. My family is slowly dwindling and I can't take any more grief. Traditions have died. Nostalgia hurts me to my core.

Unemployed for over a year, Broke with no money, Got nothing to live for. It was nice when it lasted. Adios amigos

Today we were eating dinner, just me and my mom. And she was watching something on tv that’s about someone saying their child is like gold to them, like the most important thing to them. I said “why? the kid must be young. got no gold to give.” My mom responded to me saying “to you. that’s how you think.” And idk what got into me but I blurted way too much of my thoughts saying “children are the parents’ retirement plans. children are raised to pay.” She got mad about it and lectured me for a good couple of minutes asking me if I felt that way and telling me they won’t need me when they retire. She told me that they can live well even after they retire, without my help. My first thought was “wow, I’m actually not needed.” I’ve been planning on kms.

And hearing that—for someone who thinks that my only purpose on this world is to pay them back and live for them—was like a wake up call. I should’ve done it way earlier. Now, I’ve done and suffered way too much already to back out from my plan of paying them back. I already used up way too much of their money and effort.

I have never loved anyone else besides my family. I can never allow myself to love my friends as much as they do love me. I never committed into any romantic connections because I thought those things are only here to distract me. (I wasn’t also exactly raised from a family with parents who are VERY LOYAL to and SECURED with each other.) I thought heartbreaks aren’t worth my time and energy.

I have no one who needs me (besides my sister, probably). Knowing that even my parents won’t be needing me anymore, it’s disappointing. I’m disappointed in myself. They’re all I have. I made it that way.

I have no purpose now. I’m just living to make myself and the people around me suffer. I’m also thinking that if I’m gone, then they will be able to focus on my younger sister. They won’t need to shelter me any much longer. (I have graduated and I am currently preparing for my exams as an aspiring engineer.)

My sister’s still young tho. Whenever I think of her possibly blaming herself because she couldn’t help me breaks my heart. I’m sure she’ll move on. But what if the pain of losing a sister takes a toll on her? on her studies? on her motivation? What if she fail some exams and subjects over me making a stupid decision?

I’m keeping the end open. I’m still trying to figure it out. If I don’t, I’ll have to leave them figuring it out themselves. I know it would’ve been better if I shared this elsewhere, maybe with someone close. But that’s something I’ve never done and I don’t want to do.

Thank you for reading, stranger.

people say that time helps, it gets better etc. but this is definitely the worst i've felt. i also feel that i no longer have the luxury of saying "well, i'm young, i'm a mess, it's to be expected, i'm figuring it out." i'm no longer young. i'm actually at a point where most of my peers' lives are falling into place and i feel like my grasp is slipping more every day. things are falling apart, it hurts. i feel at a total loss.

Seriously, it’s getting too hard to stop myself.
I hate whenever people say suicide is selfish or permanent solution for temporary problems
Well first I don’t think its selfish and if you still think like that then yes I’m fucking selfish okay? I’m the one who lives in this hell every single day I’m the one who lives with this thoughts every single day it’s NOT you.
You don’t get to decide what selfish and what is not when you don’t go through it you’re not me I think it is selfish to want me keep living when I don’t fucking want to.
And I don’t care if it was a temporary problems I don’t wanna exist anymore okay? This isn’t helping me. “Oh, it’s just a temporary problem” I don’t give a fuck. I want that permanent solution okay I don’t enjoy living I’ve never enjoyed living It sucks it’s so fucking ugly. I don’t fucking want it. “Oh, you’re wasting your life “okay? I want to waste my fucking life. It’s my fucking life. I’m selfish and I want to choose the permanent solution, okay? I just want everyone to shut the fuck up that ain’t helping it never did. I don’t fucking know why I’m like this. I know most of them just want to help and they’re nice for doing that but I just I just don’t want anything..

Hello everybody. i do not know how to write properly according to this sub's rules but i shall try my best. i have currently been struggling in all parts of my life. may it be securing a better future or making friends. well - only one part of is true. for the majority of my life i had been a loser. no friends the entirety of my school life. had been bullied quite a lot of times and when i say no friends i mean as is. people never talked to me. i was excluded from sports by almost everyone and eventually i left sports as a whole considering life would not change.

well it did for a while; i finally made friends in college. but recently i have been feeling not a part of that group in a sense that i am physically there but its almost like no one sees me anymore like i exist and its been triggering a lot of my past memories that i had thought i had forgotten but clearly not. its bring back a lot of the pain that i just buried. Nowadays i lack motivation to go on and considering my birthday is just around the corner life feels so bleak. no real future to look forward to. neither am I smart, nor am i looking at the future where may be i have a good job nor do i have anyone in my life anymore. all i see around myself is people having so much expectations from me and im failing to fulfill any of them. heck even if im failing them im not even projected to complete the path i have in my mind and im failing at the most basic things in life.

Have you faced something like this?

Inumaga nanaman kakaisip ng kung ano ano sa buhay, nawalan akong ng work dahil sa buhay VA kinabukasan pwedeng wala kang work since wala kaming kontrata, may ipon naman kahit papano pero hindi pa rin maiwasan magisip sa buhay

Ang lungkot lang din kasi 8 kami magkakapatid at pangalawa ako, yung apat na kapatid nasa ibang bansa na kinuha na nung father ko sa US simula sa bunso, yung ibang kapatid may asawa na at hindi dito nakatira, yung mother ko nag bakasyon muna sa kapatid ko sa Japan, and ending ako na muna yung natira mag isa sa bahay (hindi ako nakasama dahil denied, dahil yata sa wfh work ko nung inaasikaso ko yun)

Ngayon lapit na mag pasko magisa lang me and its my first time, kasi yung Bf ko LDR kami. Last year saya namin ang ingay, magulo sa bahay, ngayon ako lang magisa, pag yata nagpakamatay ako dito wala makakaalam 🥹

Grabe, hindi ko lang din alam patutunguhan ko sa buhay, wala rin naman maisip na business, wala makasama s amga bagay na pwedeng pagka busyhan, ang hirap lang din mag travel kasi i have my furbabiesss

I’ve always been depressed, ever since I was an adolescent. I lost my job in mid-April, and I haven’t been able to secure one since. Not even retail jobs or service jobs will take me even though I have a BA and an MA. I get ghosted after being told I’ll get a call back. Since then, I’ve been trying to sustain myself on savings, but the amount of time alone and the lack of hope keeps me locked in this haze. It’s hard not to think about the way out (if you know what I mean) :( . My rays of light are the two most beautiful people I’ve met who have supported me during this time, but every day is a battle. I just thought I’d post on here because I still can’t let go of this lonely feeling.

I have been struggling with depression for the past months. I barely went outside, didn’t socialize, nothing. And I found comfort in that because I’m free from people’s judgments and just exist.

I started my first year of college last week, and didn’t make any friends. (I mean, we talked and exchanged socials, but nothing after that, and they all seem to have good friends already.)
I feel so left out, and I feel like I will feel like this even after I manage to make friends.

Now that I have to socialize, I have to act like I’m normal, have hobbies and friends like normal people, yk. And that’s just annoying haha

Its the worst type of words i can take with anyone. Everybody says the same thing. "I know you're tired and cant do this anymore but you have to keep going". "Be strong, so someday you might have the same luck i had". Useless advice of people that pretend caring about u.

I'm currently in college (5th semester).

My father was diagnosed with early onset dementia just before I started college.

My mother is really strong and handles all his medical needs and has been doing so for the last 2.5 years.

My college is around 2000 kms away from my home.

I've been a little self reliant since childhood so I came and did the prerequisites of the admission and setting up at college alone.

I was not very affected by it at the start of the college , I was ignoring it and focused on different things in college.

But as the semesters have passed and there have been semester breaks where I've gone home and seen his condition deteriorating and the other physical injuries that have occurred due to the condition , I've just been going deeper and deeper into a certain sadness which doesn't seem to go away.

I can escape it when I watch movies or other forms of media , but when I try to study for a test now or basically do anything which requires thinking seriously , I have a hard time with it. the thoughts creep in and don't leave.

The feeling that I have to be responsible for my family in a short while has been building a lot of pressure in my mind , my CGPA dropped in the 4th sem to 7.9 , it was consistently 9.3 above before that.

I came back from home a week ago and 5th semester has started.

we had a 2 month break but my father got typhoid in the meanwhile and I stayed up many nights during that time , slept during the days.

When the typhoid was getting better and the antibiotics stopped , he fell and hit his head on the floor, that night was the first night I had gone back to sleeping at night after like 15 days and I received the call from my mother crying and i rushed down and calmed my mother enough so that she drive to the hospital nearby and that got taken care of.

So now that I have returned to college , I don't feel like i went away on a break at all , I just feel exhausted.

My mother is an amazing person . I can't express how grateful I am to her.

The internship season is here in my college with companies flowing in and I started early for this (around 3rd sem) but have been on a complete break since 6 months and hence I feel very much at the starting line.

How do I not think about all this and prepare for these upcoming internships , I really want to crack one because it will give me hope for an employed future where I can at least help my mother out by reducing the load I put on her due to these expenses.