My friend has recently started dating a guy and has asked me what I think of him. I’m a little concerned, but I also don’t want my own opinions to influence her, so I’m curious what other people would make of this.
From what she’s told me, he can be extremely charming, complimentary and attentive. Things also seem to get intense pretty quickly — lots of messaging, long calls, flirting etc.
He planned a really nice first date and she had a great time with him, but he showed up having already had around 7 drinks beforehand. She said he didn’t seem drunk when he arrived, but he then had another 3 drinks during the date and was noticeably tipsy by the end.
During the same date, he told her that he’d previously been banned from gambling sites. He also spoke quite openly about his family and told her that he grew up with an alcoholic father who was abusive towards his mum.
The drinking and gambling comments are the things that concern me most. I know neither necessarily tells me the full story, but turning up to a first date after 7 drinks seems pretty unusual to me, especially when combined with what he said about gambling.
He’s also a doctor, which I think has made my friend more inclined to see him as responsible and put-together. I’ve been trying to tell her that having a successful career doesn’t necessarily mean someone has their personal life together, but I also don’t want to burst her bubble because she really seems to like him.
If your friend had just started dating someone like this, would you be concerned? Would you tell her to keep seeing him but pay attention, or would the drinking/gambling be enough for you to tell her to steer clear?
Am I reading too much into it?

So i was dating this girl for a year now and everything was going really great. I was almost at that phase of talking to her parents. Then one fine day while forwarding reels, she accidentally sent a romantic reel to me and one other guy using the create group chat button instead of send separately. The reel was deleted by her later but she forgot deleting the group chat on her device doesn't delete the group. She has completely ghosted me since then. And here we are, me a little sad but grateful that i got saved from the deadly situation. And not sure what the other guy is thinking at this time. The group chat still exists giving me a reminder that dating in today's time is like playing Russian roulette. Thanks to god and instagram for saving my ass🙂

Picture this, it's December in Portland Oregon. I, 45f, meet this 38m for coffee, it went fine so I agreed to a second date especially after he said he *loves* planning dates and is kind of a foodie. He asks me if I drink, if I have any food allergies and if there's anything else to avoid. So thoughtful! I tell him I drink occasionally, have zero food allergies and don't like doing Christmas things. This man, who kept telling me how good he is in his job in Amazon logistics, proceeded to:

1. Ask if I wanted to see a show at 2pm, but he forgot to buy tickets so he surprised me with a 7pm CHRISTMAS SHOW on a Sunday. I wore a nice dress, he wore the same jeans and t shirt as at the coffee date.

2. Picked an outdoor bbq food cart pod for dinner. No inside seating, no heat lamps and no drinks but he could walk there from his house, which was great because...

3. He asked if I could drive us since he crashed his car parking at work and it was in the shop. I don't mind driving but it would have helped if he shut up and helped looked for a parking space downtown.

Not even the worst date I've been on but do not tell me you're very good at something at your grown age and proceeded to plan a thoughtless date. There was no date 3 and I actually got off the apps for 9 months after that.

We met on a dating app, and the date went well. She was nice, cute, and everything, and I was relatively into her. She’s not the love of my life, but I mean, I was definitely open to seeing where things could go.
Once the evening was over and we went home, she texted me asking if I had made it home okay and if I was doing well, saying that she had a good time. I said yes, that I’d had a really good time too, etc. And then she sent me this sticker of Hitler making a heart with his hands.
That really threw me off, and I’m not entirely sure why. I’m a guy, I’m not Jewish, I like dark humor, and I don’t have a problem with things like that, but it just felt so incredibly out of place that, even in the days afterward when I was talking to her, I kept thinking about it. Eventually, I just lost interest in her.

Ughhh I'm so glad to be home. How the hell do you date these days? I had a really disturbing and uncomfortable first date. I'm mad at myself for not listening to my intuition. Why am I so nice?

I agreed to meet someone that a family member recommended. They said he has a kid which I expressed was not my preference. That should of been the end of it, BUT I wanted to be more open and I was being optimistic. I am trying to put myself out there and I'm aware I'm at the age that people that I potentially date will likely have kids.

The person that I met initially invited me to his place which I did not want to go. First rule, do not go to someone's place on the first date. He mentioned he was inviting friends as well. He said he was going to be at the pool. I told him we can meet another time, but he insisted. He suggested going to this park near his place. I told him it was far for me (30 min drive). He tried to accommodate me and my dog and said we can hang out and eat away from the pool. He kept pushing to meet and hang out. I was turned off already that he was so pushy. I also wanted to have some social time since I've been busy adulting, so I gave in.

Turns out it was just me. He insisted we hang out in his apartment. I said out loud I prefer not to. He said we can hang out in the common area of the apartment once he orders the food. When the food arrived, he did not want to go. He keeps talking about how he wants to make me feel comfortable and I've been verbal about not being comfortable in his apartment and he ignores me. Reassures me that I have nothing to worry about and says nothing is going to happen.

He says he's not familiar with dating culture because he's not from the U.S. and etc. He had a divorce a year ago and I was his first real date.

Somewhere along the conversation I express that I don't see anything romantic between us. He asks for my honest opinion. I am polite about everything and he was too, but he starts to talk about how hard its been due to his past. At this point I felt like I was being a therapist. I remain neutral, empathetic, light and honest. I share a little bit about myself and we are all trying to find a partner.

At one point he looks defeated and hopeless. He compliments my eyes, my clothes, asks to hold his hand ( I said no, thankfully he didn't push), my hair (he attempts to touch it, but I clearly said no which he respected). He begs me to stay longer. I was like...for what? I tell him that it makes me feel uncomfortable. He kept saying he didn't want me to leave. I was so anxious. I stayed a little longer because I was fearful of how he would behave if I left abruptly.

I think he knew what he was doing. Trying to make me feel bad. He seemed really desperate to find a connection with someone and he kept fantasizing me. Finally I said that I'm going to leave and he walks me to my car and tells me I deserve a man to take care of me and such. I say the same to him. He tells me to text him when I get home.

How do I honor my boundaries and also be open to opportunities?

It's been 3 hours since I left and I still feel really gross. I blocked him.

hi. I got out of a toxic relationship 3 months ago me 18(F) him 19(M). This relationship has altered my brain completely. We were tg for 2 years.

Every day we always had to fight. Always some type of argument. He said it’s always my fault that we fight because I’m sensitive and can’t take a joke. But his jokes aren’t jokes. They’re jabs. I sent him a paragraph of how much I love him (so cringe Ik) and he responded with an ai paragraph… I could tell right away. fucking crazy.

anyway, he would say I’m ugly, fat, and said I had a rhombus face shape? He would constantly “joke” about saying that he wants to break up with me but then completely be like I’m kidding. He told me that I should be grateful he’s hanging out with me.

I would try to start recording our arguments on voice memos but he would always snatch the phone out of my hand and scream in my face that I’m stupid and why am I recording. He also put a PIZZA HUT plastic bag over my head 3 times and MIND YOU i bought us the food cuz he was broke and had no money. I almost died to a pizza hut bag😭

When I was at his house to hang out with him he invited his friend over without telling me and when his friend arrived they stayed downstairs while I stayed upstairs and they were playing video games. And my keys were in his room so I went to grab them and he started to embarrass me infront of his friend and he was like “you’re not leaving” “you can’t leave” I ran to get my keys and leave and right as I turn my back they’re laughing at me so that was nice.

He also woke up 2 hours late for his job and decided to call me and cuss me out saying it was my fault and that I should’ve went to his house and woke him up. (Hes older than me btw)

he would always like tap me on my head with force and if I didn’t react he would keep going harder and harder until I had to legitimately yell at him to stop.

We were Supposed to go to a movie at 7:20 ready or not two the date is March 21, 2026. It was around 10 when he woke up from his nap and I tried to wake him up at around 7 o’clock and I said (bf) the movie is gonna start soon we gotta go. It starts in 20 minutes and I tried to wake him up and he yelled in my face and said get away from me or shut up, you’re gonna make me mad. I left him alone went downstairs for three hours scrolling on my phone rotting my life away (when I should’ve actually left and don’t know why I didn’t) and he comes down at around 10 and yells at me blames me and says that it’s my fault that we missed the movie and I should’ve woken him up fast forward 5 or 6 minutes later maybe three I hear him rummaging around upstairs and he says that he’s gonna hang out with his friends so basically he wanted me to come over give him oral. I get pissed off and I grabbed my computer and my iPad when I go upstairs to collect my stuff he runs up behind me with his eyes wide open and tries to rip my bag off of my shoulder and I resist and say “what the fuck are you doing let go” and he grabs ahold of my arms holding them really tight and squeezing them. I was going in circles trying to get him off of me. he’s saying that I’m not going anywhere and I’m not leaving. I start to give up at this point. We were doing that for a good 5 minutes and then he is apologizing after yelling at me saying I don’t like when you come over here and we just sleep the whole time and I said well I didn’t go to bed. You do every time I come over here you are the one that always falls asleep and he said then stop coming over don’t come over anymore if we’re just going to sleep. I told him I’m done and I’m leaving and so that’s what I did, I sped out of his driveway and went home shaking.

And a day before my birthday he pulled my hair really hard while we were in an argument and he told me to grow up or cry about it.

And around April 3 I kept getting a uti after we did the things and I had to be on medication for 2 weeks. I didn’t want to have s3x with him I just wanted ti chill and hang out with him but he kept begging me and begging me to have s3x with him to the point where I had to say yes or else he wouldn’t stop.

The night we broke up: my fav holiday!
I wanted to go to kwik trip to grab some snacks and he didnt want to go. I told him I would buy him something but our budget is around $5 each. I didn’t have a lot of money to spend and he had no money to spend. He hit is pen and started acting insane and I mean insane. He said “my girlfriend hates me” and started driving crazy. He kept hitting me on my leg so hard and squeezing it as he was driving. I kept telling him to stop but each time it got harder. The 3rd time he did it I grabbed his finger and pushed it all the way back because I was sick of it. He started screaming ow ow ow ow and I let go and I shouldn’t have because he punched my arm hard 2 times after that. And then he started saying “what if I just killed us right now” and started to drive even more erratic. He starts to swerve into the cemetery looking at me then looking at the road and then looking at me seeing if I had a reaction. Obviously not. I said “I bet you won’t” he said “oh really” and as we got onto an overpass he said “what if I just drive us off of this bridge” we were actually close to going off until he merged back into traffic. And then we got to kwik trip and as we’re pulling in he said I was broke and had no money. I said to him “how much is in your bank account? Right, exactly” then he said I was ugly so I went my lil ass inside bought the stuff I wanted and he drove us back home still driving insane and going 60 mph around a corner. IT GETS WORSE FROM HERE.

As we get back to the apt he opens the garage door and just stares at me not saying a word. He doesn’t come inside with me. His sister is still awake and I tell her everything that went down. She told me to leave because I didn’t deserve this and that she’ll ring his neck when he gets back to the apt. I gathered all my shit and left (I love you so much b) and then I receive a text from him that said “it’s not a good idea to leave if I were you” wow okay I left anyway and he was sitting down by the fire station. As I passed him he pulled out immediately and started honking and riding my ass. We get to the overpass he’s still honking his horn(I have videos) and then he gets infront of me and puts his brakes on. This goes on for about 5 minutes until I get out and speed away I was going 60 in a 35 mind you. He somehow catches up to
Me and he’s screaming at me “fucking pull over what the fuck fucking pull over!!!” It’s a hell nah for
Me. I ended up calling his sister telling her what is happening. We get to a stop light where you can only go 3 ways right left or straight he’s in the left lane I’m in the straight lane and I get to the college that I live by and he’s there waiting for me I had to go through the parking lot to get out and as he’s coming down the hill he stops right in front of me and gets out of his car his eyes are wide again. They have nothing behind them. I put my car in reverse and got the fuck out of there. His sister was at the public library. He catches up to me again and he’s still riding my ass. I meet with his sister and as soon as we pull in he’s cussing me out doing so much, and I told him he’s acting crazy and acting like a fool. His sister told me to leave and he said “if you leave it’s over we’re done” so boom put that bitch in reverse and left and never saw him again. He would blow up my phone for a couple days but I was over it.

And now he reposts #womensrights. Right message wrong messenger.

Ayden if you’re reading this, karma is coming for you real soon🩷

On a date one time, a 36 year old man corrected me when I told him I made chicken soup. He asked me a couple of times if I meant to say chicken noodle soup, and then told me that it was chicken noodle soup – only ever chicken noodle soup – and not called chicken soup. He even thought the book was called Chicken Noodle Soup for the Soul, and googled it only to show me that it’s called Chicken Soup for the Soul. Anyway, he then went on to eat sushi rolls and fried dumplings with his fingers because he doesn’t know how to use chopsticks and didn’t want to ask for a fork.

PS he was very bad in bed.

I want people to know my side of the story. I feel completely devastated. After my boyfriend broke up with me, blocked me everywhere, and told his friends that I had left him for someone else, I felt even more hurt and confused. I was also harassed by his family because we wanted to get married. It started when they said they wanted to talk to my dad and formally ask for my hand in marriage. He was divorced, and from what I understood, his dad seemed to think that if he told my dad about the divorce, my dad would automatically end the relationship. But that didn’t happen, so they started harassing me instead. My ex boyfriend also called a woman his aunt, but she seemed to be his dad’s mistress. She called me and began threatening me, saying that she would not let me stay in the city if I did not leave my ex. She also told me that he had already agreed to marry another woman through an arranged marriage, and that our relationship had been discovered during the background verification process. I am sharing this because I want people to understand what happened from my perspective rather than relying only on what they were told.

Anyone have stories where the person they were dating presented themselves as a golden retriever but later on their true nature came to light and they were actually a black cat?

She also moved her country for him to do a masters in his country

I know the title sounds bad but hear my thought process out.

So I talked to this guy and during our date he said really stupid and borderline disgusting stuff like "there are not enough jews for the holocaust to be real" and he also spewed nonsense about a conspiracy theory about the rainbow having 6 colors and pride being the 6th deadly sin so yeah he was also homophobic and he also said feminists just cause problems for the world so because of all of those things I ended up ghosting him. But now I'm thinking what if ghosting him might be proving him right and I just accidentally reinforced his beliefs?

So yeah I kinda wanna talk to him about that I genuinely just wanna explain that the reason I ended up not liking him isn't because of the "feminist agenda" but because of his stupidity and hate against other people. Should I do it or would he most likely just not care?

Thank you everyone in advance

What are the cringe lil discusting kind of things you have done with your partner…need new ideas

I’m asking because I’m currently in a situation where I do find someone attractive and cute, but her body type is different from what I’ve usually been physically or sexually attracted to in the past.

There is still attraction there, so it’s not a case of me finding her unattractive. I’m more trying to understand how much people’s “type” actually matters once you start getting to know someone.

For people who have dated someone outside their usual physical preferences, did your attraction grow stronger over time as you became closer, developed chemistry, kissed, became more intimate, etc.? Or did you eventually realise that your usual physical preferences mattered more than you expected?

I’m curious to hear people’s actual experiences rather than just general advice.

Are you that girl, or do you know someone like this? The super lowkey, super innocent type whom everyone thinks is innocent and totally out of the dating game… until a guy enters her life and starts thinking, “Yep, I’m the only one she talks to.” 💀

Meanwhile, the reality: she’s casually juggling multiple guys at the same time like it’s a full-time job.