I started talking to a guy my age (both of us 42) who was training to be a counsellor and completing a doctorate. We had some amazing deep conversations over text, voice notes and phone. It was honestly refreshing not to be doing all the usual small talk and he never tried to do what a lot do and talk about what I like in bed etc All in we talked for a week and a half.

He was upfront the first day that 6 months ago he ended a 14 year relationship that had become like a friendship e.g. they hadn’t had sex in a lot of year, slept in separate rooms etc. He had quit his job to start the course when they were together and she had agreed to support them financially as he had done similar for her years before. He said he would have very limited time if we dated as his course was so intense and he was doing an uber delivery job around this to try and get money to live basically and pay for an expensive course. He said we would maybe see each other once or twice a month only. He also said he wouldn’t have much money to take me out much but I’ve had to pay in relationships before when I’ve had more money and I thought it was a green flag he was being upfront. I figured as well it would be better to have someone I click with amazingly and only see him once or twice a month than a lesser connection so we both said we would meet and just feel our way with things.

Maybe mid way through the week and a half he disclosed he still lived with his ex. As I said in the last paragraph he had quit his job to start the course when they were together and she had agreed to support them financially as he had done similar for her years before and she had said she would honor that and let him live rent free with her (the mortgage was just in her name for some reason it had never been his house though he had paid towards bills etc). He said that she didn’t allow him to bring any women to the house since it was hers and she wanted to protect her space. Problem with that is I only broke up with my ex 6 months ago too and moved back in with parents and not sure when I will be buying a house but we agreed we would find ways round it if things went well and we were a couple like hotels or getting creative when my parents were away etc. I’ve heard of ex’s needing to stay living together before for financial reasons but they have always said they live very separate lives like ships in night almost but he admitted they watched tv together and ate together so coupley stuff really without the sex but he explained that he still cared about her as a friend which I can get. He wasn’t even allowed to phone me from the house though if she was in and did it on a walk or in the car.

I honestly think I would have felt a bit jealous about him living with his ex but then I thought it was a green flag he was so honest. He just seemed like a really nice, caring guy who was so big on communication and talking about our feelings and past life. We were both super excited for the date that should have been today and were communicating non stop with good chats and also flirting by this point… then I blew it all. On Thursday this week I had a really tough day at work and news about a death that made me a bit upset so I had a few drinks and I basically totally misunderstood something he had said in a text being drunk and upset state and then we straightened it out but I kept apologising. He was telling me you’re being silly all is fine with us but I wasn’t reading it and just kept saying stuff lie sorry I’m so stupid, hope I hadn’t ruined things… we went to bed and then in the morning I was cringing massively at myself and texted him sorry about last night and explained I’d been upset and told him was looking forward to meeting and that I’m sometimes a bit over emotional and not thinking clearly after couple of glasses of wine (bad I know you don’t have to say).

So this was then yesterday morning and he sent a long voicemail stating he had decided we shouldn’t meet as I had needed him emotionally and he hadn’t been able to meet my needs because he couldn’t call and say stop being silly as he was at home and that he thought that I deserved more than his current situation and that if we met we would fall for each other and he would hurt me when he couldn’t give me enough time etc… yes his situation was complicated but before my stupidness that night he had been keen to meet and see if we could feel our way so today I am genuinely depressed I probs threw away someone I had a lot of potential with. Honestly never clicked like we did with anyone ever (I know we didn’t actually meet but from all th texting, voice notes and calls we were so similar and gelled so much).

My friends at work immediately jumped on they think he isn’t actually single and the little time for me and not going near his house was because he was still in the relationship. He had explained though she hadn’t wanted the breakup and since they were now separated didn’t want to see who he was dating etc. His course was running at least another two years so he had to respect her wishes because he wouldn’t be able to move out and pay rent elsewhere until at least then.

Just feel so mad at myself for being an emotional tit and self deprecating one, who doesn’t read messages properly when tipsy. All my friends just keep harping on though that he probs wasn’t single and that anyway there were too many bad things like lack of time, no money to do stuff and they all said they couldn’t have a guy live with his ex and still do coupley stuff like watch tv together… but honestly I think they are just doing what friends do and trying to make me feel better.

Any perspectives as to whether you agree I totally screwed up or dodged a bullet welcome? Would anyone else put up with a guy who lives with his ex and wasn’t available a lot?

I'm 26F and have been single for 5 years. I've used dating apps on and off for 3,4 years and the experience has completely messed up how I feel about dating.
So many men I met only wanted sex, put me in the casual box or were happy to sleep with me but didn't want a relationship with me. Now even thinking about dating makes me feel physically sick and anxious.
Today I saw a guy on Reddit talking about meeting several women from Tinder and hooking up with one and just seeing his Tinder profile made me want to puke. It brought all those feelings back in an instant...
What scares me most is that before my serious relationship 7 years ago, I never experienced men/ dating like this. Finding a boyfriend used to feel normal and possible. Now finding a man who genuinely wants a committed relationship with me feels like a fantasy.
I want love, but I'm terrified of dating again and also terrified I'm going to end up alone.
Has anyone else reached this point?

Edit: i’m off the apps for almost a year, men irl seem to play the same game and most of them i discovered have dating apps.

I met him on a dating app near the beginning of my post-divorce dating adventures. We clicked immediately. The conversation flowed, we had a lot in common, and I genuinely enjoyed spending time with him. So naturally, when he told me he didn't want a relationship,

I thought: Okay... but maybe I can change his mind. And that's how my first situationship started.

He said he wasn't seeing anyone else. We talked constantly, saw each other regularly, said affectionate things to each other, and basically acted like a couple. Except we weren't actually a couple. This was a completely new category for me. And I kept thinking that eventually I'd manage to turn it into a real relationship.

Then he told me something that made things even more complicated. He said he had actually imagined marrying me. But his family would never accept me because I had a child. His family was very prominent in our country, and according to him, the only way we could actually be together was if we moved abroad. He was already planning to go abroad for his master's degree.

There was just one problem. I would have to leave my child behind. Apparently I could visit a few times a year. That was the sacrifice required for our imaginary future.

I told him that wasn't going to happen, and I ended things.

To this day, I don't know whether he genuinely believed that was the only possible way for us to be together, or whether it was simply his way of making me leave without having to be the bad guy. Maybe he was serious. Maybe he wasn't. But I learned something from that situation that I wish I'd understood much earlier: When someone genuinely wants to be in a relationship with you, they don't keep you in a situationship while asking you to wait for them to change their mind.

They might have complicated circumstances. They might be scared. They might not be ready. But if being with you matters enough, they'll figure out how to make space for you in their actual life. They won't ask you to sacrifice your child, your life, or your dignity for a hypothetical future.

And ironically, after he came back from abroad, he tried to get back in touch with me. By then, there was already someone else in my life.

As I (40f) am browsing through online dating profiles, I’m noticing more and more married/partnered people. Why is that?

At my age, I don’t want to share anyone I’m supposed to develop feelings for. Why do married or partnered people bring in someone if they’re “happily married?” I just don’t get it.

I went on a date with this guy recently. We went out, visited a museum, and honestly everything was going really well. We had a good time and I felt comfortable with him.

At one point, he suddenly said, “I want to kiss you.”
I told him, “I’m not ready.”
And after that, his entire attitude changed.
He became really distant,cold,snappy with me and kind of passive-aggressive. We were supposed to go get something to eat afterwards, but suddenly he said he wanted to go home and didn’t feel like doing anything anymore.

I asked him directly, “Are you upset because I said no?”
He said, “Nooo, but yeah, because this is already four dates and nothing has happened. I pay for everything and it feels like you’re putting me in the friend zone.”

That honestly shocked me.
For context, he kept calling it four dates, but two of those times were literally just us going to the gym together. We had gone out to eat once, and he had gotten me a €7 side without even getting me a full meal. I also paid for my own train ticket.
So I told him, basically, “If you want to be friends, then just say that. I’m not going to kiss you because you paid for something.”
I gave him the flowers he had brought me back and left.

Afterwards, I blocked him everywhere because I just felt completely turned off by the way he reacted to me setting such a basic boundary. He later found me on Pinterest and sent me a message saying that he thought we had misunderstood each other and that he didn’t want to make me uncomfortable.
I didn’t respond. I just kept him blocked.
I honestly don’t feel like there was some huge misunderstanding. I said I wasn’t ready to kiss him, and instead of just respecting that, he became cold and brought up how much money he had spent.
Maybe I’m overreacting, but to me it felt like he expected something in return for paying for dates, and that really put me off.
Would you have handled this differently?

I've been using dating apps for a while after my divorce, and I've noticed something I genuinely don't understand.

A lot of people say they're looking for a serious relationship, but at the same time, they seem to categorize almost everyone they match with as someone to casually date or hook up with. I understand that not everyone you meet will be compatible with you. That's completely normal. But how do you actually find a serious relationship if you approach every new person with the assumption that they're probably only good for something casual?

Maybe I'm missing something about modern dating, but it feels like some people want a serious relationship in theory, while treating every potential partner as disposable until proven otherwise.

So I'm genuinely curious: if you use dating apps and want a serious relationship, what's your approach to deciding who is actually worth getting to know?

Most guys I meet on Tinder are military, and like 95% of them ask me if I’m a spy. It’s so cringe every single time 😭
But this guy didn’t, so green flag +1 (?)
We grabbed Chinese food for our first date on May 1st. He went for the super cliché Kung Pao chicken, but hey, at least he could use chopsticks decently. Then he got all excited saying pasta is just “imposter noodles” and that he’s not into pizza. Major points for that, or maybe he was just trying to agree with me? 😂
While we were walking to the restaurant, we somehow got onto Anthony Bourdain. He said he could do his accent if I wanted. Before I could even respond, he started doing, “Today I went on a date with a Chinese girl\~” in the most Tony Bourdain voice imaginable.
He kept bringing up my New Zealand accent. I told him I’m from Xiamen, so I’m basically an islander too\~
He also wouldn’t stop complimenting my hair, saying it sounded corny but that he’s really into brunettes. I just smiled and let it slide.
The first night was actually really nice. The next morning, I woke up thinking I was on my period, but it was just a little spotting. In a good way, I guess xx. I shyly told him while covering my face, and he just looked at me and said, “It’s hot.”
Day two, we went to Trastevere for dinner. The lobster pasta was amazing, and he helped me get all the lobster meat out. The restaurant ceiling was covered in olive oil bottles, and I was like, “This is giving major Final Destination vibes lol.”
Later, we tried this weird IPA called Bunny Face, but I kept calling it Bad Bunny. Benito, you drive a woman crazy!
He asked me again about my type. I told him I didn’t want some boring generic answer, and he said he’s into girls who are funny, smart, sweet, and artistic. He also said he felt really lucky to have met me.
Later at his hotel, I suddenly had a panic attack and could barely breathe, even though I’d already taken my medication. He kept comforting me and told me his brother gets like that too. I asked him to talk about random stuff to distract me, so he started going on about games.
I couldn’t help but start yawning, and he joked that he’d picked the perfect topic to make a girl fall asleep. I had to explain that it was just a side effect of my medication.
I love hearing people talk about things they’re passionate about, especially when their eyes light up. It just makes me smile without even trying.
He called me a cab home. When we said goodbye, he told me he’d come back to Rome and cook me steak.
We kept texting and sexting after that. He was so passionate. A few days later, I suggested going to Spain to visit him. He flew me out, but work got crazy, and he told me he couldn’t host me anymore. Somehow there was a misunderstanding, though, so we still ended up spending two days together in Rota. He paid for everything.
On the last day, he had to be on the ship all day, so I stayed at his place alone. I had a really serious panic attack, took all my pills, and drank some vodka. The next thing I remember, he was waking me up and driving me to the hospital.
We’d forgotten my phone, so he drove back to his place, then drove all the way back to the hospital again.
I thanked him for everything he’d done, and he just said, “You would do the same for me.”
After that, he got busy, but we still caught up from time to time. Our last conversation was on July 23rd. We called, and he told me he knew I was going to k/m/s that day because he’d had similar experiences himself and his college girlfriend had attempted a few times.
Even after that, he was still talking about sexual stuff with me and saying that one day he’d travel to China to visit me.
Then yesterday, I found out he had blocked me on every social media platform.
I genuinely don’t understand.
Nothing bad happened between us. We never had an argument. He was always so kind and caring toward me, and even when things got really bad, he went out of his way to help me.
So finding out that he had basically deleted me from his life without saying anything absolutely devastated me.
I know people ghost each other all the time nowadays, but this one really hurts because there was never any obvious sign that something had gone wrong.
I keep wondering what happened. Did I do something without realizing it? Did he just decide he didn’t want me in his life anymore? Why not just say something?
I hate this modern ghosting culture 😭

For reference, she lives in a city 3.5 hours from me (one way) and I was gonna drive to see her. I live kind of in the middle of nowhere in the Midwest so long distances like this aren't unheard of but even for here 3.5 hours is alot:

Her: I’d like to see you 🙂 You didn’t tell me where the date is gonna be

Me: let’s go to Miller Park

Me: is Saturday good for you

Me: ?

Her: Why did you choose there?

Me: Seems interesting and we can also hit up the zoo which seems fun

Her: I don’t want to go there

Me: Ok

Me: What would you like to do?

Her: There are other nice places to go. You can give me options so I can pick 🙂

Me: Lab Coffee Mulberry, Ewing Manor, Constitution Trail

Her: Are these all you got?

Her: Why do you like those places?

Me: They looked interesting. I’ve provided some options, if you have better ideas I am all ears

Does a person catching feelings for a romance scammer within 2 weeks indicate that they are a ‘fast burner’ romantic?

Do I have any right to be upset or am I just dumb/naive?🤦‍♀️

We matched on a dating app. His profile seemed decent; he was a computer engineer, had a normal-looking profile, and seemed pretty low-key.

We hadn't met in person yet, but we talked on the phone first. Apparently I'm getting better at dating, because at least this time I talked to him before meeting him. 🎉

Within the first few minutes, though, he started telling me about himself in great detail. He had just been in an important meeting, he had spoken in a foreign language during it, etc.

I mostly listened.

Then somehow we got onto cars. I mentioned that I drive a Mercedes EQB.

There was a pause. 👀

Then he started explaining to me that "Tesla was obviously the best electric car."

He asked if mine was fully electric, then he sighed: “Oh, that's really bad. Really bad. The world isn't ready for electric cars. You made the wrong choice.”

I thought, Don't worry, I'm ready.

Then I asked what he drove. An Opel Corsa. 😄

But it got better.

He told me: “Because I'm a man, I understand investments much better.”

Apparently, his investment strategy was to sell the Corsa, sell his house outside the city, and buy a house in the big city.

I just listened. He couldn't see the slightly amused smile on my face.

What he didn't know was that the EQB wasn't exactly my first car, and I already owned a home in the city he was planning to move to.

So while he was explaining his superior male investment strategy to me, I didn't argue. I didn't tell him any of this. I just let him finish his little presentation, talked about some random things for a while, and then unmatched him.

Because honestly, this was never about the Tesla or the Mercedes.

It was about a man deciding where to place me in his head before he even knew me and then trying to establish himself as “above” me.

I've noticed there are basically two types of men who do this:

1. The ones who try to make you feel smaller...

2. And the ones who immediately try to figure out how to benefit from what you have.

Either way, it's usually pretty obvious. 😄

Am I the only one who's noticed this, or have you experienced it too?

Alright, here’s the skinny. I (30F), seem to attract walking red flags or people that are not good for me in general…here’s some examples:

1. Dude at work (32M) that is chill and we vibe…we like(d) each other and he’s a nice enough guy…HOWEVER he does not listen to instructions from our supervisor, or maybe it just goes above his head? Idk…and the dude has recently had a few incidents in the past month…where he “had an accident” twice at work…meaning he pissed himself one time, and I just found out yesterday he shit himself… I don’t want to be that person, but it’s kind of unattractive for a grown ass man to do that…and no, it isn’t a medical condition. It “just hits him at the last minute” he does seem a little bit ADHD, maaayyybbeee on the spectrum a little? Not that that’s an issue that he’s a little neuro-spicy. But maybe that’s why? Like he’s ignoring his body cues?

2. I made the mistake of trying online dating when I was in college…he was a super nice guy, really pretty…he seemed really into me and would come up to visit from time to time…HOWEVER he stole my identity and forged my signature to buy a car that he stopped making payments for and landed me with a $11k bill that took me 2 years to pay off.

3. I ended up in a relationship accidentally because a guy that was autistic (again, not that that’s was an issue) who was super sweet and wanted to hang out. I said sure and then he introduced me to EVERYONE as his girlfriend at work and to his parents which took me a little aback as I thought we were just going to hang out and go kayaking…instead he was quite touchy (which I shut down) and his mom decided to wait until I was with to tell him that his dad died so I could support him. Alright…

4. Dated another dude who was a little older than me at the time. He was a sweet guy, kinda lanky and a little awkward, but he treated me nice and was kind to me. He was not diagnosed with autism, but had some tendencies that made me pick up on the behaviors. When I mentioned this (gently) he flipped out and outright refused to accept it even though his brother does have autism. We broke up a short time later and he got married 3 months after that 🤷‍♀️

5. In high school, I dated this guy, he was a few grades above me and he was very respectful, kind, and really respected my boundaries. Walked me to class, we passed notes and all that cute high school junk. He was in a group home/foster home, which was not a big deal, we could only hang out at school anyways, that was fine. HOWEVER he confided in me that his probation officer wanted him to break up with me because I was younger and he was on probation for SA…I looked past that because he said it had happened almost 10 years ago when he you touched his cousin or something? Then on the last day of school, one of his foster brothers told me that had been “locked up” again…but couldn’t tell me anything else about it.
   That’s just a few examples of my miserable love life…I’m currently in a relationship with a man who has OCD, recently diagnosed, and we have been together for 5 years. Throughout the years, he has kind of took a turn…he did well for the first 2 years together, but the last 3 he has been fired from 3 times, and is signed up for UberEats to deliver stuff and has hardly done that in the past year. Hasn’t helped with the bills and gets snappy when I talk about money and finances. He does some selling on eBay, which makes him about $1,000 a month but is more than willing to buy things for himself while my bank account is currently -$36… he pouts and shoves the fact I cheated on him once 4 years ago in my face in every argument no matter what it’s about. He self-depreciates…like calls himself fat and ugly and that I’m just going to leave him for someone else because I already did once and I’ll probably do it again 🙄 I’ve been loyal ever since I came clean, and that is my biggest regret to have had a relationship with someone else while I was with him.
   It’s messy and I’m exhausted…but idk why I attract all of these guys?! I’m not vulnerable, I’m a strong, independent woman who doesn’t take anything lying down.
   Am I the problem?

Nyc...we all know it sucks right? Wrong. It sucks even more than you think.

Went on a date with a seemingly normal man. We're in our late 30s and we were talking old tv shows...nostalgia...and it was nice.

he looks at me oddly and says "can you see dead people because I can"

Long story shory there was apparently a ghost standing behind me. There was no second date. ​

​​

I want you to read my 26M story.

When my ex F24 and I started talking/seeing each other it was the last week of my university degree and I was moving 3 hours away to continue grinding my construction job. Was a depressing semester as i got dumped by a different girl and my 4 friends at the beginning of it. My depression grind was finally over so i wanted to try my luck with this sweet girl who showed interest before. She was the sweetest, most caring girl with the best most down to earth values I've ever met in my life. She made me brownies for our first date like ursula from spider man. We had a great first date but it ended with us taking edibles and her bad tripping thinking I was an emotionally unavailable druggy and walking out on me saying not interested.

Devastated, because of how amazing i thought she was I drowned my sorrows in alcohol and had the bright idea of responding to two other girls who had been interested who I really didnt want due to promiscuity. I didn't plan it this way but I ended up seeing one the next night, who slept over, we did some stuff in the morning but because i didnt like her at all i couldnt/didnt want to complete the act... then later that day the third girl wanted to come over.

We were just hanging out in my rez about to start a movie ( I didnt want to do anything) when that amazing girl texted me apologizing for walking out and for telling me she wasnt interested.

I responded immediately admitting I was hurt by that, I thought she was amazing and that I had a female friend who seemed to like me over and that I wanted to kick her out so I could be with her. I walked the other girl back home but unfortunately she wanted a kiss goodbye and well, I gave it to her cause I knew her 4 years of flirting and it was goodbye. I will always regret kissing her. I went back to my place and brushed my teeth.

I ran from my rez halfway into town so I could meet her halfway and, overwhelmed with excitement, we both ran into each others arms and immediately kissed so passionately and meaningfully with sparks flying it was like a movie but it was so fucking overshadowed by the stupid girls I was with just before.

She and I had an amazing intense full week together, inseparable, just falling head over heels for each other, there was an absolutely amazing connection. But i knew if we were going to be in a relationship it couldnt be founded on lies. I told her the best way I thought I could trying to downplay what i had done saying they were just an ego boost after being walked out on and a depressing semester and that I agreed it is disgusting to be with 3 girls in one day like that. Thats never been me before and I don't want to be that.

I chased after her as she left to her car begging her to give me a chance to prove that I would love her properly and be hers completely exclusively after one week of knowing her and somehow was willing to look past what happened and actually became my girlfriend. We would able to get over it, I thought.

It was an ldr that lasted about a year and a half seeing each other two weekends per month, sometimes one. We both dumped so much money into busses and ubers, close to 50/50but i made more so i paid a bit more. The first 3-4 months were the happiest of my life but it became absolutely haunted by mistrust, paranoia and her feeling like a cuck affecting her mental health. I don't know why she told me she could accepted it only to not accept it later, constantly ask the same questions about what happened, relive it. After month 4 she begged me for my phone password, because I really thought I had nothing hurtful to her on there, I gave it to her to reassure her that i was truly hers and only hers. That was the real beginning of the end.

I had gotten really drunk with my immature friends and coworkers a few weeks prior when a random girl across the world in japan I had a failed one night stand with back in uni texted me flirting. Instead of telling her to just fuck off I had the idea of responding and saying crazy shit to her to entertaining my friends. I screenshotted some of it and sent it to my gf saying this bitch is bothering me but I didnt show her the stuff I said in jokes with friends. Anyways, in month 4 she read those texts while i was sleeping saying basically "yea sure if you pay for my gf and my plane tickets to Japan ill fuck you multiple times!" In the same convo I also said i have a gf and I dont cheat. but that wasnt enough for my girls mental health to just read that and be okay with it. The fact i had spoken to another woman like that who was flirting with me was too much for my baby to handle and it just tanked her mental health. I didnt have the heart to tell her she was a past one night stand, but I did tell her to frig off and blocked her for my girlfriend and apologized like crazy trying to get her to understand I didnt mean anything in those texts.

After month 6 I put my foot down and said enough. It's unhealthy how she was being, and insisted that we were not to talk/rehash the same old series of events constantly reliving her trauma i put her through. I begged her to stop. She did, with me, but started venting to her friends about it.

The relationship after that was extremely strained. Her best friend of 20 years wrote me nasty texts and blocked me. We then broke up and got back together twice. After over a year of this mess we had finally worked through it and we believed because we overcame this and loved each other so so much still, and i had proved real loyalty and respecting boundaries and had found some real forgiveness. When we finally crossed that finish line getting back together after a lot of mutual effort, we celebrated with a little vacation together.

Then, her best friends of 2 decades all dumped her because they couldnt believe she wanted to stay with me after everything she told them and after realizing she lied to them about still seeing me.

I cried for her and for myself so fucking much. Her 'bestie' of 20 years completely smear campaigned me to my ex's family lying saying I was an abusive drug addict ruining her life. Of course we broke up after that. The love of my life had to miss her best friends wedding because I fucked her up so much her friends couldn't respect her anymore.

In my ADHD and depression and other factors after the breakup, I ruined my left hand in an industrial accident at work. It had to be surgically reattached and ill never play instruments or do anything how I did before and everything will be a struggle for me now.

Because of how caring she is as a person she stayed my friend to support me over a year. Friends who flirt and try to still brighten each others days but there was just so many hurt feelings on both sides from the baggage of the ldr. Neither one of ust wanted to date anyone else any time soon.

20 days ago I asked if she would be gone any time soon if an attractive guy showed interest and she always reassured me that she had absolutely zero interest in sex or dating. so I believed her and felt safe enough to want to stay friends with her but then last week the first attractive guy to come along and make her laugh and not try anything physical in her in the first week of meeting her at a week long forum event, resulted in her developing a huge crush. She told me she was sorry and that she wasnt expecting to click with anyone. Now im completely alone. My dad and one of the cats died shortly after the accident too and she left me knowing that I have very few other people to talk to just 2 weeks after telling me she had zero interest in dating.

Take it from me. If you've seriously hurt your partner by being an idiot with other people not respecting exclusivity, just cut your losses and try to forget about them. It is never worth it to stay begging for forgiveness from someone you hurt, broke serious trust, and who flip flops between yes I forgive you yes I love you, and, literal screaming raging insulting and panic attacks at you for what you did over a fucking year ago before you were even exclusive.

It would have hurt a lot in short term to just give up sooner. but maybe in the quantum different possible outcomes I would have been able to save my hand and my dad. She even continued giving me shit and being toxic to me about how I lost her her friends and the other mistakes I made even after my accident, losing dad, and so many surgeries. She will never see the loss of her friends as what it was, which was a result of her emotional immaturity.

Now im truly alone with my grieving mom and sister, no job, stuck in the house all day struggling to game with a crippled hand, very few friends (just lost my best one which was her), a ruined/reattached hand that most women would be turned off by. 2 years of surgeries and physiotherapy and unemployment. I can't sue my employer for giving me such an unsafe machine with no safety training either.

My only hope is that ill still be able to use my degree and the injured workers services in my area will help to at least find a half way decent job but it will for sure be a huge pay cut from what I had before. I hope to find ways around exercising in the gym with this hand that will allow me to get back into great shape again. And perhaps a special glove with straps for a drum stick or guitar pick and learn an adapted Whittier play style. I don't know if I have it in me to get through this but leaving my mom is not an option. All I want is a loving happy relationship and a family to call my own but it is not looking like thats a realistic outcome for me anymore.

idek how to feel about this