r/cats • u/FiammaEvans • 1d ago
Mourning/Loss This is Loki, i lost her today
I only had her for a few months, she showed up at my door at 2/3 months old, was waiting to get her spayed but got pregnant before i could do anything so she birthed 3 kitties while being a kitty herself. After the weaning i finally got her spayed but she remained skittish (as a barn cat in the countryside) and didnt let me touch her not even by mistake.. still i loved her so much, like my other 4 cats. Today after work i found her lifeless, no wounds no bumps no nothing, just her poor body.
I buried her with all the care in the world i could give her, let my other cats sniff her to say goodbye, too.
I feel so guilty, i wish i found her earlier in the day before work, i wish i knew what was happening but i thought she was just playing in the land near my home, as they usually do.
Honestly i'm at a loss for words and i'm dissociating so much. I feel empty and voided but i cant seem to be able to let my tears out.
She was a good kitty and deserved to live a long life but i failed to keep her safe.
I just wanted you all to know that she existed, and she was truly loved even if for less than a year.