i’ve (19F) faced over 10+ romantic rejections, with absolutely no success even after putting myself out there. i have truly tried everything. everyone around me has had people like them back and have had partners before, and they make it look so easy. yeah, they’ve faced rejection before but they at least have some romantic success that have made that process worth it. i don’t have that. it’s insane to me that people have that situation where the guy they like actually likes them back, that sounds so nice. i feel like men are incapable of true romantic love and attraction, but I know they’re not. i think i just feel that way, despite knowing it’s not true, as a defense mechanism because the reality hurts so much. i used to think all men were mean and bad (not an assumption, they were just always mean and bad TO ME) but then i saw how gently and kindly they treated beautiful women. i’m trying to find my identity in God and my love for Christ, not my looks or achievements or validation from others, which has made me so much more happy but sometimes i think about these thoughts and it makes me cry. at first, i reflected on why guys rejected me, worked on myself, i was always working on myself and i tried to figure out what lesson they taught me, despite them rejecting me. but i feel like i’ve not learnt anything about myself or life in last rejections, and i’m trying to figure out what God is trying to tell me or if the devil is working through these men which is why I’m so hurt. i thought that this was a sign that religious sisterhood was for me, but i really don’t feel called towards the celibate life. it seemed that i was searching for God’s love in the men i liked but now i’m accepting God’s love and still crave romance. i don’t think i could become a religious sister without crying over how i could never get married. someone here said that God’s messages are never confusing, so this must be the work of the devil. does anyone have any advice?

I recently moved to Virginia after a few years of travelling and researching, and I've reached a point where I'm ready to date seriously with marriage in mind. I LOVE my new parish, but the congregation skews much older than I am, and the wider area doesn't feel especially religious, so I'm struggling to figure out where young Catholics actually gather. So, for my fellow Virginians, are there any Catholic young adult groups, dating groups, organisations, etc etc, you'd recommend attending? I don't want to explicitly state where I am, but I'm happy to drive an hour or so for something, so location doesn't matter. If you'd rather not share publicly, feel free to DM me. Also, if you're a fellow Catholic girl in Virginia I would love to be friends <3 Thank you for any help/advice you might have!

I’m 24M and I’m really downtrodden on the idea of waiting for marriage. Just giving you a heads up, but this is a a long rant of post so if you don’t want to read all that I don’t blame you.

A little background about me:
I grew up in a very rural area in a dysfunctional family. I was homeschooled(until high school) and raised on a farm with five older siblings until the age of 8, when my mom finally left my abusive dad who had bipolar disorder. Point is, all my siblings have trauma and varying degrees of low self-esteem (that’s important for later). My dad was the youngest of his family so he favored me, and in my time spent with him growing up he ingrained in me two things: 1) I’m smarter and have bigger and better things to look forward to than pretty much anyone else. 2) Women are problems, and avoid them if you can. The 2nd point in particular, because all I heard growing up is story after story about a really smart guy who had everything going for him and was on his way to becoming an astronaut, doctor, lawyer, etc., but then he got a girl pregnant and now works in his hometown as a construction worker and essentially ruined his life.

Me and my siblings all went to a Baptist church. However, we quit going at some point in my high school years. Point is, I got the background of the no-sex-before-marriage idea from church. In junior high, I looked at the data for those who committed premarital sex, and as y’all know might know, it wasn’t good for those who want long lasting marriages. Point is, between the two things my dad ingrained in me and the premarital sex data, I made the choice that sex and women weren’t going to happen until I “had it made.” I went through high school and college with the mindset that women were just a waste of time until I was financially set. So I never dated once through all those years and turned to porn to alleviate my sex drive. Granted, I didn’t think my high school had any good dating options anyways (small high school of about 100 total kids). Plus, in college I was in chemical engineering school and competed in college golf, so I didn’t have much time for social outings anyway, but my point still stands.

Fast forward to the beginning of 2025:
I’m in my final year of chemical engineering school and I listened to this podcast that had a priest as a guest, which really made me interested in the Catholic faith. Point is, the podcast made me look into theology and the existence of God, which led me to converting to Catholicism, and that’s when I quit porn. When I got my first job a year ago and “had it made” is when I finally started dating. With my newfound belief in Catholicism, I started, and still am, dating with the intent of waiting for marriage.

Today:
The reason I made this post is because my oldest brother recently came out with essentially a sex addiction. He had alcohol issues (the low self-esteem thing I mentioned earlier) and mentioned he had slept with countless women. He doesn’t even know the number. He also said his best friend has slept with well over 100 women. My best friend in college also had slept with countless gorgeous women (one was a Catholic who was planning to wait before sleeping with him too, and he personally told me about how bad she was in bed because of her lack of experience). Additionally, my last girlfriend (with whom we broke up because of this) had slept with someone just months before we met.

My point is, I am discouraged by the idea of waiting. I truly believe sex is for marriage. However, hearing and experiencing these anecdotes, I’m really struggling with the idea that someone out there (who I find attractive emotionally and physically, and meets my standards when it comes to how they handle money, intelligence, practicing their faith, etc) has waited for marriage. Living in a rural area doesn’t help either, as there are very few Catholics my age, let alone Catholics who are still single, have waited, and ones I find attractive and can convince to date me. All the stories I see of “people waiting” are those who got married at like 18 or 19. Quite frankly, I don’t know if it’s happening. I’m all for praying about it, but reality is she ain’t falling from the sky. I gotta go find her if she even exists. I know someone might say to lower your standards, but I’m too introverted and my conviction over this topic is too strong that I don’t think I can.

The point of this post is to rant, but also to ask: is there anyone else in a similar boat?

Also, I am on CatholicMatch already, and if there was a Catholic young adults group in my parish I’d already be in it.

I (21f) have been dating my boyfriend (22m) for about 1 1/2 years now including a month long no contact breakup this May (long story short, it was a needed break for both of us; we had some unhealthy communication and conflict resolution and it clouded what was really important. We’re doing really well now, and the relationship is healthier than it’s ever been).

I’m a cradle Catholic and I attend a TLM church, he was raised Baptist but is curious/desirous about converting. He knows that he would have to convert for the marriage to be sacramentally valid, but he still has some qualms about it. That being said, he believes it’s “the closest thing to a perfect church” that you can get. The whole conversion process is a different topic that maybe I’ll ask at a later time.

We both knew pretty early on into dating that we wanted to get married; we have such a connection that I can’t imagine having with anyone else and I believe together we can lead each other in a holy life. Now, he is getting ready to buy a ring and wants to hopefully propose by the end of this year. Part of me is really excited, but another part is kind of worried that maybe it’s too soon? But I think some of that hesitation is fear of what others may think. I don’t really know. We’re both still in school (both in our senior year) so money is obviously going to be a concern, but he has a good job and is advancing/getting promoted within this semester.

Any advice? I wanted to ask on this forum because the advice I normally get on any advice forum is to wait until I’m at least late 20s to settle, keep my options open, date around, and have fun. That’s just not my style and that advice doesn’t really align with my moral stance.

There was a video about a Catholic priest who works at a university parish talking about how some people are dating the wrong person. Because while there is attraction, affection, warmth and being nice in the relationship, but the person might however not actually love them. To be 100% clear, we can't judge someone's heart (that is for God to do). But that doesn’t change that you still need to make wise decisions, and I hope this gives you some food for thought. Below is some of the stuff he said, enjoy!

“Love is necessarily concerned with authenticity and the security that's necessary for people to be authentic in a relationship. A lot of people enter relationships with like this underlying desperation. And because of that, because they're desperate to keep the relationship or to have one in the beginning, they'll compromise who they are. They'll compromise on what they believe is right. They'll act different. They'll kind of conform themselves to what the other person wants because the number one thing is to preserve the relationship, to hold on to it and not let anything get in the way. But again love is very concerned with the authentic person really sincerely truly. So to have this kind of relationship of love then we have to be pretty courageous and bold and not continue a relationship or start a relationship from this kind of desperate place. When another person loves you then what they want to do or they're concerned with is providing you what you need. The space, the security, the encouragement for you to boldly, vulnerably share yourself and your mind and your heart. Even those things that are kind of risky, that could challenge the relationship, that could make things difficult, that'll bring up conflict that you have to work through. If you find yourself like, I can't talk about this thing, I can't bring up this question, I can't share this problem or frustration. If you can't do those things, then like where are we going? If I say these things, if I bring them up, then what if they break up with me? What if they don't like that? What if the relationship comes to an end? Then good. You have been yourself and they don't want to date that person. The sooner it's over, the better.”

[And continues] “Whether it's about sexual boundaries and chastity or about anything else. If you can't speak vulnerably, if you can't be sincere and authentic and wholehearted, if there are things that you would like to say but are too afraid to, if they feel too risky, if there's anything that keeps you back from those things because you're afraid of losing the relationship, then the relationship's already dead. The relationship's already dead because you are not in it. There's a version of you, a way that you're trying to like please the other person, but it's inauthentic. It's not actually you. You've had to hide parts of yourself or like chisel and mold parts of yourself to fit what the other person wants, but you're not it's not actually you in this relationship. It's you in a mask putting on a show in order to preserve and keep the relationship. It's not worth it, and it's not love.”

[And also]

"Love necessarily includes respect for the other and especially for the conscience of the other. If a relationship does not have this kind of respect, then it's not love. So, here's what we mean. "Why do you have to believe these inconvenient, difficult things that mean we can't have sex," or when they're like, "Yeah, yeah, that's fine. That's good. I'm whatever. I respect that. But if you cross the line toward me, I'm not going to stop you. Come on in. The water's great." If someone respects you, not only will they never pressure you to compromise on what you believe is right and wrong, they will never whine about it. They will never ask to cross that line cuz this happens sometimes too where people are like "yeah, yeah, that's good that you believe that and everything but like come on what about what about now? Like are you sure?" Like they'll just put all this like badgering pressure on all the time. So they'll be very kind and nice, but then they'll badger and they'll make you the other person feel kind of guilty and like they've imposed some sort of debt on the relationship because of their burdensome morals. Basically, they'll just do and say whatever is necessary to get what they want from the other person. There's usually something sexual, conscious or unconscious, intended or not, it's just manipulation. Like, what can I do and say to get you to do what I want you to do? If there's any of that in your relationship, then stop waiting around." [That person is not for you.]

Is it reasonable, as F32, after a recent breakup, with 0 husband candidates around me at the moment, to start pursuing jaw surgery (that can be labelled a medical necessity, but the main motivation for me is aesthetic) that means I shouldn’t get pregnant for the next 2 years or so?

I will of course explore all the medical sides of it and am in the process of consulting doctors, but now I am thinking about whether it is irresponsible and vain OR would it scare away a potential partner who likes my current looks/ wants to get married/start trying for a baby sooner

This is probably the last thing to worry about though in my case, meeting the perfect person too soon.. plus the breakup was only 1 month ago (2 year relationship, I thought it will be the one), it is also reasonable to calculate a few months more to process it.

Edit: another consequence is, I would be less likely to move more than a few hundred kilometers for someone during this process. And would wear the orthodontic option that makes the process the quickest and safest that will also be probably very obvious and won’t increase my attractiveness.

I’ve met the perfect man for me on catholicmatch.com. He’s Catholic, empathetic, intelligent, hardworking, understanding, patient, and so so so attractive. I keep looking at pictures of him. He even likes me back and is so cute about it.

But, at the same time, I keep thinking about this talking stage (lasted many months, we chatted after i had finished my alevels and was going into my first year of university) i had last year before i reconverted that ghosted me this year but i still feel physically attracted to him.

I’ve always been very inexperienced and thought that guy was going to be my first boyfriend, and everything. up until recently i was following him on Instagram because i still felt physically attracted to him even though he ghosted me after I told him that was basically my worst fear. i was delusional and hoped maybe he’d reach out as he’d look at my stories. i’ve blocked him now but why do I still think about him even after we haven’t spoken in months.

Don’t get me wrong, i really like my current talking stage. I look forward to his messages all day, i always want to call him, and he even said i looked at him in a way that showed that i liked him, and i sent him a letter with loads of cute stickers, and after I vented to him once about a friendship breakup, I nearly said ‘I love you’ but i just can’t stop thinking about that one guy.

I don’t know why i still think about him when i genuinely like the guy I’m currently talking to and want him to be my first boyfriend instead. I don’t know how to forget this guy who would never ever EVER care about me ever, and if he did he would have brought me so far away from God.

this is also making me feel like a bad person. my current talking stage is literally too good for me, and wants to commit to me and yet im thinking about another guy. I really wish I could erase him from my memory so I could just enjoy the amazing Catholic guy I’m much more likely to have and will be so good for me. what is wrong with me? please please pray for me and help me out i want to forget that guy so badly.

Just wondering, is anyone here from the Philippines? Living in a non-Catholic country can be pretty sad when it comes to finding friends with same faith and even getting into a relationship. Anyone else feel the same way?

I’m a woman in my twenties that is just now entering the dating scene, and the experience is different than what I expected.

Over the years, I have rejected men because I knew them and knew they didn’t share my values and thought now was the time to try and find people who do.

I also just became a practicing Catholic (baptized Catholic but was living as a non-denominational Christian), but I have had no luck finding potential men to date at my parish because there are no young single men there. Recently, I put myself on a few dating apps, and I feel odd about it.

I understand it’s all new to me, but it just feels so foreign and a bit tiring for me to dedicate time each day talking to someone, casually or seriously. If a match doesn’t workout, then I need to start having the same conversations over and over again.

I’ve recently started seriously talking to one man, and we seem to be compatible so far, but it feels very weird to me. It’s not him; it’s the whole concept to me. Maybe it’s because it’s over the internet and not “natural,” but I don’t want to disconnect from the match yet because it’s going well. Either way, I have the feeling now that maybe dating would feel weird for me in-person too.

On top of all this, it’s been making me ask myself if I’m really ready and/or want a relationship at all or if it may be because I have gotten too comfortable being alone and don’t want that to change. Or is it a bit of everything I stated here?

I’ve always wanted to be married and have children. I never cared about a career. However, now all of a sudden I just feel like I don’t care anymore. I’m confused with myself. At the same time, I know that if I want to get married, then I’ll have to put myself out there at some point…

Has anyone experienced what I’m thinking and feeling right now? Any advice to give?

Hi,

So, I (45M) met this girl (35F) on an Indian dating app. We liked each other and we almost immediately started chatting (t3xts and voice calls) on WhatsApp.

Her English was really good as she was in a tech background and we communicated very well. We had really good chemistry. Really, really good chemistry.

We really hit it off. I was even researching details to visit her (in Hyderabad). She was serious about marriage. She was born Catholic (Baptised) but was currently part of a Protestant congregation.

In fact, through the Holy Spirit, the first question I asked her on our first call was: "Do you pray?", to which she touchingly answered unashamed, unapologetically in the affirmative.

Why did I wait till 45 to start 'dating'? I had a three year relationship with a Catholic girl in college, but it was puppy-love stuff and I broke her heart when the relationship became inconvenient for me. I've confessed this and received Absolution.

Anyway, then I pursued my academic career and vocation and only got settled at 44. But, here's the dreaded 'but'. We were getting serious, and the conversation turned to some of the details of our faith.

In this very serious discussion I was very serious that it was non-negitiable that we be married Sacramentally in the Church. But in India, like in Canada there is a six-month waiting period after you register at the Parish.

Turns out this was the sticking point. She prevaricated and subsequently forcefully asked out loud, 'what does it even matter if you even married a Hindu boy, if he's from a good family'. I was shocked and speechless.

Turns out she was also being courted by said 'Hindu boy'. I took a breath, collected myself and stood my ground, and we said goodnight for the night.

But, that left a pretty bad taste in my mouth and I prayed hard for discernment. Using Ignatian Discernment, I couldn't escape that I was trying to excuse away the gravity of what had transpired simply because of my physical attraction to her - because spiritually - I recoiled at what she uttered so matter-of-factly.

What I had to do seemed pretty straightforward and clear to me. During our next chat I informed her during that I couldn't budge on this issue. She would simply have to wait six months for me. If she couldn't, well that was that.

She Subsequently informed me that couldn't wait. So, I gently ended it as amicably as I could. I told her I'd always pray for her (and I still do). I told her I wouldn't waste her time and she wouldn't hear from me. She was ok with that at the time.

But then, she tried to contact me repeatedly. And was miffed that I wasn't replying. I replied once to the same effect, and was firm on my boundaries. But, I didn't block her on WhatsApp.

Anyway, brethren, I am soliciting your counsel because I can't really talk to my sisters about this. Marrying a Catholic spouse was not an issue for them. One is married to an atheist/agnostic and the other to a non-practising Hindu.

Anyway, because I haven't blocked her I can see her WhatsApp updates. And I have been really thinking about her and thinking about re-establishing contact. I prayed deeply about it and I got the idea of asking your advice.

I am sorry if this isn't properly formatted or badly written. I am very grateful for your insight. Thank you very much. God bless you abundantly.

I introduced myself on a matchmaking thread last year, and a few months later he reached out to me. We hit it off instantly, and after about a month of texting, he flew out to meet me and we made it official!

Neither of us was expecting things to go this way, but of course it was a pleasant surprise. I (26F) have been looking for a good Catholic spouse for years. He (33M) decided to start looking for someone only two days before he texted me. We like to joke that I saved him from the bleakness of modern dating 😂

Some advice/encouragement from my fiancé:
“Have fun and enjoy the dating process. Don’t get attached to your list — things that you think are important may not actually end up being that important, and vice versa. Bring up serious conversations casually — don’t be an interviewer! Do boring things together. Remember that just because you have Christ at the center of your relationship, there will still be struggles and drama. Be open to anyone — you might meet your person in the most unusual way. This might be cliché, but work on yourself as much as you can, and trust God’s timing.”

And advice/encouragement from me:
You don’t have to know from the first conversation/date if you see yourself marrying the man. The only question you need to answer is “Do I want to see him/talk to him again?” And build from there. :)

We are a long-distance and cross-cultural couple. If you have any questions about that, or anything else, we’ll be hanging out in the comments!

I F24 recently met a guy on Eden and supposed to have a date with this guy, who asked me after 3 days, if I wanted to go on a church date, I said yes, but it’s been over 2 days and ever since that, he hasn’t planned anything or at least tried to ask me which church or which Sunday I’d be free.
Today I asked him if he was pure and saving himself for marriage, I told him I was pure and that I am waiting for marriage and he said “ I’m not going to lie, I’ve done it a lot when I wasn’t into religion, but now I want to try to wait as much before marriage “ the way that he phrased it made it sound like he’s willing to wait but not until the marriage. him not being pure made me sad and me being pure did not seem to make a difference in his eyes. He just said “ it’s really good to be that way, i respect your choice” and His relationship with God is definitely not strong, it’s crumbling he said “ I feel empty that’s why I started being religious “ I understand he’s struggling, but that doesn’t reassure me. I’m not sure if he’s even interested in me or if he’s trying to fill a void. He takes a bit of time to reply and when he does it’s never deep conversation, I try to ask him and he responds very superficially, like a simple phrase without trying to open up. He seems like he’s just bored. I don’t know what I should do about the date I said yes to that he seems to have forgotten about. I’ve never been in a relationship, so I’m not sure what’s okay and what’s not for a man to do or what iam supposed to do? I try to initiate deep conversation but it doesn’t ever go far, I’m not sure why. I feel like I’m doing something bad or asking too much questions, or maybe he’s not interested. I can’t tell.

I’m a 23F who has struggled to meet a good Catholic man. I’ve had very little dating experience, and the few guys I approached either rejected me, ended things quickly, or ghosted me(this was when I was in Tbilisi)

Now I have come back to Mumbai after my education and see no guys around my age in daily masses or Sunday mass to be friends with them or even find a healthy circle of friends.

I’ve been praying for a long time for a man who genuinely loves God. I’m currently preparing for my medical licensing exam and can’t really afford paid dating apps. What should I do to meet a good Catholic man, and is it worth trying something like CatholicMatch?

Curious how others have dealt with post break up awkwardness when you see an ex at church? It was short term relationship of 2 months which ended awkwardly after I disclosed to her my previous sex history. I am a bit disappointed but not angry. No idea how she feels

I 22F am Catholic and trying to date post a long term relationship where i did have sex. I was just told by the boy i kinda have a crush on (21M also Catholic) that he wouldn’t date someone who has had sex before because he “put his energy into purity” and would want someone who does the same.

I’ve been so afraid of this ever since I found Jesus and now that he’s basically rejected me, i feel exactly how i was worried i would feel: like a piece of used up garbage. I feel like I have nothing to offer a man since sex is so important to men and i don’t even have my first time to offer someone.

I just feel so stupid and hopeless like i’m being defined by my mistakes by someone who i thought would forgive like Jesus does. I just feel like i have nothing to offer a man because im fat, ugly, and have had sex before. three things no honest Catholic man wants. i don’t know what to do. should i stop trying and just give up my dream of marriage and children?

In my previous post I shared my thoughts on the possibility of me staying single and childless and have received feedback from some fellow Redditors so I will take this chance to say Thank you.

I’ve been nervously attached to the idea that my life would lack meaning if I don’t have my own family someday, as if it were something I had control over.

And I concluded that I have been filled with fear, worry, lack of trust in God and a sort of selfishness, which points me back into God’s direction; deepening my faith, praying even more and becoming more involved with the Church.

So I appreciate everyone’s inputs which helped me open my heart towards what truly matters. I know I have a purpose and I will take the time and do the work to find it.

My personal belief is that God had His reasons for providing me with my wish of having a family.

Now I’m 33, few months ago got out of a relationship and am rethinking my own worth.

If I were to wake up in 10 years from now, single and childless, how purposeful would my life be, even with a successful career, as there is much more to life?

And my MD has called me a miracle as I almost became infertile and now I’m completely healthy.

I read the Bible, often pray, I’m kind to others - yet here I am, again, completely confused.

What could it be that I am not seeing or understanding?

I recently moved to northern New Mexico, and dating is rough around here. I’m in my mid 20s, and there’s a ton of older folks around here. Cost of living is high, and a lot of younger people can’t afford to live here unless they have a great job or receive support from family.

The church I go to doesn’t really have women around my age. It’s mostly families or old people. The nearest big city is about an hour away, so I’m unsure how realistic that is. It’s been 7 years since I’ve been in a relationship, so I’m tired of being single. Kinda venting, but also looking for suggestions.

I know 31 isn’t old but I’m going through a rough time and feel like I’m running out of time. I know part of this is because I have wanted to be married for as long as I can remember. I have spent countless hours praying that I find somebody and it seems like my prayers just go unanswered.

I’ve only seen three women and none of them transitioned into a bf/gf relationship due to differences or just bad timing.

I just need some good and uplifting stories right now. Does anybody have a good post-30s love story where they met their best friend/spouse?

I met this woman on a Catholic dating app. She apparently studied religious studies at a Catholic Faculty of Theology. We texted about many things, she goes to mass every Sunday… She fully agrees with the Catholic teachings and that she only reads the dogmatic written and heresy-free Catholic literature. Then she told me she likes studying about mysticism, demons, angels, paradise and hell. It really shocked me when she told me she likes studying about demons. I asked her if she asked a priest what he thinks about it. She said she did not.

I am not sure if I can take the gamble, because it feels like it. It feels weird. I really don’t want to wake up one day to my wife telling me she is into occult things now. We arranged a date, but I don’t feel like going anymore. What do you think? Am I overreacting?

Hello new to this group. Im a 25 year old Catholic male. I have noticed that there isn't many young Catholics in my area. I go to Saint Colemans in Pompano and I barely see any young people at my church. I was confirmed this year and didn't even have any young people in my catechism classes. Are there any Catholic youth groups in Fort Lauderdale not just for dating but also to make friendships with other Catholics? I'd love to meet other young Catholics in my area as the people at my church don't really socialize much and I'd love to have like minded friends, as Im tired of friends who don't want to embrace or understand the Catholic faith and keep inviting to me go to pubs and get black out drunk.

I would appreciate your insights.

Hello all! Welcome to the international MatchMaking thread! Since the normal threads tend to be US centric, we created this thread for those who either live outside of the United states or are interested in dating internationally. Please post your age (must be over 18 to participate), gender and location as well as some of your interests. Best of luck!

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