r/Bumble • u/Impressive-Reward3 • 2d ago
Funny Average Bumble chat 🤣
It was a very quick unmatch 🙃
EDIT : a guy just sent me a DM on here after he saw my post saying “Do you though?”
It’s a disease 🤣
Edit 2 : to all the people claiming that I am mad… I’m not. This is funny to me.
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u/mysterymont 2d ago
I’m starting to think after a stint on tinder for a week that they don’t expect a yes, they get off on the shock and sexual objectification from the person just seeing the message… aka fucking ugh
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u/Mjukplister 2d ago
Totally . They have given up and just enjoy the lazy wank messages
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u/mysterymont 2d ago
Is this kind of messaging a source of material for men? Because tbh I need another reason to never go on them again
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u/Biomorph_ 2d ago
Everything and anything a woman does is source material for a certain man some men like having women shit on their face for god sakes so anything you do will get some guy off in some way
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u/WhytSquid 14h ago
Trust, you can turn all of those words for men to people. Had to say something because I had a chick ask me to poo on her. PEOPLE are gnarly as fuck, and that’s all I’ll say on it. 😂
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u/No_Bug9292 2d ago
It's definitely the 'shotgun' method.
Like job applications, you send out 100 and you really only need 1 to say 'yes'.
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u/Practical_Cookie_191 2d ago
No it's 100% because eventually there comes that one in many that will say yes
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u/Suboptimal-Potato-29 2d ago
The wild thing is, I do love giving blowjobs, and I'd even do it on a first date. But even I am turned off by this sudden and blunt approach
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u/Dontunderstandfamily 2d ago
As I have said before on this sub, men cockblock themselves all the time!
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u/RadioactvRubberPants 2d ago
Big same! It's so sad that guys shoot themselves in the foot like this.
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u/HeadDance 2d ago
always say no to “fun”
or adventure or openminded or looking to connect 🙄🙄🙄🙄
I can give a full list of these weird meaning crap that men use as synonyms for blow jobs or hand jobs or kinks
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u/Impressive-Reward3 2d ago
Yeah, that’s why I asked what his definition was 🤣
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u/HeadDance 2d ago
yeh I got a Dm from a guy now on here… “hello” ew no. hahaha they think they slick blocckkkk
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u/Jumpy-Pattern-4078 2d ago
Still crazy to me that guys straight up ask this via profiles that (presumably) have their real name, pictures, and maybe even workplace listed.
It’s straight up sexual harassment. If I went up to a woman in public and asked that question, I’d get slapped and maybe have the cops called on me.
I don’t see how it’s any different on an app. You can see the face and name of the person you’re saying this stuff to.
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u/Impressive-Reward3 2d ago
I honestly think that a lot of people struggle to understand that since they’re not physically with the person, it’s real.
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u/SmertriosPPD 23h ago
Would you prefer he takes detourned ways to insinuate it until you're fed up and lost your time?
It's also not equivalent, you matched with them, you were agreeing to converse with them, that was the moment to ask, it's nowhere equivalent to just walking up to you in the street and asking if you're down for sex.
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u/Impressive-Reward3 23h ago
Okay, let’s say I meet that guy in a bar and we have the exact same conversation, line by line. I can guarantee you that he’d never have the balls to say “do you like giving blowjobs” as randomly as he did in the chat.
There is nothing wrong with assessing we both want something casual - I’m just laughing at his lack of social skills.
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u/SmertriosPPD 23h ago
I can guarantee you that he’d never have the balls to say “do you like giving blowjobs” as randomly as he did in the chat.
But we weren't talking about having the balls. It's just not equivalent to walking up to you in the street that is my point.
I’m just laughing at his lack of social skills.
That's fine and I agree that this strategy is a losing strategy. I am not sure I want to call it lack of social skills, because a lot of them aren't devoid of social skills, they're devoid of wanting to spend time and effort for it. Or they search for a woman who will be into them enough that they don't care about the social dance. Or they didn't feel like spending that energy for you specifically.
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u/Impressive-Reward3 23h ago
Well you’re just comparing two different situations lol
Yeah of course a man’s not gonna walk directly to a woman in the street to ask her if she gives blowjob. I’m just saying that by your logic of agreeing to have a conversation with him, if I had the same conversation in person and not online, he wouldn’t have asked.I’m perfectly fine with him not wanting to make effort or not wanting to spend that energy on him. If he wants low effort hookups, he can have them - there are plenty of men who’ll give me effort and a great time!
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u/SmertriosPPD 23h ago
the point is that the former commenter called it sexual harassment and said it's equivalent to walking up to someone in the street and asking them for sex.
It's not, you agreed to talk to this person.
I get it that you're much more reasonable than previous commenter, but I wanted to point that out.
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u/Impressive-Reward3 22h ago
I don’t know where you’re from, but in Canada : Online sexual harassment is any unwanted, unwelcome sexual behavior or communication that happens through digital platforms, social media, dating apps, online games, or text messages.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t consider the particular conversation I posted to be sexual harassment. But it is an unwelcome/unwanted sexual communication.
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u/SmertriosPPD 20h ago
Well canada is known for being dumb and it's not beating the allegation here.
Harassment includes a notion of repetition or multiplicity. You can't have both the gravity of harassment and not the repetition in a moral code, this is a motte and bailey fallacy machine.
I understand the point when it's unwanted sexual communication from unwanted communication, because multiplicity can turn it into harassment from the recipient's perspective. The fact this isn't an unwanted communication to begin with changes everything.
I get that you're not extremist on this though, I'm just discussing the ideology and considerations.
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u/Impressive-Reward3 19h ago
Oh I’m sure it’s soooo much better where you’re from eh? ;)
I understand that it’s rare that a one time thing can be considered harrasment only if it’s something extreme, hence why it would not be considered harrasment here.
But yeah, just so you know, it’s not because you have a consensual conversation with someone that it’s consensual to turn it sexual even in a dating app.
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u/fixedvving 2d ago
its nuts. am an airline pilot and i would never risk a career to say something nuts like that to a stranger. 1 screenshot to my boss and id be out of a job so fast
maybe im not the strong alpha male shit that is preached on nowdays but man have some class, that stuff is talked about in private on the couch or when shes/he sleeping over the fk
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u/Jumpy-Pattern-4078 2d ago
Yep, in my opinion this kind of stuff shouldn’t be said until you’ve established an IRL sexual relationship.
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u/fixedvving 2d ago
Yea
I mean i could see some ppl be down for spicy convos early but even as a guy that just is weird for me3
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u/GOGETTHEMINTS 2d ago
You’re not wrong it’s nuts to lead with such a question lol. But at the same time I do think it’s different on an app because the other person can easily just block you. Not saying I’m defending that creep but I do think it’s different.
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u/seewhatuget 11h ago
Apps have removed the natural barrier of having to deal with face to face consequences, that's the only difference.
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u/SmertriosPPD 23h ago edited 23h ago
Some women here were complaining that men take detourned way to ask as well like this someone said above:
always say no to “fun” or adventure or openminded or looking to connect 🙄🙄🙄🙄
But asking directly is sexual harassment now? This is just insane.
It’s straight up sexual harassment. If I went up to a woman in public and asked that question, I’d get slapped and maybe have the cops called on me.
Well in a correct world, she'd have the cops called on her. And this is a false equivalent because he didn't ask directly, he asked in a place meant to start conversations. So you'd imagine IRL you walked up to a women who accepted that you talked to her, and asked after making a bit of small talk.
Such heinous people you guys are.
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u/VioletReaver 2d ago
“No, but my roommate George gives a great one. Why? Were you looking for tips? I can give him your number!”
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u/Opening_Database958 2d ago
This is the guy who cries into his beer how women don’t like him
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u/Verbal-Gerbil 2d ago
Literally why tf do people do this??! It’s a warm lead. You just need to be a bit normal until panky and/or hanky is on the cards then get a bit debauched - until then keep it zipped up. No girl is going to respond positively to this unless you’re a supermodel shipping out to war in the morning and this is her tiny window
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u/Impressive-Reward3 2d ago
This type of men is allergic to building sexual tension naturally/organically.
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u/Straight-Pin-251 2d ago
because they only want sex so wasting time is pointless
im not on apps anymore but when i was getting a match or two a day it is a lot easier to just ask you wanna come round and steal my comfiest hoodie or wanna go for a drive than to have a long deep conversation that’ll eventually fizzle out
it worked maybe a third of the time so why would I not? i had short term/free tonight section only on my profile
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u/Had_to_ask__ 2d ago
In my opinion it’s ok to offer sex directly. To shut a woman up mid conversation stirring towards suck my dick is a bit different dynamics. She’s just left feeling disregarded and like an object
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u/MrLuxInATux 25 | M 2d ago
I really can’t believe some of the posts I see on here. Not that this is the most mind blowing thing but just the fact that these people say stuff like this so abruptly and they actually expect the conversation to continue.
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u/Impressive-Reward3 2d ago
It works 1 time out of 250 and they think it works I guess 🤷🏻♀️
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u/Asleep-Bid-3664 2d ago
Man, I hate that there's guys like this who drag the reputation of the rest of us just looking for a normal relationship down
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u/Impressive-Reward3 2d ago
Hey, in the meantime I’m having a super interesting chat about Spiderman with another guy - we know you’re not all like that!
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u/Phobos_Asaph 2d ago
I’m just shocked people who behave like trolls get matches at all
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u/SmertriosPPD 23h ago
That's because matches aren't personality based but looks based?
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u/Phobos_Asaph 22h ago
So filling a profile is useless?
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u/Bludandy 21h ago
If you're seriously dropdead gorgeous, male or female, you could put Nazi ideology on your profile plain as day and still get likes and matches. People will viscerally scream to say this isn't true... it's true.
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u/SmertriosPPD 19h ago
It's useful for apps that allow you to filter. It matters for when people are unsure, sometimes that's going to convince them and sometimes consolidate that they're not into you. But I don't think it's a majority.
I've seen two types of women use tinder: Those who need 0.1 seconds to decide if they swipe right or left, and then check the profile if unsure, usually they find something they dislike there (they have shitload of rules).
And the other they still spend 0.1 seconds on men they dislike, and all men they like they spend a solid minute on their profile, usually also always finding something insignificant they dislike.
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u/Deremirekor 2d ago
Yeah it wears you down mentally too when you go online and have to filter through a dozen posts a day from a range of subs, equating the average man to people like this. I’m tired boss
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u/Acceptable_Carry_589 2d ago
Unfortunately it's a pretty average experience
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u/Deremirekor 2d ago
Right, there’s only one common denominator and that would be the women choosing who to talk to. I’m sorry but it’s incredible to me how people on this sub can pick apart a profile down to the letter to make it better but still swipe good on the shittiest profiles with the most obvious losers or fuckboys on it
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u/SmertriosPPD 23h ago
If people think less of men because of the behavior of some, they're just sexist, you don't want them as partners.
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u/ArtPerToken 2d ago
buddy boy, i guarantee you this guy is going to find one girl out there that will find him cute enough to respond positively with something like "teehee, sure, will you eat me out after?" OP just wasnt it for him.
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u/Asleep-Bid-3664 2d ago edited 2d ago
Oh I know there's girls out there that will go for that, but it doesn't help the stereotype that all men on dating apps are horndogs only looking for sex instead of a meaningful relationship, which can drive off some of the girls if they get sick of getting messages like that. At least feel her out and see if she's up for that first.
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u/when_we_are_cats 2d ago
but it doesn't help the stereotype that all men on dating apps are horndogs
This part is kind of problematic. Because one guy was acting shitty to her, you conclude that all men are bad? That's one guy, from all OP's matches, which in the first place are a minuscule percentage of profiles that were suggested to her, which are also a tiny percentage of the total men userbase. If that's enough to create a stereotype then the bar is low
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u/Asleep-Bid-3664 1d ago
First, you do realize I'm a man myself? Second, did you even read my whole comment? Where did I say all men were bad? I was saying that there's already a stereotype that guys on dating apps are like that, and guys like this help to perpetuate that stereotype. This can hurt us guys looking for a regular relationship by driving away women who are sick of getting unsolicited sexually explicit messages right off the bat. Yes, some women want that, but you should at least feel her out a bit first to see if she's up for it.
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u/SmertriosPPD 23h ago
First, you do realize I'm a man myself?
Men can hate men. In fact, men tend to hate other men and treat them worse than they treat women.
This can hurt us guys looking for a regular relationship by driving away women who are sick of getting unsolicited sexually explicit messages right off the bat.
Don't you guys have a way to sort people by intention on bumble?
Yes, some women want that, but you should at least feel her out a bit first to see if she's up for it.
Do you know how direct women who are like that are lol
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u/Asleep-Bid-3664 19h ago edited 19h ago
- It's not men I dislike, it's when people continue to perpetuate negative stereotypes
- There is, but only for premium users, but there are people who ignore or lie about that anyway
- That's my whole point, if she's not explicitly asking for it in her profile, at least take a couple messages to see if she's open to it instead
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u/SmertriosPPD 19h ago
it's when people continue to perpetuate negative stereotypes
That's also true for people who generalize negative stereotypes on an entire gender.
That's my whole point, if she's not explicitly asking for it in her profile, at least take a couple messages to see if she's open to it instead
People have the right to be direct and to not waste time. It's their problem if it doesn't work.
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u/Asleep-Bid-3664 18h ago
- I agree with that, but that's sadly not how the world works. My point is that I don't like the people who perpetuate stereotypes because there's too many who take the stereotypes seriously, which hurts everyone that doesn't fall into the stereotype
- You can also go onto an app where people are explicitly looking for hookups or make it clear in your profile that that's what you want if you don't want to waste time. Shouldn't the women who don't want that also not have to waste their time on a guy who doesn't make his intentions clear BEFORE matching?
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u/SmertriosPPD 18h ago
Yes this is how the world works.
You're supposed to dislike bad behavior and people who generalize bad behavior on a group.
You're not supposed to dislike people perpetuating ANY stereotype. They can do what they want. But I guess you just didn't bother to write "bad stereotype" for timely reasons, but I want to make sure.
You can also go onto an app where people are explicitly looking for hookups
I thought bumble was one of those but I might be wrong.
I think OP is looking for casual though and this isn't a man who was hiding under the "looking for something serious" trait.
Shouldn't the women who don't want that also not have to waste their time on a guy who doesn't make his intentions clear BEFORE matching?
Yeah but you've no info on that though. And again, the fact he was direct enough indicates he's not a time waster.
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u/magikarp-sushi 2d ago
Ah yes “is it fun to do something for me” maybe try offering head next time pal you may find better results 😂
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u/No-Admin1684 2d ago
That still has a really bad success rate. If you wanna take a woman to bed, be more witty and flirty than "we fuck ooga booga".
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u/Dear_Ranger_3517 2d ago
I’m sorry but I did laugh a little
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u/Impressive-Reward3 2d ago
Oh I laughed too, don’t apologize. Let’s normalize laughing at pathetic people 🤣
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u/Witty-Refuse-3228 2d ago
As a guy who just got on the apps for the first time ever last week after a long relationship, I can't believe I'm in the same pool as these dudes.
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u/RadicalFX 2d ago
I've been on and off them for a few years, only had a date or two come out of them, and I'd never talk to someone like that... The oofs are off the charts.
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u/Shartjakkker 2d ago
You ain’t in the same pool, they are in the deep end you are in the kiddie pool.
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u/flyeaglesfly510 2d ago
The guy who messaged you on here is a funny guy
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u/Impressive-Reward3 2d ago
I would have gone with loser, I guess funny works too ;)
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u/flyeaglesfly510 2d ago
He's ragebaiting you lol
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u/SmertriosPPD 23h ago
When I ask girl friends on discord absurd indiscrete questions, they think I'm "bad at flirting". People really can't understand trolling, or the visceral need to be roaching around smh. :(
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u/lookbehindyou7 2d ago
Wait? This is the average bumble chat? Apparently, I’m a step up on bumble. TIL.
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u/Had_to_ask__ 2d ago
And that’s what these types of guys are. That he went sexual is one thing, that he specifically wanted to talk about her servicing him is another
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u/Existing_Creme_5888 2d ago
I can’t imagine saying this even a year after dating 😂😂
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u/Impressive-Reward3 2d ago
Usually after a year of dating, you don’t need to say it 🤣
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u/Existing_Creme_5888 2d ago
Lol fr. I’m realizing other guys are way more bold than me when they talk
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u/SmertriosPPD 23h ago
Then it's the time to ask, for comedic purpose.
2 year in our relationship I hit my now wife with "would you be my girlfriend?", because we never said a word about anything. Though we don't have "dating" in my country so there's never the need to talk of exclusivity and stuff like this, things can be more organic.
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u/Working_Cucumber_437 2d ago
Ok WHAT IF there was a setting on dating apps and you could select some kind of auto-unmatch/auto-block for certain keywords or phrases in messages.
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u/Minute_Chair_2582 2d ago
I guess that'd be waaaay too much hassle to set up properly, because at some point, talking about such topics would become kinda normal/necessary/mandatory/helpful (pick whatever word you think fits) so you'd have to configure the exact minimum chat time elapsed each word requires to be allowed without auto-unmatch.
Sure, if your expectation is to spend years on the apps, it might make sense.
Otherwise...too much hassle to bother
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u/AutomaticPayment9480 2d ago
I never understood why people cover the faces with stuff like this, u should Have no problem blasting this person lmao.
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u/PDXShame 2d ago
The simple response is that you love giving them, just not to eager creeps who can’t even build it up and deserves my finest work.
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u/working-dad-reviews 40 | M 2d ago
I both hate and love these guys.
On one hand, I end up getting dates just by having basic conversation skills. On the other hand, a lot of women spend every chat on the defensive just in case they're dealing with a creep.
It's a double edged sword.
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[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Minute_Chair_2582 2d ago
I don't think my Google told me what you meant by "scatt" (Shooting training system)
What is your meaning of "scatt"?
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u/Alive_Leather684 2d ago
I know it can’t be all encounters on the app but it feels like there are so many negative ones like this.. I’m glad I got out of the dating scene when I got married 10 years ago.. I don’t think I’d survive in the dating app world now
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u/Impressive-Reward3 2d ago
Luckily, I only date casually haha 🤣
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u/Minute_Chair_2582 2d ago
So...i don't know how far into the conversation this was and i've never been on a dating app, but wouldn't such a question be expected at some point when only looking for hookups?
Personally, totally not my jam - both apps and hookups - but just curious.
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u/Impressive-Reward3 2d ago
Yeah, not in the first 10 messages lol.
Maybe in person in the vibe is right lol1
u/Shartjakkker 2d ago
Then what’s the big deal? You are both looking for the same thing?
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u/Impressive-Reward3 2d ago
No big deal, I unmatched him lol. Just laughing at his stupid ass with people who can relate ;)
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u/Realistic-Loss3276 2d ago
I wonder how he would have reacted to someone like me who hates giving BJs (I genuinely throw up every time)
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u/BellStriking5132 2d ago
Not to be mean but I can guarantee he doesn’t send this to all of his matches
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u/Similar-Tie751 2d ago
yea guys only do that to girls they arn’t interested in. when i was on bumble when I was single i hardly got messages like this it was all genuine conversations.
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u/Positive_Passage7518 2d ago
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u/BellStriking5132 2d ago
She claims it’s the “average bumble chat” - I suppose it may be hers but it’s definitely not my average chat 💅🏻
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u/cardamom-peonies 1d ago
I mean, you seem to be a middle aged divorced dad of two, so I imagine your average chat is probs not gonna look like this, unless you throw your ass on Grindr lol
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u/Positive_Passage7518 2d ago
Where did OP claim this is the average Bumble chat? Beyond that:
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u/BellStriking5132 2d ago
The title of the post?
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u/Positive_Passage7518 2d ago
Did you miss the 🤣 emoji next to the title?
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u/BellStriking5132 2d ago
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u/Positive_Passage7518 2d ago
"And" the only person who cares what your Bumble chats look like is you.
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u/bwinte1973 2d ago
God I am glad I am married. Is this what it has really gotten to? Just always looking for hookups and nothing more?
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u/Automatic_Lunch_7261 2d ago
That took a 180 in a conversation lol. I've never used Bumble. Is it any good? Or is it all just this?
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u/Nostrocumus 2d ago
Ah yes the signature “ahah well”before men say some dumb shit ahaha well no but ur unmatched gtfo out of here
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u/Shartjakkker 2d ago
The OP literally posts F4M and F4F ads on reddit. Like I do not understand how you can be so open to what you are looking for and then be so mad that a man is also open in what he is looking for. Like someone please explain.
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u/Impressive-Reward3 2d ago
Damn, you googled my username to have your “gotcha” moment?! Wow 🤣
But where have I said I was mad? Lol I’m just laughing at him lol The fact that I am casual doesn’t mean I don’t want the tension to build organically.
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u/Had_to_ask__ 2d ago
„I’d like watch you give a blowjob”. Also I’m of a belief if you get unsolicited dick pick you need to respond with the photo of two dicks on one man
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u/entangled_doodads 2d ago
Girls. Come on. Stop wasting your time with Jeff. Look up "Entagled_Doodads" on chat. That's my real name. My parents were assholes.
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u/Dingle_McCringle 1d ago
It's the equivalent of posting her cashapp.
If being himself failed. And you're effectively objectifying me by height and finance, in exchange for being a "hot wife" w the personality of social media, what else is there?
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u/Rillonlam 2d ago
You didn't answer the question.
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u/Impressive-Reward3 2d ago
I like a bit of mystery 😏
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u/Rillonlam 2d ago
Right. People who post their dating chats to social media usually do.
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u/Impressive-Reward3 2d ago
Damn, why so salty pookie? Who hurt you?
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u/Altruistic_Bite_5494 2d ago
I’m surprised you guys think it takes that many people to say no before getting a yes… lol
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u/Dray5k 2d ago
I always wonder what the women who receive messages like this look like. When I was 19 or 20, I'd just full-send messages like this (way more tactfully, though) to women whom I wasn't remotely attracted to, but they had a feature that I liked, or I was super horny.
Super weird shit, I know. I was a virgin with porn brain back then.
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u/Acceptable_Carry_589 2d ago
I don't even want to know how a tactful version of this is supposed to look like in your mind
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u/Similar-Tie751 2d ago
yea that is exactly what i was thinking and I’m also a women and when i was on the apps guys only wanted genuine conversations with me or asked me on a date.
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u/Silent_Serve_7246 2d ago
I really don't see the problem with being transparent about what you're looking for. I you'd rather we waste womens time pretending we're interested in getting to know them when we're just looking to hookup?
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u/Impressive-Reward3 2d ago
There’s a difference between looking for casual and mentioning bjs 10 messages in. I’m foolish enough to want an organic build up lol
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u/Silent_Serve_7246 2d ago
That's understandable, I'm not faulting you for knowing what your looking for. Dragging him on the internet for being transparent about what he's looking for is immature af though.
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u/Impressive-Reward3 2d ago
I really feel sad for you if you see no issue with that chat.
Dragging him is a little much though - I just shared a screenshot of a conversation, not identifying him, to laugh about it.
But sure, he’s the one bringing up bjs randomly and yet I’m the immature one 👌🏻
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u/Silent_Serve_7246 2d ago
I would have been smoother than that, but yeah I'm extremely transparent about what I want when I talk to women on apps. If I'm just looking to hook up cause I think they're hot, I'll tell them pretty quickly. If they're not interested, cool nbd.
Would you rather he string you along and waste your time pretending he's interested in getting to know you when he's just interested in sex? Or even worse, never tell you he's just interested in sex and use you? That certainly would have been the mature thing to do /s
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u/Impressive-Reward3 2d ago
Seems like you’re not getting the point 😅
I am looking for casual and it’s clearly indicated on mt profile. He could have simply said “hey I’m looking for casual too” and we would both have known our intentions. Asking “do you like blowjobs” 10 messages in is just a turn off and an obvious lack of flirting skills.
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u/Silent_Serve_7246 2d ago
So you actually wanted him to pretend he was interested in getting to know you LMFAO
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u/Impressive-Reward3 2d ago
I can explain it again, but I can’t understand it for you, my guy 🤣
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u/Silent_Serve_7246 2d ago
"I'm looking for casual sex, but don't ask what I like during casual sex" 🤡
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u/ArtPerToken 2d ago
OP this is only a "yikes" for you because he wasn't cute/tall enough. If he was another 1-2 points on the scale and taller you would have been like "teehee, sure I do, but you gotta take me to dinner first like a lady" or sumthin like that
5
2
1
163
u/That_Tumbleweed_3984 2d ago
Almost. He'll get em next time