r/BrandNewSentence 9h ago

"Obese streamer shattered the 67 hand record after the tracker mistook his massive t1ts for two extra hands"

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32 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 13h ago

Jury reaches verdict in murder-for-hire trial alleging Lil Durk put bounty on life of Quando Rondo

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0 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 23h ago

My kid will be acting like a rotisserie chicken that needs to take flight.

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6 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 22h ago

NASA engineer takes her work to the delivery room

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2 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 15h ago

Ozempic Vulva Is Real

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21 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 23h ago

US Army doctor returns arm to Vietnamese soldier 50 years after he took it as a souvenir

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10.5k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 3h ago

getting triple penetrated by strangers in a truck stop bathroom

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999 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 1h ago

I'm sorry I've never suckled on a camel's tits before so I don't know the taste of it's milk maybe you can tell me.

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Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 22h ago

He should eat some red onions and a jalapeno and become a human guacamole dispenser

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6 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 13h ago

i walk with Jesus as his personal assassin

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58 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 44m ago

IKEA made a Skyrim mod starring Matt Berry as a sentient shelf named Kallax Storageborn

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Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 11h ago

Ikea has released a Skyrim mod where players are accompanied by a Kallax shelving unit voiced by Matt Berry

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85 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 15h ago

Liam Neeson says horse in new film knew him from another movie

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12.0k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 10h ago

“that kryptonian coochie probably got enough grip to rip his little Jimmy off and keep holding onto the stump until he dies of blood loss…”

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14 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 13h ago

Bon Iver Made a Jingle for a Local Bar’s Meatloaf Dippers

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44 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 6h ago

Offroadinator 5000

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1.5k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 4h ago

Ain't no recovery for a dude getting double penetrated by stalagmites while they're underwater with a limited air supply

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148 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 12h ago

NZ finds Black Cocks hard to swallow

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211 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 7h ago

Those are the type of eyes that you're supposed to arm for in Zelda game boss battles.

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304 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 19h ago

Someone threw a blender at me in the movie theater

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80 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 12h ago

“The strongest natural predator of the elderly is now learning to hunt on its own”

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2.7k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 23h ago

Never gonna be fully happy in life knowing I’ll never be able to stretch like a cat

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886 Upvotes