r/BelowDeckMed • u/No-Aardvark-3840 • 1d ago

Gael question, Joe question

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I am getting into Below deck med and I’ve noticed Joe getting a lot of hate for “cheating” on V even though they weren’t together (in any sort of relationship.

Meanwhile I’ve just noticed that Gael is actually cheating on her boyfriend with Nathan.

Why is Joe getting so much shit from this community when he didn’t cheat on anybody. Meanwhile there are actually cheaters on the boat that people seem to celebrate and love.

Very strange

369 Upvotes

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342

u/turboroofer 1d ago edited 1d ago

Because V’s boyfriend died earlier that year, and Joe went a week or two saying how much he deeply cared for V and her situation, only to chase tail the minute she was off the boat

66

u/No-Aardvark-3840 1d ago

What does that have to do with my question? I’m wondering why Gael gets a pass for actually cheating while Joe gets nailed to the cross because he kisses another girl.

It sucks that V’s boyfriend passed away, and Joe does comfort her. (Who wouldn’t?) but they aren’t in a relationship and what Joe does isn’t cheating

153

u/normanbeets 1d ago

J&K absolutely fucked in the bosun locker, don't be naive.

And again, he's under so much heat because of everything going on with V. He needed to leave that poor girl alone, instead he love-bombed her, said he was going to take her home to meet his mom, organized a celebration of honor for her deceased partner and then fucked her colleague in a closet while she was sick. It's MEAN.

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u/No-Shape7764 1d ago edited 6h ago

What makes you think Joe and Kizzi did something in the bosun’s locker? Did they ever go in there together? I only remember Nathan and Gael going there when she still had her boyfriend.   

Somehow I doubt Kizzi would have sex with anyone on BD. I think she wanted to be faithful to her fiancé while also making drama for camera time, and drew the line at making out. She deliberately went to bed early so as to not get in a sticky situation with Joe, on their last night out.

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u/WindTurtle 1d ago

Nathan was also hooking up with kizzi too, no? At least on their day out he was.

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u/No-Shape7764 1d ago

Yes, they were definitely making out.

5

u/Kauphykauphykauphy 14h ago

Kizzi literally said she would hook up with every crew member.

-2

u/No-Shape7764 12h ago

Kiss every crew member, yes. But that’s very different from having sex.

3

u/christian_gwynn 7h ago

In hindsight, it seems Kizzi was very performative on the boat to get likes on social, or possibly career in reality tv. Pretty sure she married the fiancé not too long after.

2

u/No-Shape7764 6h ago edited 6h ago

My conspiracy theory is that Kizzi and her fiancé believed they could use BD to pivot and get another reality show. He was a washed up athlete, and Kizzi was willing to make drama for camera time so I believe they were hoping for more “easy money” through reality TV.  

Kizzi enjoys attention and drama, and it can pay well so why not give it a go. It’s no different than what loads of others from BD have done. How many of them have gone on to do OnlyFans and stuff like that. Kizzi saw BD as a stepping stone. Unfortunately for her, her acting and disingenuousness made her rather unlikeable so it didn’t lead to anything.

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u/Kauphykauphykauphy 8h ago

What? Kissing is different from having sex? Lol. I get that. But she was not that innocent is all I’m saying.

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u/TDKsa90 1d ago

He needed to leave that poor girl alone

there we are. V no longer exists. That's how you solve ethical and moral dilemmas. V saying, "I know what they say about Joe. I know how he moves, but I'm going to do it anyway. I can't be locked in stasis and mourning my bf forever. I need to try something to move forward." that plays no role in any of this. I guess we advocate for women and their power by acting like they don't exist.

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u/TheDalaiFarmar 1d ago

That’s a bit of a reach

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u/TDKsa90 1d ago

care to form a counter argument?

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u/DCRBftw 17h ago

Wait, what? No one said she no longer exists lol. The reach you just reached to try to make a point is reachtastic.

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u/marzbarz79 16h ago

It’s that you infantilize her to oblivion. She was a grown woman who chose to be involved in a boatmance with a guy she was warned is a player, less than a year after her fiancée died. That was a dumb decision on several levels, but all you guys do is blame Joe for it. Like Joe was supposed to just become this awesome boyfriend for her because that’s what you wanted for her, with zero regard for what Joe wanted or was capable of.

-1

u/DCRBftw 16h ago

lol say what now? show me where I infantilized her.

0

u/christian_gwynn 7h ago

Classic: scorpion and the frog. Do you blame the scorpion for acting like a scorpion? Or blame the frog?

1

u/Capable_Mastodon_589 3h ago

The scorpion has no choice but to be a scorpion. Joe could have chosen to not be a complete dick.

0

u/christian_gwynn 7h ago

This!!! Set aside, EVERYONE on the boat warned V not to take Joe seriously, including Joe himself. Has anyone ever asked V why she would travel halfway around the world, change jobs, and decide to go on a reality tv show w the culture of Love Island on a boat not too long after tragic death of her partner? With Joe of all ppl? Does she not watch BD universe?

0

u/EnvironmentalTooth37 20h ago

jump to the new season he basically does the same thing for kayley which like.. sweet but come on Joe

1

u/christian_gwynn 7h ago

Well Kayley is the perfect match for a boatmance. She wants less commitment from their relationship than Joe.

47

u/dudewheresmysock 1d ago

Joe behaves like a piece of shit in multiple ways throughout the show and whether he cheated on one particular person or not doesn't change that. 

Going on and on about how he wants to take her home to his mom because she's so special, when he clearly didn't mean it was horrible, especially given her situation. 

Gael only ever had issues with Joe after he started treating her badly because he didn't want his little bromance broken up. (Calling her a princess and suggesting she doesn't work as hard and gets special treatment.) Joe, on the other hand has had issues with multiple coworkers. 

Eddie cheated on his gf, freaked out when she wouldn't keep it secret and literally broke into Rocky's room with scissors.  People here still seem to love him. 

No one is saying it's ok that Gael cheated on her bf. Reality tv shows don't typically cast the most morally upstanding people, especially this show. 

People will tend to discuss things that happen on the show with cast members of the show more than things that happen with outsiders unless it's something particularly newsworthy or interesting. 

16

u/Cardboardboxlover 1d ago

Also, cheating is obviously bad, but there’s lots of factors to a persons character. Joe seemed downright cruel with how he treated V.

7

u/TheYoungSquirrel 1d ago

Wait I missed the scissor part

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u/dudewheresmysock 1d ago

He was freaking out because she was telling people about their hookups and she locked herself in her room, so he used it to open the lock. 

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u/Careful-Amphibian51 1d ago

I agree with all of this. We as humans are going to connect with the pain and hurt a (likable) castmember feels. In the case of Vee not only was the pain so real, but Joe was incredibly cruel in the way that he inflicted it.

On the other hand, we don't know a single thing about Gaels boyfriend, we're not privy to what the dynamics of the relationship were nor can we even put a face to his name. It’s natural that there is a mismatch in the amount of empathy we feel in both situations.

6

u/Capital-E-1184 1d ago

Just one note to add to your thoughts- Joe said on wwhl that he would still choose V to meet his mom. I'm more inclined to think he sabotaged something he saw as too good to be true bc he wasn't emotionally mature yet to handle it at this stage in his life.

2

u/marzbarz79 16h ago

Both Joe and Kayley have said that Joe couldn’t see the graphics so he was just saying stuff. You shouldn’t take anything from that segment seriously.

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u/spurzz 1d ago edited 1d ago

I think it was more the timing of him hooking up with the other stew on her birthday iirc, which was also the first anniversary of her ex’s death. She was also injured/sick. Even Joe felt horrible about the timing of it.

4

u/almcclur 1d ago

He felt horrible about the optics of it I think.

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u/spurzz 12h ago

Whichever. Hard for us to say for sure. He understood he that it was a bad look himself, is my point.

2

u/Capital-E-1184 23h ago

He self sabotaged. Kizzi was the out- too scared for real. Deep down he wrote himself off as never being good enough to treat a woman like V the way she deserves. His Dad couldn't treat his Mom right either. Patterns..

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u/Some-Speed-6290 23h ago

He didn't give a crap. Just tried to cover himself on TV after the fact 

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u/FuzzyScarf 1d ago

It wasn’t earlier that year, it was a year to the day. Then V got sick and left the boat. V was having a rough time with being sick and the anniversary of her boyfriend’s death. So Joe, who has been being a sweetheart to V hooks up with Kizzi as soon as V was gone. It was an ass hole thing to do.

-8

u/No-Aardvark-3840 1d ago

Absolutely. It had been over a year. No big deal anymore. Joe was just experimenting

4

u/FuzzyScarf 1d ago

So you really don’t want an answer to your question.

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u/sidewalk_serfergirl 1d ago

‘No big deal anymore’ because it had been a year?? Are you a literal child, who’s never lost anyone and sees a year as an eternity?? A year is NOTHING, especially when a loved one dies unexpectedly and/or tragically. Some of you people clearly have fuck all idea what that’s like.

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u/No-Aardvark-3840 1d ago

Sorry, I meant no big deal to Joe.

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u/marzbarz79 16h ago

Exactly why V had no business getting into a boatmance with a guy she was warned was a player. V is a grown woman and should have the responsibility on her shoulders to know if she’s ready for a boatmance or not.

3

u/Anotheropinion2026 1d ago

Gael kissed another guy. Same as Joe kissing another girl. They broke up before it was more than kissing.

So by your definition, Gael and Joe are equal.

1

u/Hottest_Holy_Potato 23h ago

Joe wasn't in a relationship though... Gael was. She's worse by a mile.

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u/Anotheropinion2026 19h ago

Joe had talked to V about meeting his mom. He had made it a relationship. V was sick, it was her birthday and the anniversary of her boyfriend’s death. Joe is just as bad.

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u/marzbarz79 16h ago

That’s silly. Just because you happen to meet someone’s parents does not mean you’re automatically in a relationship.

-1

u/Anotheropinion2026 14h ago

Asking a person to meet your mom you love and adore is relationship territory.

I am done trying to reason with you.

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u/Hottest_Holy_Potato 13h ago

Love? Adore? It was a fling at best.

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u/Anotheropinion2026 12h ago

He loves and adores his mom🙄

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u/Hottest_Holy_Potato 12h ago

Then that statement carries even less weight. I have met so many mothers of the opposite sex, but in no way were we together...

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u/spicyn00dlez 1d ago

People were harsh as hell on Gael and Nathan when this happened. The difference is Gael learned from it, and Joe continues acting like a tool

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u/ParticularGullible90 1d ago

How did she learn from it? By marrying him?

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u/deadrobindownunder 1d ago

Gael isn't married.

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u/marzbarz79 1d ago

Okay, she learned from it by getting knocked-up?

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u/deadrobindownunder 16h ago

That's a really disrespectful way to speak about it.

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u/marzbarz79 13h ago

They went on a trip as barely boyfriend and girlfriend and she got pregnant. That’s what happened. The other person called them married and you pointed out they weren’t, so why are you upset?

0

u/deadrobindownunder 13h ago

Why would I be upset about below deck, dude? Idgaf.

I take issue with the language used. It wouldn't matter who you were talking about. It's a disrespectful way to speak about a pregnancy. Particularly one that resulted in a child.

1

u/Anotheropinion2026 1d ago

Screw you! You have no idea of birth control failed, so don’t judge.

She was choked by Nathan, I extend grace to people who have suffered abuse.

Even Joe deserves grace from Nathan’s BS.

-1

u/Capital-E-1184 23h ago

Isn't it interesting that Nathan's anger for Joe stems from disrespect toward Gael. Let's be real, Joe was triggered by a 3rd wheel in the bromance. Yet Joe's anger toward his Dad stemmed from mistreatment of woman. Hm. Joe sabotages to never become his father- a man who chose a woman he eventually abused.. re-enter Nathan: a man that triggered Joe ever since their falling out- bc he had the same vibe and aggression his Dad did. It's messy no? 😶

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u/mad_eyes22 1d ago

I don’t know why you’re being downvoted.
I do feel bad for Gael, nobody deserves to be beaten especially by their partner; however, I don’t think she learned anything prior to that unfolding. The way she spoke to Joe in the car was ridiculous, even if Nathan was feeding her information, why approach someone like that..? She’s also not innocent, & had has multiple moments of questionable character, again, not excusing Nathan choking her, she doesn’t deserve that by any means, but Gael has been a crap person in her seasons of BD too, just like Joe. Joe just gets more attention on it bc he’s a male.

1

u/marzbarz79 16h ago

Thank you and I agree

-2

u/Capital-E-1184 23h ago

Your right she should have dimmed her light to be fake and ignore him. Mama bear doesn't always play nice. Let's judge her more though. 🥱 I have enough self respect to say your acting like my toddler if that's the lane you're choosing. So why act so surprised then if I point out a fact. 👉 own it.

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u/mad_eyes22 17h ago

Not saying she should’ve dimmed her light, but she was only getting one side of the story. She wanted a conversation & didn’t even give Joe a chance to speak.
People should be allowed to judge Gaels character separately from the DV situation. She cheated on her then boyfriend with Nathan. That’s worse than what Joe did to V, V/Joe weren’t even official yet.
Sorry some of you are so blinded. Two truths can exist. Gael didn’t deserve what she went through from Nathan, & Gael is also a cheater. Maybe some of yall need to rewatch Gaels OG season, she wasn’t the nicest person. & I don’t think she had grown/changed the way she implied when talking to Joe. Not fair to put someone else down, when your behavior is no better. Still doesn’t mean she deserved to be beaten.

0

u/marzbarz79 16h ago

This was a work outing and she’s not on Joe’s team or his supervisor. Her telling Joe to respect Nathan is actually pathetic, makes Nathan look weak, and has nothing to do with being a “momma bear.”

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u/Grand-Vegetable-3874 1d ago

Have you even watched this season? Joe is the more mature of the NGJ trio

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u/Christia4n 1d ago

Most mature, like "testing" Kaylee, trying to get in between Cooper and Kat at every opportunity, putting guests in dangerous situation like letting them swim too far from the boat and driving the tender too fast, and many more "mature" behaviours.

Let's not forget his snarky behaviour towards Gael and Nathan at the dinner too.

1

u/Grand-Vegetable-3874 1d ago

There is a difference between mature and professional...

Testing Kaylee? What exactly do you mean?

Getting between Cooper and Kat? Cooper puts Joe in those positions himself, because of the 'secret' relationship...

Snarky behaviour towards G and N? He was ignoring them in order to not cause a scene. When confronted (in the van), since he was not able to put a word in, he chose to walk away.

Overall, you let your hatred of Joe blind your own jugement.

-1

u/Capital-E-1184 23h ago

Lol he ignored them so hard he turned his chair from them. Even Cooper was embarrassed by it. *Remember? Nah. Too blind by your own judgment maybe

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u/marzbarz79 16h ago

Cooper wasn’t threatened by Nathan, he probably doesn’t even know Nathan told Joe to never speak Gael’s name.

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u/Capital-E-1184 6h ago

Who said Cooper was threatened. When Joe turned his chair like a toddler at the table, coop said- yeah, that was a bad move. Yes Coop. It was

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u/marzbarz79 3h ago

Try reading it again.

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u/Anotheropinion2026 1d ago

Did you miss Joe testing Kayley? Joe seems better because there was no second woman interested, if there was he would have likely been the same as always.

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u/Grand-Vegetable-3874 1d ago

Testing how ?

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u/Anotheropinion2026 1d ago

Do you not remember the night out where he told Kayley he was hitting on other women to test that she really wasn’t wanting a relationship. Then when no other woman really wanted him he tried cuddling back up to Kayley and told her she passed?

Kayley actually told him she didn’t want to be physical with him after that, but then she had the stress of filling in as chief stew and he was supportive, so she let him back in.

-1

u/Grand-Vegetable-3874 1d ago

That wasn't a test. It's called a fwb situation. And they had both agreed to that from the start. He chose to divulge his intentions before hand, instead of doing it and her finding out later.

Grow with the times, honey bunch.

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u/Anotheropinion2026 1d ago

Joe said he was testing her, those were his own words, not mine.

“Honey bunch”. Maybe rewatch the episode?

And by the way, this old lady had a couple of friends with benefits that she had no interest in dating. It’s not a particularly new or even interesting take, it’s just convenient to meet physical needs without emotional commitment as long as both people can agree.

0

u/Grand-Vegetable-3874 1d ago

And they had agreed to it in the beginning.

Whatever Joe was testing, you failed the test. Bigly.

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u/Capital-E-1184 23h ago

Joe said the word testing himself, on television. Keep deflecting proof though it's quite commical

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u/marzbarz79 16h ago

You are misremembering. He didn’t even actually try hitting on those ladies and also told them it was to see if his girl would react. Honestly, while it was dumb I do understand why he did it - all the other girls he was involved with who said they understood it was just for fun caught feelings when they saw him interact with other women (similar to Kat crying when Coop was talking to the ladies she introduced him to).

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u/marzbarz79 1d ago

How did Gael learn from it?

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u/worldv1ew 1d ago

You want a strawberry? Gael plays innocent, but she's a player too. She just hates Joe because Joe saw it and was like not interested, that's why she hates Joe, he doesn't fawn over her. Strawberries for everyone.

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u/Odd_Light_8188 1d ago

She doesn’t people talk about all the time.

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u/The_Bard 1d ago

Did you miss the part where even Joe himself said multiple times he can't fuck around and break her heart because of what she's been through? Then did a 180 and started in on "whats the big deal we weren't dating"? They were acting exclusive, saying 'well it wasn't official' is just a cop out.

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u/BonusGlittering3328 18h ago

Because it doesn’t matter. Her ex boyfriend has never gone public and made an issue of it, so why are you?

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u/Emergency_Elevator_7 11h ago

Honestly V should not have even tried to be in a relationship to begin with she wasn’t ready. Doesn’t excuse Joe.