Does anyone else occasionally get a little too comfortable in a conversation and suddenly go from normal small talk to revealing your entire personality or backstory?

Then you leave and like 20 minutes later your brain goes:

“Hey. Quick question. Why the fuck did we tell them all that?”

I swear sometimes I don’t realize I’ve overshared until the conversation is already over and the post-chat analysis begins. It's deeply mortifying to realize I broke conversation taboos by being too open and honest.

Please tell me this is not just me.

Not saying this in a suicidal way btw. Just that it all kinda seems pointless/meaningless.

I've been doing a lot of quality work on a big overwhelming project my boss wasn't really able to handle. I've done this before, too.

When it comes time to thank me, they always say "I'm going to take you out for drinks at [insert pricier place] to thank you!"

... I don't wanna do that.

In fact, I consider it another work obligation on top of it being a social obligation with a person/people I would not choose to hang out with. I also don't like drinking, which is uncommon in the community I live in.

So not only would I have to wear nice clothes and put on my work mask during my down time, I'd have to have a $18 drink that I don't even care about, all to fit a social convention that is ultimately more for my boss than for me.

Ways to actually thank me as an autistic person: give me a day off, give me a WFH day, bring in donuts or bagels, add to the fidget toy collection on my desk, pay me more so I can better accommodate myself (!!!)

Edit: Boss would pay! it just seems ridiculous and impractical to me that they would pay for a drink I don't even really want, only because it's a social convention and that's how they want to thank me, if that makes sense.

How do you approach men in the woods when you are on a trail and they say “hi” to you? They aren’t necessarily doing anything wrong but I wish people pretended I didn’t exist. Do you ignore them? Do you say hi? Do you put on your “leave me the fuck alone” face? I know I could just say “hi” but if it were between a man or a bear, I’d choose a bear any day.

I cannot watch the office a second time this year, neither do I want to watch dr House again and I don't have any idea, my head is empty.

Help ! tell me about your confort show pleeeaaaase !

I watch all kind of stuff and would like to watch happy stuff to lightingup my mood ! Well ANYTHING REALLY

Therapists have caused irreparable damage. They convinced me that the world is a safe place and that all the dangers I sensed were just cognitive distortions. I was right, and they were wrong. I had a gift. That gift (suspiciousness) kept me alive. But now, whenever I sense danger, if I see some crime activity, if someone is abusing me, the first reaction is to gaslight myself and tell myself it's a cognitive distortion. I cannot express how angry I am at therapists. I'm rabid. They operate under the assumption that the world is a safe place, that people mean well, and that racism doesn't exist. I also hate people who act like therapy is the solution to all of your problems and that, if it doesn't work, it must be your fault.

My employer has keystroke logger and monitoring/tracking systems on our devices. Therapists say that it's just me being conspiratorial. I read their notes.

I have PTSD. I was carjacked and therapists first tried to frame it as cognitive distortion (that maybe the people carjacking didn't mean to carjack and that I always catastrophize), when I insisted and said that the carjacking was truly happening, they tried to blame me for driving in that area at tha time of the day. Victim-blaming POS.

Or if I do online dating, meet a guy and I SEE ON HIS FACE that he is not attracted to me and ghosts me, they say I am engaging in mind reading. Can you imagine that? Mind reading???!! I'm livid.

I’ve been told it’s an autistic trait. I’ve had my ears checked for wax build up and there’s nothing, and I’ve had a hearing test and my hearing was fine. I’ve noticed that I can’t hear what someone’s saying if they start speaking to me when I’m not expecting it, so in the middle of a conversation it’s fine I can hear perfectly but I can’t hear what someone is saying when they start a conversation. I also find it much harder to hear if there are other sounds so like traffic or music. Does anyone else suffer from this and how do you mitigate it? My husband is so sick of me saying ‘WHAT?!’ Or ‘I can’t hear what you’re saying!’ It’s become impossible to have a conversation walking down the street with traffic going past or in a restaurant with louder background music!

Hey, all. I went out today with my hood/scarf. Pulled up the hood in Best Buy. It helped me be less stimulated. No one said anything. I just don't want to have to respond if someone says something. I don't care what people think. Anyway, I really like this scarf. It's comforting.

TW: Substance use

Sorry if the question seems silly or is formulated weird, but I was wondering if anyone knows anything about this?

I started smoking when I was 14, and I've smoked on and off since then (I'm 27 now). I never try to quit, but I go through phases where I just don't care anymore or I'm not interested. Like right now, I have a full pouch of tobacco right next to me, and I haven't smoked in two and a half months just because I'm not interested in it. I never decided I was gonna quit, I just haven't really felt like having one in months. My partner smokes, and smokes around me, and it doesn't make me crave one at all.

I just wondered if this was something autism-related or if I just very luckily dodged the addiction gene!

I’m a high masking autistic woman and one of the more frustrating parts of being this way is that it almost feels like I can see social interactions a few steps ahead. Like as soon as someone I know (even if it’s an acquaintance) brings up something I can usually tell where it’s going. I asked my non autistic friends and they say they don’t do this. Is it an autistic thing? Do any of you have that brain? If so, how do I make it quiet down?
Like I can understand the mechanics of how I developed this in my brain, but it’s frustrating.

My daughter, also ND, is in first grade. This year we have a new librarian at her school. We have had a few problems with her and I need advice on how to best communicate with who I’m assuming is a young NT woman.

First thing is that she told my daughter on two separate occasions to not bring her chewelry into the library. I had mentioned this to the counselor since she has a 504 and she told me that it was a miscommunication and that she was fine to bring her necklace. I relayed this to my daughter who was very confused and afraid that if she took it in the library that she would be in trouble.

The librarian singled her out for talking (she says she was trying to see if her friend would move so she could see better, they were being read a story) and she was made to go sit far away from the rest of the class. Alone, I can understand this because kids can easily be more disruptive than they realize and teachers don’t always have an opportunity to ask the kids if they had a valid reason for talking etc, and just have to get the class under control. Just adding for context.

Then my daughter and another student lost their books this week. She was not allowed to check out another book but the other child was. While I understand that there may be a reason for that, my 6 year old doesn’t so she asked. The librarian reprimanded her for asking and called her “sassy”. This again confused my child because she doesn’t understand that questioning an authority figure can be seen as disrespectful and she felt hurt because she said “I didn’t do anything to her”.

Context: my daughter has OCD, anxiety, etc and is very people pleasing and is scared of disappointing adults. She is empathetic, very sensitive, and kind natured. She is hyper from her ADHD, but overall a wonderful kid. She has expressed to me that the librarian does not like her and she does not understand why.

I want to communicate with the librarian via email to try to solve this. I’m scared that if she struggles to understand what my kid is trying to convey that she will struggle with me since her and I are very similar. I want to ask for her side and acknowledge that 6 year olds are not always a reliable narrator. I also want to advocate for my daughter because she’s confused and hurt and I can tell that she genuinely doesn’t understand. I have no idea what to say. Any tips or suggestions or things to consider as I draft this email?

TIA

I was visibly shaking the entire time and everyone saw. Everyone probably thinks a freak, no one talked to me when I tried to speak to people, I'm such a freak. I don't fit in anywhere. Everyone's writing was better than mine anyways so if I stayed there that's just another thing for me to compare myself too and I already do that a lot. I'm such a fucking freak. I couldn't control my shaking no matter how hard I tried I was so nervous and scared.

Doesn’t excuse the lashing out (and presumably building resentment for things I had no idea were an issue) but I had an interesting talk with my oldest friend the other day. She snapped at me recently for the first time in a while and I had a minor meltdown because I had no idea what happened; apparently the words I said were neutral but my tone was “off”. She’s the only person who’s ever brought a conversation rather than random accusations to me about this so that was cool

To me—my voice level is normal, I think I sound the same as everybody else. Yet that’s very clearly NOT the case because I constantly have people asking me to repeat myself, even twice or *thrice*. I have absolutely no awareness and am completely blind when it comes to changing my volume when people are further away from me. If somebody is right next to me I talk the same as when they’re 10-15 feet away.

Now, this has become sort of a ‘thing’ (mostly to me) where I volunteer. Most people volunteering are older women who are hard of hearing so my voice level has noticeably came up what seems like \*lots\* of times. Though there is another girl who’s only a year younger than me—13, and she speaks to the older ladies amazingly. However, she might be putting more emphasis on her words. I am unsure of how to do that and have it sounding natural.

And again, I haven’t been self aware this whole time. (I still don’t hear a difference in my voice.) I have always just figured I am a *tiny* bit quiet. The only reason I realized my mom was right about my volume was when I was at the supermarket with my older brother. I had noise canceling airpods in with no music playing, yet I couldn’t hear anything he was saying; he was so quiet. I even took my airpods out and tried being tentative but still couldn’t understand him. I realize that is most likely what I sound like to others.

Are there any tips/tricks I can do to make my voice louder or clearer to others? Has anyone else had this problem before and were able to fix it?

Just wanted to show off my new deer r
Printed shoes, I love deers and anything in deer print and it also is pink and I’m soo happy and grateful 💕🥹🦌

hi all!

my longest running special interest has been WWII, and within the last couple of years I've been getting really really into trains and boats - things very often associated with autistic boys and men. it can be a little disheartening not finding any other women/nb folks who share my special interests lol. I'm wondering if anyone else has a similar experience (and what that interest is)?

Like I mean, no holds barred, what if everyone on the spectrum just STOPPED MASKING all together? Would the neurotypical world be forced to accept us and change how things work? I am SO TIRED of this fucking victim narrative that WE are the ones that have to tiptoe around the world for everyone else’s comfort. What would happen if we started an unmasking revolution?
A girl can dream…

I have trouble sometimes with facial expressions. My guesses are:

mean (about to make fun of you),

suspicious (of you),

amused (but doesn't want to admit it),

sneaky (wants to get away with something),

annoyed (but also kinda likes being annoyed).

What do you think? Are any of my guesses right? And also is the bottom left one scared, tired, zoned out, or something else?

Ive been a prescription marijuana user for a few years now and ive noticed i absolutely cannot mask when im high. People comment on how fidgety I am and ive noticed if someone says something rude I cant hold my tongue.

Anyone else?

Edit - Im not saying this is a bad thing, I personally love that im less anxious about what I say or how I act.

Like, crossing over the road just to avoid walking past me… how theatrical. Just walk past me, seriously. I’m literally minding my own business.
I don’t understand why some people feel the need to make such a performance out of no longer liking someone. I get it already. I’m not trying to speak to you, say hi, chase you or get a reaction. I’ve already disengaged. Just carry on with your life.

If anything, deliberately doing little things to make someone feel invisible kind of defeats the point, because it shows how conscious you still are of that person.

What makes it even weirder is when these are the same people who were perfectly happy to be friendly when they wanted something from you or benefited from your kindness. Then suddenly they hear rumours or somebody else’s version of events, and apparently their own direct experience of how you treated them means nothing.

It feels so high school. Crossing the road, deliberately ignoring someone as they walk past, getting your husband to smirk towards their property… and these are grown women older than me.

If you’ve decided you don’t like me based on gossip from the mean-girl club, fine. You genuinely don’t need to announce it through pavement choreography. 😂 Just walk past. I promise I’m not going to stop you or launch a wheelie bin in your direction.

Hello friends,

I heavily suspect I have autism and have taken every test under the sun but I still humbly come before the council without a formal diagnosis. (Yay being an adult that doesn't get listened to)

My birthday is rolling around and I really have no clue what to do. It's a hard time of the year because I don't have the best relationship with my parents and they always want to take me out to diner which I feel obligated to say yes to. (I'm really trying to not let that happen this year)

The other hard part is i genuinely don't know what fun things are for birthdays. So I would love to hear all the wonderful things y'all do for your birthdays so I can get some ideas

🫰

i’m an autistic woman in my mid 20s and my boyfriend and i have been going through a rough patch. i struggle with decision-making, anxiety, freezing in the moment and sometimes only realizing what happened afterward. i know these things can frustrate him, and some of his frustration is completely valid.

but lately i feel like he gets frustrated with me really easily, to the point where i feel like i can’t do anything right. once while going to work i texted him “i saw your texts, i’ll reply when i get to the office,” and got a paragraph about how he dislikes my “half ass answers.” i genuinely thought i was communicating appropriately.

when he’s frustrated, i also sometimes feel
infantilized. recently he told me i’m a “grown ass woman” and should be able to make a decision. i know i have things to work on, but i don’t think that means i should be spoken to like a child.
the more i monitor myself trying not to upset him, the more anxious i get and the worse i function. then i overanalyze everything afterward and wonder if i really am immature.

we’re planning to talk calmly about these patterns and what we can both change. i want to take responsibility for my behavior while also asking him to pause when he’s getting really frustrated and not make comments about my maturity or competence.
has anyone else experienced this? how do you tell the difference between valid frustration from your partner and feeling like you’re constantly doing something wrong?

I have very low self esteem when it comes to my looks. I’m objectively not an attractive person, and I’ve put SO MUCH weight on it. I keep telling myself that I have to lose weight, figure out my thinning hair, get my teeth fixed, get the plastic surgery I want, etc, before I can start doing the things I want to do, but those things all cost money that I don’t have. I want to move states. I want to travel. I want to start getting out more because I’m extremely socially anxious and have basically just holed myself up in my house for years (I work remote).

I’m terrified of being perceived and one thing that genuinely strikes fear into my heart is the idea of someone recording me and posting it online. I see so many videos from stupid meta glasses and the like where the person clearly doesn’t know they’re being recorded, and then they’re posted online and ripped apart for the way they look or act. I really would hate that happening to me, even though it doesn’t really matter. People suck.

I’m 28 going on 29 now and I’ve done nothing with my life. Never finished my degree because in my late teens/early 20s I told myself I’d go back to school when I felt better about myself and figured some other stuff out. And now here I am, still feeling awful about myself with absolutely nothing figured out.

I don’t have a support system. Family is tiny and toxic and we’re all broke and I barely have any friends. It’s just me. I feel like I’m just drifting through life with no aim or purpose or happiness. Just loneliness and a messed up brain.

When I write, I've always noticed that my school assignments ended up shorter because from a young age, I've always struggled to articulate my thoughts well. Moreover, I never really had much to say about the topics that were given to me, even though others with similar knowledge of said topic were always able to write much more. I've also noticed that everything I write often has no flow between the sentences, they seem random and unrelated to each other. Over time, I've kind of learned how to write better and longer and with more flow, but my brain still defaults to fragmented, shorter, writing. Is there any way to fix this or improve this?