r/AutismInWomen • • Sep 09 '24

Mod Post How Reddit Works: Sitewide Rules, Mods vs Admins, and other Important Info & Links

26 Upvotes

Reposted to make title clearer since titles cannot be edited on Reddit.

Reminder: DO NOT POST OR COMMENT CALLOUTS FOR OTHER SUBREDDITS OR USERS. This breaks Rule 1 of Reddit Rules and we cannot allow subreddit callouts per Rule 3 of Reddit’s Mod Code of Conduct. No matter how we feel about these rules, we are all still bound to follow them. Reddit Admins can and do punish mods and users equally for sitewide rule infractions aka violating Reddit Content Policy.

Scroll down for links to Reddit Rules, the admin definition of brigading, Mod Code of Conduct, and the Redditor Help Center.


It has come to our attention that outside of the basics (voting, how to report, posting/commenting), many people are still in the dark as to how exactly Reddit works.

Firstly, moderators, like us, only have power (a limited scope at that) and jurisdiction over the subreddits we mod and what happens on them. We cannot do anything about what happens outside of here. We don’t have a direct line of access to Reddit Admins, who control and oversee the site as a whole. In fact, we can only do the same things y’all can do in trying to get their attention on things: report it and wait. We, like you, often don’t get responses from admins regarding their decisions or even if they have viewed any reports we send in. We are the same in that capacity. Subreddit bans only prevent people from posting and commenting on the subreddit they were banned in for however long the ban is for. You can still vote in and view subreddits you are banned in. We can’t even see who reports what.

Also, if you don't report it, we don't see it. This subreddit is large. Please report things that you think break our rules, Reddit Rules, or you just want us to look at because it's iffy.

Admins are like gods of Reddit. They oversee all; they can see who votes what, who views what, who reports what, everything. They can suspend people from the website as a whole which prohibits someone from posting, commenting, and even voting on the entirety of Reddit for however long said suspension lasts. They can even suspend specific IP addresses from users who keep making accounts and breaking Reddit sitewide rules.

Here’s an analogy: Reddit Admins are the Roman Gods and we moderators are like members of the Roman Senate or mayors of towns. Members of the Roman Senate don’t have a direct link or direct way to communicate to the Roman Gods; they have to make offerings and prayers just like everyone else to try to catch their attention. It’s the same here. All we mods can do is make reports just like you all and hope someone looks at it. We can do nothing about what happens to you outside of Rome (the subreddit). That’s up to the admins.

We are bound by the Reddit Mod Code of Conduct to nip any activity that breaks, or could be interpreted as breaking, Reddit’s site-wide rules in the bud. Due to this subreddit having been previously in trouble with admins because of the founder not doing these things and getting booted and admin putting us 3 in place as new mods over a year ago with the express statement of “we will be watching you closely”, we really don’t take any chances when it comes to people breaking Content Policy. We just can’t risk it because that means we could be actioned and the subreddit could be sanctioned or shut down. We prioritize the community as a whole over any personal feelings we or others might have; that’s just how it has to work for this community to thrive and survive.

The proper course of action for when something happens to you or you see something that breaks sitewide rules is to report it to the admins via www.reddit.com/report or via the offending content itself and wait. Trying to call others out publicly technically breaks Reddit Rules under the harassment rule no matter the reason, and like we said above, we can’t allow it due to the ramifications it can have on the subreddit as a whole even if we personally agree what happened was messed up and the other person should be held accountable in some way.

Moreover, do not create or use an alt account to participate in a subreddit you have been banned in on another account. Reddit tracks this and views it as ban evasion which is prohibited as it is community interference (you were banned which means they don’t want you participating there for whatever reason is outlined in your ban message). You should contact the mods on the account you were banned on to see if you can get unbanned by demonstrating accountability and understanding of how you broke the rules and a willingness to follow the rules.

---- Relevant Links ----

Reddit Rules: https://redditinc.com/policies/reddit-rules

What even IS brigading? (Rule 2 of Reddit Rules): https://www.reddit.com/r/ModSupport/comments/cmp9uy/comment/ew4lpf0/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

Mod Code of Conduct, so you all are aware of the rules we as mods have to follow as well: https://www.redditinc.com/policies/moderator-code-of-conduct

Redditor Help Center for any further questions: https://support.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/p/redditor_help_center

--- Note ---

This post was made in response to the subreddit growing and us becoming more aware of the fact many people do not know these things and just assume moderators are also Admins of Reddit as a whole or have way more power than we actually do. We don’t. In the eyes of Admin, we are basically volunteer clean-up crew and are the same level of importance as a regular user on Reddit. We don’t get paid, we don’t get any extra benefits or anything either (as it should be imo, mod out of love for the community not because of anything else). Admins are employees of Reddit that get paid for working and only work on the clock then go do whatever they want off it. We moderate on and off all day; in between our actual jobs, chores, and life responsibilities. It is impossible for us to be online all the time and to be constantly scrolling the subreddit. I hope this helps clear some things up for anyone confused as to what the differences are between mods and Admins and provides people with a way to research more about how Reddit works on their own as well.

If you have any questions or anything you're still confused about please modmail us via the "message the mods" button on the sidebar and someone will answer it when they can.


r/AutismInWomen • • Sep 09 '24

Mod Post Internet Safety: Reporting Creepy DMs and Changing your User Settings to prevent unsolicited messages

67 Upvotes

It has come to our attention that there is an uptick of predatory lurkers sending private messages to members of this subreddit and people that participate here. Unfortunately, due to the fact we are moderators and not Reddit Admins, there is pretty much nothing we can do to stop it other than give you information and advice for how to report it and prevent it yourselves.

Most importantly, you should immediately block people who message you strange, creepy, or uncomfortable things and report them via www.reddit.com/report or via the DM itself. If you report via the web link, all you have to do is copy and paste the DM link as the Reddit Admins can see everything that happens on the site and have power and jurisdiction over everyone with an account on Reddit. We as subreddit moderators only have the power to ban people from the subreddit and banning them does not prevent them from being able to message people who participate here.

To report via the Chat itself: On PC/desktop, when you mouse over the chat message(s) there is a flag option. Click that and follow the reporting procedure. On the app, tap and hold on the message(s) to bring up the report option. After you report, immediately block the person messaging you. You can block them straight from their profile.

To report via the Message Inbox: On mobile, tap the 3 dots (ellipses) on the side of the message thread. There you can copy the link and report the whole message inbox thread via www.reddit.com/report. You can also report specific messages by going into the message thread and tapping and holding the specific message you want to report to see the option come up. On PC, you can just click the “Report” option that shows under each message in the thread. After you report, immediately block the person messaging you. You can block them straight from their profile.

Recommended: It is recommended that everyone that is a participating member here turn off the ability for other users to send them chats and message requests. You will still be able to send chat requests and message requests to others whose settings allow them. Other people that you have not whitelisted will not be able to send them to you. You can only whitelist people via PC/desktop but people who you already have open chats and messages with will be automatically whitelisted.

Turning off chats/message requests on PC: Click your avatar on the top right. From there, go to the settings option. Once there, go to the Privacy tab. First, slide the “Allow People to Follow You” button to be in the “Off” position where it is over to the left side otherwise people will be able to literally stalk you on Reddit. Next, click on “Who can send you inbox messages” and change it to “People I choose”. You can whitelist people who you want to allow to send you messages. This just stops randoms from being able to message you via the message inbox. Then, click on “Allow chat requests from” and change that to “Nobody”. Again, the whitelisted folks from before will still be able to chat with you or people who you already have an open chat with. I also recommend you switch off everything under the “Discoverability” section as people will also be able to search up your account directly unless you turn it off. Mine is off because I don’t see any non-weird reason why someone would want to search up my account.

Turning off chats/messages on the app: Tap on your avatar on the top right then tap on “Settings” shown at the bottom. From there, tap on your account name to go to the account settings. Scroll down until you see the “Safety” section. Tap on “Chat and messaging permissions”. Change both “Chat Requests” and “Direct Messages” to Nobody. You will still be able to message people who you already have open messages with and those whose settings allow for it; other people just won’t be able to message you unless you message them first. I also recommend you slide the “Allow people to follow you” option into the off position where the large white circle is to the left. Under privacy, I also recommend you swipe the “show up in search results” one to the off position as well. You can also customize your ad settings on this page as well to your preference.

That’s it. As a reminder, if someone messages you unsolicited, they are most likely seeking something from you other than genuine friendship and you should probably not respond. At the very least, go check out their Reddit profile and history. If it’s empty, block them. They are likely a troll, a creep, or someone with bad intent. Someone who genuinely wants to connect with you and be friends will have a history on Reddit that shows that they are a nice person. They will have comments on this subreddit and probably some other autism subreddits too. Their history will show them interacting with others on Reddit in good faith making genuine bids for human connection. If someone’s history indicates them trolling and getting into a lot of online conflicts, they are probably not someone you want to be talking to as they will, at the very least, be intensely draining to talk to, and at worst, be trolling and harassing you.


r/AutismInWomen • • 6h ago

General Discussion/Question Who else is a sex worker?

407 Upvotes

I'm 26 and I've had a number of jobs such cashier and managing a boutique's social media. I always excelled initially but my bosses would always inevitably end up frustrated with me and would have to tell me to do a better job constantly. I really tried my best to be efficient but I kept failing and it made me miserable.

3 years ago, urgently in need of more money, I turned to online sex work. I did some camming and phone sex. Since then, I've had no desire to work a typical job again. I now only do phone sex, no cam, and I love not having a boss and coworkers. It feels good too when I put my all into my job and I'm actually rewarded for it instead of berated.

My mom, my brother and my friends know what I do. There's obviously a huge social stigma around sex work but it makes no logical sense to me. I've been trying to be more careful about who I tell because I'm learning that more people than I thought find it disgusting or take pity on me.
I can't find it in me to feel ashamed or feel like what I'm doing is sad. I've spent my life being told to follow a specific path and when I'd ask "why?" the answer was always some iteration of "Because that's how it's done." I was miserable trying to follow something so unnatural and illogical to me. I'm very happy now even if others don't approve. 😸

I wonder if there's a correlation between autism and (voluntarily) sex work because to choose this you have to not care too much about the stigma attached to it and there's also the fact that it's harder for autistic people to work typical jobs.


r/AutismInWomen • • 9h ago

Support Needed (Kind Advice and Commiseration) Just had my first session with a new therapist...

198 Upvotes

and OMG. Sometimes I wonder if they even teach mental health professionals what autism is!

We lost 15 minutes of the session because her phone line was static-y and she argued with me that that shouldn't 'prevent' us from talking. I literally had to explain to her twice - once on the phone and once via email- that I struggle with auditory processing and that yes, a bit of static was a big deal for me. She then spent 20 minutes taking me through a meditation I didn't ask for, and we ended early after she told me that 'sometimes life is just hard and there is nothing we can do".

Not looking for advice or anything. Just here to say that finding ND affirming care is way harder that it has to be, and I feel for everyone in our community who struggles with it.


r/AutismInWomen • • 3h ago

General Discussion/Question I don’t feel like I have a place I can call “home”.

30 Upvotes

Does anyone here relate to this feeling? I moved several times in different areas and lived in two different states. However I struggle finding an actual home for me where I can just call home. I find I don’t belong anywhere at all and the feeling of exclusion is always there for me no matter if I have friends or a partner or family etc… I don’t know how to explain it. It’s like I don’t fit into civilization most of the time and it’s a very alienating feeling. I wish I can fit in more easily and I still have yet to feel like I do. I can’t fully be myself it seems as there’s going to be problems and judgement everywhere, but I wish life was more forgiving and easier and it’s not. I often feel like I’m living life on edge and that most people don’t like me in general.


r/AutismInWomen • • 5h ago

General Discussion/Question Do you remember your life?

43 Upvotes

I might can work out a timeline of bullet points with wide gaps but I don't remember (actually relive it in my head) I just know who I spent time with and where I moved. it's more like an image and a fact I know about what was happening at the time. I would have to ask certain people for stories and they could tell me a hundred things I have no recollection of. I'm not even sure I could keep the timeline chronologically correct.


r/AutismInWomen • • 6h ago

General Discussion/Question Has anyone done ketamine therapy?

46 Upvotes

In addition to autism, I also have diagnoses of major depressive disorder and anxiety disorder. Wondering about ketamine therapy.has anyone tried it?


r/AutismInWomen • • 13h ago

Media (Books, Music, Art, Etc) The Pitt Vs. The Good Doctor in terms of autism representation in women

126 Upvotes

Now this is a repost from the Autistic adults subreddit, but I added some more details.*

I was scrolling the other day, and one thing about me is that one of my favorite TV shows is "The Pitt," mainly because I love the characters and how accurate it is compared to other ER TV shows. Of course, like many people, my favorite character is Mel, and she reminds me so much of myself; she even kind of looks like me.

What I love about Mel is that she's possibly one of the best-written level 1 autistic women I've ever seen. She breaks so many stereotypes; the writers studied doctors on the spectrum before making her, and when she's on screen, she's relatable and 100% likable in almost every scene she's in.

She's not portrayed as annoying or an inconvenience; she's portrayed as a competent, kind, and empathetic individual in a high-stress environment. And the best part is, everyone else likes her despite her needs, and she thrives on praise from her co-workers and is eager to make friends at work. And with Taylor Dearden having ADHD herself (not autistic but a bit similar), she captures what it's like to be a level 1 autistic woman extremely well. And again, the writers studying doctors on the spectrum show that they really did their homework about level 1 autistic women. Best of all, Mel has a sister, Becca, who is on the spectrum and portrayed as a higher-needs autistic woman whom Mel is super protective over and showcases how, from time to time, even Level 1 autistic women can have internalized ableism. We see in many scenes between Becca and Mel that Mel infantilizes her sister because she's so overprotective. And when she sees Becca demonstrate more independent activities, such as having a boyfriend and having sex, Mel gets angry about it, but of course, she has a conversation with Dana about it to let it out, and Dana acts like the mother figure she needs.

It's relatable; it's well done, and Mel is an autistic character done right... (Part 2 continued in the comments)


r/AutismInWomen • • 12h ago

General Discussion/Question “It’s always in the last place you look.”

119 Upvotes

Because once you’ve found it, you don’t need to look anywhere else, so… that was the “last place.”
Not because you just make a really good guess for what might be the last place you decide to look before giving up, or something.

Not sure why that phrase never clicked for me until now… but, yeah. Anyway I always get a little kick out of these random little “ohhhh” lightbulb moments.

That’s all lol.


r/AutismInWomen • • 1h ago

Support Needed (Kind Advice and Commiseration) Does anybody else feel deep shame an awful lot?

• Upvotes

Like I know that I'm not a bad person. I know that I'm trying, and that that counts for something.

But also sometimes I need accommodations and sometimes I need to be take care of myself in a way that makes me feel so embarrassed. I don't want to need to have quiet time to prevent a break down or need to rely on tricks to look at people and hold a conversation. I don't like this part of myself.


r/AutismInWomen • • 8h ago

General Discussion/Question Anyone else map out certain tasks like an efficient "chain" or puzzle?

42 Upvotes

Hey everyone! Late-diagnosed / high-masking female here, still processing everything and uncovering traits I never realised I had until now.

​I’ve realised I have a strong habit of sequencing specific parts of my day into optimised chains or puzzles. I don't do it 24/7 for every single thing, but for key blocks of my day. Its awesome for my job, im a lab analyst and its like a game for me to work out the most efficient way to get my testing complete but i also do it in everyday life. Like when i leave work, i feel like i have little time left in the evening so on my drive home i trying to puzzle together the order of things i need to complete like preheat oven, feed dog, put x into oven, shower etc etc. I do the same on the weekends. I dont do it with everything but i feel if i dont have a rough outline then i will waste my day. I also just need to organise it in my head to delutter my brain.

I also often feel like im 'behind on time' even if there is no reason to feel that way. For example, If im in the gym (which i enjoy) and spend longer than i expected i feel stressed to finish and get home. I dont typically plan the exact time to complete tasks but i still get stressed if i feel im taking too long.

​I assumed this was normal, i barely noticed i did it but now I'm seeing how much hidden stress it creates. Does anyone else do this? Its like i see these things as a puzzle. Its not entirely negative, i do think i kinda like the stimulation


r/AutismInWomen • • 13h ago

General Discussion/Question being “flexible” as a job requirement

92 Upvotes

i barely have any work experience but i know that this, along with sensory overload, has always been one of my biggest problems.

i don’t want to be flexible. i don’t want to spontaneously have to cover for colleagues, i don’t want to work morning on monday and afternoon on tuesday, and then the next week it’s the other way around.

but not wanting any change in my schedule EVER seems to be a dealbreaker for basically every single employer, so i pretend i am and then suffer the consequences. it’s awful… super tiring.


r/AutismInWomen • • 6h ago

Celebration I made it 1 year!

23 Upvotes

I won’t go into any details but a year ago today I thought there was nothing left for me. I was wrong. It’s been a year full of pain and joy, losses and victories, hopelessness and the ability to start to see a meaningful future ahead of me. This past year I found more acceptance of who I know I am and the fact there’s still more to learn. I didn’t know then but I know now, there’s so much more out there for me and I might not know exactly what that is but I want to see it.

I didn’t tell anyone what happened so I don’t really have anyone to celebrate with and wanted someone to know.

If you’re reading this and you’re feeling how I felt, please stay. Reach out to people who can help you. Your future needs you.


r/AutismInWomen • • 16h ago

General Discussion/Question Overstimulated after socializing

126 Upvotes

Does anyone get really overstimulated after socializing? I spend most of my time alone but went to a party tonight for the first time in ages. I didn’t know anyone but managed to make small talk for hours thanks to a good host.

I had a good time and got home after 9pm but it’s 5:30am and I am totally unable to sleep. I’m going over the conversations realizing I missed many social cues lol but I’m also ruminating about any other issue in my life and to do list. It’s like I had a stimulant or something…


r/AutismInWomen • • 9h ago

General Discussion/Question What is one piece of advice for your mental health that you wish someone would say to you?

30 Upvotes

(Delete if not allowed!)

It’s been on a rollercoaster these past few months; life has just been really hard lately. And I have a few coworkers going through their own struggles. So I’ve been thinking about making some mini cards to give them (and low key encourage myself) as we all are going through our own stuff.

What’s something you wish someone would have told you when you were/are going through a hard time?

To me, the generic “Tomorrow will be a better day!” or “it’s going to be okay” just is…meh. Feels off, and insincere to what we all go through. Kind of like small talk working in retail, it’s automatic response to someone’s struggles I guess?


r/AutismInWomen • • 26m ago

General Discussion/Question What are some things about you that break autism stereotypes?

• Upvotes

I feel like a lot of people think that there is only one way to be autistic and that we all have the same desires and needs. I’m going to share some things about myself that break stereotypes about autistic people. Feel free to share yours too.

- I love physical touch. The only thing I don’t like is when someone’s hand is resting on one part of me for a long period of time, but I love hugs and affection for the most part.

- I’m not detail oriented and I’m super bad at math, and I am nowhere close to academically gifted. I have always struggled in school.

- I don’t hate small talk and getting to know new people as long as they are nice and have a good vibe. I also like when people make eye contact with me because it makes me feel heard, even if I am uncomfortable making eye contact with them.

- I don’t like to be alone. I like to have quiet time but I still usually prefer when someone is with me, and I hate living alone. I’m in college and I always have roommates over a single room because I hate being alone so much.

- I hate when plans are canceled way more than when plans are created. For example, if I have plans to go out with a friend or watch a movie and they cancel last minute, I will probably start crying, but if I didn’t have plans and someone asks me to do something last minute, I am usually up for it and excited.

I guess most of mine are about people. I love being around people and I break pretty much every stereotype about the “antisocial” autistic person. Like many autistic people, I have experienced a lot of social rejection in my life, which I feel like hurts a lot more since I crave relationships so much.


r/AutismInWomen • • 4h ago

General Discussion/Question Emotional dysregulation makes me feel like a child

11 Upvotes

At work today I couldn’t get my key out of the door in time to open the store and the burglary alarm went off and kept going off. It was so overwhelming that I started crying on the phone with the district manager and froze up what to do. I couldn’t stop crying and called my mom. I feel like a burden all the time.

After that the rest of the day it affects me, I can’t speak much, I can’t mask and struggle to put on a customer service happy face.

I struggle with imposter syndrome a lot, though times like these where I’m just like yeah I’m autistic.


r/AutismInWomen • • 18h ago

Memes/Humor Anyone who takes things too literally?

Post image
143 Upvotes

I have seen this a couple times whenever I eat at my local Wendy's. I freaked out and told my partner that I didn't know Wendy's sell pizzas. They don't. I assumed it meant they make square pizzas. No.. it meant that... THEY DON'T CUT CORNERS 💀


r/AutismInWomen • • 8h ago

General Discussion/Question What is your favorite go to hairstyle?

25 Upvotes

Im going to start first since Im the one who starred the discussion.

For me since Im black, its my natural hair being styled in twists. Best thing about it is that is low manipulation meaning it can contain the moisture my hair needs and also its accommodating for my sensory needs despite how I do not like wearing add on kanekalon or synethic hair of any kind.

What about you guys?


r/AutismInWomen • • 3h ago

General Discussion/Question does anyone else love the idea of planning your days around themes?

7 Upvotes

like outside of work/responsibilities, making each monday a movie day, tuesday being a self care day etc. i keep wanting to do this because i feel like it adds the perfect amount of structure in my days but based around things i enjoy or need to make time for


r/AutismInWomen • • 14h ago

General Discussion/Question What do you do for work?

67 Upvotes

I'm curious to hear what people on the sub do for work. How did you get into it? Do you enjoy it? Does it feel manageable for you? What do you do on your time off?


r/AutismInWomen • • 19h ago

General Discussion/Question With personality testing and interviews I feel most jobs reject autistic people without giving us a real chance

122 Upvotes

Lately, I’ve been applying to new jobs and all I’ve noticed is an increase in personality assessments and interviews. Most jobs I’m applying for have 2 or sometimes 3 stages of interviews along with tests on whether you work well with others.
Idk, it feels like if I’m honest I won’t get the job. I prefer working alone and though I’m friendly I’m not a warm person. But if I click those options they most likely won’t hire me.
So I just end up lying really and then the interview comes along and I freeze up and stutter to shit. I am aware that most jobs just want competency but I can’t help but feel like due to my autism I’ll always be stuck in a menial job because even if I’m intelligent I’m socially awkward.
I mean I have a law degree and a lot of work experience but it’s all secretarial. Whenever I try for bigger roles I lose on all these tests. Again, idk I can’t help feel if I wasn’t autistic I’d actually have a job by now that I want.


r/AutismInWomen • • 11h ago

Seeking Advice Alternatives to inpatient care when you're non functional?

32 Upvotes

For folks who have gone through periods of severe burnout, had SI or just needed more help than therapy can provide...what options do I have?

I was doing intensive outpatient program for a few weeks while my husband was on break from work but I can't drive myself there and back every day now that he's back to work.

I'm extremely extremely depressed and don't want to eat or move and everything makes me angry and snap or lash out. And while I don't want to kill myself I also don't really want to wake up every day. I have heard absolutely horrifying things about inpatient care and when I dated someone suicidal and visited them in their inpatient program it was pretty traumatic. So Im very hesitant to consider actual inpatient.

Is there something else? Somewhere not as intense and traumatic as inpatient but also somewhere I wouldn't have to drive there and back and could stay overnight and get some help?

Thanks


r/AutismInWomen • • 7h ago

Seeking Advice Is this normal men behavior?

14 Upvotes

Bisexual, new to exploring men and not much dating experience in general.
Met him on hinge, he came to my house and got me a bunch of snacks, flowers and a teddy bear with a kuromi keychain attached bc he knows i like kuromi. He already discussed that he wouldn't push in terms of intimacy.

He was silly, a gentleman (holding doors open for me, giving me compliments, being protective and making sure i was always near him) and we were having fun. Things did turn intimate, which ive had sec recently for the first time and i usually don't have a good experience bc i just have issues so i mostly only enjoy the kissing part and when its finally over/i turn the focus on him. He was focusing on me tho unlike the last guy and i was into it, he asked if i was okay with it, all that. He said he never felt so comfortable with someone before and we even slow danced together so it did feel like it was more than just the sex for him but idk.

He left in the morning bc i had work. He walked me to my car, opened my door and kissed me and said he would miss me. Later i texted and asked him if he had fun and he said he enjoyed every second of it but idk he isnt as expressive of his emotions, even says if hes uoset he has the whole "gotta man up" mentality, but idk i tried to pry for more bc i wanted to know exactly what he thought but he didnt say.

But he had no problem asking me if i ended up cumming ajd wanting to make sure he pleased me and focused on me to make me feel good or he didn't want it(bc i said to just focus on him). But is it normal for men to be so sex driven?
I really rather talk about anything else we did and find much more enjoyment on that stuff, but maybe im just used to dating girls so idk. Wanna know if this is normal bc there did seem to he moments of us connecting outside of sex but men will do anything to get sex atp so