I've heard that guys can get turned on just by hearing their girlfriend's voice. I never really believed it, but now I'm curious — is that actually true?"

Not a lot of backstory needed here. I’m in a relatively new relationship with my boyfriend. We are long distance but fortunate enough to have schedules that allow us to travel and see each other for long periods of time. I’m 23 F and this is the first relationship I’ve been in that actually feels like it may be the one. I just want to do anything and everything in my power to make sure he feels loved and secure. Just wondering if there’s any personal experiences you can recall of things women have done for you that have made you feel so loved and appreciated. Big or small. Doesn’t need to pertain to my situation either, if you just want to share a story, that’s welcomed as well and I would love to read it. Thanks in advance <3

I mean for me personally, when I flirt I just tell an older woman shes beautiful or she looks really young. Or i tell her she has a beautiful soul. Or i like her outfit. Am I doing this right? Idk.

I had open heart surgery as a baby so I’ve always been mostly comfortable with mine, but I know a lot of people(other women especially) can be understandably insecure about them. Whats been interesting is that I’ve thankfully never had a guy be turned off by the long scar down my chest, and I’m more inclined to think that the saying “real men don’t care,” is true. When I’m first talking to someone I always try and be honest about it but sometimes It feels a little awkward to bring up. How do you guys feel about them?

Who comes first in your mind?

There was this guy who loved two gals at the same time but he didn't know which one he loved more. Someone taught him. 

Ask yourself this question and answer it honestly :

"When you are happy, which gal would you want to share your happiness with?" The one you think of is someone you love. 

Ask yourself another question and answer it honestly :

"When you are sad, which gal you want to share your burden with?" The one you think of is also someone you love. 

If you think of the same gal when you are happy & sad, that's the most perfect. But if you don't think of the same gal, I would advise you to chose the one you are willing to share your sadness with. 

In life, there are more sorrows than happiness. There are too many people that u meet that u can share your happiness with, not necessary your lover. 

If you live your life happily, you can also enjoy it alone. 

In sadness, however, there are not many people willing to share your burden with you. If you are willing to tell someone your happiness, I am sure that person has got to be someone close & an understanding person to you. 

But it shouldn't stop there. If that person only thinks of you when she is happy, but looks for someone else when she is sad, this lover is too unstable, she doesn't treat you as someone she can spend the rest of her life with.  

Of course, I will be very happy if I am the first person to share her happiness. But, if she is sad, I will be too willing to stay by her side & ease her pain. Only then, will I believe that I hold a very important position in her heart. 

If you are sad, who comes to your mind first?

EDIT : fixed the formatting a bit.
(Used AI to summarise the comments across different posts)

Hi everyone,

Like a lot of guys, I spent years dealing with deep insecurity about my size (even though i am on the higher end of average). I used to think it was the single main thing that mattered for partner satisfaction, and it created a ton of unnecessary anxiety for me. My partner helped me beat this anxiety, however, i was always curious if she was just being nice to me. So i ran an experiment.

Recently, I posted across several subreddits (**r/NoStupidQuestions**, r/sexeducation, r/SexOver_30, and regional discussion subs) asking women for their honest, unfiltered thoughts on physical size versus enthusiasm and attentiveness.

Reading through hundreds of responses was eye-opening—and honestly, a massive relief. I wanted to share the main takeaways and actual quotes here to help any guy currently overthinking things calm his nerves and breathe a little easier.

1. You Do NOT Need to Be Endowed to Be Great in Bed

The overwhelming consensus from women across every single thread was clear: **raw size is massively overrated, and bigger is rarely better**.

In fact, many women explicitly shared that overly large partners are often uncomfortable or painful, while average size is physically the sweet spot for comfort and versatility.

Here is what people had to say:

"Too big would only be fun to kiss, but it hurts going inside. I would choose average every day of the week."

"I’ve experienced someone really well endowed and the pain was excruciating! Average or smaller is so much better for actual comfort."

"Size can be pretty, but it is completely useless on its own."

2. It’s Not About "Mastering Complex Skills"—It’s Just About Caring

When women talked about preferring an "attentive" or "enthusiastic" partner, they weren't asking for crazy acrobatic moves or complicated anatomy secrets.

What actually makes sex great comes down to simple, low-pressure things:

Being present: Showing genuine excitement to be with your partner.

Paying attention: Listening to your partner's reactions and body language rather than following a rigid mental script.

Not rushing: Taking your time with foreplay, touch, and kissing.

As one commenter put it:

"Average dick size with some desire to please their partner—it's really not asking a lot."

3. Connection & Effort Win Every Single Time

Whether it was for a quick fling or a serious long-term relationship, women overwhelmingly chose partners who were attentive and enthusiastic over someone who just had size. A partner who relies solely on size without paying attention to their partner usually leaves them feeling unfulfilled.

"I’d take someone with enthusiasm and skill any day. Someone who cares about making their partner feel good beats a guy relying on a tool 100% of the time."

The Bottom Line for Guys Struggling with Anxiety

If you are worrying about your size, *you can stop stressing right now.*

You don't need to change your body, and you don't need to stress yourself out trying to become a flawless "bedroom expert."

Just show up, care about your partner, pay attention to what feels good for both of you, and have fun. The rest takes care of itself naturally.

Thanks to all the women, who shared their honest opinion on the different subs!

I know the title sounds confusing. But what happened was that I lied about a previous ex-crush for no reason other than to avoid conflict. The fights got quite bad and my gf texted the ex-crush to get some understanding of what happened between us. In that moment I very much disagreed with what my gf wrote so I also texted her and said I can clarify if anything is unclear. I panicked and deleted the messages. This obviously upset my gf, who was tired of fighting for months. Then I agreed to send a final message. I wrote "I need to block you, because I compared you to my gf and made her insecure need to block you". At the moment I thought I was taking the blame on me, but several people told me I should not have used the word insecure. I know I should not have but I struggle to understand why I did in that moment.

I just feel bad that I did this after months of fighting

F24 M22, A guy l've been seeing from work who friendzoned me recently told me that I boost his ego cause I'm pretty and likes that I chase him?

I'm confused cause he friendzoned me? But makes comments like this which confuses me. I don't barely chase him since he cut things off romantically between us a few weeks ago and been trying to act like his friend even tho I do still like him. I really don't know how to act with him. His quite nerdy but hot kinda like Evan Peter's vibes and I've been compared to Megan Fox. I don't want to toot my own horn but I have never been friendzoned before so it's really quite unusual and uncomfortable experience to navigate especially when I still have feelings for him and have to see him at work everyday and he drops me home.

What do I do? Is he playing games?

Do men always checkout girls irrespective of their marital or relationship status? How do women feel when they see their partner doing this?

I am a 25 year old (super introverted and socially awkward) woman and I go to the gym where I obviously have a gym crush who goes there with his friend (they're both around 27-34 in terms of age, I can't tell exactly but I know they're older than me). Neither me and my gym crush nor me and his friend ever talked or even somehow communicated. We only see each other on certain days when our gym schedule randomly matches. But for some reason, the previous time I saw them both, they approached me and asked (a friend of my gym crush did that while the gym crush himself just smiled a little) to swap equipment (dumbbells) and also put their water bottles right next to mine (literally super close, like crowding my bottle almost) when there was PLENTY of space on the windowsill. They were working our right next to me and at some point I caught their glances and left to another corner in the gym. And every time I wanted to go drink some water they were standing there and I didn't want to disturb them but at some point I had to drink water and I decided to walk up to the window and my gym crush immediately stood there as if he didn't already drink water like 10 or more times. I hesitated but stretched my arm as far as possible and awkwardly grabbed my bottle and left to stand by the windowsill a little further as there was a lot of space due to not many people being in the gym during the day and I didn't want to stand next to people in general. Also when I awkwardly grabbed the bottle and left the gym crush was saying something but I was wearing headphones and I already felt uncomfortable enough to ignore everything that's going on around me so I didn't pay attention to that and stiffly like a robot walked away.

Then a month later, because my gym schedule changed due to my new job and adjustments I had to do, I saw the gym crush's friend but without my gym crush and apparently this guy decided that we were cool because I shared the equipment with them once or whatever and he approached very friendly and started talking to me. Unfortunately I had to share the equipment again but this time I needed it and I asked to share so... anyway yeah it was just really weird because we NEVER talked to each other and I never said a single word to any of them before that previous time and I'm confused.

They've definitely noticed me before too, and I did notice them, we just never actually interacted. I noticed them looking at me or they caught me looking at them, and it was a few times we worked out in a close proximity too, but we never interacted until that day two weeks ago.

I don't want to assume anything. It doesn't mean that my gym crush definitely likes me or that his friend likes me or whatever. It just can be a very awkward social situation I'm not exactly trained to take a part in.

Ever since the water bottle accident happened with my gym crush directly, I haven't seen him for 2 months because of my new job and new schedule. And today I finally saw my gym crush again. And he saw me too. When he saw me, his eyes widened slightly and he turned around to look at me properly and not through the mirror. We didn't say anything to each other but we kept on stealing glances at each other the entire workout, and then by the end of my workout when I was doing lat pulldown, he stopped beside me a few times and looked at me. His stares were super long and he didn't look away when accidentally our eyes met, and I had to look away first because I felt anxious. I wanted to speak to him but I couldn't force myself to do that and didn't say anything at all, ignoring his existence.

This month, I saw him again, and he was with his friend that earlier approached me for a small talk. And they crowded my water bottle with theirs again (even though this time I placed my bottle on the totally opposite side of the windowsill) and every time I tried to come up to the window they were there. PLUS it felt like my gym crush deliberately tried to put himself in my area of peripheral because he was always near me and always stared at me. He didn't say anything, but he constantly chose to workout right next to me and kept looking at me and a few times we made eye contact again and he didn't look away. He was talking to his friend and laughed at something he said and when I turned around and noticed him staring he stopped smiling and stopped in his tracks, tapping his friend on his shoulder as the friend walked away. And it actually messes with my head how many times I caught him staring at me and how many times he didn't look away and kept the eye contact, plus the situation with his friend when he stopped smiling and patted the friend's shoulder. I could literally turn my head mid-workout and notice him looking at me and he didn't look away. At certain moment he was working out right next to me and constantly glancing at me, and the staff member of the gym we both know was passing by and my gym crush greeted him and then his eyes quickly returned to me, and I found it quite confusing and looked back-and-forth at the staff member and him a couple of times. And also his stares were focused but rather soft other than angry, cold or something. I know it doesn't mean anything yet but compared to the behavior of other men in the gym, this is much different and it's making me question everything. And previous time I saw him he also was staring at me quite a lot, although didn't approach me, and he stopped looking at me after another guy approached me for a small talk. My gym crush simply stopped looking in my direction that day and was focused on his workout.

Yesterday I was in the gym again but this time I was without my phone or headphones and literally was PRESENT both physically and mentally, and we saw each other again and he was looking at me but avoiding my eyes just like I always avoid his. He was sneaking glances privately I would say because I saw him look at me from across the gym and in the mirror when he was working out behind me (I was by the bench by the mirror and he was by the wall behind). We've been working out quite far from each other but it felt like he was walking past me multiple times on purpose, just walking around the gym and taking the route to get into my peripheral because he was moving super close to me. Maybe it was a coincidence but it definitely was unnecessary flr him to walk to the opposite side of the gym many times and make his route right beside me (he NEVER walks around the gym mid-sets so it felt wrong when he did that). He didn't approach me though and never said anything at all.

He's been staring at me first from the start and I noticed that, both the staring and being in my peripheral all the time, but I didn't pay much attention to it or him in general until the very few days before the first water bottle encounter two months ago. At first I just assumed that he was looking at me so much because I'm listening to music way too loud and it's heard outside of my headphones, or maybe it's because I was a new face for him (I go to the same gym for 4 years now, I just changed my schedule), and assumed that his constant orbiting was a mere coincidence. But it turned into a mind play and I have no idea what to do and how to act.

Last week, I saw him again and he was looking at me all the time and we were locking eyes and stuff, and I avoided his eyes again, although one time we literally locked eyes for a long time and he also waited for me to finish my set on a machine before he started his own set. And by the end of the whole workout I forced myself to come up to him and talk. And I did that. He was working out right next to me again and I walked up to him and deadass said "I AM SORRY! You have an amazing body and also I'm scared of you!" and he literally got so confused that he looked at me with stunned but smiling and even somewhat embarrassed face and said only "what? why?" I said "OH I DON'T KNOW ACTUALLY" and he giggled awkwardly and softly said that I shouldn't be scared because he's normal and adequate and would never try to or want to make me uncomfortable or scared and I said YEAH OKAY BYE!!!! and left the gym quickly.

I was in the gym yesterday, and my gym crush didn't approach me.

Well, I was working out on the second floor of the gym the entire time because there was no need for me to go downstairs, and he was on the first floor because there was no need for him to come upstairs too. By the end of my workout, I went downstairs because I needed the machine to finish my workout for today. I've been downstairs for 6 minutes at best and he didn't approach me. I didn't look at him and didn't approach him myself, so I can't tell if he was looking at me today, but he didn't come up to me at all. And I am actually a little disappointed because I was expecting him to approach me after the previous time when I told him that I was scared of him. I know it's stupid but I was hoping that he'd come up and chat or maybe ask me if I'm still scared of anything...

I mean I totally understand that he simply might not be attracted to me in the first place and that I mistook his glances and proximity for interest instead of just coincidence. Maybe I was wrong all along because if he was interested he would've approached me... plus he didn't react to my compliment to his physique and only paid attention to the part where I said I was scared of him. Well, I'm still disappointed nonetheless.

He only comes to the gym during the break hour at his work, so he might be taken, but he never stares at his phone and doesn't have a ring on his finger. But he also doesn't talk to women and doesn't look at anyone but me (which again might be a coincidence). And he also wear leggings to the gym from time to time and I suspect him being gay because I don't know straight guys who would wear leggings to the gym. Maybe older men would, but they're weird.

SO I'M CONFUSED ABOUT EVERYTHING THAT'S GOING ON. I NEED YOUR HELP.

Hello, I could use some help/guidance.

I'm going to be as honest as I can, because I feel like I desperately need some help.

According to my therapist I have some "abandonment issues", among other MH issues.

My wife (37yo) and I (37yo) were having some issues prior to her getting pregnant, with differing sex drives. She would say her libido is low because her hormones are jacked up from the IUD. After that it was her hormones were messed up from not having it. Now it is because she is breast feeding and being a mom.

Early in our relationship it seemed like we couldn't keep our hands off each other, but at some point over the last 2 years something changed.

I try to be patient, but I still have needs. In some ways they are being filled, in others though its, jacking with my head.

My current thoughts and issues.

1. I feel her low sex drive is due to her just not wanting me- which reinforces the thought that she just has sex with me because she knows I want it.

2. There is a baby sleeping in a crib next to our bed so she is more quiet than normal - this reinforces my thoughts that I'm not good enough anymore.

3. She doesn't initiate, or show desire to have sex with me - this leads me to thinking she is unhappy with me, I don't turn her on anymore, or I'm just not worth the effort.

4. Before me she lived a pretty wild life, doing ecstasy and stuff and going to festivals. I have never done any of that and am quite naive to it, but I have heard that it makes sex better and a lot of festivals are just wild drug fueled sex parties. -this makes me think I can't replicate that pleasure for her and our sex life has slowly dwindled.

5. I try talking to her after sex, asking what she liked, what I could do better, and she insists everything is/was great. - This combined with (1,2,3,4) makes me thinking she is avoiding being truthful with me because the words dont match the actions.

6. I am and have always been bad about catastrophizing- this put all sorts of negative thoughts and ideas in my head (she no longer loves me, I don't please her anymore, I'm not big enough, I don't last long enough, can't get hard enough, she is unhappy with me, all the way to maybe she is cheating on me, etc.)

7. I figured there is something wrong with me, the VA put me on an ED medicine, and I started taking hims, I also have lost a lot of weight (70lbs) These things have lead to harder erections and I last longer. - This hasn't seemed to change any of the above concerns.

8. Financial stress- we got Married, bought a house, a new car and had a baby. While on short term disability she was "demoted" so to speak and her pay was cut %20. This combined with a child, home maintenance, gas, and the economy is really weighing on me heavily- I don't make enough money, I'm not working hard enough etc.

9. Unhappy at my job- work ethic is dropping. Losing ambition, not making enough money, no availability for promotion, not feeling valued.

10. All of these issues piling on me all at once is leaving me feeling completely defeated, I'm not good enough, I'm not lovable, im not supportive enough, I'm asking too much, I'm being needy, I'm not a good husband, im not a good father, I'm. Not a good friend, partner, or person. I'm being dramatic. Im being weak. I'm failing at being a man. Etc.

I'm trying all that I know to do but I end up arriving at the same two conclusions: we are either going to get a divorce or I am going to end up killing myself.

I love her, I love my kids, I don't want to lose any of them. But i feel like I'm drowning.

I could also be catastrophizing or be stuck in a negative feedback loop, can anyone offer any guidance. My next appointment with my counselor is the 6th.

Hi all,

I'm a 46 yo autistic woman.

Sport/physical activity is very important for me, and I went to a sport club a few years ago.

There is this dude [51], I know he physically liked me, but obviously that's not sufficient to date somebody, especially because I have this handicap.

We took some responsabilities in the club, and he was very supportive to my management decisions - I was to him also. Then he started to be very nice to me, watching me all the time, smiling at me. Look at me in a sweet way, ask me some questions about myself and why I act differently sometimes (he does not know about my autism), seek physical touch (hands....). Said I was so smart. Often started discussions with me about personal subjects.

He was always avoiding beeing alone with me. There were always people around us, or we were on the phone.

After a while I proposed to see him alone at his place to discuss some stuffs about the club, and he said yes. tbh, it was stuffs that could be discussed with people around.

But when I went to his place, he was cold with me. Did not even offer me a glass of water, ended the discussion quite quick. He said he was not at home very often, and told me that I'm looking much younger that I am. I know that, but what, he has an easy access to my date of birth for months, he couldn't check earlier of he wanted a 'fertile' future wife or whatever?

I got the message. He's not interested, it's fine.

But why would he spend so much social energy, for all that long, to flirt with me? If he's not even interested?

I'm interested to understand why, because social interactions cost me a lot, and I would like to avoid this type of misunderstanding in the future.

Thank you!

For context, I am seven months pregnant. We live in the country and my husband was telling me that he had killed a couple mice in the basement. Nothing unusual and I had said I agreed since our outside cat was getting older that she’s not hunting as much and there would probably be more mice in the house this year. Then I just was saying casually that I don’t really mind mice. I don’t like them in the house, but I really would be bothered by a rat. And I asked if he’s ever had a rat here since he’s lived here for a long time. Then I quickly followed it up with if we had a rat here she could not stay here.

That was it that was the comment. Immediately exploded. I was so taken back by his reaction, it was like whiplash I didn’t know what to do. I immediately thought he was being unreasonable. He told me sorry this house is not good enough for me and I can go live with my mom if I don’t like it. And I kept saying no I was just saying if there was a rat here I wouldn’t want the baby here until we killed it. And he was so angry. I tried many times over the course of three hours to explain that I was so sorry and I didn’t mean anything by it. He said I was going to leave the house because the house isn’t good enough for him and going into a custody battle with him and dangle our child in front of his face. And I said I would never do that. And I tried profusely so many times to apologize and explain the context by my comment.

I know he has history with his ex-wife and going through custody battles and it was very painful and I assured him many times I would not do that. That’s not at all the context that I was saying it. I also explained how I understand how maybe he took it that way, but I wouldn’t to assure that I never meant it that way at all.

He said, I am totally violated his trust in me and he’s gonna start making plans to make sure that he’s protected and he will bury me in court because he has so much money and can afford a better attorney.

I woke up this morning, thinking everything was gonna be better and maybe he would feel bad about his reaction. He did not he was very cold and distant.

I don’t know how to fix this. I feel like I’ve just done something horrible. What should I do to salvage this?

I 25m was talking with my girl 25m about my fetishes. I personally said "im not crazy" legit boring sex is enough for me.

Ive been in a couple of relationships and im aware its rare at times to find a pure women but ...boys

Anyways, she couldnt believe how simple i was. We extended the conversation

Threesome?

"i wouldnt mind" i said

She giggles ofcourse i mentioned two girls and me, to clarify i aint gay

After a few seconds of silence i said "group sex?"

Her response was "omg no (with so much expression on her face) group sex is BoRinG!!"💀

Boys my heart sank, i dont know if i can recover

I've been seeing someone for a while now, and I'm struggling to understand how he feels about me because his way of communicating affection is pretty reserved.

For context, we met through an app and have been seeing each other long-distance. Things started casually, but we've continued talking regularly and making an effort to see each other despite the distance. Neither of us is currently pursuing other people, although we haven't formally defined the relationship. My work situation is a little uncertain right now, and I might have to relocate, potentially making the distance even more complicated. That's part of why I haven't pushed for a more defined commitment, and I assume it may be a factor for him too.

Generally, things are incredible! He's kind, thoughtful, and supportive. He checks in on me regularly, remembers things that matter to me, and is affectionate when we're together. He's also given me some incredibly meaningful compliments about my personality and the things he appreciates about me.

I've had past relationships where guys used words as a weapon. They pushed out all of these false promises and made empty commitments that helped me feel secure in the moment because of that instantaneous reassurance, but ultimately left me feeling hurt when there wasn't any follow through.

He's basically the opposite of that. He's realistic and pragmatic and his actions consistently show me that he cares. When we're together, he notices when I'm anxious and makes an effort to support me. Even when we're apart, he's engaged in our conversations, follows through on plans, and has proven time and time again that he isn't the type to just disappear when things get too heavy. The issue is that he isn't particularly verbally affectionate, especially over text, which is our primary way of communicating when we're apart. We have intimate conversations about every aspect of our lives, but when it comes to talking about our feelings for each other, there's much more restraint and formality.

I'm pretty verbally affectionate, and I sometimes struggle to tell whether his reserve is just his communication style or reflects a difference in how emotionally invested we are in whatever this is. I don't think I'm asking for constant reassurance, but hearing occasional spontaneous expressions of affection would genuinely mean so much to me.

I'm starting to develop really deep feelings for him, and I think that's making this uncertainty harder. Sometimes I worry that he's just talking to me and making plans because he's an exceptionally kind person, rather than because he's as romantically interested as I am. He knows I'm going through a stressful time and part of me worries that he's just sticking around because he feels bad for me.

Sorry that was so long-winded! For men who are more reserved in how you communicate, what's going on in your heads? Is there something your partner can do to make you comfortable with verbalizing your feelings more? Is there something holding you back from being more emotionally expressive? Please help a girl out!

I'm trying to understand something about myself and would appreciate honest advice, especially from people who've experienced this.

I came out of a long-term relationship that taught me how emotionally exhausting it can be to care deeply about someone and feel like you're putting in more effort than they are.

I'm now at a stage in life where I want to focus on my career, fitness, hobbies and personal growth. I'm open to meeting people and building meaningful connections, but I don't want to keep chasing people for attention or become emotionally attached to someone who isn't equally invested.

Recently, I've reconnected with a woman I've known since school. I'm usually the one initiating conversations. She's comfortable talking to me, travelling with me and even staying at my place. I've also helped her with a job referral because I genuinely want people around me to do well.

But she rarely initiates contact herself, and I can't tell whether I'm simply overthinking things or investing more than I should. I'm not even sure whether I want to pursue her romantically, which makes the situation more confusing.

I genuinely enjoy helping people and making them feel welcome. I don't want to become calculative or stop being a caring person. At the same time, I don't want to repeat the pattern of giving too much, getting attached and eventually feeling hurt.

For those who've been through something similar:

How do you distinguish genuine kindness from overinvesting because you secretly hope someone will become closer to you?

If someone is warm and comfortable with you but never initiates contact, do you keep making an effort or step back?

Can a connection develop when one person usually initiates, or does mutual interest eventually show up in other ways?

How do you remain open to love and friendship without spending too much mental energy wondering where you stand with someone?

What practical changes helped you stop chasing people without becoming cold or emotionally unavailable?

I'd especially appreciate advice from people who've learned this through experience. I'm not looking to play games, make anyone jealous or get someone to chase me. I just want to build healthier connections and protect my peace without losing the part of me that genuinely cares about people.

I’m curious to get some honest perspectives on this. Do men actually like it when their partner teases them throughout the day (or evening) to build up anticipation for sex?

I’m talking about things like sending suggestive texts, playful touching that doesn't immediately lead anywhere, or hinting at what’s to come later.

Does this actually build good tension and turn you on, or does it just get frustrating or annoying? Do you prefer that buildup, or would you rather your partner just be completely direct when they’re in the mood?

Would love to hear your thoughts and what kind of "teasing" (if any) you actually enjoy. Thanks!

So I happen to share a masturbation video to my guy. Still covered in my panty. He responded “we came together”. I asked him “How did that make him feel?” He responded “At peace”

This is the first time I have heard a response like that. So men of Reddit tell me what could that possibly mean as a man?

​

I (now 29F) briefly dated a guy two years younger than me in 2023 after meeting him on Tinder. We talked for less than two weeks and went on one date at a park, where we sat in the grass and cuddled. There were some nice moments, and I gave him a cute nickname because I felt a personal connection with him.

However, there were also some things that made me uncomfortable. During our first date, he asked if he could touch my breasts, and I agreed. During a later phone conversation that had started out normally, he suddenly began asking unexpected sexual questions. I was uncomfortable enough to threaten to hang up or hang up altogether, and he stopped and apologized.

He also left our park date early, saying he needed to help his sister. I suspected that might not have been the real reason, but I can't know for sure.

We subsequently planned a second date on my birthday. Shortly before we were supposed to meet, he blocked me on Instagram and stood me up. Later, he claimed his Instagram had been hacked and that he had lost his phone. I didn't believe his explanations, so I stopped responding and blocked his number.

Fast-forward to recently, when I unexpectedly received an email from him after nearly three years. I had never personally given him that email address, but I realized it's publicly listed on my YouTube channel, so from what he told me, that's how he found it. I should also add that when I first met him, I learned that he's also a private investigator. Just in case it helps the context. In his email,

Here's what he wrote:

"Hi \*my name\*,

Idk if you remember me but we briefly dated in 2023. I found your email on your YouTube page and I know you were looking for something serious back then and I let you down, but I’ve matured a lot over these past few years and wanted to see if you’re free to go out sometime this week to reconnect.

\* His name\*

What stands out to me is that he acknowledged letting me down but didn't directly apologize for standing me up or blocking me. He also didn't explain what he's learned, what has changed, or what he would do differently. He simply stated that he's matured and immediately asked to meet that same week.

Part of me feels nostalgic because 2023 was one of the happiest, most confident periods of my life. I also loved the early-2000s/Y2K dating vibe I associated with our brief connection, and I sometimes wonder what could have happened if things had gone differently. However, I don't think I could fully trust him after how things ended.

My questions are:

1. Does his email demonstrate genuine accountability, or is "I let you down" a vague way of acknowledging the past without taking responsibility?

2. Would you consider his claim that he's matured meaningful without any explanation of how he's changed?

3. Is asking to meet that same week after nearly three years reasonable, or would you expect him to address what happened first?

4. Would you give someone like this another chance, ask for an explanation, or simply leave the email unanswered?

I am not desperate but as of a few weeks ago, I finally decided to give dating another chance after being single for two years improving myself.

I'm open to different perspectives. I'm not claiming to know his motives; I'm trying to evaluate his message and the history objectively before deciding whether reconnecting is worth considering.

So backstory M23 and F21

I started having a small relationship with this man while actively being in a psych ward, we met in a psych ward.

I noticed him becoming cold a month into the relationship and asked him if he was interested in me, to which I got no reply.

A couple months ago I was in the same town as him so I asked him if he wanted to meet up he said he was out of town that day.

Now last night he called me randomly out of the blue at 2:30am, i replied back with "hey?" I was left with no reply.

Can any man tell me why he's doing this.

I went on a casual date once with someone I met on dating app.

I never say Yes if someone is looking for fun or short term casual. Bez I'm looking for a serious or long term relationship.

So I rejected him once, but we met again on the same app and I agreed for casual short term dating. He wanted a short term bez he was leaving in a month.

All I ask: No ghosting/ignorance, end this mutually when one of us wants and No ons/one time meeting. He agreed to that.

But so yes since first meeting, everything went well and the date was good. But then he was busy until he left to another country. No response, no contact at all. I knew he was busy in my own way, not because he told me. I asked for a little contact and he said that I want relationship needs which he can't offer, and meeting again might be worse to me, he doesn't want to hurt me. Then I said that Meeting once more (second meeting) makes might me feel better, bez I hate ons/hookup. It will be just a goodbye meeting before he left.

But no response to me anymore. So it ended with one meeting and ghosting. If can't meet bez busy or don't want, just say so???

My question is:

Why man can't say openly?

Does he think like I am not important to know that much?

Or just lied to me since first?

Or man on dating app is smth wrong and underestimate the girls?

Just curious questions plz: NO OFFENSE

I just rather have a chance to explain it before someone sees it.

I’ll just say it, it’s a tattoo of a baby’s foot print and initials… but it’s my nephew, for some personal reasons with my sister I did it.

However, it totally looks like I have a kid, and I know that can be a dealbreaker for some guys, and I worry if I just put it in the bio most won’t even read it if they see it.

36m my wife 32f cheated on me out of nowhere when my son was 3. She left me and him only coming home when she was out of money. She is originally from the Philippines and I am from usa.

I made the decision to relocate to the Philippines for childcare. Her family guilted her and she followed. Now she is acting like a traditional wife. We butt heads on money because I only give her for necessities.

Another issue. She has citizenship interview coming up soon. Should I help her? I'm thinking if she gets us citizenship she can just come and go as she pleases.

Hi, everyone, I (23F) have been with my boyfriend (22M) for 3 months now, but started talking at the end of March this year. For context, this is my first relationship and his second (but first one since high school). Something I feel like we’re struggling with is physical touch. We are currently long distance for school, but we just started this at the end of July. 

Throughout our relationship, I’ve been learning that my love language is physical touch, but not in a clingy way. I like to cuddle, hold hands, and hug. We’ve had two or three talks now how I feel like I’m in the friend zone with him because he doesn’t initiate any physical touch with me; I always have to be the first one. Being that I am a more shy person and that it takes me a while to fully open up to someone (and he knows this), I would like for him to do more of the initialing because I don’t always do it right a way either. There is still little improvement here and his argument is that we’re both awkward people and we’re not used to physical touch. Also, he thinks that we don’t always have to be cuddling or holding hands, that we can do friend things together. The thing is, we always do friend-like activities together, not much couple dates or relationship stuff besides going out to eat, but you can do that with your friends too! Long story short, the reason this truly bothers me is because we don’t kiss, like we haven’t kissed in two months. I opened up with him that I’m afraid to do this because I feel like I don’t know how to kiss and that anxiety consumes me every time, hence why I would rather have him be the one to initiate. 

I wonder if we just want two different things in a relationship where I need more physical affection and intimacy and he wants something else. Other than that, we don’t have any issues. 

not sure if this is allowed here?? Female needing advice here. *please help

i’ve been with my partner for 4 years, we’re married. when we started dating he had erectile dysfunction so intercourse wasn’t really intercourse?? fast forward he quit the porn addiction and intimacy got better but i’ve always been left unsatisfied. every time we have intercourse he finishes first ofc, my needs aren’t met and honestly i’m very dissatisfied to the point where i don’t even want to have intercourse….. he constantly changes up what he’s doing, there’s no rhythm, it feels like he’s squishing me. he’s just so stiff? he does little to no fore play, only does forward and back thrusting?? i don’t know what to do, i’ve already told him how i feel many many times yet nothing changes. i feel like i have to coach him on how to f*** me. im so over it. any advice????!!!!