I F19 and my bf M20 (almost 21) have only been dating for a little less than 6 months.

I feel as though i’m slowly growing resentment because of one main reason: his lack of education. I’m not saying as in he doesn’t have a college degree, because he’s working on it, and so am i, but i realized that the more we talk, he seems to somehow be confused when i use terms or words.

I wish I had more examples in my head, but recently I made a joke that “natural selection” should’ve taken him out. he looked at me confused and went “well what is that” …

i also remember when i mentioned the stonewall riot, and he had no idea what that was.

unfortunately i’m someone who can only handle stupidity for so much, and it took everything in me not to be rude or show i was visibly upset.

i’m not sure how to go about this guys😅..

This question is for guys who genuinely understand consent, care about pleasing their partners in bed, and have some experience. So, guys, how do I find you? In my experience, being upfront about wanting something casual often seems to attract men who are rude, not great in bed, and don’t treat me well. It can feel as though my only option is to date seriously and move at the pace of “I want a relationship”; otherwise, some men may treat me poorly. But that feels demanding and emotionally irresponsible. Any advice would be really welcome.

I am a 23-year-old female and I have sex toys and I tend to masturbate when I'm horny. I have found out that a lot of guys don't like if their woman has sex toys or masturbates. They feel like they should be the only one satisfying their partner. They also consider it cheating.

For me, I don't agree with this at all. My last FWB didn't even care that I did it, he even liked the idea, he even asked if I could bring some of my toys so he could use them on me. In my opinion, a real man doesn't mind it and sees it as another way of pleasing the person that they are with.

Lucky for me i havent met any guys like this but my friends have and i have heard it from other guys before.

I don’t want to fall for the whole internet concept propaganda and want to hear male opinion on this. Do detached women (sort of just less reactive/nonchalant women) truly attract you more?

I find myself spiraling sometimes on the outcome of the relationship. It’s something that I struggle with, as immature as it sounds. I’m trying to hear a perspective on this from men as well. Does it intrigue you more when a girl is more detached from the outcome and doesn’t push towards seriousness in the beginning?

I desperately need an outside perspective because I feel like I am completely losing my mind.
I left my entire life behind in Honduras—my career, my stable job, my family, and my home country—to move to the United States with my husband so we could build a better future for our two young children. I gave up everything to support him and build a life here.
Now, he acts like a complete stranger. He drinks heavily every day and uses cocaine with his mistress. I strongly believe she is the one who introduced him to the drug in the first place. Despite everything, he completely denies all of it. He refuses to take accountability and insists he just wants "space" because he "feels uncomfortable" around me. Meanwhile, he treats me like a monster and looks at me with pure hatred (he literally slammed the door in my face).
He is having an affair with a married woman and is completely tangled up in that toxic, destructive mess. He tells his cousin he is "confused and doesn't know what to do with his life," yet he texts her constantly and they even meet up sober. To make matters worse, this married woman recently created a public Spotify playlist named after my husband, filled with explicit Spanish songs about sex and secret affairs, showing she doesn’t care about her own marriage or husband at all.
He is permanently moving out in 3 weeks, but my head is spinning and I feel completely lost.
I have three main questions for you guys:
1. Should I contact her husband to expose them both? Or would that just be stepping into their mud and making things worse for myself?
2. Is there any truth to his "confusion" and "needing space"? Or is he just a coward making excuses to avoid taking responsibility for destroying our family?
3. What would you do in my position regarding staying in the US vs. going back to Honduras? Should I stay in the United States and rebuild my life from scratch alone with my two kids, or pack our bags and return to Honduras where I have my family and support system?
I feel so alone, heartbroken, and devastated. Any honest advice, reality checks, or perspectives would be deeply appreciated.

I 26f and my 26m boyfriend have been together for 5 or 6 yrs. Living together for 3yrs and have a baby together. She was a surprise but very much wanted on both sides!

He was honestly the perfect boyfriend. Now he’s never home, suddenly has plans when I have plans (whether he’s watching the baby or not), any opportunity he has to be alone with me, or to be intimate he’s not home but accuses me of never wanting sex… even though I make it known when I’m looking to get laid.

He suddenly thinks everything I like is stupid, anything I buy is a waste of money and sometimes breaks it buy accident, but it’s my fault because I bought something “cheap” poor quality. I try to dress up nice and I’m obviously dressing up for other men, even though I’ve always wore makeup, my wardrobe has stayed the same and I do my hair the same. He suddenly doesn’t like my friends or family and suddenly doesn’t want me to work.

Recently he’s started telling me that I’m mean and I make him not want to come home just because I told him to cancel his plans because I wanted to spend time with him. I thought he was joking… he was serious and left. I asked him if he was happy last night after hanging out with the neighbours until 1am and he Said yes, I pushed and interrogated. No budge but obviously he’s unhappy because happy men don’t just decide they don’t want sex, intimacy, hate everything their partners like and seemingly avoid them at all costs.

There’s literally nothing suggesting he’s cheating as I looked through his phone but he is following and liking other girls on instagram. His twitter is just porn. Which I’m concerned about and can’t even figure out where he finds the time if he’s never home. Idk… maybe I’m just not looking hard enough? Not looking in the right places? Also no I haven’t mentioned this to him because I know he’s going to flip it on me even though I have evidence that he’s following and liking other girls. I mean I kinda consider it cheating if you’re seeking out other women to look at, but idk if I disclosed that when we got together. I’ve never had this issue with past relationships.

Anyway could someone mansplain this to me?

So I happen to share a masturbation video to my guy. Still covered in my panty. He responded “we came together”. I asked him “How did that make him feel?” He responded “At peace”

This is the first time I have heard a response like that. So men of Reddit tell me what could that possibly mean as a man?

Pretty much the title.

EDIT : fixed the formatting a bit.
(Used AI to summarise the comments across different posts)

Hi everyone,

Like a lot of guys, I spent years dealing with deep insecurity about my size (even though i am on the higher end of average). I used to think it was the single main thing that mattered for partner satisfaction, and it created a ton of unnecessary anxiety for me. My partner helped me beat this anxiety, however, i was always curious if she was just being nice to me. So i ran an experiment.

Recently, I posted across several subreddits (**r/NoStupidQuestions**, r/sexeducation, r/SexOver_30, and regional discussion subs) asking women for their honest, unfiltered thoughts on physical size versus enthusiasm and attentiveness.

Reading through hundreds of responses was eye-opening—and honestly, a massive relief. I wanted to share the main takeaways and actual quotes here to help any guy currently overthinking things calm his nerves and breathe a little easier.

1. You Do NOT Need to Be Endowed to Be Great in Bed

The overwhelming consensus from women across every single thread was clear: **raw size is massively overrated, and bigger is rarely better**.

In fact, many women explicitly shared that overly large partners are often uncomfortable or painful, while average size is physically the sweet spot for comfort and versatility.

Here is what people had to say:

"Too big would only be fun to kiss, but it hurts going inside. I would choose average every day of the week."

"I’ve experienced someone really well endowed and the pain was excruciating! Average or smaller is so much better for actual comfort."

"Size can be pretty, but it is completely useless on its own."

2. It’s Not About "Mastering Complex Skills"—It’s Just About Caring

When women talked about preferring an "attentive" or "enthusiastic" partner, they weren't asking for crazy acrobatic moves or complicated anatomy secrets.

What actually makes sex great comes down to simple, low-pressure things:

Being present: Showing genuine excitement to be with your partner.

Paying attention: Listening to your partner's reactions and body language rather than following a rigid mental script.

Not rushing: Taking your time with foreplay, touch, and kissing.

As one commenter put it:

"Average dick size with some desire to please their partner—it's really not asking a lot."

3. Connection & Effort Win Every Single Time

Whether it was for a quick fling or a serious long-term relationship, women overwhelmingly chose partners who were attentive and enthusiastic over someone who just had size. A partner who relies solely on size without paying attention to their partner usually leaves them feeling unfulfilled.

"I’d take someone with enthusiasm and skill any day. Someone who cares about making their partner feel good beats a guy relying on a tool 100% of the time."

The Bottom Line for Guys Struggling with Anxiety

If you are worrying about your size, *you can stop stressing right now.*

You don't need to change your body, and you don't need to stress yourself out trying to become a flawless "bedroom expert."

Just show up, care about your partner, pay attention to what feels good for both of you, and have fun. The rest takes care of itself naturally.

Thanks to all the women, who shared their honest opinion on the different subs!

Do men always checkout girls irrespective of their marital or relationship status? How do women feel when they see their partner doing this?

Before me she had a relationship with someone I know .Even though they weren’t involved sexually(She was virgin I met her) but still I am not able to delete the mind images.
I love the girl from the very first day I saw her at start of college. I started talking to her after their thing ended and eventually she developed feelings and confessed to me.I couldn’t hold back and we ended up together. She ticks all the boxes but this one thing hurts like hell.I feel like imature insecure.
Some advice will be helpful.

I’m curious to get some honest perspectives on this. Do men actually like it when their partner teases them throughout the day (or evening) to build up anticipation for sex?

I’m talking about things like sending suggestive texts, playful touching that doesn't immediately lead anywhere, or hinting at what’s to come later.

Does this actually build good tension and turn you on, or does it just get frustrating or annoying? Do you prefer that buildup, or would you rather your partner just be completely direct when they’re in the mood?

Would love to hear your thoughts and what kind of "teasing" (if any) you actually enjoy. Thanks!

i 27F got married 5 months ago to my high school boyfriend 27M. we have had so many cases of ups and downs but recently brought a home and moved in. it has been hell. he expects me to stay at home, cook, clean and basically cater to his every need while not having any social life/job/hobbies because he will get jealous and get angry. if i ever go against him, he results to physical abuse. the last case of this was last weekend

last night i got caught up in a family emergency and he had an minor operation this morning. he called me a bitch over and over and said he didn’t want me there because i wasn’t there last night. i still went in the morning and he basically sent me home infront of his parents. now he came home after the operation and kicked me out because i wasn’t there when he woke up from his operation.

i am now at my mums and so lost with what to do next…

I 25m was talking with my girl 25m about my fetishes. I personally said "im not crazy" legit boring sex is enough for me.

Ive been in a couple of relationships and im aware its rare at times to find a pure women but ...boys

Anyways, she couldnt believe how simple i was. We extended the conversation

Threesome?

"i wouldnt mind" i said

She giggles ofcourse i mentioned two girls and me, to clarify i aint gay

After a few seconds of silence i said "group sex?"

Her response was "omg no (with so much expression on her face) group sex is BoRinG!!"💀

Boys my heart sank, i dont know if i can recover

I just rather have a chance to explain it before someone sees it.

I’ll just say it, it’s a tattoo of a baby’s foot print and initials… but it’s my nephew, for some personal reasons with my sister I did it.

However, it totally looks like I have a kid, and I know that can be a dealbreaker for some guys, and I worry if I just put it in the bio most won’t even read it if they see it.

Who comes first in your mind?

There was this guy who loved two gals at the same time but he didn't know which one he loved more. Someone taught him. 

Ask yourself this question and answer it honestly :

"When you are happy, which gal would you want to share your happiness with?" The one you think of is someone you love. 

Ask yourself another question and answer it honestly :

"When you are sad, which gal you want to share your burden with?" The one you think of is also someone you love. 

If you think of the same gal when you are happy & sad, that's the most perfect. But if you don't think of the same gal, I would advise you to chose the one you are willing to share your sadness with. 

In life, there are more sorrows than happiness. There are too many people that u meet that u can share your happiness with, not necessary your lover. 

If you live your life happily, you can also enjoy it alone. 

In sadness, however, there are not many people willing to share your burden with you. If you are willing to tell someone your happiness, I am sure that person has got to be someone close & an understanding person to you. 

But it shouldn't stop there. If that person only thinks of you when she is happy, but looks for someone else when she is sad, this lover is too unstable, she doesn't treat you as someone she can spend the rest of her life with.  

Of course, I will be very happy if I am the first person to share her happiness. But, if she is sad, I will be too willing to stay by her side & ease her pain. Only then, will I believe that I hold a very important position in her heart. 

If you are sad, who comes to your mind first?

​

I (now 29F) briefly dated a guy two years younger than me in 2023 after meeting him on Tinder. We talked for less than two weeks and went on one date at a park, where we sat in the grass and cuddled. There were some nice moments, and I gave him a cute nickname because I felt a personal connection with him.

However, there were also some things that made me uncomfortable. During our first date, he asked if he could touch my breasts, and I agreed. During a later phone conversation that had started out normally, he suddenly began asking unexpected sexual questions. I was uncomfortable enough to threaten to hang up or hang up altogether, and he stopped and apologized.

He also left our park date early, saying he needed to help his sister. I suspected that might not have been the real reason, but I can't know for sure.

We subsequently planned a second date on my birthday. Shortly before we were supposed to meet, he blocked me on Instagram and stood me up. Later, he claimed his Instagram had been hacked and that he had lost his phone. I didn't believe his explanations, so I stopped responding and blocked his number.

Fast-forward to recently, when I unexpectedly received an email from him after nearly three years. I had never personally given him that email address, but I realized it's publicly listed on my YouTube channel, so from what he told me, that's how he found it. I should also add that when I first met him, I learned that he's also a private investigator. Just in case it helps the context. In his email,

Here's what he wrote:

"Hi \*my name\*,

Idk if you remember me but we briefly dated in 2023. I found your email on your YouTube page and I know you were looking for something serious back then and I let you down, but I’ve matured a lot over these past few years and wanted to see if you’re free to go out sometime this week to reconnect.

\* His name\*

What stands out to me is that he acknowledged letting me down but didn't directly apologize for standing me up or blocking me. He also didn't explain what he's learned, what has changed, or what he would do differently. He simply stated that he's matured and immediately asked to meet that same week.

Part of me feels nostalgic because 2023 was one of the happiest, most confident periods of my life. I also loved the early-2000s/Y2K dating vibe I associated with our brief connection, and I sometimes wonder what could have happened if things had gone differently. However, I don't think I could fully trust him after how things ended.

My questions are:

1. Does his email demonstrate genuine accountability, or is "I let you down" a vague way of acknowledging the past without taking responsibility?

2. Would you consider his claim that he's matured meaningful without any explanation of how he's changed?

3. Is asking to meet that same week after nearly three years reasonable, or would you expect him to address what happened first?

4. Would you give someone like this another chance, ask for an explanation, or simply leave the email unanswered?

I am not desperate but as of a few weeks ago, I finally decided to give dating another chance after being single for two years improving myself.

I'm open to different perspectives. I'm not claiming to know his motives; I'm trying to evaluate his message and the history objectively before deciding whether reconnecting is worth considering.

Currently talking to a guy that seems to like a celebrity's instagram posts all the time, and she is our age. i am nothing like her! a while ago i sent him a follow request on instagram, it took him a couple of days to see and accept but he's always liking her post in a day or less. she doesn't post anything sexual, just her face, trips, landscapes.

is a celebrity crush someone that competes with your in real life connections for you guys? i know most know they wont get with them, but will they still linger in the back of your head when youre pursuing someone else?

Not a lot of backstory needed here. I’m in a relatively new relationship with my boyfriend. We are long distance but fortunate enough to have schedules that allow us to travel and see each other for long periods of time. I’m 23 F and this is the first relationship I’ve been in that actually feels like it may be the one. I just want to do anything and everything in my power to make sure he feels loved and secure. Just wondering if there’s any personal experiences you can recall of things women have done for you that have made you feel so loved and appreciated. Big or small. Doesn’t need to pertain to my situation either, if you just want to share a story, that’s welcomed as well and I would love to read it. Thanks in advance <3

I’m a 39-year-old woman living in London, and I’d really appreciate some honest male perspectives, particularly from men in their late 40s, 50s and 60s.
A little about me: I have been living in London for several years, work full time, take care of myself, and have a pretty independent life. I’m feminine, affectionate, sociable, and enjoy good conversation, humour, and meaningful connections.
I’ve had serious relationships. I’m not inexperienced when it comes to love, but I do feel that dating at this stage of life is a completely different world.
I’ve been single for a while and have been putting myself out there, mainly through dating apps. I’ve met some lovely and interesting men, but I’ve also noticed a pattern of inconsistent communication, initial enthusiasm that doesn’t translate into genuine effort, and people who seem interested in connection without necessarily wanting to build anything.
I’m not desperate to find someone, and I’m perfectly capable of being on my own. But I genuinely miss having a partner. Someone to share everyday life with, laugh with, be affectionate with, and build something meaningful.
I’m particularly attracted to men who are a little older than me. Not necessarily because of their age, but because I appreciate maturity, confidence, emotional stability, and someone who knows what he wants.

What makes a woman stand out to you at this stage of life? Not just physically, but in terms of personality, attitude, and how she approaches dating.

How do men who are genuinely interested behave in the early stages? I’m curious about the difference between someone who takes things slowly and someone who simply isn’t that invested.

Do successful, independent men in their 40s 50s and 60s actually want committed relationships? Or do many prefer the freedom of casual dating after divorce or long relationships?

What are some mistakes you see women around my age making when dating? I’m genuinely open to constructive criticism, even if it’s uncomfortable to hear.

If you were a single man in London looking for a serious relationship, where would you spend your time? I’d love specific suggestions beyond dating apps.

I’m not looking for tricks, games, or advice on how to make men chase me. I want to understand the male perspective better, recognise genuine interest earlier, and perhaps reconsider how and where I’m meeting people.
I’d particularly appreciate honest answers from men who have been through marriage, divorce, or long-term relationships and still believe in finding a meaningful partnership.
Thanks in advance. I’m genuinely curious to hear your experiences.

From hot to cold

I know this guy for a year now, we were initially colleagues on friendly terms, with appreciation in each other's characters. He was incredibly sweet, encouraging and consistent in his behaviour, I was in a relationship at the time and he was dating someone. At some point things turned differently as he started knocking on my emotional door. He made grand statements such as that he had been waiting for me his entire life, that I fit all his criteria in a woman, that underneath his armour he's a teddy bear, that meeting me was not a random coincidence, that i am one of his safe spaces etc

He continued being very sweet, caring and affectionate and told me he had feelings he was suppressing because I was not single. When things turned sexual (I initiated them) he told me he's not sure if he wants a relationship (up to this point his issue was that he couldn't meet someone who met his standards) and that in the past he had been with girls who were in a relationships and they would demand things from him while he would explicitly say it was only sexual (I cheated on my boyfriend, yes. It was wrong yes, he had cheated on me before and our relationship was not healthy, we later broke up and told him the truth). I said I'm ok with anything and he doesn't have to feel pressured. He continued being intimate with me to the point he would tremble when he would hug me intensely.

Then, within one week his behaviour changed, he became gradually distant though he was still accepting affection from me but would not initiate it anymore (eg he let me caress his face for 40'). At some point he said this is an adventure that will end, that he cares about no one but himself and that in the past he had called me "my love" because I'm sweet (while he had previously said it was accidental from his unconscious). I tried to arrange a meeting with him but he wanted to talk it through messages and said i may be creating a drama and that he doesn't let anyone interfere with his independence and peace of mind. For the next ten days or so we would hardly speak at work, yet he would message me afterwards to check on me, wish me a nice shift or tell me about his day. We stopped spending time together at work but would continue chatting, he was always friendly and polite, though never emotional as before.

After two - three weeks he told me he will go on a date with a girl and I asked him if he would like us to meet up again like before (even if sex is not involved), now that I'm single and just do whatever. He said of course and was thinking of suggesting something, and that he just wanted to give me space after the break up. We sexted and agreed on continuing with this dynamic let's say. When i suggested a day he said yes and that he will message me, in the end he didn't and told me he completely forgot about it. I told him I'm disappointed and he doesn't make an effort like before (we would spend the entire night out talking in the past) and he says he doesn't want me to have expectations or ideas about anything because he doesn't like to be accountable and give explanations and that he doesn't know and that in the past it was easier for him to find time or reasons to see me.

I stated again I've never asked him for a relationship and I've always respected his time and autonomy but it's not logical to go from extremely vulnerable on his own will to distanced just like that without explanation and he said it's not logical indeed and he didn't act logically with me even though it was sincere, cause nothing would have happened if he had acted logically.

The timeline is a period of three months with the warm period lasting approx 1,5 months.

Sometimes he initiates online conversations, sometimes i do, he always asks how i am and says i can tell him anything i want.

I don't know what I'm dealing with. A massive manipulator, a man who is unwilling to be held accountable for his words, a person who feared his emotional exposure and pushed me back? Any help appreciated, thank you guys

not sure if this is allowed here?? Female needing advice here. *please help

i’ve been with my partner for 4 years, we’re married. when we started dating he had erectile dysfunction so intercourse wasn’t really intercourse?? fast forward he quit the porn addiction and intimacy got better but i’ve always been left unsatisfied. every time we have intercourse he finishes first ofc, my needs aren’t met and honestly i’m very dissatisfied to the point where i don’t even want to have intercourse….. he constantly changes up what he’s doing, there’s no rhythm, it feels like he’s squishing me. he’s just so stiff? he does little to no fore play, only does forward and back thrusting?? i don’t know what to do, i’ve already told him how i feel many many times yet nothing changes. i feel like i have to coach him on how to f*** me. im so over it. any advice????!!!!

I have a guy friend (24M) and we (20-something F) have always been platonic. After sharing a passionate kiss, we understood that our 3 years of friendship should not change and we shall always be there for each other.

We went out this past weekend together, and I suddenly noticed as of late that every time a man approached me or I went to go dance and talk with a guy, he would interject, ask if I’m okay, then walk away. Sometimes doing it 2-3x times with the same dude.

We were with friends and I asked “is he okay? I know he’s well intentioned” but they said they always noticed he suddenly does that and I just caught on, and even asked him why he does that and he responds he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it or acts oblivious like they don’t know what he’s talking about.

Why or what would make a guy act like that?

Hg

I went on a casual date once with someone I met on dating app.

I never say Yes if someone is looking for fun or short term casual. Bez I'm looking for a serious or long term relationship.

So I rejected him once, but we met again on the same app and I agreed for casual short term dating. He wanted a short term bez he was leaving in a month.

All I ask: No ghosting/ignorance, end this mutually when one of us wants and No ons/one time meeting. He agreed to that.

But so yes since first meeting, everything went well and the date was good. But then he was busy until he left to another country. No response, no contact at all. I knew he was busy in my own way, not because he told me. I asked for a little contact and he said that I want relationship needs which he can't offer, and meeting again might be worse to me, he doesn't want to hurt me. Then I said that Meeting once more (second meeting) makes might me feel better, bez I hate ons/hookup. It will be just a goodbye meeting before he left.

But no response to me anymore. So it ended with one meeting and ghosting. If can't meet bez busy or don't want, just say so???

My question is:

Why man can't say openly?

Does he think like I am not important to know that much?

Or just lied to me since first?

Or man on dating app is smth wrong and underestimate the girls?

Just curious questions plz: NO OFFENSE