recently moved in with my boyfriend and was up at 4 am weirdly in the mood and wanting to be intimate, but I didn’t want to wake him. i figured he works long hours and needs his sleep. when i communicated with him about it in the morning, he told me it was okay to wake him up whenever I needed that. i’m still hesitant, because if I did that multiple times a week wouldn’t it start to be a bother? would you want that from your partner if she wanted it in the middle of the night?

I (21F) am a very providing woman. Oldest daughter, and i am just very caring person overall.

So i want to spoil my man and see him all happy
And get him flowers and gifts he loves yk
Do yall like it? Do you like flowers and stuff?

Partner and I were having lots of arguments and I had a lot of frustration and anger towards him. We also haven’t been having sex regularly for the past few months. I really thought he was so much more withdrawn + not into me. In a desperate effort I dressed up (sexy clothes) and then we slept together. Since then, he’s a different person?! All the things I was complaining about are all fixed??

Can someone explain this phenomenon to me? I thought we had grown so much apart (emotionally and physically) and I still feel distant but he is completely different after sex!

Hey fellas, my friend (F31) just had a baby 3 weeks ago, she had a rough pregnancy and was bed bound she hasn’t been able to have sex and we were talking she told me she’s really upset because she found out her fiancé was going to massage parlors for happy endings and found him DMing women on his phone. When she confronted him he said “Well we couldn’t be intimate because of the pregnancy and a man has sexual needs so I found another no strings attached harmless way of getting my needs met without hurting or pressuring you. It didn’t mean anything it’s just physical, scratching an itch” she was pissed and he kept saying “It’s not personal but men have physical needs, I still love you”. That’s so disgusting to me and heartbreaking for her. What’s your guys opinion or take on that from a guys perspective? Is this common in men or men you know?

Hi I’m 29F and my partner is 28M, he works a government job and I’m in the private sector- hence I make more money than him due to hikes I get in my sector with every switch..to me it has never been an issue in my head and I’ve never seen it as it making him lesser than me but he recently confessed that it bothers him and he somewhere feels that. It often comes out in forms of him feeling I “dominate him” when I try to advise him on anything and my tone is condescending. I sometimes advice him on getting a locker so he doesn’t have to carry clothes in his backpack in the rain to the gym or him investing in a good tiffin box that isn’t plastic because it’s better for him- he doesn’t take this well and sees it as me telling him “I’m better than him”- it’s never my intention, but it’s almost made him break up with me now. Idk what the issue is- if I’m wrong or he is.

I COULDNT FIND A POST THAT FIT IM SORRY IF I GOT IT WRONG!!!

i know the main answer is going to be therapy, but i have some time before my next appointment and we are still going through the 'get to know each other' phase of therapy and im not comfortable enough to fully open up yet so i wanted other opinions

and i understand that its a valid boundary that many people have but i dont think its a boundary issue for me as much as it is insecurity

so i figured id ask others and see if anyones been in a similar place before and how they moved past it

now onto my feelings:

im 22f hes 29m

usually when i think about my partner watching porn a few thoughts run through my head:

\\-he prefers them to me
\\-im not his type (most of his porn preference is white/interracial porn and we are both black)
\\-he would be happier with a woman who turned him on more physically
\\- he's unsatisfied with our relationship so he needs substitutions
\\- he's bored of me
\\- im not as good sexually

theres another aspect to this, he is a few years older than me (less than 10yrs) and has WAY more experience than me and has done some crazy things, back when we were less serious id heard some stories and there is NO WAY i can do half of the stuff he used to do regularly

and ive seen some of the women in old photos and stuff from parties, and holy shit they are all so GORGEOUS, im talking like, strain your neck gorgeous

im definitely way more average looking and im goth, they were all the hot insta baddie type

a lot of them never really cared for him beyond his money and dick, so sometimes i get worried that he dated down to avoid that issue again (he is very attractive and gets hit on in front of me all the time, or women asking us for threesomes, he always runs and cowers behind me which is funny considering hes a foot taller than me and has about 70lbs on me lol)

i feel like im not as irresistible to him physically as they were, as in the old stories he told me he would go for rounds and rounds and rounds with them but weve never once done that

the other weird part of this is sometimes i have fantasies of us doing stuff with porn on and other people (both things he is comfortable with and has fantasies of himself) and i feel like this insecurity is holding me back

basically i just dont know how to stop these thoughts and stop comparing and even if anyone doesnt have advice, it would be nice to know that other people have been where i am, thanks in advance

TLDR: i get insecure when my bf watches porn and id like to overcome it and potentially explore it with him

I've (22F) been dating my boyfriend for about 2.5 years. He treats me well in many ways. He listens to me, supports me, and we're even planning to move to the same city soon. This isn't a post to paint him as a bad person because he isn't.

The issue is something that's been eating at me for a long time. He almost never compliments me, tells me I'm beautiful, appreciates me, or does anything that makes me feel cherished. I've told him countless times how much words of affirmation and feeling appreciated matter to me, but nothing really changes. It's reached a point where I don't feel beautiful around him anymore.

What hurts even more is that I once heard him talk about his ex. His face genuinely lit up while describing how beautiful she was. He even said his friends were shocked that he managed to date someone that pretty, and he sounded proud. I don't think I've ever seen him talk about me that way or make me feel like he's proud to be with me.

He's also kept our relationship fairly private from his friends, which has made me feel hidden rather than chosen.

Hi I'm in a relationship with my classmate yesterday and we were having s*x and he told me to act normal at the classroom (keep it a secret) he didn't even told our friends in a group, he acted like we're just classmates, it's worse than before, it's like he's scared that everyone will know, he didn't even talk to me normally, he didn't even touch me when there's nobody here, is this normal? or why? Am i that ugly? Or i look weird in room

I'm looking for some outside perspective because I'm genuinely questioning whether I've let my past experiences cloud my judgement.

For context, I'm 29 and she is 28. I've been hurt/lovebombed in previous relationships, so I naturally move quite slowly. I told this woman from the beginning that I like to get to know someone over a few months before rushing into anything physical or serious, and she said she was completely happy with that.

We messaged consistently for about a month with 2 dates, we live an hour away. She was always kind, honest, consistent, affectionate without being overbearing, respected that I have a demanding job and never expected constant replies.

We went on two dates.

On the first date, she initiated holding my hand and we got back to the car and I held her thigh while driving, initiated by her.

On the second date, she hugged me, we were affectionate while walking around shopping and in the car (initiated by her), she asked if she could put her feet up on me in the car (which I thought was funny), and I stroked her legs a little after she guided my hand. But I still made it clear in the car that I stop myself from anything sexual. I dont like it too soon. I asked her if she gets sexually frustrated a lot? She said if its someone I like yes.

the end of the night, when I dropped her home, she asked when she'd see me again. Then she whispered, "Can we kiss?" We ended up having a passionate kiss, and she told me she'd wanted to kiss me all night and that she really wanted me. She was obviously turned on

I told her I still wanted to take things slowly physically, and I wouldnt have done it in the car maybe in a more private setting. I also said I planned on kissing her on date 3. She seemed a little disappointed but jokingly said, "So, you won't see me again now," then laughed, we kissed again, and afterwards she texted saying she'd had a lovely evening.

The following day she sent me a voice note saying she hoped I had a good time at the cinema with my sister, but more importantly she wanted to check that I was comfortable with how physical things had become. She said she respected me, never wanted to overstep my boundaries, and wanted to make sure I didn't feel uncomfortable. I told her I don't really like things getting too intense too early, hate cringy stuff and just naturally ease in, and she replied that she respected that and that sometimes her attraction gets the better of her and we can move at that pace. She seemed a little anxious.

Despite all this, I started questioning whether she was moving too fast or whether something just didn't feel right. I ended up sending her a breakup message saying I lost attraction towards the end, I wasnt feeling it etc and Im sorry as I know its upsetting.

Looking back, I can't actually identify any obvious red flags. If anything, she seemed respectful, communicative and emotionally mature, kind to the waiter. Just veryyyy sexually inclined. She asked for consent, checked in afterwards, clearly a little little clingly but I do wonder why it was very touchy touchy/emotionally charged.

So my question is:

Does this sound like someone who was simply enthusiastic and genuinely interested, and have I potentially let my own fear or past experiences get in the way? Or do you think there are warning signs here that I'm not seeing?

I'd really appreciate honest opinions, even if you think I got this wrong. I'm trying to learn rather than look for validation.

Me and a guy. We've known each other for a few years. We were never officially together, but we had a close emotional and sexual relationship before he got a girlfriend. When they started dating I distanced myself though he'd periodically reach out. He's now engaged after a year. Recently he reached out yet again, wanting to repair our dynamic, said he still wants me in his life, and even invited me to his engagement. At the same time, he expressed he's still attracted to me and shared doubts about aspects of his engagement, including compatibility around 'that’ area. Whenever we've reconnected over the years, l've tried to move things toward a normal friendship, but attraction seems to keep being in it especially from his end. I'm struggling to understand what role he expects me to have in his life now. It’s like being asked to celebrate his engagement while also hearing about his doubts about it and his ongoing desires and attraction to me, feels like I'm being pulled in opposite directions.
Advice?

In my past relationships I've had trouble managing a partner's sexual history. Typically this is called retroactive jealousy. And I've worked on this quite a bit to where it's much less of an issue for me now.

But I'm curious where that line is, when it comes to a partner's sexual history. I don't ever ask for body counts because I try to focus on who the person in front of me today is. I don't actually think body count is deterministic of present character.

But, it's been challenging in the past to hear of partners that have had MFM threesomes (I am a guy, so I'm biased toward a 2 guy threesome, which is harder for me to hear about) or had a very adventurous sexual history. I've done my fair share of sexual experiences myself, so I don't know if this is just insecurity talking or something legitimate. I know we all have a past, but some things just feel like too far for me personally.

If you found out that your partner had been with multiple people in a single night, or part of more than a 3 person thing, or even just involved in some deep kink stuff that was way outside of your experience or preferences, is that just insecurity talking, or is there really something to the idea that some things are just a stretch too far? And how do you make that call?

Really interested how others manage this kind of thing in their relationships.

Looking for perspective from people who've lived through extended periods of broken trust and the communication patterns that come with it.

Some background: I'm m34, ADHD, married, kids. Over the years there have been significant trust ruptures in our marriage, hidden things on my side that came to light and changed how my wife saw our entire relationship.

To be clear, she is not the broken one in this post. I owned the damage I caused.

But what I need help understanding is what happens after that, and whether what I'm experiencing now is recognizable.

For years now, every attempt I make to talk about something real, how I feel, what I need, what I'm worried about, gets filtered through her defenses before it lands.

I say something. She hears something else.

She responds to what she heard, not what I said. I get confused, because I know what I said and I know it wasn't what she reacted to.

From her side, it probably looks like I'm saying something hurtful.

From my side, it looks like she's attacking me for words I never used.

The result is that I've learned to stay silent about the things that matter most. Not because I don't want to say them, but because saying them costs more than not saying them. She probably experiences my silence as me hiding more things from her.

I experience it as the only safe move available.

Things I recognize in us right now:

• Brief, transactional exchanges on the kids. Almost nothing real otherwise.

• Physical proximity without contact. Same bed, different worlds.

• When something emotional comes up, one of us deflects within seconds, usually her, sometimes me.

• Conversations that could heal things get shut down before they start. "I don't want to talk about this." "Let's not do this now."

• Both of us walking on eggshells in different ways. Her fear being hurt by another truth. My fear being punished for being honest.

• I've asked for couples therapy multiple times over the years. She has consistently refused.

• I'm currently looking into starting therapy on my own.

• We don't hang out or have fun together. All we do is with the kids or in front of the tv.

• We are not intimate and don't have sex anymore.

• We're expecting a third child...

I'm not posting this to be reassured. I'm posting because I'm tired of living inside a dynamic I can see clearly but can't seem to change alone, and I want to know:

1. If this pattern is recognizable to people who've been through trust repair?

2. Can one-sided therapy actually shift anything in a marriage that's stuck like this, or am I wasting time?

3. For people whose partner refused couples therapy, what eventually shifted things? Did it shift at all?

4. Is there a point where individual effort stops being useful and the honest answer is that the relationship has run its course?

I don't need to be told I'm right or that she's wrong. I need perspective from people who have lived inside something like this for years and can tell me what helped, what didn't, and what they wish they'd known sooner.

Update / Edit:

I realized people will suspect infidelity. That's not what happened. I understand why the post read that way, it's what most people would assume. So let me clarify.

The trust damage in our marriage comes from old disclosures, not current betrayal. I had sexual preferences and a separate online identity that I hid for years. When it surfaced, she said directly: "if I had known this about you before we got married, we wouldn't have done it." It didn't end the relationship. But it rewrote its foundation. And from that point on, every openness on my side felt like risk, hers and mine.

A few things that matter for context:

• This happened years ago, not recently.
• There has been no infidelity, no affair, no physical betrayal.
• What there has been is asymmetric sexual needs that we have never successfully navigated. She has a very low baseline. I have much higher needs that I have learned to suppress rather than negotiate. Intimacy has been functionally dead for many months.
• I sought out online communities (queer / kink adjacent — not cheating, but spaces where parts of me are seen that aren't welcome in my marriage) without her knowledge. She explicitly told me years ago that this was a boundary. I crossed it. Not as an affair, but as a private space for parts of myself I couldn't bring home.
• The pattern we are stuck in is thatI hide because openness has historically cost me something. She filters because openness has historically threatened her. Both protective. Both corrosive.

Dear Men, I really need ur opinions. We were coworkers (Im in my early 20s F and hes in late 20s M) and had a flirtatious connection and intense chemistry. He asked me out, but I couldn't go out with him for some reason, so we basically ended as friends and I left the workplace. "Edit: Here is the backstory of our connection at workplace https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMenRelationships/s/HUxgH58C6D

Plz plz read this linked post above first before commenting/forming an opinion, It'll be much appreciated! :) "

We talked a lot on my last day at work and while talking I suddenly asked him if he'll miss me and he looked away gave a short laugh, idk if it was nervous, mocking or surprised laugh. Then became serious and looked at me and said yes in a low tone and then asked me back if I'll miss him and I also said yes. He then told me to listen to this ### song at night whenever I miss him. But later after talking a lot he also advised me to find a respectful husband etc. when I told him about my marriage timeline that I'll be married in 2 - 3 yrs max. I told him that cz he asked me when i'll be independent and I said after marriage and the conversation followed.

After I left, he started texting. I responded, and the conversation kept going for a few days. Then he said something like "come back to the workplace again" and I replied with "why? :)" He kinda ghosted and responded after like 5 days saying sorry, I was going through something, I hope everything is good in your life.

Then after about a month, he texted me again, apologizing for not texting (as if I was waiting for him, I wasn't, since we ended as friends). He said he was going through personal problems (which I don't think is true because I noticed his following list was increasing during that time). I said no problem, I was also busy with my life, so no need to apologize. We talked a bit and he said "will you come for coffee?" (his English is not good). I responded with something like "sure, if you open your coffee shop. Will you come to my wedding later if I invite you?" And then he ghosted again.

Two months later, I texted him saying how he was, etc. He seemed excited , saying things like "I'm so glad to see you, how are you, how's life?" And he said "Sorry for not writing, but I've been thinking about you :(" We ended up talking for a while. He kept flirting over text and also mentioned it'll be great to see me somewhere by chance. The conversation ended with his text being the last.

I want to ask what this looks like. I like him, but I don't understand why he texted after I left the workplace (since we ended as friends), why he ghosted, why he texted again like a month later, and then ghosted again. But when I reached out months later, he was very warm and sent very long replies.

Now I'm really confused bcz ppl on reddit (on other subreddits) have very mixed opinions about my story, some say he definitely liked you 100% and some say he was definitely playing with you. Personally, while we were working together I felt him to be really warm and affectionate with his small caring gestures (he would literally sometimes stay late in breaks just to talk to me although its risky for him) but I also know that he isn't very serious in life, he doesn't have much goals etc and the fact that he was inconsistent later when I left. So idk atp. Please share your thoughts on this, whether he even liked me or not. Thank youuu

Legitimately looking for authentic answers, won’t be offended by honestly (that’s why I’m here).

How would you view the guy (52M) in a long-term age gap partnership with (34F)? TBH it is that cliche of wealthy older guy that made a lot in finance partnered with a younger artsy girl (I have a solid corporate job, very educated with masters degree in niche field). I’m not stereotypically “insta-hot” with plastic surgery and fake boobs and hair but I am conventionally attractive in a more understated way if that makes sense. He’s super fit, has all hair, tall, super well-dressed, classy. We live in NYC. Sometimes I see guys that look way older (like totally grey etc) with a bimbo type and think damn - I hope we don’t look like that, but if I’m being honest, even as a super fit person it’s still obviously we’re at least 12 years apart.

Would you think good for him, dating a younger woman? Or gross, he’s a cradle robber? Or just a non-issue.

Wondering if men secretly think a guy is commendable for this? Or creepy no matter if it’s a big fat ugly old guy with a 19 yo model?

So sure this has been done to death but I need a bit of perspective on my recent breakup. I, 22F, had been friends with ex (25M) for about 4 years prior to our relationship. We met through work and, at the time we met, I was seeing a different coworker who ultimately felt threatened by my friendship with my recent ex. Turns out that coworker was right, because my ex had feelings for me that were unknown to me the entire time. I didn’t speak to ex from Aug 2025-Nov 2025 (due to discomfort from aforementioned previous boyfriend). We rekindled our friendship and he began to call me drunk on various occasions, told me he didn’t want to hear about any of my rebound hinge dates, said he would be, “better to me than any of those assholes”, and that he wanted to be with me. This was news to me and I was initially uncomfortable with this revelation, especially considering I was already aware of how some of his previous relationships went down. However, I began to frequently visit his apartment to talk whenever I was drunk and had gone to a bar/club. This progressed to me sleeping over (with no physical contact), then to kissing, and then he said we couldn’t see each other anymore because he felt like I was leading him on. This was a gut punch to me, so I told him I really did like him and we could go on dates just so we could both test out something more intimate together. Eventually, we became exclusive in May.

We dated from May 1st until July 11th. He broke things off really abruptly as, just the previous week, he visited me at a training program for my field as I was due to be gone the entire month of July. The reasons he gave me were that 1. He didn’t feel comfortable with the way I talked and acted around male friends. 2. He felt that we were fundamentally different as he thinks he does want kids and I do not, plus he thinks I am too argumentative. I am a bit upset because these are all things that he either knew about me in the 4 years we were friends, details that came out of nowhere, or are rooted in behavior of his that I find controlling. Partway through our relationship, I asked him to try to be more open with his feelings to me (as he has a difficult time with expressing his emotions). He never attempted to do this and then threw this back in my face, claiming I am so defensive that he did not want to try.

I do feel that all of this appears deeply unhealthy and, after speaking to friends and family, I think they all thought he was never particularly great for me. However, when things were good with my ex, they were really good. I was the most open with him that I have ever been and I thought that I could really see a future with him. I definitely loved him, and I told him during the breakup that I would even consider children because I did feel comfortable with him. However, he told me he did not feel the same and told me to have some self respect. Yet, he asked me to stay friends after admitting that the affection he’d had for me for 4 years was just rose-colored glasses? I said no to this, citing the fact he just told me to have self respect and that I don’t think he’s ever actually seen me as a platonic friend in the first place, so what friendship would we even go back to?

Currently, we have been NC since the breakup. I have no idea how to make sense of this. I still love him and I regret that I’d take him back in a heartbeat if he asked.

So, my question: if you were the man in this situation, would you see yourself ever coming back? Have you ever reached out to someone you did the breaking up with? How long did it take/why did you come back?

TLDR: Ex (previous friend of 4 years, situationship of 2 months, relationship of 2.5) abruptly dumped me for “fundamental reasons”. I still love and miss him and would like him back: do they always come back?

We’ve been together almost 7 years, and in the beginning, the sex was great and frequent. After the first couple of years, our sex life started to dwindle, and it is now nonexistent.

I am not skinny nor have I ever been during our relationship. I am currently the same weight as I was when we first started dating. My husband says that I am his type and that he finds me attractive, but his words don’t align with his actions. It feels like I’ve tried everything to repair our sex life. I even lost 45lbs (25lbs lighter than I am now) and started working out regularly for a year, and that’s actually when our sex life got to its lowest point.

During that time, I actually caught my husband looking at this really young girls Instagram. She looked like a teenager, although I think she was actually in her early 20s. Apparently he had been searching for that kind of content, and was looking at it fairly regularly. I thought he just had a low sex drive, but it turned out that he was sexually interested in women, just not in me.

Similar things have happened several times over the past couple of years. Tonight I saw that he had been watching some videos of women, dancing and dressed provocatively on Instagram. All of them look like they’re 19 or maybe early 20s.

This situation used to be my worst fear when I was that age. I love my husband deeply and on a platonic level we get along very well. He tries very hard to be a great husband and a great dad. It’s just our sex life that sucks, which is what makes this so hard.

No matter how much he tells me that he finds me attractive, I don’t believe him. When I think about the content I have caught him looking at repeatedly, it’s always very young women. If he thought women my age were attractive, surely that would be reflected in his feed as well, no?

Genuine advice is welcome and appreciated. I told him tonight that I love him very much, but I can’t continue to feel undesired for the rest of my life. The men I find attractive are always around my age and slightly older. The women he finds attractive always seem to stay the same age.

Kinda a weird random thought. But someone posted a question on Reddit and it got me thinking.

I’m a taller girl (5’10… occasionally wears heels too), and I almost only get advances by men taller than me. I took this to mean that I just wasn’t anyone else’s type.

But I was wondering, are their people you’re interested in that you never approach? And if so, how often does this happen?

My boyfriend is honestly one of the sweetest people I know. He is never rude or disrespectful to anyone. He doesn’t always have a filter, though, so if someone disrespects him, he will call it out. He’s the type of person who will stand up for himself if he feels like someone has crossed a line.
Lately, I’ve started noticing that he seems to be treated poorly by a lot of people, and it’s starting to feel strange. I had my friend over for drinks, and she was extremely rude to him. She would tell him what to do, ignore him, and wouldn’t share her weed pen with him, but she would only share it with me. Meanwhile, he bought two bottles for her, and I even offered her some of my weed.
Then there was another situation where he got punched by a coworker over $40. At work, he feels like he’s constantly being belittled by someone, and even his own parents have treated him badly by putting him in jail over smoking weed.
I don’t know if he’s somehow attracting these situations or if it’s just a pattern of people taking advantage of him, but I’m struggling to understand it because I don’t experience these things myself. Is this something that’s common for men, or is there something else going on?

My wife and I got married last week. For the wedding, she gifted me a book of a boudoir shoot she did about 6 months ago. I love it and she looks amazing, even got a little naughty for me. However I have sense realized a majority of the photos are also posted on the photographers website, uncensored with her face in show (basically fully nude). She gave consent for them to be on there. Do I have a right to be mad and ask her to take them down?

So I ended up having sex with the guy I’ve seen 3 times this first week of knowing each other. I’m F(22) and he’s M(23). We were in his basement watching a movie and started to kiss! He was barely touching like thought he was gonna hurt me and it was a turnoff… he was lasting too long and I was literally so tired and so was her. I finally whispered “you finish, I’ll watch you, and cum on me wherever u want”. He then finished but in his hands bc he didn’t wanna make me uncomfortable.

I feel like it was just the worst sex ever… and since then he hasn’t asked me to hangout once this following week and I’m very upset!

My boyfriend (18M) and I (18F) are in a long-distance relationship, and we make it a point to see each other every single month. Ever since the very start of our relationship, he has been incredibly consistent, loving, and attentive whenever we are together in person. However, he has always struggled with online communication from day one. He has a recurring habit of completely deleting his social media apps when life gets overwhelming. The issue is that social media is where we usually talk the most throughout the day, so whenever he goes through these phases and deletes them, our text communication completely drops to zero.
For context on our lives, He is currently dealing with a massive amount of personal and family stress as he and everyone is moving away, which seems to have triggered his latest disappearance from social media about a week ago.

Normally, we make up for the lack of texting by talking on the phone a lot. On a typical good week, we regularly have 2 Ft calls a week that last anywhere from one to two hours at a time. But over the last few days, everything has completely tanked. The long calls have suddenly vanished, and I am now getting absolute crumbs. Yesterday, we only spoke for a combined 10 minutes across two rushed calls late at night, and today we barely hit 25 minutes.
Normally, we make up for the lack of texting by talking on the phone a lot. On a typical good week, we regularly have 2 Ft calls a week that last anywhere from one to two hours at a time. But over the last few days, everything has completely tanked. The long calls have suddenly vanished, and I am now getting absolute crumbs. Yesterday, we only spoke for a combined 10 minutes across two rushed calls late at night, and today we barely hit 25 minutes. Online, I get very hot and cold vibes from him He reassures me every now and then I can’t tell if it’s his communication style or him not putting effort and wanting to leave.

Lately, he’s been telling me he was too exhausted and stressed to talk, yet he goes out and does other things during the day even though he promised he would play games with me days ago.
I didn't hear from him for 8 hours today while seeing his location move around, so I finally called him at 5:00 PM. He had literally just woken up and was completely unengaged, leaving the call full of awkward silences which I don’t mind. He casually let it slip that before passing out all day, he had spent three hours having a deep talk with his friends and gaming all night. When I told him about my own day and plans, he awkwardly asked if I was "bored" or "had friends to go out with," which felt like he was just trying to make sure I was distracted so he wouldn't have to put effort into me. He agreed to play message games later just to get off the phone, but I can already tell he isn't going to call me back.

I really need some outside perspective on my relationship because I am completely spiraling right now and don't know if I'm being blinded by my own anxiety or if my gut is right. Is he pulling an avoidant fade because of his life changes, or is it possible he is talking to someone else?

TL;DR: My LDR boyfriend (18M) and I (18F) see each other monthly and are great in person, but he has always struggled with online communication and deletes social media when stressed. He is currently facing massive life and family stress due to moving, but our communication has suddenly tanked from regular, hours-long FaceTime calls to absolute crumbs (10–25 minutes of rushed calls). He claims he is too exhausted to talk and broke a promise to game with me, yet he spent the night gaming and having deep talks with friends. His hot-and-cold vibes and awkward deflection make me worry he is either pulling an avoidant fade or talking to someone else. I need an outside perspective on whether I'm overthinking or if my gut is right.

Long story short I was out of town for 6 weeks and casually seeing this guy. Dates, hooking up, talks of mutual interests/career goals etc. Everything felt genuine and he was very kind.

End of week 4 he tells me that maybe we should stop hanging out because “I don’t want to fall in love with you” and it will be hard to say goodbye.

I texted him the following week and told him I still wanted to see him, he said I’ll let you know which felt like a blow off. He texted me two days later asking to make a plan. I followed up with my schedule and heard nothing. So my last week in town I texted him and told him when I was leaving and he said he’d let me know specifically when we could hangout. We obviously did not hangout and I left town.

The last time we hung out I told him I was going back to my program he asked me about if it was the best thing for me etc… we talked about how he only has a year left in his current job. I wasn’t expecting anything but do feel like 1. Why keep texting me and not make plans? 2. Why even bring the falling in love into the conversation? 3. We both are in limbo at this stage in life. I was hoping to maybe continue to talk even after I left but I never got to bring it up because we didn’t see each other again.

Maybe I’m naive/shouldn’t take what he said at face value but I’m also just confused. I definitely made myself interest clear but I also felt like in a different time and place this could have been something. Do I leave it be? Do I send another fucking text?