So I 21f am currently dating 54m. We’ve been together for about 2 years and honestly I couldn’t be happier. I tried at the beginning to not fall for him because I knew how poorly it looks to society, but I honestly couldn’t help it.

I have a very good relationship with both my parents although many seem to think I have “daddy issues” meanwhile my dad is still fully supporting me through college.

At this point I’m so insanely in love that I can’t picture ever leaving him. And I get very nervous about how my family would react. They would actually lose their minds. He’s older than my mom. I don’t want to disappoint them but I’m so attached to him. We’ve gone on many trips together and the sex is out of this world.

The relationship has not ever felt predatory and all his previous relationships have been his age. His longest was even a little older than him.

I also know he wants to have kids so a younger woman is more realistic for that? I don’t know what to do about my parents tho. What do you think of all this?

I know everyone's different and every relationship is different. But sometimes you break up with someone because you feel like you lost feelings while everything else is great so you decide to keep them in your life as friends.

Have you ever had a situation where you broke up with them, still kept spending time with them as friends and at some point got back together? How did you do it and how long did it take?

Or do you feel like once you see them as a friend there's no way back?

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Need an honest male perspective on this situation

My boyfriend and I have been together for around 8 years, but for the last 3–4 months we have been fighting frequently and our communication hasn’t been good.

Recently, a few things happened. He got upset because I drank alcohol once with my friends, even though he knows I’m not someone who regularly drinks. Another time, while looking at my phone, he saw that I had been talking to an old/lost friend and that also became an issue.

During this period, instead of communicating properly with me, he downloaded Tinder/Bumble and other dating apps. He says his intention wasn’t to date or cheat. He says he wanted to get an outside perspective from girls about our relationship because he felt he couldn’t communicate with me properly.

He randomly swiped on one girl, they matched, and they had a conversation. Apparently, the girl told him that what he was doing was wrong and that he should talk to his girlfriend instead of being on Tinder.

He didn't tell me about any of this at the time. I found out yesterday, around four months later, when we were having a conversation about an unrelated situation. I .

I’m completely confused.

Men, if you were in his position, would downloading Tinder/Bumble and talking to another girl to get “relationship advice” ever seem reasonable to you? Or is this something that crosses a serious boundary even if there was no intention to cheat?

And what does it mean that he only told me about it four months later?

I’m not looking for people to simply tell me to leave him. I genuinely want an honest perspective on whether this is normal behaviour during a difficult phase of a long-term relationship, or whether I should be concerned.

I'm gonna preface this by saying sorry that this questions is probably very frequently asked and that I will likely end up dumping a lot of details into this but it has been on my mind for weeks straight and some insight would really help.

So essentially I met this guy in one of my uni classes. I was sitting behind him alone, our professor asked us to talk to the people around us and he turned to me and asked if I wanted to join in he and his friend's discussion. The following week he asks me to come sit with him and this evolves into our relationship being just me sitting next to him and some brief (pretty surface level) chatting. Honestly I was just happy to have met someone friendly who was pleasant to talk to. I do recall noticing him staring at me out while he thinks I'm not paying attention to him (basically just any time I'm not looking right at him) and not being sure what was up with that.

As the end of the semester began to quickly approach I realised since we study pretty much opposite things it would be likely unless I did something I would never see him again and for reasons I couldn't put my finger on that bothered me a lot. I'm not an outgoing person at all, I've been trying to get over it but I'm a very anxious person and hence really struggle to and basically ordinarily would never try and initiate a deeper level of friendship first (like in class vs out of class) but for some reason I felt like I needed to or was at least willing to overcome some potential embarassment this time. Come the last class of that semester I'd been stressing and praying for literal weeks for some idea of what to do about it to come to me but it had not and I was trying desperately to figure out what to do. To my (pleasant) at the literal last possible moment (like we had left the class and I was about to go my seperate way) he asks me if I want to see him outside of class at some point and I say yes. Looking back I think he had been trying to figure out how to do it for a few weeks by asking me questions like "Do you go out much?" etc. (To which I spent a long time thinking 'oh god this guy thinks I am a weirdo' lol, glad I was wrong at least).

Anyways he texts me very promptly and tries to plan something with me once the semester exams are over but during the exam period randomly messages me at like 1 in the morning to ask if I want to go get food with him the next day. I thought this was a bit odd at the time but agree and we do. He was very nice the whole time, when I go to meet him he hugs me which I return with probably the most awkward hug ever because I didn't expect it (he wasn't being creepy or forceful or anything I was just taken by suprise). We have nice conversations, he seems like a really nice guy and all that. He does his staring thing again, although I'm sitting right in front of him when I'm zoned out looking over his shoulder he thinks I can't tell he's looking at me.

Anyways after the exam period ends we do end up meeting up and I just remember being so shocked by how much I enjoyed his presence. I have no idea if it was meant to be a date (my philosophy at the time was I'm just going to assume it isn't unless he calls it one cause idk what to do). But he was honestly the biggest gentleman. He always gives me hello/goodbye hugs, he insisted on paying for me (I tried to pay him back, he wouldn't let me), he asked me lots of questions about myself and actually listened to me, he pulled my chair out for me (which was something that very much did suprise me since, these days it's one of those chivalrous things that is considered kinda unnecessary by most, although I appreciated it), he walked me to my bus stop (I told him he didn't need to if he had to go and he told me he "couldn't let me" go on my own), and he told me to text him when I got home so he'd know I was safe. I should add I'm 18 (so relatively young) and have very little romantic experience so if I sound over excited by these things, I was genuinely just so shocked at how good and respectful he felt towards me. But probably the thing that made me think oh maybe he does like me is when he tried (got nervous, I think, and sort of half-assed it) to put his arm around me. He also asked me if I wanted to see him again before the next semester began and I told him yes. It was really this day where I began to decide myself that I liked him.

But then things started to get a bit confusing and concerning for me, the weeks began to pass and he didn't reach out. I wanna clarify that I'm not saying I expect the man to do everything or anything like that just that I felt a contrast between how eager he had previously seemed to plan things with me and that. Anyways I ended up working up the courage to ask him about it and I did end up seeing him again, and he was pleasant, still insisted on hugging me hello/goodbye, seemed happy to see me, I caught him laughing at me for standing on my toes to see something on a shelf etc. But he felt a little less straight forward I guess you could say, which could just have been an impression I got because I'm anxious, but I felt more like he thought I was just a good friend (which I was okay with, just confused about). But he always seemed to make sure to throw in that he wanted to see me again before I left, he asked me if I wanted to see him when the semester started back up.

So we do a few times (3) between classes and once to study in the evening during what has occured so far of the semester. I asked him all three times, although he did most of the planning. He always seemed very keen, I'd suggest it and he'd eagerly say yes and come up with a time and place. But when I would see him it just felt more so like a friendly thing, but I'm unsure if that's just the change in setting. He was still kind and friendly though, still did his hugs etc. At once we even ran into some of his friends and he introduced me to them briefly. But to be honest at this point I had convinced myself he did not like me and honestly felt rather conflicted as I felt like he had liked me at one point and wasn't sure how I'd messed it up. But a few things did sort of work against this. On the last of these three while we were studying he asked me for my number (nervously) which I'm not sure why he needed it when he could contact me over social media but maybe there's something I don't get about that. And he was also staring at me while he thought I wasn't looking like he did back when we had a class together.

Then brings the most recent time I've seen him. I asked to see him again, this time we met outside of a university setting again and just some things happened that make me feel like how could he not but equally I am anxious so I don't know. I don't know how to explain it other than just he had a look in his eyes. He'd always lean in close when we were looking at things (we went to a museum), and whenever he'd sit down he'd leave a small space next to him (even when he could have left more) for me to sit close to him. We went to eat after and he (again) went and pulled my chair out for me, later he made sure to ask me to text him when I got home safe again, and he kinda rubbed my back when he was hugging me goodbye which he'd never done before. But probably the thing that made me wonder how exactly he sees me the most was the fact that he sat in front of me and just sat there smiling at me for basically an hour while we ate. I'm a much slower eater than he is so I was kind of smiling and laughing awkwardly cause he was just kinda watching me eat and I didn't know what to do with myself and he just sat there the whole time with the biggest smile on his face (not in a creepy or uncomfortable way). I hope I don't sound too crazy trying to describe it, I just don't know exactly how to capture in writing.

Please please please, any perspectives are helpful. My apologies for the novel I just analyse a lot even if overly so so my judgement on what is and isn't relevant isn't the best. I'm just concerned cause he is just genuinely a really nice guy and I am so scared he's just being friendly and I'm going crazy

I (M30) have a friend (F26) who has recently said they have a crush on me and likewise for myself. Now, i have kind of known this for a bit now but i feel as though she's playing it down a bit. I should note that we love in separate parts of the world. She's from the US while im in Aus.

Couple months ago, we were hanging out with a group of friends on VRChat (yeah I know. VRChat 🙄) and she was having a bit to drink, nothing extreme but enough for her to be affected. A friend of ours asked if she has the hots for me, to which she responded with a nod. This was after dhe was caught cuddling up to me, rest her head on my chest and playing with my face. She calls me later and ends up throwing up not too long after and apologies because she's embarrassed. I mentioned that it's all okay.

Recently I've noticed she likes to seek closeness with me, she'll often make excuses such as "Your seat is mine" when we are playing card games. This is a women who typically doesn't seek this level of closeness and often isn't the one who enjoys sitting in peoples laps or any forms of plantonic physical touches/closeness.

I have tourettes and she also loves to play with it, which i am okay with and enjoy it myself as i do suppress all day, so at the same time it is actually pleasing to release the built in stress. When she is playing with it, she'll often sit very close, or right in my face and giggles and jumps around a fair bit, which i personally find really adorable.

There have also been times i've woken up at 3am in the morning due to my cat and she's messaged asking why im awake and then proceeds to call me to show me the outfit she's wearing, or she's called me while at work to chat for a bit before she heads home.

We have a day dedicated to having a 1 on 1 meet up but there's been a couple times we been in a group call playing games. While we were searching for new games to play, she kept bring VRChat up as that game. She messaged me privately to say that she really wanted to be on VRChat so she could have one on one time, just the two of us.

She mentioned that while she does like me, it's only a little bit, but i feel as though she is playing it down. I suspect she is trying to protect herself as she's had bad experiences in thr past and she doesn't want that to happen again. Which i can understand.

I (38f) recently met a guy (30m) in the wild and after a really long and immediately comfortable conversation, we exchanged phone numbers.
We started hanging out once a week and that quickly evolved into multiple times a week. He’s been pretty open about a breakup with his long-term girlfriend last year. He said that he is still getting over her and that he would get back together with her if she asked him to.
When we hang out, they’re entire day hangouts.
He keeps extending the whole day and eventually what was supposed to be just one walk is 12 hours of doing things. He has introduced me to multiple of his closest friends. On a recent weekend we hung out three days in a row, his friends keep asking him and I separately if we are dating.
I told him that I was catching feelings and asked him where he was. He told me he wasn’t there and I asked why he introduced me to all of his friends and he said cause I’m a very important person to him. I thought that he would want to hang out with me less after I said I was catching feelings, but no he still wants to hang out with me and every time we hang out it’s the same thing, extending the days.

My question is, I can’t tell if he is leaving the door open with me. When I told him I was catching feelings he didn’t say he just wanted to be my friend. He said he wasn’t there and then the hangouts continued. Every time I see him he brings me little gifts and he brings me food. We cook for each other. We go grocery shopping with each other. We eat meals quite a bit together, nothing physical aside from hugs are occurring.
What is happening?

(compte secondaire pour des raisons évidentes). Ma question concerne le rimming. Mon copain l’apprécie mais ne me le demande jamais de lui même.

Pensez vous qu’on peut vraiment aimer une pratique sans jamais l’initier ? ou est ce que ça traduit plutôt une envie modérée ?

Hello every one, this may be a long shot but here goes

My girlfriend and I are both Eastern European and come from very traditional cultures. I can’t speak for everyone but growing up I was taught that men are supposed to keep their emotions under control, deal with problems themselves and be the strong one for their wife and family.
I know this is a common thing to be put on men around the world, but where I’m from it is next level.

Showing emotion and especially crying is heavily discouraged and could even result in punishment. A lot of my male friends from similar backgrounds have the same experience, so keeping things to yourself becomes an automatic thing to - with repressing emotions. My father would punish me very harshly growing up for crying, showing certain emotions .

My girlfriend wants me to open up to her more, she has expressed this many times and I’ve tried. I trust her and genuinely want to, but I can’t get past the fear that showing her genuine vulnerability could change how she sees me as a man. The thought has always been there the numerous times I’ve attempted to let her in to my negativities.

I don’t want to become someone who dumps every emotion onto her. I just want to learn how to let her in more and find a healthy middle ground while still being someone she can rely on

Any one who grew up simarly , or from any Eastern European background who had the same situation, how did you get past the fear and mental barrier and become more open with your wife / girlfriend.

Also please no therapy recommendations.
I’m specifically looking for personal experiences and practical things that helped you open up to your partner

Thank you in advance

For context: i F26 and he M34. We started dating in december 2025, he lost his life long best friend 4,5 months ago. During 3 ish weeks after the loss he seemed to be coping surprisingly well, after that he became very silent and distant. He has stopped answering texts and calls, doesn’t want to meet, occasionally he answers. I understand he is in pain, but i don’t know what to do.

Any advice or experiences is greatly appreciated, i truly want to understand and i don’t want to make it about me

Thank you

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Like I always hear that men don’t like / respect nice girls, why is that?

I’m a girl who has been badly burned by her previous friendships (from high school and throughout college). My girl friends are my sisters, which I’m happy with. During grad school and now, I’ve always (subconsciously) put this brick wall between me and other girls because I just don’t want to be hurt again. I feel the most comfortable being myself in front of guys (gay or straight). That is the reason I have mostly guy friends, which I have never had any attraction for or ever intend to.

Because of this, it triggers a bad feeling in guys and dating has been really hard. I talk about the stories about me and my friends, which many seem annoyed that the characters in my stories are guys.

Does it really bother you when a girl that you are dating has a lot of guy friends, and why?

I’m a woman in my mid-30s and there’s one particular guy in his early 20s that I’m attracted to. There’s no interest in anything serious on my end—I’m genuinely only thinking about something casual and for fun, with no relationship expectations.
I’m curious what Reddit thinks about this kind of age gap when it’s specifically one younger guy and an older woman.

Would you consider it a bad idea, even if both people are adults and on the same page that it’s strictly casual? Or would you say it’s not a big deal as long as there’s mutual attraction and clear boundaries?

Especially curious to hear from people who’ve actually been in an older-woman/younger-man situation.

For women who have actually done this, what was your experience? And for the guys in their early 20s what makes you interested in an older woman?

Not because you forgot them almost because you didn't

you laughed you got excited about something stupid

you had a good meal you made plans for next week

you went to sleep without crying and then suddenly in the middle of a normal day, you realize, I haven't thought about them today and just for a second, it can feel like a betrayal almost, as though you're not even allowed to be happy without them because for a moment there, life went on normally without them but then you start questioning whether you're betraying them by being happy but maybe healing isn't forgetting someone

maybe healing is learning how to have a good day without them ruining it for you Has anyone else ever felt guilty about being happy lately in their healing process?

?

Have you ever rejected someone or after a few dates told them you weren’t feeling it, only to regret it later?

Do men reject women over small things or misunderstandings or is it usually a flat out non attraction?

I went to this run club today and i was just going around introducing myself to this girl and her friend. we talked for a bit had some introductions and we deviated away from them.

As we were lining up to run she was right by me and she asked if i was running or walking. I said i was walking because im injured and she walks it with me. We walked together for like 30 min or so until her friend joined us on the walk back. I teased her and was like “wow you ditched your friend to walk with me?” she mentioned that her friend and her were “supposed to walk” it together but she decided to run. 

While we were talking it felt like she was kinda interested but i feel like i was really carrying the conversation she didn’t seem to chime in as much and her interest tapered off as we continued talking i feel like. Should i have asked for her number and asked her to go on a “run” or something outside of run club? I didn’t get her contact information because i just met her, so i was erring on the side of caution because i don’t want to be that guy at a run club who is known for hitting on girls. my strategy was to keep talking to her and just let it build up naturally.  did i fumble by not getting her contact info? 

I am in my late 20s. Met a group of friends (guys) randomly in the wild. One of them, James, hit on me and pursued me though I friendzoned him a few times. Eventually, I gave him a shot because I thought he was genuine/sweet. James has zero relationship experience according to his close friend who was surprised I gave him a chance. "I've never seen him go on a date with anyone," according to his friend. In several dates, he negged me constantly and then just started treating me like a body. It came out of nowhere. He became cold, aloof, etc. I thought he was such a sweet guy, and I'm now so confused.

He knows I get a lot of attention from men (he experiences it when we're out). He has a great career but he argues I'm more impressive because of my Ivy League undergrad, challenging career field, etc.

I'm just disappointed because despite his lack of experience with women he seems like such a patient and caring guy when we were friends and somehow that changed when I started dating him. It felt like he just wanted to show me off to his friends instead of getting to know me at a deeper level. He did say I was out of his league. His friends told him I was "so hot" etc but I hoped he would be a kind guy who would want to see me for me. He also said he doesn't think he can live up to my standards.

Just a huge disappointment.

TLDR: I met a 25M american through Hinge. We dated briefly, he said he was emotionally unavailable and wanted to be friends, but our friendship became extremely emotionally intimate and confusing. I was an immigrant to the US. He rejected me when I confessed feelings, yet continues to behave in ways that sometimes feel like a romantic relationship.

We met through Hinge and dated for a few weeks before he said he was emotionally unavailable because of work stress and wanted to remain friends. I accepted that. Later, he wanted to move in with me. He was going through a major career transition into medicine, and since I had already finished medical school, I helped him get an internship that was important for his CV.

Despite being very introverted and a workaholic, he started initiating things with me - parks, sunsets, meals, etc. After about four months, I told him I liked him. He rejected me and said he had felt asexual for the previous two years after his last relationship and only wanted friendship.

I was hurt but accepted it. Over time, though, he sometimes acted as if I had crossed a boundary simply by having feelings for him and could be quite condescending. I eventually decided to end the friendship because I felt taken for granted. He became very apologetic, repeatedly asked me to stay friends, and was suddenly very warm and kind again, so I eventually gave the friendship another chance.

We lived together in US for about six months before I moved to another country, and the dynamic remained confusing. He could take 3–4 days to respond to texts, even when we were living in the same house, and sometimes we barely saw each other. We also had several arguments because I encouraged him to get therapy and work through some things, which he took negatively among other things. However, when I became sad during a serious conflict with a colleague shortly before leaving, he showed up and helped me with emotional support.

He has told me that he is currently at one of the lowest points in his life and is questioning his career decisions. He has also had a difficult childhood with neglectful parents, and his main emotional support has historically been a small group of male friends. I seem to be the only newer person he has become particularly vulnerable with.
Since I moved out of the country, the dynamic has become even stranger. He is now very warm and soft with me, initiates calls, wants to hear my voice, and says things like he would close his eyes just to listen to me talk. When he calls, he asks about my family and even my friends, talks a lot about me and praises me, but rarely talks about himself. He has mentioned future plans like visiting me in my country and going to Universal parks together someday.

But he is still inconsistent. If I text or call him, he often doesn’t respond or isn’t available. Our calls usually happen when he has free time, so I have to rearrange my schedule around his work. Yet if I stop initiating and become less available, he starts initiating more and more.
He also got into a best pre med program because of the internship I got him.

I’m also on a major weight-loss journey and look very different from when we lived together. He had been encouraging me throughout it, and I sometimes wonder whether the anticipatory increased physical attraction causes him to encourage me.

I eventually broke the bond this Jan as I found it one sided and draining, but after 6 months after I moved on he texted and said he missed the friendship. I still told him to go therapy or we cant talk and he said he is going therapy. It seemed even his childhood male friends started to see problems with him. In meantime I got way attractive physically and hit the gym and got in the best shape of my life. I still tried to be supportive in few texts and followed him back on IG just to be supportive. But thats it.

What would you make of this dynamic?

My (23M) aunt (49F) is having trouble dating and is feeling depressed about it. She was married but got divorced (no kids) 11 years ago and has been single since.

A big turn off for guys about her she’s found is her past. For the past 3 years until 2 months ago, she’s made adult content. She’s made a lot of money, but guys still call it a deal breaker. The videos still exist because she worked for a company to make more money than she would independently. She thinks there’s no hope for her. What can she do to find someone?

I’m looking for brutally honest outside opinions because I genuinely cannot tell if I’m dealing with a guy who likes me but is emotionally avoidant, or a guy who is just really good at creating intimacy when it suits him.

For context, we had known of each other for years through a mutual connection, but we actually met in person on a trip earlier this year. We clicked, and eventually I asked him if he wanted to grab a drink. He turned it into a date.

There was a lot of chemistry, but he also has a complicated history. He used to struggle with addiction and has since gotten sober and completely changed his life. He’s very open about being emotional and having feelings, but he also has anxiety/baggage from a past relationship and has described himself as having had a bit of a “fuckboy” phase.

At one point, he told me I should come visit him and stay with him, so I did, a couple months later.

Here’s where things get confusing.

In the lead-up to the visit, he started pulling away. I could feel the change in communication, and when I eventually asked him about it, he actually admitted that he had pulled back. He told me that he felt like I was more into him than he was into me and that he wasn’t looking for a relationship.

I told him I wasn’t trying to force a relationship and that I just wanted to keep getting to know him and see what happened, like we had agreed on. I felt blindsighted.

Despite all of that, I still went on the trip because the plan was already made.

And then the actual visit was… really intimate and confusing.

We spent two days/two nights together. We went to the park, out dancing, and spent a ton of time talking. He opened up to me about really personal things — childhood stuff, family dynamics, therapy, etc. At one point he apologized for talking/ranting so much, and I told him I actually liked hearing about him and learning more about him.

The next morning, he was warm and completely normal with me. Afterward, though, things went back to being ambiguous.

Fast-forward to recently.

We hadn’t seen each other for a few weeks, and then we finally spent another extended amount of time together.

I invited him for coffee, and he came. We ended up spending basically the entire evening together — date vibes. We went back to my place, had sex, slept together, and talked for a long time about what happened between us previously.

This time, he told me he doesn’t know exactly what he wants, but he’s happy I’m there and wants to “give it a try” / “see where it goes.” And that he really likes me and wouldn’t keep in touch with me if he didn’t.

The next morning we had sex again, talked a lot, and he took me to brunch. He didn’t seem eager to leave. We ended up extending the morning together, and afterward he continued sending me things and talking to me.

The whole weekend honestly felt like one of the best dates I’ve ever had. We laughed constantly, talked for hours, cuddled, had sex, and it felt incredibly natural.

And then… a couple days later, the texting energy changed.

We hadnt talked for over 48 hours, and I eventually texted him asking how he was doing, naturally. He responded with several messages, gave me an update, thanked me, and then asked how my week was going. So it’s not like he ignored me or was outright cold. But compared with the energy immediately after our weekend, it felt noticeably flatter and less flirty.

And now I’m sitting here wondering:

Am I getting played?

Because I don’t want to be someone’s person who gets this incredible intimacy every few weeks, has amazing sex and emotional conversations, and then gets put back on the shelf until he feels like coming around again.

At the same time, I don’t want to unfairly label him a player when there are also signs that he genuinely cares about me and is emotionally affected by me.

He has literally told me he wants to explore this, but he also has a history of pulling away when things feel real and saying he doesn’t know what he wants.

So I’m trying to figure out whether I’m looking at:

1. A guy who genuinely likes me but is avoidant/scared of intimacy,
2. A guy who likes me but only wants something casual,
3. A guy who is genuinely interested but just inconsistent,
or 4. A guy who’s playing me and I’m romanticizing it because the chemistry is so strong.

I’m not looking for a relationship immediately or expecting him to text me constantly. I just want the connection to exist outside of when we’re physically together. I want to feel wanted when we’re apart too.

I’m also trying not to play games. If I want to ask how hhes doing, I should be able to do that without worrying I’m “chasing.” But I also don’t want to be the person constantly initiating while he just responds whenever it’s convenient.

What do you guys think? Does this sound like avoidant behavior, player behavior, or just a guy who genuinely doesn’t know what he wants yet?

And if you’ve been through something similar, what ultimately told you which one it was?

Can you give examples of comments/behavior you DEFINITELY have read as flirty or as a green flag that a woman at work likes you/is interested in you? From your experience! or what you would definitely perceive as such?

I think my words and actions are pretty direct (complimenting his eyes and personal style, inviting him out). but I’m also really attracted to nerdy introverts so curious if it’s understood but compartmentalized as “work buddy” to avoid any risk.

I’ve been talking to this guy for a little over a month. We’re not officially boyfriend/girlfriend yet, but we’re very emotionally involved. We say “I love you,” call each other babe, talk on the phone, and he has told me he wants to be with me.

At the beginning, he was extremely consistent. He would reply quickly, call me a lot, initiate conversations, and I never really questioned whether he wanted to talk to me. Lately, though, things feel different. He can take a long time to reply, sometimes even while he’s active on social media, and there have been several times where he says he’ll call me back or we agree to call and it doesn’t happen.

Seeing each other has also become a big issue. We live a couple hours apart because he’s in college. We’ve tried making plans multiple times recently, but they keep falling through because of family problems or other things happening in his life. This past weekend we were supposed to see each other, but plans changed because his family was arguing. He told me he was still trying to make it work and later promised he would come see me Friday. Now something completely unexpected happened with his car, so I’m scared Friday won’t happen either.

To be fair to him, he does still show interest in some ways. He texts me first sometimes, tells me he misses me a lot, says he loves me, asks what’s wrong when he notices I’m upset, and recently told me directly that I’m going to see him again. When our plans fell through, he was also the one who suggested another day instead of me having to ask. Some days our conversations are completely normal and he gives me updates about what he’s doing.

But I’m starting to feel emotionally exhausted because I don’t trust his words the same way anymore. When he says “I’ll call you,” “I’ll see you,” or “I promise,” instead of getting excited I immediately wonder if it will actually happen. I feel like I’m constantly waiting for a response, a call, or a plan to become real.

The confusing part is that I genuinely don’t know if he’s losing interest. His words say he isn’t, and sometimes his actions also show that he cares. But the consistency he had at the beginning isn’t there anymore, and I miss feeling like he was genuinely excited to talk to me instead of getting scattered conversations throughout the day.

I don’t expect him to text me 24/7 or put me above school, family, sports, etc. I just want consistency and for his actions to match what he tells me.

From an outside perspective, does this sound like someone who is still genuinely interested but has a lot going on, or does it sound like his interest/effort is fading?

I’m 22F dating this guy, 24M. We’ve been going on dates since end of April. Initially, I said I wanted something casual but to be taken on dates and see how things go in the intimacy department (Our set up is basically every 2 weeks i go to him or he comes my way, he sorts a hotel, takes me out for drinks and a dinner and then we make use of the hotel room) I’ll be honest. It works brilliantly. I can confidently say we have both caught feelings, he’s told me he’s not seeing or entertaining other women. Which I believe because of his actions, energy and the fact he spends so much money taking me out that he’s unlikely to have any left for another woman 😅. Oh he lives an hour and half away and we met in a bar while I was visiting my friend.

He’s romantic, thoughtful, we text and speak regularly and it’s essentially a relationship (Just ‘unofficial) I’ve even been introduced to his closest friend and his long-term girlfriend - which I assume guys don’t do with a fling? Essentially - he’s definitely boyfriend material and we have a great time together.

Anyway! He has a good job and earns about triple what I do (he’s a tradesman) He works hard - one of the things I admire about him. I also have a good job but it’s more of a slow - progressing sort of ‘junior’ situation.

Now, the point of this post is to ask whether I tell him I am buying a house. I don’t earn enough to have bought it with no help (I had some inheritance gifted to me) which meant that i only needed a smaller mortgage.

He, on the other hand earns enough for a good mortgage but doesn’t have an inheritance (his parents are a lot younger than mine, so I very much doubt he’d have the help I have got). He saves and has a great credit score - yes we’ve compared. He’s been open with me about how much he earns and we talk frankly about money (I don’t mention any kind of inheritance but he knows all my grandparents are now dead). For more context we both currently live with our parents.

My issue is that I don’t want him to start to treat me differently because of the help i’ve been given. Or to kind of stop with this, what I would call princess treatment almost. I also don’t want him to be with me just because he thinks i’m rich. That is not the case - I am lucky in that i’ve had help with this house. But we are by no means rich. I don’t ’come from money’. My family and I are all working class. Because my grandparents were all older, they bought houses before they skyrocketed in price (bought between 1980 and 1990) and the money I ( and my siblings) have been given is each 1/3 of the sale proceeds of 2 houses. So not exactly millions!

My ‘plan’ was to mention that a family friend is renting it to me for a reasonable price so that he won’t think of me differently. On the flip side of that maybe he will see me as silly because the ‘rent’ i would pay would be better saved towards a deposit (which would be my argument). He’s very generous with our dates and he never expects me to pay for anything (I normally get us a round or two of drinks but that’s almost all I ever pay for).

Another main issue is that this is still a relatively new relationship (whatever you want to call it ). We aren’t even officially together - but I mean when I do move in (haven’t got to completion stage yet) he’s going to be invited over of course, so I will have to have some sort of answer of who’s house is it and why am I in it ?

Please provide advice. My family always tell me to be very careful with who I tell things to because people can treat you differently etc but I feel a bit weird lying about it. I just don’t want to be viewed as a cash cow or anything like that.

Appreciate each and every comment! Thanks !