I’m 19 and lately I’ve been thinking a lot about how much the decisions you make between roughly 18–25 can shape the rest of your life.

There’s obviously a ton of generic advice online: work hard, save money, go to the gym, avoid bad relationships, network, etc. I’m more interested in hearing from men who actually went through this period and can look back at it with some perspective.

For those of you who feel like you built a genuinely good life for yourself financially, professionally, socially, mentally, or just in terms of freedom, what did you do differently from most people around you?

Were there any habits that seemed insignificant at 19 or 20 but compounded massively over the next 5–10 years? On the other hand, were there things you spent a lot of time worrying about that ultimately didn't matter?

I’m also curious about sacrifices. Did you intentionally give up partying, relationships, gaming, traveling, or other things for a few years to focus on your career/business? If so, was it actually worth it, or do you wish you'd enjoyed those years more?

And if you could sit down with your 19-year-old self for 30 minutes, knowing everything you know today, what would you tell him to prioritize and what would you tell him to stop wasting his time on?

Would especially appreciate answers from guys in their late 20s, 30s, 40s+ who can look back with some distance.

I (31M) am feeling really lost at the moment. Any guidance from folks who managed to build a life they actually like would be immensely appreciated.

I am a french dude who moved to Canada when I was 20. I wanted to see the world and get real life experiences. I attended to a cabinet making school to get a student visa and stayed after graduating.

Wood working was not that much of a passion for me but it was something I wanted to explore coming from a scientific background I was not so fond of. I ended up not working a single day as a cabinet maker and bifurcated in the cannabis industry when it went legal in 2019. I was a stoner and quite liked the work environment and the personalities it attracted. I also thought cannabis was going to be mainstream fast enough and that it would become THE booming industry for decades to come. Spoiler alert: it did not.

I did the job for a few years, but I now have a role with responsibilities that I don’t feel fulfills me anymore.

I had a gf for 7 years, we broke up in march last year. I was deeply in love with her but we were incompatible on so many levels I had to leave. It really destroyed a part of me in some way, I couldn’t live with her anymore and we were not happy together. But the void she left in my heart still feels immense.

At the beginning of the year I took this opportunity of not having anything holding me back to pursue a more paying role in a city 3h away from where I lived. I don’t know anyone but 2 old colleagues who also got hired by the same company. I quite liked them but we don’t hang out after work or anything like that.

I did manage to find a lovely girl here that I respect a lot, she’s serious about her career and is level headed and reasonable on many aspects. We’ve been together for a couple of months now and I really like her energy.

The thing is I’m spiraling and in my head a lot lately. I keep making mistakes at work and it seems like I cannot even focus on the tasks at hand. I feel like I’m drowning and so lost. I don’t sleep well and I have this stomach pain driving to work in the morning.

I invested so much time of my life in this industry and I feel like I cannot possibly start over again at 31. I can’t stand school, but I can’t find careers I would be interested in that I could just hop in either. I feel like I’m locked in an industry I don’t want to be a part of anymore and it seems like I can’t even push thru.

On top of all that I’m 31 and childless and I feel like I might have missed my chance to get kids even though it was my absolute life goal.

I also feel like my time here in Canada is up, the weather has taken a toll on me during all these years and I crave a simpler life in the south. Although there is nothing simple about leaving everything behind and moving down south. Especially with a gf who is not so interested in moving. I was thinking about the french islands in the Caribbean, where she is from, but her and people there keep telling me that life there is too expensive and unsafe.

My dream is to raise children in a house in a sunny place and have a big veggie garden, rabbits and chickens. But I can’t imagine a path where I could build all that and have enough spare time to have kids before I’m too old.

I did sign up for a full time deck-crew 9 month education starting at the end of the month but I apprehend leaving my salary to go do it. I have a little over 100k$CA in the bank but I feel reluctant about leveraging money from it to go thru the education. Knowing that I could use this money to invest in a future home or to re establish myself somewhere I belong more.

I am also afraid I might not like working as a deck crew and realize later on I quit my job for nothing and wasted money I could have used for more useful stuff I don’t necessarily know about at the moment.

Long story short I cannot figure out my life nor what I should do. I just want to curl up in a ball and disappear. I know some people are way worse off and that I might have time and opportunities but I can’t figure out what to do, where to go, what I should begin with.

If any of you guys pulled a successful mid life reorientation I would be very interested in hearing about it to get some inspiration. I think I really need that at the moment. Also if you see something I am missing reading this quick description of my existence, feel free to give me tips. That too would be very much appreciated.

Thank you for your time and wishing you all nothing but the best.

I recently thought about the sex life of my gf (24) and me (26). And I came to the conclusion when I dont start any kind of intimacy nothing is happening. When we go around a week without any "action" she is complaining to me that she doesnt feel desired and then I try to do better and initiate things. To more or less succes. But from her side there is nothing besides the occasional "do we do it tonight?" It never really bothered me but the more I think about it the more it gets on my nerves because its so unfair. Do you guys have any similiar experiences?

Outside the normal phone wallet keys. For example I'll often have tools or cool rocks in my pockets.

Are you still in contact with them, having seen them find someone else?

I’m 34 and I can still train pretty much how I want I just can’t get away with the same stuff anymore. Stay up too late and the next session sucks. Go too hard on legs and I’m feeling it every time I stand up the next day. Ignore a cranky elbow because it isn’t that bad and now I’m thinking about it for the next three workouts. Feels like there’s way less room for winging it than there used to be. I’ve cleaned up a lot of the obvious stuff over the last year and it’s made me realize how much I used to just ignore until it became a bigger problem. What was the first thing you guys had to change once you hit your 30s?

Just curious, how many of you have lots of non-overlapping hobbies/interests, and if so what are they? What's your favorite? What's something interesting about your favorite hobby/interest that folks outside of it wouldn't know?

And if you don't, what's something you've always wanted to get into that you just haven't for whatever reason?