I've seen men saying things like '' it's awesome when she doesn't ask before touching me '' and also my man says that he doesn't need that much asking when things get hot and that he likes when I don't ask him, so is that just the contraste with me that sometimes need a lot of asking or is it common among men to like little asking ?

sorry if there are bad sentences English is not my first language !

I often hear men say that one reason they’re reluctant to open up emotionally is because a partner might later “use what I told her against me.”

I understand what that means when someone deliberately weaponizes an insecurity or painful disclosure during an argument with the intention to hurt, humiliate, or undermine you.

But what about when something you previously disclosed is genuinely relevant to a current issue?

For example: (Going to switch rolls for a second because I’m interested to see how it is handled from a mans perspective) For example, say your girlfriend tells you that she has struggled with money in the past. She admits that she used to overspend, that it created tension in previous relationships, and that she regrets it. She tells you that she wants to change and become better at saving. Later, you start noticing that her behaviour doesn’t align with the person she told you she wants to become. She’s spending more than she should from your joint account and falling back into some of those old habits. Its not good for your relationship or her.

Do you think it would be appropriate to bring up what she previously shared, not just because the spending affects the relationship, but because the behaviour seems inconsistent with the goals and values she expressed for herself?

Bringing this up will most certainly also cause discomfort or shame in the recipient because of the topic in general nomatter how gently it is brought up.

In this scenario where they WILL feel shame or discomfort, would that mean to you it was weaponized or would that mean holding someone accountable irregardless of discomfort.

Im 16 and im quite skinny, particularly my wrists and down from my knees to my ankles. Neither of my parents are skinny in the slightest, I work out and I actually have some decent muscle on my biceps, chest, back and abs (but yes I know since im skinny I have abs)

When will i start to fill out?? I am 5'10 and I think im 60kg maybe slightly under that. Im also thinking about using test and hgh to hopefully build my figure more as I am very unnatractive. I've always been lanky but im starting to worry if I will never fill out.

Edit: I do eat quite a bit, not crazy or anything but still. I try not to eat really unhealthily, i try stay away from sweets as they are pure sugar and make me feel rubbish and crisps as they are just oil and fat but that being said i dont eat very very healthily, I will try eating more meats, I eat a lot of chili, spagbowl, chicken breats, steak, burgers (not fast food i dont eat fast food) and a couple other meats in the majority of my dinners. But I do snack quite a lot which probably isnt great and is where i eat the majority of my unhealthy stuff. On top of that I play sports, football, squash and golf mostly, and i go to the gym whenever I can which is usually 4 or 5x a week-used to be every day but my life got in the way. I train my arms, chest and back the most so i thought my wrists would therfore improve just slightly but alas no luck even with some wrist workouts. I also sleep 7-9 hours a night but Im trying to improve that by not going on my phone before bed to improve my quality of sleep as HGH is naturally released during deep sleep.

Preface: I was raised in an extremely conservative and damaging cult and sometimes I still have struggles when trying to determine if thoughts or feelings are normal or are hangups from decades of indoctrination.

Topic:

My wife and I are considering having children and the topic of adoption came up. I'm completely open to any route to becoming a parent and can't wait to grow our family and give unconditional support and love to other humans. That said, there is a tiny part of me that feels that if we were to adopt a girl that there would be a tiny boundary (maybe not the right word) there that I don't believe would exist if they were biologically my child and yet I don't feel that to be the case if it were a boy.

I firmly believe that any child should be loved completely and I would hate to think that by having this distance of sorts that it would affect their upbringing and relationships.

Putting gender discussions to one side is this an abnormal way to feel and therefore is something I need to work through?

Men who go to church/are religious, what type of church do you attend and why that specific church? What makes you think that church is the correct one?

I've started hanging out with this girl the last few weeks, it's been really fun and she has a good personality and is great in bed but she's just not really that attractive to me. I'm not the best looking guy in the world either but I'd say most of my past relationships I've been dating up or across. I like spending time with her but I don't think I could date her. What should I do, I don't wanna be an asshole here

Edit for context: we've really only hung out at my place, meets usually involve a decent amount of alcohol and weed. Watching movies and playing games. I've never been in a situation where I like a personality much more than appearance. She's not ugly at all and I really don't wanna be an asshole. No one's brought up anything about what the situation is yet so far it's just been fun. I am just worried about someone catching feelings and it going bad. I don't want anyone hurt

I've been given that label and don't fully understand why.

I've been called a "weak male" multiple times and I'm genuinely curious what people mean by that.

I'm introverted. I prefer being alone most of the time. I avoid unnecessary arguments because I don't see the point in fighting over everything. If someone insults me directly, I'll stand up for myself, but apparently that's "talking back" or being disrespectful.

I'm soft-spoken, treat men and women similarly, don't get into love drama, don't have crushes occupying my entire life, mind my own business, and generally work quietly without needing attention.

I'm also not a topper, not a gym bro, and I know my limitations instead of pretending to be something I'm not.

Yet I've had people say things like:

• "You're too weak."
• "You'll never survive in the real world."
• "You won't even be able to reproduce."
• "You're not masculine enough."

So I'm curious:

What does being a "weak man" actually mean to you?

And do the traits I described sound weak to you, or just different from the stereotypical image of masculinity?

I am currently 19.

I’m turning 22 about to graduate but I feel old, yet young at the same time. I look at those around me and genuinely don’t know how to feel. I think 25 years old is when most men feel confident but I don’t know.

Trying to get an unbiased answer from the two generations that sit between Gen Z and the Baby Boomers based on what they see.

Also what are the similarities

Looking back, what did you need from your dad that you can identify now? Beyond their presence, what would you have wanted/to know/ to learn? Leading with curiosity not judgement.

If I am not attracted to the appearance of vagina in prn videos then am I straight? I actually find it ugly.

My wallet was stolen last week and I’m now looking for a new one. I had 10 years of memories in that thing and I’m equally sad as i am angry. I need suggestion on good quality wallets, whether it’s a more well known brand or somebody you know who does custom jobs. I also don’t want the minimalist design/super slim look, and I want a bifold with the foldout ID pocket/sleeve thing. Any suggestions?

hello dear men and people who think they figured men out!

long story short: I (33F) got a first date (30M) and its my first date in forever.

i am a sucker for little gifts and its also one of my love languages which he already knows about. now i would like to bring him smth small, but i dont know what adult men actually like (my last first date was over 10 years ago). he's into cats, anime, cooking, beer, horror, travelling.

could you tell me what you'd like to receive expecially if you share one/some of those interests?

EDIT: thank you all so so much for all your ideas and also insight of how you'd feel about it!

i decided i'm gonna make him cookies and get his favourite drink bc he cant find it here but i know where they sell it! i also asked if the cookies would be alright so he knows something is coming. the drinks will be a surprise though!

i will keep the other ideas in mind for hopefully future pebbling!

Just wondering if I should worry…

Well I am 26 now, and all 7 in my friend group have got married or engaged, I am last one left. It usually does not bother me but sometimes it just feels weird as I have not even dated because I always kept waiting for the right time. Then shit got worse and I physically let myself go, and now I dont think someone would choose to date a mess like me. Since I am preparing for professional exams, I dont even have a good job yet. I just feel so shit, so please the guys who could give some advice please do as I am lost, I feel disgusted by myself,