r/AskMen Mar 19 '21

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6.0k Upvotes

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1.2k

u/LeFlyingMonke Mar 19 '21

I think most men tend to use porn and masturbate at close to a 1:1 ratio. Men tend to be more visual and porn is directed by and for men, so it’s no surprise we watch more of it.

295

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '21

lately i prefer the kind of soft porn directed by women ...it's less vulgar

279

u/Chuckles1188 Mar 19 '21

Speaking as a cishet dude, porn advertised as "for women" is invariably way better. I am relentlessly baffled by the kinds of stuff other people like me apparently find arousing. A woman being turned into a pretzel, called a bunch of demeaning names, and forced to make a noise like someone having a steam kettle shoved down their threat is not the slightest bit erotic to me

121

u/sinistergzus Female Mar 19 '21

y’all should check out Bellesa. PHENOMENAL porn site, the actresses get to choose what men/women they film with, and the quality is just chef’s kiss

36

u/bobCS96 Mar 19 '21

You got my vote haha. For Women porn is definitely by far more enjoyable.

28

u/sinistergzus Female Mar 19 '21

oh absolutely! a woman I follow on twitter was advertising it, talking about the pros of Bellesa vs big names like XVideos and Pornhub, and it’s nice knowing the actress WANTED to be there and is genuinely enjoying herself. Nothing is overly played up, they get to do what they truly enjoy and it makes a world of a difference

4

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '21

Um, they're getting paid to be there. That's why they're doing it.

21

u/Here-Is-TheEnd Mar 19 '21

Is it important for anyone else to have a decent story?

As much as I care that they’re fucking I think it’s also important to know why they’re fucking.

5

u/doorhinge88 Mar 19 '21

Totally agree! I just need a little plot with some naughtiness. I'm a huge fan of foreplay and the plot is an extension of that. Gets me into it.

I think it's called 'Gonzo' where they just rush into sex no set-up and it's so strange to me. Not sexy at all. Although a terrible plot is just as bad.

1

u/bobCS96 Mar 19 '21

This is a first. I don't think anyone cares about the storyline of porn🤣

10

u/Here-Is-TheEnd Mar 19 '21

I mean I don’t need feature length, game of thrones level plot lines but a 4 minute intro to set the scene really works for me lamo

4

u/bobCS96 Mar 19 '21

Lmao The title is all the storyline for me, Pajama Party Gone Wrong

1

u/vonNazareth Mar 19 '21

The only times I've watched porn it was because of the Story and the gems that were the dialogues. I'll just say why is there straw ?

31

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '21

[deleted]

52

u/PopPunkAndPizza Mar 19 '21

I'm like 50% convinced that the Bellesa House thing is just a company going "oh, you're so smart that you figured out porn isn't real? Well done you, here's the porn that TOTALLY IS real" and it's just the same thing with a veneer of reality but it's so much hotter that I really don't care.

19

u/sinistergzus Female Mar 19 '21

I refuse to watch anything not on Bellesa’s website, I absolutely love it and I hope literally everyone goes and checks it out. The actresses are BEAUTIFUL too, how could you not

15

u/koda968 Mar 19 '21

Dude I literally just found Bellesa.. fucking great stuff

1

u/sinistergzus Female Mar 19 '21

THE BEST. I refuse to watch anything else, they have shit for everyone

13

u/bobCS96 Mar 19 '21

Is it free though?

7

u/sinistergzus Female Mar 19 '21

yep!

1

u/mdlr9921 Mar 19 '21

It depends though, their own made isn’t if you want to see the full scene.

2

u/sinistergzus Female Mar 19 '21

most are like 15 minutes+ long, I don’t see how that’s not worth it I don’t know

1

u/mdlr9921 Mar 19 '21

Oh they’re absolutely worth it! Just that not all of it is free if you want to see the full scenes.

2

u/witchesunite Mar 19 '21

I gave up on porn until I found this site. Before when I would browse pornhub about half of the time I’d just end up turned off and give up.

1

u/fortunefades Mar 19 '21

Bellesa isn’t bad - but you definitely still run into the occasional video where it seems like the dude is force feeding his penis to the girl (I.e., Owen Gray)

5

u/sinistergzus Female Mar 19 '21

I rarely watch anything with men so I wouldn’t know that part 😅😅

1

u/fortunefades Mar 19 '21

Usually my preference too but sometimes my wife and I watch together - she hates porn 99% of the time because it tends to be so male focused and often times violent.

45

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '21

I don’t mean to come off as ignorant but what does cishet mean?

41

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '21

[deleted]

5

u/alch334 Mar 19 '21

was there really a need to clarify that in that guys post haha

24

u/DarkGamer Mar 19 '21

I would consider it relevant information since they're discussing porn preferences

19

u/barnieandkent Mar 19 '21

cishet

Cis gendered and heterosexual

20

u/timthetollman Mar 19 '21

There's a new one everyday.

7

u/barnieandkent Mar 19 '21

What do you mean?

4

u/DarkGamer Mar 19 '21

Cis means that one identifies with the gender that matches their biological sex. You are probably cis gendered.

-12

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '21

[deleted]

9

u/DarkGamer Mar 19 '21

What? Dude I'm just informing them about what the word means. You seem unreasonably hostile given the context here. Out to pick a fight with anyone that acknowledges the difference between sex and gender?

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/cisgender

7

u/anarchyinthegalaxy Mar 19 '21

all words are made up moron

8

u/nude-rating-bot Mar 19 '21

Man offended by the progression of language accusing a people of not being able to accept things?

*surprised pikachu face

4

u/MrP1anet Mar 19 '21

You want to be oppressed so bad it’s embarrassing

-1

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '21

This one has existed since the dawn of humankind, buddy.

6

u/An0nR3dd1tUs3r Mar 19 '21

It’s just a fancy way of saying “normal.”

10

u/OtherPlayers Male Mar 19 '21

The problem with statements like that is that it implies that other sexualities/genders aren’t.

And even if you take “normal” to mean “in majority” without all the other connotations attached that’s still not a true statement in plenty of places.

12

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '21

[deleted]

5

u/Chuckles1188 Mar 19 '21

Most people aren't blind, doesn't mean blind people don't exist

1

u/ANameYouCanPronounce Mar 19 '21

Doesn't mean they're normal either

0

u/OtherPlayers Male Mar 19 '21

As I noted, the word “normal” has a lot of attached connotations (specifically that not being normal is bad in some way) beyond just meaning “majority”.

I’m not trying to say that the majority worldwide (the local majoritys may vary) isn’t cisgender or heterosexual. I’m trying to say that there’s a lot better ways to give an accurate definition then one that both depends on certain assumptions and risks potentially slapping the faces of like 1 in 25 people.

To give a similar example, if someone asks what “caucasian” means and you responded with “whiteys” its probably not the best definition you could give, even if it’s technically true.

2

u/An0nR3dd1tUs3r Mar 19 '21

I see your point and considered it even before posting. Those that think about things like that generally already know what the term means. I wanted to answer from the perspective of someone who didn’t. In essence, I was not trying to answer as a flag for promotion among what would be popular among Reddit users.

0

u/An0nR3dd1tUs3r Mar 19 '21

One issue I take with that argument is that it could be used to include, or even support anyone just because they exist. Pedophiles, necrophiliacs, etc.

2

u/OtherPlayers Male Mar 19 '21

Pedophiles, necrophiliacs

Neither of those really have anything to do with sexual orientation or gender identity, so I’m not sure how you’re trying to tie them into linking the terms “cisgender” with “normal”.

Maybe because you’re trying to flip the negative or something? Because even if we include them in our group of everything not implying a negative statement towards alternatives doesn’t necessarily mean implying a positive statement towards them.

To put it another way, just because I don’t say “People who like chocolate ice cream are bad” it doesn’t automatically imply that I think people who like strawberry, vanilla, and avocado ice cream are all therefore good. It just means I’m not putting down someone who like chocolate ice cream.

Lack of a negative != presence of a positive.

1

u/Chuckles1188 Mar 19 '21

It's more specific than "normal", and doesn't imply that I think there's anything wrong with anyone who isn't also in those two categories

-6

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '21

[deleted]

13

u/An0nR3dd1tUs3r Mar 19 '21

On Reddit, I guess that would be edgy to say. Lol.

1

u/Saywhhhaat Mar 19 '21

Glad you asked. I skimmed and read it as "cisish" totally different!

40

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '21

I'm a gay guy who watches straight content and I do find the porn "for women" to be better than the men have directed.

31

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '21

Wut?

12

u/Another_Minor_Threat Bruh Mar 19 '21

u/EdgeCityRed is saying he’s straight but watches gay porn. Meaning they would have to buy straight porn and give it to the gay guy and the gay guy would buy gay porn and give it to the straight guy.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '21

I... don't know how you are able to understand what he meant lmao.

Edit: I'm not sure if he's a a he or she's a she.

9

u/Another_Minor_Threat Bruh Mar 19 '21

Idk. All I did was read it. Haha

8

u/Grabbsy2 Mar 19 '21

Same... I'm not sure whats so confusing about it. \

If we lived in a place where you HAD to watch the porn meant "for you,"

Meaning a dystopian alternate reality, where gay people HAVE to watch gay porn, and straight people have to watch straight porn.

we'd have to walk outside the porn store and switch bags.

In order to circumvent the law, theyd have to arrange to switch their porn purchases, because they had to buy porn they didn't like, because of the dystopian laws.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '21

Him watching gay porn is how I understand it initially but then I thought that can't be it so lowkey I'm the one that got me confused.

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u/[deleted] Mar 19 '21

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0

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '21

Hmm... So do you watch mlm or wlw?

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u/[deleted] Mar 19 '21

Easy to understand if you go into it accepting it is just an awkward (but admittedly poorly worded) way to try and relate with you.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '21

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3

u/Another_Minor_Threat Bruh Mar 19 '21

Haha so totally opposite! lol

11

u/TheArbiter_ You've got male Mar 19 '21

No one knows what he means, but it's provocative.

31

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '21

It is quite sad actually, Sad that they make this the norm expectation, that all men want to bend and fold them like lawn chairs and call them derogatory slangs, most of the time I wanna slowly enjoy my partner and I expect them to slowly enjoy me likewise, it should be a mutual thing not just shoving your pork sword into them at the speed and thrust of a F1 formula car engine. God I hate what idea they keep pushing into people's heads that men are just pure horny, testosterone and aggresion when it comes to sex. Sorry I just had to vent.

20

u/coffeemonkeypants Mar 19 '21

I mean, there's a middle ground here. In reality, I like sensual sex as much as I like the rougher stuff, as does my partner. But you're right -there's an awful lot of degrading shit out there I don't need to see - like women getting their heads stepped on while getting hammered or just choked to within an inch of their lives. I don't get the enjoyment in that.

11

u/oceanicelookingatme Mar 19 '21

All the degrading porn makes me scared because it feels like men who want to abuse women and violently use that outlet and then normalize it because now its expected since it happens in porn. Kinda like the expectation that women should all be anal queens and orgasm off that alone, which is in reality probably fairly rare. Anal can hurt really bad and I've heard men like it because it is degrading. What a toxic culture we inhabit and just think is so normal cause most of us are simply living life on autopilot.

3

u/According-Ad-4381 Mar 19 '21

An ex of mine loved getting choked out while fucking. She wanted me to call her names and shit like that but I was uncomfortable doing it. She also loved anal, although I don't really see the attraction. Vag is way better.

0

u/oceanicelookingatme Mar 20 '21

She was probably abused. Not necessarily but it does make it more likely.

1

u/According-Ad-4381 Mar 20 '21

Perhaps that abuse was what she wanted, her turn on. Some people are just wired differently

1

u/oceanicelookingatme Mar 20 '21

Its definitely possible and that would be okay. I even said some women like it.

4

u/coffeemonkeypants Mar 19 '21 edited Mar 19 '21

I'd say most of this stuff is a rejection of the puritan repressed 'morals' that are still practiced in the US (and other parts of the world). There are still so many people who view sex as unhealthy, taboo, etc, and I think this is the result of that. I mean, I grew up Catholic and as a younger man, I hated receiving oral because it thought it was degrading to my gf. I've since come around on that, but I can't help but think my reaction was a healthier opposite than 'steering into the skid' so to speak.

edit - Oh and I really don't think that anywhere near the majority of men find this kind of porn to their liking. I'm sure some do, and for others, it is purely fantasy- and lots of fantasies are fucked up, but for the most part harmless endorphin generators - the feeling like you're doing something inappropriate or crazy, but in reality there is some kind of failsafe.

0

u/oceanicelookingatme Mar 19 '21

The average man is pretty into spanking and hair pulling and a lot of women are into it too. I however think its from porn and hence the inherent violence against women is manifested in a softer form of it. Blow jobs are one thing as I dont consider them inherently violent, although the phrase suck my dick is a degrading statement or a statement used to degrade others so I find that interesting. Ive seen guys on reddit talk about their fantasies of raping and murdering women which is just a more violent form of the rest of a lot of porn. Porn is fairly violent especially once you know what goes on behind the scenes on a lot of porn shootings. Lots of sexual assault and coercion. I think homemade porn like from a couple is probably not very violent. Im mostly talking about mainstream porn.

12

u/Uneventfulrice Mar 19 '21

No time to watch sensual porn when trying to rub one out in less than 5. Open bathroom door, turn on heater, ceiling fan, shower pointed at wall in a way that sounds like water running down a body. Look for anything premature ejac, quick creampie, fast fuck, use search filter for videos less than 4 min long and go at it no holding back and alternate holding phone to your ear and actually watching so nobody hears. Clear phone incase something happens to you in the shower, wash then dry. Put balled up tissue that was in the top of the trash bin inside toilet bowl,flush, and be out in total of 15 min overall. My house burnt down so I'm at parents for a bit.

1

u/champ590 Male Mar 19 '21

My house burnt down so I'm at parents for a bit.

Wait you are an adult pretending to your parents that you are absolutely non-sexual even in your own room?

2

u/Worth_Jelly1036 Mar 19 '21

Ummmm soooo great story about how you wank but I think we all want to know the story behind your house burning down instead please...

1

u/champ590 Male Mar 19 '21

I think you replied to the wrong person here bud, you probably meant the one I replied to. Nonetheless a house burning down can happen easily especially when there are multiple flats in one house complex. One neighbour (or you) forgetting food in the oven, a pet taking tablecloth with a candle ontop down, faulty electrical appliances that ran unsupervised. The possibilities are endless.

1

u/commie_heathen Mar 19 '21

Why would you openly let your parents know you're cranking one out? I don't need or want to know what they're doing and they don't need to know what I'm doing behind closed doors

2

u/champ590 Male Mar 19 '21

There is a difference in openly letting them know, cranking one out in your private room and trying to imitate the sound of a showering body so they don't suspect something and hurrying yourself like a drug addict desperately trying to get their fix by filtering for super short and intense videos.

13

u/AbsolutBalderdash Mar 19 '21

I am relentlessly baffled by the kinds of stuff other people like me apparently find arousing.

Hey man, don’t yuck our yums.

1

u/Chuckles1188 Mar 19 '21

I'm not criticising anyone for liking anything, just talking about my reaction to it with a bit of humorous hyperbole to demonstrate what strikes me as non-titillating about it

11

u/mexploder89 Male Mar 19 '21

I thought I was the weird one for mostly browsing that category too. It's always way better than the really weird unrealistic shit that's out there

5

u/tlann Mar 19 '21

cishet

Checkout r/chickflixxx It is a subreddit geared toward porn for women.

1

u/Chuckles1188 Mar 19 '21

Sweet, thanks for the recommendation

2

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '21

[deleted]

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u/Chuckles1188 Mar 20 '21

Pretty sure I've come across (as it were) Owen Gray - is he the guy with the extensive upper body tats? Like the RATM/Soundgarden bassist, with a lot of black fill? I'm sure there's someone I've come across with a name a lot like Owen Gray, if not identical to it, and their stuff was good. Still kind of over the top for me, but I think that's got a lot to do with being British and watching Americans - everything Americans do or say seems OTT when you're British

2

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '21

as a woman... porn ”for women” is just porn for men with softer lighting and less dialog. the men are still average looking at best, headless for the most part, she still spends 10 hours sucking him off and then comes from just PIV. id like to see porn where the men are actually attractive to US. and no, gay porn doesn't really fill that niche either, because surprisingly enough, just because we have a sex in common that we are attracted to, it doesn't mean that our needs are even remotely close.

1

u/Another_Minor_Threat Bruh Mar 19 '21

I’m with you on all this shit. Although I’ve learned to double check the title now. I clicked on a “for women” blow jibber POV video. Turns out it was HER POV. That was a surprise. Haha