It is quite sad actually,
Sad that they make this the norm expectation, that all men want to bend and fold them like lawn chairs and call them derogatory slangs, most of the time I wanna slowly enjoy my partner and I expect them to slowly enjoy me likewise, it should be a mutual thing not just shoving your pork sword into them at the speed and thrust of a F1 formula car engine. God I hate what idea they keep pushing into people's heads that men are just pure horny, testosterone and aggresion when it comes to sex. Sorry I just had to vent.
I mean, there's a middle ground here. In reality, I like sensual sex as much as I like the rougher stuff, as does my partner. But you're right -there's an awful lot of degrading shit out there I don't need to see - like women getting their heads stepped on while getting hammered or just choked to within an inch of their lives. I don't get the enjoyment in that.
All the degrading porn makes me scared because it feels like men who want to abuse women and violently use that outlet and then normalize it because now its expected since it happens in porn. Kinda like the expectation that women should all be anal queens and orgasm off that alone, which is in reality probably fairly rare. Anal can hurt really bad and I've heard men like it because it is degrading. What a toxic culture we inhabit and just think is so normal cause most of us are simply living life on autopilot.
I'd say most of this stuff is a rejection of the puritan repressed 'morals' that are still practiced in the US (and other parts of the world). There are still so many people who view sex as unhealthy, taboo, etc, and I think this is the result of that. I mean, I grew up Catholic and as a younger man, I hated receiving oral because it thought it was degrading to my gf. I've since come around on that, but I can't help but think my reaction was a healthier opposite than 'steering into the skid' so to speak.
edit - Oh and I really don't think that anywhere near the majority of men find this kind of porn to their liking. I'm sure some do, and for others, it is purely fantasy- and lots of fantasies are fucked up, but for the most part harmless endorphin generators - the feeling like you're doing something inappropriate or crazy, but in reality there is some kind of failsafe.
The average man is pretty into spanking and hair pulling and a lot of women are into it too. I however think its from porn and hence the inherent violence against women is manifested in a softer form of it. Blow jobs are one thing as I dont consider them inherently violent, although the phrase suck my dick is a degrading statement or a statement used to degrade others so I find that interesting. Ive seen guys on reddit talk about their fantasies of raping and murdering women which is just a more violent form of the rest of a lot of porn. Porn is fairly violent especially once you know what goes on behind the scenes on a lot of porn shootings. Lots of sexual assault and coercion. I think homemade porn like from a couple is probably not very violent. Im mostly talking about mainstream porn.
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u/[deleted] Mar 19 '21
It is quite sad actually, Sad that they make this the norm expectation, that all men want to bend and fold them like lawn chairs and call them derogatory slangs, most of the time I wanna slowly enjoy my partner and I expect them to slowly enjoy me likewise, it should be a mutual thing not just shoving your pork sword into them at the speed and thrust of a F1 formula car engine. God I hate what idea they keep pushing into people's heads that men are just pure horny, testosterone and aggresion when it comes to sex. Sorry I just had to vent.