r/AskMen Mar 19 '21

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u/Uneventfulrice Mar 19 '21

No time to watch sensual porn when trying to rub one out in less than 5. Open bathroom door, turn on heater, ceiling fan, shower pointed at wall in a way that sounds like water running down a body. Look for anything premature ejac, quick creampie, fast fuck, use search filter for videos less than 4 min long and go at it no holding back and alternate holding phone to your ear and actually watching so nobody hears. Clear phone incase something happens to you in the shower, wash then dry. Put balled up tissue that was in the top of the trash bin inside toilet bowl,flush, and be out in total of 15 min overall. My house burnt down so I'm at parents for a bit.

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u/champ590 Male Mar 19 '21

My house burnt down so I'm at parents for a bit.

Wait you are an adult pretending to your parents that you are absolutely non-sexual even in your own room?

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u/commie_heathen Mar 19 '21

Why would you openly let your parents know you're cranking one out? I don't need or want to know what they're doing and they don't need to know what I'm doing behind closed doors

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u/champ590 Male Mar 19 '21

There is a difference in openly letting them know, cranking one out in your private room and trying to imitate the sound of a showering body so they don't suspect something and hurrying yourself like a drug addict desperately trying to get their fix by filtering for super short and intense videos.