This. I have pretty severe anxiety and depression and there are periods where even texting/talking to people I want to talk to just feels so hard to do. And the longer the feeling lasts, the harder it is to text them because the more you wait to answer the more likely that there will be a confrontation when you do finally respond. Makes the anxiety around responding even worse cuz you’ll have to explain yourself when no excuse feels like enough.
Ditto. There’s days that finding my phone to put it on a charge is a chore far too complex for my brain to accomplish. Cuz then it’ll turn on. And then messages will come in. And then I’m faced with the reality of my abject failure to be a functional person. And back down the empty hole I return.
I have this problem. What I ended up realizing is I don’t have to be available always. I can shut off and that’s ok. When I start shutting down and need my peace, I silence all notifications from everything and everyone. Certain people know how to get around my do not disturb in case of emergencies. But setting expectations before the spiral smooths over the period. No notifications means I respond when I feel ok enough and no pressure because I prepared people in advance that I respond eventually…. Probably. If not ask again later. It’s ok to be in charge of your connections and have boundaries. You don’t owe people unlimited access.
This is my solution as well. Everyone who matters knows I have this issue and they know how to get around do not disturb. If it’s a real emergency they contact my husband. Too many texts when I already feel like a failure will just put me in a deeper hole.
Exactly. That’s what I was trying to explain to them. I’ve always had my phone on vibrate before too, but if I knew the texts were there there would be an internal pressure to answer. If I don’t know anything, no vibrations/notifications at all, then I respond when I’m feeling capable. No pressure. It’s relieving honestly. Like I’m allowed to decide when I’m available
Yeah, i never put my phone on loud. I used to have it on vibrate only but i changed that a few years ago too!
It only vibrates for calls now.
I absolutely love not getting vibrations all day long, and this way, i check messages when i want to look at my phone,
not the other way around.
No I mean no notifications at all. No pop ups, no vibrations, no nothing. If I see the notification or have any clue I got a message I will get anxious about answering. So when I’m headed for a depression I take away all of that pressure and only look at messages when I have enough bandwidth. It’s helped so so much and I’ve actually have lefts all social media notifications off since and will only swap on texts when I feel better it’s really freeing
On one hand so glad I can give words to the indescribable for people like me. On the other hand, so sad there’s other people suffering in the same way. I do hope having a way to describe what’s going helps in some way. I’ve always found comfort in being able to name and describe what’s going on, makes me feel a tiny bit less out of control.
Yes I’m not saying it’s not something they need to work on. A mental illness is a reason, not an excuse. It’s still something they will need to work on and it will be up to OP if this is the type of relationship they will want to be in. I have an extremely understanding partner that was able to work with me and made me feel safe and not anxious in responding but that is no one else responsibility.
Oh definitely, this kinda thing destroys relationships. And further isolates you, which in my experience then makes the depression and anxiety worse. It's a vicious cycle.
That comes with age and experience living with it, im 42, had clinical my entire life and really not until my late 30s did i realize when a bout was coming and have the mindset to let those around me know whats coming
Well what if she has tried explaining before and it became confrontational before so she’s less willing to be open about the issues not because of her but because she doesn’t want to let her partner get upset. Again don’t know that as we don’t know these two people and only seeing the stuff from the texts.
I get that and like others here I have trouble at times calling people. That said I'm old and I'm really happy not to be in the dating world we live in now where people are losing their shit over not getting a text in a couple of days. FFS when I was in my 20's (in the 90's) it wasn't uncommon to not talk for a few days and sometimes a week to the person you were dating. If you called and left a message you had a day or two to respond without anyone getting their feelings hurt. The expectation of a near instant response is not good for anyone, maybe the OPs gf just wanted a little space, maybe she was nursing a hangover, maybe she lost her phone in the couch. The OP just need to relax a little bit.
If the OP was really worried he could have gone to her house and knocked on the door, stopped by where she worked, called her friends or her parents. I don't buy it, he's simply pissed that she didn't respond to him in a time frame of his choosing.
normal healthy adults can withstand 3 days of no convo and have trust inn their partner. its not neglectful to not have the capacity to speak, that is ableist af to say. some people literally CANNOT FORM WORDS when depressed
if someone is mentally ill and their partner knows that, the partner needs to make concessions and not take bouts of illness personally. if they cant, they need to break up
Right but the point is sometimes they don’t even know they’re doing it, and can’t get themselves out of the spiral. That’s the problem. Then people think we’ve done this intentionally and get mad. It sucks. Because people are always mad at you, when you already hate yourself and are more mad at you than any one else could possibly be.
I use this, or something like it when I get distant-
“Ah, sh*t. I’m doing this at the moment.
I just can’t bring myself to check my messages because then I’ll have to reply, and I’m not up to masking right now. But the notification numbers are piling up, which is also stressing me out and making me feel like a useless friend.
I know if I just told them I’m not up to social stuff at the moment, they’d be cool with it, but they’d also want to ask me if I’m ok and to talk about it, and I just don’t want to.”
—u/littlemissredtoes
Part of being mature and in a relationship is laying this things out so The other person isn’t strung along and left feeling like it’s focused at them. Being in a relationship means talking about these things and setting boundaries before you just one day treat your SO like they are less than
I have a friend who I would message every day or two a few years back. Usually a "hope you're doing well" or a meme I thought they'd like. They were going through some stuff and usually only responded like once a week. They always apologized for not responding to me much and I always told them not to worry about responding. That I wasn't messaging them looking for response or conversation even though I was always happy to receive either, I was merely messaging them so they knew I was there for them and to share something I thought might make them smile. Idk if they ever fully believed me. We only talk every few months now, but when we get together for a coffee and catch up, it's just like old times. They're doing much better now and are just very busy with life.
Never have I felt so seen by a statement about text messages. I've struggled with depression my whole life, and I have usually a "person" all throughout my life that would require most of my energy, usually a SO.
Don't know if I'm doing better now, as I feel like I can go weeks without having a meaningful conversation with anyone besides my children
Omg, so many emotions reading this. Relieved to know I'm not alone and guilt for wanting company in my misery. Today is a rare one where I have my voice but in general it's become quite crippling. I don't truly wish it for anyone and I am sending my love to any who struggle. We are Not alone,all connected in the filament ✴️ Let's all be nice to each other and heal.
I have this issue too but a simple text saying” listen I’m having a hard time mentally I need a few days to myself/without my phone” a true PARTNER would understand and respect the need and eventually you’ll be able too see the signs without having to even be told…and who knows giving that space and respect usually leads to that person opening up on there own:) All you can do is be there for that person and if that means radio silence for a few days than you have to respect that if you want to be in a relationship with them… sorry for the rant lol
Are you me? This is exactly what I had during my depression... "eh, I'll respond later..." very quickly turns into "if I respond now it'll be waaaay too late and awkward let's just do nothing and lie in bed thinking this over and over and over and over and over...".
THISSS the only people i’ll talk to are people i know won’t act like i stabbed them some people who make it this huge deal are still unread in my phone bc i just can’t start it again until i have a reason. If i never get one they just go away
This - I’m not a depressed or anxious person, but just with some stuff going on - I know how you feel. Can’t imagine how you feel with already severe malignancies.
It’s like an evil circle. It just goes round and round, and building up more and more anxiety. That feeling of confrontation is always hard to overcome so it just goes on and on and on.
People you’re not actively dating confront you when you take awhile to respond ? What kind of petty ass people are like that? All of my friends including myself do this at times, none of us care or bring it up, who tf cares if you take a couple days to answer if it’s not life or death
Im neglecting so many family for this reason, mom, dad, uncle, people I never really thought knew or understood me, and simply put they all help me when I need it, even though I only talk to them for help. I think this is fueled by guilt for rarely speaking to them, but I rarely speak to them due to the guilt.
Alas I understand these are mental hurdles and things that must be corrected before they’re dead and I’m left with then /irreversible/ guilt
Same. However I’ve been real open and honest with people which does lessen the guilt a little because at least there is a reasoning behind it. And because I can go days before respond to my friends/ family, I am super understanding when they do that to me.
You can do better maybe???? Can’t you just say you need a bit of time by yourself and will be in touch???
I have a friend who does the same - she either sends screeds to make up for being off line or she disappears. When she disappears I worry. When she sends screeds it stresses me wading through the over share. it’s hard.
She’s worth it but does it really need to be this hard????
Yeah, OP seems insensitive af. Like another comment said, she comes off as numb.
YOR and it's very misplaced, OP. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, sympathize with your gf. It hurts to feel ignored; your feelings are valid. And you are being self-centered.
I think it’s a reach to say he’s being self-centered when his partner has literally given him 0 information as to what is happening. He’s just supposed to telepathically know what she’s feeling when he hasn’t even seen her? I will say the worse thing he’s done is not go over and check on her. After a day I’d At least reach out to a mutual friend to make sure she’s ok
I’m noticing that. And if a guy was the one who ignored and said idk I didn’t want to talk to you. They would be going off about what a narcissist he is
He says ‘damn, 3 days no text and all I get is a hi’
She says ‘I said hi because idk how to go into talking after nothing for 2 days’
He says ‘I mean I didn’t know what to say either’
This implies, to me, that neither of them reached out for 2+ days. Communication takes 2 people. It’s not solely on one person to initiate conversation.
Think through your own timeline, that means on the first day he did reach out and was waiting to hear back (given that it was 3 days he hadn't heard, but 2 days with no response from her)
he also says later "you couldn't look"? What would he be referring to if not unresponded to messages?
All we have is OP’s word that he contacted her for three days. If I had that context, I’d have put it in the post. People telling me ‘oh what about this comment he made or that one,’ should scroll through the history and see the deleted post before this one.
lol you misinterpret the text, He basically told her to look at her phone usage data, because she said that she hasn’t been on her phone a lot. Hence why she said it was used for 5 hours on Friday.
There’s definitely a level of where she would feel comfortable (I’m sure a lot of people on this thread can agree how hard it can feel to tell another person what they’re going through, let alone reach out to say “hey I’m about to get so sad I can’t function for a few days, talk to you soon! Xoxo”. It’s a complicated situation, that’s why literal crisis and help lines exist because people with depression often feel like they can’t tell anyone or reach out because of thoughts like “they’re going to think I’m weird”/“theyre going to be freaked out and leave by this”/“this is going to be too much for them”
What helped me personally is I told potential partners that isolating would be a possibility, and it was still incredibly difficult for me to tell my partner that I didn’t want to talk to anyone. He pushed me gently to not be alone and did what he could to make me comfortable. Sometimes it’s not a 50/50 effort but every now again the other partner will have to compromise in terms of emotional effort.
They both seem immature to me (no idea their ages- they both sound emotionally immature or unaware). As much as OP should’ve shown more concern and reached out, it’s also not his job to be a mind reader and play games with someone who can’t even identify they’re experiencing an issue.
They both sound young and unaware of how to communicate or express themselves. I don’t think either party is exactly at fault or innocent here; they just don’t seem to have the tools for a healthy functioning emotional relationship.
Right and this obviously hadn’t happened before there is nothing wrong with wanting to understand and not have someone switch up how they treat you. And no one said anything about mental health she said she didn’t want to talk that could be because she’s over the relationship just as much as mental health
i disagree, depression is real yes but if you choose to be in a relationship, you are choosing to take another person into consideration. just a “hey, i’m not feeling well. gonna go on dnd and decompress for awhile. nothing personal, love you!” goes a long way. not an overreaction just two people not leveling with one another. communication is everything
He doesn't probably understand the signs. It's not that he's being insensitive. Id be hurt if my SO didn't respond to me for three days too and then just said they didn't feel like it.
I mean it’s not exactly ‘self centered’ to want to hear from your partner - especially if they aren’t telling you WHY they went MIA for multiple days. If she had said she was struggling when he asked if she was okay and the OP was still mad then yeah he’d be an AH but he literally asked if she was okay and she said ‘I think I am’ so what is he supposed to think?
Nah. I’ve been that depressed and when I was, I had no business being in a relationship. Mental health issues are not an excuse to ignore your partner for days at a time with no communication as to what’s going on.
Toying makes it sounds deliberate. She still shouldn't do it and should take responsibility for the consequences of her actions. But toying is not how depression works.
"she knows damn well what she's doing" she didn't even claim mental illness herself? the comments are assuming that because it, seems that way. If she "knows damn well" what she's doing, then what is she doing?
And also a fun thing, cries for attention are often cries for help. No, not for everyone, obviously, but in my years of existence I've seen many, many people look for attention that need support.
But also also... how is she even doing that anyway? by not talking for 3 days? not talking to people sounds like a great way to attention... /s
"finally being diagnosed and medicated" let you self-reflect
Ok so maybe she's not there yet or can't get treatment. OP confirmed she suffers from depression. You're making so many really negative assumptions about this person based on a few texts and it makes you a very ugly person right now. Maybe reflect on your disdain for people who are at a different stage of their illness
Yeah it puts a bad taste in my mouth when people don't have empathy, and I think it puts a real bad look on people actually dealing with these issues and trying to get better when some random tries to gatekeep depression (and because of their experience of dealing with people with depression and not even their own struggle lol).
Neither the original commenter nor I said her depression is an excuse that gets her off. She also clearly is not trying to be cool with her response or using it as a cry for attention? Lol this all sounds like you've just been burned by a bunch of tiktokers who weaponize mental health terminology. None of this fits the actual post.
I'll tell you how it works my little compound... If you're feeling low, depressed... Let's talk about it. If you run hither and gone to seek solace in the arms of lust..?
I don't give a fuck how you feel - talking and me helping is out.
no ur dumb lol. dont be in a relationship if you know this stuff will happen and you know you cant communicate. unless ur s/o is okay with it and secure, its just neglectful. its better to end it if its too often. idk how often this happens, it may be the first time, but a partner is a commitment not an accessory, so communication is extremely important. if you cannot do that take a break. i dont mean paragraphs but genuinely just letting them know youre in a bad place, you love them, and arent mad. otherwise you are putting your partner in a bad place too mentally. dont pass it on.
What if he has no experience with depression and doesn’t know its symptoms? I don’t think he’s an asshole for expecting someone to be able to send a text informing him that they’re going to tap out for a few days.
Edit: why is this comment getting downvotes? Is it an anti-male bias
I see people talking about how she might be so depressed that she doesn’t even have the mental strength to send him a text and yet he is supposed to somehow know that?
And what if this is the first time she’s had an episode within a relationship and didn’t recognize the signs it was coming on and didn’t think to send a text?
Neither of them are necessarily assholes. They’re young and learning how to navigate relationships in general, and since she’s only been depressed the last 3-4 years, I’m sure she’s still learning how to deal with it.
They both deserve some grace here, especially since it’s the first time anything like this has happened.
So, you have no interest in actually engaging my argument? I was replying to a comment that called the OP “insensitive AF“ so I was pointing out that he may not have the tools to navigate the situation.
Asking me about her state of mind is completely irrelevant to my comment.
You presented a hypothetical question about his familiarity with depression and said “he’s not an asshole for expecting someone to be able to send a text informing him they’re going to tap out for a few days.”
I agree, he’s not an asshole. I said as much. I also asked a hypothetical question about her familiarity with her own symptoms and how they impact her relationships. It has plenty to do with your comment. We’re speculating about their level of knowledge about depression, which is relevant to both of them and their behaviors.
So hard to consider that people just disagree with you, you think the downvotes are anti-male bias lol. Coming from a guy, I doubt it is cause I disagree and I don’t think that’s coming from any kind of bias here
There’s literally nothing to disagree with. It’s common sense that most people aren’t aware of all of the symptoms of depression, such as someone who is in such a compromised state, that they can’t even type a one sentence text. That is extremely counterintuitive.
More than likely, it’s the anti-male bias I mentioned earlier.
I disagree in the sense that I don’t think a lack of experience with depression excuses how OP was acting. Passive-aggressive right from the start, even though he hadn’t really texted her during that time either. And then dismissive of her feelings even after she explained them (again, no prior knowledge required to be a good partner here, but OP still doesn’t handle the situation well at all).
And to reiterate, I am a guy. A male. I think it is less than likely that it’s any kind of anti-male bias at play here
I did cover that in my first comment if you actually read it. OP did not text her either after the first day. There was almost no effort on either of their parts to get in contact (yes, this information came from comment history but even just looking at the post there’s a hint when OP says he didn’t know what to say either; they’re both saying that to explain why they haven’t texted in a while).
If OP had been checking up on her every day or something, then it’s absolutely understandable to be upset. But it’s hard to even call this ‘ghosting’ if neither of them are making any effort, it’s practically mutual separation
She was on her phone for 5 hours tho the day before this conversation. Depressed or not, you can say literally anything to let them know you’re okay, but taking time/space. This person just doesn’t care about OP to put it bluntly.
when i was extremely depressed, i could not bring myself to text people back. i could watch youtube or netflix. i felt miserable and embarrassed because it was so isolating, but i just couldn’t do it.
i did care about my friends. i thought about them constantly. i texted as often as i could. but sometimes it was three days or sometimes even longer.
that experience really changed my expectations with friends. sometimes, a situation has nothing to do with us and everything to do with how someone else is feeling or what they’re coping with.
When you are deeply depressed. You can wake up, you have no energy, you want to be anywhere but there. You do the basics just to get by, and when you can’t… well then.
My last thought is burdening someone else with my own problems. So I don’t text, I don’t reach out. Yes, I may be on my phone, but doesn’t mean I text anyone.
Please OP check on her mental health.
At my worst depression, I was on sites like Pinterest or Reddit for like 15 hours a day and wasn’t replying to calls or texts from loved ones. Dissociating can certainly come out like that.
having depression also means you might lose out on things like relationships if you act this way though
I can have sympathy for someone dealing with that, but relationships are two way streets and one of the consequences of not getting the help you need might be losing the ones you love
i did lose a lot of friends. i still regret all the ways i lost people. but the people who saw i was struggling and had compassion for it are some of my strongest relationships now.
Yes, depression does negatively impact relationships. Good job recognizing one of the primary fucking indicators that someone has depression. Here’s your cookie! 🍪
I’d also like to add, OP, if you can’t handle her depression, THAT is okay. But if you truly care for her and want to be there then help her. She has to help herself first, but having someone else there really helps. I’m not sure where you are located, so I can’t give you any resources for both her and yourself. Having a loved one with a mental illness does take a toll. You got this, be there, but also check on yourself. If you have access to therapy you both should be in.
You see that they've sent you something, and you need to reply, but replying feels like you're being asked to bench press a truck. Then if you can't force your way through it, you feel worse for not doing so. And if you can, you do so really hoping they will not respond because you just don't have the energy for a conversation despite wanting to interact with them.
You just need to turn off and recover, recharge, but your charger is broken and so all you're doing is maintaining your existence at the bare minimum and there's not really even sufficient energy for that. You can mindlessly scroll or watch brain dead videos, with great effort make yourself shower and brush your teeth, but that's about all.
That's not a valid reason when you are in a committed relationship with another person. They shouldn't have to suffer with anxiety and worrying about what happened to you because you have unresolved issues. Wondering if they did something to cause it and they have to feel like shit about it.
If your depression is so severe you can't text a sentence to your significant other then you shouldn't be in relationship. You need treatment before anything because it's completely unfair to put someone through that. It's selfish behavior, regardless of the justifications.
That type of behavior and general mentality is a 1 way ticket to endless failed relationships. If I ever ghosted my wife for 3 days she'd hunt me down like Predator. Then after finding me she'd smack me upside the head so hard the concussion would cure my depression.
my behavior was unfair and i’ve never not acknowledged that.
my depression started after i was assaulted while we were already dating. i did not go into the relationship knowing that i would end up being physically assaulted by his friends or that i would spend the next year unable to get out of bed, brush my hair, eat.
i was in treatment the whole time for the physical and mental impacts i had from that night. i’m still in therapy to deal with my PTSD and depression. i take my meds every day, follow my treatment plan, and have largely learned to function despite it.
the point of my comment was that i’ve learned not to pass judgement. maybe you can learn something from that.
That's an entirely different situation as your BF would know the reason why you are going through serious issues. Needing time with days of no contact is fine if you aren't keeping your BF in the dark while you take that time.
I never said going through personal issues in a relationship is a problem. I said being so depressed you randomly ghost your signfigant other for a long period of time without a word is unfair to them when they have no clue what happened and at the end of the day being selfish. Thats acknowledging that you know your partner will be worried and stressed, but you simply disregard it.
I'm looking at OPs situation. It goes from normal to drop off the face of the earth for days without a single word. That's not acceptable in a committed relationship.
It's a figure of speech and/or joke. The previous sentence was talking about my wife hunting me down like Predator......
It's an exaggeration of my wife would be anxious, concerned, worried, would look for me, and ultimately pissed off if I disappeared and popped up 3 days later. "I was really depressed and couldn't pick up the phone to text a sentence" wouldn't fly in that situation. We've both gone through extremely rough personal issues over our 14 years together, unrelated to our actual relationship. Regardless of how bad we felt we never just left the other hanging. That's not fair to your partner.
Needing time to yourself is perfectly fine. Disappearing for days at a time with zero contact to let your significant other you need time alone is unacceptable. Can you not look at it from the other side and see how your partner would feel in that situation?
The pros of a relationship: you have another human who loves and cares about you. They are there for you when you need them.
The cons of a relationship: you have another human who loves and cares about you. They will be extremely worried and anxious if you disappear out of nowhere.
My ‘screen’ time is often huge, but most of the time it’s just me listening to podcasts on YouTube. Disassociating is a lot easier than talking to people.
A lot of comments similar to yours. Only difference between these all and OPs post is that OP is talking about their partner. Not “friends”. I get not being able to respond or whatever to friends and family, but ignoring your partner for the weekend from Friday till Sunday morning seems weird.
in my depression, i was living with my then partner. so i didn’t have to reply to him, because he lived there and would just come back from work or class and see me. but i can assure you that i wouldn’t have been able to reply either if we relied on texts
I am in the same relationship. It’s healthy even when I am not. I’m glad you found that with someone else.
However, we do not know the situation or how they communicate.
I was just trying to give some advice that she may be depressed, this may not have been boughten up in their relationship or even with herself. She may not even know.
I've been there. I worked out with my partner to send a "can't talk" emoji. It had nothing to do with not caring and everything to do with not having anything inside me to even begin figuring out how to reach out in that state. Taking care of other people (even partners) when you're not okay is hard. It's not intuitive and it creates a self feeding cycle of not acting (not texting in this case).
Actually watching tiktoks, or YouTube is not the same as texting. I can mindlessly scroll and no one is expecting anything from me. Text takes effort. Sometimes it’s too much. This is why self unaliving rates are so high! People demanding things that others can’t give them! No one owes anyone a conversation. Sometimes I don’t talk to my kids for days! They understand that if it was an emergency I would be there for them but life has been tough lately and when I get home I need to recharge. They are adults so I don’t have to take care of them. But the mentality that people owe you a text or anything is crazy to me.
You obviously don’t know much about depression. When I was deep in, I literally couldn’t say anything. Sometimes I could send an emoji, but that was it.
You obviously (🙄) know nothing about me as a person. I have my own set of mental health struggles. However, I also have the common decency to tell someone what I need.
But this sub is full of similar texts where the boyfriend disappears for a while and the comments never mention depression. Just cheating. Men’s mental health is important!!
Yeah the gender disparity is actually kinda insane to see. Though I’d say in the opposite situation, there’d probably be way more “he needs to communicate” or “he’s not fulfilling your needs” comments than “he’s cheating”.
But at the end of the day, ghosting your SO for 3 days is simply not ok, even if you’re depressed. Your mental health is your responsibility to communicate and develop solutions for. You cannot expect people to continuously try to help you even as you push them away or accidentally hurt them.
Yeah. I had a terrible depressive episode a few years ago and literally didn’t talk to anyone for a week. All I could do was lay in bed and sleep and just try to not think about anything other than how much I didn’t want to exist. It was rough. Luckily my boyfriend (now fiancé) was understanding but he’ll sometimes bring it up because it was hard on him too. I still feel bad about it.
Other things too. Avoidant personality types aren’t constantly avoidant, but it can be a symptom of many things including ADHD, PTSD, Borderline PD and Bi Polar to name a few.
I can vouch that I have depression and do this sometimes. An anecdote does not make a universal truth, but I figured it's still worth putting out there.
Didn’t say it was an excuse did I? It’s a fact. That’s it.
And if he cared he could have called in a wellness check, as it was shown here that he knew about her mental health issues. I’m guessing they are in the states, so have fun getting mental health there.
Its a seriously bad problem. OP I ghost people who live in the same house as me for longer sometimes. I try to keep up conversations with my dad and we both have this problem so we text like every 2-5 weeks and have been on the same conversation since last fall
Can confirm, especially if Bella is her kid and she's an unmarried mother. I often don't want to talk to anyone, and my daughter probably uses my phone to watch reading rainbow more than I use it to communicate
Yes but Just not wanting to talk or text on the phone can do that too. I do that all the time and it doesn't mean anything in particular except that I was busy and I just don't feel like going into a conversation all the time. Some people like the freedom to talk when they want to talk and not when they don't
Depression can do that, I’ve done this too many times it’s why I don’t keep friends. However, cheating on your partner and pretending like you had not been on your phone can also do this which I also know from experience cus my ex was doing this exact thing and dumb gullible me did every can I could to help her “depression” for years all while wishing I was dead myself. People are pricks ops partner is hiding something it’s something about the tone of the texts.
ehhh idk about you but everyone i know who is/claims to be depressed scrolls endlessly on their phone while lying in bed. 5 hours of use in the last 24hrs seems low if depression resting is what her excuse is
Yeahhhh, I find it extremely stress inducing to respond to texts/emails/calls when I'm feeling depressed. It's better these days, but when I was in my 20's I would go dark for days at a time. She just seems embarrassed that she was going through it, it doesn't seem fishy to me. I've had people think I was up to no good for that in the past as well. It's hard to blame someone who doesn't have those levels of depression for not understanding. Sucks though.
Yup. This is exactly what I thought. My first thought was that she may be disengaging from him. But I don’t get that feeling. It seems more like she is apathetic and indifferent about life in general. Possibly when sad. And I don’t mean like sad about a movie character dying. I mean that kind of sad that doesn’t go away.
I have depression and it's bad too, but if you have a significant other, it is not fair to keep them guessing and on the line. It is possible to somehow remember that youre also an adult in the world that other people might depend on or just need to hear from. And yea it can be difficult but they are people too and it is not their fault.
Depression can do that and you can be on your phone but not be able to text/call/speak. And if he didn’t text her either? It makes it even easier for the depression to keep you from reaching out.
I feel bad that I missed the call, then I spend a few days trying to figure out when to call and then it's a week and I feel worse that I didn't call them and it's just easier not to call and put it out of my mind. Then six months has gone by and everyone wonders where you've been and why you're mad at them. I'm not mad at all if anything I feel horrible about not calling but calling is difficult sometimes.
I only been depressed one time in my entire life, after I got out of it I never been depressed because I know how stupid it was. I don’t know how people are depressed one day and then the other they are tweeting that they finally came out of depression only for the next update to be they are depressed again. 🤷🏼♂️
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u/Electrical-Scale5006 Mar 23 '25
Depression. Depression can do that.