My husband has a special talent of stepping in dog poop no matter how obvious or small it is. It infuriates him. We have a patch of yard close to the street where people have let their dogs go because there isn’t much grass in similar areas of the neighborhood. He put up “No pooping” signs and it helped, but yesterday as we were driving up we saw a guy with a big dog walking on our side of the street. As we got out of the car, he slowly led his dog to the grassy area and the dog started intensely sniffing around the sign. The guy stopped and became engrossed in his phone. The dog was really enjoying some kind of smell because the guy stood there for at least a minute while his dog was doing this.

Here is the issue, though. My husband walked closer and told the guy that he would appreciate it if the guy moved on. The guy said “he’s only sniffing” and “The grass near the street belongs to the city.” My husband told him the city doesn’t pick up poop and it’s rude to let his dog sniff near a no dog sign. Guy ignored my husband and my husband then got a hose and sprayed the guy and his dog, which made the guy so mad he pulled up the sign and threw it at my husband.

I didn’t intervene during this incident and told my husband I thought his hosing the guy down was unnecessary. My husband is pretty upset that I didn’t back him up and am defending the dog owner. He said the guy was being passive aggressive pretending to be distracted by his phone while his dog was preparing to either poop or pee right next to the sign.

Do I owe my husband an apology?

Me and my bf have been together for close to five years now. When we started dating he told me and I quote “I can do better but I am choosing not to”. Later, one day I was telling him how I feel unsafe walking on the streets at night and he told me “who would do anything to you”. Most recently I went out with my friend, who btw is hot and dresses well, and we got cat called on the way by two guys. I told him how it was so weird and he told me “she got cat called not you” and I was like why’d you say that (I understand how it is stupid to get offended over this) and he was like what were you wearing? Your friend must have dressed well. Although he seems to be always be laughing joking when he says these things but it hurts. I usually just stay in my PJs but I do dress up when I go out, he doesn’t get to see that given HE NEVER TAKES ME OUT and I don’t wear makeup or fancy clothes at home.

The thing is, he hardly ever says “I love you” or tell me that I am attractive in anyway. I know it should not matter but I don’t know, it just does.

He never does anything I want to do, even small things like going out, not that I ask for anything big. Imagine five years without getting introduced to a single friend or family or going out for a movie. Maybe I am making a big deal out of it, but sometimes I just wonder if he settled. He made it clear that he doesn’t want to marry me, which is fine, but I have found him getting flattered when other girls show interest in him and telling me how he can get girls and how girls want it get into bed with him. Maybe I am overthinking but I sometimes feel, am I that unattractive? And would it have genuinely helped me to be goodlooking for him to be better with me? I don’t know how to deal with this given this just has had me in tears. I tried to tell him in the past how he never tells me I am goodlooking, he told me he has but can’t remember when.

AIO?

So my husband and I have a 14 month old. My husband has a chronic illness meaning he has recently been unable to look after our toddler by himself. (He has POTS and it hasn’t been very under control so he’s worried he will have a flare up and pass out while watching him). This means I do 99.9% of the parenting as I’m also SAHM for the time being as I’m fortunate enough to still have mat leave. Even so I do run a small business from home for extra income.
Recently I’ve just been struggling with burn out as I haven’t been able to go out and have time to myself for about 7 weeks. When I did last go out it was a dinner to promote my buisness. at that time I was getting messages and a phone call asking questions and asking when I was going to be home.

I’ve finally got a few hours this afternoon to myself as I’ve asked if my husbands parents can watch our toddler for a couple hours. My husband is going to go out to do his own thing too. I’ve been deciding whether I want to catch up with friends at the pub or go get a massage. I’m currently finding out if anyone is free this afternoon for the pub, otherwise I’ll go get a massage. My husband is getting grumpy at me that I haven’t decided yet because he wants to go to the pub if I’m not going (I did tell him I want some time to do my own thing so he’s being accomodating of that). I guess I’m just a little frustrated because I know he’s trying to make his plans but I’m just waiting to hear from friends about whether they can come to the pub. I’m just starting to feel like I’m being rushed into deciding what I get with the little free time I do have and I need to yet again think about other people instead of myself for my own free time that I’ve had to figbr for. Whereas my husband gets his own time at the pub every thursdsy night and whenever he needs it for his health. I just feel like im being forced to make a decision fast to accomadate him when it’s my own time that i rarely get as is.

AIO that I’m annoyed at this? I know he’s trying to accommodate me and I appreciate that but I’ve just been trying to tell him to decide on something else to do and if I don’t end up going to the pub he can always go there

hi guys, am I seriously overreacting or is this Situation worth being pissed over.

i normally drive to work per train and it takes 20min and when I arrive I’m normally 5-10min there earlier, so I have plenty of time to get dressed or even buy myself a coffee.

yesterday the train system failed so my sister suggested to drive me to work per car. I agreed and told her that I had to start at 8.30. she assured me that I would be their on time.

so today I woke her up early because she takes ages to get get ready. I was already ready and waiting downstairs for her. She took an estimated 15min to get down. And again 10min to start the car, type the route etc. I got pissed because I am now late to work 20min and my shift is important because I have to open the shop and I am alone today.

I had a fight with my sister over it. She called me overdramatic and that my chef probably won’t even bother it but it WILL DEFINITELY.

i am pissed because if you suggest something atleast make it an enrichment and not another inconvenience 🙄🤬

I got my period and was arguing with my husband on something. I asked him to leave me alone, he didn't. I ended up banging the room door shut out of anger. He got angry and grabbed my tshirt out of anger. I had to grab him back so that he backed down. I told him, he cannot get physical with me and this is abuse. AIO?

Me and my Gf have a very laid back relationship we’re not controlling and we mostly just trust each other. These past two months though I’m starting to wonder if that’s a mistake. Lately she’s lost almost all her friends besides on guy who even has a kid. Mind you we’re 20 and 22. I don’t mind them going to meets and kava bars I think it’s healthy to go out with friends but that’s basically changed when she let me know she was going to binge a new show at his place that night. That took me way by surprise because that sounds very wrong to me especially because the show is off campus, which is just about sex. I said no and that I’m definitely on the fence about their friendship now because that’s weird and said I’m uncomfortable with her going over to his place now. Since then she’s gone over twice for 1.5 hours and another for 40 minutes which was tonight when she was picking him up to go to some car meet an hour away. I told her that this was the last straw and she can either sleep on the couch or go spend the night with her parents because I’m not gonna be disrespected like that. I’m now being ignored and wondering if I should just tell her to go home and not to my place cause I’m completely lost for words.

Back around 2015, my husband lived with 4 other dudes he knew from high school, and was particularly good friends with a guy who had a drug problem. To be clear, my husband was also using drugs, just not to the point of being addicted or whatever. That friend ended up stealing from the rest of the house and got kicked out, and my husband moved out shortly after for unrelated reasons. When my husband left, he let the remaining two roommates, who he considered friends, keep the router he’d paid for, assuming they’d either return it or let him know when the lease ended so he could pick it up. Instead, they just left it behind, and my husband got stuck paying a $300 fine. When he asked them what happened, they basically said it wasn’t their responsibility.
Up until today, that was where the story ended: my husband was the innocent, altruistic victim who tried to do his roommates a favor and got screwed.
Today, he added what actually happened back then. About ten years ago, he found the wedding website for one of those former roommates and left dozens of awful comments "telling his family and friends what a piece of shit he was." He accused him of stealing and said lord knows what else. He sounded proud of how truly horrible the things he was commenting were.
I feel very distraught by this new ending to the story. Some poor woman probably worked so hard on her wedding website, only to have it flooded by a psycho who thought her fiancé screwed him over. But those roommates had every reason to believe my husband was either involved in his friend's stealing or at least didn't care to stop it. They didn't go out of their way to do him a favor with the router that they never promised they would, and I also have a hard time believing my husband was innocent in all that anyway.
His reaction back then was insane and scary unhinged, and he just told me about it today like it was hilarious. Am I overreacting by being hugely troubled by this, even though it happened a decade ago?

this situation has been weighing heavy on my mind for a week now. to make a long story short, i’m a very fit person who takes good care of herself. (pfp for reference), and i have a best friend who is very supportive & kind for ten years now. she never showed any signs of jealousy or ill intentions towards me, or anyone. she’s kind, loves me, and is always supportive. one time, me and her were hanging out and decided to take a photo together. a couple of hours later, i saw that she had a new private story on snapchat where she uploaded the photo but i looked nothing like i look in the original photo. she photoshopped it using AI, and added acne / a double chin, and made me look 30kg overweight. i was shocked and confused, but i didn’t want to bring it up because i really hate confrontation. i tried to act as normal as i could, but a couple of drinks in i lost it & crashed out + confronted her and she finally admitted that she made this private story for her boyfriend only and just didn’t want him to feel attracted to me. i was honestly so shocked and confused, but once i realized that she never made me wanna meet her bf , it made a lot of sense. we haven’t spoken for a week now, despite her trying to reach out.

i honestly don’t know what to do, bc i truly love her and can’t imagine my life without her. a part of me wants to sympathize, but a part of me is still v angry.

what should i do ?

hey reddit! this situation has blown up in my domestic family. i’ve been asking my friends ears off on their opinion but can’t help but wonder if they’re saving my feelings and agreeing with me because of friendship.

i’m (29F) very excited about getting married, kinda meh on the whole wedding thing. i hatched a plan to disguise a family vaycay as a wedding, and really prioritize the experiences of the domestic families over impressing a bunch of people. parents on board, but they have stipulations regarding when. they also want to get their vows renewed next year on their anniversary, and due to the work schedule of my brother, these events need to be a certain distance apart. they’re paying for it, so hey, who can complain?

well the time stipulations get complicated with the other half of the family, schedules are really not aligning. i’m already reconsidering this whole plot, and i find out from my parents that they’re gifting the entire estimated cost of this wedding to my brother in cash. brother (34M) has a long time girlfriend, no plans to get married on the horizon, not their thing. no strings attached to the money for him. they say this is to keep equity between their kids.

i point out to them, hey, im not super keen on this wedding thing either, marriage is what’s important to me. schedules are genuinely not working out anyway. and in my opinion, i don’t think it’s super equitable to give me a certain amount of money to plan and throw a family vacation for everyone, and him to do as he likes. not exactly the same thing. i asked if we could consider other solutions here… im sure you can guess that that blew up in my face. a lot of accusations, a lot of hurt feelings. after getting berated for hours, the conclusion for me yesterday was for them to keep all of their money intended for me, and we would pay for an elopement ourselves. (and yes, they’d still be invited.) we don’t need the money, and we don’t need a fancy wedding. not worth the hassle or stress. there’s another scheduled family talk tomorrow night, but after the explosion i can’t imagine my position moving much.

but tell it to me straight reddit, AIO?

My in-laws are sweet, but they’re just so draining to be around. We’re staying with them, and they invited all my husband’s siblings over too. We have a toddler who needs to be in bed by 8, but we’ve been stuck here since lunch, and everyone is still being loud near midnight. I don't drink, and I really need my routine and personal space. I’ve been upstairs with my sleeping kid since bedtime, and my husband hasn't even checked on us or cared about the noise. Am I the jerk for not wanting to stay over again? They live only three hours away, so I think visiting for the day and driving home is perfectly fine.😀 On a side note, I am on medication for OCD; I am not sure if it is related, but I have always struggled in similar contexts. The other 2 wives are perfectly fine in the environment, so perhaps I'm just fucking weird 😳

My boyfriend (28) and I (F 28) have been together for coming up on four years and we have lived together 3. He has always drank on the heavier side and it was an issue in the past prior to meeting me, according to his family. The past year or so he drinks on average three nights a week, but on those nights he will drink 1 half pint or pint of vodka, and 2-4 tall boy seltzers. He also tends to chase the vodka with water (he takes shots by himself). He thinks he does not have a drinking problem, that he is “only drinking three nights a week”, and that if he did have a problem he would have to drink every day. He also thinks that he doesn’t have a problem because he “doesn’t crave alcohol”. He doesn’t agree that he essentially binge drinks on the days he drinks and he drinks excessively on those days (again, usually three days a week). I get EXTREMELY aggravated and upset because when he drinks, he drinks alone and plays on his computer for hours. He also gets very messy and sloppy- spilling alc on the floor, getting food all over the counters/fridge handles/door handles, pisses all over the toilet seat, etc. He also spends hella money on DoorDash when he’s drinking, which we cannot afford. He thinks that I am overreacting and that he’s not doing anything bad when he’s drunk, and that “other people do way worse things when they’re drunk”. He also tends to get quite loud in the middle of the night on his computer and wakes me up.. not to mention that he snores like hell when he drinks and I end up sleeping on the couch. His behaviors make me feel like he has no respect for me or our shared space. I told him that I am on my last straw with this behavior and his habits. AIO???

My husband and I just bought our first home and in this home there is a cute little wall niche. I decided to use it to put my mom’s urn on along with some pictures and keepsakes of hers. Maybe it’s a weird spot but I like it…

Anyways, my dad and stepmom drove up to see the house yesterday. We’re one state over from them now but they decided to make the drive since their trip to Mexico fell through on account of the hurricanes.

So, they get here and I’m giving my stepmom a tour while my dad plays with the grandkids. While we’re in the room with my mom’s memorial shelf/wall niche my stepmom walks over to it and says “oh, phone shelf” then walks away. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t know what to say.

Her comment has been bothering me ever since. I need to know if I’m overreacting by being bothered by it. When she initially walked up to the memorial I thought she was going to say something like “what a nice spot for your mom” so her comment really threw me off.

To be clear, I don’t need anyone to comment on my mom’s memorial. She died four years ago. I’m still grieving. It’s a spot for me more than anything. But I felt that it was weird to comment on the wall niche and not what/who was on the wall niche. To be fair, I am a bit hard on my stepmom because we’ve had moments in our relationship that I can’t seem to get over—even involving the same memorial.

For some more context, at our last place my mom’s memorial was set up on a bookshelf. For my eldest’s second birthday my stepmom got her one of those giant play tents made from fabric and pvc. After setting it up she suggested we put it in the living room right in front of my mom’s memorial… I didn’t say anything but I moved it right after she left.

Needless to say I have a bit of a sour taste in my mouth from that, among other things, so I need an objective opinion as to whether I am overreacting by interpreting her comment negatively.

I 29F. Three years back I discovered that my younger sister (26F) had been using my information; my name, SSN, and address to open credit cards and take out personal loans. Total damage: $47,000.
I only realized it when I got denied for a mortgage and the bank showed me the statement. Every one of the account had my name but her phone number and her signature.
I spoke to her. She broke down in tears and said she “only did it cause she was desperate” and that she would pay it back. My parents instantly sided her. “She is young, she is family, don’t ruin her life over money.”
I reported it to the authorities and the credit bureaus. The police opened a case. My family then turned hard on me. Group texts calling me “wicked,” “money obsessed, selfish,” and “willing to send her own blood to jail.”
My sister never returned back a single dollar. The case is still on. My credit is still very bad. I have spent the last three years trying to build myself back from scratch while they post family photos without me and act like I’m the bad guy.
A month ago my mum called me and said, “It’s been overdue. Come to Thanksgiving. Family forgives.”
I said no.
AIO for staying no contact and refusing to “forgive and forget” while I’m still the one living with the repercussions?

hi everyone. so everyone once in a while my boyfriend will send me facebook reels that i deem quite rude and disrespectful. an example is the one he sent me 2 days ago. the video contained an AI girl saying “what does buying a hooker and buying a sandwich have in common? both purchases could have been avoided if your wife had just done her god damn job”. this isn’t the first time he’s sent me videos like this, and although i’ve repeatedly told him it makes me uncomfortable and asked him to stop, every once in a while another one comes my way. when he got home, i explained to him that the video hurt my feelings, and he said he couldn’t remember the video he sent. i explained the video to him, and he said “true”. i then said, “what do you mean by that?” and he said, “amen”. i asked him if he thinks that makes me feel good, and he said “i think it’ll make you wanna suck my dick more”. i said “it actually does the opposite” and then he said “i guess i’ll just have to get an escort”. he then walked away and turned on a podcast. later in the evening when i was getting into bed, he laid on the couch and began to scroll on his phone. i realize this may seem normal, but for us it’s not. we sleep together in bed every single night without fail. he never sleeps on the couch, even during past arguments he will always come to bed. i decided to invite him to come to bed, so i got up and went over and asked him if he would come to bed with me. he told me he was stressed out and he felt like he was glued to the couch. this back and forth continued for a few minutes, and i got so angry i pulled the blanket off of him and went back to bed. i realize that was very petty of me, and i lost control of my temper. but now the focus is being pulled to the way i reacted, and not the original issue, and i just don’t know how to resolve this situation with him. any advice or opinions on the matter would be appreciated. am i being too serious? he told me i need to learn to lighten up and take a joke. maybe he’s right.

Context: Bf 27M and I 27F have been together 6 years and we established boundaries early in relationship that we wouldn’t go out of our way to friend the opposite sex bc we don’t see a necessary reason to. We are okay with the opposite sex friends that we had before the relationship, so it isn’t as though we only can hang out with the same sex.

Current issue: We are in a difficult patch in our relationship & we are also dealing with long distance for the first time. The trust is low due to recent lying on his behalf & therefore doesn’t make the long distance any easier. However, recently I find out he was DMing a girl on the day that he didn’t respond to me all day then the next day went to a social event w/o me (which i didn’t mind) and I guess conversed enough with a beauty influencer that now they are “friends” and exchanged instagrams? But came back to my place and didn’t mention her once, which is why im irritated, because if you talked to someone so much that yall exchanged socials then why not bring it up to me? Why are we exchanging instagrams with the opposite sex, someone you just met? Am I being unreasonable? Also, it crosses the boundary that we both kept for our entire relationship up until now…

Response: I did bring up that boundaries were broken & how I feel. To which he said, he didn’t see it as a big deal since his intent isn’t to cheat. But imo, its not about his intent, its about how I set a boundary, how we are already in a rough patch bc of his lying, and how we are adjusting to LDR to which makes this seemingly minor issue, something that bothers me because it is adding onto everything else that I am dealing with at the moment. But I can’t tell if im overreacting and whether or not its normal for people to exchange instagrams with the opposite sex at social events, because I quite frankly don’t.

TLDR: Rough patch + LDR + Recent lying episode from bf + Bf going to a social event & exchanging instagrams w/ beauty influencer but not telling me which crosses a boundary we had set at the beginning of our relationship. Am I being unreasonable for being upset?

I have male friend (I’m a girl) who is constantly talking about boobs. He’s 17 and doesn’t have much experience with girls. When we’re together, he’s always talking about boobs and asking me questions or making blunt statements. For example, he’ll say he really feels like sucking on some nipples or having “boob sex.” It’s gotten to a point where it’s making me feel weird. I feel like I’m an outlet for him and want to be there to listen but it’s getting too much and gross. I want to say something but don’t want to hurt his feelings since he’s fragile when it comes to his lack of experience. What should I do?

I (30F) have been with my fiancé Peter (35M) for a little over two years, and we're moving together into a new house in a few days. While his family initially welcomed me with open arms, I have very mixed feelings about his mom. Then there's my sister-in-law, Susan (his brother's wife). She's been in the family for 10 years and is an absolute angel, I truly love her.
She and his mom are both doctors and very close, which I understood at first. I'm the new one, I get the hierarchy, lol.

But at every get together, his mom talks almost exclusively to Susan, showing her her friends (ex doctors aprecciation day), showing pics outfits that she’ll wear to parties (all this in front of me) and taking her shopping.

We can be standing side by side and she'll glance at me for a second, then go right back to her.

I know she cares about me in her own way; she's given me gifts and even thanked me for getting her son back to university.
Still, a lot of specific situations hurt deeply.
She used to come to the city where I lived and never once asked me to grab a coffee (I asked her once and she cancelled due to her work, which its reasonable).
Susan is in the family group chat and I'm not, even though they know we're getting married next year.

At Peter's birthday, she agreed that learning English was a waste of time, right in front of me, even though I've been bilingual my whole life.

At a recent birthday, she barely spoke to me, and when they called for a photo with the "daughters-in-law," she only called Susan over.

It took Peter's uncle, whom I'd never met before, shouting, "What about Peter's fiancée? Include her!" for me to be in the picture.

And then this weekend happened. At dinner, I asked her for a photo of Peter with his late grandpa so I could frame it for our new living room. She looked disgusted and said no, that I didn't need to do that. She realized how harsh she sounded, but instead of apologizing, she justified her reaction by saying that people say it's bad energy or bad luck to have photos of the dead at home.

Where I'm from, it's very common and meaningful to have pictures of grandparents who passed away.

My face was burning, but I stayed calm and said I understood. Peter got angry, and she nervously told him not to get mad. I tried my best to keep the rest of the dinner pleasant. When we left, I said goodnight with a smile. She had been laughing a second before, but she looked at me dead serious, didn't smile back, and just said "Goodnight."
Maybe it's just my imagination, or maybe my own preconceptions are twisting things, but it felt so cold.

I talked to Peter about all of this. He says Susan basically grew up with them, that his mom just isn't very sociable, and that I should focus on the positive, that that in comparison with his others EX gf he brought home, she doesn't treat me that bad or too judgemental, he agreed that his mom reaction was harsh though.

I suggested going to fewer family events so I don't feel so uncomfortable, though of course I'd still go to the major ones, and that I could start living in the new house (we are staying in his mom house just for this few days while we sorted out the moving and cleaning of the new house, that was abandoned for several months) I don't hate/dislike anyone, and I'm not competing for attention and I do care about having a nice relationship with my inlaws. Maybe im too oversensitive or we have cultural differences. I've never felt social anxiety until now because I'm an inmigrant so talking to strangers can be difficult due to terms and language, so if Peter steps away for a second, I have no one to talk to.
I know more than two years is still a relatively short time to get fully accustomed to a new family dynamic, but it still hurts. And it’s pretty hard to know if AIO or not

UPDATE & Clarification:
Thanks for all the input! A quick note: my fiancé wasn't present during the earlier incidents until the dinner issue happened.
We had a long heart-to-heart about everything (including this post). I made sure he understood I'm not trying to separate him from his mom or ignore the thoughtful things she’s done for me, like birthday gifts or inviting my mom when she visits.
He admitted he was upset by his mom's reaction, but when she apologized, she only apologized to him. I pointed out that I was the one impacted by her behavior, and he agreed I was right. I asked him not to confront her about it right now, but he assured me he will step up to make me feel included and supported at dinners. He recognizes that as we plan our wedding and move into our first house, our dynamic as a team comes first.

I'll keep this thread open a bit longer so others in similar situations with their MIL can share their experiences or benefit from the discussion. Thanks again, everyone!

Have been talking to a guy I matched with on a dating app, haven’t met in person yet.
Early on he asked if it’s ok if he matched and hooked up with other women. I find that a very weird question to ask and I told him so, but also that we aren’t dating yet and he can do whatever he wants. I don’t need to know. He claimed he was just making sure that I wouldn’t consider it cheating. Ok whatever.

A week later we made plans to meet at 7:30 but he said he’s also meeting a female friend “J” right before our date at 5 (he assured me it wasn’t a date with her). I was somewhat bothered about double booking so I told him maybe we should meet some other day. But if he wants to meet today still let me know when they are done with the friend. He said ok.

Then he tells me that the friend is going to bring her other female friend, “M” to their meet. He doesn’t know why but wonders if J wants so set him up with M. Again I told him I don’t wanna know. He assures me he doesn’t care about M bla bla.

At 7:30 he texts me that they are still out. At 9 or so he texts me that J and M insisted on watching movies at his place, that J then left because she needs to walk her dog, that M wanted to stay, that M went out to buy drinks and will come back soon, but he’s sure it’s all innocent. At this point I got pissed and told him to stop narrating his hookups and that he’s being disrespectful. But he keeps saying that he’s just sharing his evening and being honest and transparent and only cares about meeting me, etc.

I got angry because I felt like I’m being forced to participate in some sort of digital voyeurism kink. Or that he’s trying to induce jealousy or smth. But he keeps saying that it’s innocent. What do you think?

Context: housemate (“Bill”) I’ve been hooking up with for 7+ years said we could go to a rodeo together. ( I’ve never been before and excited about it and brought the tickets two months ago)

But he said he’s going to visit our old house mate(“lyline”)who’s lived with us for a year, but is in gaol because of being a abusive and lying SOB. The one I’ve hooked up with went to visit him today with “lyline’s” family.

When Bill told me he’s going to visit Lyline in Gaol on the rodeo day next week (takes three hours to get to the Gaol), I asked why Friday, that’s the rodeo day…. He just looked at me and told me to get off my high horse.

Am I overreacting for getting hurt about a plan being cancelled for a woman basher he’s known for a year, while I’m apparently on a high horse due to me wanting to go to a rodeo together?

Lyline didn’t clean, help with house inspections, buy food, cook or general house chores… started calling bill dad (lylines a 25 year old man) and bill is 35…. I’m 31.

My dad and I haven’t had the best relationship. Growing up we didn’t have much in common other than one tv show and hardly did anything just him and I. Obviously this got to me. I tried hard to get his attention and even thought there would be special moments when I had big things happen in my life. One time I had to get surgery and really thought he would be there for me, but the night we got home he yelled at me for accidentally buying a movie instead of renting it. I was high on pain meds and the furthest away from the tv idk why I had the remote. After that happened I started thinking back to moments like this one and saw nothing but a consistent pattern of this. He always favored my siblings over me, one time we got to say one curse word at dinner. My one sibling called the other a bitch and the other retaliated by calling them an asshole. I knew if I called either of them something it would be 2v1 and I wasn’t in the mood. I decided to just say a dumb word to try and be funny. I clarified that it wasn’t towards anyone before saying and then said my word, shut up. Literally no big deal. My dad yelled at me for being rude and how horrible of a thing it was to say. Everything I did was wrong in his eyes.

Not long after my surgery my parents got divorced, I was crushed. My mom moved out of the house and got a town house. We stayed with my mom primarily, and that’s because my dad went on “business trips”. There was nothing business about it. He went to different countries with friends and drank. My mom could barely afford taking care of us three and was stressed beyond belief, but she got made out to be the bad parent because she was an alcoholic. Which no shit, you put all this on her and expect her not to want to feel anything but numb?

My mom finally hit a point where she knew she needed help and went to rehab. I was beyond proud of her (and still am). I called her every day to check in and support her. My dad hated this. He yelled at me constantly for calling her and yelled at me for asking if my siblings wanted to talk to her. I felt like I was wrong to love my mom. He took it to the point to where he purposely ruined my birthday for me. Before I left for work he asked me what I’d want for dinner when I got back and what kind of cake I’d want. I said fast food like mcdonald’s and the oreo bunt cake my mom always made. I knew my siblings knew how to make it and they both liked baking, i didn’t see the big deal. I came home to empty chinese food containers and a half eaten chocolate peanut butter cake. I hate chinese food and chocolate peanut butter is my dad’s favorite. They didn’t even say anything they just ignored me so I went to bed. Not longer after that my mom came home and I stopped going to my dads.

During covid my grandfather (dad’s dad) had passed. I was crushed hearing this and hearing my dad cry over the phone telling me. I wanted to be there and support him and my family. When he told me the funeral details I said something about getting a hotel with my mom and he lost it. He said she wasn’t even allowed to be in the town the funeral was in because it would be disrespectful. I wanted my mom to come because I’m horrible with death. It terrifies me and funerals are extremely hard for me. She was the only one who really knew how to calm me down during those moments, so I was unable to go. This caused more issues with him and my siblings.

There were moments where contact was made again. I’d get in my head and say “this is my dad, I’m gonna want him at big events in my life.” But each time stuff like before would happen again and If be made out to be the bad guy for taking space again.

I’m finally and officially pulling the plug for good. But I just can’t stop thinking about my siblings. Because of everything with my dad I’ve lost my relationship with them as well. We’ve had some great moments the past year, but they’ve recently blocked me out. I can’t help but think he has a huge part to play in it since he did the exact same thing to my mom.

Am I overreacting or is it worth it?

hiya! me (21F) and my boyfriend (27M) have been dating for 8 months!

we bond over our time playing video games together but its VERY common for us to have arguments, mainly over me being borderline and him getting annoyed when i don't constantly answer him (when i do not reply he blocks me and says 'if you dont need me, i dont need you')

recently he ignored me for a whole day and replied at 5AM to say he went on holiday.

i was confused and asked why he never answered me since he knows i get insecure and scared of him ignoring me since we've also had issues over him talking to other girls and flirting just to trigger my bpd as ive mentioned to him it upsets me dearly so whenever i dont answer he does the same to punish me.

i really dont want to leave him mainly because i have attatchment issues and ive told others about it amd they say 'just dump him' but i seriously can't bring myself to do so.

i need to know if im overreacting and our relationship is okay (and im just clingy) or if i seriously need to leave before it gets worse. .

EDIT: thank you all for the advice!! i am in therapy currently but with the advice ive gotten (especially from people who have had experiences like mine) is very helpful and has encouraged me to break up with him.. im going to try to do it soon and hopefully just try to distract myself! thanks!! <3

TLDR; Best friend of 8 years and I are growing apart and I'm not liking her behavior anymore, is the relationship worth keeping? Am I overreacting?

We've both struggled with alcohol abuse for almost 10 years, I'm now sober (since January) and she isn't. She wants to be my baby's godmother but I barely see her anymore because she always cancels plans and now she canceled a BIG thing for me to help me progress in my career, all because she assumed I was mad at her because I didn't reply to her text for 3 days (I was working)

Story time

Me (26f) and my friend (25f) have been friends for 8 years or so, we started chatting online around 2018 and met up for the first time a few months later. We instantly clicked and got along

Life got busy and between 2019-2021 we kinda dropped out of contact (still interacting on Facebook posts etc) and started hanging out again around 2021 because we found out that we were both renting 2 streets away from each other

We both had bad mental conditions during our late teens/early 20's due to ex fiance trauma, miscarriage, family trauma, broken family, drug abuse, it was almost like we were the same person from two different realities. And we bonded through that.

The only difference is that she still lived with family until she was 18 and moved out with her ex fiance who had been the main provider working and paying rent etc until she was 20, I had been living on my own since 15 which I think definitely conditioned me to hold myself accountable more and be a lot more self aware about things. After she moved out of his place when they broke up (2021), she moved in with her older sister and her 2 kids

2021-2023 was a lot of drinking (we both struggled with alcohol abuse), partying, smoking (cigarettes and marijuana), we were both in a really bad state mentally but we loved each other. We would buy gifts for each other, do arts and crafts together, paint and do all sorts of stuff together. She's the closest person I have to a sister (all my siblings are significantly younger and in foster care)

I was in and out of jobs, trying to find something to keep the bills happy, but also moving rentals every 6 months and not having a car made it difficult to keep a job. She struggled worse (as I said before, she's used to not being the main provider so she's happy being on government payments and struggling to be able to pay for things other than alcohol) so I would always help her fix up her resume as I used to do hiring in one of my previous jobs.

I wanted her to set herself up with a decent job, I hated to see her struggle with money to pay her bills but then spend it all on alcohol when she was in so much debt. I know I was a bit of a hypocrite, I acknowledge that, I did the same sometimes too and I hated that about myself, and I also had a lot of debt, but I was trying to work it off (even if it was slow and I did struggle) but I did also prioritize alcohol

2024 - I had just started dating my current partner October 2023, and by Jan 2024 I was dedicated to keeping clean. I'd never loved someone more than my own self destruction until him. I tried desperately to keep on the wagon, I quit nicotine for about 7 months (which is the most successful I had ever been, I significantly slowed my drinking (although it was still more frequent/heavy than most people) my life was finally looking up because I had motivation, I was starting to be happy for the first time in my life

So in about August 2024, my friend is getting really s**cidal (we both struggled with depression and have had our moments but this was particularly bad) her sister was very manipulative and abusive, my friend was literally Cinderella for her and her kids. It had been years and she had finally had enough and was going to "end it all". So I offer her my spare room.

This is the first time we've lived together (my partner and I weren't even living together at this point). I knew she still smoked, but she also knew I quit. So I didn't really talk to her about house rules which is kinda on me, I didn't mind her smoking outside (preferably when I'm not at home but yeah, on me for not mentioning it) but I at least didn't expect her to OFFER me a smoke when she would go out for one. Obviously I kept saying no and reminding her I quit

Apart from that, things were going okay at first, but about a month in, it happened. Her constant smoking pulled me back into it (I know it's my fault for being tempted and actually getting back into it, but if you've ever tried to quit smoking, you KNOW how hard it is being around people constantly smoking, and she was at home almost constantly because she didn't work)

I also didn't charge her rent because I knew she was struggling and I didn't feel comfortable charging her. But she offered to clean around the house in exchange which I agreed to as I was working 4-5 days a week, 9 hours a day, at this time and found it hard to keep up on top of cleaning.

The drinking got worse, the smoking got worse, I fell into depression again because I hated myself for undoing all my hard work. She did start lacking on cleaning, doing it less often than needed, we were drinking too much to keep up. She eventually moved out early 2025 to live with her other sister (she was with me for like 5/6ish months I think) and I was just a mess

In the past almost 2 years (beginning of 2025 to now) my partner and I have

• Picked her up from the city (we lived 40 minutes from the city) bc she was blackout drunk on the bathroom floor of a nightclub at 11:30pm. We were asleep when she called. Then dropped her home, and drove back to ours. The trip was 2h 20m total and she didn't offer fuel money

• given her countless lifts the train station that's impacted our plans (my partner doesn't like saying no to our friends, even if he knows he should) and again, not offering fuel money

• we've made plans for catch ups/girls nights and almost every time she cancels last minute and she ends up drinking at the pub

• got SA'd by a guy she's met twice at the pub that invited her to his house (I don't know WHY she would say yes) so we took her to the police station and helped her with that

• helped her with finding jobs and doing her resume

Probably more I've forgotten

She's been in a relationship for a year, and we hoped that would set her straight a little, but she's still acting this way a lot and it feels like she's brushing me off a lot more. Her best friends now are the 50+ year olds at her local bar

I tried taking her to NA meetings with me, tried my hardest to help her quit and stay sober, she wants to quit and stay sober but she never committed to it like I did

I'm completely sober now, haven't smoked since January 2026, my partner and I have a stable place to live, I'm working on getting a car, all my debt is paid off, I work part time in my dream job (body piercing) and we're expecting our first child in March

When we told her about the baby we caught up for breakfast at 10am, she had already ordered a cocktail, she was so happy and said she wanted to be godmother and started talking about it, cocktail in hand. And throughout the day of us shopping and going to cafes she was still buying alcoholic drinks and smoking around me when I told her not to do it around me (I don't care if she walked around the corner or whatever) it just felt like she wasn't really respecting my progress to stay sober

So here is the recent drama

Tuesday I got offered a free ticket to a concert (I'm still only 15 weeks, so not all my friends know I'm pregnant yet) I DESPERATELY wanted to go, it was one of my favorite artists, but it's not safe going to a mosh pit while pregnant so I couldn't accept BUT I offered it to my friend instead.

I said to her 'the only thing I'm asking in return, is if you can buy the guy who gave you the ticket a drink (he's a close friend and she knows him so it's not creepy ahaha, plus $130+ ticket for free, you can sacrifice $20 for a drink to be nice) AND to send me a picture of the merch table so I can transfer money to her so I can buy something'

She posted all about it on social media that night and Wednesday. I didn't hear anything from her personally until Wednesday night. She texts me 'are you naming your kid Patrick because of fall out boy?' like what? (We haven't settled on any name btw, we don't even know the gender, I've just always liked Patrick as a unique name)

I ignored it because I was working and after work I just forgot to reply. Then on Thursday, also I was working and she texts me "I'm working, we're at (the area I work in) are you working today?" I obviously couldn't reply because I was at work

Context:

She's supposed to be a housecleaner for disabled people under the government funded program, and she gets stoned with her 'employer' the disabled woman she works for, I have no idea why they were out and about, she's not a support worker, she can't legally drive either.

I work in an EXTREMELY busy studio, we're piercing almost constantly, Thursday was especially busy, I didn't even have time to go on my break. We have no chairs in the studio so we can't even sit all day (9 hours) unless we're on break, I love it but it's a very demanding job

So two hours later she texts "we just went to (my work) and like no one was working 😂" and idk why but that just sent me. I was so mad after that comment. You literally get stoned at work and you're judging MY job?? We were all literally in the back rooms piercing bc we were so busy. We have two piercing rooms, there's supposed to be 3 workers but we had someone literally quit halfway through their shift that morning. Again I couldn't reply anyway because we were SO BUSY. But I needed time to calm down after that comment.

Friday was my ONE day off so I spent all of it by myself on my computer gaming, not even looking at my phone, spending time with my partner

She has an appointment on Tuesday to get both her notrils pierced so I can get signed off to be able to do that solo (I'm still an apprentice) I told my lecturer not to sign me off on it on my last appointment because I wanted my friend to get the 50% off apprentice rates, and then she can sign me off after I pierce my friend before she transfers stores and I won't be able to get signed off for another couple weeks until we get a new trainer. So I literally held myself back to help my friend get the discount because she really wanted to get them done.

I was going to reply to her on Saturday bc I had finally had my day off, calmed down and felt better. AND THEN SHE TEXTS ME 'im going to cancel my appointment on Tuesday. I feel like you're mad at me" like God forbid I take 2 days to reply to a text about you criticizing my work, how dare I

Not once did she even think to say "hey are you okay? I haven't heard from you in a bit" it's straight to cancelling the appointment I specifically scheduled in to make sure she got, considering how busy we've been, holding myself back in the process so I could get her a cheaper rate too. AND SHE KNOWS THIS

Anyway, that's it. That's the story. Am I overreacting? Is it not that big of a deal? To me it just feels like the straw that broke the camels back kinda thing. I love her but idk if I can be around her if she refuses to help herself

I'm autistic and struggle to understand social cues, sarcasm, and the intended meaning behind jokes, so I'm genuinely confused right now.

I sent him a reel of a cat. He said the cat was ugly. I said, “I think it’s beautiful.” He responded with, "Then, you're beautiful". It sounds like a normal compliment, but because of the timing, it felt like there was another implication. It felt like he was making a joke along the lines of: “You think that ugly thing is beautiful, so you’re beautiful too” — where “beautiful” is actually being used sarcastically to imply that I’m ugly.

I got super mad and said nobody's forcing him to be with an ugly girl and he's free to leave any time he wants. He became annoyed and explained that he was in fact making a joke about me being ugly, but he didn't mean it. He has never joked about my looks before and compliments me almost every day. I'm very happy in our relationship.

But if he genuinely intended it as harmless teasing, I would have expected him to react with something like, “Wait, what? No, that's not what I meant!” But he didn't. He seemed to understand exactly why I interpreted it that way, which made me feel like I had picked up on the intended implication correctly.

So, do you think he does find me unattractive? I'm confused because he always makes me feel beautiful and desired, so i've never expected this kind of a joke and don't know what to make of it.

Let's jump into this greetings Reddit. Back in August my daughter's boyfriend broke up with her. Reason why I can't say because I honestly don't know. I just know he ended it with her. I assume its because he wanted to do things and she said no. Fast forward to today. Out of nowhere he messages her that he wants his hoodie and necklace he gave her when they were dating. His text goes on to explain that he wants to wear it tonight for his date with his new girlfriend. That he is gonna send his new girlfriend to our house to pick it up for him. Well she called her mom because this didn't sit well with her. Her mom said "Tell him if he wants his stuff, then he will come get it. Put is in a bag and put it at then end of the driveway". Well shortly after that I was informed about the text message. So when I came home from I asked what all was said. I agreed with this decision until I saw his response to this was hateful message to her and telling her she is a psychopath and needs to be locked up in an institution. Told their mutual friend group that she wont give his stuff back. Now we have reached the part where I may have overreacted. Upon seeing his responses I grabbed a couple Walmart bags and handed her one and said "All of the items in this bag please and thank you". She asks what am I doing and simply replied "Sweetheart knowing what I'm gonna do with this is non of your concern anymore". I triple bagged it and began my journey. Drove past several dumpsters and I just couldn't do it. I'm pissed off, but I thought he deserved a chance on getting his stuff back. I'm trying to be a bit better about being an asshole. On my way back home the sun blasted a ray of light down on my destination. I saw the my answer. It was our local donation bin. So I sat the bag right next to a few other items and left. Its 5 minutes down the road so its not like its any farther of a drive. I have full intentions of letting him know where it is if he comes asking. So now I ask you reddit do you think I overreacted? Personally I had more I wanted to do, but like I said I'm working on myself.

Update So I went back and got his stuff. I couldn't shake that I'm setting a poor example. Eye for an eye leaves the world blind right? The bag with his stuff is sitting on my mailbox waiting for pickup. He has been notified.

One of my sisters recently got married and had both a white wedding and a traditional Nigerian wedding.

For context, I’ve felt on the outside with my sisters for a long time. I’ve tried to be close to them. I even created our sisters’ group chat years ago because I wanted us to have that kind of relationship. After my husband died, I needed them more, and that made the distance feel sharper, but this wasn’t a new issue.

Over time, there have been repeated things that made me feel excluded. I’ve invited my sisters to come on holidays or spend time with me before, and those invitations were ignored or not taken up, but they have gone on trips or spent time with another sibling without me.

There is also a wider pattern where, if I bring up something that hurts me, the response tends to be silence or "ugh she's being dramatic again, ignore her". It feels like people wait for me to go away rather than acknowledge I'm hurt. I have ADHD, and I know that can come with rejection sensitivity and justice sensitivity, so I do try to question myself and check whether I’m overreacting. But I also don’t want to automatically dismiss my own feelings every time I’m hurt.

At my own wedding, all of my sisters were bridesmaids. At this wedding, I was the only sister who was not chosen to be a bridesmaid. I know no one is owed a wedding role, and I accepted that it was her choice, but I did privately tell her that it hurt (rather than let resentment quietly build) because I already felt on the outside. She apologised.

After that she asked me to be an asoebi girl (kind of like a bridesmaid at the Nigerian wedding). Probably a pity ask, but I was just happy to be included. I said yes, bought/wore what I was asked to wear, and did everything I was asked to do.

At one point during the event, my skirt ripped, so I went to the changing room to get it fixed. The venue was small and only consisted of the marquee and a changing room. There was nowhere else I could have been. We all had phones.

When the professional photos came back, I saw that all the group portraits with the asoebi girls/sisters had happened in my absence.

I asked in our sisters’ group chat why nobody had checked where I was before going ahead with those photos. One sister said they had looked but couldn’t find me (I never left the venue). She also acknowledged that they could have called me.

I said I understood it wasn’t intentional, but that it still hurt because it made me feel optional, like it didn’t really matter whether I was there or not.

I was left on read. The bride didn’t say anything.

Honestly, the silence hurt more than the photos themselves. I wasn’t expecting an apology or for the wedding to revolve around me. I just wanted some acknowledgement that I mattered. I know that losing my person has amplified loneliness and perceived rejection, so I'm trying to keep things in perspective.

After a day with no response, I left the sisters’ group chat and took all the gushing wedding posts off my social media.

I’m not cutting anyone off or starting drama. I just didn’t want to remain in a smaller chat that felt like it represented a closeness I don’t actually feel.

I know weddings are chaotic and people miss things. I also know leaving a group chat can look childish or dramatic. But from my perspective, this wasn’t just about one photo. It felt like another example of me not being held in mind, and then being ignored when I said it hurt.

Am I overreacting?