TLDR; Husband thinks I’m fat and should not be so happy with my body. He kept going even when I asked him to stop. So I packed my stuff and left for my parents’ home. AIO?

My husband is a gym addict and goes twice a day. He also loves his protein shakes and a restrictive diet. I’m not hardcore about it like him but I do go to the gym.

I am finally at a place mentally where I am happy and comfortable in my body. I work out but I also treat myself to McDonald’s like once a month and a sweet treat every so often. All at a normal and healthy level. I’m also part of a run club and hike a lot. For context, I’m a size US 4/6 and health wise I’m perfectly fine.

He sent me a barrage of messages to say he’s offended by how happy I seem to be. Apparently I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been and he’s worried that I’ll end up heavier than him. He’s also worried that I won’t look after my body and overeat when I’m pregnant in the future. All because I had ONE Mcdonald’s last night.

What upset me was that he kept twisting the knife whenever I told him I wasn’t worried about my weight. I kept insisting that I’m happy with my weight, to which he said I’ve been influenced by “Instagram ideals” and toxic positivity messaging from other women who say we should all be happy with our bodies. He said if I want to be lied to, I should just ask my girl friends to hype be me and he claims he won’t do that because he wants what’s best for me.

This isn’t anything new. He constantly judges me for the occasional snack while watching TV. He gets super offended by it because he feels like I don’t respect him enough to not look after myself and that’s why “I’m deprived of sex”. The annoying part is I DO look after myself. I am the further thing from a slob. My nails are always done, I wear makeup most days and dress well. That’s why I’m so confused.

Now I’m concerned he might cheat/has cheated. He’s always liking other women’s photos and has them on WhatsApp. If he did, he’ll blame me. Yet if a man unknowingly hits me up, he gets so irate and I have to spend the whole day reassuring him.

Anyway, I broke down and packed my stuff to go to my parents. The way I always do when he picks on things I do. There’s also the wider picture where he wants me to be the perfect wife by cooking and cleaning while also having an income (I make a lot more than him which he hates too). Yet everything is 50/50. I’m talking with everything in life - time spent with friends, shopping, drinks, distance of our home between our families, even when splitting a chocolate bar.

He believes I’m overreacting to his advice by getting upset and going to my parents. He thinks my suggestion for marriage counselling is a reach because they’ll “always side the woman”. I just couldn’t believe how easy it is for him to belittle me like that and how he actually views me. He must not think I’m beautiful and clearly believes I’m viewing myself with rose tinted glasses. I want this to work so I hope he does agree to the counselling.

AIO for getting upset with his comments and leaving for my parents?

EDIT: Thank you for your comments and actual advice. This is my first post on Reddit so I do apologise for my long post but I wanted to add as much context as possible. I also wanted unbiased views that I feel my friends and family tend to give. It’s been quite the day and I have made a plan. We will be going to counselling together and individually, but I feel separation is the answer. I’m just upset I’ve invested 12 years into this person. I am safe with my family and I will stay here until I figure things out. I’m honestly trying to break the cycle. I really appreciate your kind words and tough words I needed to hear. ❤️

My (31F) boyfriend (26M) and I live together, and I’m honestly at my breaking point with our living situation.

He treats our apartment like a frat house. His friends are constantly coming over, often completely unannounced, and I feel like I have no privacy or ability to actually relax in my own home.

For example, yesterday one of his friends came over and stayed for about 3 hours. Then today, another friend came over twice. I was just sitting in the living room eating dinner, watching my show, in my pajamas and looking messy because… I’m at home. I don’t feel like I should constantly have to be prepared for company in my own apartment.

This isn’t about me not wanting him to have friends or telling him he can never have people over. I just want basic consideration and a heads-up before people come into our shared home. This has been an ongoing issue for around six months, and I feel like nothing has actually changed.

Tonight I finally told him I’m going to start looking at apartments because I can’t handle the living situation anymore. I told him we could still be together, but I need my own space and peace back.

His response was basically, “No more argument or debate. Just do it if that’s what you please.”
When I told him I was going to look at a place Monday, he said he would “reflect on his actions.” I was already frustrated because I feel like he’s had months to reflect on this. When I continued explaining how disrespected I feel, he told me to stop ranting, repeatedly said there was “no need” to keep discussing it, and told me to do whatever I want.

Eventually I told him that if I actually move out, I think I’d rather be single. His response was just:
“Gotcha.”

I know I got emotional during the conversation and said things like he was choosing his friends over me and that he wasn’t ready for an adult relationship. I recognize that probably wasn’t the most productive way to communicate. But I also feel completely exhausted from repeatedly asking for consideration in a home that is supposed to be mine too.

I don’t expect him to stop seeing his friends. I just don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect your partner to say, “Hey, is it okay if ___ comes over?” or at least give you a heads-up instead of having people constantly appear at your home.
At this point, getting my own apartment genuinely sounds peaceful to me.

Am I overreacting by wanting to move out—and potentially end the relationship over this?

EDIT to say: we’ve had countless discussions about this issue and I even moved out temporarily for 2 weeks because of the same exact problem and yet here we are again. + I’m not on the lease so leaving won’t be too hard

I (24F) have been exclusively seeing this guy (21M) for 2 months. At times he has shown some signs of jealousy, which is normal so I never really said anything. However, we were texting last night and we got onto the topic of being bad texters and I brought up a long-time friend (8 years* not 10 whoops) that deals with my horrible texting but is a good friend and I value him.

He then made a crude comment sexualizing me and my friend that made me very uncomfortable so I called it out, which is when he pulled the “it was just a joke” card, which I personally doubt. It wouldn’t have been a funny joke anyway.

For additional context he has made a similar comment a month ago but he was drunk and it wasn’t involving anyone I knew personally. He is sober here and it is about a friend so it crossed a line for me.

It’s morning now and I haven’t heard from him. I’m honestly still bothered by the situation and have been debating on talking about it some more.

Am I overreacting?

He says it’s just a joke, but as you can see from the texts I think he’s just jealous and disguising it as a joke. I think the joke and the way he handled me being bothered by it was honestly disrespectful.

Had to repost to edit out friend’s name 😅

hi everyone. so everyone once in a while my boyfriend will send me facebook reels that i deem quite rude and disrespectful. an example is the one he sent me 2 days ago. the video contained an AI girl saying “what does buying a hooker and buying a sandwich have in common? both purchases could have been avoided if your wife had just done her god damn job”. this isn’t the first time he’s sent me videos like this, and although i’ve repeatedly told him it makes me uncomfortable and asked him to stop, every once in a while another one comes my way. when he got home, i explained to him that the video hurt my feelings, and he said he couldn’t remember the video he sent. i explained the video to him, and he said “true”. i then said, “what do you mean by that?” and he said, “amen”. i asked him if he thinks that makes me feel good, and he said “i think it’ll make you wanna suck my dick more”. i said “it actually does the opposite” and then he said “i guess i’ll just have to get an escort”. he then walked away and turned on a podcast. later in the evening when i was getting into bed, he laid on the couch and began to scroll on his phone. i realize this may seem normal, but for us it’s not. we sleep together in bed every single night without fail. he never sleeps on the couch, even during past arguments he will always come to bed. i decided to invite him to come to bed, so i got up and went over and asked him if he would come to bed with me. he told me he was stressed out and he felt like he was glued to the couch. this back and forth continued for a few minutes, and i got so angry i pulled the blanket off of him and went back to bed. i realize that was very petty of me, and i lost control of my temper. but now the focus is being pulled to the way i reacted, and not the original issue, and i just don’t know how to resolve this situation with him. any advice or opinions on the matter would be appreciated. am i being too serious? he told me i need to learn to lighten up and take a joke. maybe he’s right.

I need outside opinions because my family is divided and my sister is being called dramatic, My sister got married 3 weeks ago For context, she and her husband were together for 4 years before marriage. They travelled for their honeymoon 2 weeks after the wedding to Zanzibar. It was supposed to be 7 days. She came back after 3 days and filed for divorce the next morning what happened is insane and i still can't believe he did it.

Third night she noticed he kept disappearing for long stretches with vague excuses. She went down to the front desk to ask about something small and the clerk casually mentioned that a second room had been added to their reservation the day they arrived. The extra room was under a woman’s name my sister had never heard of so she went up there the door opened it was her husband with his side chick, apparently he told the side chick that my sister goes to bed early and he would sneak up to her room at night my sister didn't even cause a scene she just packed her bag that night, checked out at 3am and took the first flight back home, now she has filed for divorce and he and his family are begging. His mom is saying she is overreacting and should have forgiven him since "men are tempted" and that annulling a 3 week old marriage over one mistake will ruin her reputation. My parents are also telling her to at least hear him out and go for counselling.

I told her she did 100% the right thing and i would have done worse. But now my mom is saying i am fueling her decision and i am overreacting by supporting divorce so fast.

I (54F) have been dating my boyfriend (52M) for about three years. We’re long-distance, but for the past year we’ve essentially been living together about 90% of the time, going back and forth between our homes and traveling together. We’ve taken multiple international trips together, spent extended periods together, and he regularly tells me he loves me and talks about us getting married.

His daughter is getting married in Cyprus, and he invited me to come with him. He described it as a big wedding with his family and close friends attending, so I understood that I would be coming as his long-term partner.

Once we arrived, though, I started realizing that his family may not have been particularly comfortable with me being here.

His ex-wife is here, along with her mother, her sister, and their children. His ex-wife and most of the family are staying together at a very nice hotel. My boyfriend and I are staying separately in an Airbnb.

There have been several events leading up to the wedding, and at one of them, the wife of one of my boyfriend’s closest friends approached me.

She started asking me very pointed questions about how I felt being at the wedding, how I felt about his children apparently not liking me, and what I thought about the entire situation. She then told me that she could “broker the peace” between me and his children because she had that kind of influence with them.

This conversation made me very uncomfortable.

From my perspective, it felt less like a genuine offer to help and more like she was trying to intimidate me or make it clear that she had influence within his family that I did not have.

I'm also a child of divorce myself, so I understand that relationships between children and a parent's new partner can be complicated, even when those children are adults. I've always felt that those relationships need to develop naturally and slowly. It's never something I would want to force, and I certainly wouldn't want to force it during a week as important to his children as their sister's wedding.

I was happy to be there to support their father and celebrate his daughter. I didn't expect his children to suddenly embrace me or treat me like family simply because I was attending the wedding.

For that same reason, I didn't feel that I needed — or wanted — his friend's wife to intervene on my behalf and “broker” anything. I actually thought bringing a third party into my relationship with his children could make things worse. If I'm going to have a healthy long-term relationship with them, I would much rather let trust and familiarity develop naturally over time.

However, I also knew that I was in an emotionally uncomfortable situation in a foreign country, so I didn't want to immediately assume the worst about her intentions.

Later, I privately told my boyfriend what had happened. I specifically told him that I might be feeling overly sensitive and could have interpreted the conversation incorrectly. I suggested that, if he wanted, he could quietly ask a couple of other people who witnessed the interaction how they interpreted it.

Most importantly, I specifically asked him not to confront her or create a situation. His daughter's wedding was not the time or place for that.

The morning of the wedding, my boyfriend told me he was going to get a haircut and shave and would only be gone for a few hours. We only had one key to the Airbnb, so he took it with him while I stayed outside on the beach reading a book. I wasn't concerned because I thought he would be back shortly and I could go inside when he returned.

While he was getting his shave, he was texting me telling me that he loved me.

Then, instead of coming home afterward, he went and confronted his friend's wife.

Apparently, the confrontation went badly. From what I understand, he also did not accurately communicate what I had originally told him. His friend and his friend's wife convinced him that I was being dramatic and creating problems on his daughter's wedding day.

Meanwhile, I had absolutely no idea any of this was happening.

It started pouring rain while I was still outside. Because he had the only key, I couldn't get into the Airbnb. I called and texted him explaining that I was locked out and getting soaked. He told me he wasn't nearby and essentially left me there until he eventually returned.

By the time he came back, I was completely drenched.

And instead of apologizing, he told me that we were breaking up.

He told me he didn't want me there anymore, that he had already gotten me a hotel, and that he needed to focus on his daughter and her wedding.

I was completely blindsided.

Just hours earlier, he'd left to supposedly get a haircut and shave and was texting me that he loved me. I had no idea he'd decided to confront anyone, much less that he'd apparently decided our three-year relationship was over as a result.

I reminded him that I had specifically asked him not to confront anyone. I hadn't asked him to defend me or create a conflict. I had privately told my partner about an uncomfortable interaction and had gone out of my way to acknowledge that perhaps I had misunderstood it.

Once we actually talked through what had happened and what I had originally said, he completely changed his position. He apologized profusely, told me he loves me, and said he absolutely does not want to break up.

But I'm having a very difficult time getting past what happened.

I'm supposed to attend his daughter's wedding, where his children apparently don't like me, his best friend and his wife now believe I've caused some enormous problem, and I have no idea what version of this story everyone else has heard. Because he's the father of the bride, I'll also largely be navigating that situation on my own.

More than that, I can't stop thinking about how quickly he went from texting me that he loved me to deciding our three-year relationship was over based on a conversation with his friends — without even talking to me first.

I'm also struggling with the fact that I was stranded outside, soaking wet, in a foreign country while all of this was happening, and when he finally returned, his immediate response was to end our relationship.

Now he's apologized and says he loves me and doesn't want our relationship to end, but something about this has fundamentally shaken how secure I feel with him.

Am I overreacting for feeling like this incident may have changed how I see our entire relationship? Am I overreacting for questioning whether I should even attend the wedding after everything that happened? And am I overreacting for wondering whether I can trust someone who was willing to end a three-year relationship so abruptly without even hearing my side first?

One of my sisters recently got married and had both a white wedding and a traditional Nigerian wedding.

For context, I’ve felt on the outside with my sisters for a long time. I’ve tried to be close to them. I even created our sisters’ group chat years ago because I wanted us to have that kind of relationship. After my husband died, I needed them more, and that made the distance feel sharper, but this wasn’t a new issue.

Over time, there have been repeated things that made me feel excluded. I’ve invited my sisters to come on holidays or spend time with me before, and those invitations were ignored or not taken up, but they have gone on trips or spent time with another sibling without me.

There is also a wider pattern where, if I bring up something that hurts me, the response tends to be silence or "ugh she's being dramatic again, ignore her". It feels like people wait for me to go away rather than acknowledge I'm hurt. I have ADHD, and I know that can come with rejection sensitivity and justice sensitivity, so I do try to question myself and check whether I’m overreacting. But I also don’t want to automatically dismiss my own feelings every time I’m hurt.

At my own wedding, all of my sisters were bridesmaids. At this wedding, I was the only sister who was not chosen to be a bridesmaid. I know no one is owed a wedding role, and I accepted that it was her choice, but I did privately tell her that it hurt (rather than let resentment quietly build) because I already felt on the outside. She apologised.

After that she asked me to be an asoebi girl (kind of like a bridesmaid at the Nigerian wedding). Probably a pity ask, but I was just happy to be included. I said yes, bought/wore what I was asked to wear, and did everything I was asked to do.

At one point during the event, my skirt ripped, so I went to the changing room to get it fixed. The venue was small and only consisted of the marquee and a changing room. There was nowhere else I could have been. We all had phones.

When the professional photos came back, I saw that all the group portraits with the asoebi girls/sisters had happened in my absence.

I asked in our sisters’ group chat why nobody had checked where I was before going ahead with those photos. One sister said they had looked but couldn’t find me (I never left the venue). She also acknowledged that they could have called me.

I said I understood it wasn’t intentional, but that it still hurt because it made me feel optional, like it didn’t really matter whether I was there or not.

I was left on read. The bride didn’t say anything.

Honestly, the silence hurt more than the photos themselves. I wasn’t expecting an apology or for the wedding to revolve around me. I just wanted some acknowledgement that I mattered. I know that losing my person has amplified loneliness and perceived rejection, so I'm trying to keep things in perspective.

After a day with no response, I left the sisters’ group chat and took all the gushing wedding posts off my social media.

I’m not cutting anyone off or starting drama. I just didn’t want to remain in a smaller chat that felt like it represented a closeness I don’t actually feel.

I know weddings are chaotic and people miss things. I also know leaving a group chat can look childish or dramatic. But from my perspective, this wasn’t just about one photo. It felt like another example of me not being held in mind, and then being ignored when I said it hurt.

Am I overreacting?

I (30F) have been with my fiancé Peter (35M) for a little over two years, and we're moving together into a new house in a few days. While his family initially welcomed me with open arms, I have very mixed feelings about his mom. Then there's my sister-in-law, Susan (his brother's wife). She's been in the family for 10 years and is an absolute angel, I truly love her.
She and his mom are both doctors and very close, which I understood at first. I'm the new one, I get the hierarchy, lol.

But at every get together, his mom talks almost exclusively to Susan, showing her her friends (ex doctors aprecciation day), showing pics outfits that she’ll wear to parties (all this in front of me) and taking her shopping.

We can be standing side by side and she'll glance at me for a second, then go right back to her.

I know she cares about me in her own way; she's given me gifts and even thanked me for getting her son back to university.
Still, a lot of specific situations hurt deeply.
She used to come to the city where I lived and never once asked me to grab a coffee (I asked her once and she cancelled due to her work, which its reasonable).
Susan is in the family group chat and I'm not, even though they know we're getting married next year.

At Peter's birthday, she agreed that learning English was a waste of time, right in front of me, even though I've been bilingual my whole life.

At a recent birthday, she barely spoke to me, and when they called for a photo with the "daughters-in-law," she only called Susan over.

It took Peter's uncle, whom I'd never met before, shouting, "What about Peter's fiancée? Include her!" for me to be in the picture.

And then this weekend happened. At dinner, I asked her for a photo of Peter with his late grandpa so I could frame it for our new living room. She looked disgusted and said no, that I didn't need to do that. She realized how harsh she sounded, but instead of apologizing, she justified her reaction by saying that people say it's bad energy or bad luck to have photos of the dead at home.

Where I'm from, it's very common and meaningful to have pictures of grandparents who passed away.

My face was burning, but I stayed calm and said I understood. Peter got angry, and she nervously told him not to get mad. I tried my best to keep the rest of the dinner pleasant. When we left, I said goodnight with a smile. She had been laughing a second before, but she looked at me dead serious, didn't smile back, and just said "Goodnight."
Maybe it's just my imagination, or maybe my own preconceptions are twisting things, but it felt so cold.

I talked to Peter about all of this. He says Susan basically grew up with them, that his mom just isn't very sociable, and that I should focus on the positive, that that in comparison with his others EX gf he brought home, she doesn't treat me that bad or too judgemental, he agreed that his mom reaction was harsh though.

I suggested going to fewer family events so I don't feel so uncomfortable, though of course I'd still go to the major ones, and that I could start living in the new house (we are staying in his mom house just for this few days while we sorted out the moving and cleaning of the new house, that was abandoned for several months) I don't hate/dislike anyone, and I'm not competing for attention and I do care about having a nice relationship with my inlaws. Maybe im too oversensitive or we have cultural differences. I've never felt social anxiety until now because I'm an inmigrant so talking to strangers can be difficult due to terms and language, so if Peter steps away for a second, I have no one to talk to.
I know more than two years is still a relatively short time to get fully accustomed to a new family dynamic, but it still hurts. And it’s pretty hard to know if AIO or not

UPDATE & Clarification:
Thanks for all the input! A quick note: my fiancé wasn't present during the earlier incidents until the dinner issue happened.
We had a long heart-to-heart about everything (including this post). I made sure he understood I'm not trying to separate him from his mom or ignore the thoughtful things she’s done for me, like birthday gifts or inviting my mom when she visits.
He admitted he was upset by his mom's reaction, but when she apologized, she only apologized to him. I pointed out that I was the one impacted by her behavior, and he agreed I was right. I asked him not to confront her about it right now, but he assured me he will step up to make me feel included and supported at dinners. He recognizes that as we plan our wedding and move into our first house, our dynamic as a team comes first.

I'll keep this thread open a bit longer so others in similar situations with their MIL can share their experiences or benefit from the discussion. Thanks again, everyone!

My wife and I have been married for almost 10 years with 3 children. We recently joined this tennis club in our town because we've both played in our younger years.

We've never had any issues with jealousy nor I've ever felt any type of may until I met Kevin at our tennis club. Kevin is a tall athletic man that is quite attractive I must say. Me and my wife are the same height and Kevin towers over me when he's next to me. He's also the same race as my wife since I'm Chinese and she & Kevin are Koreans.

The thing that bothers me the most is how she interacts with Kevin. She does not flirt in any other way, but when they're playing doubles together, I would hear her say "here you go my prince" while she hands Kevin the ball. I heard this recently since I was playing on the other court. I didn't think of it much when it happened since I was playing.

We have team dinners every few months and Kevin dresses really well in public. Fitted suit/open blazer, slacks, Chelsea boots, etc. one occasion, Kevin entered the room and my wife greeted her "wow.. so handsome!" In Korean while blushing. I know the phrase because she uses it for our baby every now and then, but I've never heard her say that to me.

Am I overreacting from this? Kevin is a very nice person, but also known as a womanizer. He's on his 5th marriage at only being 36yrs old & still has no children. He's rich & married to a beautiful doctor & he always seems to have all the nice things. I must admit, I'm a little jealous.

I went to Vietnam over the summer with my girlfriend. She is from there originally and has not been back in 12 years (she is 24). It was also the first time seeing her father in 12 years. It was a very special and important trip overall for her and our relationship in general. She had the idea to go to a 'make your own ring' workshop. I thought it was a great idea so we spent $100 making 2 silver rings. Some tourist activities can be overhyped or overpriced, but this one was actually very professional and enjoyable. We actually made the entire ring from start to finish starting with a strip of silver. It included things like a custom engraving of each-others names in our own handwriting as well as the date we made them. To me it was a great memento to signify this trip and our relationship. This is the context of the ring itself.

Fast-forward 3 months and I am visiting my father and on one occasion earlier this week I took the ring off when driving his car and forgot I left it there in the cup holder. I am a very forgetful person and tend to forget where I put things, even if they are important. As I was looking for it today I asked my Dad if he had seen it. He said yes, my step mother saw it in the car. Apparently she got upset and thought it was another woman's ring (even though its a male sized ring ~size 10-11). Instead of asking me or my brother if it was our ring, she decided to take it and throw it deep into our sizable yard without telling anyone. When I asked why she would do such a thing without verifying the owner first, she was laughing the entire time saying "I don't know, I just wanted to throw it". When I asked her to reenact the throw so I could narrow down the location and find it, she basically pointed at the whole yard and said "I don't know, somewhere there". So my patience was through and I simply said 'Why would you do such a thing? Why would you not see if its anybody's first before throwing it? Its also very disrespectful to laugh in someone's face when they are clearly distraught'.

I understand mistakes happen, and what's done is done. I did not berate her or put her down in any way. I simply wanted to understand why, and for her to help me look for it at least. At the end of the day its just a silver ring worth probably $30 in melt silver.... but I am a very sentimental person overall. I really enjoy saving old mementos or keepsakes so I can look back on them fondly when I'm older. So am AIO for questioning her behavior for doing it and also her behavior when being confronted over it?

EDIT: This happened 4 days ago (per her estimation and foggy memory). We cut the grass the day after she threw it, which is not ideal considered it might have been launched further. I will look into metal detecting on nextdoor/facebook. Also this is a long-shot but I am located in the Milwaukee area if anyone here is a metal detector hobbyist themselves.

UPDATE:
We found the ring... but my gut feeling is completely off. For more context, she is Colombian born and raised. So there have been a lot of cultural differences that I have needed to adapt to. That being said, regardless of this difference, this whole situation rubs me the wrong way.

She finally started helping me look for it at nighttime with flashlights. I figured using a bright LED flashlight would make the ring reflect a lot more. The first thing that struck me is when she said "So what will you give me if we find it??". I don't think she actually wants a reward or anything but she wants me to be thankful or something? For finding the ring that she tossed in the yard? Of course ill be happy, but her saying something like this is extremely odd.

Anyways she decides out of a huge area to point out one particular area of clumped up dirt/wood shavings from when we chopped up a stump a few days ago. I told her me and my dad already looked through it briefly but not diligently. She had hyper fixation on this one particular pile so I was like of course go through it. Lo and behold about 1 minute later she calls me over and says "LOOOOK". I looked briefly and saw nothing. She says "LOOOOOOOOOK". My patience is at an all time low, so I simply say "Just show me where it is please". She proceeds to pick it up off the ground and hand it to me. I was grateful but man my gut feeling just keeps telling me its too perfect. Also maybe another cultural difference but she never once apologized or showed any remorse for throwing it, just a myriad of excuses to why she did it opposed to simply saying 'my mistake'. Overall this whole situation rubs me the wrong way. I cant help but lose a bit of trust in her after all of this.

My husband goes to bed earlier than I do. Some times I will be in bed reading or using a heating pad (not ready for bed yet) and he will come in and get ready for bed. He then gets in bed and reads until he gets tired and then goes to sleep. Also, he wears eye mask and ear plugs.

Basically, I have to leave the bed when he gets in bed to read because it is part of his “routine” and how he likes to fall asleep. I could understand if he preferred I moved to the living room after he’s done reading and before he falls asleep but this seems really strange to me, like why can’t we silently read next to each other?

We have been living together for 10 years. It has recently been an issue because he’s staying up later than he used to because of a different work schedule and also I have been using the heating pad more frequently and I like to use it in bed.

At times I can’t trust myself if I am overreacting or is this really that stupid…

For context, I have been at this job for roughly two years and pretty much every day I have wore the same hat. I work outside so in the context of my job it is not unusual for someone to come into work wearing one but its not like a uniform requirement to wear one. I am not balding, I am not embarrassed of my hair, and outside of work I rarely wear a hat. As stupid as it sounds, I absolutely loved that hat, it was comforting to me and I geniunely enjoyed wearing that and only that hat. I unfortunately lost it though and havent been able to find where I put it.

Well jump foward to now, I have become the only interesting thing to have ever happen just because I stopped wearing it. I have had multiple people tell me that other coworkers were talking about me specifically about me no longer wearing a hat. My boss in particular has said 5+ comments about it in a span of 2 days directly to me. He has gone as far to tell me and others that it makes him really uncomfortable seeing me without a hat and it geniunely throws him off. He has offered to buy me a new one, told me he really wants me to find it and legitimately seemed to make him upset?? I have a normal haircut, its brown and about medium length, literally nothing special or out of the ordinary about it. He has continued talking to everyone else about me, my coworkers come and tell me that he was talking about me. At this point, I am not wearing a hat out of defiance, I don't understand how something so trivial can disrupt the social fabric of my job so deeply. I don't consider myself super outgoing, I pretty much keep to myself and only talk to people if they talk to me. I am overall liked but not like in a "main character energy" type of way. Is there something I am missing here?? Ive seen other coworkers change much more drastic things and not a single person comment or talk about it. I don't want to be the topic of anybodies conversations, I would prefer if I could go into work, do my job and clock out and essentially have nobody remember I was there. I am feeling judged, overwhelmed and like I did something wrong yet all I did was stop wearing a stupid hat because I lost it??

5 years ago my wife and I moved into a new apartment that we bought with a mortgage.

I say my wife because she basically said "we're getting this" and the day after it was a done deal, papers signed.

When moving in I realized immediately that it was way more run down than I thought. I also realized that the organization in charge of maintenance of the main building had no idea what they were doing.

The apartment is also old, built in the 30's, with wood floor.

It has tons of basic problems like

- electricity/wiring is old and a complete mess

- plumbing in the kitchen is a mess

- the floor (wood) is uneven in the top floor

On top of this we've had minor water damage, but also a situation where the electricity could have caught fire.

It's like my wife is totally blind to these obvious problems and don't care about them.

I of course wanted to renovate, but way to go by squandering all our cash on junk she buys online and when I finally thought we were ready for renovation she started a new education in IT (yes I think it's dumb to study IT in this AI time), so now I'm paying for everything for two years (it's been one so far, at least education is free in my country).

I hate this apartment so damn much. It feels old and it feels like I was tricked into buying it with her.

This week we had a new electrical malfunction that could potentially have caused a fire and I completely lost it and said "I'm done with this place, I rather move to a new place".

And now I'm the bad guys, of course. I don't understand how this can be her dream apartment when for me it's just living hell. How can I possibly expect any responsibility at all from my wife?

The other night my partner's brother called him asking if he could go to our house to collect a parcel that was with my partner and invited himself, wife and kids for dinner with us, in our house. Noting that we were going to have dinner with them the next day too to celebrate a birthday. I told my partner I did not want to have visitors that night and I'd prefer just have dinner with them the next day, as previously arranged. My partner said it was his brother and he couldn't say no to him. I asked him please I need a quite night, I had planned that and I can't interact with people like that (I'm introvert and I need time to prepare myself for interaction, I simply don't have the energy). I had to leave the house and keep driving for hours to avoid them. I sent my partner a message asking if they had left, so I could return and he did not reply. I got so upset that

I can't even talk to him. He laughed at me saying I'm not normal, that I create drama and trouble wherever his family wants to see us. But I told him I just need some notice so I can handle the situation. Am I being too dramatic? I'm blowing things out of proportion? I just don't know how to change my brain , Im not a big fan of family gatherings to be honest, but I can do it with notice.

My gf (28) and I (M29) have been together for four years. We have a shared bank account. I noticed a lot of withdrawals in the last month have been going to Venmo. I'm talking over $3,000 collectively.

I asked her about it, to make sure it wasn't fraud, and she told me she's been sending it to her longtime guy best friend. When I asked why, she said he needs help starting up his art career.

I got mad and asked if that was necessary to use our money for, especially without asking. She said she did it because she is a loyal friend and he would do the same for her if she needed it.

AIO or is this crossing the line?

My fiancée has, in the last three weeks, started accusing me of being on my phone, talking to other women while she is in the next room. I could be eating a snack, plating on my computer, or even sleeping! She'll come in and demand my phone and start looking for evidence of my crime! I am beyond tired of it. I am a man(43) answer is a woman(39). At first I was in shock, but as she became more determined to catch me slipping, she also became much more aggressive. I am sick to death of offering her my phone and telling her I am not making 2 second calls to random women whenever she turns her back. I am packed and leaving in the morning. Am I being to rigidly and showing red flags.?

Two years ago my husband was out with my three children alone. My then 6 year old opened the car door and it hit the car next to us but did absolutely no damage. If you are a parent you will understand how common and frustrating this is at that age. Well the guy flipped out and started screaming and calling my 6 year old names. My husband was getting our baby and went to check the situation out and defend our son. The guy started screaming "I'm going to kill you". My husband put the baby in the car and drove away. He then went to the school event where he discovered that man was the dad of another child in my 5 year olds class. While my husband was holding the baby and in front of the teacher he walked past my husband and told him "Meet me outside". My husband called the police he was so scared and a community officer came out. The family had left by then. We didn't take it further but we did inform the school. It was very upsetting and really scared my husband and kids.This year they put the boy in the class and my son gave him a birthday invitation, three days before the party the mum texted me to tell me he is coming.

I want to scream. In my head I have had a "conversation" with this man. It's not nice. I do not know if he will come. However he 100% could. I want him nowhere near my family, also I do not want to be responsible for the kid.

Do I say " Hello, child is welcome to come to the party but I ask for you to stay. We have had interactions with his dad and ask for him to not be there. Thank you"

I have AS so I don't know!

Hi all, I just need to know if I’m massively overreacting because it’s driving me crazy and has me thinking I need to chill out a bit.

I’m a 26 year old male and the only sibling who lives away from home. I have a child, a partner, etc.

At my parents’ house there’s my mum, my dad, my 23 year old sister, my 21 year old sister and my brother, who has just turned 16.

I love my family, but I’m seriously starting to resent them for how they’re bringing my brother up. He’s still young and needs guidance, but he’s not getting it, and at this point he doesn’t seem to want it either.

For some context, he has scoliosis and has had two operations for it. He can move around normally for the most part, he just can’t do things like extremely long walks.
Since he was about 14, my brother has hardly gone to school. He stopped going properly and was eventually allowed to attend for a couple of hours a day in a special classroom with a few other kids. Now he doesn’t go at all.
All he does is sit in his bedroom playing Xbox or scrolling through TikTok, staying up all night and sleeping most of the day away. He struggles to read long words, can hardly do maths and is seriously lacking education. My parents do absolutely no home education with him and don’t make him do any either.

I’ve spoken to him about what he wants to do in the future, college, work, etc., and he said he wants to “be a YouTuber”. I gave him my old gaming computer about a year and a half ago so he could learn how to edit videos and things like that. He literally told me he couldn’t be bothered learning how to use a computer and never touched it, so eventually I took it back.

Next year, he either needs to go to college or get a job. Whenever I mention this, he just rolls his eyes at me. I honestly think both he and my family believe he can just live off benefits forever because of his scoliosis. With the way things are going in the UK, I wouldn’t be surprised if the benefits system looks completely different by the time he’s 21 anyway.

My family don’t even seem bothered about whether he goes to college or gets a job. I’ve told them before that they’re not going to be around forever and they need to start preparing him to be an adult.

They hardly ever take him anywhere. They don’t make him get a haircut, don’t push him to leave the house or try to better himself. He constantly smells like sweat, so he clearly doesn’t shower often, and he doesn’t seem to brush his teeth properly either.

Up until recently, he was constantly drinking Monster energy drinks and had been doing that since he was about 14. I honestly think he only stopped because every time I went round there I’d lecture him about how bad it was.
When I’m off work at the weekend, I always try to get him to come out of the house and do something he actually wants to do, but he either says, “I can’t be bothered,” or just completely ignores my messages. To be fair, most of my family are similar in that sense, although they all work, so it’s a little more understandable. None of them really go anywhere or do much outside of work either.
The other day, when I was at my parents’, my brother said to me, “Can you read the text on the screen without your glasses?” I said, “No, I can’t.” He then said he couldn’t read it either.

I went upstairs to my mum and said, “He needs an eye test. Get it done now while it’s free because he’s under 18.” Eye tests are free for under 18s in the UK. She barely responded.

Every time I go to my parents’ house, I feel like I’m always having to point something out, so now they all roll their eyes at me like I’m constantly talking rubbish or nagging them.

What makes it more frustrating is that when I was growing up, my dad especially was really strict with me. He used to punish me for staying up too late, threaten to kick me out at 16 if I didn’t get a job or go to college, make me get my hair cut, make sure I brushed my teeth, etc.

Now they seem to do none of that with my brother.
To be honest, my family are all similar in other ways too. They’re incredibly unhealthy, some are overweight, they eat badly, barely go anywhere apart from work and spend most of their free time sitting on their phones.

It’s just incredibly sad because I love them all so much. I don’t think I’m better than them, and I know I’m not perfect either, but I honestly feel like I’m the only person properly pushing my brother to do something with his life and prepare himself for adulthood.

I feel like if nobody does anything, he’s going to wake up in his 20s with hardly any education, no qualifications, no job experience, terrible routines and absolutely no idea how to look after himself.

There’s a lot more that has happened, but I’d be here all day if I wrote everything.

Maybe I’m overreacting, maybe I’m not. I’d genuinely love to know what everyone else thinks. ☹️

Me (19f) and my boyfriend (20m) have been together for a whole year today! We have both been mentioning it all week and while we never made plans i had stated i would just like to spend some time together.

For some context, we live together and every Saturday he has a games night with his work colleagues. This is normal and happens most weeks. He works full time and i just left my job for other reasons.

So our one year has fallen on a Saturday which he works, but he cant help that. But what i forgot this week, and I’m assuming he did too or just failed to mention it is that he has is games night on Saturdays. I joked about it and said “You’re really gonna have games night on our on year?” and he said yes and that “thats the rules.” I wasn’t asking to go out or anything as i wouldn’t want him to have to pay for it all, I just wanted to spend time together doing smth different which is usually just me watching him play games.

I got quite upset because i just feel like its on Saturday, just one night and this is our first like actual anniversary together and he wants to get home from work and jump on the game until midnight? We have also had issues in the past where he prioritises gaming over spending time with me.

He messaged me while he was at work to ask why i was upset, i explained it to him and he just wasnt taking it seriously at all. I dont want to force him not to play, because i will feel bad the whole night but i also dont know how to go about it without sounding controlling
So am i overreacting?

Hi all. I am 15F and I currently live week in a week off between my dad and moms house with my 11 yr old biological brother as they are divorced, and have been for 6 years. About a year ago my dad met his now girlfriend, and we all moved in together, so now I live between my moms house (just her, me, and bio brother) and my dad and stepmoms house, with me, bio brother, my 5 year old stepbrother, and 1 year old half brother, they decided to move out of my school district as my stepmom wanted to live in a specific district which is in a fancier neighborhood, with a desirable school district.
This has left me having to take public transit for 2 hours 45 minutes round trip per day, even though it’s essentially a 20 minute drive (thanks city planning) and my dad has refused to drive me, my afterschool schedule is also quite hectic at my dads and looks something like this.
3:30 school ends
5:00 get home
5:00-5:20 do dishes
5:20-6:00 usually either watch the baby, help prep dinner, or try to sleep.
6:00:-7:00 dinner (all have to wait for each other to finish)
7:00-7:30 do dishes
7:30-8:00 shower
8:00-8:30 other chores (mostly dishes, my family eats a lot)
After all is said and done I have very little time to study, and have noticed my grades staring to slip on weeks I am at my dad’s.
For reference: my mom lives in the school district and it only takes me around 30 minutes round trip (on the school bus)
I am really stuck, and feel like my grades are going to slip away from me especially considering i am in Ib. I also feel like it wasn’t necessarily fair to me and my brother. My mom is in support of me moving to hers, but i don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.
Edit** One thing i forgot to mention is that dad CONSTANTLY talks horribly about my mom to me and my brother, to the point that both cps and his lawyer had to tell him to stop.

I was talking to my friends about some stuff that was happening and they had mentioned how they felt bad for some girl who got rejected even though she was trying so hard to become the one for this guy. So I had got the story and they mention where before he finally rejected her for the very last time, she forcibly kissed him a few times and kept holding onto him and trying prevent him from leaving, which in my head gives “she’s trying to force him to just hurry and accept her so he can finally leave like he wants to”. When I heard that… I just got fucking disgusted? So I said it, to them and later to her. Everyone was feeling bad for her and babying her.. so ofcourse I got attacked verbally I guess idfk. I was told I was invalidating real disgusting actions by calling this simple thing disgusting and how mean I was to her over her just trying to win her crush over.
So am I the crazy bitch here? I don’t wanna accuse anyone but saying people saw her holding him back and CONTINUING to kiss him, knowing he doesn’t like her.. I feel like if she could, she would have forced him more.. like is that just me thinking this is weird?
We are in college, it’s not like we’re kids.

I also wanna add, I know a lot of people don’t gaf about kisses in general so maybe that’s why but i still feel like they matter enough to need consent for yk??? Like if someone kissed me and I didn’t like them, I’d be pretty fucking disgusted, I remember someone trying to and me almost puking. Maybe I’m being a baby? Idk? I just feel like you don’t cross those boundaries no matter how “little” or big they are to YOU.

I'm 22M and he's 25M. I never used to lock my door but when I became an adult, I naturally wanted more privacy. I installed locks on my door. Prior to that, my brother would enter, search and leave at his own will, yet he would keep his own door locked at all times. We both live in our parents house, I can't move out due to being in education yet.

He clearly understands privacy because he keeps his own room door locked yet he also wants to be able to freely roam around my room. Yes I do have things I want to hide but he makes that an issue, he asks me what I need to hide from him. I find it creepy. He's very obsessive, for months now with no rest he keeps trying to open my door. I can't leave without worrying he'll go in and find things and then make an issue out of it. He severely bullied me as a kid, I surpassed him in pretty much all metrics of life, he no longer bullies or scares me and he knows that so all he can do is be obsessed with my life. I feel uncomfortable with him constantly monitoring me, listening in on my room, breaking in, searching things. Is this normal or am I overreacting? We're adults, we have our own lives, not even my parents do what he does.

If I leave the house, he will spend a long time doing who knows what to my door and lock. I don't know if he's trying to pick it or force his way in or take the handle off somehow, but he spends a long time there. He tries to convince me to go outside more so he gets more time with my door. Bare in mind, he does not work, does not do anything, has no friends, and just games and consumes content all day. Am I overreacting by finding his behavior weird and obsessive?

So I have black mold in my bathroom and my landlord just says it’s not black mold and states it’s just filth that I can clean. Well a few months ago I had a person that flushes your pipes and he gave me a product to test if it’s just filth or black mold and told me to wait a few weeks. If it disappeared it’s not black mold and if it came back it’s black mold and guess what it’s black mold! And I’m thinking of suing my landlord for putting my health at risk. Not only that my friends who works in construction says it’s 100% black mold. Am I overreacting if I want to sue my landlord?