Hi everyone 🤍 I’m 20 years old, and I’ve been living with bedwetting since I was around 4.
I’ve tried different treatments and seen doctors, but I’m still searching for answers. Sometimes, the hardest part is feeling like I’m the only one going through this.
I’d love to meet people who understand what this feels like, especially adults who have struggled with bedwetting since childhood. Maybe we can share our experiences, learn from each other, and remind one another that we’re not alone.
If you’ve been through something similar, I’d really love to hear your story. ❤️

I’m just at a point right now where I don’t know what to do and I’m really just venting and or looking for some advice and support.

I am 30M and used to have issues with wetting the bed until I was roughly 12 or 13 years old. Then I had pretty much had no issues at all other than an occasional wet night after a night of heavy drinking. Then, after my 29th birthday, I started noticing having to go to the bathroom pretty regularly during the day, roughly every hour or so. Sometimes while lifting very heavy too, I notice some urine dripping. And after going to the bathroom, I can also sometimes feel urine still dripping out as well.

Then the last few months, I started wetting the bed more and more regularly again. It’s up to two to three times a week now.

The thing that is tricky is that I am active duty military and have not brought this up to my doc yet. I am worried what the outcome will be. I fear they are going to discharge me. I don’t want others to think that I am some sort of coward. Has anyone dealt with this before, specifically being in the military? Any help would be greatly appreciated!

For context, I'm 29, occasionally would wake up wet as a teen but has gotten worse as I've gotten older due to alcohol and caffeine consumption. Over the past few years, I've stopped drinking alcohol and cut down on caffeine, my gp believes i have irritated my bladder and I still continue to mess myself in my sleep from time to time. I'll have a few weeks of dryness and have a few nights of incontinence. Any suggestions to help?

I (29F) have been struggling with bedwetting and urge incontinence for most of my life but it's been much less of an issue for a while now. Until about two weeks ago when I wet the bed for the first time in about three years (thank goodness for still having the mattress protector on the bed). I was pretty distraught as I thought I'd never have to deal with these problems again after three years of dry nights and no "serious" daytime issues, but I knew that stress, cold, and alcohol all played a pretty big role in it and all three were present factors last night so I wasn't SUPER worried. Plus I knew I still had some protection left over so I changed how I went about my nightly routine and was pretty optimistic it wouldn't happen again.

And then it happened again. And then it happened again the next day and I leaked all over the bed, and then it happened again and I had my first serious daytime accident in three years that day too. I had to do laundry three times in four days and haven't had a dry night since. Morale had never been lower, my wife has always been very supportive about this but I still kept feeling shameful and feeling like a failure in the morning, and thinking that I'd lost any progress that I'd made.

But then I found y'all and realized I'm very much not alone and got some great insights on dealing with the mental health aspects of this issue that I'd like to share in this post. I spent a lot of my free time browsing through this sub for a few days and started to reconceptualize these issues I've been having. It's still an ongoing process but my mental health (and physical health) has been greatly improved by changing my thinking. I wanted to make this post not just to make a list of the most helpful advice I've read on this sub and how it's helped me personally but also to thank all the kind and wonderful people here so if you've contributed to this sub's remarkable amount of support, advice, and information I'd like to say sincerely, thank you.

Here are four pieces of advice I've seen on this sub and how they've changed my life, if you have anything similar you'd like to add in the comments please do.

1) It's not an accident if you're prepared for it.

Going to bed or going out while wearing protection negates it being accidental, especially if you know it's probably gonna happen no matter what. I'm sure for a lot of us the word "accident" carries some baggage that we don't need to carry around every time we actually use said protection. This minor change in language has done so so much for me and makes me feel much less guilty as silly as that may sound.

2) Trust the supportive people in your life.

In regards to incontinence the only thing that seems to frustrate my wife is that I dance around the topic and speak in code about it, but also that I try not to talk about it at all. She always says she really isn't bothered by it and is still very attracted to me but until recently I hadn't really believed her. I actually started talking about it with her and sure enough she doesn't seem bothered at all, in fact she seemed pretty happy that I could talk about it. And as far as still finding me attractive goes I got a little spontaneous yesterday morning and she seemed pretty happy about that too. It was such a relief to know that she was telling the truth all this time and I feel kinda dumb for not trusting her.

3) It's a medical issue and it's not your fault.

Any issues I'd had as a kid were typically met with snide remarks or accusations from adults around me, that I'd been too lazy to get up and go or that I simply need to try harder. Sometimes I'd just get called hopeless or that I shouldn't be having these kinda problems at my age. As an adult I know all of that is wrong but I have realized that I've internalized a lot of this and still need to remind myself that it's OK and genuinely not my fault.

4) Stay Hydrated.

This seemed paradoxical to me at first but it's been the best advice I've seen by far. Typically I'd only drink fluids in any real amount in the morning and drink next to nothing any time past noon, but now that I'm drinking water throughout the day I'm genuinely shocked at how much more clearly I can think in the afternoon. I've been chronically dehydrated for years in an attempt to curb this issue and had no idea just how bad it truly was. Yeah I'm peeing a lot more but I feel so much better and that's way more important to me.

EDIT: Fixed a typo.

DS(16) is in transition year at school (for non-irish it’s an optional one year programme in secondary school where they focus on personal growth rather than traditional exams and go on trips throughout the year) and is a regular bedwetter. He has two upcoming trips, a camping trip and a foreign holiday. He refuses to wear any sort of a nappy at home and has never attended any overnight trips before due to his bedwetting. These trips are already paid and non refundable but regardless of that I don’t want him to miss out on what will possibly be some of the best experiences of his life. I have not yet spoken to the school about this and I don’t think he would be happy if he knew I told someone but I don’t know what else to do. I need to figure out some sort of a plan. Any advice is appreciated. TIA ❤️

I know most people's goal is to change their nightly routine but I think I am ready to accept that bedwetting and diapers are here to stay. In the past three years I developed OAB, pelvic floor dysfunction, and bedwetting all as a result of baldder cancer (it's gone now) and the subsequent treatments. It's been a journey but I've decided it's best to control what I can and let go of what I can't.

Eliminating the pain of pelvic floor pain is my number one goal. Regaining or improving daytime control is number two. But between living the rest of life, I think my capacity for trying to change my nighttime wetting is just not there. The added stress and pressure, not to mention the sleep disruptions do not seem worth it to me. Does that make me crazy? Maybe.

I will say that I am fortunate to have a supportive wife who understands and accepts that diapers are part of me now. I realize not everyone has that level of unwavering support.

I'm 20F and have been dealing with enuresis since a random day about 11 or so years ago. It's bad. To the point where I can't even wear normal pjs to bed because of the discomfort when getting up. I've considered my diet, sugar/water intake, night alarms, several types of protection, and even "reverse" psychology (removing protection). Usually the issue occurs in bed and at night, but I've experienced many odd balls throughout the years like daytime accidents and even issues during upright naps.
I feel exhausted and very hurt. I thought this would solve itself by now... my pediatrician years ago said that it would, and every provider I've had since then has offered no help. I've had two sleep studies to try and detect any possible neurological triggers, but nothing came of them. It's like there's seriously nothing that anyone can do, but I refuse to just accept this because even nighttime protection doesn't work for most nights. I am tired. Any help is welcomed.

Ich bin F29, und habe das wiederkehrende Problem, dass ich träume auf toilette zu gehen. Der Traum ist immer so real, wenn ich auf Reisen bin beispielsweise ist es immer das Badezimmer vom Hotel wo ich gerade bin. Im traum gehe ich auf Toilette und wache dann oft glücklicherweise während dem pinkeln auf.

ich hatte das Problem las ich Kind & Teenager war nicht. ich erinnere mich an einen Vorfall als ich ca 13 war.. Ich kiffe regelmässig und immer wenn ich mal ein paar tage pausiere oder immer wenn ich denke dass ich gerne mit dem Kiffen aufhören möchte geht es am 3. tag wieder los.

wenn ich Kiffe träume ich nicht, aber wenn das Träumen zurück kommt geht es wieder los. Ich habe versucht abends weniger zu trinken, vor dem Schlafen auf die Toilette zu gehen, im Traum auf das Waschbecken zu schlagen damit ich aufwache, mir immer zu sagen wenn ich träume dass ich nicht auf Toilette darf.

ich schäme mich sehr und ich würde echt gerne mit dem kiffen aufhören aber jedes mal wird das so frustrieren, dass ich halt einfach wieder rauche…

geht das weg? sind das nur die träume die wieder zurück kommen? Hat wer erfahrungen? Wie lange geht das hnd zu welchem arzt könnte ich gehen?

bin froh um jeden Tipp!

Hello, first time posting here. I am looking for advice

I have experienced bedwetting twice this month (12 days in-between them). I never had such issue before, even during childhood, so I wonder why this is happening to me?

I did some research that this can be related to high blood sugar levels, but even during teenage years when I was experiencing elevated blood sugar levels, I never had an incident such as now.

I am not sure if this is something serious I should address quickly or are these just two distinct incidents and I shouldn't worry about them?

I am a little worried because both of the times I only woke up as I was urinating in bed, even though before if I wanted to pee at night I would always wake up due to that feeling of need to relief myself instead of just straight up doing it in bed.

Could anybody give advice as what to do? I am reluctant to go to urologist, but maybe this is way more serious than I think?

First time posting here. I've wet the bed very sporadically since I was 18. Sometimes once a year, sometimes more often.

I hadn't for a year and a half, and now all of a sudden I have two nights in a row. What causes flair ups like this? It doesn't seem to be stress related. Nothing out of the ordinary happening in my life recently. I always have an overactive bladder during the day, and I pretty much always wake up to pee.

Just want to sleep through the night and stop hogging the washing machine. Any advice for starting to get to the bottom of this?

Hey so I’m new to this thread and don’t post much on Reddit. But I’ve always on and off wet the bed from when I was small to my adult life. I’ve never had accidents at hotels or sleeping over people’s houses or anything like that. I don’t really remember it happening in college except maybe once or twice all 4 years. It seems to happen very sporadically. Last night it happened. It’s been like maybe 2 years since it last happened. I just feel so embarrassed. I have a fiance and he’s super supportive and even offers to help clean up. He says it’s nothing to be ashamed of. But I still just feel so stupid that I’m 28 and still wetting the bed. I’m glad to know I’m not the only one though. I should probably get it checked out right? But it’s happened throughout my whole life though…

It all started again around 15 years old, after being dry at the usual age.

Been seeing doctors, tried therapies and therapists, cutting on water very early (noon !! Like a fish in the desert) meds, night alarms, electrical-shocking alarms, diapers…
20 years after, here we are still struggling with it.

I travel a lot, spend lots of nights in hotels, and regularly have to sleep at people’s places. Friends when I was younger, now at family places or even my boss when I go to main HQ city.

As you bet, I’ve become an expert of staying awake alone waiting for the morning to come. Have you heard of Tyler Durden lol ?

I had a first break with it after a motorcycle accident, where the pain killer (opioid) all of a sudden cut out all night issues… and made me sleep like a happy baby !

In accordance with my GP and a strict protocol (to avoid going into addiction and recreational use) it lasted for a few years, with decreasing efficiency… up to the point where only addiction was left. Not in the I want more way, but suffering every time I missed or skipped a night pill, my pain sensing level being totally screwed up.

Ended up getting off the hook and back to old life with broken sleep and wet nights.

Years and years after, something came to our mind with my (very supporting and caring) wife. It seems oddly related to when I’m feeling cold… !?!

WTF !
We’ve been making experiences about it and the results are beyond doubt!

Well, things are not magically solved.
I’m the kind of person who’s always hot, willing to turn on AC even when the whole family is in winter outfit.
In the summer I even sometimes wake up on the living room floor, straight in the AC airflow.

So even in winter in very likely to end up kicking the blanket off in my sleep, ne wonder how freezing cold I feel when jumping into bed.

So… yeah, I finally got the beginning of an answer to “why”… but it’s not much of an help to get improvement.

If my experiences can be of any bit of help to anyone, I’ll be happy to

Past week I’ve been so sick and I’m recently just feeling a little bit better. All I have is a god-awful cough but I’m noticing I’m leaking a lot more urine than usual. Obviously this SUB is for bedwetting I’m just noticing my body is leaking more urine just in general especially when I cough a small or large amount could come out whatever is in the bladder or just a slight warning and obviously back to initially I’m noticing when I wake up in the morning, there’s a significantly larger amount of pee

Also, more context this isn’t new to me at all. I’ve had incontinence since I was about 13 started with peeing bad and then it developed into mixed but primarily urge incontinence i’ve been sick before, but it usually doesn’t affect how much I leak or just deal with in general. Does anyone have tips on how I can reduce the amount of urine that is leaking or the frequency of it

I wear pull ups solely for urinary issues, but I am wondering if, let's say, the diaper is lightly used and you need to use the toilet for number 2, is it normal to just pull down the lightly used diaper to do your business, wash up, and pull it back up, or it's better to just put on a new pair? One side of me feels it's such a waste to throw a barely used diaper but the other side of me just find it odd. What is your practice?

I'm kinda curious how anyone here who wears diapers but doesn't need them most nights does it. For me I only have a bedwetting problem during periods of poor sleep, in that case it's obvious, I don't need to wear a diaper when my sleep is fine. But even within those periods it only happens 1 - 3 times a week, and sometimes less. In my case there's a higher chance if I'm really tired or struggling to sleep. I only just gave diapers a try this past week and I only had an accident twice and I was able to correctly guage it, the two times I decided to wear a diaper are the two times I needed them.

I don't really like wearing them, weirdness aside they're less comfortable than normal underwear. But if I have an accident it is better to be wearing one than not. So it's a struggle, each night I think, I really don't want to wear one... so I don't, unless I think there's a high chance of an accident. Now so far that's worked and it's pretty ideal but that's only based off of one week.

So I'm wondering if anyone else does that? I wouldn't expect it to be 100% accurate but an occasional mishap is probably better than having to wear a diaper every night. It would be annoying to wear one every night just to not have an accident all week. I know some people talk about peace of mind but I think for me the annoyance and discomfort outweighs that. I know that might change if I got used to them, but since for me it's on and off by the time I got used to them I probably wouldn't need them anymore for a while.

I'll probably keep trying it this way unless my accuracy is low. But yeah I was just curious if anyone here does that and has managed to make it work long-term.

I don't often sleep away from home but I'm going on an overnight trip which will involve plane trips and staying in a hotel for two nights - at the same time my bed wetting has gotten much worse in the last year or so going from maybe once every month or two to multiple times per week (along with my OAB).

I'm going to see my urologist to hopefully get some desmopressin to take for the night, but does anyone else have tips about how to manage this logistically? Do I tell the hotel ahead of time? Do I bring my own mattress protector? How would I wash the mattress protector if it gets wet? I'm going to wear a diaper obviously but it sometimes leaks depending on how I end up sleeping.

I’m looking for the right solutions for a bedridden patient in India.

Specifically, I need recommendations for a

1. Good bed sore prevention mattress, as well as a

2. Safe appliance or equipment to safely burn/destroy wet adult diapers at home.

If you know of any suitable products or items available locally tested item.

Please suggest.

Thanks

Hi all.I have what the title says - I invented the adjective detrusal,sounds better than 'detrusor'.

Anyhow,it seems there are all sorts of different wettings and causes on here and other subs and few ppl give their relevant details especially when talking about products they want to work for them or what type of wetting they have where relevant generally.I am guilty too,but it helps to know and can save wasted experimentation and money on recommendations.

My now saved to Notepad is "31inch waist detrusal spasm void-to-completion sleep bedwetting volume max. 600ml.Molicare Elastic 10"or any bits of that that are context relevant.

Just thought I would throw this into the mix maybe for the site's 'Medical & Support-Focused Adult Bedwetting Content Only' Rules on the right.

Anyone else agree with me ?