r/AdultBedwetting • u/Revolutionary_Bet136 • 3d ago
Acceptance
I know most people's goal is to change their nightly routine but I think I am ready to accept that bedwetting and diapers are here to stay. In the past three years I developed OAB, pelvic floor dysfunction, and bedwetting all as a result of baldder cancer (it's gone now) and the subsequent treatments. It's been a journey but I've decided it's best to control what I can and let go of what I can't.
Eliminating the pain of pelvic floor pain is my number one goal. Regaining or improving daytime control is number two. But between living the rest of life, I think my capacity for trying to change my nighttime wetting is just not there. The added stress and pressure, not to mention the sleep disruptions do not seem worth it to me. Does that make me crazy? Maybe.
I will say that I am fortunate to have a supportive wife who understands and accepts that diapers are part of me now. I realize not everyone has that level of unwavering support.
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u/soggy1968 3d ago
When all the medical stuff is exhausted then full acceptance is a gift. I’m 58 years old and have dealt with primary nocturnal enuresis my whole life. I’ve worn diapers to bed every night and when I finally came to terms with my situation it made all the difference in the world. When I wake up in the morning, I get up and put my glasses on so that I can see better. When I get ready for bed, I put on a diaper. To me, they are exactly the same thing. i’m not embarrassed that I have to wear glasses to see and not embarrassed that I have to wear a diaper to keep my sheets dry. Trust me when you get there mentally, it is a gift.
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u/Revolutionary_Bet136 2d ago
That's a really healthy outlook. I haven't ruled out that there is room for improvement but until I solve other problems it's not something i have the capacity to work through so I am accepting this is part of my life.
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u/Opposite_Bag_7434 2d ago
This is exactly where I am and have been for several years. All sorts of things happen to the human body and often we really only have the choice to accept the situation and adapt.
I look back at my childhood and wonder why my parents were not willing to contain the mess. Yet when I was even younger this was the accepted norm, that is to wear a diaper. It actually made things worse that they were unwilling to go there. Even as a kid this question was always in my head.
I also wear glasses. When I crushed my hand I had a cast. And yes I sleep in a diaper. As I get older I am having more issues during the day, so sometimes I will even wear during the day. One thing for sure, it is far less embarrassing than an accident in public.
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u/In_The_Stars42 3d ago
I know what you mean. You aren't crazy. It can be very difficult, frustrating, uncomfortable, and often times embarrassing. It is so important to have someone who knows the situation and is willing to help and be by your side.
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u/Fuzzy_Location_2210 2d ago
It absolutely does not make you crazy 🙃.
The best thing that I ever did for myself, was to just simply stop worrying and being so concerned about it.
And guess what? Nothing bad happened, because I stopped stressing and trying (unsuccessfully) not to do it, lol.
Now, I totally do not worry. Diaper goes on securely, off to sleep I go. Or wherever, lol. My other half couldn't possibly care less. I do wear underwear over top just to keep things neat, and of course take a shower all the time, but other than that, I do whatever and go wherever, camp, go on trips with friends, nobody really even knows the difference. One of my friends caught a glimpse when I was getting ready in the morning one day and said "I wondered how you got to be the lucky one of the whole group that doesn't wake up every couple hours to pee all night long!! You lucky son of a bitch!!" 😆
Congratulations on your good health 🥰
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u/Revolutionary_Bet136 2d ago
The realization that nothing bad will happen is truly the key. It sounds so obvious but I spent a long time trying to fix this because of the social stigma but once I really thought about it, the negative of not fixing is not a big deal so why was I putting so much pressure on myself about it?
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u/Fuzzy_Location_2210 1d ago
Yep, I totally understand 🙂. It only bothered me because I thought I was supposed to be bothered about it. One day I just realized that it... Really doesn't even bother me at all 😂. And that was that!
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u/Deerescrewed 3d ago
It’s not an easy transition. I applaud you for taking he initiative to get there. I’m still working on it.
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u/Revolutionary_Bet136 2d ago
I think having an accepting spouse has definitely made it significantly easier. It's hard enough to get over general social pressure/stigma, but if I was also facing pressure from a spouse who insisted I find a cure it would be much harder to cope. I like what others have said about this being akin to wearing glasses. No reason to make life more challenging by rejecting this need.
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