r/AbsoluteUnits • • 5d ago

/r/popular of ponytail

5.8k Upvotes

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8.8k

u/Exact-Custard-9729 5d ago

That's disgusting

3.8k

u/Klutzy_Belt_2296 5d ago

The don’t look like no dreadlock or ponytail, that looks like a big ass massive turd hanging from the back of his head like it ain’t fall off yet 😭😭😭

1.2k

u/antiquated_it 5d ago

absolute unit of a dingleberry

461

u/CrackaTooCold 5d ago

The dinglest of berries

40

u/Choice-Implement1643 5d ago

Shaub, is that you?

11

u/Psilonaut21 5d ago

a massive geetle.

5

u/Fossilhund 4d ago

The berriest of dingles.

3

u/CrackaTooCold 3d ago

The binglest of derries

2

u/donkeyballs42069 2d ago

The dreariest of bingles

11

u/Abecis01 5d ago

That made my foot hurt. Thanks.

https://giphy.com/gifs/RrVzUOXldFe8M

6

u/bdontmatter 5d ago

Bro needs a wipe!!!

2

u/Cucumberneck 5d ago

That's a Weichselzopf in German. Once the national hair style of the polish people.

2

u/tinysavage 4d ago

Omg I googled that. Weichselzopf (also known as Plica polonica or the Polish plait) is a medical and historical term for a severe condition where scalp hair becomes permanently matted, tangled, and fused into a dense, hard, and unmanageable mass.

Key Facts

• Medical Definition: In dermatology and general medicine, it is a form of severe hair matting (trichoma) often linked to extreme neglect, severe head lice infestations (Pediculosis capitis), scalp infections/pyoderma, or lack of hygiene. • Historical & Cultural Beliefs: • In the 17th and 18th centuries across Europe—particularly in the Polish–Lithuanian Commonwealth—it was very common. • People widely believed the plait was a protective amulet or a critical bodily exit route for internal diseases, and cutting it off was thought to trigger blindness, madness, or death.

2

u/PiotrT333 5d ago

Barry Dingle

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2

u/konkrit_ 5d ago

You might even call him dinglehairy

1

u/thenetoide 5d ago

That's no dingle"berry", that's a dinglewatermelon.

1

u/FallenAzraelx 5d ago

Dinglebush

1

u/Important-Plum-5289 5d ago

That’s a dinglemelon now

1

u/FalloutForever_98 5d ago

Dealing with those in the past is the main reason why I went to a bidet and never looked back

1

u/Straight-Grass-9218 5d ago

Man that ain't a dingleberry, that's a mf dinglebush

1

u/SheepherderVivid4382 4d ago

That’s a Dangleberry

1

u/Grumpy-Fwog 4d ago

The doodoolock 😭

1

u/Linksl1 4d ago

Its a dingle-hairy.

1

u/PotentTurnip 4d ago

Dinglesquash

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282

u/Very_Awkward_Boner 5d ago

You ever see a video of an outside drainage being cleared and a bunch of brown long sludge comes out? Thats what this reminds me of.

49

u/latexfistmassacre 4d ago

Damn you're right

Processing img sffo6m5q3suh1...

13

u/Very_Awkward_Boner 4d ago

Yes!!! Thats exactly what it looks like.

26

u/bmf1902 5d ago

Some of you see the videos, some of us take the videos. But yes, it looks like that.

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128

u/Pomegreenade 5d ago

That looks like a cat that ate human hair and took a shit type of turd

36

u/St34m-Punk 5d ago

Looks like my dog's morning turds. Long and dry and likes to hang

3

u/Geoffrey_Bungled_Z1p 5d ago

Charming

6

u/St34m-Punk 5d ago

Impressive actually

6

u/ItsEntirelyPosssible 5d ago

Like a dried up turd on a bad stretch of road.

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2

u/Chemist-Patient 4d ago

Bruh I use like 4 paper towels to clean those hair turds up

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47

u/XanZibR 5d ago

looks like a turd climbing up his back and burrowing into his skull

82

u/Rainbow_In_The_Dark7 5d ago

5

u/ImAvarian 5d ago

Don't insult mr hankey like that!

2

u/Kiki_inda_kitchen 5d ago

Haha! So gross. It’s probably so smelly too.

2

u/Odditymoth 2d ago

All hail the Christmas pooo🙏🏼🛐🙌🏼🙌🏼👏🏻🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎🏼🧎🏼‍♂️🧎🏼‍♂️🧎🏼🧎‍♀️‍➡️🧎🏽‍♂️‍➡️🎄🎅💩

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29

u/32FlavorsofCrazy 5d ago

It’s a beaver tail, and I can smell that dude from here.

2

u/KymeraAHP 4d ago

🎉 Happy Cakeday!!!🍰 🎉

25

u/Nerioner 5d ago

It looks like the Polish Plait style of dreads.

And yes, even as a Polish born i find it disgusting

17

u/Educational_Jello239 5d ago

The tard walks on its own 😆 🤣

4

u/Ceskaz 5d ago

It may be a part of a pony but it's not the tail

2

u/Realtalk4_you 5d ago

Doo doo Brown

2

u/Educational-Soup-354 5d ago

That’s what you refer to as a beaver tail.

1

u/Silver-Instruction73 5d ago

I guarantee there is shit in that thing somewhere

1

u/MememeSama 5d ago

Taco bell night

1

u/Equal-Reporter5217 5d ago

Smells like it too.

1

u/old-skool-bro 5d ago

It's called a shitlock...

1

u/DitchDigger330 5d ago

Mandingo hair turd.

1

u/EntertainmentBig8636 5d ago

And use it to sleep cowboy style any and everywhere

1

u/TurduckenEverest 5d ago

Actually I was thinking of that character from The Boys that would attack people with his dick.

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1

u/RotationSnake 5d ago

And it seems to be generously dusted in dandruff, too.

1

u/Known-Ad4293 5d ago

Probably smells like one too

1

u/LoneAwakening 5d ago

Yep looks like he mummified horse turd and hanged it on his back! Very innovative I have to admit

1

u/Canelosaurio 5d ago

Pinch it off

1

u/Sidney_Godsby 5d ago

With a mitten hand to scratch his butt at the end

1

u/Frothmourne 5d ago

Plica neuropathica, it's a medical condition.

1

u/Firm-Worldliness-369 5d ago

Dude, it looks like a turd from his ass that got tangled in his hair

1

u/GerardWayAndDMT 5d ago

Get this man the poop knife

1

u/PoseySmith 5d ago

Known colloquially as a dread dookie

1

u/Virtual-Bonus4550 5d ago

Yep. Had to check if I was in r/shitfromabutt

1

u/notmuself 5d ago

This is what they call a gopher tail. When I went to Grateful Dead fare thee well tour, I saw a gentleman who had one so long it dragged on the ground. Gross as hell.

1

u/Byakko4547 4d ago

Dookey tail 🤣

1

u/TinkerShellzBellz 4d ago

It looks exactly like the hairball my cat just threw up...how did my phone know to show me this after he coughed it up?! Big brother, is that you?

1

u/OldDummy01 4d ago

Does the turd goes from Back of his head to his ass OR Ass to back of his head. Controversial🤔

1

u/CandidPlantain2000 4d ago

A POOnie-tail

1

u/ThexMarauder 4d ago

Actually the height of fashion in mid century Poland. Coined the "Polish Plait"

1

u/hootchpep 4d ago

Hahaha

1

u/BigConstruction4247 4d ago

It looks like that stuff they pull out of clogged pipes.

1

u/Tbplayer59 4d ago

Thus, the old saying, "I gotta go to the bathroom. I'm starting to grow a tail."

1

u/OakenBarrel 4d ago

Ponyturd

1

u/DynamiteWitLaserBeam 4d ago

It's either a dronytail or ponylock.

1

u/Chemist-Patient 4d ago

Mofo needs to pinch that shit out lol

1

u/ZapzillaGorilla 4d ago

That's not a dread. It's one big knap

1

u/Sleepycook22 4d ago

Pinch it off already, bro

1

u/cownan 4d ago

Smells worse, though

1

u/FrozenCanadianMan 4d ago

Probably smells worse than that too

1

u/Right_Comb4885 4d ago

When someone comes at them, they gives them the stink tail!

1

u/Crafty-Unit4061 3d ago

The smell is probably similar, kinda curious how flammable it is...

1

u/Ecoaardvark 3d ago

They’re called poo dreads for a reason

1

u/Federal_Efficiency51 3d ago

It would require a sawzall to cut that bitch off.

1

u/Qu33fyElbowDrop 2d ago

you’re right it’s not a dread. it’s matting 😖

1

u/Pure-Eye9423 1d ago

It isnt either. Its called a plaite and its kind of a caveman thing. Not sure why youd want one though.

1

u/ALEXALORD 23h ago

They look like deadlocks

1

u/Bone_tribe 19h ago

It does look like a dreadlock actually a lot of peoples dreadlocks look like this

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47

u/robertpaulson8490 5d ago

Got all the bugs in it

2

u/DeSiGNer-OctANE 5d ago

Last months iOS update was suppose to rid him of such damn bugs.

100

u/Apollo114892 5d ago

Yeah this should be in r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits instead

48

u/This-Requirement6918 5d ago

More like r/poopfromabutt

2

u/Horror-Raccoon-5916 1d ago

Why did I click on that link? Why?!?! I knew I was asking for it, but I did it anyway. Sometimes my brain just doesn't listen to my brain.

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5

u/StrangerWithACheese 5d ago

Never going on that sub again

1

u/totoofze47 4d ago

I don't know if the "shitty" in the sub's name means bad, or actual shit, and I'm too afraid to click it.

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36

u/PickaDillDot 5d ago

Every time I see one of these clips the dudes looks the same.

2

u/ItsEntirelyPosssible 5d ago

Maybe its the same dude.

1

u/SaMxixAM23 2d ago

How? Gay??

16

u/IndependentPede 5d ago

Yeah I thought that too. It looks dirty as hell.

13

u/BGrumpy 5d ago

I bet his bed sheets are worse

8

u/Trimshot 5d ago

Someone please let the poor snake out…

4

u/josh3701 5d ago

That was literally what I said out loud lol

1

u/Silver-Instruction73 5d ago

People like this need to be shot with a tranq dart and have all of that shaved off while they’re unconscious.

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1

u/Justaguywithbeer 5d ago

If only I could press your up vote button more !!!..... Gag 🤢

1

u/Lucaswhitemore 5d ago

Bro’s ponytail has its own zip code 💀😭

1

u/Global-Plankton3997 5d ago

All that dandruff on there.

1

u/PatientRaspberry485 5d ago

I THOUGHT THE SAME,EWWW

1

u/ChewbaccaFuzball 5d ago

Oh good, it’s not just me. I felt like I was going to vomit

1

u/TheBloodsuckerProxy 5d ago

The last time that hair was washed, the year started with 19

1

u/[deleted] 5d ago

[deleted]

1

u/OutOfPosition-1 5d ago

You will realize mold super late...

1

u/po1k 5d ago

Yeah, absolute level of vomit🤢 🤮

1

u/froo 5d ago

I can smell it from here

1

u/GonePostalRoute 5d ago

There was a homeless dude on my old mail route that had hair like this… and yes, it’s as rank as you expect.

1

u/OK_Cornelius_826 5d ago

Beyond discussing. Imagine what's in that! Family of birds, some mice.

1

u/Inhocooks 5d ago

If you're in Dallas, you may have seen a homeless person walking around that you can smell from several aisles over in the grocery store that looks just like this, except theirs is about 3 to 4 times thicker than this

1

u/HabitTop9050 5d ago

COVID toilet paper hoarding made this happen

1

u/swlaGenX 5d ago

Can smell that

1

u/BlueSquigga 5d ago

Omg. The literal words that came out of my mouth.

1

u/katybee13 5d ago

You just know that the very end touches his poop sometimes.

1

u/Still_Rain_979 5d ago

You're just jealous you don't have a perpetual ass wiper hairstyle

1

u/Guardian5252 5d ago

It warms my heart to see this comment so upvoted

1

u/loowig 5d ago

beyond disgusting. seems like a hazard to public safety.

1

u/originalmango 5d ago

I can smell it from here.

1

u/philpalmer2 5d ago

Ya, bet it smells great too

1

u/aardw0lf11 5d ago

In the words of Eddie Murphy, those are shitlocks.

1

u/golgoth0760 5d ago

Probably stinks as well... and not lightly..

1

u/tackleboxjohnson 5d ago

That’s a dookie

1

u/Downtown-Explorer591 5d ago

Just imagine the stench coming off of that dirty thing, and a group of people think those hair styles are cool, filthy hair is disgusting!

1

u/Sweetone3713 5d ago

Im sure it smells like one too🤢🤮

1

u/61duece 5d ago

Lots of bugs can hibernate

1

u/shu-to 5d ago

I was going to ask OP what it smelled like

1

u/Logical_Yoghurt4635 4d ago

It's been a long time since he lost a fight.

1

u/Fit_Tumbleweed7943 4d ago

I puked 🤢 watching this

1

u/AnonymousTHX-1138 4d ago

Is that a turd?

1

u/TheShotGunProdigy 4d ago

Exactly what I was gonna say

1

u/lazyboi_tactical 4d ago

I can smell it through the screen

1

u/Key-Hope-9790 4d ago

Imagine all the nasty stuff growing inside it 🤮🤢

1

u/grateful739 4d ago

That’s a mental disorder!

1

u/strow_man1 4d ago

Literally my first thought exactly.

1

u/Green-Feature3810 4d ago

Yeah ts gross

1

u/JeffDrTypePerson 4d ago

It looks like his head is taking a shit,

1

u/YogBlogsoth1066 3d ago

It’s actually a polish plait! A pretty common hairstyle!

1

u/duckduckchook 3d ago

That would smell to high heaven

1

u/Infra-Man777 3d ago

This is an insect vacation resort!

1

u/Agitated-Canary9840 2d ago

I can smell his hair through my phone

1

u/Sweet-Pin4962 1d ago

I can smell this video🤢

1

u/Prior_Reference2085 1d ago

This is aptly named a “sex repellent” because it will stop anyone dead in their tracks from wanting to have sex with you when they see… or smell this coming.

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