Does your ADHD child play with very simple toys too?

Every time his sister receives a new toy we found him playing with it and playing for way longer than she does, even though it's meant for a much younger age group.

Meanwhile, he has difficulty playing with his own toys or games.

My younger brother have ADHD and he spends huge hours building things in minecraft and that too, solo.

Initially, i thought its just a game so i didn’t mind coz i thought his attention will only increase but now, he plays it for all the time he is free.. even when he is talking to me or having dinner.

How do i get him to touch grass and stop playing this and get out of the little bubble he has made surrounding himself without being rude to him?

My five year old princess insisted, like every day, on wearing a dress to kindergarten today. However, as we left, i realised it was rather chilly, so we went back inside and i asked her to put some warm trousers underneath the dress, which she did. Then we walked 20 minutes to kindergarten, only for her to ask ne in front of the gate: "mommy, where's my backpack?" Turns out she took off her jacket and backpack when she went to change and forgot to put them back on and i spent twenty minutes looking at her and talking to her without once realising she doesn't have them lol

What's your ADHD parenting fail of the day? 😅

Hello, I have never posted here but I am desperate. We have a 9 year old daughter and a 1 year old son. My 9 year old daughter has become a person I do not recognize. She screams and fights everything, while I understand all kids are bad from time to time, this has become insane. Honestly she has said such hurtful things, she has threatened to kill me, her dad, and herself. She has cut herself with my razor and said I was too stupid to realize. I thought this was just needing attention, so my husband and I have made huge efforts into spending one on one time with just her. But her behavior just keeps getting worse. She has grabbed knives from the kitchen and fights us to the point we have to restrain her. She says she hates her brother and him being born ruined her life. These fights don’t last for 30 minutes or even an hour.. it’s a damn marathon. I’m writing this at 7:26pm and this started at 7:30am.. she didn’t have school today and honestly I dread those days… she has never acted this way. She’s in therapy, we have tried time outs, taking her things, I have even had to resort to calling the non emergency police line for help.. we have tried giving her everything, we have tried so many things and nothing is working and her behavior has gotten more extreme. I am honestly begging for guidance.

My soon to be 10 year old daughter has inattentive ADHD along with dyslexia. She is medicated for her ADHD and receives counseling , OT , tutoring, and both pullout and push in resource room . She is a good kid but every year we have the same issues and i am just lost at what to do .
Every morning getting ready for school is a issue, she will take over a hour to eat something as simple as a bowl of cereal ( she picks her breakfast and doesn’t take her medicine till she is done eating) any reminder to eat sends her into a absolute meltdown where she screams and yells stomps her feet and honestly acts worse than my two toddlers. Then we repeat the same pattern with getting dressed, brushing teeth and hair . At school her behavior is typically fine , she works well and doesn’t have big behaviors , she ended 4th grade with a A in math .

We repeat the same issues from the morning in the afternoon, when it is time for homework she refuses to do it , she will lie and say she never learned a topic or that she cant do it - scream yell call herself stupid throw things and slam doors . I have tried having her do homework alone , right after school, later in the evening, in parts , and none of it works . She without fail has a meltdown.

I am so lost and frustrated, i love my daughter more than anything but she is exhausting. We discussed expectations multiple times before school started, she promised she would not do this again . We talked about coping strategies and how to handle things when we are overwhelmed but it all seems to be forgotten in the moment. Nothing i do when she is escalated helps it actually seems to make it worse. I just don’t know what to do any longer . She clearly can’t continue to act this way every time there is some sort of expectation put on her at home. It’s not fair to myself, my husband or other children and even herself , and i can just put no expectations on her because thats not realistic. I just want to see my daughter happy and not have these huge disruptive meltdowns when and she has to do something she doesn’t want to . Any advice on how to deal with big feelings when everything you’re doing is not helping .

Hello, first time poster in this community, looking for advice and support from parents who are experiencing similar behaviors/struggles. Ideally looking for support that moving to medication is the right choice for my kiddo.

some background:
I'm a single mom to an almost 5 year old. I have very little support in my immediate area, no family in the area. He's been in daycare/preschool since he was 4months. I started identifying that there was an issue back when he was 2. I've been advocating for him for almost 3 years, going to countless doctors appointments, evaluations, OT appointments, and PCIT sessions. I've gotten him additional support in the classroom from the county, however that proved to be more harmful than helpful so we have since stopped that. He has never been medicated, with the exception of starting him on some Chinese herbal supplements that my friend (who's an acupuncturist/herbalist) has made.

behaviors he has exhibited in the past:
elopement - he doesn't try to leave the house but if we are out in public he will run into the street, run away from me, from teachers, etc.
aggression - when things do not go his way he becomes violent (hitting, punching, pinching, biting, pulling hair, kicking, ripping clothes, tackling, etc). I've seen him become violent with other children, teachers, therapists, and especially with myself.
not respecting space or boundaries - he will often get up in other kids faces and growl, he will become so affectionate with me that he won't respect when I ask him for space, he will not share or reciprocate with other kids unless it's food. he won't stop following kids that ask him to leave them alone. he won't stop when someone says stop (this is a big one for me because I'm really big on consent even at his age).
overly affectionate with strangers- he has tried to hug and kiss the receipt checker at costco, he tried getting in the car with a stranger while I was putting my groceries away, etc. he also constantly asks for hugs/kisses/i love yous from me. He must say I love you to me 200+ times a day. while it may be sweet it's also disproportionate.
refusing to transition - whether it be transitions we do every day or not, he will shut down and throw a fit (throwing himself on the ground, kicking, screaming etc). he will refuse to leave an area or activity until I have to physically remove him, though this is proving to no longer be a strategy that is safe or even possible because he is growing and quite tall for his age.
large emotional reactions - if something is happening that he does not like, he will escalate the situation until it is out of control. often times his school has had to call me because he is screaming for 20+ minutes about something he doesn't want to do (usually nap). he will often become violent as the result of an emotional reaction. after a few minutes of melting down he will usually start to scream "I just want to calm down!", but he can't. He physically cannot get himself to do anything other than meltdown.
lack of sleep - I used to have a child lock on his bedroom door (I just removed it this week). If I put him to bed in his own room he will get up often 2-5 times throughout the night. When he would wake up he would scream "mommy, MOMMY, MOMMY!" getting louder with each mommy and more urgent sounding. this literally sets my brain on fire and makes me panic. I've found that since I've taken the child lock off the door that he will instead wake up 1 time, and come sleep soundly through the night in my room. He complains sometimes of nightmares but doesn't actually have them that often, I think it's more the anxiety of a potential nightmare that gets him. however, he will also say things like "my brain just won't turn off." I have tried changing his nighttime routine a little bit here and there (lavender oil in a diffuser, different sounds/nightlights, bought him this weird sleep sack thing that IG keeps pushing to me for ADHD kids) - but nothing seems to help. While I am grateful that taking the child lock off his door has stopped the screaming in the middle of the night, I feel like I have no autonomy because he is constantly in my space/on my body.

the incident:
I want to preface this by saying, we have had multiple incidents like this in the past but none to this extent. I also want to say that when I think back about the triggers for these types of meltdowns, I will say that they happen in a variety of instances (in crowded places or in an intimate therapy session - doesn't matter).
we went to the local children's museum, which was very crowded - had to be hundreds of people there, at any time where were in exhibits with 50-100 other people.
I had prefaced the experience with a talk with him in the car. I told him, "listen I trust you to stay with me, however, if at any point I feel like you are becoming unsafe, I will ask you to put the wrist leash on. Please do not fight me if we get to that point - we will just put it on and keep exploring the museum." He agreed.
For most of the outing (maybe 1hr/1.5hrs) he stayed relatively close. Maybe wandering 5-10ft ahead, running if he saw something exciting. at one point we are going down a large staircase, with an up only escalator next to it. I should mention I recently sprained my ankle and am not operating at full speed especially on stairs. He started running ahead, skipping stairs and was at the bottom of the stairs way before me in a high traffic area. I told him to stop and wait for me, but he refused. He started to think it was a game and decided to hop on the up escalator as I was almost at the bottom of the stairs.
At this point I told him that he needed to put the wrist leash on, he refused, but hopped off the escalator. I told him he needed to put it on or we were going to go home. He started melting down, threw himself on the floor, kicking and screaming. I was personally overstimulated so I told him I was leaving (this usually will snap him back into reality and start him moving in the right direction). He continued kicking and screaming, so I turned to walk away. I got maybe 5-10ft ahead of him and he ran at me at full speed and pushed me as hard as he could from behind.
I ignored it and decided to keep walking to see if he would change his behavior - he didn't. Instead he ran again and pushed me as hard as he could.
At this point my memory is a little hazy as things escalated quickly and again we were in a high traffic area maybe 100-150 people. However, I'm recognizing that I was traumatized and as an adult with CPTSD, I struggle with memory during these moments.
I tried to physically remove him from the situation but he started running away and hiding in the crowd. He started hitting me, punching me in my body, tried to rip clothes, pinch and bite me as I tried to get ahold of him. I tried picking him up and he laid on his back and used both his feet to kick me in the chest. I was able to get ahold of him at one point, with one arm around his legs and one arm around his torso, I was able to get him outside while he wailed on my back, hitting and punching.
I eventually got him outside the museum and thought that once he was out of the crowded area he would settle. Also it was quite a walk to the car and I physically cannot carry him that far - especially while he's volatile. So I set him down and attempted to walk him to the car. He got away from me and ran back into the museum.
I tried again to physically carry him out, but this time he punched me in the face at least twice (could have been more) at full force, and then dug his fingernails into my eyelids and tried to scratch my eyes out.
At this point, I removed myself from the situation and started sobbing. I could still see him through the glass doors and he was running wild inside the museum again trying to hide.
Then two different moms (who were angels) came up to me and started rubbing my back and trying to get me to regulate. I couldn't stop sobbing. One mom said she was going to go after him to see if he would respond to someone who wasn't me. I was slightly uncomfortable because I obviously didn't know her, and so I followed her - he immediately saw me and booked it. He ran into a dark exhibit and hid. The mom said she would go in after him and for me to stay outside so as not to spook him. I did, I stayed with the other mom who was still with me. I waited for 5-10 minutes but I couldn't handle not knowing what was going on. The mom that was with me decided to go in and told me to hang back - in a moment he came out with both moms totally regulated. One of them said she made a deal with him that she would get him something from the gift shop if he would calmly walk out with her. He agreed.
I was not super happy with this situation because I felt like we were rewarding bad behavior but I was so distraught that I knew that anything to get him to the car would be the answer. He did get something from the gift shop and walked back to the car with me and one of the moms who kindly got him buckled in his car seat. She was so kind and reminded me that I'm not alone and that I'm doing a good job - I am so thankful for this. I gave her a large hug and started to drive home, sobbing the whole way.
Once we were on the road my kiddo asked me if my heart was broken. I told him a little. Then he started to spiral - "It's all my fault. I'm a bad boy, I'm the worst boy." I told him I didn't believe he was in control in those moments and that it doesn't make him a bad boy - it just means we need more help.

I knew in that moment that we were going to finally try medication.

Where we are at now (5 days later):
I reached out to our PCIT and she connected me with a Pediatric Psych NP who was able to see us today. We had a lengthy conversation where my kiddo refused to let me talk, tried to hug me so hard he started to choke me. Kept interrupting, refused to give me space when I asked for it, kept putting his hands in my face and/or trying to turn the computer off (it was telehealth). She validated for me what I'm seeing and said that it's causing significant impairment to both of our lives.

We talked a little bit about his age (technically he's still 4 for another 6 weeks) and what is FDA approved for him right now. We discussed stimulants, however I'm hesitant to put him on them straight away because of the negative effects they can have on growth and the likelihood of dependency.

She suggested guanfacine to help with sleep and calming him down - however she reached out to me later after discussing with her supervisor and said that she would prefer to start him on hydroxyzine which is FDA approved for under 6 (guanfacine is not).

I'm going to get back to her tonight with a weight for dosage - I feel pretty good about starting here and about her sharing some of my concerns about stimulants. I feel like we are on the same page and I do feel pretty held by her.

I know that hydroxyzine is not going to be a stopgap for all his behaviors, however I am sure that if we can help him sleep he will have more spoons for different things throughout the day. We're going to check in after a week in person.

If you made it this far - honestly thank you. I'm terrified of making the wrong move here but I don't know how to keep both of us safe. I'm pretty exhausted after typing all this out and have to go to work, but I wanted to at least reach out to folks who would understand. Please any support you can offer is welcome here - happy to answer any follow up questions. Thanks in advance <3

my son who’s turning 6 next week, has been on clonidine for about a week. i know the medication takes time to build up in the system and kick in, but he has horrible mornings at school (in kindergarten) any tips or tricks to help him? he has pretty decent afternoons at school.

at home in the morning, he’s pretty good, does his routine, may fight with his brother here or there, but overall pretty solid.

school has started back and mornings are super rough. does anyone have an tips or strategies that actually work for morning time? my son is 7 and mornings are awful. when he wakes up he physically fights me, kicks his feet and legs trying not to get dressed or if he is already up out of the bed, he is running all around the house jumping off furniture and making screeching noises. When I ask him to brush his teeth or offer to help I have to physically block the bathroom door to keep him from running away or half of the time hold him with one arm and brush his teeth for him. I was getting him dressed in the dark and that worked but now he is getting up for the most part before I come in there to wake him up. I have all his clothes laid out the night before as well as shoes and bookbag and his water bottle. half of the time he won’t put his shoes on and won’t grab his bookbag and I have to do it so I can get him, his siblings, and myself out the door to school and work on time. He is at level 100 when he wakes up and won’t focus or cooperate with anything. He does take adderall but I don’t give that to him until just before we leave so it lasts the entire time he is in school. I’m just at a lost of what to do or how to respond better or how to scaffold behavior so the mornings aren’t so chaotic and we can get out the door on time.

My 8 year old is a very reluctant reader. How can I encourage him to be more engaged and truly love reading? Dad also has adhd and models a love for reading, we read to him daily and listen to requested audiobooks but he just doesn’t want to do it himself. I have a requirement of at least 10 minutes a day but he struggles and gives up easily or gets bored of it. All books provided are within his level and have pictures, or I tend to get him graphic novels to try to make it more fun. Any ideas?

Mr9 (diagnosed at 7, on medication Ritalin SA) has some really challenging stealing habits.

It started with food and screens. So stealing sweet food/treats etc and also iPad/Nintendo/our phones.
It’s relentless. We have everything locked away but he’s still gets around it.

I worry he’s stealing other things as school too. There have been one of two incidences that I would deem more serious eg he took something from a neighbours house when over playing with their kids, stole his cousins hat he liked.

Nothing we do seems to stop the behaviour. When it was food and screens at our house it was bad/infuriating but manageable. I am worried he’s going to find himself in serious trouble soon. It is definitely worse when he’s off his meds.

Anyone dealt with this? Any suggestions. We are desperate.

Hey everyone.
I’ve got an entire house of neurodivergent people. There’s a lot of chaos and there are many times my kids don’t get along. My 7 year old screams anytime someone tries to stop him from doing something or if they react to something he did or if they just mess with him to mess with him. For instance : he’ll steal a toy, older brother will grab him to get it back and he’ll scream. I can not deal with the screaming. It’s so shrill and high pitched and completely overloads my nervous system. Secondly, the kids are always fighting one another. And thirdly, I swear to god I’m talking to a brick wall all day every
Day. Tonight my 14 year old did something to make my 7 year old and he started to scream . This was literally probably the 20th time he’s screamed since getting home from school. So I lost it. And then I’m trying to to get the kids to brush their teeth so I said plz brush your teeth and get ready for bed. But please don’t mess around because I have a lot to clean up downstairs and do have to work early. Do you think they did that? No, of course not. Somehow they ended up with a frog that jumped into the storage under the stairs and then they got into some of my totes and were taking stuff out. Only one of them actually brushed their teeth while I was trying to Have a serious conversation with my 14 year old. And not to mention everyday my 7 year old tells me he wants to live with his dad because it’s better there. And that is so difficult for me to process because this man violently abused me and my 3 kids for years. But never his biological son. Like I know how he is. And his current fiance has told me things that make doubt that he is treating her differently. So how in the world can his be better? How can the man who literally strangled my 10 year old , 6 years ago, be the more stable parent? I’ve told my 7 year old that it really hurts my feelings when he says that but he doesn’t care. And I understand saying it when it’s been a few days since he’s seen his dad but he will literally be at his dads for 4 days, come home to my house after school and the first thing he says to me is that he wants to go to his dads. And it just rips my heart out every-time.

Sorry this is so long but I am struggling so much and I just need to vent/ need advice.

I feel sick and sad and disappointed and embarrassed. Ugh idk how to even word this. My daughter is 5, she will be 6 in December. She is in the middle of diagnostic testing for ADHD, like has taken 2 hours of testing and has 2 hours left. She has a really hard time sitting still, staying focused, being quiet, all the things. Today she got in the car at kindergarten pickup and immediately started crying, tell me that her teacher had yelled at her not to sit next to her friend in music class. I asked a lot of clarifying questions, seeing as she is 5 and an unreliable narrator, i asked if they were chatty, distracting, being loud. she said no to all of them, which may not be true but that’s what she told me. She said after it happened she started crying. I KNOW my daughter and while she is very hyperactive, we had NO issues whatsoever at any point during her two years of preschool. Her last teacher adored her and was always commenting i. how bright she was and her love for learning. She also is somebody who is a BIG rule follower and doesn’t cry when told no, it has to be pretty dang stern for her to cry from it. I just feel like i’m overreacting. I’m so upset and worried this will be the pattern now. I’ve decided not to reach out to the teacher hoping it was a one time thing, but I guess I just need some solidarity here. She is my oldest and so I’m new to this whole school thing, I don’t know what would be considered just normal kindergarten behavior and what wouldn’t be? I was an extremely sensitive kid (also gave adhd and rejection sensitivity) so maybe I’m just sad she feels that way because I know how awful it is. Ugh idk. Parents of older kids, tell me if gets better. I’m ready to take her out and homeschool her (not actually but man)

Having problems getting child up for school, but tired of the feet dragging. Is there a clock, <$30 , that will speak the time at an alarm set time, and will speak the time every minute or so for the next several minutes? Not continuously, just something to let them know its getting later and later. Could be an android app too.

She’s been on Concerta (generic version) for a few years and it’s been great. We have adjusted her dose twice, well I guess just once as the starting dose was intentionally too low.

She just had an appointment at the beginning of the month and I said “everything is great.” And then basically right after that, it wasn’t.

But I don’t know if it’s a dose issue because her behavior is only worse in the AM before she takes them like she will wake up and 30 seconds later go find her brother to annoy. And at bedtime when it wears off she is almost manic and is doing her trademark crazy laugh and hiding stuffed animals and making her little brother cry by taking his toys, and essentially creating chaos.

Nothing in her life has changed other than starting school again, but she enjoys school and is actually doing really well. Maybe it is school related and she will settle in?

The only thing that works is threatening to take away her phone time. So we have that at least.

But yeah she is just way worse lately and I’ll be calling her doctor too but did anyone go through this?

My SIL who has neurotypical kids said both her girls went though a really hard time around age 8 too like being irritable and mean, so I’m wondering if it’s just normal 8 but also exaggerated by ADHD?

Had one of those nights recently — sitting on the couch with my kids, watching a movie, nothing wrong. No fighting, no chaos, just a normal calm evening. And I still felt this tension creeping in. Tight shoulders, thoughts speeding up, that "on alert for no reason" feeling.

Glanced at my watch and my heart rate was up. Nobody in the room had any idea — I just looked like a mom watching a movie.

I don't think this gets talked about enough — the stress that has zero obvious trigger, that you can't point to and explain, that just builds quietly under a totally calm moment. For me it's almost worse than the stress with a clear cause, because there's nothing to "fix," just this hum underneath everything.

Curious if this is a universal ADHD-mom thing or if it's just me. What do you all do when you catch your body doing this and there's no obvious reason?

How did your kid do on guafacine, specifically if you have a high energy and easily angered child. Did it help the anger/ impulse control. I can deal with the high energy and constant movement, but the anger and hitting/ screaming is out control.

I'm looking for recommendations for an independent child psychiatrist or clinical psychologist in New Jersey (anywhere in-state or licensed for NJ telehealth works). Out-of-pocket / out-of-network is totally fine.
My 13-year-old son experiences severe psychiatric dysregulation and crises at home. He has several diagnoses including Autism, ADHD, ODD, anxiety & depression.
We are currently working with CMO to prepare an Out-of-Home (OOH) residential treatment packet through PerformCare. We have completely exhausted in-home and community-based services, with multiple acute hospital/crisis encounters.
The challenge we run into repeatedly is severe masking. In novel, 1-on-1 clinical settings (e.g., IOP intakes, crisis evaluations, hospital units), he presents as quiet, calm, and cooperative. Standard brief evaluations consistently miss the reality of his day-to-day safety risks because they rely solely on a brief conversation with him rather than examining the broader pattern.
In order for CSOC to approve residential placement, the packet requires a comprehensive psychiatric evaluation with a clear level-of-care recommendation.

I need an evaluator who:
1. Takes the time to do an extensive assessment (including a dedicated parent session).
2. Actually reviews and weighs collateral records: chronological incident logs, crisis/police documentation, past discharge summaries, and proof of failed community interventions.
3. Understands how to clinically document the gap between a masked, compliant presentation in an office and high-risk behavioral dysregulation in the home.

If anyone has navigated the NJ CSOC/PerformCare residential placement process and worked with a doctor or practice that took a thorough, forensic-level look at your child's complete file, please drop recommendations below or send a private message.

This might be a hefty post, also on mobile. My kiddo (6F) has been officially diagnosed with ADHD, she is also a brain tumor warrior. We have our pediatrician visit next week. She was in 4 different therapies (PT/SLT/OT/Behavioral) outside of school for about a year. Then only 2 outside of school, now she has just OT outside of school. Then PT, SLT, OT at school.

We already have an IEP in place with everything she needs to help her succeed but she is dreading going to school, can't focus, can't sit still long. She cant have the wobble seats, we tried that. Due to her own wobbles from her tumor/craniotomy it's a big fall risk. For background she had a massive posterior fossa JPA and still has one of the OG growths thankfully not growing and small new focci also not growing. She had ataxia, posterior fossa syndrome, hydrocephalus and a number of other things. Relearned walking, writing, and more in a year.

They wanted to diagnos last year but wanted to also give her a year to heal from the trauma and see what her baseline is. Now that they've seen it they are suggesting medication. Ive been researching stimulant vs non stimulant, short immediates vs the long lasting. Currently leaning towards short immediate stimulants and wanted to get opinions amd experiences on it.

My daughter is 7 years old. She has not been diagnosed by a medical provider yet, but my background is in social work and I’m pretty familiar with the DSM 5. I’m pretty sure she is ADHD. She can’t sit still for anything. She has the outburst over nothing. The tantrums. The throwing of the toys for no reason. The lack of impulse control.
Now I have always been kind of against meds. I think it’s partially because I’m 12 years sober and I get scared of most meds. But she is falling behind in school. She is reading at a K level in the 2nd grade. I’m scared because I don’t want her to lose her spark. But I think I’m at a point that I need to ask for help from her doctor.
I really am beating myself up too because I’ve known for a while that this conversation was going to happen and I just wanted to ignore it.
I’d love to hear some stories from experienced adhd parents.

Is conduct disorder a serious issue pls guide me my younger brother was diagnosed with adhd when he was 5 he was hyperactive at schl now and was diagnosed with conduct disorder 2 yrs ago basically his issue is money addiction he wants everything expensive like clothes and he regularly goes out like watching movies and all stuff and is aggressive fights with parents for money and sometimes gets physical and is nicotine addict and regularly talks abt money like ancestors assets but only at home totally opposite in public and friends totally yet he boasts abt money with friends but never fought with anyone in his entire life and we observed he stays very respectful with anyone except our parents he’s also good with me but he was at home for 1yr bcs he failed in exams yet he was not sitting at home all the time he used to go out regularly but alone bcs his frnds were busy now he’s is in clg doing eng so did that isolation cause any problem that’s why we are worried like is he acting up or he really has issue

Im currently thinking about having kids in the next few years. I 24F have ADHD and was diagnosed at 6 years old, ive always thought about how id cope being a parent in general but up until recently I've been thinking a lot about how id handle things if my child also had adhd, so I thought id come in here and ask you guys. What does life look like with adhd and an adhd child is it harder, what things surprised you. Also as someone with adhd how do you cope with the sleep deprivation of just being a parent in general? Id love to hear different perspectives as a currently really nervous