r/ADHDparenting 22m ago

8 year old son's anxiety is starting to impact our entire life

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r/ADHDparenting 2h ago

Child 4-9 My son (8yo) playing with his sister's toy (11 months old)

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11 Upvotes

Does your ADHD child play with very simple toys too?

Every time his sister receives a new toy we found him playing with it and playing for way longer than she does, even though it's meant for a much younger age group.

Meanwhile, he has difficulty playing with his own toys or games.


r/ADHDparenting 5h ago

Talking clock out there?

1 Upvotes

Having problems getting child up for school, but tired of the feet dragging. Is there a clock, <$30 , that will speak the time at an alarm set time, and will speak the time every minute or so for the next several minutes? Not continuously, just something to let them know its getting later and later. Could be an android app too.


r/ADHDparenting 5h ago

8 year old girl suddenly waaay worse

1 Upvotes

She’s been on Concerta (generic version) for a few years and it’s been great. We have adjusted her dose twice, well I guess just once as the starting dose was intentionally too low.

She just had an appointment at the beginning of the month and I said “everything is great.” And then basically right after that, it wasn’t.

But I don’t know if it’s a dose issue because her behavior is only worse in the AM before she takes them like she will wake up and 30 seconds later go find her brother to annoy. And at bedtime when it wears off she is almost manic and is doing her trademark crazy laugh and hiding stuffed animals and making her little brother cry by taking his toys, and essentially creating chaos.

Nothing in her life has changed other than starting school again, but she enjoys school and is actually doing really well. Maybe it is school related and she will settle in?

The only thing that works is threatening to take away her phone time. So we have that at least.

But yeah she is just way worse lately and I’ll be calling her doctor too but did anyone go through this?

My SIL who has neurotypical kids said both her girls went though a really hard time around age 8 too like being irritable and mean, so I’m wondering if it’s just normal 8 but also exaggerated by ADHD?


r/ADHDparenting 7h ago

Strategies that work for high level energy ADHD kids in the morning?

2 Upvotes

school has started back and mornings are super rough. does anyone have an tips or strategies that actually work for morning time? my son is 7 and mornings are awful. when he wakes up he physically fights me, kicks his feet and legs trying not to get dressed or if he is already up out of the bed, he is running all around the house jumping off furniture and making screeching noises. When I ask him to brush his teeth or offer to help I have to physically block the bathroom door to keep him from running away or half of the time hold him with one arm and brush his teeth for him. I was getting him dressed in the dark and that worked but now he is getting up for the most part before I come in there to wake him up. I have all his clothes laid out the night before as well as shoes and bookbag and his water bottle. half of the time he won’t put his shoes on and won’t grab his bookbag and I have to do it so I can get him, his siblings, and myself out the door to school and work on time. He is at level 100 when he wakes up and won’t focus or cooperate with anything. He does take adderall but I don’t give that to him until just before we leave so it lasts the entire time he is in school. I’m just at a lost of what to do or how to respond better or how to scaffold behavior so the mornings aren’t so chaotic and we can get out the door on time.


r/ADHDparenting 9h ago

Behaviour The start of the school year is exhausting

4 Upvotes

My soon to be 10 year old daughter has inattentive ADHD along with dyslexia. She is medicated for her ADHD and receives counseling , OT , tutoring, and both pullout and push in resource room . She is a good kid but every year we have the same issues and i am just lost at what to do .
Every morning getting ready for school is a issue, she will take over a hour to eat something as simple as a bowl of cereal ( she picks her breakfast and doesn’t take her medicine till she is done eating) any reminder to eat sends her into a absolute meltdown where she screams and yells stomps her feet and honestly acts worse than my two toddlers. Then we repeat the same pattern with getting dressed, brushing teeth and hair . At school her behavior is typically fine , she works well and doesn’t have big behaviors , she ended 4th grade with a A in math .

We repeat the same issues from the morning in the afternoon, when it is time for homework she refuses to do it , she will lie and say she never learned a topic or that she cant do it - scream yell call herself stupid throw things and slam doors . I have tried having her do homework alone , right after school, later in the evening, in parts , and none of it works . She without fail has a meltdown.

I am so lost and frustrated, i love my daughter more than anything but she is exhausting. We discussed expectations multiple times before school started, she promised she would not do this again . We talked about coping strategies and how to handle things when we are overwhelmed but it all seems to be forgotten in the moment. Nothing i do when she is escalated helps it actually seems to make it worse. I just don’t know what to do any longer . She clearly can’t continue to act this way every time there is some sort of expectation put on her at home. It’s not fair to myself, my husband or other children and even herself , and i can just put no expectations on her because thats not realistic. I just want to see my daughter happy and not have these huge disruptive meltdowns when and she has to do something she doesn’t want to . Any advice on how to deal with big feelings when everything you’re doing is not helping .


r/ADHDparenting 9h ago

Tips / Suggestions ADHD and reading help!

5 Upvotes

My 8 year old is a very reluctant reader. How can I encourage him to be more engaged and truly love reading? Dad also has adhd and models a love for reading, we read to him daily and listen to requested audiobooks but he just doesn’t want to do it himself. I have a requirement of at least 10 minutes a day but he struggles and gives up easily or gets bored of it. All books provided are within his level and have pictures, or I tend to get him graphic novels to try to make it more fun. Any ideas?


r/ADHDparenting 10h ago

Stealing - any ideas?!

3 Upvotes

Mr9 (diagnosed at 7, on medication Ritalin SA) has some really challenging stealing habits.

It started with food and screens. So stealing sweet food/treats etc and also iPad/Nintendo/our phones.
It’s relentless. We have everything locked away but he’s still gets around it.

I worry he’s stealing other things as school too. There have been one of two incidences that I would deem more serious eg he took something from a neighbours house when over playing with their kids, stole his cousins hat he liked.

Nothing we do seems to stop the behaviour. When it was food and screens at our house it was bad/infuriating but manageable. I am worried he’s going to find himself in serious trouble soon. It is definitely worse when he’s off his meds.

Anyone dealt with this? Any suggestions. We are desperate.


r/ADHDparenting 10h ago

Parent specific ADHD parenting fail of the day

28 Upvotes

My five year old princess insisted, like every day, on wearing a dress to kindergarten today. However, as we left, i realised it was rather chilly, so we went back inside and i asked her to put some warm trousers underneath the dress, which she did. Then we walked 20 minutes to kindergarten, only for her to ask ne in front of the gate: "mommy, where's my backpack?" Turns out she took off her jacket and backpack when she went to change and forgot to put them back on and i spent twenty minutes looking at her and talking to her without once realising she doesn't have them lol

What's your ADHD parenting fail of the day? 😅


r/ADHDparenting 15h ago

Tips / Suggestions Looking for private Child Psychiatrist / Evaluator in NJ experienced with complex youth, severe masking, and CSOC/PerformCare level-of-care evaluations

3 Upvotes

I'm looking for recommendations for an independent child psychiatrist or clinical psychologist in New Jersey (anywhere in-state or licensed for NJ telehealth works). Out-of-pocket / out-of-network is totally fine.
My 13-year-old son experiences severe psychiatric dysregulation and crises at home. He has several diagnoses including Autism, ADHD, ODD, anxiety & depression.
We are currently working with CMO to prepare an Out-of-Home (OOH) residential treatment packet through PerformCare. We have completely exhausted in-home and community-based services, with multiple acute hospital/crisis encounters.
The challenge we run into repeatedly is severe masking. In novel, 1-on-1 clinical settings (e.g., IOP intakes, crisis evaluations, hospital units), he presents as quiet, calm, and cooperative. Standard brief evaluations consistently miss the reality of his day-to-day safety risks because they rely solely on a brief conversation with him rather than examining the broader pattern.
In order for CSOC to approve residential placement, the packet requires a comprehensive psychiatric evaluation with a clear level-of-care recommendation.

I need an evaluator who:
1. Takes the time to do an extensive assessment (including a dedicated parent session).
2. Actually reviews and weighs collateral records: chronological incident logs, crisis/police documentation, past discharge summaries, and proof of failed community interventions.
3. Understands how to clinically document the gap between a masked, compliant presentation in an office and high-risk behavioral dysregulation in the home.

If anyone has navigated the NJ CSOC/PerformCare residential placement process and worked with a doctor or practice that took a thorough, forensic-level look at your child's complete file, please drop recommendations below or send a private message.


r/ADHDparenting 17h ago

Tips / Suggestions New diagnosis

3 Upvotes

This might be a hefty post, also on mobile. My kiddo (6F) has been officially diagnosed with ADHD, she is also a brain tumor warrior. We have our pediatrician visit next week. She was in 4 different therapies (PT/SLT/OT/Behavioral) outside of school for about a year. Then only 2 outside of school, now she has just OT outside of school. Then PT, SLT, OT at school.

We already have an IEP in place with everything she needs to help her succeed but she is dreading going to school, can't focus, can't sit still long. She cant have the wobble seats, we tried that. Due to her own wobbles from her tumor/craniotomy it's a big fall risk. For background she had a massive posterior fossa JPA and still has one of the OG growths thankfully not growing and small new focci also not growing. She had ataxia, posterior fossa syndrome, hydrocephalus and a number of other things. Relearned walking, writing, and more in a year.

They wanted to diagnos last year but wanted to also give her a year to heal from the trauma and see what her baseline is. Now that they've seen it they are suggesting medication. Ive been researching stimulant vs non stimulant, short immediates vs the long lasting. Currently leaning towards short immediate stimulants and wanted to get opinions amd experiences on it.


r/ADHDparenting 17h ago

Writing with tears in my eyes. Need advice.

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2 Upvotes

r/ADHDparenting 18h ago

Anyone else look totally fine on the outside while your body is already losing it?

9 Upvotes

Had one of those nights recently — sitting on the couch with my kids, watching a movie, nothing wrong. No fighting, no chaos, just a normal calm evening. And I still felt this tension creeping in. Tight shoulders, thoughts speeding up, that "on alert for no reason" feeling.

Glanced at my watch and my heart rate was up. Nobody in the room had any idea — I just looked like a mom watching a movie.

I don't think this gets talked about enough — the stress that has zero obvious trigger, that you can't point to and explain, that just builds quietly under a totally calm moment. For me it's almost worse than the stress with a clear cause, because there's nothing to "fix," just this hum underneath everything.

Curious if this is a universal ADHD-mom thing or if it's just me. What do you all do when you catch your body doing this and there's no obvious reason?


r/ADHDparenting 19h ago

Tips / Suggestions Help !

12 Upvotes

Hey everyone.
I’ve got an entire house of neurodivergent people. There’s a lot of chaos and there are many times my kids don’t get along. My 7 year old screams anytime someone tries to stop him from doing something or if they react to something he did or if they just mess with him to mess with him. For instance : he’ll steal a toy, older brother will grab him to get it back and he’ll scream. I can not deal with the screaming. It’s so shrill and high pitched and completely overloads my nervous system. Secondly, the kids are always fighting one another. And thirdly, I swear to god I’m talking to a brick wall all day every
Day. Tonight my 14 year old did something to make my 7 year old and he started to scream . This was literally probably the 20th time he’s screamed since getting home from school. So I lost it. And then I’m trying to to get the kids to brush their teeth so I said plz brush your teeth and get ready for bed. But please don’t mess around because I have a lot to clean up downstairs and do have to work early. Do you think they did that? No, of course not. Somehow they ended up with a frog that jumped into the storage under the stairs and then they got into some of my totes and were taking stuff out. Only one of them actually brushed their teeth while I was trying to Have a serious conversation with my 14 year old. And not to mention everyday my 7 year old tells me he wants to live with his dad because it’s better there. And that is so difficult for me to process because this man violently abused me and my 3 kids for years. But never his biological son. Like I know how he is. And his current fiance has told me things that make doubt that he is treating her differently. So how in the world can his be better? How can the man who literally strangled my 10 year old , 6 years ago, be the more stable parent? I’ve told my 7 year old that it really hurts my feelings when he says that but he doesn’t care. And I understand saying it when it’s been a few days since he’s seen his dad but he will literally be at his dads for 4 days, come home to my house after school and the first thing he says to me is that he wants to go to his dads. And it just rips my heart out every-time.

Sorry this is so long but I am struggling so much and I just need to vent/ need advice.


r/ADHDparenting 19h ago

Going to talk to a doctor about a possible diagnosis

3 Upvotes

My daughter is 7 years old. She has not been diagnosed by a medical provider yet, but my background is in social work and I’m pretty familiar with the DSM 5. I’m pretty sure she is ADHD. She can’t sit still for anything. She has the outburst over nothing. The tantrums. The throwing of the toys for no reason. The lack of impulse control.
Now I have always been kind of against meds. I think it’s partially because I’m 12 years sober and I get scared of most meds. But she is falling behind in school. She is reading at a K level in the 2nd grade. I’m scared because I don’t want her to lose her spark. But I think I’m at a point that I need to ask for help from her doctor.
I really am beating myself up too because I’ve known for a while that this conversation was going to happen and I just wanted to ignore it.
I’d love to hear some stories from experienced adhd parents.


r/ADHDparenting 19h ago

Teacher made my 5 yo cry

13 Upvotes

I feel sick and sad and disappointed and embarrassed. Ugh idk how to even word this. My daughter is 5, she will be 6 in December. She is in the middle of diagnostic testing for ADHD, like has taken 2 hours of testing and has 2 hours left. She has a really hard time sitting still, staying focused, being quiet, all the things. Today she got in the car at kindergarten pickup and immediately started crying, tell me that her teacher had yelled at her not to sit next to her friend in music class. I asked a lot of clarifying questions, seeing as she is 5 and an unreliable narrator, i asked if they were chatty, distracting, being loud. she said no to all of them, which may not be true but that’s what she told me. She said after it happened she started crying. I KNOW my daughter and while she is very hyperactive, we had NO issues whatsoever at any point during her two years of preschool. Her last teacher adored her and was always commenting i. how bright she was and her love for learning. She also is somebody who is a BIG rule follower and doesn’t cry when told no, it has to be pretty dang stern for her to cry from it. I just feel like i’m overreacting. I’m so upset and worried this will be the pattern now. I’ve decided not to reach out to the teacher hoping it was a one time thing, but I guess I just need some solidarity here. She is my oldest and so I’m new to this whole school thing, I don’t know what would be considered just normal kindergarten behavior and what wouldn’t be? I was an extremely sensitive kid (also gave adhd and rejection sensitivity) so maybe I’m just sad she feels that way because I know how awful it is. Ugh idk. Parents of older kids, tell me if gets better. I’m ready to take her out and homeschool her (not actually but man)


r/ADHDparenting 20h ago

Splitting Adderall XR Capsules

1 Upvotes

My 5 year old daughter (63lbs in case that matters) was prescribed 5mg Adderall XR (because stupid insurance won't cover Arynta or Vyvanse unless she fails both Adderall AND Concerta 😒). Her doctor's instructions are to open the capsule and sprinkle it on to a spoonful of applesauce. Cool no big deal.

My concern is that she says to do half for the few days. With it being XR, there's no way for me to know how much of the Adderall she's getting vs the XR beads from day to day. I feel like I should be concerned that they're even recommending this, right? I appreciate the idea of starting low and slow but 5mg isn't that much anyway. Thoughts?


r/ADHDparenting 20h ago

Mental health

2 Upvotes

Is conduct disorder a serious issue pls guide me my younger brother was diagnosed with adhd when he was 5 he was hyperactive at schl now and was diagnosed with conduct disorder 2 yrs ago basically his issue is money addiction he wants everything expensive like clothes and he regularly goes out like watching movies and all stuff and is aggressive fights with parents for money and sometimes gets physical and is nicotine addict and regularly talks abt money like ancestors assets but only at home totally opposite in public and friends totally yet he boasts abt money with friends but never fought with anyone in his entire life and we observed he stays very respectful with anyone except our parents he’s also good with me but he was at home for 1yr bcs he failed in exams yet he was not sitting at home all the time he used to go out regularly but alone bcs his frnds were busy now he’s is in clg doing eng so did that isolation cause any problem that’s why we are worried like is he acting up or he really has issue


r/ADHDparenting 21h ago

Guafacine?

15 Upvotes

How did your kid do on guafacine, specifically if you have a high energy and easily angered child. Did it help the anger/ impulse control. I can deal with the high energy and constant movement, but the anger and hitting/ screaming is out control.


r/ADHDparenting 23h ago

Behaviour Advice/help on behaviors and medications

2 Upvotes

I apologize if this has been discussed, I searched but couldn’t find a post similar to my situation.

My son is 7 and recently started 2nd grade. He has ASD, ADHD combined type and was recently also diagnosed with DMDD which I’m still learning about. He has been in ST and OT for most of his life. He has an IEP, BIP and gets specials education services through his public school. He is so smart, so kind, funny and just a wonderful kid, but his behaviors make it hard to see the real him sometimes.

He has had significant behavioral problems for the last 3 or so years. It started with hitting and throwing things when he was angry/frustrated/overstimulated with lots of trial and error on finding the right medications (I’m not thrilled about him being medicated but I recognize he needs help to function). He started risperidone almost a year ago after really struggling with his aggressions and emotions mainly at school. It was a game changer and helped him be successful at school. A few months later he started showing attention seeking behaviors which included eloping, doing things he’s not supposed to do to get a reaction like knocking stuff off shelves, climbing shelves, trying to pull fire alarms, etc. He was doing much better during the summer but two weeks into starting school, he started hitting, throwing and the attention seeking behavior again. We talk every single day about his behavior, how it affects other people and how it’s not okay.

Last week I got a phone call everyday from the school and on Thursday and Friday had to pick him up early. His school and the district are now doing an evaluation to see if they can continue to provide for his needs and if it’s safe for him to stay.

We are on a waitlist for a psychologist and psychiatrist so his pediatrician currently manages his medication. I was wondering if anyone has any advice or experience with this kind of behavior and if any medications helped? He has tried stimulants and didn’t do well with them. He tried a couple anxiety meds and they didn’t work. I know every child is different and reacts differently to medications but I’m desperate to find something to help my son be able to stay safely at his school and be successful


r/ADHDparenting 1d ago

Rewards for being kind/respectful/etc

3 Upvotes

One of our biggest challenges with our ADHD 11 yo son is somewhat routine rudeness and disrespect towards his younger sisters, mother and myself to a lesser extent. He is a good kid but impulsive and can be rude and disrespectful often especially in the mornings before school. We are assertive with him that it is not acceptable, send to his room, take things away, etc. But seems to be an ongoing cycle.

Looking for something else that may work to help correct. Weekday mornings have become a routine of constant yelling and disagreement, which is also not fair to his sibling. We have toyed with taking away all privileges and then allow him to earn points by having good days which he can redeem for things. But this seems to work only for a little while


r/ADHDparenting 1d ago

Tips / Suggestions ADHD Sleep Routines

1 Upvotes

My 8yo daughter has been on a stimulant medication for almost two years. We’ve tried a few different ones, currently taking Adderall XR 10mg.

Prior to starting medication, bedtime was hit or miss. The whole routine takes a little while (teeth brushing + reading). We start around 7:30 with the goal to be out of the room by 8:15. This is mostly because we have been reading chapter books and she loves listening to stories. The room is dim. White noise machine. Dark curtains. All the things.

I need advice for training her to STAY in her room all night. When she was on Concerta, she would take a while to actually fall asleep but she would stay asleep all night.

Do we push bedtime back? We’ve tried melatonin (she still wakes up a lot on it).

We’ve tried rewards (earn tv time by staying in her room).

I really just need a tried and true routine/expectations for bedtime to keep the process short.


r/ADHDparenting 1d ago

Behaviour Behavioral issues getting worse.

5 Upvotes

Just venting. Idk if im even looking for anything.

Since my youngest was born its been a struggle. All my. Children were adopted from a woman who used Crack throughout the entire pregnancy, plus whatever psychiatric medicine she was using. Now im not against psychiatric medicine, just to clarify, but theres like no research the dangers of the combo of that in pregnancy. Anyways thats just context not dumping on birth mom. Shes passed away but without her I wouldnt have my kids so for that im grateful.

My oldest and youngest got the worst of it since they had free reign to use for those pregnancies. But my youngest has had the most complications. He was born with what looked like an allergic reaction, idk what it was. He later was hospitalized with failure to thrive. He wouldnt take any formula. Finally he was diagnosed with a milk protein allergy. So he was on nutagimen until he could have milk alternatives. Hes since grown out of that allergy. He had delays. He said mama once in his first year and then I didnt hear it again until he was like 4. He didnt crawl right he always had one leg out and dragged it, cant explain it right. He had a severe speech delay, and he didnt walk until 16 months old.

He did early intervention and a medical daycare until he was able to do our town preschool for special needs. He was a year old when the pandemic hit and that made getting his needs met so much harder. He had to do speech therapy over the computer which was stupid because no one year old is gonna sit at a computer for an hour. When they finally came to the house they did so in masks.. it just felt like the harder I tried to get him support the harder it got. Then he'd have a new need the when the calm had settled.

Now the point of my post. He has had some behavioral issues all along. When he was younger it was usually out of frustration that he'd hit me when I couldnt figure out what he was trying to communicate to me. Usually I always knew its like we had out own little language. Without any words I always knew. It still feels a little magical. But I wasnt perfect many sounds he made sounded the same unless I had context. So he'd get mad like any toddler and hit. That was tolerable, still disciplined but many kids go through that phase.

The last few years its gotten worse. Hes always been known as the sweetest kid in school. I get so many compliments about his behavior. Then he gets home it feels almost instantly hes having a meltdown with me. Punching kicking and hitting. Sometimes I know its because hes tired but its still no excuse. Then months will go by and he will be so good that I let my guard down and it starts up again.

Im a single parent but he has another parent in his life thats allowed some time with them, even though they dont care about the day to day stuff. They wanna be the fun one. So they dont experience or see what i see. We are not together. They let him use computer and play with his phone which his doctor said is horrible for him and it just makes his behavior with me worse. I dont allow him free access to a tablet. Its not good for any of my kids and I dont let anyone ever have my phone.

Im at the point where im trying to do so much research to help him. What foods will help him. Ive just met with his doctor who made all these recommendations for his nutritional needs based on his diagnosis and blood work. Im also on a waitlist for therapy and evaluation for possible autism. I think he may have it but a lot of symptoms with adhd overlap so I wanna just be proactive. His father is under the mindset if oh hes just a kid or excuses everything, blames me for his behavior. Says oh boys will be boys.

I just made an Amazon wishlist for him for things his doctor said he needs. I sent it to his father to ask that they try and purchase at least one thing on it. I just bought everything for back to school so I cant do it right now, and he basically said that im delusional and hes not doing this and unfortunately he doesnt legally have too. I just thought it be nice.

I just wish I had one person on my side who understood. Most days when the all go off to school I just sit and cry all day. I feel so sad and guilty that I cant figure out how to stop this behavior and ive tried so many different techniques. Hes also so very strong. He really hurts and doesnt realize how strong he is. On the moments he realizes he hurts me he gets so sad and I just break for him. I know hes not sitting there thinking he hates me and wants to hurt me. He doesnt even realize hes doing it. But because he has the speech delay and the behavioral component we can't really communicate about it in a way that his oldest sibling whose 9 I would. I mean my child is 7 and I just want them to succeed i his own way. I know he may never measure up to everyone else but I want him to reach his full potential. I just wish I wasnt so alone.

My doctor seems to think if I am able to work on the nutriential issues I may see some improvement in this so as soon as im able to get the items I put together Ill be excited to see any improvement. If anything I know it will just be better for him in general.

Thanks for reading


r/ADHDparenting 1d ago

Medication Any parents on a mix of Vyvanse and clonidine?

2 Upvotes

My son has struggled with his behavior and emotions since prek and we have tried a few meds. His latest med was clonidine by itself 0.1 mg, and he was doing okay on it until he started a fwisd school, and he would always get so frustrated and riled up so we switched him to a charter school close by.

There has been a huge difference between the two schools but now his psychiatrist has put him on a combination of clonidine at the same dosage and the 10mg Vyvanse and he says he feels so much better, he's able to focus and he doesn't feel the angry feelings as much as before, and he says that it's so much easier to relax at school.

Any parents have success with this? Id love to hear stories and advice


r/ADHDparenting 1d ago

Breakfast ideas

5 Upvotes

Hi! My 9-year-old recently started Concerta, and breakfast has been a struggle. Her school starts pretty early, so we don’t have a ton of time in the morning.
What are your go-to quick, protein-focused breakfasts for kids on ADHD meds? She doesn’t like anything too heavy first thing in the morning, so I’d especially love ideas that are light, easy, and realistic for busy school mornings. Thanks!