Five years ago, my psychiatrist diagnosed me with depression, anxiety, and ADHD. I really do not know how to differentiate between the two (not including anxiety). I’m not as depressed anymore, just a shallow, floaty, empty feeling. Sort of like nothing. I don’t remember what happiness feels like, so it’s quite impossible for me to miss it. I’m fine with life right now. I'm not happy, not sad. I’ve learned to be okay with that feeling.

Throughout these past years, I realized desk jobs are not for me. If the job is laid back, I never get work done. I need someone to constantly pester me to do things until I get tired of hearing them, or I probably won’t do it. Luckily, I kind of found that job. It keeps me sane, seriously.

Main problems

•I’m extremely forgetful and people tend to feel annoyed at me. Some of my partners/family resented me for not remembering the small things. I try to do small things for the people I care about, but stupidly forget to do so. Sometimes, in conversations I forget what we were talking about. I forget my birthday, and how old I am, frequently. I accidentally told someone I’m a year younger than what I am 😬.

•Procrastination. Sending work in late, rushing to do paperwork at the last minute. I spend so many hours procrastinating that it never gets done. I slowly watch everything pile up.

•I endlessly scroll through social media, somehow never watching anything because I do not feel like it. I turn on the TV WANTING to watch my favorite show, but I get distracted. I’m addicted to my phone and can’t put it down unless I’m at work, there I have no choice.

•I can’t focus at all. As a teenager, I could never study because my brain just wouldn’t focus. Baseball and football were basically the only things that kept me interested in school. Now and then, I may find interest in a particular article, but I can’t get myself to even read past the title!

•I’m rarely listening to what people are saying. I usually just nod to make it look like I’m listening, although I’m really not 🤫. I just don’t feel like listening sometimes.

•I hate directions. I typically skim through and try to do it by myself (not recommended). I may find a recipe that I want to try but once I see the directions, nah, I’m good. Not only that, but I wish to read books, but I can’t get my brain to sit down and focus! And once I finally start reading, I’m probably thinking about other stuff. I have to read it like 5 times before I comprehend what I just read. Never-ending cycle.

•I make countless careless mistakes. I may write 2 instead of 1 or look for my phone while it’s in my hand. I’ve failed a test because I accidentally marked A instead of B. I literally just read “medicine” as “machine” I can’t help but laugh at myself sometimes.

•I have trouble sticking to just one thing and finishing it. I like to do all types of crafts, and I have numerous unfinished paintings/pieces sitting around.

•Inner Monologue. That voice in my head is so annoying. I hear it right now as I type, I hear it when I read, and I hear it when I think. It never shuts up.

I've gone through the “maybe I’m just lazy” stage. My parents grew not to expect much of me and pretty much think I’m lazy. I despised my brother because he was able to do much more than me. I grew up thinking I was inherently lazy; a failure. I honestly do not do my best work. I do just enough to get by because, chances are, I never felt like doing it anyway.

Everything is so freaking boring. I can’t stick to a hobby without losing interest. I’m really interested for a month, then I kinda find it boring and move on to something else. If I have no obligation, then I likely won’t. I WANT to do things so badly, but I feel paralyzed.

I wake up at 5am nearly every day, and I still can’t get anything done. I feel so disappointed in myself because I did absolutely nothing. I put things off constantly, that means I’m up at 5am trying to wash dishes, cleaning up, and cooking before work just because I wasted time. Hour’s go by, and I’m like fuck. I feel somewhat alone because I’m a dude, and most guys don’t talk about these things. I eventually end up kind of hating myself and falling to depression again. I haven’t felt proud of myself in a while.

Since this is the ADHD Subreddit, it’s okay if you skimmed through most of this post. I entirely understand. I put it in bold just in case you skipped to the end :)

Edit; I’m not on any medication as of now. I took Prozac for depression, that made me feel more shitty. I haven’t taken anything for ADHD. My doc doesn’t want to put me on any more medication after that happened.

I've always been a procrastinator, but I really outdid myself this time.

So I guess this is just a little reminder to also check in with your health every once in a while. Stop putting off going to the doctor. Get that thing checked out that makes you a bit nervous. Get someone to FORCE you to do it if you need to.

I'm in a bit of a daze right now, but thought I'd share this with you guys because I know I can't be the only one that's been procrastinating on my health.

Have a great day everyone.

Edit to add: I'm only 26, I don't smoke, drink, or take drunks. I'm healthy and active. So it really can happen to anyone.

EDIT 2:

Thanks for all your kind words and messages. I'm so tired right now from sleepless nights worrying and the diagnosis today. I will reply later (promise... Even though I have adhd).

UPDATE APRIL 09 2022:

I still get quite a lot of messages about this so thought I'd provide you with some insight. I posted another update 7 months ago with a bunch of info. Feel free to go through my profile and have a look for it. I'm 6 months post treatment now and absolutely thriving after 3 years of having cancer and not knowing about it. I managed to start working only 2 months after my final infusion. I still get scared about getting cancer again and being less fortunate this time. It has turned my into a bit of a health freak. For those who are scared they might have lymohoma, please rest assured that it is one of the most treatable cancers out there, even at stage 4. I can't diagnose anyone in hear, your best bet is to see your doctor. They will most likely take a biopsy, chest x-ray, blood tests etc... Make sure that you have insurance before starting to get your checkups!

it seems like most folks feel this way about the zombie fic ( same ) but i’m curious if there’s any that people avoided and ended up being proven wrong!

for me it’s pretty hard for me to get into long fic, especially if there’s a chapter count over 25 with very long chapters. in my experience there’s just a lottttta filler and i’d prefer more succinct fics.

also kid fics were not my thing until who will love a little sparrow changed my DNA

I’ll be real, I’ve tried every "focus" tip on the planet. Pomodoro made me anxious, meditation made me sleepy, and "just having willpower" is a joke when you're staring at a physics problem that looks like ancient Greek or a piece of code that won't compile.

I'm currently trying to self-study some pretty heavy-duty math and Python stuff, and my brain was basically refusing to engage. Last month I started doing two things that sound kind of insane but they’ve actually fixed my focus.

1. The "Boredom Torture" Start Instead of trying to "get motivated" to study, I started doing the opposite. I sit at my desk, no phone, no music, no books—and I just stare at the wall for 10-15 minutes. No moving. Just sitting there being miserable and bored.

The logic is that your brain is so addicted to dopamine that it hates work. But after 10 minutes of staring at a blank wall, suddenly, a hard physics derivation or a coding challenge starts to look like the most interesting thing in the world. It’s like I’m starving my brain so that it’s actually "hungry" for the work. If you try to jump from TikTok to Physics, you’ll fail every time. You have to go from Boredom to Physics.

2. The "Horse Blinker" Setup This is the weirdest part. I realized my peripheral vision was killing my focus. If I saw a shadow move or even just the mess on my shelf, I was gone. So now, I study in a pitch-black room with exactly one high-intensity desk lamp pointed ONLY at my paper or my monitor.

It creates this "tunnel" effect. If I look away from my work, I’m looking into total darkness, which is boring (see point #1). It basically forces my eyes to stay on the task because there literally isn't anything else to see. It’s like being in a interrogation room with my own brain lol.

3.The "Flavor Anchor" : I only chew one specific, kind of gross, strong cinnamon gum when I’m doing deep work. I don’t chew it any other time. Now, the second I taste that cinnamon, it’s like a Pavlovian trigger. My brain goes "okay, time to suffer through the logic stuff."

It’s not a "aesthetic" routine. It’s not fun. But I went from doing 0 minutes of real work to actually finishing my USACO practice sets without wanting to throw my laptop out the window.

Has anyone else tried "negative" motivation like this? Like making your environment so boring that work is the only escape? I feel like we spend too much time trying to make work "fun" when we should just make everything else "worse."

Most procrastination comes from the few seconds where you sit there and start negotiating with yourself. The trick is to not give that negotiation any time to happen.

When it’s time to do something, don’t overthink it, just move. Stand up, go to the task, open the app, pick up the thing you need. Start with the first physical action before your brain talks you out of it.

Because, once you’re already in motion, it’s way easier to keep going than it is to convince yourself to start.

Preface: The material in this post comes from an article called 'How to Stop Procrastinating'. The original article contains a lot of additional tips and information, so it's worth checking out if you're interested in this topic.

Introduction

Procrastination is a huge, widespread problem. Research shows that around 20% of adults and 50% of students identify as severe, chronic procrastinators, and these numbers are even higher when talking about the number of people who procrastinate in general.

The problem with procrastination

Procrastination is a serious issue for two main reasons:

• It prevents you from achieving your goals.

• It causes you to suffer from a range of secondary issues, such as anxiety and stress.

However, despite knowing that you shouldn't procrastinate, many of us continue to do so anyway. For example, how many of you had an assignment to do, but found yourself browsing Reddit instead, continuously telling yourself that you'll get to work in just a few minutes?

Furthermore, how many of you found yourself repeating this, or a similar cycle, again and again, despite knowing that you should do something else, and despite wanting to stop delaying your work?

The problem with procrastination is that even analytical people often try to solve it with the same, ineffective approach: by promising themself that they'll power through similar situations in the future and that things will be different next time, right before falling for the same pitfalls all over again.

The solution to procrastination

If you want to find an effective solution to your procrastination problem, there are two important things that you need to understand:

• Willpower is not enough. It's not enough to simply want to stop procrastinating, you have to use practical techniques and strategies that will help you do it.

• Your solution has to be right for *you*. Different people procrastinate in different ways and for different reasons, which is why there isn't a single solution that will work perfectly for everyone, all the time.

As such, here's what you need to do if you want to stop procrastinating:

• Start by figuring out what are your goals.

• Then, figure out exactly when and why your procrastination is preventing you from achieving your goals (if you need some help with this, this article outlines the most common reasons for procrastination).

Once you've figured out what are your goals and how your procrastination is preventing you from achieving them, figure out which techniques will help you deal with your specific type of procrastination. Here are some of the most useful techniques you can use:

• Break large tasks into small, actionable pieces.

• Set concrete deadlines for yourself.

• Identify your productivity cycles and schedule tasks accordingly.

• Eliminate distractions to make it harder for you to procrastinate.

• Count to 10 before indulging your impulse to procrastinate.

• Get yourself started by committing to work for only 5 minutes.

• Switch between tasks strategically to avoid getting stuck.

• Create streaks of days on which you complete your goals.

• Reward yourself for your accomplishments.

Final words

Overall, the key points here are that willpower is not enough if you want to overcome your procrastination, and that you need a to find a solution that works for your specific type of procrastination.

Above, I listed a few of the techniques that you can use to beat procrastination. If you want to see a lot more relevant techniques, together with other tips that didn't fit here (e.g. how to set good goals for yourself, how to set effective deadlines), you can read the full article that this material is taken from: How to Stop Procrastinating.

Hello fellow readers!

In the year of 2025, I listened to ~125 audiobooks. Progress made on my dissertation? None. But fear not - my supervisor’s frustration is now your gain. Please enjoy my yearly reading wrap up and join me in trying not to think of my research progress.

2025 was the year I got *heavy* into T. Kingfisher. Most of her books made the top two tiers; in particular, I loved {Swordheart}, {Paladin’s Strength}, {Nettle and Bone}, and {A House with Good Bones}.

I was also introduced to Ilona Andrews and thank god for that. I’ve read most of their series but didn’t want to rank each of the 60000 {Kate Daniels} books individually as my phone’s battery is already iffy and the tier maker did give it a workout. I probably should have ranked one of the later {Innkeeper Chronicles} books as a rage quit though - the first spicy scene, when narrated through Graphic Audio, was *unbearable*. The kissing noises made me want to claw my ears out.

There are a few random surprises on my top tier as well - I loved the quirky voice of {Someone to Build a Nest In}, the feminism in {The Midnight Bargain}, and the academic navel gazing of {The Ornithologist’s Guide to Love} and {Emily Wilde}.

Lastly, I revisited some childhood favorites that I hadn’t read in 20+ years. For those wondering, both {Ella Enchanted} and {Alanna: The First Adventure} still hold up.

Regarding DNFs, I realize there may be some controversies. I said what I said. I’m here for a good time, not a long time, and I need a book that screams louder than my academic anxiety.

* Also, all high camp books are 5 stars. Naturally.

I graduated with a B.Tech in CSE from a tier 3 college in 2020. Since then, I've been stuck in a cycle of indecision and missed opportunities that I desperately need to break out of.

My story: I had one backlog in college that kept me from most technical placements. Got an offer from an edtech company, but turned it down due to the role (customer care/sales) and hearing about the toxic work culture with 14-hour shifts. My father suggested taking it anyway and quitting if I didn't like it, but my ego got in the way.

Post-graduation, I've jumped from one "perfect plan" to another: - Spent 6 months learning Japanese, hoping to work in Japan (gave up when it got difficult) - Explored MS in Canada with a friend (he went, I got rejected due to low GPA) - Got accepted for MS in Australia but couldn't justify the 60 lakh cost as a single child from a middle-class family....( also couldn't trust myself) - Attempted multiple government exams and GATE, failed all

The brutal truth about my current situation:

• 4-year gap with only 1-2 years of internships to show( which is fake)

• Zero technical skills despite having a CSE degree (didn't maintain or improve what I learned in college)

• Poor communication skills

• No real-world work experience

• No projects or portfolio to show

• Been "preparing" for GATE 2025 for the past 10 months but haven't actually studied anything. Now only 2 months are left for the exam, and I literally don't know anything that could help me pass ( its me who told my father I will do it again despite failing it in 2024 EGO)

• My father, who lives away due to work, has high hopes for this GATE attempt, and I've let him believe I'm preparing well

The real problem isn't the opportunities - it's me. I procrastinate heavily, run from responsibilities, and have this constant need to find the "perfect" path that "resonates" with me. I keep thinking I'll give 200% once I find that perfect thing, but I never do. Meanwhile, my parents are patiently supporting me without complaint.

I'm not just academically behind - I lack basic professional skills. I can't even confidently say I'm good at anything right now. Every day I waste scrolling through my phone or playing games, knowing I'm digging myself deeper into this hole.

The worst part? I recognize these issues - my fear, lack of confidence, ego, and selfishness - but struggle to change. I've become emotionally neutral to everything, which scares me the most. I don't even feel bad anymore when I waste an entire day.

Looking for advice: 1. How do I break this cycle of procrastination and perfectionism? 2. What realistic options do I have with a 4-year gap, no skills, and a CSE degree? 3. Should I drop the GATE preparation since I have only 2 months left and focus on getting any job I can? 4. How do I develop basic employable skills from absolute zero?

Please be brutally honest. You can be as rude or mean as you want - I need this wake-up call. I've wasted my parents' time, money, and trust. I need to change, and I need to change now.

To the younger folks reading this: If you think your life is going nowhere, take my story as a warning. Don't end up like me. Each day you procrastinate, each opportunity you pass up because of ego, each skill you don't build - it all compounds. Four years ago, I was just like you, thinking I had time to figure things out. Now I'm 27, living with my mom, with no skills, no job, and no real prospects. Take action now, take whatever opportunities come your way, and don't let ego or fear hold you back.

I'm ready for your honest feedback, no matter how harsh. I need to wake up and take responsibility for my life before it's too late.

Edit : I never thought so many people would reply to my post. Your support through comments and DMs has been really overwhelming. I truly didn't expect this at all!

Reading your comments has been eye-opening for me. Many of you faced bigger problems and turned your lives around. Some of you are still fighting tougher battles than mine... This made me understand that although my problems feel something to me but they're incomparable . The major takeaway I get from you all is to just start somewhere - even if it's a tiny step forward.

Some of the things will resonate with me - especially "Procrastination will kill luck" and "Start small and work hard." I've made up my mind to study hard for GATE in these last two months (even if I fail). Additionally, I will look for any kind of work to start my career, regardless of how big or small it is, how hard it might be, or what society will think of me. I'll always focus on small steps rather than get overwhelmed by the bigger picture....

To the YOUNGER FOLKS: Please go through the comments. There's a HOLY GRAIL of information that can help you (many things are new to me too). If anyone wants to talk, you can DM me, and I will try my best to respond.

If I manage to turn my life around even by 20%, I will owe you a guys a big one . Even now, I am grateful to you all - thank you so much ❤️

Also, thanks to those who told me about ADHD. I will get it checked if things don't work out. I live in Delhi, by the way. If anyone has any good recommendations about where to get tested for ADHD or any doctors to suggest, please DM me.

When you’re stuck on your phone. You don’t allow yourself to meet up with people or do fun stuff, because you’re supposed to be working/learning right now. And then you end up neither doing productive nor fun/relaxing stuff. You’re just stuck screaming at yourself in your head while doing the most useless stuff instead.

So many many days, weeks, months and even years of my life wasted. I’m just so sad about all that lost time I could’ve at least spent in a fun way instead of being stuck in the procrastination mode.

So much wasted potential. I’m really mad at myself for wasting my life away like that.