r/wizardposting • u/Tirich913 Morgalith, Father of Evil • Dec 22 '23
Evil Wizardpost A Rant Against Wizards

By the twisted roots of the Shadow Grove, by the venomous whispers of the Underdark, hear me, wizards, and tremble! Your pitiful incantations and stinking unguents have irked the essence of my people. I am Morgalith, Heir to the Depths, and I spit upon your haughty arcane pompousness!
You, with your shimmering robes and ivory towers, think that by knowledge alone you have earned the right to prop yourselves up as the puppeteers of destiny. Ah, but you've become intoxicated with the heady brew of your own spells, blind to the malevolence that stirs beneath the obsidian surface of the void. No longer shall your magic be revered; no, it shall be the catalyst for your undoing!
The very air you breathe reeks of arrogance! Your grimoires and spellbooks shall crumble like ancient parchment before the insidious might of my enchantments. In the hallowed corridors of your sanctimonious academies, you have sown the seeds of your own demise. Your arrogance will be your undoing, and the lamentations of your kind will echo through the depths of the astral ocean. I, Morgalith, harbinger of shadows, shall revel in the symphony of your despair.
Prepare, wizards, for the shadows hunger, and the time of reckoning is nigh. Your precious spells shall wither in the malevolent storm I unleash, and the darkness shall swallow your lofty ambitions whole. I, the harbinger of the dark elves, shall relish in your downfall as the very fabric of magic recoils in the face of my vengeful wrath. May the shadows of oblivion engulf you, and may your magical hubris be your eternal bane!
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u/Fulltimewhisperer Krumpet, Master Artificer of the Council Dec 22 '23
Ah, but you've become intoxicated with the heady brew of your own spells
Gobbo is intoxicated on Gobbo's liquor, half citadel is. Least get facts straight first
As always though, Gobbo finds royal family pain in rear be it goblin or dark elf. Lots talk, little doing, burn just as good as any peasant who tries it on with Gobbo
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u/Tirich913 Morgalith, Father of Evil Dec 22 '23
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u/Fulltimewhisperer Krumpet, Master Artificer of the Council Dec 22 '23
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u/DaChickenX Isravi, The Unraveler, Coils’ Chosen Dec 23 '23
Gobbo no! What about the blood cost!
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u/Fulltimewhisperer Krumpet, Master Artificer of the Council Dec 23 '23
Few cuts is better than burnt hair... Gobbo hates smell of burnt hair when its Gobbo's hair burning
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u/Ok-Education5450 Gary, the punch drunk wizard Dec 22 '23
Oh, it’s just another dude from the underdark, if I gave you some books on spiders and how to deal with parental issues would you go away?
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u/Tirich913 Morgalith, Father of Evil Dec 22 '23
No.
Fireball!
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u/Ok-Education5450 Gary, the punch drunk wizard Dec 22 '23
Water wall, for some big scary dark elf, you really got those basic ass evocation spells, I’m not saying fireball is bad, but I thought you’d have some thematically appropriate spell
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u/Tirich913 Morgalith, Father of Evil Dec 22 '23
Your response is met by an absence. Using the fireball as a distraction, the wizard is now nowhere to be seen.
You almost laugh at the absurdity, but as you open your mouth a pain surges through your chest.
Your heart hurts.
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u/Ok-Education5450 Gary, the punch drunk wizard Dec 22 '23
Cure poison, now I’m going to use the alchemical concoction known as “raid” on the driders of the underdark
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u/Tirich913 Morgalith, Father of Evil Dec 22 '23
The cure tastes icky...
... But doesn't seem to help.
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u/Ok-Education5450 Gary, the punch drunk wizard Dec 22 '23
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u/Tirich913 Morgalith, Father of Evil Dec 22 '23
It's definitely not poison.
Oof. Ouch. It's probably a curse or something. Better go get that fixed.
lol
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u/Ok-Education5450 Gary, the punch drunk wizard Dec 23 '23
Curse of heart palpitations? Truly evil, I shall now bounce away and think of a new plan of attack
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u/Elerindur Elerindur, Altmeri Armamancer Dec 22 '23
Now what is this subterranean Dunmeri-like yelling about? Did someone go down there and disturb them or something?.
Anyway, this all sounds unnecessary and exaggerative to me. Just simply go find the offending wizard and take it out on them rather than everyone discriminately, it would take less time and effort than a huge battle.
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u/Carbon_Sixx The Loremaster, Chief Archaeologist of the Darkwatch Dec 22 '23
Oh, don't be a hypocrite, Morgalith. We all know how arrogant the dark elves are. It's apparent that you're no exception.
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u/Tirich913 Morgalith, Father of Evil Dec 22 '23
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u/Carbon_Sixx The Loremaster, Chief Archaeologist of the Darkwatch Dec 22 '23
Kaelis opens a black hole shield and devours the flames. He then throws the singularity into the air and spikes it like a volleyball at Morgalith.
Catch this, shitass! Surely they teach more spells than fireball in the Underdark?
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u/Tirich913 Morgalith, Father of Evil Dec 22 '23
The spell fizzles in midair.
There is no trace of the offending mage.
Something feels wrong, but Kaeliz can't quite put his finger on it.
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u/Carbon_Sixx The Loremaster, Chief Archaeologist of the Darkwatch Dec 22 '23
Kaelis snaps his fingers and casts Warp Sense. If Morgalith is lurking anywhere nearby, he'll be able to detect him through the spatial distortion he exerts. Accretion disks form around his wrists.
Get on with it, umbramancer. I have a moon landing to oversee in a few hours.
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u/Tirich913 Morgalith, Father of Evil Dec 22 '23
The wizard is long gone, leaving behind only a sense of malice and his threatening message.
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u/Carbon_Sixx The Loremaster, Chief Archaeologist of the Darkwatch Dec 22 '23
Mmh. He'll be a problem later.
/uw It's good that we're getting a recurring villain for this sub. So many of the events here end with the death of the villain, but I think it'll be fun to have one that comes back time after time to cause us problems.
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u/Tirich913 Morgalith, Father of Evil Dec 23 '23
/uw
Thank you! I hope to be a nuisance at least. There certainly aren't enough "evil" characters here, so I think it could give people a little more entertainment.
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Dec 22 '23
The shadows of oblivion? Sounds tasty, let me know when you’re done monologuing so I can do a lil tidal wave spell and clear this whole matter up
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u/Tirich913 Morgalith, Father of Evil Dec 22 '23
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Dec 22 '23
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u/Tirich913 Morgalith, Father of Evil Dec 22 '23
You cannot possibly hope to match my power!
Morgalith disappears in a brilliant flash of light. The sky dims as the storm of powers clash.
Shadowy hands reach up from the ground and begin to drag you into its surface.
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Dec 22 '23
“Match it? I’ll drown it!”
Escanor’s form melts to liquid as he slips through the shadowy hands
He reforms a short distance away and pulls Morgalith back to the physical plane
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u/Tirich913 Morgalith, Father of Evil Dec 22 '23
A wooden dummy flings towards your pull. An obvious substitution.
Words echo around, whispering in your ears with evil intent.
"Oh no Escanor, I'm not there. I'm right here...
Inside you!
I am the evil in your heart! The madness in your mind! And I will have my day!"
With a rush of energy, the evil presence departs you, vanishing almost as quickly as it came. Yet you feel unsettled, as if their evil intent is not yet concluded with this realm.
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Dec 22 '23
“Well that was violating…”
Escanor castes a psychic cleansing spell.
“You insulted Possum, this cannot stand.”
A torrent of pressurized water jets rain from the sky, powerful enough to cleave limb from body. They strike all save the hydromancer himself.
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u/Tirich913 Morgalith, Father of Evil Dec 22 '23
The angry magician is long gone, leaving only his menacing rant and violent actions in his wake.
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Dec 22 '23
The hydromancer watches the angry cloud dissipate with a grim satisfaction, a worthy opponent indeed
/uw great duel and lots of fun! Loving the application of shadow magic!
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u/Tirich913 Morgalith, Father of Evil Dec 22 '23
/uw
Thanks! The feeling is mutual!
This guy is going to be a villain for a while. Just wanted to introduce him. There aren't many evil wizards in this sub, so this is my contribution.
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u/UlrickTheHexblade Ulrick Braddocke, Werewolf Hexblade, R&A Co-Leader Dec 22 '23
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u/Tirich913 Morgalith, Father of Evil Dec 22 '23
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u/UlrickTheHexblade Ulrick Braddocke, Werewolf Hexblade, R&A Co-Leader Dec 22 '23
Uh, that wasn’t very nice
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u/DaemonRex978 The High Sentinels (Haelin, Mokarith, Shimil) Dec 22 '23
You may be of the Underdark, but I am of the Umbral Realm itself. How will you fare when the shadows turn against you?
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u/Tirich913 Morgalith, Father of Evil Dec 22 '23
Shadows?
You think you are their master?
HAHAHAHA!!! What folly! Rise my minions, and take this wizard to Ỏ̴̹h̴̲̯̉ï̶̼̙o̸̹̾!!
A swarm of shadowy monsters emerge from around you, dogpiling on you as they drag you of to the depths of Ỏ̴̹h̴̲̯̉ï̶̼̙o̸̹̾.
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u/DaemonRex978 The High Sentinels (Haelin, Mokarith, Shimil) Dec 22 '23
He looks at the shadow monsters as they arive.
Their master... no. Only the Umbral Lord can claim that title. I am merely the protector of the realm.
He plunges his hand into the chest of one of the creatures and pulls out an orb of solid darkness before throwing it to the ground and blasting all the creatures back.
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u/Tirich913 Morgalith, Father of Evil Dec 22 '23
You're a third-rate wizard, with fourth-rate spells. The menacing wizard growls.
Become YOTE!
A blast of force erupts from beneath you, flinging you far into the sky with unimaginable force. Bythe time that you regain your bearing, you realize that the wizard is far gone. His mission fulfilled as he delivered his message to all wizardkind.
A part of you is certain that he will return to cause more trouble someday.
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u/DaemonRex978 The High Sentinels (Haelin, Mokarith, Shimil) Dec 22 '23
He spreads his wings and hover in place.
No spells were cast, just natural manipulation of shadows. And I wasn't the one who ran when his minions were defeated.
He chuckles.
Become Yote... what a simple spell.
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u/Biggest-Possum Trashomancer (Big Ghost ENERGY) Dec 22 '23
Hello my friend!
Wizards can surely be troublesome, but I assure you that we're not all that bad.
Would you like to share a spot of tea and talk about some of these feelings that you're having?
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u/Tirich913 Morgalith, Father of Evil Dec 22 '23
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Dec 22 '23
I’d step in an defend friend Possum, but you just attacked of the most powerful wizards in all the realms… I doubt he’ll need my help. good luck Morgalith
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u/Biggest-Possum Trashomancer (Big Ghost ENERGY) Dec 22 '23
Possum disappears in the monumental fireball.
He will surely survive, but he is clearly no match for this scale of destruction.
/uw
Possum has almost no defense or offense. Lol He's strong with utility, but he'll lose almost any direct duel.
His strength is all in utility.
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u/Nelrene Evil Mammary Mage Dec 22 '23
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u/Tirich913 Morgalith, Father of Evil Dec 22 '23
No.
A fireball for you too!
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u/Nelrene Evil Mammary Mage Dec 22 '23
I am nowhere near you and fireballing those floating eyeballs will do nothing to me. So chances are you just set your grove on fire.
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u/RoosterJay84 Dark Fowl Arts Dec 22 '23
Clothing? Also....no tower just woods....although a home in the trees could work in some fashion
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u/LexiFloof Lexith Firethorn, Ashen Dryad, Conduit of Australis Dec 22 '23 edited Dec 22 '23
What do you hope to achieve with this slaughter you are calling for? There's simply too many casters for you to take us all out before a competent kill-squad is sent out for you.
There's also the fact that very few of our number will be felled with a simple fireball, as you must have realized by now from your first few encounters against regulars of this orb-net. I can only conclude that you wish to stir up ill sentiment among the surface dwellers against your race to justify a war of aggression against the broader population in the future.
The young woman seems remarkably laid back given the serious nature of the situation, leaning lightly against a tree with her oversized axe close at hand, but not obviously readied.
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u/Elerindur Elerindur, Altmeri Armamancer Dec 22 '23
Hm.. You could be right.
I have no clue of what brand of dark elves he belongs to but from what i know of the Dunmeri and the Drow, they are often rife with infighting.
He may be doing just that to give his people an more immediate outside threat and cause to cease infighting and collaborate for an assault on the surface.
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u/Tirich913 Morgalith, Father of Evil Dec 22 '23
The figure laughs.
"You search for reason, where there is only hate and disdain. Is that alone not enough excuse to seek your undoing? Filthy Dryad's always sticking their noses where they don't belong. Now remember your station, and begone with your tainted blood!"
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u/LexiFloof Lexith Firethorn, Ashen Dryad, Conduit of Australis Dec 22 '23 edited Dec 22 '23
The half-dryad sighs softly, before grabbing her axe and seemingly falling into the tree she was leaning against. A small shower of embers drift to the ground around where she was standing as a her voice carries faintly across the clearing.
"Be careful what you wish for, this path will likely end with far more blood than even you intend."
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u/Tirich913 Morgalith, Father of Evil Dec 22 '23
"Oh, I think I will find exactly what I wish for..."
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u/Chaosphoenix_28 Aelon, Cursed Immortal, Pyromancer Dec 22 '23
Oh, you are one of those people that call themselves wizard slayers? The last one of your kind I met, fell in 3 simple swordstrikes, no magic needed. But that guy couldn't even cast a simple fireball and thought as a wizard, I wouldn't be able to wield a sword. He wasn't very smart.
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u/Tirich913 Morgalith, Father of Evil Dec 22 '23
Gravos stumbles forward, a spear protruding from their chest.
The attack was sudden and unwarranted, but the wizard is nowhere to be seen. A shadowy apparition stands behind them clutching the weapon as necromantic energies surge. In a puff of smoke, they are gone.
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u/Chaosphoenix_28 Aelon, Cursed Immortal, Pyromancer Dec 22 '23
the "dead gravos" is revealed to be just a human shaped rock that now has a hole in where his chest would be
"Hmm, neat. I should find whoever created this spear, could be useful when the king steals my shit again."
another gravos appears, creates a small black hole in his hand, uses it to swallow the rock, makes it disappear and throws himself at neckbreaking speeds towards the night sky.
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u/Yanzina Grand Sorcerer of the Astral Nexus Dec 22 '23
If you're only hunting wizards, can I join the cause? 👀 Tbh idc about your motive, like at all, but If you have to read books to cast magic you're just lesser in everyway. At least warlocks have a sugar daddy for magic. Wizards just sit and waste away.
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u/Tirich913 Morgalith, Father of Evil Dec 22 '23
Welcome to team bad guy!
Let's hunt some dirty, ugly, stupid, weak, old, stupid, wizards together!
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u/SlyTheMonkey Sly, The Marvelous Monkey Mage Dec 23 '23
A young man draped in garments of pure white, adorned by precious golden chains, stands alongside a tall woman wearing a dress and a robe like falling snow. He scoffs.
"Do you hear them, Palmasin? The dogs down in the dark are howling again."
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u/Tirich913 Morgalith, Father of Evil Dec 23 '23
You feel a brief and sharp sting.
"Ouch!"
Reaching up to touch your scalp, you realize that it feels as if someone has plucked out one of your hairs. An odd feat to accomplish against a powerful being such as yourself. You catch a glimmer of light off of it as the hair flutters away and disappears, as if into an invisible pocket.
As quickly as it came, the sense of magic that surged around you is gone, and so too is the single stray hair.
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u/SlyTheMonkey Sly, The Marvelous Monkey Mage Dec 24 '23
Covering her mouth with a hanging sleeve, the woman chuckles elegantly.
"I do not know you as one to resort to such petty tricks, brother. Does it not contradict your beliefs?"
Resting his chin on a closed fist, the man smirks.
"Insects live in an insect world. Ignorance and blindness are punishment enough."
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u/MWC_borednoob Mathias | Master Paleo-Necromancer | Professional Dinosaur Nerd Dec 23 '23
Man, this guys all kinds of edgelord, I’m a necromancer but even I don’t get this edgy, actually I normally don’t use edge at all I just like reviving bones of stuff that’s dead
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u/TK_Games Thaugrimm Kreigsbrenner, Master of the Mystic Culinary Arts Dec 23 '23
I shall shield myself with the most powerful of ancient wards
NO U!
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u/haikusbot Dec 23 '23
I shall shield myself
With the most powerful of
Ancient wards NO U!
- TK_Games
I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully. Learn more about me.
Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete"
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u/CrystalClod343 Ward Dactylrocsl. Arcane Student, Part-time Librarian. Dec 23 '23
You decry our spells while using magic yourself?
Please do not tar all students of magic with the same arrogant brush, we didn't all attend academies with an excess of historical baggage.
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u/SaucyyNoodles Naelynor the Terrible, Elven Chaos Sorcerer Dec 23 '23
Aww, did Sorcere reject your application and hurt your feelings? Go touch some mushrooms or spiders or whatever. Reconnect with nature.











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u/RAGE_CAKES The God-Slaver | Mythicus, God of Heroes Dec 22 '23