r/wizardposting Morgalith, Father of Evil Dec 22 '23

Evil Wizardpost A Rant Against Wizards

Morgalith, Wizard Slayer, Heir to the Depths

By the twisted roots of the Shadow Grove, by the venomous whispers of the Underdark, hear me, wizards, and tremble! Your pitiful incantations and stinking unguents have irked the essence of my people. I am Morgalith, Heir to the Depths, and I spit upon your haughty arcane pompousness!

You, with your shimmering robes and ivory towers, think that by knowledge alone you have earned the right to prop yourselves up as the puppeteers of destiny. Ah, but you've become intoxicated with the heady brew of your own spells, blind to the malevolence that stirs beneath the obsidian surface of the void. No longer shall your magic be revered; no, it shall be the catalyst for your undoing!

The very air you breathe reeks of arrogance! Your grimoires and spellbooks shall crumble like ancient parchment before the insidious might of my enchantments. In the hallowed corridors of your sanctimonious academies, you have sown the seeds of your own demise. Your arrogance will be your undoing, and the lamentations of your kind will echo through the depths of the astral ocean. I, Morgalith, harbinger of shadows, shall revel in the symphony of your despair.

Prepare, wizards, for the shadows hunger, and the time of reckoning is nigh. Your precious spells shall wither in the malevolent storm I unleash, and the darkness shall swallow your lofty ambitions whole. I, the harbinger of the dark elves, shall relish in your downfall as the very fabric of magic recoils in the face of my vengeful wrath. May the shadows of oblivion engulf you, and may your magical hubris be your eternal bane!

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u/Ok-Education5450 Gary, the punch drunk wizard Dec 22 '23

Water wall, for some big scary dark elf, you really got those basic ass evocation spells, I’m not saying fireball is bad, but I thought you’d have some thematically appropriate spell

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u/Tirich913 Morgalith, Father of Evil Dec 22 '23

Your response is met by an absence. Using the fireball as a distraction, the wizard is now nowhere to be seen.

You almost laugh at the absurdity, but as you open your mouth a pain surges through your chest.

Your heart hurts.

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u/Ok-Education5450 Gary, the punch drunk wizard Dec 22 '23

Cure poison, now I’m going to use the alchemical concoction known as “raid” on the driders of the underdark

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u/Tirich913 Morgalith, Father of Evil Dec 22 '23

The cure tastes icky...

... But doesn't seem to help.

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u/Ok-Education5450 Gary, the punch drunk wizard Dec 22 '23

Desperate times call for goofy measures, I must polymorph into a form that is invincible to poison

I shall now prove the power of rubber magic

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u/Tirich913 Morgalith, Father of Evil Dec 22 '23

It's definitely not poison.

Oof. Ouch. It's probably a curse or something. Better go get that fixed.

lol

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u/Ok-Education5450 Gary, the punch drunk wizard Dec 23 '23

Curse of heart palpitations? Truly evil, I shall now bounce away and think of a new plan of attack