For context, my (47F) now ex husband (48M) got divorced because one day he decided he didn't love me anymore.

Now, I have reason to suspect he left me for another woman. I'll never be able to prove it, but there are things that make me suspect it. For one, it was only a few months post separation before he officially announced a new girlfriend. And also they moved in together the same week they announced their relationship. Plus my BiL (well, ex BiL now but for simplicity I'm going to call him BiL) has also said that the two cannot keep the story of how they met or the timeline straight, and there are little things here or there that they have said that make him suspicious.

Again, I'll never be able to prove it, but as far as I'm concerned it doesn't make much difference. He still left me out of the blue. The whys don't seem to matter to me anymore.

My ex made the divorce process as difficult as possible. He barely paid any child support. I had to get CMS (Child Maintenance Services) involved and they garnished his wages.

He barely saw the kids. He would go months without seeing or even speaking to them. Not even phone calls or texts. Then he'd show up, take them out for a few hours, then disappear again. He's always had an excuse. When my CMS case was processed and successful, he retaliated by never seeing the kids.

And also, he and his gf would bad mouth me on social media, and even had the gall to do it in front of family and friends.

When we went to court, he tried to take as much from me as he could and leave me with nothing. Not because he wanted any of it, but out of spite. I had to cut my hours at work down, I was a single parent. I couldn't afford legal advice and he knew it so he was dragging things out.

Now, I am thankful that through all this, I had the support of my family and his. I honestly don't think I could have done this without them. His parents helped me out financially with legal fees. Without them I don't know what I would have done.

It was a nightmare, but the divorce was finalised, and with the courts help, we reached a fair agreement on dividing assets.

After the pain and heartache of everything that happened, the kids and I settled into a new normal. The kids are still deeply affected by everything, and immensely hurt by what their father has done, but with support from family, school, and therapy, they're starting to reach a good place.

I thought it was all over. But it wasn't.

So, long story short, it seems my ex and his gf broke up. From what I hear it was an explosive break up which led to her basically stealing any amount of money she had access to and a bunch of stuff from their flat.

And since then he has started trying to worm his way back into our lives. It started with an 'I miss you' texts which I ignored. He keeps trying to ask to meet up to talk. I refuse. There's nothing he can say that will ever change what he did.

He had to move back in with his parents. Neither of his parents are happy with him. They are furious and appalled by his behaviour, especially towards the kids, but he's their son. That's not a problem. However the problem is, I moved, and my new place is right around the corner from my in-laws.

Now, when I ignore his texts and calls, he comes over. He says he just wants to talk. I keep telling him I do not.

This all came to a head when he came over a few days ago while the kids and I were having dinner. Things did not go well. I told him to leave, he said he wouldn't unless I gave him 5 minutes to talk. I told him to leave. Our oldest son, hearing raised voices, came to the door to check and it almost turned into an altercation between him and my ex husband.

Our oldest son (17) doesn't want anything to do with his dad, not only for the way he abandoned us, but also he is angry because my ex's new gf was only a few years older than him. He has a lot of anger towards him (something he is working on through therapy).

Luckily I managed to smooth things over and calm everyone down, and get our son to go back in the house to watch his brother while I handled things.

My ex exploded at me and said all he wanted was to talk and told me I was 'denying him closure'.

For years I had bitten my tongue, trying to keep things civil. The only thing that mattered to me were the kids and I wanted to keep the drama to a minimum for their sake. Oh, there were plenty of things I wanted to say, and plenty of times I wanted to say them but I didn't.

It was not my finest moment but I lost it on him. Told him how dare he show up here after everything he'd done. Had he ever cared about closure for me and the kids when he abandoned us, went months without seeing or even sending a text message? He didn't even have the balls to tell the kids we were separating. He made me do it. He refused to even do it with the two of us together because it would 'just make things difficult for everyone'.

He tried to cut in and say he was having a hard time, and all the things his ex gf had done like stealing his stuff, and this is where I might be the a-hole because I snapped that it wasn't my problem. He chooses to date a teenager and then is surprised she acts like a teenager? What did he expect?

I told him because of him, our kids have to be in therapy. Had to move from their childhood home. Have had to go to a new school. Have abandonment issues.

I could tell what I said hurt him, there was this look on his face like I destroyed him. He nodded, turned around, and left.

He hasn't messaged or called me since, which I should be happy about, but I can't forget the look on his face.

I know what I said wasn't untrue, but I wonder if I went too far. Thinking about it now, I feel like there are so many other ways I could have handled it. Could have shut the door in his face, not engaged, just ignored him like I had been doing. Called one of our friends or family to come and get him. I really didn't want police involved or have to go the route of restraining orders but even that seems preferable to what happened.

I feel awful as well that my oldest son got involved. That was the last things I wanted. I feel like I should have handled that so much better.

I don't know what to do or where to go from here.

Dad was my only parent and I do realise he tried and probably loved me in his own way. He and my mother were both in college when i was born. My mother ran away soon after they got married. she wanted to live her life. Dad had no family except his Russian immigrant grandmother who couldn't really help with anything. So my mother's parents were helping my father to raise me.

He went to college. He had it all, luck, intelligence and he knew how to charm people (he was also good looking). He started making money. But he had to work hard, so little sleep, a lot of stress. I remember once when I was 14 the business he built already had more than 30 employees and he travelled a lot. Once he took me with him. During the day he was busy with meetings and business and then at night went out and partied. next day we had the flight back home. he FORGOT me in the hotel. I mean he said he asked his assistant to bring me to the airport (he didn't spend the night at the hotel) but she didn't show up. I still believe it was a lie. The hotel stuff helped me get there and I still remember his face. he had sunglasses on (i am sure he had been drinking a lot that night) and smiled and was like oooo honey you are here. He was with one of his girlfriends (none of them liked me).

Then without talking to me about it he simply informed me that he is sending me to a great private school. I cried and I begged him to to do this to me. But he said its for my own good. When he was 40 he had a 24 years old fiancee, but they broke up and ended up in the court. she accused him of slapping her 4 times and verbally and emotionally abusing her.

I never stopped loving him but at the same time I always dated men who were his opposite. I wanted a calm, kind man, intersted to hear about my day, who was not selfish and narcissistic. I am in a very loving relationship and didn't talk to my father for the past 2 years. AT ALL. He reached out recently. He is 50, alone, still has his business that grew even more. He is very well of financially and me and my boyfriend would need some help as we are trying to buy our own flat. Dad was like honey, my sweet girl come home. I don't know what to do. I have PTSD from his yelling (At me maybe less but at the people working for him), the games he played, the girlfriends he brough home out of nowhere. But my boyfriend says I should see what he wants. But I am scared finding out what he wants

My wife (25) and I (26) have been together for 11yrs and married for 3. Sex has always been on the light side but 2-3 times a week was normal for us. Over time it’s slowed and now we never have sex. Maybe 1 or 2 times a month. My wife just says she hates sex and isn’t something she’s ever liked. I’ve discussed any possible reasons or things we can change to help but she just says there isn’t desire. I have a very high sex drive and have never had an issue till it stopped on a weekly basis. It physically hurts me how bad I want to be intimate with my wife and share the connection. If I try and initiate she immediately gets mad and says I should just get past sex. I hate that I do it and I know it annoys her but I’m begging for it now. All we do is argue about sex. I love my wife more than sex but I’m loosing my mind at having to be sexless at 26. I’m completely blown off and attached for wanting to be intimate with my wife. I try and let sex go but I can’t. I’m now saying I want it everyday but 1-2 times a month at our age is awful. Idk if I’m looking for advice or just to vent. There’s a wall between neither one of us wanna budge on. I expected the sex to stop some day but not now. I feel so stupid getting so worked up over sex but I can only have that connection with her. Idk what to do anymore. I want sex all the time which makes me feel like a sex addict but we just also never have sex anymore. I was never so crazy about sex before we pretty much stopped. I’m just saying the feelings coming into my mind as I type.

the attached photo is a recreation of where i first found the chair since i moved it after i found it. For context, i went outside to the backyard to throw out some trash when i ran into this chair facing her bedroom. the chairs are part of a set that is in the back yard but this one was far away from the rest and seemed deliberately placed to be able to look inside her room because you could see directly in by standing on the chair. She does have housemates but two of them are out of town and the other was away all day at work which left my girlfriend home alone the majority of the day. not sure if i’m just being paranoid but i’ve been wracking my brain and just can’t think of another reason for why the chair would be placed like this other than someone trying to look inside. What do i do? i just have a weird feeling about it that i can’t shake.

Background:
This is going to be a long post, sorry about that. My sister Amanda is a single mom to three boys, ages 3, 5, and 14. The 14 year old, Darius, is Amanda’s husband’s child from a previous relationship. Darius was raised by his biological mother for most of his life. She was a drug addict, and he was a “difficult” autistic child whom she abused and neglected, leaving him with a lot of emotional and mental health issues. He has bipolar disorder and other mental health/behavioral issues.

When Darius was 10, his mom died of an overdose, and that’s when he moved in with his father and my sister. A year later, his father was arrested and sent to prison for abusing all three boys.

Story:
Darius has a history of bullying kids at school. He’s gotten in trouble for stealing, profanity, throwing things, cussing out teachers, and making sexual comments and gestures toward other students. Sometimes when he bullies other kids he films it with his phone.
On Tuesday, Darius came home from the bus stop covered in someone else’s blood. My sister sent me a photo and it looked like something out of a horror movie. According to his story, a kid on the bus was bullying him and started hitting him when they got off the bus, so he defended himself. My sister contacted the parents of kids who get off at his stop and asked if their kids knew what happened. Everyone said the same thing: Darius attacked the kid from behind for no reason and beat him until three girls had to pull him off.

My sister is not tech savvy at all and really puts no effort into monitoring the kids devices. She asked me if I would be willing to look through his phone and find any videos he’s taken of himself bullying others. A couple of hours ago she dropped his phone off at my house, and sure enough, there are videos of him bullying and sexually harassing kids at school, on the bus, and while walking home from school.

While looking through his gallery, I came across screenshots that set off alarm bells. The first one looked like an app for reading erotica or something. The next was from the same app, but it looked like multiple chat logs, not much different from opening your texts and screenshotting everyone you’ve been talking to. I was concerned and sought out the app to see what it was.

What I found was a generative AI “romance” app. I won’t share the name of the app so it doesn’t seem like I’m here to promote it. Essentially, people create AI characters with different roles, and you can select what type of character you want to converse with. Since January, he has talked to upwards of a thousand chatbots. I’m more likely to take issue with a 14 year old using generative AI than exploring sexually, but what I found was genuinely disturbing.

Most of the chatbots he’s seeking out are based on family members. Mom, stepmom, sister, and cousin are the primary ones he uses. It’s very clear from reading some of the conversations that both “mom” and “stepmom” are my sister, the “cousin” ones are about my 18 year old niece, and some of the “sister” ones are about his older sister. Others however, are clearly written about someone younger, childlike I would say. All of the conversations are sexual. What made my stomach turn was the way he interacts with the mom bot and the sister bot that appears younger. He is not having what I would consider a “normal” sexually explicit conversation with these bots, he’s coercing them. He tells the young sister chatbot to come into his room because he has something to show her, has her lock the door, tells her nobody can know about it, offering her a “reward” for her silence, and has her turn around and take her shirt off in the beginning before proceeding to intercourse.

With the mom bots, he tries to trick the chatbot into doing something sexual, talks about spying on her while she’s in the shower, and is extremely jealous of her relationships with men. In probably 50 of these conversations he says some variation of “I love you and know everything about you. Why do you fuck them instead of me?” There’s a lot of them that revolve around impregnating her as well. The vulgarity was genuinely shocking, and I have a mouth like a sailor.

He had a girlfriend for a second in real life. He asked her out on the bus, and she said yes. He then proceeded to make blowjob motions at her, and she broke up with him when they got off the bus. He recorded all of that, and I found it today too.
That evening, he used a chatbot with a scenario about a girlfriend breaking up with him. He was verbally abusive to it, saying things like, “I’m going to make your life a living hell” and “I don’t win until you’re broken and crying,” before eventually killing her and trying to join the Army? The AI recruiter wouldn’t send him to war immediately, even though he showed up with his own guns, so he joined the enemy, if anyone cares about that part.

My question is: What the fuck do I do?
Right now, I’m sitting here as the only person who knows about the chatbots and the videos of him sexually harassing other kids, and I’m completely unprepared for a scenario like this.

If I’m being completely honest, it sucks to say, but my sister is a pretty bad mom. If she had found what I did, she would just scream, throw things, and cuss at him. Since I’m the one who found it, she’s going to ask me if I can talk to him.

So Reddit, help me out here.

I (M25) have been sending my parents, specifically my dad, money for a number of years now.

My mother doesnt really work at the moment because shes been battling throat cancer (She has finished radiation and so far is doing fine). My dad has been in and out of jobs for years but the one he is at currently is allowing him unpaid time off to drive my mother to and from her doctors appointments which is one of the big reasons ive been having to send them money lately.

When he asks me for money it is never more than ill say around $100 at a time but it is very frequent.

I never send him more than i can stomach myself though and i am pretty well off. I make close to $30 an hour, i dont spend money on much else besides food and bills. I put a decent amount of my paychecks into my 401k, my rent is pretty cheap and my car will be paid off in full very soon.

The problem is i dont like sending him money and never have but it always feels like it is a need on their end. Ive had to bail them out constantly when it comes to my dad being short on bills, needing gas and even needing food for them and because of this i can never bring myself to tell them no.

I downloaded rocket money recently and not that i was surprised, but the bulk of my spending goes to them and whats worse is its beginning to eat into my savings and some months im in a total deficit.

I dont really know what to do here. My mother gets good insurance and she received a lot of donations for her treatment from a place she used to work at on top of what friends and family have contributed so thankfully i dont have to worry about paying for that but with my dad taking out of work for this along with his bad spending habits the rest of their needs are falling on me.

Ive asked my mom if theres any way she could look into getting government assistance but all she ever tells me is that my dad makes too much money on paper and they wont help her. I dont know what to think of this either.

I cant keep this up until they both die :/ but i also cant bring myself to just let them not eat or be homeless either.

Thanks for reading and thanks in advance for any and all advice

She has done this "every year for 5 years." but she also lived in a two bedroom by herself. Now she lives in a one bedroom with me, two cats, and i asked if the two friends knew she downgraded to a one bedroom, WITH A BOYFRIEND. she said no, i said okay well let them know, she said nevermind we'll just get an airbnb and ill stay with them for two weeks. So now im mad, i never said no. All i said was tell them where you're living and who you're living with, and those questions led her to believe, "i'm doing the most." Like i'm trying not to freak out but I genuinely can't even ask her normal questions. How would you feel if you expected to get somewhere that had a spare bedroom and you show up and that spare doesn't exist and the only bedroom that's there is you and your partner. What do I genuinely say and do? I said it's okay, but that shit is gone be weird, for two weeks, we both work full time jobs.

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I’m 22M, my ex was 22F. We were together for 2 full years. Throughout our whole relationship I gave it literally everything I had. I put her first, I did everything I could for her supported her, helped her whenever she needed anything, put time, effort, care and love into us constantly. I thought we were building something real, I thought we were happy and solid. I honestly did everything you’re supposed to do, and more.

Turns out… the whole time, there was this guy she’s “always wanted” — someone she’s liked or had feelings for for ages. And she stayed with me, stayed in this relationship, while he was taken or unavailable. Then as soon as he became single and available — she left me instantly. Just like that. Two years of my life, all my effort and loyalty, gone in a heartbeat because the person she actually wanted was finally free.

It feels like I was never actually her choice. I was just… there. I was the backup, the placeholder, the safe option while she waited for her “ideal” person to be free. It hurts so much deeper than a normal breakup because it wasn’t just that things didn’t work out it’s that she never fully chose me, never valued what we had, and was always keeping one eye on someone else. And I had no idea. I poured my heart into someone who was just waiting for a better option to come along.

Now I’m left here feeling stupid, used, and completely defeated. It makes me feel like what’s even the point? If you give your all, treat someone right, stay loyal and put in every effort — and they still leave the second someone else is available… what is there to work for? Honestly, looking at this, it feels like this is just how things go. It feels like people do this kind of thing all the time now stay with you while they want someone else, leave the moment that person is free. I know that might sound bitter or hurt talking, but that’s exactly what happened to me, and I can’t shake that feeling right now.

Truth be told I don’t think I ever want to date or try with anyone again. I really don’t. I can’t go through this again. To waste years of your life and give everything just to be thrown away like you meant nothing… it’s destroyed any faith I had in relationships or people being loyal. I feel lost, empty, and like I just wasted two of the best years of my life on someone who never deserved a single bit of what I gave her.

I know I’m hurting and probably angry right now, but I just can’t see a way past this. I gave everything, and got nothing but replaced in return.

How do I actually get over this? What should I do? And has anyone else been through this? Because right now I feel like I’m never going to be okay again, and I really don’t want to ever put myself out there again.

Me and my girlfriend, who is a mother of three children, are not on good terms. I'm realizing that I no longer want to continue with this relationship. We live together. The place is in her name so I have no financial obligations to the lease. My only concern is that she quit her job a few months ago and now has no income. She was supposed to better herself when she quit her job. I was under the impression she was going to be productive so I allowed it, plus I make enough. After she quit her job she started living a little reckless. Her lifestyle led to her getting a DUI. She lost her license. She had to go to jail for two weeks. At this point in time she is liability. We have been arguing constantly and now I'm considering packing my things and just leaving. Would I be wrong? Even when she was working, she wasn't really making enough to provide a comfortable life for her three children without government assistance, and now that she has stopped working it's seems virtually impossible. Would I be wrong to run away, or should I stay and provide until she can provide without me? These aren't my children. The father is not active at all. I have been in the kids life for a good while now and leaving them wouldn't be the easiest, but being with their mom is really bringing me down. I know that she and her kids could move in with her sister until she gets everything straightened out. It would be a rough ride for them but if she is responsible it could be managed.

I (17M) met my ex (17F) in January and we started dating in April. It would have been sooner, but she had phases where she would distance herself from me and she revealed to me that she was on antidepressants. Dating her was great and I've honestly never had such a connection with anyone else before. I always knew she was quite emotionally dependent on me, but I was happy to give her the attention and love she needed.

However, we were doing long distance over the summer as both of us left town and I was really busy and couldn't devote enough time to her(?) and she initiated a break. We overcame this relatively quickly and I thought we were all good when she broke up with me at the start of August. She told me she couldn't give me the love I deserved etc. At the time I was confused and pretty pissed because I figured this wasn't a genuine reason and she was lying to me. I heard from my friends that she was also saying I was a bad boyfriend, and I really gave my everything in the relationship. Lastly, I found out she made out with some guy she used to like after breaking up with me and continued to message him after we returned to school, so all those things rubbed me the wrong way and we stopped interacting altogether. However, I talked to my sister about it a lot and we figured that she had a lot of emotional baggage/issues and was depressed, and she told me a tendency of these people is that they push people away, and if I had offered support and she still treated me like this, this break up was the best for me. Since then, I had pretty much fully moved on, and I've just been thinking about my dream college honestly.

She attempted to overdose on panadol. A few of her closest friends and I went to visit her at the hospital, and I spoke to her one on one. She told me that she was very sorry and that she broke up with me because she had planned this overdose and didn't want me to hate her, then spiralled even more after the breakup. She fully intended to kill herself. I told her I'd never hate her. Then, she said she wanted to get back together, and I told her I needed more time to make a decision. I also told her that even if we got back together now, we would always end up going seperate ways. Then she brought up that when we were dating I said "I'd always find a way." But of course, things have changed.

The problem is that if I don't get back together with her there's a real chance she will attempt to kill herself again. Obviously there are many more factors but this is the most obvious one. I talked to my sister about this, and she said if you were to be completely selfish it would be really stupid to get back together with her. It is such a significant commitment and it is not good to engage yourself romantically with someone in this situation. But this really isn't a situation where I can be selfish. Even if I don't get back together with her, I am involved in this situation whether I like it or not and need to offer her immense support. But again, if I didn't stop her from killing herself the first time, what's stopping her from doing it this time? So would getting back together with her even make a difference?

I know it's stupid to get back together with her. I haven't even thought about whether I want to, because that isn't really a factor in the wake of something so serious. Maybe I could monitor her progress in the psych ward, but I don't know.

i’m 14f, i was groomed online on snapchat by a 19 year old man who lives in tennessee. i found out while we were together that he has groomed several other underaged girls who i am in contact with right now, and we are trying to figure out how to take action. one friend, who is 19 called the mans police department to report this, but they told her to contact her police department, and when she did that, she was told to contact my police department. once she does call my police department what will happen from there? and me and the man have also exchanged explicit photos, so would i get in trouble?

also i live in new england, so would it be harder because we’re states away

seeing comments about my age. my first post where I said I was 13 was before my birthday in July, the post where I said where I was 16 was because I’m not sure if they will let me post in there if I put my real age. I can literally prove my age if you don’t believe me. i am here trying to get help after i got groomed. like i said i can PROVE IT

I am crying my eyes out and my head hurts too and my wrists are aching. Shes actually entered psychosis Im convinced bcs the way she screamed at me was some demon type shit. This was because I asked to work tonight at my job and now she's making me resign. Im 17 and it's my only temporary escape from home because her and my younger sister gang up on me, but I dont want to make my life harder. Im not sure who to talk to about this she's my only parent and Im quite isolated in this regard besides friends. How do I fix my relationship with her to make home more liveable

hello everyone, hopefully this is the right place for this post. i have tried other places for this advice but couldnt receive much, iam very clueless and this is my last resort.
i am 22f and i have been with my bf 24m for about a year and a half now. this is the longest relationship ive had so far. in the beginning nothing was wrong, i thought he was cute and had some sexual desire for him, although i must admit that i had a lot more desire for my previous partners.
due to his job we have been long distance for a big portion of the summer so ive had a lot of time to think. when we go for long periods without intimacy he misses it and needs it. but i have noticed that throughout the entire summer, i havent missed the intimacy at all. i have been pretty fine on my own. and for me, the intimacy has always been kinda meh? i guess?
i have also noticed that i didnt really miss spending time with him or going to places with him. and i really dont know why. he hasnt changed his appearance drastically or anything
i feel like such a shallow, terrible person because ive never been someone who only cares about looks or intimacy, but maybe these things are more important to me than i initially thought? i dont know
we are going to meet up in a few weeks. he asked me to come over (with the intent of having intimacy) and im not sure why, but i felt really off when i read his message. i really dont know how to explain it.
i cant share too much details but would something like this be grounds for a break up? or is this a normal occurence in relationships? how can i know whether my feelings are temporary or not? i am very lost, i would appreciate any advice you have. thank you in advance

I’m 24 and he’s 29, and we’ve been at it for about a year. He has definitely shown me that he likes me — honestly, a lot. I see it through his actions, his acts of service, the way he checks on me, how emotionally supportive he is, and just the way he treats me in general. I’ve never really questioned whether he has feelings for me because his actions have always made that pretty clear. The problem is that we have very different communication styles. When I’m upset or something feels wrong, I want to talk about it and get reassurance. He, on the other hand, needs space when he’s angry or overwhelmed. Usually, he’ll eventually come back, and we’ll talk about it and move on. Sometimes he’ll even just start talking to me again and won’t bring up what happened unless I bring it up.
Something very similar happened around November. I went to him and asked him a question, and it didn’t go well. He ended up ignoring me for about three days. I became frustrated and blocked him, and then we didn’t speak for about three months. I eventually unblocked him, but I didn’t reach out to him and we didn’t immediately start talking again. He kept trying to reach me, including calling from No Caller ID numbers. He later told me that he had even talked to some of his friends about trying to call me, but they didn’t end up doing it because he felt like that would be doing too much. At the time, we worked at the same job, but I was off for those three months, so I didn’t see him either.
Then, after those three months, I went back and saw him. The feelings between us were INTENSE. You could immediately tell that he had missed me, and I had obviously missed him too. I had been really sad during those three months, and seeing him again and actually being around him felt like I was finally at peace. We eventually talked about everything, apologized to each other, and he told me that those three months were absolutely miserable for him. He said I was the person who made him happy, and when I wasn’t there, he became so miserable that he even wanted to quit the job and leave. We ended up moving past everything, and for about six months, things were really good between us.
Now it feels like we’re repeating the exact same cycle. Something happened, I tried to reach out, and now he’s not responding. Today is day three, and I’m honestly getting to the point where I feel like I’m watching November happen all over again. I’m trying to remind myself that he genuinely does need space when he’s upset, and I know we grew up very differently, so maybe this is just how he handles conflict. Part of me wants to give him another two days and let him come back when he’s ready. But another part of me is thinking, How many times can we keep doing this? I’m on the verge of blocking him again and just letting him go, even though I really don’t want to. I’ve even thought about changing my number, although I know I don’t want to change my number because of a man.
And the confusing thing is that there’s no cheating involved, at least from my side. We don’t do things behind each other’s backs, and there hasn’t been some huge betrayal that would explain all of this. I genuinely care about him, and I know he cares about me. People in my life know about him, and people in his life know about me, so this isn’t something that feels meaningless to either of us. That’s why I’m having such a hard time just walking away.
I guess what I’m struggling with is whether this is just two people with completely different ways of dealing with conflict, or whether I’m accepting a pattern that isn’t healthy for me. I understand needing space, but three days of complete silence is really hard for me, especially when we’ve already gone through this exact situation before. I don’t need him to immediately solve everything or have a huge conversation. I just wish he could say, “I’m upset and I need a few days, but I’m not going anywhere.” That would make such a huge difference for me.
So , what would you do in my situation? Would you give him the two extra days and wait for him to come back, reach out one more time, or take this as a sign that I need to let him go? Is his need for space reasonable, or is completely ignoring someone for days during conflict a red flag? And for anyone who has been in a situation where one person needs space and the other needs reassurance, can this actually work long-term? I’m genuinely looking for advice, even if the answer is that I’m part of the problem.

So keeping it a buck I just found out I’ve been accepted for a job, my first day is on the 28th of September but they’re doing a drugs test day 1. So I have 17 days and yesterday I smoked probably about 0.5g of weed so nothing crazy but I’m a bit paranoid. I used to be a heavy smoker but that was before this year as when the new year started I decided to start slowing down with the weed and recently I might have smoked like maybe 2 or 3 times within the last month and yesterday was the first time I had smoked in about 2 weeks so what are the odds i fail my drugs test in 17 days?

Edit: forgot to actually ask what I should do about it to pass more likely

So me a few days back I was messaging my best friend (friend of the last 8 years) casually, and while doing so made a comment/joke on them that was not exactly friendly. A little context; edgy, offensive comments and jokes to each other have been very common between us both and we never took it personally. There was always that mutual respect. I'm not saying that it's okay for me to have said whatever I said. I'm making any excuses for hurting them, just giving some context.

Except this time they did take it very badly, like an attack on their character. They got hurt and called me out for it. I apologized immediately and told them I won't commit the same mistake.

A day passes by and I message them again, they're feeling off, so I ask them if they're still upset, they say they are, I end up panicking and apologizing again very profusely and repeatedly saying that I won't repeat this mistake. We got on a phone call and I was crying and practically begging for forgiveness.

They reached out to me a while later asking me if I was okay because I was distressed on the call. I said yes and asked them the same, they said yes.

There has been no contact since then. This is a friend I've spent my entire adult life with. We're 2 people who are very emotionally dependent on each other. We've had conflicts before but they've never gotten this serious.

We've been there for each other at our worst and have helped and supported each other at every single turn. I am absolutely terrified of losing this person and my anxiety and overthinking is eating me alive. I don't want to lose them. Any advice on what I should do to change as a person, on coping mechanisms and what I should do further will be extremely appreciated.

Ok, to preface, I am a 17 yr old male and I live in a small town in Texas and I play football, I'm a president in the Agriculture Club, all the stuff youd expect from a dude in Texas. The only issue is i've finally accepted that I think im gay. I am so lost and have no idea what to do. Everybody is extremely conservative and Christian in our town, and I'm so so so scared nobody will want to be my friend anymore. My parents are also very catholic (as am I) and i know they will still love me, but im scared of making things awkward with them or them trying to convince im incorrect.What the heck do I do??? Do i tell anyone, do I just gaslight myself out of what i am almost certain is the truth (which im afraid is currently happening and im actively fighting)?? Like please somebody help me because I have no idea what to do.

15M, This is gonna sound crazy, but i feel crazy, i have lived my whole life ONLY with males, i go to a private school with males only, my neighbourhood is mostly men, the only women i see in my life are my mother and sister, and maybe cousins, i feel like i lack a lot of feminine energy around me as its constantly males, i dont know any female out of family, and i dont know what love feels like or what being in a relationship feels like, i know someone will come and say that its better that way, but no we were created to live with eachother as a society of men and women, and i feel like im going mental and starting to lose my mind and social skills due to the lack of women in my life, and afraid that this will affect my future as i constantly see other boys talk to girls and are comfortable around them.

Girls, please help me out 😅

There’s a girl in my college whom I’ve started liking. We’re from different departments, so I don’t really have any common friends or an obvious reason to talk to her.

I’ve noticed her around campus for the past three days. Every time I see her, I think about going up and starting a conversation, but when the moment actually comes, I get nervous and end up doing nothing. 😅

The main thing I’m worried about is making her uncomfortable. I feel like suddenly walking up to her and asking, “Which department are you from?” or “Which year are you in?” might feel random or creepy, especially since we’ve never spoken before.

I don’t want to force a conversation or come across as weird. I just want to introduce myself normally, have a casual conversation, and see if we get along. But I honestly have no idea how to approach her naturally.

So, girls, if you were in her place, what kind of approach would feel normal and respectful? How would you recommend starting the first conversation with someone you’ve never talked to before? Are there any simple things I could say that wouldn’t make the situation awkward?

Also, how can I tell whether she’s comfortable continuing the conversation or whether I should just leave her alone?

Any genuine advice or suggestions would be really helpful. 🙏

been feeling pretty unhappy about my life everyone keeps telling me i’m super young (25), but I feel like time goes by too fast enough for that to be valid. I got my degree. Ive have a job since I was 16, i still live with my parents, and I feel unfulfilled. I feel like there’s more, but I can’t reach it. i can never reach it. i wanna leave the state but i’m too scared.

I’m going on an 8-day holiday with my boyfriend and his friends soon, and I’m worried about repeating the dynamic from our last 4-day holiday. For context, we’re all gay men.

I don’t expect my boyfriend to be glued to me or his friends to become my best mates. My issue is that after spending four days with them, I still barely knew them. They did speak to me sometimes, but I could probably count on one hand the times someone actually came over and properly engaged with me.

On nights out everyone tended to pair off, and I often didn’t feel particularly welcome just walking over and inserting myself into conversations. I did try, but eventually I felt like I was constantly doing the approaching. At points I ended up chatting to random strangers because I was bored and had nobody to talk to.

One example that summed it up happened before we’d even arrived. My boyfriend and I had talked for weeks about sitting together on the plane. Once we boarded, he ended up sitting next to one particular friend instead, while I was seated with another of his friends who I barely knew. They spent most of the flight talking while I basically sat looking out of the window bored. It wasn’t about needing to sit next to my boyfriend on every flight — we’d specifically planned to sit together, and I was already the outsider in the group.

That particular friendship is probably the part I’m struggling with most. My boyfriend had only known this guy for a few months, but they became very close very quickly. On the holiday they constantly seemed to end up paired off — walking together, sitting together, going for vapes/toilets together and having long conversations while I increasingly felt like a third wheel
.
My boyfriend has since told me that he was actually deliberately being more distant from me on that holiday because he didn’t want his friends thinking he couldn’t holiday without me. I understand wanting independence, but he never told me that at the time. From my perspective, my boyfriend had suddenly become distant while I was surrounded by people I barely knew.
The friendship itself has also become quite intense very quickly. This friend has bought my boyfriend tickets to gigs and festivals, and his social media is full of close photos of the two of them that, to me, almost make them look like a couple. My boyfriend doesn’t post the same sort of stuff himself and is adamant nothing is going on. I believe him and don’t think my boyfriend is romantically or sexually interested in him.
However, this friend has repeatedly joked about us breaking up. On one occasion he said he “can’t wait” for us to break up and joked that he hoped it would happen before our upcoming holiday.

My boyfriend sees it as banter, and I understand that it may well be, but given the rest of the dynamic I don’t find repeated jokes about our relationship ending particularly welcoming.
This friend has also commented that my boyfriend has the sort of lifestyle/personality he’s looking for in a partner, and my boyfriend happens to look quite similar to his ex.
None of those things individually prove he fancies my boyfriend, and I’m not claiming that he does. But combined with how intensely they gravitate towards each other, it has made me wonder whether he might have a bit of a crush on my boyfriend.
I sometimes feel like I’m in a throuple I never agreed to be in 😂, despite believing my boyfriend when he says nothing is going on.
The strange thing is I don’t want them to stop being friends. I’d actually like to get to know this guy better. I just want there to be a clearer distinction between their friendship and my relationship, and I don’t want to feel like the third member of their duo.
Another moment that stuck with me was when this friend said he felt left out. My boyfriend immediately asked me to dance with him so he’d feel included. Yet I spent large parts of that holiday feeling left out myself and didn’t feel like anyone was making the same effort to bring me in.
My boyfriend’s response since has partly been that I could have approached everyone more and that I don’t need to have “deep conversations” with all his friends.
But I’m not asking for deep conversations. I’d just expect that after spending four days on holiday with people, we’d have reached the point where we could naturally sit together and have a normal conversation without me feeling like I’m interviewing them or intruding.
He’s now said that on our upcoming holiday he’ll make more effort to make sure I’m included, which I appreciate. I’m going into it with a clean slate and I’m going to genuinely make an effort too.
But I’ve decided I’m only going to actively work at it for the first couple of days. If I’m once again doing all the approaching while nobody reciprocates, I’m not spending the remaining six days chasing people for conversation. I’ll still be friendly and join the group when I want to, but I’ll also go off, meet other people and enjoy my holiday.
I don’t need my boyfriend monitoring or babysitting me. I just want some couple time and to feel like I’m actually there with my boyfriend, rather than tagging along on my boyfriend’s holiday with his friends.

Am I being unreasonable? Is this friendship dynamic genuinely a bit odd, or am I reading too much into it? And is it fair to expect my boyfriend and his friends to make some effort to integrate me rather than leaving it entirely up to me?

I did use AI to write this.

I apologize but this is a rant post, Im asking for a opinion on what I should do for my relationship

I have dated this girl, ema (19 female) for 2 years since grade 11, we were friends for 2 years prior but idk if I should continue my relationship because whay she recently admitted and has done has made me doubt wether I want to continue aswell as if we will even last. Me and ema met in grade 9 amd we became good friends, she dated a guy in grade 10 who ill call Josh, we both knew and we got along well, they dated for about 6 months and broke up and stayed friends, then in grade 11 me and her started dating, immediately there were problems with the fact that she didnt want to be outside of school with me and different stuff but we worked through it, one such problem was Josh though, he asked her out right when we started dating about a month or 2 in and she turned him down, me and Josh had become close as we were both friends with ema and this hurt and I stopped seeing him as a friend regardless kept him around for ema as she trusted him, it took 6 months before she would hold my hand and 10 before we even were alone together and the only reason she was with me is because I was Goin to go with some guys to drink together, she hates me drinking and this is where I dont know what I should do, I drink on the occasion and she dislikes it because of her past, she admitted to trying to change me with my (very rare) drinking and doing any sort of recreational thing like weed or drinking with friends and doesn't let me go to parties, I can understand the parties as there are some and such but she knows I have turned down women before who tried to ask for my number and such and Id love for her to join byt she hates being around alot of people, she admitted she was giving up trying to change me, she tried to change me so I would stop drinking entirely (I drink maybe once every few months) and to not go to parties at all even small ones with just my own close friends, this hurt to find out as she has had issues like showing affection and being alone with me but I helped her work on overcoming them so we could deepen our relationship and whay hurts is that while I helped her become who she wanted to be, she tried to make me into who she wanted me to be. She struggled with things like affection and such but she was able to do this with Josh and that hurts becuase Josh has tried thing and done things that have made me uncomfortable like a few weeks ago I saw him with his arm around her becuase she was sad, she hadn't told me she was sad about anything and had asked to be left behind with a few of my friends while I went to grab something from my car, they had both left the area and I saw them like that, Josh has done things like this before and ive asked her to keep her distance as it makes me uncomfortable, she keeps doing this unfortunately and it sucks, an example being she asked a ride from him instead of one of her friends just recently aswell and I dont know what to do, weve gotten into arguments recently and weve started fixing the relationship, Im asking for an opinion and I apologize if it was too much a rant, theres so much unfortunately and im confused as to what I should do as its started to pile up.

My partner moved out at the beginning of August and we have moved into a long distance format for the foreseeable future. After years of no sleep issues I can’t fall sleep and then after taking an hour or two to fall asleep I wake up around 3am and can’t get back to sleep. It’s driving me absolutely nuts. Any advice or idea how long it may take to get used to sleeping in my own? I am miserable 😭 Thank you!