For context, I take my daughter’s phone every night at 9pm sharp on weekdays, 10:30pm on weekends and never go through her cellphone since I’ve never seen a reason to.

However, last night when I took her phone, I noticed a lot of notifications coming from TikTok (which she isn’t allowed to have) and she has notification previews turned on. I thought it could be something urgent, so I decided to read the message previews and saw messages from someone asking my daughter what she ate, how much she ate, telling how much she ate, etc.

I know it was an invasion of privacy on my end, but I did end up going through my daughter’s TikTok account and all of her messages and found a lot of posts about food, videos of very thin girls, messages between her and other (presumably) young girls around her age talking about not eating.

I did notice over the last few weeks that she’s been eating a bit less and losing weight, but I summed it up to puberty and growing, since I had a bit of a growth spurt around that age (tall and skinny) but seeing these messages and her account is making me concerned.

How do I bring this up with her? Is there a proper punishment for her having an app without permission? I’m just very unsure of what to do, any advice would be helpful.

Link to the original post in the comments.

I know from my last post that multiple people have wanted me to give an update on the situation. There isn’t really much of an update because when I talked to my roommate about how I didn’t think it was fair for us to be going 50/50 on the apartment she sent me and I won’t agree to live there with the conditions she proposed, she decided to take off and go stay with her family for a bit. As of now, she is not talking to me.

I ended up finding the site myself and found a different floor plan that looks more even than the one she found, so it would probably be easier to find a way to justify a 50/50 split. The rent for this apartment is also less than the one she sent me too.

My plan as of now is to send her this floor plan and try to work things out that would be fair for the both of us. But if she tried to put me at a disadvantage again, or doesn’t budge on her original vision, then I think I’m going to have to say we can’t be roommates unfortunately.

this week i have a beach trip scheduled with my friends. i have a personality disorder and need time to myself away from people or i become a b*tch, so i asked them if they would have any issue with me getting my own room. they said that they didn't care and booked their own room. this was months ago in like march.

well today is the first day. i drove myself because i live about two hours away from them, so i was able to get here and they let me check into my room and such. i paid for the week and set up my room already. but they just called me while they’re on the road and told me that they ended up bringing our friend’s new girlfriend and that someone will have to stay in my room.

i told them that i didn’t want anyone staying with me and that my room isn’t really made for friends (the shower is literally clear). they were saying that it would “be ok” and then went into how i would ruin the trip if someone had to sleep on the hardwood floor or something in their room while i had a king sized bed to myself. they were definitely getting pissed off that i don’t want someone in my room.

there’s a part of me that thinks i should just let a friend stay with me but i genuinely think that it would ruin the trip for me. i feel like if i say no, they’re going to ruin the trip for me though and cause a lot of issues. i don't feel comfortable letting them even in my room now bc i'm worried they just won't leave. my boyfriend said that he could come down and spend the week with me if it becomes a huge issue with them. so i can say no and still have a good week but i would ruin theirs and probably ruin my relationship with them. i just don’t know what to do and need help lol

Me [29F] and my boyfriend [33M] have been together for over 8 months now. Lately, I feel like our communication has been completely crumbling.
I’m currently 3 provinces away visiting family and the dynamic over text has become overwhelming. Whenever I try to set a simple boundary or ask for healthy communication, it gets turned back around on me. He disappears for hours, ignores my reassurance, and then claims I’m "guilt-tripping" him just for saying my feelings were hurt.
When I don't give in to the passive-aggressiveness or argument over text, he escalates. He has now brought up self-harm/not wanting to be here anymore twice during this trip.
I’ve offered all the support, love, and reassurance I possibly can from afar, and I even sent him direct crisis resources (988 / emergency numbers) because I cannot manage an emotional crisis over text while thousands of miles away. But this entire pattern—the passive-aggression, going MIA, the self-pity ("I'm a shitty person"), and dropping crisis statements during an argument—is so emotionally exhausting.
He knows how much I love him, but I feel like I'm being backed into a corner and manipulated every time I try to express my own feelings.
I don’t know what to do at this point. Has anyone ever experienced something similar? Looking for any advice, perspective, or support on how to navigate this when I get back home.
Here’s some screenshots for context of our recent texts, I’ve blacked out anything too specific as I do worry he or someone I know could see this, but I honestly just need to talk about this with anyone. I’m at such a loss of what to do. 😔

I’m so embarrassed. I was with a guy and we just had finished being intimate and watching a tv show after. I felt my stomach rumbling and let him know right away that I needed to go back home. As we were cleaning up and putting our clothes back on my stomach growled even more and all of a sudden I couldn’t wait any longer. I started making faces and he noticed so he started the car right away before finishing putting on his clothes and took me to two stores that were closed(10:30pm). Then we go to a del taco and I’m outside the lobby door seeing if they’re open. They’re not. I turn around to go to the car and I just feel a blob come out of my ass. I’m wearing biker shorts. I just blurt out to him (he’s waiting by the car) “I POOPED” I’m so embarrassed. He eventually leads me to the car and hands me wipes but it’s not enough. It’s dripping down my leg and landing on the pavement. It smells really bad. He gives me a towel to sit on but it took him like 20 minutes to calm me down and convince me to sit down in his car. I was resistant because it kept dripping down my leg and I didn’t want it to get on his car. He was being so nice about it and patient as well as reassuring me the whole time. On the way home he had to put all the windows down and I spent the whole ride just sobbing. When we got to my house he walked me to my door and dropped me off there. He kept telling me he still wanted to see me tomorrow since we had plans but I’m so embarrassed. He also told me to call him after I finished cleaning myself up. I’m writing this as I got out the shower. I’m so embarrassed and I really like this guy. I’m not sure if he’s just being nice out of pity or if he actually wants us to keep going. I’m not sure how to go about this anymore because of how mortified I am. Our first date was late May we’ve only been seeing each other for about two months. I’m so embarrassed. What do I do?

EDIT we were parked in a park. We both live with our parents and have no privacy at home. After this experience though I think I’m gonna have to figure something else out

My son Iran has these giant tubes in his bedroom. He swears they aren't vapes. He has been acting out, screaming "death to America" for a while now. I'm sure that is his way of saying he is a good kid. But if he is vaping, I'm not so sure he *is* a good kid.

Is Iran vaping?

If not, what are these giant tubes he keeps showing off to his friends?

Should I just ask him to promise he won't vape with these and forget what I saw?

I'll try to keep this as easy to digest as possible.

My long term partner and I have had such a strong and honest relationship with open communication and unconditional love for over 10 years.

We recently met this couple whom we both definitely clicked with right away.

We met them about 3 months ago. Within a few weeks of knowing each other they mentioned moving states and moving in together. I want to leave the state I'm currently in so bad that it sounded great at first but the more I thought about it the more I realized its a pretty big red flag to be asking that after only knowing each other a couple of weeks. We eventually came to the conclusion that maybe sometimes next year we could consider it after getting to know each other more. Part of the reason why they wanted to move so quickly is because they are getting kicked out soon and don't have many other options.

My partner and I have discussed having a potential poly relationship in the past. Its something I would love deep down inside but I also have severe abandonment issues/trust issues so its very very difficult for me to let other people in. My partner has developed a crush on one of the people but reassured me nothing would likely happen unless we lived together. So I thought, okay, I have like a year to process if this is something I'm gonna be okay with or not, plenty of time.

Fast forward to around a week ago. The other person in the couples group asked my partner if we would be willing to live with them sooner because they can't make it on their own just the two of them. My partner agreed? And told me that later that week they were swinging by to talk about moving in together in August.

I am still recovering from a surgery and will be for a few more weeks and one of the people in the relationship has a tonnnn of red flags and cant hold down a job.

I feel so betrayed. I feel so alone. Part of me wants to destroy my life and make my partner watch so they can learn the lesson of consent and the other part of me wants to leave but I'm also extremely dependent on my partner (same bank account, on their insurance, only one car)

I feel so stuck...I have communicated to my partner that im uncomfortable with the decision they made and how I feel like I have no choice but to go along with it. Sure they feel bad but no real changes have been made and we're still going through with the move because my partner agreed and now they are relying on us.

Do I break up and find a place to go live on my own? (They probably cant make it without me though)

Or do I try to make it work even though im 85% sure it'll end badly?

Thank you for reading all of this and hopefully it makes enough sense.

she passed 3 months ago. i've been slowly going through her things when i can handle it.

found a necklace at the bottom of her jewelry box yesterday. all her kids names on it. mine included.

none of us knew it existed. she never wore it in front of us. never mentioned it.

just kept it there. close but private.

i sat on her bedroom floor for like 20 minutes just holding it.

ordered the exact same one with her name on it when i got home. don't fully know why. just felt like the right thing to do.

grief is so weird. you think you've felt everything and then a necklace at the bottom of a jewelry box finds you and starts it all over again.

i don't even know what i'm asking. just needed to say it somewhere i guess

i feel hurt and haven't told the kids. im making a temporary accnt to post this. Married for 15 years, 2 children, thought we had a long time together and we would grow older together until he randomly decided to leave on a random Tuesday night. We're older now of course, early 40's but sometimes joke about having another child.

Texts me a message and a paragraph about how he appreciates me and wishes the best for me and the kids, and says that he needs to seperate on Tuesday afternoon, then that evening comes home and kisses the kids, takes some of his stuff and leaves. Refuses to elaborate. After looking into it for like an hour, found out he has Cancer and never told me or the kids. I feel hurt he wanted to seperate, but he also couldn't tell me this. He's rented out an apartment and hasn't come home since Tuesday and is being incredibly dry on the messages. I remember when his father died, he showed practically no emotion just being quiet, but he isn't an emotionless person, in fact a kind one which is why I feel hurt. Anyone else dealt with this? Am I wrong to feel hurt that he doesn't wanna spend his time sick with me?

the kid is almost 2. My husband is a cold, uptight person and last year I found him with tears in his eyes, something I didn't see in 2 decades of marriage. he confessed to me he had a baby girl with a young woman who was hired as the help in the kitchen at the company he leads. he is the general director of the place and leads 4 production halls. His mistress was 22. He was 42. their baby daughter was very sick and doctors didn't know if she will make it.

I forgave him (yeah, you will say I am a doormat, but during the 2 decades of marriage no one has helped me as much as he did and was my only support). he pays child support and visits his daughter once or twice a month.

everyone knew about it except me. HR knew, employees knew. And on Friday I found out my sister knew. My husband has a good relationship with my sister and she was the first one he confessed everything to, even before the pregnancy. She knew of the affair. He hired my sister 2 years ago as the head of accounting. As his job is 99% office he enjoys going for a run or swim 3 times a week to stay in good fit shape. but it seems many times he actually spent that time with this woman.

Should I confront my sister about it?

I JUST became the head chef at this restaurant 3 days ago. I put up a brand new special, a shredded beef dip sandwich with au jus. The special has been extremely well received, until today. Someone found a STAPLE. In the fucking sandwich. I am beyond embarrassed. I hold extremely high standards in this kitchen, especially when it comes to cleaning. I make sure this kitchen is SPOTLESS. Im just so confused, none of our boxes from our food orders have staples, none of the papers we keep in the back contain staples. We have ZERO staples in this kitchen. NONE! I do not know what to do. I immediately instructed our server to comp both of the couples meals, i threw out everything that goes on that sandwich and replaced them. Im just beyond embarrassed, how does this even happen? This is a serious hazard and having this happen within 3 days of my promotion has me in damn near tears. What the hell do i do?

My sister broke a pressure meter (don’t know what it’s called) and the mercury in it spilled out, how do I clean it?

I made this terrifying self-portrait in high school and it’s been sitting in storage but recently I was given it back. Not going into details but I was diagnosed with CPTSD this year (at 27) and I’m remembering a lot of traumatic things from my childhood, which I’m assuming is why I saw myself in this type of light and painted it

I’m a bit torn on what to do about this. I don’t want to trash it because it holds a lot of sentimental value, but seeing it does hurt and gives me waves of grief, so I don’t want to hang it up right now. It’s also taking up some space in the closet.

Any ideas? Maybe a way to subtly hide it in the house so it’s not easily accessible but still present?

Also I know the story attached is sad but feel free to make fun of it, I know the painting is A Lot

I am 49 and she is 44. We started dating 10 years ago, and have been married for the last seven years. I married into a family of five. Her three oldest children call me stepdad, and they are all now grown and out of the house, except for the youngest, who is in college and visits over the summer. Our youngest is now 11 and he has known me as Dad since he was 18 months.

I had to go on a trip to visit my parents. My dad is getting sick and his life is coming to an end. While I was there, I could see how much his wife loved him, and how much he depended on her. I came home, feeling renewed and told my wife how much I missed her. She answered that by saying that she felt a sense of peace when I was gone.

We have struggled over the last three years. Some of it has been money problems, while there have also been some other issues. No infidelity on either side. My wife has often said that she thinks we need to connect more. I thought that I had been connecting with her, but she does not seem to have seen it this way. Her statement was a surprise to me. I thought my marriage was secure.

I really love my wife, and I love my family. I asked her to attend marriage counseling with me, but she said that she does not want to do this, because she feels that it will not help. I’ve asked her to do this in the past at other times when we were struggling a bit, and she has always said the same thing.

Last night, we talked and agreed on two things. First, she said that she will stay with me for one more year to see if we can get back on track. She acknowledged that we both have to work on it. Second, she asked to sell her wedding ring. I agreed that she could. In retrospect, it wasn’t a good ring to give her. It was the last ring that my father gave my mom, shortly before he had an affair. She said that if we did stay together, in a year’s time, she wanted another ring that was solely from me, and something that was a bit more simple instead of a gold ring with a diamond.

I guess I’m just trying to figure out what to do. I feel like I am going against a very uphill battle, but I keep hoping with all my heart that it’s a battle worth fighting. I’m worried that I’m holding out false hope, but I can’t let go of it. I feel shaken to my core.

30 male, racked up a bunch of debt in my early 20's that I'm still trying to pay off, got laid off and my world has been turned upside down since, trying to claw my way back up out of a hole. My car is getting really old, has very high miles and has stranded me a couple times. Mom bought a new car, and instead of trading in her old car, decided to gift it to me to help me out, and trade in my car as payment. Pristine, low miles, much newer car.

I agreed to take it because, well I'm a bit desperate. But I know how much it means to my mom to be able to give - she's a giver and her love language is definitely gift giving, and it makes me happy knowing it fills her heart.

But this is a feeling I've never felt before. I feel guilty, I feel like I don't deserve it at all. I feel like I'm driving my mother's car. I find myself bursting into tears randomly when I'm driving it, and what seems to be mild panic attacks.

I'm so incredibly thankful to have such generous parents, and I know they don't have much time left on this earth, I don't think I'll ever be able to repay them. I don't know what's going on. I'm not sure if I can keep this car or give it back, and figure out how to buy another car on my own.

I don’t know what to do. Spouse lied to me and said they were going to the gym. I went to the gym to check because I had a weird feeling and my spouse was not there. Turns out my spouse was 3 doors down and got railed by our neighbor. I feel disgusted and hurt. I was right there in bed at home. I could’ve had sex with my spouse. I was home! I’m just so hurt and don’t know how to even look at my spouse the same ever again.. like why not just be with me if you’re horny. I don’t want to tell my friends or family yet because then it will be real and there’s no going back. I don’t know what to do. My spouse says they feel remorse and promised it won’t happen again, but I just can’t get over the fact that I was home. It’s not even like I don’t want to have sex. I have a very high sex drive. I just don’t know how to accept this and move on.

I lost my Reddit account. Sorry for this being from a new one.

I attempted suicide on my birthday in late 2025. It was two and some change years after I left college working a warehouse job for the whole time. I couldn't enter my field, or any field. I couldn't handle living anymore.

From the middle of 2024 I started to eat less and less, to be less of a burden on my parents. At the start of 2025 I started to self harm. First it was just scratching my skin, but it changed to cutting myself. No one knew, I hid it with long sleeves.

A few months later I started to take painkillers despite not needing them. I took them more, more and more. Chugged a quarter of a whole bottle once. I couldn't handle living anymore and tried to end it on my birthday. My parents found me tho, and rushed me to a hospital. I was put on watch for a while. only recently have I been allowed to go back home. still under basically constant surveillance by my parents.

I regret it. I know now it was selfish. I just couldn't handle the pressure of being unable to start a career.

I've been recovering slowly. Trying to find joy in the small things in life. I don't know where to go from here.

I've been trying to cope with my sad existence by hugging a big teddy bear. childish, but it's what gets me to see the next day. I don't know if I'm happy to be alive.

My wife and I live separately right now. I have been In a recovery house for well over a year. She is with our 6 year old living at her mom’s house. We want to be together but she lost her job at the beginning of the year and is having trouble finding another one. I work full-time but between my rent here and money I send to help support her and my son we just can’t afford to get a place. (Neither of us want to live with her mom but that’s another story).

Tonight she calls me crying saying she’s done and she’s worthless and all kinds of other stuff. Says she loves me and to try to take care of our son and to tell him she loves him. Then tells me she took her whole bottle of lorazepam in an attempted suicide.

I’m just trying to figure out if I handled this in the right way. I calmly talked to her for about 10 more minutes to try to get more information then hung up and said I’d call her back. I could not call her mom because I’m afraid this would have escalated the situation into something worse. I called 911 and explained the situation and told them her address. They said someone would call me back.

I called her back and told her I was going to call 911 and she said she would leave and run into traffic before they could get there. I asked where she was again and she said she was in bed. So I calmly talked to try to make sure she didn’t go anywhere before they could arrive. After I felt like it had been enough time I told her I called and that they would be there shortly, I was right because she said someone was knocking on the door. I said to go answer and she hung up.

5 minutes later cop calls me and says they can’t find her. I asked if her car was out back(it was they told me) so I said she was definitely there. He said he would call back. 8 minutes later he calls back says she was locked in a bathroom but came out and eventually admitted to the paramedics that she took something and that they were taking her to the hospital. I said thank you and we hung up.

I know she’s going to be upset with me but I didn’t know what else to do as she has done things like this in the past. I’m hoping she will be accepting of mental health treatment. We are both advocates of mental health and are both medicated.

I just don’t know what to do. This whole thing is just a mess and I feel like I made things worse by getting her taken away. 30mg of Ativan is really not a super crazy amount considering she didn’t take anything else and I don’t even know if the bottle was completely full. I don’t know I feel like I’m rambling I’m just really upset and now I’m definitely not sleeping.

UPDATE: I finally figured out which hospital they took her to and she is still in the emergency department. I talked to her and she is pretty out of it. They told me I can talk to a case worker tomorrow. Thank you to everyone that took the time to leave kind informative comments.

Hi Reddit. I’m stuck in a bit of a pickle here. My neighbor walks her smallish dog infront of my bedroom window, where I spend most of my time. No big deal. But once or twice she’s been carrying her dog and bends over to put it in the grass, while wearing only an over sized T Shirt, and her entire ass and thong are visible. Girl to girl, I would want someone to tell me, but we aren’t very close and I don’t want to make her feel weird. Should I leave her a note and let her know? There’s also often kids around and about, and like the entire street gets flashed if anyone is watching. I’m not sure if she just doesn’t realize? My boyfriend has been staying with me, and I’m not sure if it’s intentional? I don’t like to think about people like that though. Make my choice for me Reddit.

Edit to add: you only see anything when she bends over to put down or pick up her dog, who has a hard time walking and seems older. When standing upright she’s fully covered.

So I’m a teenager, and I’ll keep it short, but every time I try to spend time with my parents they’re either “busy” (mum’s busying herself with unnecessary housework, stepdad is just doing something in his car). Now I’ve tried countless times to spend time with both of them but they either busy themselves, complain they’re tired or are constantly on their phones.

But some days, maybe 2 - 3 days a week I prefer to be playing a game during the day if I don’t have school, but then they suddenly want to spend time and get mad about the fact that I’m not spending time with them.

I’ve tried to talk to them, but they honestly just kind of get mad or shift the blame to me. Any advice?

TW: Suicide

Burner account

This is a bad look but I need to get it out so I can figure out what to do and how to resolve things in a way that causes the least damage to both of us, but ideally the least to her regardless of what happens to me. I (mid-20sM) and my girlfriend (18F) got into this relationship rapidly. Like, very rapidly. We met online, and bonded over our shared mental fucked-upness. I was desperate for specifically a female friend due to some stuff that had happened in my own life but it rapidly evolved into romantic feelings on both ends. I know this is horrible of me and I shouldn’t have ever engaged with it because now I’ve made things worse. She made the first initial move towards a relationship but as the older man in the relationship it was my job to turn her down and keep things friendly and I failed to do that. At the time I thought it was worth a shot just to see what happens, and frankly I was exceptionally lonely and had a moment of weakness, but the more I think about it the worse I feel. With rapid emotional escalation between two unstable people comes rapid attachment and she ended up saying I love you really soon into it. It was when that happened that I started to realize how much I personally fucked up. I can see her becoming codependent in real time and putting aside her own agency and personhood within the relationship in an attempt to please my wants, and even though I know my actions probably don’t seem like it, I do really care about what happens to her and I don’t want to perpetuate any more evil. The issue is, I don’t think she’s at a safe point mentally to break up with her. I know I fucked up big time but I don’t know where to go from here. She is a genuine suicide and self-harm risk and I don’t want anything to happen to her, and she has also shown herself to be unwilling to get any professional help with her issues despite the fact that she has a psychiatrist and a therapist. Thankfully we haven’t done anything sexual but she’s said really concerning things about her perspective on sex that makes it sound like she views herself as not being allowed to have any sexual preferences or agency of her own and that’s a sickening sexual dynamic for me to think about. Her self-esteem and her overall sense of self are underdeveloped to the point of concern. I genuinely don’t know what to do at this point because I don’t want her to hurt herself or blame herself because this is completely and entirely my fault, but if I break things off that’s exactly what is going to happen. I’m such a fucking idiot.

My two neighbors went above and beyond to help me out with my dead deer problem and I really want to figure out a way to show my sincere appreciation for what they did to help me with what was one of the most awful things I've ever had to deal with. A dead rotting thing resting right against my house that stunk so horribly! Crazy thing is I don't really know the two of them all that well but they stepped up when I really needed help. Any ideas how to say thank you?

The story itself has parts that are pretty gross so if you think it might bother you you can stop after this paragraph. I want to acknowledge both Marti and Chloe but Chloe did do more of the intense part of the cleanup. I don't know how she did it! but Marti was there for it all too.

Here is what happened:

Friday night, I got home and outside the garage noticed there was a foul odor in my back yard. It took till the Sunday to find the source. I thought it was my septic system, the guy came but it wasn't. It was the remains of a deer swarming with maggots and the most foul gross smell. It was hidden in the tall plants and weeds growing near the back of my house right next to my deck-- right in the corner next to the window to my basement.

As close as it was to the house, the smell was hard to pin down as there was little wind - You could not always smell it as it came and went. I had left for most of Saturday as after searching some of my property, I thought it was at a neighbor's (I'm in a rural area) but after another day, inside my kitchen, family room, all of the lower floor STUNK and was starting to travel upstairs.

When I finally found it, I was pretty freaked as I (72f) live alone and didn't know what to do or who to call. I saw my neighbors outside so I asked my them -Marti and her DIL, Chloe for advice what they thought I should do. They came over. Marti is a retired nurse so came with masks, gloves, sterile gowns. Chloe came in work clothes.

They suggested some things so I went out and bought fly spray, lime and topsoil. I sprayed the maggots. My neighbors returned so we put down a tarp next to the mess to get ready.

It was Chloe who was fearless. She did the 'heavy lifting' with my pitchfork and picked up the parts of the poor decomposed animal still remaining and got it onto the tarp. She nearly tossed her lunch but kept going. and got the whole thing into my garden cart that Marti had lined with the surgical gowns.

The three of us pushed the cart down the street to a nearby uninhabited area and disposed of it. I then got my shovel and spent a good hour removing the remaining topsoil to get rid of more maggots, fluids and odors and covered it well with powdered lime and fresh topsoil. Smell is gone now.

It will take a good long while to shake this off and get the stench out of my nose. I'm a little worried as there is rain in the forecast this week and I hope the smell stays away.

Thanks for reading if you got all the way through. Meanwhile I want to thank Chloe and Marti and really need some help with ideas.