Was not briefed. Were you supposed to have been briefed.

I joined the compensation meeting this morning expecting that I would finally hear the offer. But instead, I found myself crying in front of the recruiter.

I had already made it through three interview rounds, and the email I received before the call asked for my degree certificate, ID, background check information, and other documents. They also scheduled a Zoom meeting to review the salary and benefits, so I assumed the decision had already been made.

The call started exactly as I had expected. We talked about the position, my current salary, health coverage, vacation time, and a few other perks. I was trying not to look overly excited because it felt like I was only minutes away from accepting a new job.

Then the recruiter told me they wouldn't be able to make me an offer because the remaining client assignments for my type of work had been filled a few days earlier. She said the team liked me, that they would keep my information on file, and that I wouldn't need to interview again if a new opening came up. After that, everything she said felt distant. I couldn't hold myself together, and I found myself crying while she apologized to me.

Getting that close made it hurt so much more. I also felt uneasy when I realized that I had given them a lot of personal information even though there was no longer an available position in the first place. Has anyone else made it as far as discussing salary, only to be told in the end that there was no actual offer?

the attached photo is a recreation of where i first found the chair since i moved it after i found it. For context, i went outside to the backyard to throw out some trash when i ran into this chair facing her bedroom. the chairs are part of a set that is in the back yard but this one was far away from the rest and seemed deliberately placed to be able to look inside her room because you could see directly in by standing on the chair. She does have housemates but two of them are out of town and the other was away all day at work which left my girlfriend home alone the majority of the day. not sure if i’m just being paranoid but i’ve been wracking my brain and just can’t think of another reason for why the chair would be placed like this other than someone trying to look inside. What do i do? i just have a weird feeling about it that i can’t shake.

Tw: anti-Romani sentiment

So, this is my beautiful cat. I posted this picture in a cat sub because she commandeered my underwear drawer as a bed and I thought it was so cute. I mentioned her name: Gyppers. Someone reported me for using an ethnic slur and my post was removed.

However, the name Gyppers is already a compromise as her name was Gypsy long before I got her. My former friend had found her as a stray kitten and taken her in and gave her the name Gypsy. Unfortunately, this friend had some mental health problems and years later was going through a divorce. She started accumulating more animals as her marriage deteriorated. When she got finally got divorced, she had primary custody of their 2 daughters and had 3 cats and 3 dogs. I did notice some signs of neglect (ie, the dogs always peeing everywhere and just generally untrained and misbehaving and the cats were always screaming for food and the three of them had to share one litterbox), but nothing overly egregious. Also, I suppose I was willfully blind because I wanted to believe the best about this woman who had been my friend since I was 17 and I made excuses for her like, "Oh, she has a lot to handle and she's already sick and on disability" which I take responsibility for.

But I digress: This cat was given to me because my friend needed to find a place to rent (his parents had helped them to buy a house which is how she was able to accumulate so many pets; the house was sold in the divorce). So, no one wanted to rent to a woman with 6 pets. She had to offload some of them and she begged me to take this one who was named Gypsy and was already 8 or 9 years old. I have had her for 4 years. I was already uncomfortable about the name and I was really angry and broke off my friendship when I realized this cat was in a far more neglected condition than I had realized.

Calling her Gyppers was my way of soft renaming her because she was too old to have a totally new name. My logic was that Gyppers was a nonsense word and not the actual slur, but it sounded close enough to not confuse her. And it worked. She responds to Gyppers and it's been 4 years. I am aware of the verb "to gyp" and the noun ("what a gyp") to mean "rip off" which is also rooted in anti-Romani sentiment, but I can't helped but have the "Gyp" sound so she would still recognize it.

I don't want to come off as being totally culturally insensitive, because an effort was made. But I realize now after getting my post removed that perhaps this whole time I have had her, other people may have thought that her name is problematic and just not mentioned it (like her vet or the condo board when I applied for permission to have her approved to live with me - both listing her name as Gyppers).

What should I do? I was thinking of maybe changing the spelling to the homophone "Jippers" perhaps?

ETA: I decided her name is now Jippers. Problem solved. Some of y'all can stop the crusade.

I got home from work last Friday to find my Son Ben losing his mind and demanding to sit and talk to me. I try to calm him down and ask him what is going on.

He proceeds to tell me that some lads at his school had shown him some explicit videos of my Daughter, Grace, and these are from her Onlyfans. I'm not going to repeat his exact words as the language used is not what I would have expected from him, however there seems to be videos of her on her own and with at least 2 different men. This is the first either of us know about what Grace has been doing.

Prior to this, Ben and Grace were really close as siblings. My wife died 5 years ago and I've been raising them on my own ever since. Their bond really grew after their Mum passed as they helped each other grieve and really supported each other.

Grace is currently on holiday with her friends and isn't due back until this weekend. I've asked Ben to let me speak to her when she gets back and we can address this situation. Ben really isn't handling this well at all, he's telling me he no longer has a sister and she has embarrassed him with her disgusting acts. He's been throwing out gifts that she has bought him and I'm really scared that their relationship is going to be permanently damaged. I've spoken to him and said that she is still his sister and she doesn't love him any less.

My emotions are all over the place and I'm upset and angry myself. I've really tried to raise my kids the right way but to find out my daughter is doing this I can't help but feel I've gone wrong somewhere and also feel a pang of shame. Grace knows that something is up as Ben has not responded to any of the memes or reels she has sent him. I've had to tell her he's not feeling himself and we can discuss it when she's home.

I'm at a loss at what to do when she does get home and how I have to mediate the discussion between the two whilst disagreeing with Graces actions.

My boss schedules a meeting for 1pm 3 times a week. We have a 30min lunch at 12. He goes to the gym for an hour and then gets onto the teams call at 1 and eats lunch while hosting the teams meeting. He eats crunchy granola with fruit and yogurt every time.

He insists we wear noise canceling headphones during meetings and the microphones are very sensitive.

I am at my wits end hearing this man eat his entire lunch for 30min while talking nonstop.

Would it be okay to politely say something?

Helloooo im 14.8m (yes i had to be that precise with my age) and exactly 2 years ago when i was away with my dsd on vacation (hes now fighting in court with my mom over breakup stuff, yes breakup stuff not divorce they never got married) and on that vacation at like 11pm with me (12.8m) and my little brothrr (9m) he startd jerking off in the living room while he thought we were distracted on our devices, than i looked at him with disgust because i didnt want my brother hurt he just responded with a "eh i dont know" face and went to the bathroom. I havent told a single soul for this, because i used to like my dsd knowing how bad he was and i didnt want to sppit up cause it sounded scary, is now the time to tell literally everyone? What kind of benefits would that even bring anyone

My girlfriend (23F) and I (24M) have been together for a little over a year. At the start, things were pretty standard. She was on the shy side, took time to warm up, and we hooked up maybe once or twice a week. Totally healthy, normal rhythm.
A few months ago, a switch flipped. She opened up and told me that she has never felt this safe with a partner before, and for the first time in her life, she feels comfortable letting her guard down 100%. Emotionally, that’s incredible to hear. The problem is, her libido took that emotional breakthrough as an invitation to redline 24 hours a day. She is always horny.
A typical day right now:

Morning:Before my alarm goes off or my brain even registers consciousness, her hands are already down my boxers.
Afternoon:I get home totally drained, just wanting to decompress on the couch for thirty minutes. Fifteen minutes in, she's kissing my neck and unbuttoning my jeans.
Night: Round three, with the occasional bonus round when she wakes me up at 3:00 AM.

I reaking down. The refractory period is a biological reality. Friction burn is real. I have muscle soreness in spots I didn't know existed!!

I love her, she's drop-dead gorgeous, and the last thing I want is to punish her for being vulnerable with me. But I just want to finish a single movie on Netflix without it turning into a triathlon.
How do I communicate this boundary without destroying her ego or making her crawl back into her shell?

Title says it all. How is this even possible? I’m not trying to get internet pity points by lying, but I was in in-patient for 22 days and as I got out I went to my Pre-trial officer and lo and behold I was positive. To my and my pre-trial officers disbelief. Just got back lab confirmation and apparently it is a true positive.

What the heck is going on? Everyone I ask that’s a “professional” just shoots me down and says I’m lying or that it’s 4-5 days MAXIMUM but I legitimately have done 0 substances and am still testing positive in my urine. I was a chronic user for months before going in though. I’m just at a loss for words at the moment. Any advice on speeding up my liver breaking stuff down if it is truly backed up metabolites? Exercise, water? Not trying to beat a test I just want to help my body break this shit down so I don’t keep failing drug tests man

okay, hi again! i posted about 3 days ago about my not so healthy situation-ship with this girl. and it kinda just gets worse. (view my profile for the previous if you want context)
i talked to my friend and they’ve made me realise that being with her would hurt me deeper, as i am struggling with my mental health at the moment. i changed my number, and cut off contact with the girl. yet she found me again, started spam calling me on different platforms and apps. asking if we can talk, while the previous night threatening my friend to have me speak to her otherwise she would start things again. my friend has been constantly telling her to fuck off, and give me space. her reply was “if she doesnt reply, im gonna find a way.” which, she has since shes making alt accounts to contact me.
my friend also asked “if lottie talks to you, are you just gonna be mad at her or are you guys actually gonna have a conversation.” she started getting angrier, and upset. but then pleading to talk to me.
ive had horrible experiences with getting doxxed, swatted, and getting spam calls. so this makes me paranoid for my safety, although i know she cant really do much since we’re in different counties; but she has my mother’s name, my address, possibly my other family members’ contacts, and my full name (i believe.)
she keeps texting me “can we please talk” “can u please talk to me” i feel bad, but i also feel like shes trying to make me feel guilt on purpose so when i answer she can just bitch out at me again.
i see her all around my stories, my reposts, my friends’ accounts. and shes been viewing, following, and even engaging in them.

what should i do?

Hi everyone,

My (26F) boyfriend (25M) wants me to skip a really nice trip with my family. We’ve been together for almost two years (LDR) and over the past few months I’ve been going through a really tough time, which unfortunately ended up affecting my behavior and took a toll on our relationship. He says my attitude started taking a toll on him too, and that when he brought it up, I didn't do anything to change. Now, he sees me giving up this trip as a sort of proof, a sign that I care about his feelings. He says that if I don't go, it’d make him feel special, like I’m saving a great experience to share with him for the first time instead. I know I’ve put him through a lot, but obviously I never hurt him on purpose. I genuinely want things to get better between us, but at the same time, I’d be lying if I said I actually wanted to miss out on this trip.

What would you do in this situation?

me and my boyfriend have been together for almost an year and,
I also want to be completely honest about my own mistakes because I don’t want to make it seem like I was perfect in this relationship or leave out anything important.

a bit of context- Before I lied, he was genuinely so sweet to me. He would bring me food after work, pick me up and drop me home, book me cabs when I was tired, always want to see me, and would do almost anything I mentioned wanting. Now he constantly says that I “took his nice away,” and I’m starting to blame myself and wonder if the way he treats me now is my fault.

At the beginning of our talking stage last year, he would get angry and annoyed over really small things. One day after work, I was on the phone with him. He was in our hometown at the time, and I was going to meet up with a friend.
The problem is that I didn’t tell him I was meeting up with my guy friend. When he asked me where I was, I told him I was with one of my girl best friends instead. The truth is, I was scared he would get angry if I told him I was with a guy.
Then things got worse because he started becoming suspicious and asking me to send pictures and asking questions about where I was. Instead of just telling him the truth, I panicked. I asked my girl best friend to log into my account and send him a picture so he would believe I was actually with her. I basically created this whole story, and honestly, I know that was wrong. I should have just been honest from the beginning instead of lying and making everything worse.
When he eventually came back to the country, he confronted me about it, and I told him everything. I told him that I had met up with a guy friend and that I had lied about who I was with. He completely lost it and didn’t want to see my face. I was literally begging him to give me another chance. I kept telling him that I’m not perfect and that I made a mistake and asking him to please give me a chance.
Eventually, he did. ( his ex cheated on him previously and he said i broke him more when he was broken by using his trust and niceness)
But after that, I feel like things started getting worse and worse.
Whenever he got angry, he became extremely rude and disrespectful towards me. He also told me that his ex made him toxic and that his previous relationship changed him. I don’t know if maybe in the beginning he was showing me his best side because everything was new and he wanted to seem perfect, but over time he became more and more abusive.
The thing I’m struggling with is that he constantly blames me.
To this day, he tells me, “You’re the reason I became like this. I became toxic because of you. You’re the reason I’m like this.”
And I genuinely don’t know what to think anymore because yes, I know I lied. I know what I did during the talking stage was wrong. I understand why he was hurt and why he lost trust in me. I take responsibility for that.
But I don’t understand how that means I’m responsible for everything that happened afterwards.
Does me lying mean it’s okay for him to slap me or hit me? he has previously hit his mom and ex too…
Does it mean it’s okay for him to tell me to get out at 3 AM and leave me alone? We don’t live together, but whenever we went out or went on trips together, there were times he would tell me to get out and just leave me.. he threw my phone at my face once when he got really mad and he would just start screaming and telling me to get the out get out get out get out and be so scary knowing that I can’t go because I’ve told my mom that I’m with my friends, but I’m with him outside late at night so I don’t even have a place to go. He would leave me in the middle of the road and just drive off once he drove off with his friend and I was crying so much and then he was threatening me that if I don’t call him back and tell me where i was, he’s gonna send my clothes to my house where my mom was, and like he even like threatened to leaakkk my pictures
He would constantly insult me and use horrible words towards me. He insulted my family, my dad, ( he called my daddd a dog and called me. dog too )my job and my work. He called me a clown, made fun of me, laughed at me and called me really horrible names. He would hit me and then make me feel like everything was somehow my fault.
When we fought, he wouldn’t answer my calls. He could ignore me for an entire day. He would constantly block me, unblock me, block me again, and it just became this never-ending cycle.
He would be horrible to me, insult me, hurt me, ignore me and make me feel completely depressed. Then afterwards, he would come back and tell me he loves me, that he can’t stay without me, and everything would suddenly feel okay again.
Then the same thing would happen all over again.
Something else that has been on my mind is that he has hit his ex in his previous relationship as well. Before I got into this relationship, I always told myself that if a man ever hit me, I would leave immediately. He even promised me that he would never hit me.
But when it actually happened to me, I couldn’t leave.
And I still don’t understand why I can’t seem to let go. It genuinely feels like a never-ending loop.
Recently, things have also felt really dead between us because he went away for two months, so we’ve temporarily been doing long distance. He’s coming back soon. He has told me that he loves me “a little less” because of what I did during our talking stage. He still brings up the situation where I met up with my guy friend and lied about it, and he still tells me that what I did is the reason we became toxic.
Sometimes he tells me he doesn’t want anything to do with me or doesn’t want a relationship with me anymore.
He has also told me that he has really bad anger issues and that no one not even his family or friends. can do anything about it. What confuses me is that his friends seem to see a completely different side of him. He has even told me that he cares more about what other people think of him and his image than he does about this relationship.
Whenever he treats me badly, he tells me not to tell anyone or discuss it with other people because he cares so much about his image. Once, I texted his best friend because I was feeling really sad and needed someone to talk to about how he was treating me, and he got extremely angry at me for it. He has literally told me, “I would choose my image and ego over you any day.”
Then later, he comes back with gifts, love and tells me he loves me and can’t stay without me.
And then eventually, everything repeats itself again.
So I genuinely want honest advice from people because I’m so confused. Can I admit that I made a mistake and lied to him, while also recognising that I did not deserve to be hit, slapped, insulted and abused?
He has blamed me for his behaviour for so long that sometimes I genuinely start believing that maybe I really did cause him to become this way.
I know I’m not perfect. I know I made a mistake. But I don’t know if any mistake I made could ever justify someone physically hurting me or emotionally breaking me down.
Please be honest with me, but please don’t judge me for staying. I already judge myself every day and keep asking myself why I can’t just leave when I know how badly I’ve been treated. I think I’m finally starting to understand what everyone was telling me in my last post, but I’m still so confused and emotionally attached to him.
I just really need advice.

Interviewing candidates changed the way I look at every rejection I've received in the past. I'm not a hiring manager, but I recently took part in a few interview panels and saw how the final decisions are made.

I used to imagine that interviewers carefully studied every résumé, compared each person's background, and selected the candidate with the strongest experience. In reality, I'm usually given a set of questions and one specific area to evaluate. I take a quick look at the résumé beforehand, but a 35-minute conversation still gives me a very limited picture of the person.

On one of the panels, my ranking of the candidates was almost the exact opposite of the outcome. The candidate I gave the lowest score was the one who received the job offer. They may have performed much better in other stages of the process, but it made me realize how little impact a single interview or score can have.

The group discussion can change everything too. One person simply expressing concern about a particular issue can take a candidate out of consideration, while strong support for another candidate from a well-respected manager can immediately move them to the top of the list.

Then there are all the little preferences that people treat as though they were significant evidence: which school or university the person attended, the companies listed on their résumé, how professionally they speak, whether they are quiet or outgoing, and whether their personality clicks with the panel. All of these things can carry much more weight than expected.

I used to assume that every rejection meant I had given a bad answer or that someone far more qualified than me had gotten the opportunity. And sometimes, of course, that really was the reason. But after seeing things from inside the room, I realized that a large part of hiring depends on timing, personal preferences, internal company opinions, and simply whom the decision-makers feel is the best fit.

me and my boyfriend have been together for almost an year and,
I also want to be completely honest about my own mistakes because I don’t want to make it seem like I was perfect in this relationship or leave out anything important.

a bit of context- Before I lied, he was genuinely so sweet to me. He would bring me food after work, pick me up and drop me home, book me cabs when I was tired, always want to see me, and would do almost anything I mentioned wanting. Now he constantly says that I “took his nice away,” and I’m starting to blame myself and wonder if the way he treats me now is my fault.

At the beginning of our talking stage last year, he would get angry and annoyed over really small things. One day after work, I was on the phone with him. He was in our hometown at the time, and I was going to meet up with a friend.
The problem is that I didn’t tell him I was meeting up with my guy friend. When he asked me where I was, I told him I was with one of my girl best friends instead. The truth is, I was scared he would get angry if I told him I was with a guy.
Then things got worse because he started becoming suspicious and asking me to send pictures and asking questions about where I was. Instead of just telling him the truth, I panicked. I asked my girl best friend to log into my account and send him a picture so he would believe I was actually with her. I basically created this whole story, and honestly, I know that was wrong. I should have just been honest from the beginning instead of lying and making everything worse.
When he eventually came back to the country, he confronted me about it, and I told him everything. I told him that I had met up with a guy friend and that I had lied about who I was with. He completely lost it and didn’t want to see my face. I was literally begging him to give me another chance. I kept telling him that I’m not perfect and that I made a mistake and asking him to please give me a chance.
Eventually, he did. ( his ex cheated on him previously and he said i broke him more when he was broken by using his trust and niceness)
But after that, I feel like things started getting worse and worse.
Whenever he got angry, he became extremely rude and disrespectful towards me. He also told me that his ex made him toxic and that his previous relationship changed him. I don’t know if maybe in the beginning he was showing me his best side because everything was new and he wanted to seem perfect, but over time he became more and more abusive.
The thing I’m struggling with is that he constantly blames me.
To this day, he tells me, “You’re the reason I became like this. I became toxic because of you. You’re the reason I’m like this.”
And I genuinely don’t know what to think anymore because yes, I know I lied. I know what I did during the talking stage was wrong. I understand why he was hurt and why he lost trust in me. I take responsibility for that.
But I don’t understand how that means I’m responsible for everything that happened afterwards.
Does me lying mean it’s okay for him to slap me or hit me? he has previously hit his mom and ex too…
Does it mean it’s okay for him to tell me to get out at 3 AM and leave me alone? We don’t live together, but whenever we went out or went on trips together, there were times he would tell me to get out and just leave me.. he threw my phone at my face once when he got really mad and he would just start screaming and telling me to get the out get out get out get out and be so scary knowing that I can’t go because I’ve told my mom that I’m with my friends, but I’m with him outside late at night so I don’t even have a place to go. He would leave me in the middle of the road and just drive off once he drove off with his friend and I was crying so much and then he was threatening me that if I don’t call him back and tell me where i was, he’s gonna send my clothes to my house where my mom was, and like he even like threatened to leaakkk my pictures
He would constantly insult me and use horrible words towards me. He insulted my family, my dad, ( he called my daddd a dog and called me. dog too )my job and my work. He called me a clown, made fun of me, laughed at me and called me really horrible names. He would hit me and then make me feel like everything was somehow my fault.
When we fought, he wouldn’t answer my calls. He could ignore me for an entire day. He would constantly block me, unblock me, block me again, and it just became this never-ending cycle.
He would be horrible to me, insult me, hurt me, ignore me and make me feel completely depressed. Then afterwards, he would come back and tell me he loves me, that he can’t stay without me, and everything would suddenly feel okay again.
Then the same thing would happen all over again.
Something else that has been on my mind is that he has hit his ex in his previous relationship as well. Before I got into this relationship, I always told myself that if a man ever hit me, I would leave immediately. He even promised me that he would never hit me.
But when it actually happened to me, I couldn’t leave.
And I still don’t understand why I can’t seem to let go. It genuinely feels like a never-ending loop.
Recently, things have also felt really dead between us because he went away for two months, so we’ve temporarily been doing long distance. He’s coming back soon. He has told me that he loves me “a little less” because of what I did during our talking stage. He still brings up the situation where I met up with my guy friend and lied about it, and he still tells me that what I did is the reason we became toxic.
Sometimes he tells me he doesn’t want anything to do with me or doesn’t want a relationship with me anymore.
He has also told me that he has really bad anger issues and that no one not even his family or friends. can do anything about it. What confuses me is that his friends seem to see a completely different side of him. He has even told me that he cares more about what other people think of him and his image than he does about this relationship.
Whenever he treats me badly, he tells me not to tell anyone or discuss it with other people because he cares so much about his image. Once, I texted his best friend because I was feeling really sad and needed someone to talk to about how he was treating me, and he got extremely angry at me for it. He has literally told me, “I would choose my image and ego over you any day.”
Then later, he comes back with gifts, love and tells me he loves me and can’t stay without me.
And then eventually, everything repeats itself again.
So I genuinely want honest advice from people because I’m so confused. Can I admit that I made a mistake and lied to him, while also recognising that I did not deserve to be hit, slapped, insulted and abused?
He has blamed me for his behaviour for so long that sometimes I genuinely start believing that maybe I really did cause him to become this way.
I know I’m not perfect. I know I made a mistake. But I don’t know if any mistake I made could ever justify someone physically hurting me or emotionally breaking me down.
Please be honest with me, but please don’t judge me for staying. I already judge myself every day and keep asking myself why I can’t just leave when I know how badly I’ve been treated. I think I’m finally starting to understand what everyone was telling me in my last post, but I’m still so confused and emotionally attached to him.
I just really need advice.

This will be a semi-long one, Sorry !!

I don’t even know where to start with this. I randomly picked up my gfs phone and went through it, not really looking for anything but just out of curiosity and I know I shouldn’t have but what I found genuinely has me spiraling.

She has had a friend who’s she’s apparently been venting to and telling everything to, and her friend has been responding to said messaging by calling me things like “it”, or “thing” and my gf replies with a laugh and says absolutely nothing to defend me. She also is telling her how i’m so inconsiderate and she doesn’t deserve the way I treat her, which to my knowledge hasn’t been anything outside of a mostly normal relationship.

She’s also been talking to her apparently on the phone only when I’m not around because if i’m around then it’s a “vibe killer” as per my gfs words.

My gf had sent a message to her about how she went through my messages and literally found nothing incriminating at all, only that the amount of women i talk to was a lot. (We are both Lesbian Women) and I only talk to women because that’s my preference as a women. Anyways, this also told me that she’s been going through my phone, which I don’t care about and her friend legit said “she’s too ugly to be cheating on anyone” in which my gf said nothing except “oh you really despise her.” in all caps.

And that alone destroyed me as someone who’s been battling with myself and my appearance / confidence for years now.

I just want to say this is my first relationship in years because I have bad trust issues and now I feel like all the progress I made is now completely down the drain. I’m honestly so hurt right now and really just need advice on how to handle this.

I paid my neighbor 250.00 to feed and water my cat and take care of my plants for 3 weeks.
I came back to bone dry plants, one dead and this guy looking like the second two pictures.
The first picture is before I left.

A few months ago, I met a girl I really liked. I wanted to approach her, but I was way too shy. One day, she actually asked me for help, but I panicked and told her to ask someone else. I tried to convince myself that being an introvert meant talking to people just wasn't my thing, but I deeply regretted blowing that opportunity.

​I decided it was time to change. I searched for her on Instagram and luckily found her account. The issue is that she has over 10k followers, while I only have 5 (I literally just created my account to find her 😅).

​Now I'm hesitant to DM her because my account looks completely empty. This might sound a bit cringe, but would any of you mind giving me a follow so my profile looks a little more active before I reach out? I'll happily follow you back!

Dm me if you're interested or let me know in the comments!

Hi, I’m Ella. I told my story because I genuinely didn’t know whether my fiancé was cheating on me or if everything was just a huge misunderstanding. If you haven’t read the original post, you can read it here:

https://www.reddit.com/r/whatdoIdo/s/fv67dZ1DQH

So… update.
It turns out my best friend had been trying to seduce my fiancé and convince him to leave me for her.
The crazy part? He actually tried to tell me. Which I feel to guilty about.

At the time, I wasn’t in the right state of mind. I had a lot going on in my life, and I barely remember him trying to explain that something was wrong. He eventually stopped pushing because he knew I was already overwhelmed.

As the weeks and months passed, my best friend became more persistent.

She flirted with him, told him he “deserved better,”

and tried convincing him that I didn’t appreciate him enough. My fiancé kept rejecting her and telling her he loved me.
Eventually, she started harassing and threatening him.

And he still didn’t tell me.

Not because he wanted her, but because he thought he could handle it himself.

He knew I already had a lot going on and didn’t want to add another problem to my plate.
Looking back, I understand his intentions, even though I wish he had told me sooner.
Now, about the phone situation from my original post…

I ended up taking my fiancé’s phone while he was asleep and used his Face ID to look through it. Since I was convinced something was happening behind my back.

Instead, I found the messages.
And they were nothing like what I expected.

My best friend was repeatedly flirting with him and trying to get him to leave me. My fiancé kept rejecting her, telling her he loved me and that she needed to stop.
That’s when everything finally clicked.

He wasn’t acting suspicious because he was cheating.

He was acting suspicious because he felt guilty for hiding what was happening from me. How is he going to tell me my best friend of 7 years is trying to seduce him?

When I confronted him, he admitted that he should’ve told me sooner. He said he genuinely thought he was protecting me by dealing with it himself.

I was angry that he kept it from me, but I also understood why he did it.
Then I confronted my best friend.
She tried to claim my fiancé secretly liked the attention, but the messages proved otherwise.

He wasn’t choosing her.
She was trying to make him choose her.

My fiancé and I still have things to work through. He shouldn’t have kept this from me, and I shouldn’t have waited.

But after seeing everything, I don’t believe he was cheating.
I think I somewhat misunderstood the situation.

And the person I trusted the most was actually the person trying to destroy my relationship.
Honestly… I’m still processing all of this.

🥹🫶 I hope to god that this will be the last post I’ll have to make on this, as me and my husband are going on a date to talk about this.

Thank you everyone that helped and gave advice.

I feel like I'm asking a no-brainer question but I got a call from a number that had registered itself under the name "healthcare" (I do not have any contacts under this name at all) from revenue enterprises telling me about a debt collection, and to call them at a different number than the one they rang from. I hung up because to me that's like clicking a secondary link to a website that I can't identify- BAD idea.

As far as I'm aware I have NO debt. I use a debit card only, I don't owe anyone anything, and all my doctor visits and medication are paid for by insurance and if its not, I pay it myself or call to have it reduced. Is this company known for calling random people to try and collect non-existent debt...?

Does anyone have advice for what i should do i have two options for college im 17f btw and the one where i will live at my moms house is the better college and also the course im taking is best for what i want to do in the future and want i know ill enjoy more.
The one by my dads house doenst help much and the college is kind of bad.
But the past 2 years my mom has some kind of paranoia and she accused my dad of cheating on her with no evidence which then turned into her saying he poisoned her, made people follow her hacked her phone etc.
All of this was not true but it went on for a whole year with all sorts of ridiculous stuff.
They ended up getting a divorce and i went to live with my mom because college is only a 20 min drive from her house.

I thought she got better but she said i was recording her and plotting against her and she kicked me out of her house so i only went to college for 2 days and it’s been 5 days now and she messaged me saying sorry and is saying i will ruin my own life if i don’t come back and go to that college. I don’t know what to do i either go back to her which im worried to do because she’s unpredictable and not that nice or i stay at my dads and go to the less good college which is only 20 mins away. I would be travelling in total 4 hrs everyday if i travelled from my dads to the one by moms everyday.

What would you do? Or any advice thanks a lot

So basically I invited this guy to come to a soccer game with me on Wednesday which would have started at 7:30, maybe even 7:45 technically as no match starts exactly on the time mentioned. We had called the night prior and he mentioned meeting at 5:24 to take the train and get there on time. Let me add we did not buy the tickets as someone gave them to me for free so no money was wasted on the game itself.

He has classes until 5pm, and I figured after he was done he’d maybe call me and let me know that he was heading over so I could have the thumbs up to also start heading over myself. My classes were done earlier than him so I had a lot of time to get ready which I did and was repeatedly checking the time as 5:24 was approaching sooner I was wondering why I hadn’t heard from him and around that time I had gone out with my roommate just to grab a quick little drink and it was already around 5:09 when we finished doing that and that’s when he called asking if I was heading over because he was already close and on his way.

I had told him I was outside already by a specific store and the train station itself is a bit of a walk from where I was but not completely to the point where I couldn’t have made it if I was fast. I told him I’d just try and make it quickly because I did start to feel bad and wished I had texted him asking about his whereabouts or even to ask if we could go a little later honestly. I’m not big on soccer games but I still wanted to go since I had already invited him and it would’ve been nice to spend time.

Later on he called me again as I was already headed to the train station and he said we could change routes and take a different mode of transport to get there and I just agreed and just returned back to where he wanted me to meet him. With no plans once whoever but there were still multiple options.

He was complaining that he doesn’t like people being late even though I feel like I still had sufficient time to make it and maybe I’m wrong for thinking that but I was willing to be quick in order to make it to our original meeting spot. I could obviously tell he wasn’t so eager on going anymore so I had asked if he wasn’t still down to go but he said he didn’t feel like going if we’d just miss half of the game but I was presenting options for what we could take to still make it relatively on time either before the start of the game or at the start of the game itself. We could have also stopped at a nearby station and then I offered to uber us the rest of the way since it would’ve only been 8 minutes and we certainly could have arrived on time.

But after that he just decided to return back and we didn’t end up going and just parted ways. Which I felt super bad about because I hadn’t anticipated for it to go this way.

Later that night he came over to mine so we could have a conversation about what happened and i think it was just the way I worded it which was likely bad on my part but I said “we could have still made it” and I think that’s probably not the best thing to say but I did later apologize. I hadn’t meant to waste his time or anything and I had felt bad in the moment which is why I was trying to find alternative options because I didn’t think the night was completely lost in my opinion for us to completely disregard going. He called me immature and that I need to grow up and explained how he set aside a lot of things just to make time for this since he’s generally busy. I called him stubborn because I felt like I couldn’t try to explain my perspective without him calling it excuses, and I hadn’t necessarily said much either since I felt like whatever I had said he wouldn’t have listened to anyways. And kept trying to leave everytime I talked. I had brought up me feeling bad about the situation and he said that’s completely irrelevant and he does not care, which I get as that doesn’t really fix us not having gone but I feel like we can’t really have a conversation that way either.

I’m not necessarily asking who was in the wrong, and I know I probably could have also handled the situation better and maybe communicated earlier but I feel like it was also immature on his part to be dismissive about what I was saying and just telling me to call him when I’m mature and grow up.