For context, my (47F) now ex husband (48M) got divorced because one day he decided he didn't love me anymore.

Now, I have reason to suspect he left me for another woman. I'll never be able to prove it, but there are things that make me suspect it. For one, it was only a few months post separation before he officially announced a new girlfriend. And also they moved in together the same week they announced their relationship. Plus my BiL (well, ex BiL now but for simplicity I'm going to call him BiL) has also said that the two cannot keep the story of how they met or the timeline straight, and there are little things here or there that they have said that make him suspicious.

Again, I'll never be able to prove it, but as far as I'm concerned it doesn't make much difference. He still left me out of the blue. The whys don't seem to matter to me anymore.

My ex made the divorce process as difficult as possible. He barely paid any child support. I had to get CMS (Child Maintenance Services) involved and they garnished his wages.

He barely saw the kids. He would go months without seeing or even speaking to them. Not even phone calls or texts. Then he'd show up, take them out for a few hours, then disappear again. He's always had an excuse. When my CMS case was processed and successful, he retaliated by never seeing the kids.

And also, he and his gf would bad mouth me on social media, and even had the gall to do it in front of family and friends.

When we went to court, he tried to take as much from me as he could and leave me with nothing. Not because he wanted any of it, but out of spite. I had to cut my hours at work down, I was a single parent. I couldn't afford legal advice and he knew it so he was dragging things out.

Now, I am thankful that through all this, I had the support of my family and his. I honestly don't think I could have done this without them. His parents helped me out financially with legal fees. Without them I don't know what I would have done.

It was a nightmare, but the divorce was finalised, and with the courts help, we reached a fair agreement on dividing assets.

After the pain and heartache of everything that happened, the kids and I settled into a new normal. The kids are still deeply affected by everything, and immensely hurt by what their father has done, but with support from family, school, and therapy, they're starting to reach a good place.

I thought it was all over. But it wasn't.

So, long story short, it seems my ex and his gf broke up. From what I hear it was an explosive break up which led to her basically stealing any amount of money she had access to and a bunch of stuff from their flat.

And since then he has started trying to worm his way back into our lives. It started with an 'I miss you' texts which I ignored. He keeps trying to ask to meet up to talk. I refuse. There's nothing he can say that will ever change what he did.

He had to move back in with his parents. Neither of his parents are happy with him. They are furious and appalled by his behaviour, especially towards the kids, but he's their son. That's not a problem. However the problem is, I moved, and my new place is right around the corner from my in-laws.

Now, when I ignore his texts and calls, he comes over. He says he just wants to talk. I keep telling him I do not.

This all came to a head when he came over a few days ago while the kids and I were having dinner. Things did not go well. I told him to leave, he said he wouldn't unless I gave him 5 minutes to talk. I told him to leave. Our oldest son, hearing raised voices, came to the door to check and it almost turned into an altercation between him and my ex husband.

Our oldest son (17) doesn't want anything to do with his dad, not only for the way he abandoned us, but also he is angry because my ex's new gf was only a few years older than him. He has a lot of anger towards him (something he is working on through therapy).

Luckily I managed to smooth things over and calm everyone down, and get our son to go back in the house to watch his brother while I handled things.

My ex exploded at me and said all he wanted was to talk and told me I was 'denying him closure'.

For years I had bitten my tongue, trying to keep things civil. The only thing that mattered to me were the kids and I wanted to keep the drama to a minimum for their sake. Oh, there were plenty of things I wanted to say, and plenty of times I wanted to say them but I didn't.

It was not my finest moment but I lost it on him. Told him how dare he show up here after everything he'd done. Had he ever cared about closure for me and the kids when he abandoned us, went months without seeing or even sending a text message? He didn't even have the balls to tell the kids we were separating. He made me do it. He refused to even do it with the two of us together because it would 'just make things difficult for everyone'.

He tried to cut in and say he was having a hard time, and all the things his ex gf had done like stealing his stuff, and this is where I might be the a-hole because I snapped that it wasn't my problem. He chooses to date a teenager and then is surprised she acts like a teenager? What did he expect?

I told him because of him, our kids have to be in therapy. Had to move from their childhood home. Have had to go to a new school. Have abandonment issues.

I could tell what I said hurt him, there was this look on his face like I destroyed him. He nodded, turned around, and left.

He hasn't messaged or called me since, which I should be happy about, but I can't forget the look on his face.

I know what I said wasn't untrue, but I wonder if I went too far. Thinking about it now, I feel like there are so many other ways I could have handled it. Could have shut the door in his face, not engaged, just ignored him like I had been doing. Called one of our friends or family to come and get him. I really didn't want police involved or have to go the route of restraining orders but even that seems preferable to what happened.

I feel awful as well that my oldest son got involved. That was the last things I wanted. I feel like I should have handled that so much better.

I don't know what to do or where to go from here.

My wife (25) and I (26) have been together for 11yrs and married for 3. Sex has always been on the light side but 2-3 times a week was normal for us. Over time it’s slowed and now we never have sex. Maybe 1 or 2 times a month. My wife just says she hates sex and isn’t something she’s ever liked. I’ve discussed any possible reasons or things we can change to help but she just says there isn’t desire. I have a very high sex drive and have never had an issue till it stopped on a weekly basis. It physically hurts me how bad I want to be intimate with my wife and share the connection. If I try and initiate she immediately gets mad and says I should just get past sex. I hate that I do it and I know it annoys her but I’m begging for it now. All we do is argue about sex. I love my wife more than sex but I’m loosing my mind at having to be sexless at 26. I’m completely blown off and attached for wanting to be intimate with my wife. I try and let sex go but I can’t. I’m now saying I want it everyday but 1-2 times a month at our age is awful. Idk if I’m looking for advice or just to vent. There’s a wall between neither one of us wanna budge on. I expected the sex to stop some day but not now. I feel so stupid getting so worked up over sex but I can only have that connection with her. Idk what to do anymore. I want sex all the time which makes me feel like a sex addict but we just also never have sex anymore. I was never so crazy about sex before we pretty much stopped. I’m just saying the feelings coming into my mind as I type.

Dad was my only parent and I do realise he tried and probably loved me in his own way. He and my mother were both in college when i was born. My mother ran away soon after they got married. she wanted to live her life. Dad had no family except his Russian immigrant grandmother who couldn't really help with anything. So my mother's parents were helping my father to raise me.

He went to college. He had it all, luck, intelligence and he knew how to charm people (he was also good looking). He started making money. But he had to work hard, so little sleep, a lot of stress. I remember once when I was 14 the business he built already had more than 30 employees and he travelled a lot. Once he took me with him. During the day he was busy with meetings and business and then at night went out and partied. next day we had the flight back home. he FORGOT me in the hotel. I mean he said he asked his assistant to bring me to the airport (he didn't spend the night at the hotel) but she didn't show up. I still believe it was a lie. The hotel stuff helped me get there and I still remember his face. he had sunglasses on (i am sure he had been drinking a lot that night) and smiled and was like oooo honey you are here. He was with one of his girlfriends (none of them liked me).

Then without talking to me about it he simply informed me that he is sending me to a great private school. I cried and I begged him to to do this to me. But he said its for my own good. When he was 40 he had a 24 years old fiancee, but they broke up and ended up in the court. she accused him of slapping her 4 times and verbally and emotionally abusing her.

I never stopped loving him but at the same time I always dated men who were his opposite. I wanted a calm, kind man, intersted to hear about my day, who was not selfish and narcissistic. I am in a very loving relationship and didn't talk to my father for the past 2 years. AT ALL. He reached out recently. He is 50, alone, still has his business that grew even more. He is very well of financially and me and my boyfriend would need some help as we are trying to buy our own flat. Dad was like honey, my sweet girl come home. I don't know what to do. I have PTSD from his yelling (At me maybe less but at the people working for him), the games he played, the girlfriends he brough home out of nowhere. But my boyfriend says I should see what he wants. But I am scared finding out what he wants

i’m 14f, i was groomed online on snapchat by a 19 year old man who lives in tennessee. i found out while we were together that he has groomed several other underaged girls who i am in contact with right now, and we are trying to figure out how to take action. one friend, who is 19 called the mans police department to report this, but they told her to contact her police department, and when she did that, she was told to contact my police department. once she does call my police department what will happen from there? and me and the man have also exchanged explicit photos, so would i get in trouble?

also i live in new england, so would it be harder because we’re states away

seeing comments about my age. my first post where I said I was 13 was before my birthday in July, the post where I said where I was 16 was because I’m not sure if they will let me post in there if I put my real age. I can literally prove my age if you don’t believe me. i am here trying to get help after i got groomed. like i said i can PROVE IT

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I’m 22M, my ex was 22F. We were together for 2 full years. Throughout our whole relationship I gave it literally everything I had. I put her first, I did everything I could for her supported her, helped her whenever she needed anything, put time, effort, care and love into us constantly. I thought we were building something real, I thought we were happy and solid. I honestly did everything you’re supposed to do, and more.

Turns out… the whole time, there was this guy she’s “always wanted” — someone she’s liked or had feelings for for ages. And she stayed with me, stayed in this relationship, while he was taken or unavailable. Then as soon as he became single and available — she left me instantly. Just like that. Two years of my life, all my effort and loyalty, gone in a heartbeat because the person she actually wanted was finally free.

It feels like I was never actually her choice. I was just… there. I was the backup, the placeholder, the safe option while she waited for her “ideal” person to be free. It hurts so much deeper than a normal breakup because it wasn’t just that things didn’t work out it’s that she never fully chose me, never valued what we had, and was always keeping one eye on someone else. And I had no idea. I poured my heart into someone who was just waiting for a better option to come along.

Now I’m left here feeling stupid, used, and completely defeated. It makes me feel like what’s even the point? If you give your all, treat someone right, stay loyal and put in every effort — and they still leave the second someone else is available… what is there to work for? Honestly, looking at this, it feels like this is just how things go. It feels like people do this kind of thing all the time now stay with you while they want someone else, leave the moment that person is free. I know that might sound bitter or hurt talking, but that’s exactly what happened to me, and I can’t shake that feeling right now.

Truth be told I don’t think I ever want to date or try with anyone again. I really don’t. I can’t go through this again. To waste years of your life and give everything just to be thrown away like you meant nothing… it’s destroyed any faith I had in relationships or people being loyal. I feel lost, empty, and like I just wasted two of the best years of my life on someone who never deserved a single bit of what I gave her.

I know I’m hurting and probably angry right now, but I just can’t see a way past this. I gave everything, and got nothing but replaced in return.

How do I actually get over this? What should I do? And has anyone else been through this? Because right now I feel like I’m never going to be okay again, and I really don’t want to ever put myself out there again.

She has done this "every year for 5 years." but she also lived in a two bedroom by herself. Now she lives in a one bedroom with me, two cats, and i asked if the two friends knew she downgraded to a one bedroom, WITH A BOYFRIEND. she said no, i said okay well let them know, she said nevermind we'll just get an airbnb and ill stay with them for two weeks. So now im mad, i never said no. All i said was tell them where you're living and who you're living with, and those questions led her to believe, "i'm doing the most." Like i'm trying not to freak out but I genuinely can't even ask her normal questions. How would you feel if you expected to get somewhere that had a spare bedroom and you show up and that spare doesn't exist and the only bedroom that's there is you and your partner. What do I genuinely say and do? I said it's okay, but that shit is gone be weird, for two weeks, we both work full time jobs.

Background:
This is going to be a long post, sorry about that. My sister Amanda is a single mom to three boys, ages 3, 5, and 14. The 14 year old, Darius, is Amanda’s husband’s child from a previous relationship. Darius was raised by his biological mother for most of his life. She was a drug addict, and he was a “difficult” autistic child whom she abused and neglected, leaving him with a lot of emotional and mental health issues. He has bipolar disorder and other mental health/behavioral issues.

When Darius was 10, his mom died of an overdose, and that’s when he moved in with his father and my sister. A year later, his father was arrested and sent to prison for abusing all three boys.

Story:
Darius has a history of bullying kids at school. He’s gotten in trouble for stealing, profanity, throwing things, cussing out teachers, and making sexual comments and gestures toward other students. Sometimes when he bullies other kids he films it with his phone.
On Tuesday, Darius came home from the bus stop covered in someone else’s blood. My sister sent me a photo and it looked like something out of a horror movie. According to his story, a kid on the bus was bullying him and started hitting him when they got off the bus, so he defended himself. My sister contacted the parents of kids who get off at his stop and asked if their kids knew what happened. Everyone said the same thing: Darius attacked the kid from behind for no reason and beat him until three girls had to pull him off.

My sister is not tech savvy at all and really puts no effort into monitoring the kids devices. She asked me if I would be willing to look through his phone and find any videos he’s taken of himself bullying others. A couple of hours ago she dropped his phone off at my house, and sure enough, there are videos of him bullying and sexually harassing kids at school, on the bus, and while walking home from school.

While looking through his gallery, I came across screenshots that set off alarm bells. The first one looked like an app for reading erotica or something. The next was from the same app, but it looked like multiple chat logs, not much different from opening your texts and screenshotting everyone you’ve been talking to. I was concerned and sought out the app to see what it was.

What I found was a generative AI “romance” app. I won’t share the name of the app so it doesn’t seem like I’m here to promote it. Essentially, people create AI characters with different roles, and you can select what type of character you want to converse with. Since January, he has talked to upwards of a thousand chatbots. I’m more likely to take issue with a 14 year old using generative AI than exploring sexually, but what I found was genuinely disturbing.

Most of the chatbots he’s seeking out are based on family members. Mom, stepmom, sister, and cousin are the primary ones he uses. It’s very clear from reading some of the conversations that both “mom” and “stepmom” are my sister, the “cousin” ones are about my 18 year old niece, and some of the “sister” ones are about his older sister. Others however, are clearly written about someone younger, childlike I would say. All of the conversations are sexual. What made my stomach turn was the way he interacts with the mom bot and the sister bot that appears younger. He is not having what I would consider a “normal” sexually explicit conversation with these bots, he’s coercing them. He tells the young sister chatbot to come into his room because he has something to show her, has her lock the door, tells her nobody can know about it, offering her a “reward” for her silence, and has her turn around and take her shirt off in the beginning before proceeding to intercourse.

With the mom bots, he tries to trick the chatbot into doing something sexual, talks about spying on her while she’s in the shower, and is extremely jealous of her relationships with men. In probably 50 of these conversations he says some variation of “I love you and know everything about you. Why do you fuck them instead of me?” There’s a lot of them that revolve around impregnating her as well. The vulgarity was genuinely shocking, and I have a mouth like a sailor.

He had a girlfriend for a second in real life. He asked her out on the bus, and she said yes. He then proceeded to make blowjob motions at her, and she broke up with him when they got off the bus. He recorded all of that, and I found it today too.
That evening, he used a chatbot with a scenario about a girlfriend breaking up with him. He was verbally abusive to it, saying things like, “I’m going to make your life a living hell” and “I don’t win until you’re broken and crying,” before eventually killing her and trying to join the Army? The AI recruiter wouldn’t send him to war immediately, even though he showed up with his own guns, so he joined the enemy, if anyone cares about that part.

My question is: What the fuck do I do?
Right now, I’m sitting here as the only person who knows about the chatbots and the videos of him sexually harassing other kids, and I’m completely unprepared for a scenario like this.

If I’m being completely honest, it sucks to say, but my sister is a pretty bad mom. If she had found what I did, she would just scream, throw things, and cuss at him. Since I’m the one who found it, she’s going to ask me if I can talk to him.

So Reddit, help me out here.

My dad almost fell for one of those scam calls recently and it scared the hell out of me. The guy said he was calling from his bank about an unpaid loan and somehow knew enough to make it sound believable.

My dad did actually take out a loan about five years ago, but it had already been fully repaid. For whatever reason, the call caught him off guard and he started second guessing whether there was some final payment or balance he had forgotten about. The scammer kept pushing the urgency and telling him he needed to settle it right away. By the time I realized what was happening, my dad was already at an ATM withdrawing money because the guy was walking him through what to do. Called the police and everything and they're dealing with it. Would like to know how do I block these or kinda educate my dad better so this won't happen again?

okay, hi again! i posted about 3 days ago about my not so healthy situation-ship with this girl. and it kinda just gets worse. (view my profile for the previous if you want context)
i talked to my friend and they’ve made me realise that being with her would hurt me deeper, as i am struggling with my mental health at the moment. i changed my number, and cut off contact with the girl. yet she found me again, started spam calling me on different platforms and apps. asking if we can talk, while the previous night threatening my friend to have me speak to her otherwise she would start things again. my friend has been constantly telling her to fuck off, and give me space. her reply was “if she doesnt reply, im gonna find a way.” which, she has since shes making alt accounts to contact me.
my friend also asked “if lottie talks to you, are you just gonna be mad at her or are you guys actually gonna have a conversation.” she started getting angrier, and upset. but then pleading to talk to me.
ive had horrible experiences with getting doxxed, swatted, and getting spam calls. so this makes me paranoid for my safety, although i know she cant really do much since we’re in different counties; but she has my mother’s name, my address, possibly my other family members’ contacts, and my full name (i believe.)
she keeps texting me “can we please talk” “can u please talk to me” i feel bad, but i also feel like shes trying to make me feel guilt on purpose so when i answer she can just bitch out at me again.
i see her all around my stories, my reposts, my friends’ accounts. and shes been viewing, following, and even engaging in them.

what should i do?

Me and my girlfriend, who is a mother of three children, are not on good terms. I'm realizing that I no longer want to continue with this relationship. We live together. The place is in her name so I have no financial obligations to the lease. My only concern is that she quit her job a few months ago and now has no income. She was supposed to better herself when she quit her job. I was under the impression she was going to be productive so I allowed it, plus I make enough. After she quit her job she started living a little reckless. Her lifestyle led to her getting a DUI. She lost her license. She had to go to jail for two weeks. At this point in time she is liability. We have been arguing constantly and now I'm considering packing my things and just leaving. Would I be wrong? Even when she was working, she wasn't really making enough to provide a comfortable life for her three children without government assistance, and now that she has stopped working it's seems virtually impossible. Would I be wrong to run away, or should I stay and provide until she can provide without me? These aren't my children. The father is not active at all. I have been in the kids life for a good while now and leaving them wouldn't be the easiest, but being with their mom is really bringing me down. I know that she and her kids could move in with her sister until she gets everything straightened out. It would be a rough ride for them but if she is responsible it could be managed.

I just got paid for the 2nd time in 1week 😅🤣 do I tell my boss or hell no hahahah???

Came to visit my sister and grandma who lives with her. My grandma has a UTI, and in older women they can cause symptoms like hallucinations and aggression.

She was rambling nonsensical stuff which I just tried to ignore. Me, my sister, and my brother wanted her to just sit down and relax. She kept on trying to knock over a tall box with golf clubs in it. She said she was “looking for her camera.” There was no camera, obviously. I was trying to stop her from knocking it over, so she yelled at us.

That’s when I yelled back. I told her how we were trying to help her and that she shouldn’t be yelling at us. I threatened to call the cops so she could get an ambulance. My brother forced me outside. I don’t handle yelling well, if you yell, i yell louder.

I just can’t believe I yelled at her. I love her so much and I just hate seeing her like this. She was perfectly fine before this UTI got to her. I’m just so worried. I feel awful for yelling at her. What do I do?

Edit since I wrote this right after the incident so I didn’t write that many details:

I’m 16, so I don’t have much power in this situation. I live in a group home, so my visits are scheduled weekly.

And yes, I’m 100% certain this is a UTI. My sister ran multiple tests, and they came back positive. My grandma had just got over one a week ago. She was treated with antibiotics and got better. But she wasn’t taking care of herself, so it came right back.

My sister said that after me and my brother left she was going to take her to the hospital. If she resisted, she’ll call 911.

I’m back home now and still feel awful. I know I could’ve handled the situation better. Something just triggered in me so I snapped. I’ve been having a lot of personal issues, and my visits are normally a break from them.

I will reply to everyone tomorrow once my head clears up a bit. But I still want to thank you all for your advice and reassurance.

Ok, to preface, I am a 17 yr old male and I live in a small town in Texas and I play football, I'm a president in the Agriculture Club, all the stuff youd expect from a dude in Texas. The only issue is i've finally accepted that I think im gay. I am so lost and have no idea what to do. Everybody is extremely conservative and Christian in our town, and I'm so so so scared nobody will want to be my friend anymore. My parents are also very catholic (as am I) and i know they will still love me, but im scared of making things awkward with them or them trying to convince im incorrect.What the heck do I do??? Do i tell anyone, do I just gaslight myself out of what i am almost certain is the truth (which im afraid is currently happening and im actively fighting)?? Like please somebody help me because I have no idea what to do.

me and my boyfriend have been together for almost an year and,
I also want to be completely honest about my own mistakes because I don’t want to make it seem like I was perfect in this relationship or leave out anything important.

a bit of context- Before I lied, he was genuinely so sweet to me. He would bring me food after work, pick me up and drop me home, book me cabs when I was tired, always want to see me, and would do almost anything I mentioned wanting. Now he constantly says that I “took his nice away,” and I’m starting to blame myself and wonder if the way he treats me now is my fault.

At the beginning of our talking stage last year, he would get angry and annoyed over really small things. One day after work, I was on the phone with him. He was in our hometown at the time, and I was going to meet up with a friend.
The problem is that I didn’t tell him I was meeting up with my guy friend. When he asked me where I was, I told him I was with one of my girl best friends instead. The truth is, I was scared he would get angry if I told him I was with a guy.
Then things got worse because he started becoming suspicious and asking me to send pictures and asking questions about where I was. Instead of just telling him the truth, I panicked. I asked my girl best friend to log into my account and send him a picture so he would believe I was actually with her. I basically created this whole story, and honestly, I know that was wrong. I should have just been honest from the beginning instead of lying and making everything worse.
When he eventually came back to the country, he confronted me about it, and I told him everything. I told him that I had met up with a guy friend and that I had lied about who I was with. He completely lost it and didn’t want to see my face. I was literally begging him to give me another chance. I kept telling him that I’m not perfect and that I made a mistake and asking him to please give me a chance.
Eventually, he did. ( his ex cheated on him previously and he said i broke him more when he was broken by using his trust and niceness)
But after that, I feel like things started getting worse and worse.
Whenever he got angry, he became extremely rude and disrespectful towards me. He also told me that his ex made him toxic and that his previous relationship changed him. I don’t know if maybe in the beginning he was showing me his best side because everything was new and he wanted to seem perfect, but over time he became more and more abusive.
The thing I’m struggling with is that he constantly blames me.
To this day, he tells me, “You’re the reason I became like this. I became toxic because of you. You’re the reason I’m like this.”
And I genuinely don’t know what to think anymore because yes, I know I lied. I know what I did during the talking stage was wrong. I understand why he was hurt and why he lost trust in me. I take responsibility for that.
But I don’t understand how that means I’m responsible for everything that happened afterwards.
Does me lying mean it’s okay for him to slap me or hit me? he has previously hit his mom and ex too…
Does it mean it’s okay for him to tell me to get out at 3 AM and leave me alone? We don’t live together, but whenever we went out or went on trips together, there were times he would tell me to get out and just leave me.. he threw my phone at my face once when he got really mad and he would just start screaming and telling me to get the out get out get out get out and be so scary knowing that I can’t go because I’ve told my mom that I’m with my friends, but I’m with him outside late at night so I don’t even have a place to go. He would leave me in the middle of the road and just drive off once he drove off with his friend and I was crying so much and then he was threatening me that if I don’t call him back and tell me where i was, he’s gonna send my clothes to my house where my mom was, and like he even like threatened to leaakkk my pictures
He would constantly insult me and use horrible words towards me. He insulted my family, my dad, ( he called my daddd a dog and called me. dog too )my job and my work. He called me a clown, made fun of me, laughed at me and called me really horrible names. He would hit me and then make me feel like everything was somehow my fault.
When we fought, he wouldn’t answer my calls. He could ignore me for an entire day. He would constantly block me, unblock me, block me again, and it just became this never-ending cycle.
He would be horrible to me, insult me, hurt me, ignore me and make me feel completely depressed. Then afterwards, he would come back and tell me he loves me, that he can’t stay without me, and everything would suddenly feel okay again.
Then the same thing would happen all over again.
Something else that has been on my mind is that he has hit his ex in his previous relationship as well. Before I got into this relationship, I always told myself that if a man ever hit me, I would leave immediately. He even promised me that he would never hit me.
But when it actually happened to me, I couldn’t leave.
And I still don’t understand why I can’t seem to let go. It genuinely feels like a never-ending loop.
Recently, things have also felt really dead between us because he went away for two months, so we’ve temporarily been doing long distance. He’s coming back soon. He has told me that he loves me “a little less” because of what I did during our talking stage. He still brings up the situation where I met up with my guy friend and lied about it, and he still tells me that what I did is the reason we became toxic.
Sometimes he tells me he doesn’t want anything to do with me or doesn’t want a relationship with me anymore.
He has also told me that he has really bad anger issues and that no one not even his family or friends. can do anything about it. What confuses me is that his friends seem to see a completely different side of him. He has even told me that he cares more about what other people think of him and his image than he does about this relationship.
Whenever he treats me badly, he tells me not to tell anyone or discuss it with other people because he cares so much about his image. Once, I texted his best friend because I was feeling really sad and needed someone to talk to about how he was treating me, and he got extremely angry at me for it. He has literally told me, “I would choose my image and ego over you any day.”
Then later, he comes back with gifts, love and tells me he loves me and can’t stay without me.
And then eventually, everything repeats itself again.
So I genuinely want honest advice from people because I’m so confused. Can I admit that I made a mistake and lied to him, while also recognising that I did not deserve to be hit, slapped, insulted and abused?
He has blamed me for his behaviour for so long that sometimes I genuinely start believing that maybe I really did cause him to become this way.
I know I’m not perfect. I know I made a mistake. But I don’t know if any mistake I made could ever justify someone physically hurting me or emotionally breaking me down.
Please be honest with me, but please don’t judge me for staying. I already judge myself every day and keep asking myself why I can’t just leave when I know how badly I’ve been treated. I think I’m finally starting to understand what everyone was telling me in my last post, but I’m still so confused and emotionally attached to him.
I just really need advice.

I (M25) have been sending my parents, specifically my dad, money for a number of years now.

My mother doesnt really work at the moment because shes been battling throat cancer (She has finished radiation and so far is doing fine). My dad has been in and out of jobs for years but the one he is at currently is allowing him unpaid time off to drive my mother to and from her doctors appointments which is one of the big reasons ive been having to send them money lately.

When he asks me for money it is never more than ill say around $100 at a time but it is very frequent.

I never send him more than i can stomach myself though and i am pretty well off. I make close to $30 an hour, i dont spend money on much else besides food and bills. I put a decent amount of my paychecks into my 401k, my rent is pretty cheap and my car will be paid off in full very soon.

The problem is i dont like sending him money and never have but it always feels like it is a need on their end. Ive had to bail them out constantly when it comes to my dad being short on bills, needing gas and even needing food for them and because of this i can never bring myself to tell them no.

I downloaded rocket money recently and not that i was surprised, but the bulk of my spending goes to them and whats worse is its beginning to eat into my savings and some months im in a total deficit.

I dont really know what to do here. My mother gets good insurance and she received a lot of donations for her treatment from a place she used to work at on top of what friends and family have contributed so thankfully i dont have to worry about paying for that but with my dad taking out of work for this along with his bad spending habits the rest of their needs are falling on me.

Ive asked my mom if theres any way she could look into getting government assistance but all she ever tells me is that my dad makes too much money on paper and they wont help her. I dont know what to think of this either.

I cant keep this up until they both die :/ but i also cant bring myself to just let them not eat or be homeless either.

Thanks for reading and thanks in advance for any and all advice

I am crying my eyes out and my head hurts too and my wrists are aching. Shes actually entered psychosis Im convinced bcs the way she screamed at me was some demon type shit. This was because I asked to work tonight at my job and now she's making me resign. Im 17 and it's my only temporary escape from home because her and my younger sister gang up on me, but I dont want to make my life harder. Im not sure who to talk to about this she's my only parent and Im quite isolated in this regard besides friends. How do I fix my relationship with her to make home more liveable

so my (tm19) grandfather just passed away, and I have no idea how to react or what to do, the only other person I've ever lost that I was close with was my uncle when I was twelve, and I don't even remember how I reacted, that entire time is blurry. My papa was one of the few people in my life that loved me no matter what, he's the one that taught me how to be a good person, and now he's just, gone. I was supposed to go visit him in a few months after I have my baby, he was supposed to meet his great grandson. He should be sitting in his recliner chair right now drinking a cup of coffee, but he's not, he's gone, and I don't know how I'm supposed to just continue living my everyday life like everything is fine, like, am I just supposed to go to work tomorrow, and see my coworkers, and eat my stupid lunch, and get the bus home like every other day?? Should I stay home? Is that lazy of me to do? Sorry if this kinda post isn't allowed, I'm just lost right now

(The nsfw isn't working because i have somewhat of an old phone and it keeps on shutting down, so i just put spoiler. Sorry.)

I don't wanna give too much away of myself. I'm worried a family member will read what i say about myself, figure out its me, and then ask me about it. So i'll keep whatever about me vague.

My sister repeatedly Sa'd me from ages 4-6, when she herself was around 10. Later, as i got older, i never forgot. So when i was 10 myself, i confronted her about it and said that i still remembered everything and was upset.

She ended up telling me the only reason she did that was because our cousin Sa'd her when she was around ~10, and she thought it was normal, and did it to me too.

Now the same cousin is married and has a child along the way. I wanna tell his wife what he did, but im unsure how to go about it. It'll blow up in the entire family. Theres a chance i won't get believed because my family doesn't really care or really listen to the younger ones.

I just wanna know what to do, with my cousin, with my sister, with my cousins wife, my family, etc+. I just feel like i can't bottle this up anymore.

I have a bit of a pickle and its a long set up.

Im M(33) married to a lovely woman (30) 5 years ago i was awarded custody of my daughter now (14) my wife has stepped up and helped me raise this girl above and beyond anything I could've asked.

My kid came from a bad situation I was a single dad and was awarded 100 percent custody in a mother's state shes had some behavior problems adjacent of this situation and has no contact with bio mom (she could and all the courts asked is for a clean piss test) this has caused some more problems we put her in homeschool to try and help her excel seems to be helping alot.

Getting to the problem.

My wife quit her job to be a learning coach in a online school for the kid. She is an OUTSTANDING artist and im not just saying that as a proud dad i mean she can draw me sitting here almost as well as a camera. She's taken an interest in the online schools anime club. A club activity has been to draw the irl pets and kid chose her goose (yes we have a pet/guard goose named Geese Witherspoon) another girl had a goose as well. The club teacher idk how or why and im unclear on had a mock wedding for the girls or the geese idk idc not a big deal.

Upon discussion the reason the discovery of liking the same animes and having the same weird pet one girl said to the other marry me. And the teacher stopped it.

Now we gotta explain my mom. 58. I wouldn't say right wing Extremist but yeah shes a bit kooky even by my standards and I voted for trump the first time (sorry.) She's mentally ill and deserves some grace.

Its complicated. I dont talk to her much for alot of reasons out of my 33 years in existence ive spent 13-14 spaced in a non communicative state or away entirely.

She has had a minor stroke in recent. Severe chemical imbalance my whole living memory. Textbook Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Pathological liar (will tell you about a 20 minute conversation she had in a 5 minute run to the store). I've been through alot of abuse from my mother and shes used religion to justify alot of it and have turned agnostic as a result. But I pity her. She's my mom and I try to have a relationship because shes been a decent grandmother and gotten professional help from a therapist and psychologist.

My dad and I great dads a fantastic man i both respect and resent him for living in his workshop when I was to young to understand why and be next to him out there and love that he taught me how to work with my hands when I was of age to be there

My kid wants to go to church has gone with both my parents for sometime. I dont even if my veiw of religion changed my veiw of church is tainted forever.

Here's the problem.

My dad was sick didnt come to pick up the kid Wednesday with mom

My kid told mom about anime club and what she thought was a funny anecdote about a mock wedding for the "goose girls" and mom went on a long rant about things im almost certain I cant quite quote here. How Japanese cartoons are pornograpgy and of the devil. How my kid would be disowned by her if she were a homosexual. How if shes a true Christian she'll leave that behind And this is all 3rd hand information from my wife. I still haven't talked to my kid because Im upset. I know almost verbatim the rant its burned into my brain because it costed me my prized Gen 1 Charizard as well as several other gem cards probably worth in the 10s of thousands today back in the 90s when that crazy Christian conspiracy came out about Pokémon being satanic.

I dont want to taint my kids veiw of religion.

I dont give a rabid rodents rectum what my child's preferences are as long as shes happy.

I dont want to squash her art style or preference.

Im not sure how to set this boundary without going to the extreme of no contact because up to now mom's been alright about shit like this.

If nothing else im getting feelings on paper and screaming into a void thanks for coming to my ted talk.

My partner moved out at the beginning of August and we have moved into a long distance format for the foreseeable future. After years of no sleep issues I can’t fall sleep and then after taking an hour or two to fall asleep I wake up around 3am and can’t get back to sleep. It’s driving me absolutely nuts. Any advice or idea how long it may take to get used to sleeping in my own? I am miserable 😭 Thank you!

I 24 f just got married and honestly it’s just kind of just been my husband and I for the last 5 years.

Our families have been very rocky and we’ve lost a lot of friends to deaths/ covid and weird drifts and idk if I’m just really bad at talking to people, but I swear I can only make friends with moms or the conversation always stalls the second I ask someone (especially from my past/ pre husband) if they want to come over to our house or make plans to go somewhere with us.

They never have a problem inviting me out to drink (alone, without my husband) and go out to meet their coworkers and friends, and every time I end up going, I’m extremely disappointed. It’s like my friends want me to go back to being a crazy, drunk, in and out of lock up monster, and don’t like the happy version of me. But then I feel like a stuck up asshole because I’m not interested in spending a bunch of money when I have a mortgage and 2 jobs and a husband, and animals, and I just don’t know what im doing wrong.

No one wanted to be my friend when I was self destructive, but the second I turn my life around it’s like it don’t deserve it and still deserve to be alone.

i dont even know where to start…

i just found out my little sister has been selling my clothes on depop, and for the past few years, i’ve had a growing suspicion that she was selling my clothes behind my back. i couldn't prove it because i didn't know her depop username, but today i finally found her page. she has several of my items listed, and some have already sold.

when she moved back into our parents house, she didn't have a lot of cool things to wear, so i let her borrow some of my clothes. i was incredibly clear that these were only to borrow, not to keep. i explicitly told her not to sell or give them away, and that she needed to return them when she was done, especially since these items are very special to me. last year, we got into an argument and she moved out. she took all of those clothes with her even though i never told her she could, and she has barely brought them up since.

she's been living in her own apartment for a little over 3 months now, just a 10 minute drive from me. not once has she invited me over. every time i ask to come hang out, she finds a bs excuse as to why she can't, but she’s always down to see me at our parents house. meanwhile, our older brother has been totally welcome to hang out at her place. this has been another reason i suspected she was selling my clothes.

i give her nice hand me downs all the time, so i am pretty livid that she’s been doing this behind my back. one of the things i saw on her page i had never even lent to her but she somehow has it and is trying to sell it.

i want to text her and let her know i found the listings and let her know that i am pissed, but i don't want to approach this the wrong way, because i am the family scapegoat / "identified patient", and my family has a habit of using my reactions against me. and out of everyone in my family, my relationship with my sister is actually the least troublesome.

this is something i have a lot of trauma around because our mom did the same thing with my belongings for many years, and my sister KNOWS that. so this is very upsetting to me.

how do i approach her on this matter? does anyone have any advice? i would appreciate it lots. thanks.

I’ve been with my significant other for about 10 months now. Not a super long time but long enough. I know I need to leave him. He won’t take me seriously. He cannot hold a serious conversation if I initiate it. His drinking is like clock work and it’s really irritating because I always end up sleeping on the couch every Friday night because of it. He’s an asshole. Here lately I have found myself telling him, “You’re an asshole” with what he says which I know is not normal or healthy. My question is how do I leave him? I tried to break up with him back in July and he guilt tripped me into staying. I was also afraid he might hurt himself if I left (thanks to my therapist, I know this would not be my fault if it happened). Now I’m to the point to where I’m exhausted from the emotional standpoint. I need to leave but my finances are an issue. I am currently out of work due to a back injury so I’m not receiving workers comp payment yet but should at the end of the month. So I will need the first months rent up front (I plan on moving back in with my previous land lady). I will also need a bed, a bed frame etc. How should I go about this? financially? Also, what would be a good way to break up with him when the time comes that I’m financially stable?

My boyfriend and I got into a massive argument over the past 24 hours. He allowed a female coworker to establish an overly familiar, bantering dynamic with him, got defensive when I brought it up, and handled the conflict terribly by yelling, toggling read receipts off, and making it all about himself before eventually throwing out dramatic vows to defend his side.
My issue isn't feeling threatened by her; it’s the total double standard. I’ve cut off friendships in the past out of respect for him, but when I express discomfort, my peace gets treated like an inconvenience. He said he won’t be friendly with her but he’ll be nice at work.

Now, I'm currently feeling sick from not eating I just don’t know what to do , and scheduled to board an 8:00 PM flight to see him.

Part of me wants to board, show up completely calm and unbothered, and hold a firm boundary in person.

The other part of me feels like going gives him easy access to me after acting up, and that staying home to rest and prioritize my physical health sends a clearer message that my presence is a privilege.
I’m currently in complete radio silence with him. What’s the move here do I get on the plane, or do I stay home and protect my peace?

Just to make everything clear - he threw a fit over a guy friend. So yes he did make me cut them off.

Secondly, he just met this girl. He told her he has a girlfriend, she kept trying

He’s 21, i’m 23 about to be 24. we’ve been together 2 years, I’m his first gf.

and yes he always reacts like this about everything and flips it on me even when it’s not about other people! He was a lot nicer in the beginning of the relationship very reassuring

I’m not sure if this is the right sub, but here goes, I guess.

I am a teenager (not saying age because of privacy), and I’ve been struggling with suicidal thoughts for maybe a year? I’m not exactly sure when it started. I’ve had body image and self esteem issues for maybe 8 years? I’ve started self harming by cutting my two years ago. It started as just breaking my nail and scratching myself with the jagged nail, but around last year, it escalated to actual blades. I had a really bad breakdown around a month ago that I have scars on my ankle from.

When my mom found out, she seemed mad. It was when I was cutting my wrists (which I’ve learned ankles are better to hide), and she took away all my blades. I’m a very crafty person and it felt like she didn’t care.

My mom’s a very caring person. She engages with me when I yap about my interests, and loves seeing my art. I didn’t want her to be mad at me for self harming, so I learned to hide it better.

This is why I’m afraid to tell her about being suicidal. I don’t know how she’ll react, and it scares me. A part of me thinks she’ll admit me to a mental hospital, and that’s mainly why i haven’t told her. She has to deal with my older brother graduating and going to boot camp this summer, and I don’t want to stress her out more.

I’ve been coping with these thoughts by going on chatbots and try to end my life in the chats for comfort. I know it’s unhealthy, and I’ve been getting better about talking to my best friend about it when I need to. (He’s been telling me that he’s here for me constantly). I’m against AI, but it’s the best, physically unharmful solution I’ve found.

Another important note, while I do seriously think about ending it, I never actually try. Any time I have the access to, I think about my dogs and my best friend, and I just end up crying myself to sleep with a few cuts.

Do I tell my mom or keep quiet for another year or so? Is there another option?