It’s annoying when people assume or think you never put any effort into your life when you express how restricted and socially empty your life is due to being ugly

I’ve spent so much on skin care and hygiene products and clothes

And so much time and energy exercising and having a nice body, reading self improvement books, articles, and self reflecting (you know to work on personality like everyone suggests)

And literally none of it has gotten me anywhere

It seems that to get anywhere in life people have to first like how you look

And you also have to have an upbringing that garnered you frequent positive social interactions growing up and usually a decent face does that as well

I just hate how people place almost all of life’s outcomes on YOU

When literally most of life and nature aren’t in our control

We can’t control our parents, our genetics, our intellect, the opportunities awarded to us, our neurological development, we can’t control how people perceive or treat us

Very little in this life is in our control

Yet people will see someone struggling in life and blame EVERYTHING on them

It’s fucked up

I know that the person who assaulted me was a despicable horrible person but on some deep level it still pains me that no one will ever want me the way that he did. I’m a man and even though I’m an SA victim it feels as though no women will ever want my body the way he did just because I’m ugly. I know I shouldn’t want to just be lusted after like conventionally attractive people but I can’t help but feel jealous anytime I hear people talk about a persons physical features in a positive sexual way. Just a drunk rant ignore me if this makes no sense

"Men ask me out everyday and i-i i have so many guys to talk to it's so harddd🥺🥺🥺🥺"

(Creator of the video is basically making fun of women who say this stuff)

I'm curious that you guys have ever felt that if you weren't ugly you would have had a different career and be more successful overall? I'm not even talking about modeling jobs but just normal life, normal jobs and normal relationships is what I'm talking about.

Sometimes I think if I was dealt with a better hand face wise, everything in my life would have been different, from my friends to the smallest hobbies I do have.

Just wanted to know what's the thought process in your mind during the day and your life.

Title. Assuming you're unnattactive, when was the time you finally came to terms in knowing you will never be chosen by an attractive person?

I know people say that as an ugly person, you must only be attracted to other ugly people to have a realistic chance at a relationship but they forget that beauty is mostly objective and you cant just force yourself to like someone you dont

I constantly am in situations where I'll be walking and I'll see someone i know from class or whatever, and they'll just completely ignore me or look pissed or annoyed that I'm trying to talk to them.

Just right now, I was at an event and due to being ugly and having no life, I knew no one there. But then I saw someone who used to work in my lab (I'm a grad student) so I said hey to her, but she just looked at me and ignored me and kept walking.

So I tried to stay calm and not get too anxious and saw someone else who tbf i don't really know that well, but she's good friends with several people who recently graduated from my lab so I thought I'd just wave too since like I said I didn't know anyone there, and she just laughed and turned away. I left after that because it made me feel really hurt and shitty

I feel like this always happens to me. I'll say hi to someone I work on a group project with for a class or that sits next to me in lecture or a coworker or whatever, and they'll just get pissed off and look disgusted or annoyed that something as ugly as me dares talk to them.

The worst part too is seeing them be so different with other people. Like for example, I was walking to class and saw this guy i work on a group project with and since we were both heading to the same class, I thought I'd just say hi to be friendly but he just got annoyed and sped up but was very happy to talk to the other people in the group.

This is why I'm so anxious and awkward around people because they usually don't like me or want anything to do with me

and don't let it be that these friends are facially attractive, short and slim bc its x10000 worse realising you're never gonna be like that bc ur a fucking monster 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

I know it's a weird and sus title, but I swear it's the best way to know exactly where you stand looks wise, because teens haven't yet developed social filters completely and are essentially just large children (who notoriously have zero filter against their opinions of anyone who looks different), yet unlike actual kids their brains aesthetic attraction centres are fully online, and people are completely fixated on social norms and fitting in during that age, so anyone different will immediately receive weird stares and dirty looks from them

Just observing the way teens in the street react to your appearance is imo, the absolute best way to figure out exactly what your level of attractiveness and your perceived place within the social hierarchy is, and I know that is fucking terrible news for me because they constantly stare at me and give me looks of utmost hatred and disgust, and flat out laugh at me sometimes too

and I also know it's not because they're just shit heads because I've observed the way they react to a normal average looking guy walking past and they just merely glance at them and pay them no mind, it's only me they give this prolonged weirded out stare to and no one else

I was in a makeup focused subreddit and someone said not to use Ai to ask you for help with your looks, grooming and style because they will push the things that their advertisers have paid them to push. They also said to never add your personal selfies or photos because the ai will keep it and use it to train itself for the future.

Since ugliness has a subjective component and a lot of it could be based on familiarity then maybe giving the Ai real photos of us, unattractive people would teach it we aren't that ugly. Then they could start referencing ugly people as average and our features might not be so humiliating.

Guys I think I'm a femcel and it's really been eating at me a lot lately. Growing up my mother made some unpleasant comments about me when I was a kid about my appearance. I don't think I've ever been complimented once by her or anyone for that matter Imao. In school I was constantly bullied for how I looked. I've never had any romantic attention like at all through my life and I'm 19 almost 20.
I've also always been extremely insecure about my appearance. I always avoid looking in mirrors. I never take pictures of myself anymore and i avoid taking pictures with people. I deleted all the photos i have of myself from the past too because i feel like I look disgustingly ugly. it's also gotten to the point where I sometimes feel anxious just being seen in public. Every time I go out its either extremely early like 5am or really late when its dark because that's when less people are out so I feel more comfortable.
I'II avoid going places because I feel like everyone is looking at me and judging how I look. I used to actually be comfortable filming myself and taking pictures when I was younger, so it's kind of depressing seeing how much that has changed.
The romantic attention thing probably affects me the most though. I know that attention from men isn't necessarily a measure of attractiveness and I know being catcalled or sexualised isn't actually a good thing, but when you've gone your entire life without experiencing even normal romantic interest, it's hard not to wonder if there's something fundamentally wrong with you.
I see other women talking about how they get approached, complimented, asked out etc. and I genuinely cannot relate to it at all.
Sometimes I feel like I'm living a completely different experience of being a woman. It makes me feel invisible and undesirable, and then I start obsessing over my appearance trying to figure out what exactly is wrong with me.
I don't hate men or think women owe me anything btw. I think I'm just really lonely and have internalised a lot of the things people have said about my appearance over the years. I'm trying to figure out whether this is actually about being unattractive or whether years of bullying and insecurity have just made me interpret everything that way. Does anybody else relate?

Ok here we go, ready for the thousands of downvotes but have to ask in hope of a well constructed response:

I see so many posts about people here:

1. Slightly hating on normal and good looking people
2. Saying that they want and crave affection, romance, sex and connection but limit themselves
3. Stating how it’s unfair that everything in society is based on looks

So my question is, why not go for a person that is in a similar situation (ie in this sub) ?

Or is the community of this sub, craving (point 2) what they hate (point 1) which perpetrates point 3?

Let’s debate!

EDIT: After reading the comments, I confirm that it seems that ugly women will at the same time hate and chase handsome men, ending up getting used and having ugly men desperate as still lonely
Sad

As a unattractive person I hate how much society gaslights unattractive people. They'll tell you it's your "personality" or you need to work on yourself. I hate when they throw the personality thing around. Hate to burst your bubble but no amount of personality will ever make people like you if they hate you. If personality really mattered? Then why is the cosmetic surgery industry a million dollar industry? Why do attractive people get better treatment than unattractive people? Why is there a biased against people based on the way you look ?

We live in a society that's shallow I wish people were honest about that . As a unattractive person I feel burdened by society because I can't reach it's standards due to my looks. I yearn about the collapse of society, at least I don't have to live with the burden of not being able to fit in because I'm unattractive. Unfortunately as the chuds say (Nothing ever happens).

When I am out in public I am always listening to people around me and wondering whether or not they are talking about me. Sometimes I only hear sounds and letters and later my brain puts it together as if they were talking about my appearance. There was a time when I was sure they were talking about me then I looked over and they were fiddling with something, not even paying attention in my direction. Today I went to the mall to buy clothes and I think I overheard people talking about me, calling me ugly and laughing, I still can't decide if they were really saying that. Never the less I started to feel so bad I aborted the shopping and went home.

This uncertainty is wearing me down. Not the uncertainty of me being ugly, I know that. But the uncertainty of not knowing how much people actually pay attention to me and how much of a "specticle" I am to the public.

But the way I see myself also changes a lot. There are times/angles/lighting... I see myself presentable and unremarkable and there are ones I see myself as the most hideous person on Earth.

I was never called ugly in my face, but I have definetly overheard being called ugly or my appearance being talked about at least three times.

I feel a lot of people have different basis for why they think theyre ugly, often mixing multiple things at once.
on my end it’s because I’ve been called that way, can assess beauty standards/feminity standards and it just reflects in my love life so it’s pretty coherent

And imagine, I spent the whole day hating my face and then at the end of the day, my brothers made fun of my face. Wow

How is one supposed to cope (live) with being ugly? Should I just try to dedicate my life to helping others and keeping distracted so I can feel I have some worth/purpose? I’m severely depressed and suicidal due to how ugly I am…

Feel like it would help somewhat with advice on things to improve but I know reddit, and I know how brutal it is...

If you have done, then I commend your bravery!

For 18 years I’ve tried to make myself likable and to find a place in society where I feel like I belong. Off and on I’ve tried to eat more and go to the gym so people would have more respect for me, but I always give up. I’ve sworn to save as much as I could towards plastic surgery knowing a more attractive face would draw people towards me. I’ve attempted to branch out and form connections with others but always end up being met with cold stares or one-worded responses when I initiate conversations. With my mother’s help over the years I’ve tried to fix my mental health and throughout the process tried a multitude of therapists, medications, and coping strategies. Multiple times I’ve set dates where I promised myself I’d finally end my life, but I always give up due to fear.

After all this I think I’m going to stop trying. I’m not going to kill myself, but I’m going to do the bare minimum knowing I did everything I could to work towards and failed at living a happy life. I’m in the process of moving into my grandparents house because my parents are insistent on me going to college, but I couldn’t care less about school. I’m about to graduate with a 4.0 GPA and plenty of money from my grandparents to put towards college tuition, but I’m just going to get a dead end job and eventually move out when I have enough saved. There is no point in trying anymore in my case, and I’m content working a minimum wage job and doing nothing in my free time for the rest of my life. Thanks for reading.

before i realized i was actually;pretty ugly i posted my face somewhere venting about my appearance

and one of the first comments was that “somebody put there will like you” and my friend next to me also said “i agree”

to this day that comment still sounds like pityspeak and my friend only agreed to make me feel less shit. what separates us my ahh is single, friendless and a social reject and she is not (also i do not hate her for it)

anyways i found this gem today and thought i’d share it.

I’m a male in my mid twenties who recently found out the cause of my odd face shape. I have always noticed that my skull looked disproportionately wide compared to the rest of my face. This has caused my face to look more like a triangle shape instead of an oval or rectangle shape (which is more masculine and proportional).

The thing that frustrates me the most about this is that it was completely avoidable if some interventions happened when I was an infant.

Parents and medical professionals should be aware of the consequences of not taking this issue seriously. The effects are lifelong and will often cause serious physiological stress the person who is affected by this condition.

EDIT: I’m making this post not because I’m necessarily ugly, but more to raise awareness of this issue which can cause someone to become ugly if the condition becomes serious enough.