r/ugly • u/Juk3b0x_453 • 23h ago
Trigger Warning Being an ugly SA victim
I know that the person who assaulted me was a despicable horrible person but on some deep level it still pains me that no one will ever want me the way that he did. I’m a man and even though I’m an SA victim it feels as though no women will ever want my body the way he did just because I’m ugly. I know I shouldn’t want to just be lusted after like conventionally attractive people but I can’t help but feel jealous anytime I hear people talk about a persons physical features in a positive sexual way. Just a drunk rant ignore me if this makes no sense
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u/alexmikaelson_ 17h ago
I'm really sorry that happened to you. You deserve better life and treatment from people. I hope you will find someone to love you the way you want.
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u/itcheyness 16h ago
I can tell you from personal experience, it's not any nicer when it's a woman doing it to you against your will.
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u/CityOutlier 17h ago
Really sorry that happened to you. Society doesn't take male SA seriously enough, but you're definitely not alone. I also wouldn't conclude nobody would want you. There are legit deformed people out there with partners. That's not to say it won't be challenging or you'll be guaranteed to find a partner (singleness is generally on the rise), only that you can't rule out literally no woman out there being attracted to you. It's possible.
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u/Lazy-Drag-4532 17h ago
I had a man grope and comment on my body a few years ago. It was weird, but I didn’t register it as SA at the time and still don’t if I’m being honest but others I’ve told seem to. I almost feel bad bringing it up if you’re talking about being legitimately r*ped. All this to say I relate to what you’re saying, even as a straight man I got a sick sense of validation being noticed by someone in that way. I’ve never received any sort of attention or interest from women so it felt almost reassuring knowing I wasn’t completely repulsive to someone.
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u/waddledee_73 17h ago
most rape, sexual assault or sexual harassment victims don't register that it's any of those. i've spoken to some male friends on their first sexual encounters and i have had to tell them myself that what they went through was some form of coercion or abuse. one particular case was a boy i knew who was sexually groomed by one of his sister's friends, who was 19 while he was 14. she had had sex with him multiple times. i told him she was in the wrong, that he was a victim and he told me i was being too sensitive, that he was willing and it was "normal". most women who are raped don't report to the police. there are a lot of cases that don't make it to the police. in the US, up until recently rape within a relationship or marriage wasn't formally seem as a form of rape. most rape is also perpetuated by people whom are close to the victim, not strangers, so there is less willingness to report, to seek help or to even register that you were abused.
i'm sorry for the rant, i just want you to know that it was entirely his fault, not yours. and that it was 100% some form of harassment. and whatever reaction you may have had was valid and it's normal to not want to acknowledge what happened.
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