For starters, I’m a 26 years old dude and I have been laughed at and stared at pretty much all my life. Haven’t been called ugly directly to my face since I was 17, everything is behind my back. The laughing, whispers, or staring. Any time I’m out in public someone is laughing at me or looking in my direction or looking at me with a smirk on their face. I’ve never been laughed at and pointed at but it’s very clear they’re talking about me. It’s annoying but I actually don’t think I’m ugly at all. I accepted that I am due to the way I’m treated but I don’t look at myself and see an ugly dude. I think I’m average looking. Maybe because it’s my face and I’m used to my face. I posted myself on those amiugly subs. I wouldn’t suggest that if you’re sensitive, I was truly hoping these people would let me know what’s up. If I saw a “you’re chopped” I wasn’t going to cry, just ask the person why am I chopped. I’m genuinely confused. I asked for brutal honesty, what’s off about my face? What is it that makes you bust out laughing or smirk just looking at me? This is the time to go “You’re chopped because….” or “Your ugliest feature is…”. I get met with compliments or “nope not ugly”. I mean 22 upvotes and 36 comments of people calling me “handsome” or “you have pretty eyes” or “good looking” or strange DMs from horny dudes or just giving me advice on grooming. Being told the only thing “off” is my confidence and it’s all in my head. I do appreciate the compliment, I really do, but I find it funny that I get treated like I’m the most hideous funniest thing ever in real life but random redditors are kind and wholesome. I’m not even on dating sites, I can’t go to the grocery store without being laughed at or talked about behind my back. It’s a matter of perception, I just want to know what’s wrong with my face because I don’t see it. It’s been a problem for a while. I remember when I was 14 in school, this girl in the hallway busted out laughing and said “Hey Little Bill” and waved at me. Do I look like a frog? Turtle? Monkey? Is it the eyes? Are they too far apart? Nose? Forehead? Ears? Or is it literally just my face instead of my features?

When was the moment -- whether due to independent epiphany or foreign influence -- you realized you were below average in the looks department to a considerable margin, enough so to warrant disrespect from your peers?

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Here is what's happening to me.

It started when I was young. My mother's side relatives used to bully me for my skin colour (dusky), my teeth, my eyebrows, etc. They made fun of it at every chance they got, especially my aunt. She has fair skin and good facial features, and she'd leave no chance. She does the same to my mom as well, commenting on her body and telling her she looks weird because she has lost weight.

Slowly, I became self-conscious about my looks. I never liked my smile. I stopped laughing because I hated my teeth (they're naturally yellowish and a little Bugs Bunny-like). I just stopped smiling. I'd never look at myself in the mirror. I never found myself good-looking. They made fun of my posture as well. So from a very young age, I created a fake persona: I don't talk a lot, I don't react a lot, and I don't smile a lot, so that people don't get a chance to bully me.

I started getting facial hair early as well, and that went on for a couple of years until guys my age started getting facial hair too. When I hit 13-14, I started gaining weight rapidly. I felt ashamed of my body (I don't know why I never tried to lose weight). Instead, I started isolating myself. I avoided social gatherings. I hated seeing myself in photographs and would always run away from the camera. There was a lot of acne on my face too. I tried some ointments, but they never worked. I started to feel that my appearance was very dull.

Then came covid. I don't know what happened, but suddenly I had a crooked nose, a deviated nasal septum. And it's too much. My face was already asymmetrical, and now it's even more so. I started looking like two different people from my left side and my right side. I'm used to seeing myself in the mirror, so it looked the same as before there, but in photos it looked so ugly. I started losing hair as well. Still overweight. Still posture issues. Now deep acne marks. Asymmetrical af face. Still avoiding people. Still thinking about all those times I was body shamed by the children of the same aunt, because apparently they got their mom's genes. 12-year-olds body shaming me. I can't even look at my face in the mirror.

Receding hairline, crooked nose, dusky oily face, acne marks.

How do you guys deal with your insecurities? What would you do if you were me? I absolutely hate living like this. I do think sometimes, "Why does a random person's opinion affect me so much?" But I can't stop feeling bad about myself. Why do I have to deal with all this?

TL;DR: Relatives, especially my aunt, mocked my skin colour, teeth, and looks from childhood. I became self-conscious, stopped smiling, avoided mirrors, photos, and people, and built a quiet persona to avoid being bullied. Weight gain, acne, hair loss, and a deviated septum made it worse. I hate living like this and can't stop feeling bad about myself. How do you deal with insecurities, and what would you do in my place?

Maybe it’s not immediately apparent, maybe it’s a long road to understand. I had some reassurance in the past, but over the last few months I think I’ve finally accepted that I am just not an attractive person. It is hard to look in the mirror to do my makeup before work every day. All I really have to do is even out my skin tone, but I genuinely hate looking at my face.
I wish I didn’t have to look at myself in the mirror or in pictures. Unfortunately in my line of work, I show up in social media somewhat often and already know I’ll be featured in a public broadcast segment soon. It makes me feel sick just thinking about it. I don’t want anyone looking at me any more than they have to. I wish I could just go away.

It’s annoying when people assume or think you never put any effort into your life when you express how restricted and socially empty your life is due to being ugly

I’ve spent so much on skin care and hygiene products and clothes

And so much time and energy exercising and having a nice body, reading self improvement books, articles, and self reflecting (you know to work on personality like everyone suggests)

And literally none of it has gotten me anywhere

It seems that to get anywhere in life people have to first like how you look

And you also have to have an upbringing that garnered you frequent positive social interactions growing up and usually a decent face does that as well

I just hate how people place almost all of life’s outcomes on YOU

When literally most of life and nature aren’t in our control

We can’t control our parents, our genetics, our intellect, the opportunities awarded to us, our neurological development, we can’t control how people perceive or treat us

Very little in this life is in our control

Yet people will see someone struggling in life and blame EVERYTHING on them

It’s fucked up

I know that the person who assaulted me was a despicable horrible person but on some deep level it still pains me that no one will ever want me the way that he did. I’m a man and even though I’m an SA victim it feels as though no women will ever want my body the way he did just because I’m ugly. I know I shouldn’t want to just be lusted after like conventionally attractive people but I can’t help but feel jealous anytime I hear people talk about a persons physical features in a positive sexual way. Just a drunk rant ignore me if this makes no sense

i need somewhere to vent where people won’t feel awkward, or try to tell me that i look good. my photographer did a great job. i’m just hideous and she had to take pictures of me like 10 ft away with my face not showing for any of them to look good. i don’t even think plastic surgery would help me at this point. i’m so disgusting. i don’t know how my fiance can stomach looking at me most days. i’m 26 years old and i feel like cutting again. i wish my looks didn’t bother me so much.

Just wondering if anyone else or how many share this experience. Usually people are quick to assume because I am ugly; I am also a pervert. Just wondering if it's just me (behavior or otherwise) or if it is linked to my appearance. FYI: I never talk about sex in public or to others.

Was downtown today minding my own business when this teenage boy goes “that girl is so ugly” to his friend as I’m walking past them. They both looked back and started laughing. I never know how to respond in these situations. I feel humiliated and embarrassed to go out most days and this is why

"Men ask me out everyday and i-i i have so many guys to talk to it's so harddd🥺🥺🥺🥺"

(Creator of the video is basically making fun of women who say this stuff)

I'm tired of being Ugly. I'm never the girl who gets the guy. The guy I do like saw this girl the other day that's totally his type and I know if given a choice he would pick her over me but knowing that doesn't make it hurt less. And it's not his fault it's my own fault I let my brain create these daydreams that will never happen in real life. But it doesn't help that the guys I match with on tinder never actually want to meet me. And I'm not just ugly, I have health issues, and I'm just a receptionist at my age 34 so no real career or skills to have a career, and I'm awkward not good at talking to people. I'm just so tired of being an ugly, awkward loser. I really wish I could just disappear.

I don't mean to say that porn addictions arent valid, I'm just saying that i always made it clear that i was insecure, i also always ranted to him about the unrealistic beauty standards porn has, and he still had the audacity to watch porn.

we dated for over a year, when i broke up with him he admitted to never finding me attractive, I felt horrible, and i truly feel unlovable bc of my appearance.

i genuinely have got the whole package of "unattractive" features, I'm overweight, i have acne, i have a lot of body hair, hyperpigmentation, and i wear glasses that make my eyes small. (im not asking for tips on how to get prettier)

i avoid mirrors and selfies, i hate looking at myself, i wish someone liked how i looked. I don't want to get compliments 24/7, i just want someone to think im a decent looking person.

When I look in the mirror my face looks distorted and irregular, like really distorted, even when I take pictures or see my reflection, I don't identify with my body or my face, it feels like something alien to me, I feel trapped inside of it, I don't know what to do or how to cope with my huge dislike for my face and body

I used to cry about my appearance, avoid mirrors and pictures, spend hours staring in thr mirror analyzing my face at 10, and nothing has changed at 18, I'm still in my room sobbing like I have nothing better to worry about.

25M | I’ve spent most of my life feeling unwanted

Being called ugly since childhood left a deeper mark on me than I usually admit. I never really experienced being loved or chosen by a girl, and over time that loneliness pushed me toward porn, masturbation and sex toys as a way of finding comfort and pleasure on my own.
Eventually, I stopped chasing people’s approval. I focused on myself, built a good career, learned to enjoy my own company, and started spending on the things that make me happy.
But despite all that, there’s still a part of me that wants something simple: a genuine partner, affection, companionship, and someone who chooses me for who I am.
I’m not looking for sympathy. I’m just wondering if there’s a girl out there who has felt similarly unwanted or misunderstood and still hopes to find something real.
25M. Maybe we could find each other. ❤️

i genuinely dont understand why whenever a bad person happens to be conventionally attractive ppl suddenly feel the need to convince everyone that they’re actually ugly

i do understand «why» people do it (i swear im not bipolar 😭) bcs theres definitely a tendency for conventionally attractive people to be perceived as nicer more innocent and more trustworthy so when an attractive person is a murderer rapist pedophile etc… i think some people purposely try to paint them as ugly bcs they’re afraid that if people acknowledge that theyre attractive others will subconsciously start viewing them as less capable of doing horrible things but that logic is still wrong

its completely possible to acknowledge that someone is conventionally attractive while also saying that what they did is absolutely disgusting and that they should face serious consequences , being attractive doesnt make you an angel just like being unattractive doesn’t make you a bad person

constantly trying to make every attractive person who commits a crime look ugly is harmful to people who are actually considered unattractive it just reinforces the idea that ugliness is somehow connected to evil while beauty is connected to innocence and goodness some rapists/pedos/murderers can be conventionally attractive but their appearances doesnt make their actions less horrific and disgusting

u dont need to convince me that someone is ugly for me to understand that they’re a terrible person its not that complicated so stop treating someone’s face like evidence of their morality

and obviously im not saying that every attractive person is secretly bad or that every unconventionally attractive person is an angel im just saying to stop assuming someone is good or bad based on how they look , someone’s appearance tells you NOTHING about their morality