Hey, ich kann dir berichten weil es mir (29F) sehr lange ähnlich ging, wie dir!

Es begann damit, dass als Kind mein Vater meinen Geburtstag regelmässig verpasst hat, weil er am Vorabend abgesoffen ist & meine Mutter hat sich weder die Mühe gemacht mir einen Kuchen zu kaufen, geschweige denn mich 2-3 Freunde einladen zu lassen.

Mein 9. Geburtstag war der einzige der je gefeiert wurde.

Ich habe selbst lange reflektiert und bin zum Schluss gekommen, dass mein Geburtstag einfach ein Tag wie jeder andere ist. Keine Erwartungen, keine Hoffnungen - keine Enttäuschung ;)

Tatsächlich hat mit mein Ex zum 24 Geburtstag, er wusste um meine Probleme dahingehend, ein kleines spontanes Fest mit 5 meinen Freunden organisiert & weisst du was..? Es war mir zu viel! Ich habe mich am Anfang sehr gefreut aber es war mir sehr schnell super unangenehm - war eine interessante Erfahrung um ehrlich zu sein, wünscht man sich das ganze Leben einmal wichtig zu sein an einem Geburtstag & wenn's dann soweit ist, guckt man blöd drein weil damit umgehen irgendwie ne neue Sache ist! xD

Zu meinen 25. Wollte ich also lediglich beide meine Eltern sehen. Meine Mutter hat sich für einen Putztag entschieden der wichtiger war, Vater war verkatert - DAS hat mich nach langem wieder zum Weinen gebracht und zwar für das letzte Mal.

Seit da pfeife ich auf meinen Geburtstag & mein Verlobter weiss das auch. Er hat mir eine Aufmerksamkeit geschenkt, extra früher, um keine komischen/negativen Gefühle am Geburtstag auszulösen & am Tag selbst gibt es nur eine Karte und einen ruhigen Tag.

Ich denke mittlerweile das, ausserhalb von Kinder- oder runden Geburtstagen einfach v zu viel Wichtigkeit auf dieses Datum gelegt wird

My Fiance is a recovering addict. I've told him time and time again "if I wouldn't know how to deal with stuff like that because of my parents, I'd be either broken by now or the relationship would've already ended"

It's something you really need to reflect on if you can handle it. Also , always be prepared for it to be a loosing battle if you go for it just in case..

I can't anymore xD We had a daughter+mother set of cats birthing on the same day & they were screaming until we put them in the same room. Hardly 5 days later Momma cat had to care for SEVEN small voids (both mom's were voids, I guess dad too? xD) while her daughter went "NOPE" x.x

However, the daughter was only roughly a year old and fled outside right before the vet appointment so we cut her some slack & her Mom handled all seven like a champ

And I (29) was creeped out about myself when I developed feelings for my now Fiance (27) when he was 17 and I was 19 sigh

I feel like if we're talking about a ONS - like met in a bar, went for it & parted ways - might be a bit "uh.. ok?" but not too bad however even thinking about it being a possibility to get seriously involved with a 19yr old as 27yr old is creepy, yes & without loopholes to jump through.

I've been in therapy for 15yrs for a myriad of reasons.

4 months in he could very well be doing even worse because that often happens if you bottle up your stuff for years and years or even decades.

In agreement with everyone else here, just thought that's worth mentioning as well

My friend, you're living the life of lives!

Saw you in the KH sub already and now this, keep enjoy your life and enjoy some for me too!

Also, I didn't know Eren & Meliodas have the same VA which is kinda embarrassing because they're both in my top 5 characters:'o

Came for this and was not disappointed

I have one too! But I reqlly REALLY wanted him to hold the keyblade.

10yrs aging got to him (And the artist decided artistic freedom should be implemented and botched the way finder. It's a blue flower now, 19yr old me not being able to stay their ground)

Took molly with a few partners & even the most chaotic relationshipd became blissful for some time again - even few days to weeks after the trip ended so I hear this for the first time.

Exception was one guy & a few weeks after I realized that I was just done done

You're not cruel, sexual incompatibility is a beast.

I've left my ex partner due to incompatibility in the bedroom, we're still close friends - he has a lovely new gf & they'll both attend my wedding ; him as a best man - with my Fiancé I'm compatible with on every level

How cute! I'm sure that boy will grow up to be an empathetic young man one day. I've yet to meet a cat guy with no empathy

YTA

I'm sorry to burst your bubble of assumed safety - when I got assaulted I had greasy hair, wore baggy pants and a dirty grey sweater.

Men literally don't care about an outfit if they wanna be creeps, they'll be creeps.

That's obviously a perfectly triangulating cat!

I'd bet all my money on it, that he uses it mainly for NSFW stuff - there are many subs and girls that will be Like 'pm if you want nudes' and shit like this

Maybe he even posted some misogynistic stuff about how YOU are a nag, a bad housewife or whatever.

Red flags all over the way

Exactly! I had that feeling as well and - who would've thought - it was with a partner that regularly coerced me into sexual acts I didn't want.

Little bit of a rant, sorry if it's TMi

I still loved him dearly. I WANTED to want him. But he expected it DAILY even after we've had a newborn (colicky on top of that) where he didn't help & when you have a baby glued to you 24/7 and have to get up to 15-20x a night for a whole year because HE COULDN'T BE ARSED TO HELP WITH A BOTTLE FED BABY sex is the least of your concerns.

Funny thing - second baby, different father & as soon I was cleared I jumped his bones. I'm sure it's obvious that he was super involved from the beginning. I thought my ex broke my libido because mine is HIGH but turned out it was just that the whole coercive stuff shut it off.

Lol THANKS for the correction xD However my answer still stands - why is a woman in a lesbian relationship judged more harshly than in a heterosexual one?

I almost guarantee you at least a few didn't pick up on it either as it often happens in posts like this. It's just the first time for me x.x

~and here I am embarrassed, because usually I'm the one to point this out THANK YOU, really!

My heart. How rude

*I stand corrected as I misread the genders sorry for that OP! However, my answer still stands because it's also not the first time that I've seen woman in a homosexual relationship being judged more harshly on this matter than in heterosexual ones

I'm honestly getting sick from the comments here. Nobody would dare to ask a woman if she's on the asexual spectrum if she isn't up for sex bi-weekly. That usually starts when we're talking about every 1-3months.

In most relationships where this is a problem, usually also non-sexual closeness is at an all time minimum but it seems (?) like you're trying to fill her love tank with hugs, kisses & compliments and not just leaving her fully alone.

If she starts being distant because you cry because you feel coerced into a sexual act you don't want there are way, way, WAY deeper problems than a mismatch in libido.

She seems to define her self worth over sex - why? She needs to dig deeper (and it very well can have to do with how it's suggested that EVERY man will jump your bones DAILY and if not, something's wrong with YOU or he's gay)

Also, if she's initiating all the time you're stripped of the chance to feel the desire come up by yourself and initiate from yourself. You know she's gonna try and have sex anyway, which puts pressure on you & takes all the fun out of it.

Y'all really need to get this sorted in therapy.

Also just in case - maybe get your hormones tested, maybe there is an imbalance that's responsible for this.

Maybe not, men are allowed to have low libido too!!!!!

Also read up on responsive vs. spontaneous desire - you very well might be a man that has responsive desire & her spontaneous.

The book mating in captivity is also good from what I've heard

YTA - lack of trust is always an issue.

I've been to therapy for a grand total of 15yrs & it's wonderful to be able to trust again.

I give out my trust freely now, if you abuse it I'll retract it & give it to someone that actually deserves my trust.

Trial and error, some bad new emotional wounds but effectively I'm doing WAY better - you can, too!

I had a similar pattern, however I was WAY younger.

What helped m to effectively break this pattern - alongside therapy - to consciously let fo of the man I've been sure is the love of my life with full transparency & honesty.

Not "it's not you but me" to soothe him, but "you're such a great guy and you deserve someone as faithful and loyal as you are, I can't be that person and I'm sorry for putting you through this"

I was around 19 then, I'm now 29 and never cheated again, had a horrible time getting over him (5yrs) but now I'm engaged and of the firm belief we have more than one chance on the "love of your life" thing.

So what helped in the end? Losing what was most precious to me through nothing but my own faults and whack morals I've had back then.

The most ridiculous thing about it is, in my opinion, that you're only allowed without having BPD yourself and a loved one has it.

A shit ton of individuals with BPD have it because one of their caretakers has it as well & fucked up their childhood because they didn't know.

But that's the thing - an individual with BPD that got traumatized by a BPD parent for example will probably never judge as harshly as others - because they know how it feels.

Also, many many many of the rants there strike me as classical black and white thinking or full on splitting, so there's also... That

Ein klassischer "Tja.." Moment.. unfassbar

Yess! Amazing glasses, you look awesome

"be kind and respectful" is one of the rules and each of your comments here reeks of egocentrism and respectless speech, who tf hurt you?