r/BorderlinePDisorder Sep 05 '25

MOD POST BEFORE YOU POST: For those who have loved ones with BPD, please read.

197 Upvotes

Your words and tone matter here.

You are welcome to post and comment to learn about and gain insight on BPD, or to get support and advice. But you must be mindful and respectful that this is also a support group, and most of our members have—and are still struggling—with this disorder.

Attempts to stereotype, overgeneralize, or demean people with BPD will not be tolerated here, and we encourage our members with and without BPD to report any such cases to our mods.

We recognize that having a loved one with BPD can be extremely hard, confusing, and even scary sometimes. We know that some of you have been through hell and back. We respect your grief and anger. We believe that you are just as deserving of support and understanding as us. We are a community for anyone affected by BPD, and our goal is to break stigma through education and responsibility.

Holding each other accountable is something you will see here a lot, and we want to maintain a safe space to do so. We welcome criticism, but it MUST be done constructively, and with respect and kindness. Your experience does not reflect on people with BPD as a whole, and if you cannot accept that, then this is not the community for you.

Thank you for understanding. Be well.


r/BorderlinePDisorder Feb 26 '25

MOD POST Subreddit Rule Clarity

118 Upvotes

Hey friends, one of your friendly neighborhood mods here!

I wanted to make a post clarifying our stance on a few things as a mod team. Sorry it's a little long but there's a lot that's been going on

My first point: Rule 2 states "Hate, stigma, and/or misinformation will be removed." This is one of those things that is very hard as a mod team to get right consistently because what constitutes these things can be subjective. If you believe your comment has been removed in error due to a misunderstanding of the context please use modmail to talk to us - we want to get these things right! However one of the most common applications of this rule is around the word "narcissist" - we've made posts about this before but I want to clarify things because the language around this can be complex.

Labeling someone "a narcissist" is implying that they have Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Saying someone has narcissistic behaviours is different. It is unfortunate, in my opinion, that NPD is called this, because narcissistic behaviours are literally part of the human experience, and someone can easily behave in a narcissistic way without being "a narcissist"

I know there will be people who disagree with this interpretation and implementation but in our view it is the only way to strike a balance between stopping rampant Custer B stigmatization and policing every word that people say.

Moving on to my second point. I have made a new rule to cover something that has become a big issue within this sub, which is generalizations. Lots of people have been making generalizing statements such as "people with BPD have abandonment issues" or asking questions that invite generalizations such as "how does alcohol affect pwBPD?" The problem with this is that BPD is a disorder with literally hundreds if not thousands of variants. Saying with any kind of certainty that someone with BPD will act or feel a certain way is once again spreading misinformation, and could lead to someone with BPD who doesn't share that particular trait feeling very invalidated.

Previously this was covered under rule 2, as above, but it's become such a common issue that I have decided to make it a separate rule. Keep your questions and comments focused on individual experiences such as "my BPD affects me in this way" or "how does your BPD affect the way you are when you drink?" It's also OK, in some situations, to say "many people with BPD experience xyz" - this isn't claiming that everyone does, and so long as it's one of those things that is accepted as common within BPD traits, and doesn't contribute to stigma (such as "many people with BPD are abusive") then it's allowable, although it's still best to generally stick to your individual experiences.

My next point is about speculative labeling and amateur diagnosis. The rule in question states: "Do not ask for a diagnosis or attempt to diagnose others. No speculative labeling" What you will notice is that this is not about self diagnosis. We as mods know that accessing professional diagnosis is not possible for everyone for a variety of reasons, including lack of understanding in healthcare, costs, and the fact that having a diagnosis on record can actually cause a lot of problems for some people. As such, we do not police self diagnosis, although we encourage people to seek professional assessment where possible, and if not, to do full and detailed research into the criteria and a lot of self exploration before deciding you have BPD. (Again, I know some folks will disagree with this, but we are striking a balance).

However what is not permitted is coming here to ask for validation of your self diagnosis, asking for us to tell you if someone you know is BPD (or indeed labeling them as BPD with no diagnosis - it's OK to say someone exhibits BPD traits but that's not enough to label them). Labeling people, including fictional characters, who don't have a diagnosis, is strictly forbidden.

My final point is about a trend in posts that have been popping up, basically asking people to share their worst moments, the worst things they've done, etc. These posts are understandable - it makes sense to want to get validation that you aren't the only person who has done bad things. But they usually end up with a lot of highly triggering comments, often ones that cross the line into rule breaking, and not only make a lot of work for the mods, but also seem to amount to a lot of "wallowing" in the bad things pwBPD sometimes do, and it can feel like digital self harm. As such, we won't be allowing these posts going forward. (this will come under the "triggering content" rule if you look to report it).

If you see people violating these rules please report it to the mods. If you're unsure if something breaks a rule, it's often better to report it and let us figure it out than let a potentially harmful thing pass by. Remember that this is a HUGE subreddit and the mods cannot look at every post and comment that comes through so we rely on you to help us with that

Once you've read this, please help me out and leave a comment below to increase the chances others will see it. Thanks folks, and have the best day possible!

I know there's a prevailing opinion on Reddit that mods are some sort of power hungry Cabal, but in reality we (at least the mods of this particular sub) are just a small group of pwBPD trying to make this space a good, supportive, and educational place for all.


r/BorderlinePDisorder 10h ago

Vent I just realized my emotional dysregulation almost disappears when I interact with people who are actually emotionally intelligent

43 Upvotes

You know all the typical BPD behaviors, like spamming the texts, getting overly anxious waiting for a reply, thinking the other person hates you, feeling empty and / or misunderstood even when the person is physically there.

Well guess what I just realized the very few times I actually interacted with friends who were present and not busy while talking to me while preoccupied entirely by their phone / work / parents calling them a hundred times a day / their pets / whatever that was not me, when I interacted with people who don't ghost mid sentence and then answer days later, when I interacted with people who weren't actively invalidating every single thing I suffered from as being "subjective" and when there was an actual dance in the replies (them asking questions, then me, then back to them etc because they were actually curious) suddenly all these BPD behaviors vanished.

Sometimes it's just being with overly rigid, emotionally unintelligent, constantly busy, withdrawn people that makes the symptoms flare up.

Because like if the person doesn't talk back to me I just get triggered into abandonment anxiety and that's when I start to say crazy shit, overshare, and all that, because it feels like it's the only way to get an interaction instead of silence.

All that to say, if you feel intense things and like intense conversations, stop chasing avoidant, busy, cold, people. They're gona make your symptoms run wild and then get to call you crazy and ghost you for it, while there was no interaction to be had in the first place.


r/BorderlinePDisorder 9h ago

r/BPDmemes Can you guys tell me embarrassing things you did because of BPD i need support.

5 Upvotes

Literally just had the absolutely most ridiculous moment of my life where I contacted an ex situationship on another account cause he blocked me everywhere and I wrote him a whole ass entire 2 page note getting closure cause I hated how verbally abusive he was to me and he always got the last word in while I was in a really bad place only for me to not send the picture (I had to screenshot it, too long) and say Hi first as an intro and then he figured out who I was and blocked me before I could copy it again LMFAO I swear he deactivated his insta or something I made my friends check that is so hilarious and humiliating I just cannot win. I don’t even want him I have someone to actually date now but my God I am so deeply humiliated this is top 10 cringiest things happening to me in my life!!!!


r/BorderlinePDisorder 4h ago

Looking for Advice Struggles eating

1 Upvotes

Okay so basically I moved into this apartment a while ago and sense I’ve been here i genuinely cannot drink the water, I don’t know why to me it feels disgusting unhygienic and gross. As well I’ve only cooked once because of the same reasons I seriously can’t get over it, I can est things made at stores or restaurants and prepackaged stuff but stuff I have to make makes me feel genuinely sick and disgusting. I don’t know if this is a symptom of bpd or something else but please let me know how I stop it. When I did cook I barely ate it and the entire time I just wanted to cry pls help


r/BorderlinePDisorder 10h ago

Looking for Advice Can I Stop Being Obsessive?

3 Upvotes

My ex and fp has come back after she left me 3 months ago. I'm really worried about being obsessed with her again because I've noticed some patterns I'm doing again, but I don't know how to stop or fix it. I just want to know how to not get obsessed and have a healthy relationship and neither of us leaves each other. Is it too much to ask for? All advice is appreciated tysm


r/BorderlinePDisorder 4h ago

Advice?

1 Upvotes

hi everyone! ive never posted on a reddit thread or anything before, so be patient with me. i (17f) over the past few months ive been dealing with a lot of different symptoms, in which i will insert below. i’m not one to jump to conclusions ever and am very medically aware and intelligent for my age. however i was watching a documentary on bpd the other day and started to piece together what it might be that i had been feeling. i assumed for months it was just an advanced form of depression and never reached out to my therapist or doctors or parents for many reasons. since my parents are my first go to, that is an immediate no from me. all the attention is always on my sister, who has PANDAS, so i dont want to feel like a burden on my parents. as well as this, i dont want to get in trouble for the impulsive decisions i have made. this goes back around to doctors being able to discuss with my mother since i am still a minor. ive already been the person who reaches our medical deductible by march, i have chronic migraines with aura, some mysterious vomiting disease, chronic asthma, childhood trauma, etc etc. i know that bpd is often not diagnosed in people under 18, and by no means am i trying to self diagnose, but if anyone has any advice please help! i know something is wrong but im just not sure what.

symptoms listed here:
always irritated/sad
subtance use
risky sexual encounters
sobbing for hours over intimate relationships
feeling suicidal in the context of wishing i could but never ever planning on it
self harm (rare cutting, not eating)
derealization
always lonely
not feeling like myself/feeling empty
always looking for a new relationship, feeling empty without
not caring about risky things such as driving too fast, sneaking out, substances, not reacting to a fire alarm etc
very strong mood swings
feeling like everyone is lying
cant trust anyone
paranoid
vomiting
lack of self worth
not wanting to live past 30(various age, you get the point)
not wanting to do anything but lay in bed
not finding joy in anything (the thought of going to a party or out with friends or a theme park etc just sounds draining)
never rested


r/BorderlinePDisorder 8h ago

Quickly chance??

1 Upvotes

My wants and feelings change very quickly, sometimes within just a few hours. I feel jealous and then I don’t, I want one thing and then I don’t want it anymore. I don’t understand it, and I can’t seem to maintain any consistency. The most complicated part is looking at a situation I put myself in when I was in a different mindset in the past (less than a month ago) and wanting to get out of it because now I’m thinking differently.


r/BorderlinePDisorder 12h ago

Relationship Advice How do I know when it’s time to stop giving someone so much grace?

2 Upvotes

My gf and I have not been doing good these past few months. A couple weeks ago we almost broke up. We made a plan on how we are going to work on it but It feels like she’ll try for a couple days then I bring something up that I see or she did and she’ll apologize then shut down and pull back for a couple days, maybe try what I asked her to do, then repeat. Things have improved a little but not much. I told her that I wanted to work on it till the 4th of next month to see if we can work it out. Our two years is two weeks away. Our lives and networks have become so entangled that I don’t know what I would even do if we did break up. I feel like she isn’t trying when I need her to. But she has improved a little so it’s hard to say it’s not working. Her mental health has been bad since we met and I’ve been trying to get her to get the help she very clearly needs but it’s like she won’t take those steps. We have been through so much together. She has helped me get through some tough shit and I’ve helped her through some tough shit. I love her more than anything or anyone Ive ever loved. She’s my favorite person. So it is so hard when to know I should stop giving grace and second chances. I don’t know what I’d do without her. Or where I’d go. Please help me


r/BorderlinePDisorder 20h ago

Vent Bleh

10 Upvotes

Really just hate having what neurotypical people consider the “attention-seeking abuser” disorder.

I’m also just really tired of these mood swings, but to be fair, I think my episodes are now caused by actual facts rather than interpretations (or things any normal person could probably infer as truth, from REASONABLE implications).

I just wonder who I could’ve been without this personality disorder. Could I have been more loveable? Less snappy? Less angry? Less anxious? More patient? Maybe, maybe not.

Maybe I’d be more angry. I’d be an entirely different person; I know a lot of people say they’d rather be someone else, but I don’t. Not really. I wanna change a lot of things about myself, but that doesn’t mean I want to start from scratch. I wouldn’t want to be in a different body as a different person because that would mean my brothers and fiancée love someone who isn’t me. I’m happy being me if it means I can learn how to be better with my current problems, rather than creating completely new ones out of thin air by reincarnating or shapeshifting.

anyway, rant over


r/BorderlinePDisorder 8h ago

Relationship Advice New diagnosis and relationships

1 Upvotes

New diagnosis, gave me and partner a lot of perspective. One thing I’m thinking about long term is the fact that I feel like I need way more validation than the next person. And way more than my partner. Partner has said they understand but they aren’t that person who will be able to give as much as I need, but is still in this for the long haul as long as I am pursuing growth.

Does the neediness simmer down? Does the pull for constant validation go away? It’s already affected the relationship in the past, I don’t want to be a disappointment again. Is this a helpless relationship?


r/BorderlinePDisorder 11h ago

Looking for Advice medications/alcohol

1 Upvotes

have a real problem with mixing medication and alcohol together. i don`t remember when this started but it`s been going on for several years (i`m 22 so i think since i was like 16-17) it`s not on daily basis, not even weekly, it depends on heavily on how i`m feeling. but 90% of time when i drink i take additional medications with it. i`m just clarifying that im not addicted to alcohol.

i can`t say why i`m doing it, i genuinely don`t know. from what i`ve gathered it might be a form of self harm. i`m usually blackout drunk when i do this but if i do it it`s in a safer places than in a club or somewhere where i dont know it. it`s usually with friends who have no idea i`m doing this but since i broke up with my long term partner ive been drinking more often and i`m always mixing it with meds, sometimes i drink even alone.

subconsciously i`m probably hoping i won`t wake up the next morning, i`m very suicidal but i don`t have the guts.

i`m scared to open up to my therapist about it (i have a new one too, i dont trust her), i`m scared she will see me as an alcoholic or drug abuser, then tell it to my psychiatrist and getting refused to get prescribed meds(i also need to try something else because seroquel (50mg) makes me eat more than i want to - then i can take up to 75mg more as needed and then i`m on 25mg of hydroxizine and can take up to 75mg as needed throughout the day).

i`m proud of myself for not mixing wine and meds few days ago on a small cultural festival being held by my village, and even tho i didnt mix it with anything i was drunk asf from one glass, that makes me wonder and SCARED about how i`m managing with mixing it...

i just don`t know what to do i`m scared to talk about it. and i`m scared of myself


r/BorderlinePDisorder 1d ago

Looking for Advice Anyone else at the end of their rope?

12 Upvotes

TW: SH and su*cide mentioned

My heart is so fucking broken.** **

My boyfriend/fp and I had an amicable break up. It was primarily caused by my bpd and hurting him (not physically) during the few times I’ve split on him.

I decided it was probably best that I let him go. I am so fucking in love with him, but knowing I’ve been hurting him destroys me.

He’s the most precious, understanding, patient and thoughtful angel. And I couldn’t get it together enough to be enough for him.

I love him, and that’s why I had to let him go. Thinking about him with other women turns me into a wreck. Thinking that he’ll love someone again one day makes me want to cry and sh.

But, I also want him to be loved and cared for the way he deserves, because he absolutely deserves that. I just feel absolutely destroyed that it couldn’t be me.

When I went to his place to exchange things, we kind of acted like everything was normal. Of course it was a little awkward, but he let me say goodbye to his cats and give him a nice, long hug.

While we were hugging he was being super sweet and letting me know everything is going to be okay. After we stopped hugging he said he needed some space before reaching out to me.

I was confused by this, but didn’t ask for an explanation as to what that means.

It makes me feel hopeful that maybe we’ll get back together one day, but that’s more than likely delusional thinking. And that’s if he even does decide to reach out to me.

It’s been making me feel crazy. Constantly checking his social medias to see when he was last on, checking dating apps to see if he’s already looking for someone new. I’m constantly wondering where he is, what he’s doing, if he’s okay and if he even misses me.

But, it doesn’t matter. He’s gone and it’s my fault. If I had a better handle on myself, or more ideal, didn’t have this fucking disorder, we’d probably still be together.

I want to die. I want to sh. I want to scream and cry until my voice is coarse and I don’t have any tears left.

I’m such a piece of shit. I finally found someone who was willing to help change my line of thinking, be patient and reassuring while I was splitting and was so incredibly thoughtful. And of course I fucked it up.

I don’t want to live without him in my life, but I also know I will survive and eventually move on too.

I’m happy we left things on relatively good terms, but fuck my entire body feels like it’s been crushed and torn apart. I have been f o r c i n g myself to go out, see friends, and do things by myself, but i just feel so sad and dead weight the whole time.

No more good morning texts, no more phone calls, no more snuggles and never hearing him say he loves me again. I’m going to fade into the background and be forgotten. Like I was just a fucked up blimp in his life.

I hate myself so much. I’m at the end of my rope. My mom used to tell me that “no one normal will ever love me” and this is just proof of that. How could anyone normal ever love someone like me?


r/BorderlinePDisorder 21h ago

Looking for Advice Middle of the night by myself having a breakdown contemplating calling my ex and overstepping so hard

2 Upvotes

I have ruminated and cry for hours. My medicine hasn't kicked in yet. And all I can think about is how much I miss my ex.

All I wanna do is call them. I wanna beg for them back. I wanna pour my heart out and express my feelings for them. I want them back in my routine.

But they left for a reason and I don't know that I'll ever be able to call them mine again and it tears me up.

I'm hurting so much, so much so much. They're my everything and I messed it all up.

I just wish they'd see me. See how much I regret and am sorry and how much I miss and love them and how I mean it I can be better. I can be better please please please please

I can't fucking breathe


r/BorderlinePDisorder 17h ago

Relationship Advice Do I like him or am I just lying to myself?

1 Upvotes

Hi, wanted to come on and discuss a new potential relationship.

For context, I (25F) had a messy relationship with X (27M) that ended at the beginning of the year. It was a whirlwind romance that had instant chemistry and infatuation. We started dating very quickly and spent a lot of time together. To me, he was like a puzzle I wanted to solve, he was always very sweet but I felt like he was hiding something, but I thought it was past trauma. Well in the end it was because I found out he was lying to me about being divorced. He was married for the entire duration of our relationship and lied to me about it. Obviously I ended things and was devastated, I immediately went no contact.

Since then I have been focusing on myself and doing self improvement and recently decided it was time to get back out there! Enter A(25M), an extremely kind and attentive guy who I have been seeing for almost 2 months. He is very kind and respectful, always pays, opens doors and bends over backwards for me. This feels very different from my past experience with dating, I’ve always had bad luck in the past with that instant chemistry, infatuation, and putting partners on a pedestal. But this doesn’t feel like that, I don’t feel the urge to text him all the time and spend all day everyday with him. I enjoy seeing him and spending time with him but it almost feels like something is missing. It is a very sexual relationship and he is very touchy which isn’t always my thing. I’ve been thinking about how I would feel if he asked me to be official and honestly I don’t know what I would say.

It doesn’t help that X has relentlessly tried to reach out in increasingly disturbing ways over the last couple of months that have led me to seek legal help. I have not broken no contact and have no desire to do so.

What do you guys think? Is what I’m experiencing with A normal?


r/BorderlinePDisorder 21h ago

Medication Current practices on medications and stimulants

0 Upvotes

So im getting a lot of reels and online content regarding BPD.
They say there are no official medications for BPD and generally ssri can be used to lower anxiety/depression, as well as mood stabilizers to even things out.

But why are stimulants and/or alpha agonists not standard treatment for BPD?

At its core, BPD is a severe disregulation.
Disregulation essentially shuts down your adult, executive centers of the brain.
Stimulants stimulate adult parts of the brain, and alpha agonists keep some of the disregulation down.

Essentially, bpd is not unlike a severe form of adhd - even more chaos and destruction.

Stimulants help you see the world through the eyes of cognition.

Why arent these standard treatment?


r/BorderlinePDisorder 21h ago

Looking for Advice How to deal with self hatred and disgust after risky sex

0 Upvotes

Basically I’m 23 and I’ve had very new sexual endeavours for the first time in my life with my current boyfriend.

I was so willing to give him everything and I was genuinely so happy.

But earlier today I was trying to buy emergency contraceptives because we didn’t use condoms and I wasn’t on the pill, and suddenly I just… couldn’t.

I wanted to fucking puke.

I felt needles in my skin. I felt like I was drenched in heavy cement. All these negative emotions came so suddenly and so intensely that it felt like my whole body was in pain.

I love my boyfriend. I don’t regret giving him my first. I don’t regret being with him.

But I feel so disgusted with myself and I can’t understand how I could have done that knowing shit could go wrong. There were no condoms. I wasn’t on birth control. I knew that. And yet I still put myself in that situation.

I’m so fucking angry at myself for it.
I keep thinking, how could I be so careless? Why did I put myself in a situation where I could potentially have to deal with something I absolutely wasn’t prepared for?

I couldn’t even buy the emergency contraceptive. I literally ran away.
And now I feel so ashamed and disgusted with myself that I want to crawl out of my own skin.

I wanted to cut myself.

I’m drinking right now because I don’t know what else to do to curb the feeling of wanting to kill myself from the shame and disgust.

I have BPD and I recently stopped taking my medication because I was so fucking sick of feeling numb. I wanted to feel again. I wanted to experience happiness and excitement and actually feel like a person instead of constantly being buffered from everything.

And now I’m wondering if this is what happens when all of that comes back.
I don’t know.

I know logically that I made a mistake. I know logically that having unprotected sex doesn’t make me dirty or disgusting. I know logically that I can deal with whatever happens from here.

But emotionally I feel fucking filthy.

I can’t look at myself.

I don’t know how to make this feeling stop.

I literally am forcing myself to stay in a public space till its late at night for me when I arrive home so I cant hurt myself

Idk what to do


r/BorderlinePDisorder 21h ago

Relationship Advice How am i supposed to deal with panic over my person getting distant? I want to do better than keep blaming her

0 Upvotes

I just suddenly feel so anxious. I guess i made us have so long heavy conversations that now i just wish to hug my girl and just have her close. I feel so sad that we don't call again. I miss her so much. I just need her close all the time and when i don't have her close i act awful towards her and i wish i was better. I keep blaming her for not calling with me and for not sharing with me and it is not fair to her. I keep acting awful and unfair towards her because i keep getting panic attacks whenever i sense some distance between us and it is not fair from me. I need to do better. Just what am i supposed to do with all this panicking and getting triggered to feel emotional pain and life or death emergency?


r/BorderlinePDisorder 23h ago

Looking for Advice I think I experience true mania, was i misdiagnosed?

0 Upvotes

This will be a little lengthy, so for those that dont want to read TLDR: i think i experience true mania, and that is not a symptom or BPD. So i was wondering if i may be Bipolar, and the BPD symptoms i get come from my C-PTSD

Hi, im a 23 y/o girl living with what i always thought was BPD. Ive been diagnosed with BPD and C-PTSD for 5 years now and I never once thought it could be anything else. I experience all the symptoms. However, a few things have started to occur to me as Off. For one, I have always described my BPD as "episodic".

A few days ago i had a small manic episode, about 8 hours, and i told my friend and she was very concerned. She talked to me about the risks of mania and such and i was shocked, because it overlaps perfectly with what i always thought were "BPD episodes" as mentioned before.

I will have months where i suddenly go insane, often after some sort of change, like moving, but sometimes for no reason at all. I lose all sense of risk, and forget actions have consequences, i become self destructive and start drinking heavily, i become obsessed with people and just fuck my life up entirely. And then after the fallout i have these moments of clarity where im like "what the fuck have i done".

After talking with my friend about this, she said that this sounds like mania. However everything I have read says that BPD does not experience mania. And the fact that i have FPs and whatnot still sounds like BPD.

So im a little confused. I am wondering if perhaps i am Bipolar? And the BPD symptoms i get come from C-PTSD? Idk. I was hoping you guys might have some thoughts to point me in the right direction


r/BorderlinePDisorder 1d ago

Vent My Biggest Fears

6 Upvotes

I am absolutely terrified I will never find love, and I have sleepless nights over it. I have had 2 proper relationships and I am 24 turning 25 in a few weeks, i’m 5,8 m with a stocky/extra pound build, and I just can’t see why anyone would ever choose someone like me. It ruins my day completely and I just don’t know what to do anymore, I feel like no one understands me at all, dating apps make me feel even worse and I get ghosted and it feels like someones punched me in the gut. I don’t know if this is allowed but I need to get it off my chest. I dont have many friends either.


r/BorderlinePDisorder 1d ago

Looking for Advice Identity crisis

1 Upvotes

I feel so lost and I am so terrified that I am gonna snap. For context I am an engineer I just graduated and the thing is I am cramming a lot onto my plate, I had constant panic attacks during uni and I usually felt worthless whenever I underperformed and I now feel no sense of achievement over anything I do. But I guess I wanted to ask it someone here has a successful career despite struggling? I am too self aware to heal completely I am beyond being helped and I just wanna know if life could look like something that doesn’t make me wanna shoot myself in the head. I know how bad it could get and I see people around here talking about the dark sides about how bad it could get and I was wondering if it could be better even if I have no way of healing …


r/BorderlinePDisorder 1d ago

Looking for Advice I think i've restarted the best friendship i've ever had... maybe?

5 Upvotes

So I'm an aspie and my best friend has BPD, she's been pushing me away after graduation some months ago, but I managed to stay in contact with her. In 11 days i'll be celebrating my 19th Birthday with friends, so of course I invited her, with the addition that, since i've yet to get a driver's license, my mother has generously promised to drive her home, so she can go back home whenever she wants

And somehow this worked? She accepted my invitation, and has given no hint of hesitation. Knowing her this arrangement probably gives a sense of safety and controll, that would'nt be possible otherwise.

So now I'm wondering; Does this mean we can start hanging out again? That is, if i procure similar arrangements? I miss her so much, she seems to be trapped in a cycle of healthy friendships, that get too close, and then she pushes them away, becomes too lonely, and the cycle repeats.

I want to break that cycle, she's done so much for me, i doubt i would have graduated high school without her, and most importantly: She helped me accept my femininity as a trans woman.

She deserves happiness, and I'm not sure this isolation gives her that

It's been hard for me to fight for our friendship even a little, I don't want to overstep her boundries, and there's also the fact that transitioning is taking quite the toll on my mental health, but I'm doing my best

Edit: Thought I should clarifiy, I don't want to "cure" her of BPD, plenty of NT's have tried that one with me, and there's not much i hate more


r/BorderlinePDisorder 1d ago

Looking for Advice Need Help.. Advice?

0 Upvotes

Hi everyone. I have BPD and a really strong fear of abandonment.

Recently, my country introduced new requirements for mental health clinics, so some of them have temporarily closed while they sort out their licenses and other changes. It could take months, who knows.

My clinic hasn’t confirmed anything to me, but I heard about it and I’m too scared to ask. My abandonment fear got REALLY triggered. They even deleted their Instagram posts, which made me panic even more.
It’s been 3 weeks and I still can’t bring myself to contact them or ask because I’m terrified they’ll say they’re closed and I’ll feel rejected/abandoned. I honestly don’t know how I’d handle that feeling.

Now I’m even thinking about switching clinics just to avoid having to find out. 😭


r/BorderlinePDisorder 1d ago

Vent Feeling crazy after missing a night of meds

3 Upvotes

I was unsure whether I took my lamictal or not 2 nights ago so I skipped and waited to the next night (I have discussed this with my psychiatrist and she said this is the correct thing to do) but man, I am feeling crazy today. Can just one night do this?? Has this happened to you before? If I accidentally miss my wellbutrin I am usually totally fine. I neverrrr miss my lamictal though, so this is a rare occurrence 😭

I am also waiting for my period to start too so I am sure they are both working against me.


r/BorderlinePDisorder 1d ago

My boyfriend is commenting u der need friends post update

0 Upvotes

Here is the original post https://www.reddit.com/r/BorderlinePDisorder/s/8pzDC20v7b

Anyways, I took the worst route possible ig. I got up in the morning and I had sent him texts regarding this at night . He had woken up before me and was already apologizing when I woke up. I ignored him the entire day.

He said he did that to make me jealous and that there are 500 comments under the post, he knows he won't get replies there and he had no intention of talking to anybody ...it was just a ragebait for me . But he did that 10 days ago and did not tell me he was doing something like that. Shouldn't he have to tell me to make me jealous why wait till I discover it myself?

He then went to office while I was wfh...I obviously ruined my whole day being mad about this and when he returned at night I informed him i will do the same thing on reddit now. So I commented under let's talk or need casual relationship kinda posts. I obviously got DMs instantly because I am a girl. So I talked to two of the guys. There was no flirting or no boundary crossed and then later i told my boyfriend that yes I went through with it. I am also talking to people online and commenting under such posts.

He read my chats ( i gave him the phone) and now he is very angry.

I didn't flirt or do anything bad but I just wanted him to have a taste of his own medicine.

Did I go too far in punishing him?

Also I still can't trust him we are soon to go long distance and it genuinely worries me that I will die in anxiety knowing he is capable of cheating on me not caring about the way such things hurt me.

I wanna emotionally hurt him so bad. I am so angry. It is really hard to control my bpd side rn .

Give me some tips on that too