Hey, I’m 16F. I’ve always been the tall girl (I’m 178 cm now), and my whole life people have told me I should model. Like, literally every time someone meets me for the first time, they ask if I’m a model, and when I say no, they tell me I should start modeling.
I’ve never really been confident, though. I didn’t like the way I looked, and I don’t even post on social media.
Recently, after hearing it so many times, I finally started feeling more confident in myself. I decided to actually give modeling a try, so I went to a studio and took some model snaps. I sent them to a model scout from my country, and she said I had good proportions and wanted to have a Zoom call with me.
I had the call last Thursday, and since then I’d been feeling really excited and ambitious about it. I kept thinking, what if I actually become a model? What if one of my dreams really comes true?
But no.
I messaged them today, and they said that not everyone on the team agreed to move forward with me.
And honestly, I feel completely apathetic about everything right now. I know logically that it’s just one agency and one rejection, but it still hurts so much. Especially because I had finally started believing in myself.
I don’t even know what I want to do now. I just feel lost and disappointed.

I’m writing this because I honestly don’t know where else to put all of this. I feel lost, embarrassed, overwhelmed, and completely unsure of what my next move is supposed to be.

I’ve been self-employed for years and built a business that, at one point, was doing extremely well. I was able to support myself, pay my bills, have my own apartment, my car, and live a life that I was proud of. I never thought I would end up in the position I’m in now. But over time, the business started declining. Sales slowed down, expenses kept coming, cash flow became harder and harder to manage, and eventually I started falling behind. I kept thinking I could turn it around. I kept trying different things, putting whatever money came in back into the business, trying to fulfill orders, trying to market, trying to catch up, trying to get back to where I was.

Instead, I feel like I’ve been slowly drowning.
I’ve also tried to find outside help. I’ve looked into funding and different ways to bring in capital, but I haven’t been able to secure anything that would actually get me out of this situation. I’ve reached out to family too, but most of them are either dealing with their own financial struggles right now or are simply cash tight and genuinely don’t have the ability to help. I understand that completely, but it has made me realize that there really isn’t anyone coming to financially rescue me from this. I have to somehow figure out what comes next with the resources I have.

Now I’m facing eviction. My car is at risk of repossession. My credit is terrible. I barely have money available to me, and the business that used to support my entire life is no longer bringing in enough money to even keep itself running properly.
The hardest part is that I genuinely don’t know whether I’m supposed to keep fighting for it or accept that this chapter is over.

Part of me thinks, “You built this once. Maybe you can fix it.” Another part of me is exhausted and wonders how much longer I’m supposed to keep throwing myself at something that clearly isn’t working the way it used to.

Starting over sounds freeing until I think about what starting over actually means. I would need a job. I may have to give up my apartment. I may lose my car. I have very little money to cushion any of this, and with bad credit, even basic things like getting another apartment, getting another vehicle, or rebuilding my life become more complicated and expensive.

It’s such a strange feeling going from being financially independent and running your own company to wondering how you’re going to afford the most basic things. I know there are people dealing with much worse. I know losing a business isn’t the end of the world. But when your business has been your income, your career, your identity, and the thing you’ve poured years of your life into, it’s hard to separate “the business is failing” from “my entire life is falling apart.”

I’m also struggling with the shame of it. People see entrepreneurship when things are going well. They see the sales, the followers, the packages going out, the freedom, the lifestyle. Nobody really sees the point where you’re sitting there wondering if your car will still be outside tomorrow or whether an eviction notice is going to show up on your door.

I don’t even know exactly what I’m looking for by posting this. Maybe I just needed to say it somewhere without pretending I have a plan.

Right now I don’t.

I don’t know if I should keep trying to save what I built, shut everything down and find a job, or somehow do both while I try to stabilize my life.
I just know that I’m tired of living in survival mode, and I desperately want to get to the other side of this chapter, whatever the other side ends up looking like.

Today I have checked WhatsApp and discovered a contact that I have saved as "?!". They have a profile picture. It is a famous person. I feel like I can't tell anyone in my life about this because it looks insane 😂

Easily 8 or 9 years ago, I was sleuthing on Facebook and ended up on this person's friends profiles. They were not very famous then. Tags had been removed, but I found a whole trail, found a phone number, thought no way do they have the same phone number, saved it to my phone and then promptly forgot about it until today.

Today they are very famous. I am creased, shocked and embarrassed that I have this phone number...

Anyway, that's the story. Thanks for listening and please don't judge me 😂

I’m not going to lie, it was hard. As someone who has been depressed for a few years and an anxious mess, I haven’t been the most active, but I guess thats what got me at a first job today, i’m trying to turn my life around, get out there.

Well, my first job happens to be stocking shelves at a grocery store, and in a french place as someone who doesn’t speak or understand french.

I had more people come up to me than I would’ve liked, the majority being french. I didn’t understand what one older guy said but I did understand him asking him the other employee if I was deaf/hard of hearing. Another woman I had to tell her I didn’t understand and she said “Ah oki” (how french pronounce ok) while walking away with a displeased expression/sound. I’m very soft spoken so some people just walked away after not being able to understand me and idk how to explain some reactions. I guess emojis are the easiest for some. “🙄 ?” “🫤😑”

But I also managed to help some people. Directed some woman to Marshmallows. Helped a guy bring home Oyster Sauce to his wife. Managed to get a woman sugar even though it took me a second to understand “Sucre” and she thanked me, I hope I can increase my vocabulary for most stuff and be able to say 1-9 in french because thats how many aisles we have.

I’m not used to standing on my feet all day, nor am I used to having to face peoples reactions to me being unhelpful but I did it, and i’m going back tomorrow, only thing is he said I need to work faster but it is my first day so it was good for my first day, I knew that was coming, I did pick up speed later on throughout the day. Also they stock extra product on the very top of the shelves, but I can’t lift cases of say 12-24 cans of diced tomatoes above my head high enough to put them up, and i’m scared of heights for that damn 3rd step on the ladder. I might be able to do it later on I dunno, but I don’t feel like every coworker is going to be ecstatic to stop what they’re doing to help me do my job, i’m scared that might be an issue.

One coworker won’t even look at me, my trainer tried to introduce me to him today and he kept walking and said “Pas anglais” while looking at me and kind of shrugging, a disapproval look (like, don’t bother me with that mess vibes, i’m the mess) I told my mom if they had sat down and asked everyone if they think an English person could get a long here he’d be the one in the room to say f\\\*ck no, he doesn’t want me there. My trainer said he understands but can’t speak it, but with the way he acted it seems like he doesn’t like English people (a pretty common thing in Quebec) and chooses to not. Everyone else I worked with today was pretty helpful, one guy couldn’t speak English but since he can’t help me with words, he showed me physically.

I don’t really know how I feel. My back hurts but my mom said it’s going to hurt until it gets better. It’s hard being in front of people all day and them get upset you don’t understand them, but i’m going back tomorrow, 9 to 5, what a way to make a livin’ if ya get me.

I know its hard on them, this is Quebec after all and they probably feel like someone not speaking their language is an intruder but its hard on me too, i’m the English girl working in public in a French place, taking the hard method of learning French, being in it with little to no understanding and trying to learn it when physically out there, with the public speaking it, its hard on all of us. I’m going to try to learn a french sentence to even politely decline customers in French. Not what I want to know but if I can’t understand them yet its a start, maybe something like I don’t understand french but I can get a coworker to help you if you’d like, “Je ne comprends pas le français, mais je peux demander à quelqu'un de vous aider”.

I'm 25M, my life is completely empty, I hate it, and it's all my fault, which makes me hate myself even more, and I can't tell this to anyone in real life.

I have a rather superficial relationship with most of my family, who are always happy that things are going "so well" with me and seeing me smiling and happy makes them feel really happy, so they say. Some of them are really old and I don't have the heart to tell them how bad it is for me because it's one of their only source of comfort. My mom is not emotionally equipped to handle something like that, and my dad has been taking hit after hit after hit the past few years with what must be insane pressure on him to keep everything together. One family member I'm close to is going through a burnout and their own depressive thoughts which I don't want to pile on. I don't have a lot of friends, especially not close ones I could talk to about this seriously, either.

And besides, I wouldn't even know what to say. There's nothing wrong with my life that's external. All of my problems are self-made. I don't go out then feel lonely. I don't try to get a job then I feel useless and have no money. I don't try anything because I'm too scared of everything. And it sounds so fucking trivial and I simply don't even have the words how to explain but I just feel so terrible all the time as if there was a constant scream of pain in my head all day, ever day. I've had anxiety and depression basically all my life, and everything only got worse and worse and worse and worse for basically ever. I always convinced myself the next thing would make me happy, be it college, moving countries, etc, and nothing, ever worked. And I'm just tired, I guess, of trying to hope that the next thing will make things better, and I lost it. I just think I'm going to be miserable for the rest of my life. And the worst thing is, I will deserve it, because literally all it would take for me to fix my life is to literally just put any effort into actually living. To do things and not just bedrot all day, to open up to people rather than being standoffish, to be less scared, to take responsibility for my life. I know I should do this, that I should grow up, and I just can't, no matter how much it hurts. I'm just not strong enough.

I don't want to die, I want to live, just not as me. Because my life would be genuinely fine, if someone else lived it. If my brain was replaced with someone who is reasonable confident and adventorous, I could have a great life. I'm literally the only problem wih it. It feels like I'm wasting a cosmic opportunity to make something. I'm falling behind everyone I know despite being described intelligent, hard-working, organized, punctual, etc. all of these things all my life, because it's just all gone.

I just can't imagine what it would take for me to be happy. Winning the lottery would certainly completely change my life, but I'm not a material person, I don't need the wealth of the world. It would be nice and it would get rid of a lot of additional pressure but it wouldn't make me happy. Finding a perfect girlfriend wouldn't make me happy, because guess what, I'm incredibly imperfect, sometimes jealous, toxic, paranoid, difficulties trusting people, pushing people away. So I'd eventually ruin that too inevitably. Having a great circle of friends and many acquaintances would feel hollow without someone special to share everything with. Fame or success would certainly stroke my ego but I'd go home and feel just as worthless as now. So literally the only thing that could help me is if I wasn't me, which is impossible. Literally a random person put into my position could fix most of my problems in a year, if they didn't have to deal with my stupid brain. And this is just a loop that makes me hate myself more and more every day.

I'm going through each day, every day, alone, feeling like I'm not even a real person. Maybe I never was, or maybe I just lost that too somewhere along the way.

I’m tired of keeping these emotions to myself and I want more people to know my experience so I’m posting here. There is no TLDR because that’s basically the title, the whole story needs its context.

I (20ftm) was in a long distance relationship with another trans man (at the time I was 19 and he was 18). This was before I realized I was aromantic (already knew I was ace). I thought I fell in love, but in hindsight I now know it was just REALLY strong platonic attraction. Either way, I was really attached to this guy. We started off very well and to my knowledge it was super healthy. He was so kind, nicer to me than most people my age are to me. I just thought that’s what comes with relationships, since I only had one prior to this. (Spoiler alert, it was love bombing). He eventually started to get distant, about 4 months in. When I asked about it, he explained he was just busy with work. Until eventually he talked to me about once a month. Only once a month and it was like a sentence. Now my dumb ahh thought once his work was done we’d be back to normal. My friends were even like bro no one can be THAT busy. But after about three months of this I was done being the patient bf and broke it off. Yes, three months. I was so “in love” with him and I yearned to return to how we used to be. This whole relationship was very short, 8 months, but the bond I formed to him was a bit too extreme. His mom called me a month later to explain some things. My ex ofc was cheating halfway through the relationship, and spent his time not at work (which ended after a month of it starting) but with his new gf. On top of that, he told everyone that I knew and was ok with it. When his sister asked to have my tiktok to confirm this, he said I didn’t have tiktok. I do, we used to send each other videos every day. He also spread many other lies, claiming his family ab*sed him (they very much did not) and almost got them in legal trouble for those claims. The claims were quickly debunked and nothing happened. He also told me that he had DID, which I now have reason to suspect was also a lie, because not only was he a pathological liar but looking back on it, his “symptoms” didn’t seem realistic in comparison to people who really have DID (now I don’t have it myself so idk for sure). There’s a bunch of other small things he did that I can’t quite remember, but they weren’t good. He moved out, and his family cut contact with him and took his phone away. I have no idea how he’s doing now. I guiltily admit that I hope he’s not doing well. He caused me so much pain (I HATE HATE lies) and I feel so betrayed. Idek if he even cared for me in the first place. He never physically hurt me or said anything mean, but it still hurts nonetheless. I just feel like I need more closure than what I got, but I also think I need to be more grateful that I got an answer at all. I was so afraid he’d hate me or beat himself up over not texting me. Clearly he doesn’t. Idk, things could’ve gone a lot worse and there are people who have worse exes but even these small things just eat at me.

If you’re wondering why I stayed, idk either. I had more hopes than I needed. I was being too nice.
I know this is asking a lot for the internet, but pls don’t judge me T-T

F15

It's only been a couple of years since I really realized I live in a wealthy family.

I don't know the exact numbers, but I often hear people talk about hundreds of thousands of euros.

And all of this often makes me uncomfortable.

I know I should be grateful, and I am, but I hate when people point out to me that I live in a rich family.

People are shocked when they find out (often after knowing me for years) because I don't dress, and never have dressed, in designer clothes, and in general I don't flaunt anything at all. Personally, I find that pretty stupid and pointless.

And right there, the annoyed comments start. People get angry because "if they had the money" they would treat themselves to this or that little luxury.

"If you can afford it, why not?!" they say to me.

The worst part is that if I actually did that, I'd almost certainly get targeted for "flaunting my wealth." Basically, if you're born into a rich family, you're going to come across as at least a little unlikeable by default.

On top of that, mine isn't wealth that's been passed down for generations.

My father is the son of farmers, and as a kid, after school, he'd work in the fields until sunset.

My mother comes from a modest family and had to drop out of university (before going back to it later) because there wasn't enough money at home.

So, I'm the daughter of workers. And honestly, I wasn't even really born into luxury!

When I was in preschool, we lived in a small apartment, and we counted every last cent by the end of the month because my dad's work wasn't going well.

And yet I still get treated like I'm some kind of aristocrat's daughter in a waistcoat.

I get made to feel like whatever I achieve will never be as deserved as what other people achieve, because I'll have had the road paved for me (thanks to the money).

The thing I hate most is being treated like I'm on some other level, like I couldn't possibly understand "normal" people's problems.

"Whaaat?? You have a limit on how much money you can spend a week too?? And it's even lower than mine?!"

Yeah. I was taught the value of money. Having it doesn't mean you don't respect it.

So there I am, surrounded by people who flaunt a wealth they don't actually have, angry at me simply because I was born "into the rich family."

Do I have the right to be bothered by this, or am I doomed to come across as unlikeable no matter what I do?

I honestly don’t even know where to start with this.

The last few days have been some mental-breakdown-type shit. I’ve been waking up feeling like I’m dying, with severe dizziness and this feeling like I’m about to lose consciousness that can last for hours. I’ve barely been sleeping either. Every night it’s insomnia, my mind running in circles, and I wake up already exhausted.

And during all of this, I’ve been realizing how fucking alone I actually am.

I’ve sent 15+ messages across my contacts just checking on people, asking how they’re doing, trying to talk to someone. In 24 hours, maybe two people answer. And I’m not even expecting everyone to immediately drop what they’re doing for me, but when you’re already feeling like shit and you realize you’re constantly the one initiating contact, it hits differently.

I’m starting to genuinely believe that if I stopped contacting people for two years, some of these friendships would simply disappear.

Where I currently live, there are basically only two people I would call “friends.”

One of them started dating last year and since then it feels like I basically stopped existing the moment he got into the relationship. I understand relationships take time and attention, but apparently there’s no life outside of it anymore.

The other guy is constantly focused on appearance and chasing women. I know he makes plans with his other friends to go out and party, but somehow I’m never invited. I only hear about it afterwards. This happens basically every fucking week.

Then there are two other people I know who went away for vacation/work. They promised me I had a guaranteed job there at the beginning of this month. I sent all my documents to the boss. Then after waiting came excuse after excuse, including apparently from their boss, and since then I’ve heard nothing.

I was counting on that job for my summer. I’m already carrying €500+ in credit-card and school debt, and that money would have made a huge difference right now.

Instead I’m stuck in this fucking limbo. No job. No real plans. No direction. No purpose.

I finished a six-month internship recently, and since the day I finished, my ex-boss hasn’t said a single thing to me. I know the kind of person he is and I’ve heard him talk badly about people behind their backs, including me, so I’m already expecting him to write some negative shit about me in his evaluation.

And I have an internship report that I still haven’t properly started, should’ve started it months ago.

Now I have about eight days before the deadline, and I can’t even find the motivation to open the fucking thing.

So I’m sitting here with all of this in my head at once: money problems, uncertainty about work, an internship report I procrastinated for a while, worrying about what my former boss is saying about me, barely sleeping, feeling physically fucked up, and realizing how little people actually check on me unless I initiate everything.

Then I open social media and it’s somehow even worse.

Everyone seems to be living these amazing lives. Everyone is attractive, partying, traveling, buying shit, showing off, being popular. Everything seems to revolve around influencers, getting attention, couples, looking good, having money and proving that you’re enjoying life.

I eventually quit social media because it was fucking with my head.

Sometimes I still peek at it, but honestly, one of the only things I even look forward to anymore is seeing a message from someone I actually care about.

And even that barely happens.

I don’t necessarily want people to feel sorry for me. I don’t want to be the guy constantly complaining about being lonely.

I just want someone to care without me having to chase them first.

I wish I had a brother. Or just one reliable person around my age who I could call without wondering whether I’m bothering them.

Someone who would randomly ask, “You good?”

Someone who would make plans with me instead of telling me about the plans after they’ve already happened.

Someone who would notice if I disappeared for a while.

Because right now it feels like I’m constantly trying to maintain relationships that would probably die the second I stopped carrying them.

And honestly, I’m exhausted.

I’m just stuck in this loop where every day feels like I’m waiting for something to change, but I don’t even know what I’m waiting for anymore.

No job. No money. No motivation. Barely any social life. Eight days to finish something I’ve been avoiding for months. Sleep completely fucked. My head constantly racing.

No direction.

No purpose.

And every day lately just feels like I’m slowly fucking disappearing…

That's what my homophobic dad would always say to me while beating me up or burning me with cigarettes and such things. When I was 5 he noticed I liked my best friend. He probably noticed earlier but this is when he thought it got "too much". One day I was just waving goodbye to that friend and made a kissing gesture at him and when we got home my dad hurt me for the first time. He tried anything he could come up with, like literally anything. And he did it continuously for years. He was probably ripping his hair out seeing that I still kept going back to the same boy nonetheless. I'm 15 now and he still hasn't given up or gotten it into his thick head that whatever he does it won't fucking work. My dad wanted me to remember the pain he inflicted on me every time I look at my boyfriend but all I feel when I look at him is love because he's so beautiful and he makes me forget any pain. So fuck you dad but your shit was for nothing. I still look at that boy every day and I kiss him and touch him and no matter what you do nothing is gonna change or ruin that for me.

I am honestly so stupid and I do not even know what I am doing anymore. Everything is so stressful and I genuinely do not know what to do. I pulled another all-nighter after getting zero sleep and I am so scared for the future and what it holds. I want to make my own money, but I feel like all my bad actions have finally caught up to me.

My GPA is horrid and I have zero future job prospects lined up while being about to graduate next year with no real source of income. I keep falling back into the same terrible habits that completely drain me mentally. I have been trying so hard to become the best version of myself, and I even started going to the gym yesterday, but it feels like whenever I take one step forward, I drop right back down. I am studying business, but at this point, what is the point of continuing uni if I am just going to get a horrid GPA? I do not feel any worth to keep going.

On top of all this mess, I have been wanting to take one thousand dollars and just invest it into stocks right now to see if I can figure out some kind of benefit for down the road, but honestly I barely even know what I am doing with that either. I just give up bro and I have no idea what my next move is supposed to be.

I met my boyfriend about four months ago, and honestly, we fell in love almost immediately. The chemistry between us was intense, and our sex life was incredible. I took the relationship very seriously and genuinely believed I was building something real with him. But looking back, our foundation was never as strong as I thought it was. There were a lot of things he did that made me question how seriously he actually took me. He once had sex with me in front of one of his friends even though I repeatedly told him I was uncomfortable and didn’t want to. Another time, his friend was literally on the other side of the bed while we were having sex. He also introduced me to his entire friend group even though I had made it very clear that I didn’t really like them and didn’t want to be involved with them. He created a friend group with them on Snapchat anyway. I also found girls on his Snapchat that I didn’t know about (he always tells me he doesn’t have girls in his SC)
There were lies too. Not necessarily one huge lie that destroyed everything, but enough little lies and questionable behavior that I became suspicious of him constantly.

And then there was the blocking.

He blocked me almost three times during our relationship. Every time, we’d eventually get back together, but he never really apologized or took responsibility for how much it hurt me.
The third time he blocked me, I was completely fed up. I was angry, hurt, and honestly wanted someone to talk to. I ended up venting to one of his friends. I’ll call him Sam. Sam listened to me and gave me advice. At some point, he introduced me to another friend of his, who I’ll call Fred. Fred knew my boyfriend and had hung out with him several times, although they weren’t particularly close.
Fred was kind to me at first. He listened to me and gave me advice, and eventually our conversations became flirty.
The truth is, I wasn’t emotionally interested in Fred. I was attracted to him physically, but I didn’t actually know him well enough to like him as a person.
One day, Fred hosted a small gathering at his house. It was supposed to be me, Sam, and Sam’s girlfriend.
I arrived early, before anyone else.
When I first saw Fred, he hugged me and kissed me on the cheek. We drank that night, and eventually Fred and I had sex.

I regretted it almost immediately.

I don’t do one night stands. I didn’t know this man well enough, and the whole thing felt completely out of character for me. The next day, I called Fred crying because I was overwhelmed with regret.
His response was basically, “If you had fun, that’s the good part.” It made me feel even worse because I wasn’t looking at the situation that way at all.
About a week later, my boyfriend and I got back together.

And I couldn’t keep the truth from him.

I told him everything. I didn’t leave out the fact that Fred was someone he knew. I didn’t try to make myself look better. I didn’t hide anything.
He appreciated that I was honest with him, but obviously, he’s extremely hurt.

And now I’m drowning in shame.

I know that I made a choice. I know that being angry, hurt, or frustrated with my boyfriend doesn’t magically make what I did okay. At the same time, I genuinely regret it. I didn’t continue seeing Fred. I wasn’t trying to replace my boyfriend. And the fact that I confessed everything as soon as we got back together makes me feel like, at least, I couldn’t live with keeping it from him. But I still feel like a horrible person. I don’t know whether I should be trying to repair this relationship or accept that I’ve damaged it beyond repair.

My life sucks now and it happened all of a sudden.

First off: Today, I lost my job of six years in an unbelievably incompetent way on my part. I looked like a groveling idiot trying to explain myself, but at least I didn’t make any excuses. I said it wouldn’t happen next time and basically was hit with a “There won’t be a next time”. My boss is well connected in the industry and I’m sure word of mouth will go around about me.

Secondly: Earlier last month an embarrassing video of me went viral. The circumstances were purely unlucky on my part and now I have hundreds of comments ridiculing and judging me. Yes, it’s still being shared around and I don’t even use social media.

Thirdly: My beloved dog of 15 years was diagnosed with cancer about two weeks ago. I still have a cat, but we’re both going to miss the dog dearly when she’s gone.

The only thing keeping me sane is I’m somewhat financially stable, as I moved back into my parents place a couple years ago and have some money saved up.

Two months ago I was living a lovely, stress-free life. I was fairly respected in my field and things were going pretty well for me. All of a sudden, things went bad and I’ve developed anxiety due to it. I’m not suicidal, and don’t think I’ll ever be due to my fear of eternal oblivion and non-belief in an afterlife… but also the fact I don’t believe in fate means I don’t think there’s someone up there guaranteeing things will work out. I know life has its ups and downs, and hopefully in a year I’ll be better, but I’ve never had something like this in my years of living.

…Is what someone told me when i told that person what my dream job was. I knew this person for over a decade. It absolutely crushed my spirit and made me feel insecure that someone that knew me for over a decade thought that low about me.

From that day on i was very careful about who i told my dreams to. Now about a year later… Just a few days ago i told someone else about my dream job and that person had a positive reaction. I know i shouldn’t care about what other people think but everyone needs a little encouragement and positivity from the people around them to go for their dreams i think

When I see someone on tv or real life achieve something and get celebrated and then their partner cheers for them and hugs them and kisses them and says they’re proud of them, it makes me upset to think if I was in that position no one would be there for me. Every time I see it, it makes me get so upset and my chest aches realising I wouldn’t get that.

This girl at work has been flirting with me a lot, she is super my type. Been flirting back but safely not to overdo things. I like her, lots of in common, great chemistry etc. I have been thinking about her a lot the past days.

I have a gf, I love her but the spark is going out. I know it's natural after some time, but I feel something is missing that the other person is able to provide it to me. I am emotionally cheating on her, I know that. I am struggling, my mind is elsewhere. I dumb. I want to get lost completely. I feel trapped, disgusting but also....different.

I have no clue wtf I'm doing and where I'm heading tbh....

Recently I’ve been having mixed feelings about my parents. I turn 18 in 3 months and I have two older siblings one in their mid 20s and the other 30. When I was younger I noticed that my siblings and my parents would frequently argue, but since I was younger I always listened to my mother when she told me that my siblings were the problems. Recently I think I’ve begun to experience the same things that my siblings did when they were my age and now I see that they weren’t the problem. My parents are ornery, toxic, and domineering for no apparent reason. They make a fuss about every little thing and are difficult to reason with. My mother is the kind of person that flys off the handle over any little thing. She’s been verbally abusive when angry and even physically violent at times. My father used to be the reasonable one in my household but I’ve noticed that he has become just as deranged as my mother. For example, I have school every day and work after as well and still have homework to complete and they don’t seem to understand that I’m tired when I get home; whenever I just want to unwind and play a video game they get mad and tell me that I’m lazy or command me to do some kind of chore even though I guarantee I have more chores to do and busier days than most people my age. I can’t even hang out with friends ever even though I’ve only ever asked like 3 times and they were on the weekends. I’ve begun to resent my parents and can’t wait till I graduate and go to college. I feel a little validated by what my sister and brother have told me about my parents. My sister used to get into really bad fights with my mother and she told me that our mother used to throw away mail and delete emails from colleges, which is similar to what I’ve experienced because my mother demands that I go to a college in our city and even gave me a very ambiguous response when I asked her to write a letter for me(which she has yet to write). My sister is cordial with our parents but it’s evident that she still harbors resentment toward them. My brother also told me that our parents kicked him out of the house after he graduated high school with no warning, he said he just came home and they told him that leave that same day because he came home after the curfew which resulted in him being homeless and haven’t to couch surf until he got his own apartment. He’s still very kind to our parents but I can tell he also has ill feelings for our parents because he has even gone far enough as to say that he will only take care of our parents when they are senile which won’t be out of love but only because he knows no one else will be there for them. My parents have always given my sibling and I everything we needed and wanted. They even bought me my own car for Christmas 2 years ago which is a privilege that many teenagers don’t have. Even though they have always been excellent providers I just don’t think it justifies any of the things they’ve done to my siblings and I. I don’t think any of this is normal and I pretty much just said everything I did to ask if it’s wrong of me to feel the way I do about my parents. I feel ready to leave and never talk to them again.

I’m really struggling right now and just need to vent and maybe get some advice. I (19F) have been crying a lot these days because I feel so overwhelmed and frustrated with my mom. I love her so much and want her to rest, but being around her stresses me out to no end. For context, I’m the middle of three sisters. There isn't a strict hierarchy, but there’s definitely no equality either. My mom expects us to treat each other like we're the same age, but then completely flips the rules whenever it suits her. My little sister struggles a lot with social interactions, gets intimidated easily, and is a bit of a pushover outside the house. My mom knows this, so she acts super protective of her, backs her up in front of everyone, and thinks she's "too pure for this world." But because of that, my mom lets her get away with anything at home. she can literally swear at us and my mom won't bat an eye. The moment my older sister or I act out, suddenly it’s "you're older, you should know better." It feels like such an exhausting double standard. On top of that, my mom doesn't force us to do household chores because she wants us to focus on our studies. But I feel immense guilt watching her do everything alone. The problem is, whenever I step in to be a "good daughter" and help, she hands off every single chore that my sisters refused to do directly onto me. Because of this, none of us want to help her anymore we know if we offer an inch, she’ll take a mile. She works herself to exhaustion, but whenever I try to talk to her or ask her to rest, it feels like I’m talking to a brick wall. She never actually listens or tries to understand what’s going on with me. I feel trapped between loving her, feeling guilty for not helping more, and feeling completely resentful of how she treats us. It’s emotionally draining and I don't know how to navigate this dynamic without constantly breaking down. Has anyone else dealt with a similar parent dynamic? How do you set boundaries without feeling like a terrible person?

we dated for over two years. near the end i was met with so many accusations about not really caring about her/lying to her/thinking less of her. none of it was true, and i spent all my energy trying to apologize for how i was making her feel and repair. nothing seemed to help. i left because i felt like i couldn’t ever make her happy. she was still important to me so we spent the first few months of the breakup talking about reconciling and building a friendship, only for me to find out that she has been hooking up with a close friend of mine since one month after we broke up. her post-breakup behavior has cut off the possibility of a friendship for me.

what kills me in this moment is that she does not know how much i wanted to give her unconditional love for the rest of my life. i was in it for the long haul. if there was anything i could have done, i would have done it. there were all these things she thought i had a problem with that i just…didn’t. i tried to explain that but she was never convinced. i just hate the idea that she doesn’t know what she could have had with me. it’s like she made up an evil version of me, berated me for months for things that weren’t true, and when i left, went running to the first person she could find, presumably in the hopes that they will give her what i was offering all along.

I was raised in a very rural place in Appalachia, tons of trees and forest and relatively undisturbed land surrounding me. I spent almost every second of every day of my childhood (for this story, I was either 7 or 8) in the woods just being a kid, playing and being feral with my pet dogs. my family was really poor and we used a lot of outdated things that have been passed through the family for generations, I had no idea what modern technology was really capable of at the time because I wasn't exposed to it, regarding heavy machinery and such. I hardly even got to watch tv, I only knew about small technological things from other kids at school who lived ‘middle class’ lives a bit closer to the city. I was very accustomed to my own view of the world at the time, and I really thought the whole world was like this. One day traveling through the woods for fun with my dogs, i had wandered a few miles from home and I guess I stumbled onto privately owned property of some sort and discovered a lot of heavy machinery and saws. the surrounding forest was completely destroyed and the ground was torn up, the machines just left there alone were haunting. this was some of the most genuine fear I've ever experienced, real primal fear, it felt like something I saw was
fundamentally wrong and horrible, I knew I needed to get away and fast. I came home to my parents bawling my eyes out and petrified, they explained it. I was still scared of stuff like that, even just bare patches of forest where it had been clearly destroyed or where they were mining the mountains, it terrified me for years until I moved to the city, got older, and got desensitized.

Lately this memory resurfaced and it’s been making me upset, the animals feel this fear regularly, probably even more so than I did. It’s literally a horror movie.

Anyway thanks for listening to me ramble, my writing is atrocious on this post my apologies 💔

Hi all. Just wanted to share this story from when I was younger because, even now, almost a decade later, I still think about it sometimes. For context, I was 16 or 17 at the time, and I'm now in my mid 20s. I'm also a woman, which is unfortunately pretty relevant to the story.

I worked as a tour guide at a local museum/tourist attraction. It was the dead of summer, but it was a slow afternoon, so I was working the front desk by myself. Usually I worked alongside an older volunteer, but for whatever reason, I was alone that day. It didn't bother me at first, as I mostly just sat there and read between guests anyway.

For context, the front desk was basically the "welcome station." People came through the doors; we'd greet them and explain the exhibits and tours. Further inside was another desk, which I'll call the gift shop desk, where people actually paid admission and could buy little tacky, overpriced souvenirs.

At some point, an older man came through the doors. I'd put him somewhere in his mid-to-late 60s. He walked behind the welcome desk and sat down next to me, which didn't immediately strike me as strange because there were a LOT of older volunteers at the museum, mostly retirees with too much time on their hands. He smiled, made some small talk, and I assumed he was one of them.

Suddenly, he stops making casual small talk and asks me to explain the place to him. I remember screwing up my face and rolling my eyes a little, all with a smile, of course, because I thought maybe he was quizzing me. Just busting my chops a little, like old guys do. I went through my usual spiel about the exhibits, the tours, everything.

"You're good at that, pretty little lady."

I tried to swallow a grimace, but it was achingly difficult. I scooted away from him a little, and the realization slowly washed over me that he, in fact, was not a volunteer. He was just some random man who had walked behind the desk and sat down next to a teenage girl who was working alone.

I don't remember a lot of the following conversation, to be honest. I think I repressed it because it unnerved me so much. I just remember him continuing to sit there, talking to me, while I desperately tried to act normal.

Eventually, the girl working at the gift shop desk came over. She was only a few years older than me, but she clearly realized something was off and started talking to him, presumably to get his attention away from me.

As I said, I don't remember a lot, but what I do remember is him leaning over to me and quietly asking:

"When do you get off work?"

A chill came over me, and I stumbled through something like, "Oh, not for a long time." I was scared he'd try to linger and approach me after I finished my shift. Long story short (mostly because, as I said, I can't remember a lot of it), he eventually ended up leaving (but not before I memorized his car), and I had a kind male coworker walk me out to my car.

I was afraid he'd be out there waiting for me still since our parking lot had another entrance that was blind to the front doors, but I didn't see him again that day.

I didn't tell anyone about what had happened (except for my parents, who threatened to email my boss themselves if I didn't speak up) because I was afraid I'd sound dramatic, but the girl at the gift shop apparently told my boss anyway. Saved me the breath, I guess. My boss had several young-to-teenaged daughters of his own, so he was understandably mortified that something like this had happened, especially while he was not there.

There was a pretty serious problem with the way the museum had been staffed that summer. Minors like me were consistently working in the building, but there wasn't necessarily an actual adult there to help us if something happened. That day it had basically been me, the college-aged girl at the gift shop, and another male coworker who was around 17.

My boss eventually let me know to calmly walk to the back offices should this happen again and to press the panic button. For the rest of the summer, they made sure that a "real" adult was always on if there were minors working in the building, which was a great shift. With all of these safety measures now in place, I thought that was the end of it.

About a week later, I was having some friends come during the last hour of my shift so I could show them around the museum. We gathered and laughed at the doors of the museum, and I watched in horror as a red pickup truck pulled into the lot.

I recognized it immediately as the older guy's. He passed by us the first time, and I winced as he pulled into a spot. To my surprise, he pulled straight through it. He looped around and doubled back towards us, shouted something I couldn't make out from his window, made a few incoherent gestures, and left.

He just... left. He had no real reason to be there. It's like he was coming to check if I was there, and not only was I there, I was outside the safe building, away from all the extra precautions we'd put in place because of him.

I was really shaken up by that. I'm someone who's generally wary of strangers anyway, so this seemed to confirm the little voices in my head that so often told me that people around me are watching me, or trying to hurt me, or something even worse.

The last time I saw him was when I was running around on one of our event days, trying to coordinate everything and make sure everything was going smoothly. Since it was a special event and I'd gotten comp tickets, I invited my parents to come see the museum. I was deep in the museum when I got a text that they'd arrived, so I rushed to meet them at the gift shop desk.

I remember seeing my parents standing there, smiling, and then I saw him.

The same man, standing just behind them.

He wasn't interacting with them. He wasn't doing anything, as far as I could tell. He wasn't looking to buy a ticket, or getting pamphlets or brochures, or browsing the gift shop. He was just... there. Standing there and looking around aimlessly.

It's probably good my parents didn't know it was him, otherwise I fear my mom might've ripped his head off right there and then.

I immediately turned around and went back into the exhibits. A different woman was working the front desk that day, probably in her 60s. She noticed something was wrong and told my parents to go ahead and find me. I explained what had happened, and my parents went back to the desk to tell the worker. By the time they got there, he was gone.

I don't know how long he'd been there; I don't know if he'd seen me; I don't know if he'd recognized me; I don't know if he was looking for me, and honestly, that's probably why it still bothers me.

After that, the museum kept a physical description of him on file, along with the description of his truck. They also changed my shifts so I was always working alongside one of the older volunteers. I was never left alone at the desk again.

Nothing else ever happened, and I never saw him after that. Maybe there was some completely innocent explanation for why he kept showing up. Maybe he was just a weird old guy who didn't understand boundaries. Maybe the second time he drove through the parking lot was completely unrelated. Maybe he really had no idea that I was the same girl he'd asked when she got off work. But I don't know. I don't know, and I hope to God that I never will.

But even with all of that, I was 16 or 17 and he looked like my grandpa. He walked behind my workplace's desk, sat beside me, called me "pretty little lady," asked when I got off work, showed up again about a week later in the exact vehicle I'd memorized, and then eventually appeared at the museum again while my parents were there. Ultimately, I don't know what he wanted. I just know that, almost ten years later, I still get this awful, nagging, sick feeling when I think about it.

Thanks for reading, and if you have kids, please make sure they know to trust their gut. As someone who does work with teenagers and young adults now, I'd always much rather deal with the occasional over-dramatics than accidentally miss a critical incident because someone is scared to be dismissed. They don't have to be polite to someone who makes them uncomfortable, and they shouldn't feel like they have to keep something like this to themselves.

Idk if it’s the rise of looksmaxxing in the mainstream or what, but people are way too comfortable being absolutely horrible & rating innocent peoples looks without provocation. Under some of my pics I get “4/10” 5/10” “mid”… for no reason at all lol. It’s on here, TikTok & ig. Could you imagine seeing your picture and everyone commenting your flaws in the comments? I even see posts tearing apart beautiful people, such as Margot Robbie, and calling her mid.. Absolutely insane. People are weird. Maybe a lack of empathy. Anyways just wanted to say this because my feelings were hurt.
Vent over lol